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''She's here.'' Rinoa gasped, quickly withdrawing her hand from the ornate handle of one of the stone doors.
It burned her palm as if she had tried to grasp an open flame. She could feel the dreadful power of unfiltered magical energy imbuing everything around her, like a taut string about to snap, a humming vibration weighing down the very air she sucked in in an attempt to calm her nerves. There was no doubt now that Ultimecia knew they were here; Rinoa had sensed the ripple of magic emanating outward from her hand the moment her fingers touched the handle. Like a fly suddenly caught in a spider's web, its struggles simply asserting its demise, she thought, a chill running down her spine.
They were at the very top of the castle, outside on a wide, long bridge adorned with statues of grotesque demons and screaming, agonizing humans. They had walked single-file along to the other side, nervous of suddenly being so out in the open and exposed after the suffocating confines of the labyrinthine fortress. The moon hadn't moved an inch in the black void of the sky; in fact everything around them was unnaturally still and unnervingly quiet. The sound of their shoes had seemed deafening on the flagstones, furthering everyone's unease.
''...You're sure?'' Irvine asked, but his questioning tone died on his tongue. He knew Rinoa was right. They all knew. This was the very last room in the castle. This had to be it.
''Oh yeah.'' Squall interjected solemnly behind him, locking eyes with Rinoa in understanding. She was certain he was also feeling the tremendous force behind those doors through the bond they shared, the frightening aura of hatred and evil that made goosebumps prickle across her arms and neck. She reached out to him in her mind and was momentarily shocked by the unbridled fury and rage he was feeling, by his desire to just go berserk and get it over with as quickly as possible. It was only after that she noticed the small hints that betrayed his seemingly collected demeanor; the way his jaw was set, how his fingers clenched around the handle of his gunblade, his other hand in a tight fist by his side, trembling. The tension in his raised shoulders. He was barely holding it together.
She was about to speak when the set of doors opened by themselves, excruciatingly slowly, with a low grinding sound that made the whole group jump. Looking at each other gravely, everyone checked their weapons and equipment one last time. Committing each other's faces to memory, one last time, just in case. Squall walked across the group to the front, next to Rinoa, feeling like he was walking through a thick gel. Without a glance back, his stare fixed on the darkness inside the hall and what undoubtedly lay ahead, he spoke;
''The only way out is through. Let's go.''
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And there she was.
She was leisurely sitting on an immense, ornate golden throne set on a pedestal which only accentuated her impressive height. The room the narrow hallway opened into had no ceiling; instead the full moon illuminated the obscene and lifelike statues of monsters and women adorning the walls around them. There was no mistaking the weight of her power here, anyone could feel it. It felt like the interminable second of heavy tension before a great thunderstorm exploded; the electricity coursing in the air and through them and stealing the breath from their lungs.
Sorceress Ultimecia was beautiful, but it was a frightening kind of beauty, one that commanded nothing less than total devotion and servitude. Her long silvery hair framed a face devoid of any warmth or compassion, a cold mask of disgust further amplified by the bold violet tattoos accentuating her brow and high cheekbones. Despite his position quite far below her throne, Squall saw and felt her striking reptilian amber eyes lock on to him, not unlike a predator tracking its next prey. He held her stare defiantly, unblinking, but she simply snorted derisively at him with a cruel smile on her crimson lips.
''SeeD...'' She began, in a low voice. ''SeeD... SeeD...'' She repeated, her voice steadily gaining in volume. ''SeeD, SeeD, SeeD!'' She yelled, swiping a monstrous clawed hand at the air in front of her angrily. ''Curse all of you! Swarming like locusts across generations. You disgust me.''
''Your reign ends now, Ultimecia!'' Rinoa called out, and next to her Squall sensed her own aura of magic starting to permeate the air. Ultimecia cocked her head slightly, appearing puzzled for a moment. She seemed to finally take notice of the young woman in blue below her. With a gaze and smirk akin to a cat mildly amused by a mouse in its claws, she straightened up somewhat, studying Rinoa intently.
''You are a sorceress. That is unusual.'' The veil of cold indifference suddenly fell from her face as her eyes snapped back to Squall. The abrupt shift in her behavior confused him, as if she had just realized something that shook her to her core. ''...And there is your knight, of course.'' She gave a mocking laughter, but it seemed nervous somehow. ''How charmingly conflicting! Tell me then, which are you first and foremost; SeeD... or knight?''
