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Crowley slouched over his boring glass desks, he stared at the paperwork, his eyes glazed over. He could feel the years draining from his existence, and he wasn’t even going to die. He glanced up, tapping on he table as he looked for something to do. He started to click his tongue and kicked his legs. He leaned over the desk to see if anyone was coming to check on him… No one… Well, it surely wouldn’t hurt anything if he stretched his legs a little bit. Being an archangel was a lot of hard, boring work, he deserved a break.
Crowley scooted the. Chair backward and cracked his back, he didn’t think an angel could even get back pain. God must’ve had it out for him or something. Maybe god just didn’t want him to have fun. Well, he’d show her how much fun he could have. He started humming something that didn’t exist, it was very bad. He started to awkwardly shuffle his legs. He slowly got more into it, fully enjoying his weird, awkward shuffle.
”Oh my!” An angel exclaimed, Crowley looked toward the entrance to see the lovely angel that helped him create the universe, Aziraphale. He looked timid, holding a stack of papers. “I-I was told to- uh- I uh- I’m supposed to- what… what are you doing?” Aziraphale stammered.
”I’m uh… dancing, I think.” Crowley answered, he stared at Aziraphale as he shuffled over to the desk and placed the paperwork on the table. The angel walked towards the exit. “Would you care to join me?” Crowley asked on a whim. Aziraphale turned back to look at Crowley. He started fidgeting with his robes.
”I.. I’ve never danced before…” Aziraphale mumbled, “I’ve never tried it, I’ve always heard angels couldn’t dance.” He stated.
“Pssh, I’m dancing, aren’t I?” Crowley scoffed playfully. “C’mon, it’s fun!” He smiled at him, continuing to twist his body.
”Oh, alright!” Aziraphale walks towards Crowley. Crowley starts to hum again and twist his body. Aziraphale taps his foot on the ground. He smiled as Crowley took his hands and spun around with him. They were both very out of sync, and kept stepping on each other’s toes. They ended up tripping over each other’s feet, and fell to the ground. They both laughed about this, Crowley helped Aziraphale get up.
”We better get back to work” Crowley scratched the back of his neck, looking at the intimidating pile of papers. Aziraphale nodded, then smiled sweetly as he left the office. Crowley sat back down in his seat.
What a way to stick it to god.
—
Crowley smiled mischievously as he set up a new thing the humans thought up of, speakers. He could play music throughout hell’s hallways. Unfortunately, he had to set it up in Beezlebub’s office, since that was were all of the electronics led. It was really a fire hazard that they needed to fix. He shook his head out of his thoughts, he needed to finish this glorious idea he had. He started to hear flies buzzing around him. He groaned as he look behind him. The grand duke was glaring at him.
“What are you doing?” They asked through gritted teeth.
“Beezlebub! Grand Duke of Hell! Wow, you look so… great.” Crowley complimented, Beezlebub did not look pleased. “I’m just setting up some uh.. human gizmos. They’re really cool I think you’ll like them-“ Crowley explained as he patted the radio.
”What use do we have with… ‘human gizzzmozzz’?” Beezlebub rolled their eyes. Crowley started to pace around the room, Beezlebub was not ready for one of his lectures. They were the Grand Duke of Hell, they should be lecturing Crowley for being so stupid.
”I saw on a magazine that humans work better with some music playing, and I know we have a problem with those lower ring demons not doing work…” Crowley offered, he spread his arms out like he was the smartest demon in hell. Beezlebub was not impressed.
”The demonzzz get too easily distracted.”
”Well, you can reward them when they do bad! Or just listen to music yourself!” Crowley suggested, he turned the radio on and it started to play a song. It was one of those songs with a chorus of human women singing. “And you can dance…” Crowley smirked as he started to sway side to side. Beezlebub groaned and started to walk away. “C’mon Beezlebub, you know you want to~”
”I hate you so much.” Beezlebub scoffed, and glared at Crowley, who was dancing horribly. They sighed and smiled, then walked over to join Crowley’s weird grooving. Crowley grinned widely as Beezlebub twisted their body up and down..
“What the hell is that!?” Crowley cackled.
”At least I’m dancing, you’re just… moving your arms!” Beezlebub frowned, Crowley just laughed even harder.
”Oh, what, you want me to go all out?” Crowley asked. He started to spin his hips around, scooting closer to Beezlebub.
