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“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be? What my true happiness could even look like.”
My mind is running.
“I never found an answer because the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have.“
It all happened so fast, one second he was declaring his love… and the next he was taken by the stupid ass Empty. I didn’t even get to reply. I was so oblivious to the fact that Cas loved me like that. Damn it, I should’ve noticed it sooner.
“Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.“
It’s like a record player, scratching and repeating every single word he said before he left me. I stood there, I didn’t even try anything. I didn’t even try to save him. I let it take him away from me.
“You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know."
I could've done something. Why didn't I do anything?
"You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you."
He cared about someone like me. Even though I've killed or hurt people I loved. He pulled me out of hell and rebelled against heaven for me.
"You changed me, Dean."
His words keep repeating and replaying in my head. With every thought I think, it's all about him and only him. It's been 10 minutes since.. since he was taken. I wonder if I could make a deal, maybe Jack could pull him out or Sam can- can find a spell to get him back.
"I love you."
It's like a punch in the face, my heart hurts. It's too late. I couldn't even find the words to say it back. I hope he can hear me, I hope he can still hear me.
"Goodbye, Dean."
"I love you, too."