''Enough! I'll make you pay for what you did to me!'' Rinoa cut her off angrily, unaware of the white tendrils of light that danced between her fingers like liquid lightning. Squall was shocked at her bold aggressiveness, so unlike her normally. He wondered briefly if it was because of his own barely checked fury, spilling over their bond and influencing her so strongly.
''Insolent, foolish girl!'' Ultimecia boomed, suddenly furious, all traces of her earlier weakness erased. ''I remember you! You were but a puppet and nothing else. You should be grateful to me for giving your meaningless existence a purpose, to have been chosen as my temporary vessel!'' She spat angrily, then just as quickly regained her composure. ''To think the world was on the brink of that ever-elusive Time Compression... But it is your vain crusade that ends here, SeeDs. The price for your meddling is death beyond death, outside of time in a dimension beyond your imagining!'' She burst out in a truly unhinged laughter and stood, languidly making her way forward. Behind her unfurled great feathered wings, slowly expanding like a butterfly's emerging from its cocoon. Black as the void of space, the moon's light seemed to be absorbed by them, making them appear as two-dimensional wing-shaped holes in reality, completely devoid of detail, texture and depth.
The whole group tensed, taking their battle stances, weapons at the ready.
''I shall exterminate you all!'' Now on the edge of her throne's pedestal, wings fully outstretched on either side of her, she made it a point to look at each of them in turn with icy menace. ''One... after... the other... And you-'' Her merciless glare settled on Squall last. ''I promise I shall break you, destroy you... carefully, efficiently, until there is absolutely nothing left of you but an empty husk of who you used to be. ''
Squall's mind went blank as Ultimecia lowered herself to the ground nonchalantly with a delicate beat of her wings. He couldn't help the white hot rage that blinded his senses, simultaneously experiencing tunnel-vision yet feeling like he was watching his own body as he was charging toward her. Raising his gunblade above his head, teeth bared and eyes clouded by fury, he leapt through the air and aimed to strike her obliquely from shoulder to hip.
Ultimecia barely moved, lifting two fingers on her left hand and looking at him straight in the eyes with a derisive sneer as a powerful Protect spell engulfed her. Squall was quick though. Quicker even because of Rinoa's magic flowing into him, having settled into his newfound knight abilities remarkably fast. Correcting his stance mid-jump, he slashed against the magical barrier instead of crashing into it and only slightly stumbled with the rebound, sliding backwards on the ground on his feet and free hand to keep his balance.
The protective barrier around Ultimecia cracked, then shattered and faded entirely. This little show of strength had only furthered her suspicions; that this knight was certainly no ordinary SeeD. She could not underestimate him anymore. The look of panic and astonishment that appeared on her face for a very short moment emboldened Squall, who made a point of sneering at her in return. Gone was the mask of scornful amusement, Ultimecia's eyes were now filled with a chilling fury at this humiliation.
The rest of the group then joined Squall's side, and the fight began.
Unsurprisingly, Ultimecia's magical powers were a force to be reckoned with. The speed and violence with which she cast her offensive spells had everybody struggling to balance dodging, attacking and healing each other. Fortunately the six of them were very much attuned to one another in battle by now and it certainly showed. What had thrown a wrench in the gears had been the realization that none of them could call upon any Guardian Forces. They were there, still junctionned, but completely blocked from being summoned. Yet they adapted, relying more on physical attacks and their own stocks of para-magic to slowly gain the advantage.
A quick succession of hits from both Selphie's nunchucks and a Thundaga spell from Rinoa, after a carefully dispelled Shell from Irvine, had Ultimecia launching herself high in the air to regroup. Her wings started shimmering, a rain of crimson sparks falling from each of them.
''Behold, SeeD-knight! I shall summon whom you believe to be the most powerful... as my own Guardian Force. The stronger you will him to be, the stronger he shall become. You shall suffer!''
Lifting her clawed hand, the sparks gathered into a ball of blinding light above her palm, and with a swift flick of her wrist she cast it to the ground in front of them. For a few seconds nothing happened, and Squall actually wondered if she had missed him with her attack somehow.
(What I believe to be the most powerful? What is she...?)
But before he could wonder any further the ground started rumbling, and before them a large circular portal opened, as perfectly black as Ultimecia's wings. Both him and Quistis had to quickly jump back for fear of falling into it.
