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Thank you so much for all the love on my first fic. I really appreciate it! I hope you like this one too!
I love yall so much <3 Please drink some water and/or make some tea while you read.
Peter could never sleep at night without knowing where his friends were. Their voices were like white noise to his tired ears, wrapping him in safety and protection. Having friends with you at night felt like being watched over by the stars. But it was only Peter in the dorm that night. Lupin was out late patrolling and Sirius was with him. James had gone to a party in Hogsmeade and had yet to return. Peter had been invited but chickened out scared of the girls James was bringing. Peter could be very brave, bordering on foolish at Hogwarts and the Forest but step out of the gate? He was just a pudgy boy with golden friends and a tin heart. He shifted in his bed trying to sleep. Time passed and still no James. Finally, Peter sat up again and grabbed his journal to write. He hadn't written in several nights but was always calmed by the feeling of the leather against his hands.
He wrote in thick, almost childish letters page after page until the door slammed open causing Peter to abruptly end his sentence with an ink splatter. He straightened up very fast, blinking into the bright wand light. “J..James?” Peter's voice wavered in the dark. He was way too used to people coming and going in his dorm. James made a drunken noise of greeting and Peter jumped up and rushed over to him holding him tight. “Shit dude your back so late I was getting worried”. James chuckled drunkenly and mussed up Peter's hair.” You worry too much Petey I’m fine”. “ Just a lil just … tipsy”. He swayed concerningly and Peter moved him onto his bed. James burped and immediately passed out. Peter sighed and gently placed a pillow under James' head and took off his diary jacket before conjuring a glass of water and hangover potion and putting it on his bedside table. He sat down beside James and watched his chest rise up and down checking that he was still breathing. James twitched and blinked open his eyes. Seeing he was on Peter’s bed he groaned.” Shit mate I'm sorry let me move”. He tried to get up but Peter stopped him.” James it’s ok I like having you close. This way I can watch over you and make sure nothing hurts you in the night. You're like my brother James and I'm gonna watch over you. Forever.” “ Thanks mate I really am glad you're one of my best friends' '. “ I would trust you to hold the world”. “ You better promise though," James said with a trusting twinkle in his eye. “I dunno how'd I live without you.” Peter smiled, nodded and tucked James into his own bed before sliding in next to him. And even though James was next to him Peter stayed awake for a while longer looking forward to the stories James would share the next morning. Peter brushed a lock of hair off James forehead marveling how even in sleep his hair would never lie still. Any feeling of guilt for leaving James to the mercy of alcohol was comforted by the care Peter could envelop James in. To some, it might seem romantic the way he held James but to Peter, this was how one treats a friend. He swore to himself to look after the sleeping James forever. And so he thought the cool smooth headstone soon grew to be less comforting under Peter's cracked fingertips. When the guilt plagged Peter at night he would come and sit on the plot of land James's grave sat on. He couldn't sit next to James's stone nor face it. He no longer felt worthy. But yet he came no matter the weather even when the sky hailed chunks of warning. Peter would often come and sit and spill out apologies in the form of flowers and tears. But they were never enough to fill the void. What Peter wouldn't give to be sitting next to James' warm body smelling of drink and the night?. What would Peter give to be writing about James in the present tense? He poured a hangover potion into the grass. “I'm sorry Jamie. I never meant to break my promise. I wonder if I hadn't taken the time away would you have left by yourself? Or would you have always stayed by my side?” Peter would never know.
Peter would never know.
Peter would never know ever again.
All because of that one night in a Londen bar with a figure one could barely describe as a man. Why would he ever give up his sun for a drink?
He could never find the words.
Thank you for reading!