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“You want to stay on Earth.”
The Doctor thought back to when they first met. Him clad in an impossibly long scarf and her an angry mouth wrapped in a lavender uniform. She was always there with a comment or question. He had found her annoying for so long. Too long. She drove him up the wall. And, cruelly, he only became aware of how much he loved it a few seconds ago. She challenged him in a way he needed to be.
“My Aunt Vanessa said,” Tegan began sadly. “When I became an air stewardess. If you stop enjoying it, give it up--”
“Tegan.”
But he had been careless with her. He left her in an unfamiliar jungle just to be possessed by The Mara, and he abandoned her at Heathrow without a word.
“It’s stopped being fun, Doctor!” She stiffly stuck her hand out in front of him, finally looking at him in the eyes. “Goodbye.”
In a numb haze he gently took her hand and squeezed it. He couldn’t even shake it, which Turlough was able to do. The young boy seemed just as surprised as him.
The Cyberleader’s question rang in his head, ‘You have affection for this woman?’. At the time he had stated that Tegan was a friend. Now, the word ‘affection’ took on multiple meanings, all of which clawed at his two hearts almost mockingly.
He remembered the spark in his chest when he reunited with her in Holland, finally knowing for sure that she was alive and well after be captured by Omega. He remembered how enchanting she looked in that Edwardian dress, how it hugged her figure perfectly. He’d been stupid to not compliment her then. The Eternals had been so fascinated with her, and who could blame them with the colourful and compassionate mind she has.
And he himself was fascinated by her. As well as proud. Her courage when she stands up to whatever villain they face and her unwavering caring heart for the innocent. But what stood out for him was her faith in him. It wasn’t a blind faith that so many companions had before her, it was a faith that had been built up by trust and friendship. Despite all of their arguing and quips, they learned to believe in each other.
And she was about to leave. Forever.
“I’ll miss you both.” Tegan said, quickly backing away and running out of the room.
His feet moved fast and he begged, “No, no! Don’t leave, not like this!”
“I must, I’m sorry!”
His coordinator. His light at the end of the tunnel. His brave heart.
He’d been a coward when he said goodbye to Sarah Jane, and he never took advantage of the precious few seconds he had left with Romana. He wouldn’t let this last chance slip by.
The Doctor ran fast to catch up with her and held her hands in his. “Tegan, please wait--”
“No! I’m leaving.”
“I know,” He said gently. He wasn’t going to be selfish, he knew he couldn’t make her stay no matter how much he wished her to. “And I’ll let you leave, just please let me give you a proper goodbye.”
Tegan looked up at him with her big brown eyes, holding her chin up high. “Fine, go on then. But make it quick.”
And so he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He felt her take a sharp intake of breath as he did and a part of him expected her to spring back and smack him. So he was quite surprised when she actually deepened the kiss, sighing into it with ease. His hands left hers to give a feather’s touch on her hips. Despite being firm about letting her go, he feared that if he held onto her tighter than that he would go back on his word. Her lips were impossibly soft and tasted like cherries, he could just melt into her.
But, he couldn’t.
The Doctor slowly pulled away. He opened his mouth to say goodbye when she put her fingertips on his lips. “Brave heart, Doctor.” She said.
And then she was gone, running out of the warehouse with the clicking from her heels echoing after her. His arms felt cold without her.
Bittersweetly, he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked back to the TARDIS.