Two large crimson-clawed paws gripped the edge of the portal, and heaving itself out was this gigantic humanoid black lion with a flowing silver mane, its head sporting an array of intricate horns. It bellowed furiously, the sound deafening, baring its fangs and taking flight upon massive silvery wings as the portal faded away.
''Are you afraid of losing your memories? But that is not even the true horror of this Guardian Force.'' Ultimecia's voice thundered from high above. ''Show him your real power, Griever!''
''What the hell is this?'' Squall exclaimed, bewildered. He briefly locked eyes with Rinoa and she seemed as confused as him. There was no time to try and understand though, as the beast had landed heavily before the group, making the ground shake once more.
Squall wasted no time, readied his gunblade and charged toward the creature. At the very last second before the blade would make impact, the beast called Griever fell on all fours and grasped the blade easily in one of his giant paws. Dark violet blood dripped on the ground, but the lion still held the blade fast. Squall also did not let go, digging his heels in even as he was helplessly being pulled forward by Griever, closer toward his terrible face.
His grey eyes like glowing molten silver were boring into Squall's, filled with cold primeval power, an indifference only a predator could possess. Time seemed to stand still.
But Squall did not let go, in fact he tried wrenching the blade free from the lion's grasp and shot a few rounds into his paw. Griever winced slightly, dark blood now drenching Squall's hands and forearms, yet still the beast brought his massive head even closer to his, his frightful maw mere inches away now.
Squall still did not let go.
''Vividarium et intervigilium et viator.'' Griever suddenly spoke, with an impossibly low voice that resonated deeply and seemed to make Squall's insides vibrate. He opened his mouth, shock and confusion battling for dominance in his widening eyes.
But then the world lurched fiercely around him, his vision doubling and tripling, the only unmoving constant being Griever's steel-cold gaze.
And Squall did let go.
Then he collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
Hovering high above and well away from anyone's range, Ultimecia's expression was a blend of fear and consternation. ''The legendary SeeD...'' She whispered to herself, and fortunately everyone on the ground was too busy with more pressing matters to take any notice.
Before Griever could move any further, he was blown back violently by a powerful Tornado spell. Rinoa, eyes alight and wings fanned out, had leapt between him and her fallen knight. Irvine, Zell and Selphie charged ahead and quickly engaged in combat with the beast while it was momentarily stunned. Quistis was crouched at Squall's side in a flash, putting her ear near his nose and mouth.
''He's breathing.'' She reported, loud enough for Rinoa to hear, though whether it was to inform her or calm her own nerves she couldn't be sure. The whole encounter between their commander and this so-called Guardian Force, which had barely lasted fifteen seconds, had been absolutely bizarre. Squall had not been physically hurt, not in any serious manner anyway. In fast, practiced movements Quistis had him in the recovery position, and started rummaging in the pouches along her belt. Producing a small packet, she tore it open and yanked the soft orange and yellow feather from within, carefully applying it to Squall's forehead with her palm. He didn't move.
''It's not working.'' Quistis mumbled, perplexed. ''It should be working. Rinoa, it's not working!'' A mixture of frustration and panic crept into her voice.
Rinoa's head whipped around, the aloof expression of her sorceress state turning to worry for a fleeting moment. Quistis flinched involuntarily, casting her glance downward to avoid her blinding gaze. She couldn't help feeling extremely small face to face with such a formidable display of magical power. Rinoa's pale skin seemed to be glowing, everything about her giving the impression of a coiled spring, ready to unleash that energy explosively, at any second.
''S w i t c h.'' Rinoa spoke in a flat, otherworldly voice. Quistis noticed then how Rinoa's fingers twitched, the muscles in her arms and back jerking and jolting in intense, short bursts. She seemed to be struggling painfully to retain control of herself, to keep from going berserk like she had in Esthar.
''I got you.'' Quistis stood and took Rinoa's position between Squall and the beast, whose attention was thankfully solely focused on the rest of the group for the moment.
Rinoa knelt beside Squall, stretching her wings above his body in a protective embrace, drowning out the sounds of battle. Touching his cheek tenderly, she concentrated hard, ignoring the screaming urge to fight and destroy and annihilate that normally consumed her in this state, and successfully cast a Full-Life spell.
But Squall still didn't stir.
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It was dark. The kind of thick, heavy darkness where he couldn't even distinguish his own hand right in front of his face. Squall blinked several times, trying to adjust his sight, to distinguish something... but to no avail. There was not a single sound; even his breaths were muted. No wind, nor even a draft. The only thing he could warrant was that he was standing upright; he could feel something solid beneath his boots, feel the weight of his own body on his heels. Nevertheless, the near-total deprivation of his senses disturbed him.
(...Where am I? What happened? I was... fighting...)
It all came back to him at once.
(Griever.)
''You are all alone, little boy. There is nothing here but a despair of your own making.''
That deep rumbling voice again, resonating in Squall's chest, displacing the air from his lungs and making him nearly jump out of his skin. Two orbs of silvery light appeared in the distance, faintly illuminating the outlines of a snout and horned forehead.
''What are you, really?'' Squall demanded, quickly regaining his composure. He reached for Lionheart, was alarmed to find it missing, yet this discovery did not betray the stoic look on his face. He realized next that while he could not summon Shiva before, now he could not even feel her presence in the part of his mind where she normally resided. No weapon, no Guardian, no para-magic, no junctions. He felt uncomfortably exposed.
''I am the one you call Griever. I am the sum of your fears and doubts. The weight of your anxiety, distrust and loneliness. The heavy chain that hangs around your neck. I follow you everywhere. I have always followed you everywhere.'' The beast readily answered, the soft lights of his eyes climbing higher as he unhurriedly got closer.
''...This can't be real. You're just a symbol, nothing more!'' Squall lashed out, a feeling of dread now spreading from his stomach at being this vulnerable, in the dark and without a weapon, while the lion advanced toward him so nonchalantly.
''Symbols carry power. Power that can be made manifest by whomsoever holds enough knowledge and will.'' Griever explained, nearer still, and Squall had to crane his neck upwards so he could keep track of his eyes. A good eight feet, nine feet maybe, it was hard to gauge. Involuntarily he took a step back.
''...You're a Guardian Force, right? Why are you with Ultimecia? Are you not aware of her endgame?'' Squall asked, desperately trying to turn the situation in his favor. Another step back.
Griever stopped walking, tilting his massive head in puzzlement. ''I am not with the witch. I am against you, little boy.'' He clarified before resuming his movement. ''You shall never leave here, consumed by your guilt and shame until you let go, to be absorbed into time. Alone in the end as you have been in the beginning, as you have always been.''
''I'm not alone anymore!'' Squall cried out, angry and confused and rattled, feeling foolish and powerless. Griever was right there then, his ten-feet tall stature towering over him, making him feel like a child.
The lion bent down over him in a frightfully intimidating manner and Squall barely suppressed the urge to turn and run away at full speed. Yet paradoxically, his feet were also rooted to the spot, in a kind of fight-flight-freeze primal reaction that seemed to misfire on all accounts in his brain, and he could only shrink into himself under the beast's baleful stare.
''Listen closely, boy. I am the death of your mother upon your birth. I am the insecurity of having strangers leave you in an orphanage. I am the betrayal of Ellone abandoning you so suddenly, without a goodbye. I am the pity in the eyes of adults who took one look at you and thought 'No, not this one', over and over again. I am the loneliness of being a quiet child, not receiving as much attention as other louder, more rambunctious children. I am the distress of standing unsteadily on the steps of Balamb Garden, holding Matron's hand, at six years old. I am the rage and shame of Seifer harming you, time after time. I am the loss and regret, looking back at you from Rinoa's lifeless face. I am the hopelessness and panic in the dead of night when you wonder for the millionth time just what is wrong with yourself, the cold and bitter acceptance of you knowing but being powerless to change anything.'' The beast clarified, his breath like fire on Squall's face.
''...What?'' Was all Squall could stammer out, weakly, quietly, mouth agape... completely stunned. The quick-fire revelations had scrambled his brain and broken his mind; he just could not process the severity of what he'd just been made privy to, the implications too terrible to acknowledge. He was left to wonder dumbly how any of this was possible. Yet what remained was the finality of the lion's statements.
And the undeniable truth of it all.
''I am the sorrow and anguish and pain of a lifetime of self-imposed exclusion and cynicism. I am the countless worries you keep at bay so long as you are told what to do, yet haunt you with a vengeance every time eyes turn to you for guidance. I am the complete indifference you feel toward your future and the comfortable nihilism that grips you when you remember that SeeDs don't retire. I am the hand that pushes away when you are shown kindness and friendship. I am the twisted and bent and poisoned pieces of your miserable heart behind your brittle armor of cracked glass-''
In an impossibly fast movement, Griever's arms shot out and he gripped both of Squall's shoulders in his giant paws, the long red claws digging into his back. