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The biggest lie that Crowley tells is that Aziraphale never parts with his books.
He's not actually opposed to parting with his books for the right cause. It's just that, well, no cause has ever seemed to be the right one. And he dreads to think about what would happen to some of his first editions if they fell into the wrong hands. They'd fall apart in a matter of weeks, the poor things. And what good would that be to anyone?
So, alright, perhaps Aziraphale doesn't part with his books, but that doesn't mean it won't ever happen. He anticipates that when the time comes between doing the good and right thing and holding onto his precious tomes, he'd be willing to make the sacrifice.
It's just that he's been so successful at avoiding this scenario up until now. Up until the moment that the American enters his shop.
Aziraphale's first impression is that this man is incredibly out of place. Though he knows he's hardly one to talk. His tastes haven't evolved with the rest of the world and he knows a good amount of the time he stands out like a sore thumb. But this man, however far in the opposite direction it may be from Aziraphale, seems like he's just stepped in from a completely different world. Everything from his trainers to his moustache seems to scream "I'm not from here".
"Good day, Sir, how may I help you?" asks Aziraphale.
"Well, hey there. Mr Fell, I presume?"
"The one and only," smiles Aziraphale and then his brow knits in thought. "Although that's almost certainly not true, come to think of it. There have to be more out there."
"I would certainly think so," says the American, holding out a hand for Aziraphale to shake. "I'm Ted Lasso. It's lovely to meet you."
"Likewise, Mr Lasso," he says. "How may I help you?"
"Oh, I was just exploring a bit of London and I happened to stumble upon your fine establishment. I just moved here for work, you see."
"Oh how delightful," says Aziraphale. "What is it you do?"
This is the trick to getting people to leave without buying anything, you see. If you keep them talking, engaged in conversation, answering questions, they don't have time to get attached to any of the books.
"Well, I'm a socc- I mean football coach for one of the Premier League teams here in London."
"Oh sport. Can't say I know all too much about all that."
"You know what, Mr Fell, between you and me? Neither can I," he laughs. Aziraphale can't quite put his finger on it, but there's something wonderful about this man. It's been quite some time since Aziraphale has met anyone quite so earnest. "See, I should probably be using my day off to do some research into the sport that I'm being paid to coach, but I've heard so many good things about London and I'm trying to see as much of it as possible. Then I saw your bookstore as I was exploring and I thought, well, might as well kill two birds so to speak."
Aziraphale hates the expression, but lets it go for now. Mr Lasso has been nothing but incredibly polite and complimentary. It wouldn't do to go editing his turns of phrase.
"What is it you're looking for?" he asks.
"I was hoping to find some good books for my team," Mr Lasso replies. "You see, I'm a firm believer that the right words can change the world, even if that change is just in someone's mind to begin with. I'm dealing with a group of young men who have been told for so long that they're mediocre that it's all they believe they can ever hope to be. I'm looking for a way to show them that they can change the ending of their stories."
Aziraphale realises in that moment what it is about this man that's so wonderful. Love. It flows from him as freely as air and he takes a moment to enjoy the way it warms his shop. It's clear even from just this conversation that this man cares so much about what he's doing and the people he's doing it for. It's radiating off of him. Aziraphale knows then that he has to help him, even if it's with some of the less precious books in his collection.
"Well, that is perfectly doable. Let's see what we can find, shall we?"
Mr Lasso, with Aziraphale's help and advice, spends the better part of an hour carefully choosing a book for each person on his team. He really puts thought into it too, telling Aziraphale about what they're struggling with, and what he wants to tell them. Aziraphale, in turn, suggests titles that fit his description. After a while Mr Lasso is at the till with two large bundled piles of books and an even larger grin.
"I gotta tell you, Mr Fell, this has just been the best service I think I have ever received in a store. Thank you for your help. I'm sure the team is going to love their books."
"No, Mr Lasso, thank you," he says as he writes out a receipt by hand. "Not only for your custom, but also for a splendid time. I do love a challenge and this one really was such fun."
"Oh, anytime," says Ted, as he picks up the bundles and starts making his way to the door. "It's a wonderful place. I'm going to tell all my new friends to come shop here."
"Oh no please don't," says Aziraphale through a smile and when Mr Lasso replies with 'sorry?', he quickly corrects to, "That would be wonderful. Wishing you every success with your sport."
"And you with your adventures too," he says giving one last polite nod before heading out the door. He waves to someone as he goes and Aziraphale is horrified to find that it's Crowley.
"Angel," he says, bursting through the door with a wicked grin, "do my eyes deceive me or did I just see a customer walking away with well over twenty books?"
"You know I don't refuse to sell my books, Crowley," Aziraphale rebuts, pursing his lips. "I'm just not always successful at parting with them."
"And this bloke's a special case?" Crowley asks, looking a little too smug. Aziraphale, however, can't bring himself to regret his decision to help Ted Lasso.
"Yes, I daresay he is."
There's a comfortable little silence between them, in which Aziraphale wonders how easy it would be to keep tabs on how well Mr Lasso's team is doing.
"Crowley," he asks. "How much do you know about football?"
"Oh absolutely bugger all," Crowley replies.
Well. That's that then.