”Oh my zzzatan, no.”
“I’ll show you what I can do.”
”I’m going to drink holy water.” Beezlebub covered their eyes as Crowley wiggled toward the ground. When they opened their eyes, they saw that Crowley had a hand on the ground and was kicking his legs. Beezlebub burst out laughing, they flailed their arms in the air to counter this… strange dance. They both weren’t dancing to the music anymore. Beezlebub was buzzing happily.
”Lord Beezlebub- oh…” A lower demon barged in. Beezlebub and Crowley froze in place, Beezlebub walked toward the radio and turned it off, then glared at the demon.
”Who gave you permission to come into here?” Beezlebub question, they signaled for Crowley to leave. Crowley nodded and walked out of the office as the demon stammered an explanation. He smiled to himself as he walked toward the escalator to go back to Earth.
—
It was 1946, WWII ended months ago, Crowley and Aziraphale were celebrating the end of the war in the bookshop. They were on the bottom floor, a few bottles of wine were on a table as they drank through it.
“Maybe we should lay off the wine… my dear boy.” Aziraphale hiccuped, he finished his glass
”Aagh, this is rubbish.” Crowley huffed. He downed the rest of his glass and slammed in on the table.
”I want to save some of this wine! It was.. ec.. expensive.” Aziraphale reasoned. He watched as the demon got up from the love seat.
“Dance with me, Angel.” Crowley offered, stumbling over to Aziraphale.
”Oh… Angels don’t dance.” Aziraphale shook his head. “I’m far too drunk to dance anyway.”
”Well, sober up! I’ll teach ya!” Crowley smirked at him. “I, for one, am an exceptional dancer.” He bragged.
“Oh… oh alright…” Aziraphale shut his eyes tightly, Crowley did the same. Crowley stumbled back into a table as they drained most of the alcohol from their body. Aziraphale got up and put a song on the record player, it was “A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square”. He walked up to Crowley, ready to dance.
“Just follow my lead, yea?” Crowley leaned into Aziraphale.
”You are an idiot.” Aziraphale smiled, as he softly pushed Crowley off of him. He looked down as Crowley took his hands. Crowley did a simple four step dance, Aziraphale kept stepping on his toes though. The angel rested his head on Crowley’s shoulders as the demon continued to lead.
”You keep stepping on my toes, Angel…” Crowley whispered into Aziraphale’s ear. Aziraphale hummed, acknowledging Crowley’s small complaint. He would just use the excuse that he couldn’t dance to justify it later. The demon hummed along to the song as he swayed with Aziraphale. He spun the Angel before bringing him closer.
He adored small moments like this, just him and his Angel… and his angel stepping on his toes.
—
Crowley climbed onto one of the tables in the middle of the halls of hell. He smirked, waiting for his generic disco song he chose to start playing on the speakers. “DEMONS OF HELL!” He announced, almost all of the demons looked up at him. “Lord Beezlebub has granted you one dance party ever since the last one went sour. I think it’s time we get GROOVY!” Crowley tapped his foot, the heel clicking against the table.
“What is the meaning of this, Crowley?” Ligur pushed demons out of the way. Hastur followed close behind, who obviously wasn’t a fan of the amount of crowding in the halls.
“Beezlebub said we could have a dance party.” Crowley shrugged as he thrusted his hips into the air and rolling his arms around each other. “You two should join me on the table.” He suggested, glancing at the crowd of demons dancing. Hastur quickly climbed onto the table, Ligur reluctantly followed. “Well, you should dance now that you’re up here.”
”You tricked us.” Ligur stated, he crossed his arms. Hastur started to do the snorkel, but Ligur slapped him over the head. Hastur looked down at the table.
”I’m a demon, that’s what I do.” Crowley smirked. He hip-bumped Ligur as he lead the demons.
”I kind of want to dance…” Hastur muttered to Ligur. The other duke rolled his eyes.
“Fine. I won’t like it though.” Ligur replied. He watched as Hastur do the snorkel again, and Crowley do the sprinkler. He reluctantly tapped his foot on the table to the disco music. Crowley skid his heel on the table and pointed at Ligur, looking at him expectantly. The demon sighed, then started to turn his arms robotically. Hastur grabbed Ligur’s hands and spun around with him.
Crowley got on his knees and played an hair guitar that didn’t exist anywhere in the song.
“What’zzz all thizzz?” Beezlebub asked the three demons. They looked back at the crowd of dancing demons. “What are you three doing?” Beezlebub raised their eyebrow.
“Dancing” The three of them slowly replied.
”Well… cut it out, you three suck.” Beezlebub turned to leave. Crowley sighed, his dance party plans were unfortunately thwarted. He got off the table and stomped off to do some reports.
—
Crowley sat on his car’s roof, admiring the stars. He wished he could see his creations up close again, one last time… he loved each and every one of those stars that he had a big hand in creating. He looked down, at the Earth, the place he was supposed to stay. He didn’t like that Earth overshadowed all of the other stars, but he also loved the Earth. He wouldn’t have learned all his dance moves if it wasn’t for the Earth. He looked at his Bentley, his beautiful car. He patted the roof of it and smiled to himself.
”You wouldn’t mind putting on some music, yeah?” He asked the car. He chose the song, and he made the music play, but he liked to pretend his car was alive. His car was his friend, because… he didn’t have many real friends. Only Aziraphale, and he would never admit they were friends. It was nice to have something you could rely on, that isn’t your best friend. He hummed along softly to “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen.
“Why don’t we go for a ride, ol’ girl.” Crowley suggested, he hopped into the driver’s seat from the roof. He patted the dashboard before he started to drive. He bobbed his head as he drove on the road back to London. He swayed side to side, softly singing as he drove. How would a car dance…? Crowley questioned in his head. Would it be driving? Would it be blasting music during a bumpy part of the road? As Crowley turned the corner, he wondered if he was dancing with the Bentley. He was swaying with his car.
Crowley furrowed his eyebrows, he had to stop letting his mind wander. He came up with the weirdest thoughts… Was he dancing with his car though…
—
Crowley stared at the phonograph in the middle of the bookshop. He was a bottle in and the silence was killing him. He got up from the soft lounge chair that seemed to suck him into it. Crowley looked at a record, “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square”, he ran his thumb over the cover. He gently took out the record and started to play it. He did the same dance he taught Aziraphale. He was drunk, alone, and heartbroken.
He trailed around the the room, swaying to the music as he looked at the clutter. He missed being told off by Aziraphale, he missed drinking with him, he missed the ritz, he missed the new cologne every week, he missed the late night cuddles, and the awkward dancing. He missed him. He didn’t have anyone anymore. He didn’t have heaven, he didn’t have hell, he didn’t have his angel. He barely knew Nina and Maggie, and he was sure they didn’t want anything to do with him. He was alone. Dancing in the abandoned bookshop by himself.
”Mr. Crowley?” A small voice spoke up, Crowley turned to look at the Angel supposedly running the bookshop now. Right, he supposed he had Muriel. “What is that you’re doing?” They asked, keeping a distance from him. He wondered what Heaven had fed them, if it was the same old lies they told everyone. Maybe he could save Muriel.
”’m dancing…” Crowley mumbled. “Would you care to join me?” He offered, holding his hand out. Muriel stared at the hand, like he was satan himself trying to drag Muriel with him. “‘m not gonna hurt you. It’s alright.”
”I’ve.. never danced before. I thought angels couldn’t dance.” Muriel admited.
“Ah, that’s just a myth. They try ‘nd stop you from havin’ some fun.” Crowley smiled at them. Muriel smiled back and took his hand.
”Are you going to teach me?” Muriel beamed.
“Yeah, I will.” Crowley nodded, “Step on my feet.” He instructed. Muriel stepped on his feet, practically glowing from excitement. He led Muriel, who was not helping. They were bouncing on Crowley’s poor feet. The demon couldn’t get mad at them though, he didn’t know why. They were just so happy to be learning, and he was happy to be teaching. He did the steps, and swayed with the angel. He spun them, then sat them down on the lounge chair. Muriel was giggling, and kicking their feet.
”That was so much fun! Why haven’t I ever danced before?” Muriel beamed, looking up at the ceiling. Crowley didn’t have the heart to tell them they didn’t really dance.
“Hey, would you like to join me at the Ritz?” Crowley asked, “You don’t have to eat anything, you can just watch.”
”Would I!? Oh this is so exciting!” Muriel got up. They followed close behind Crowley as he closed up the bookshop to go dine at the Ritz with his new friend.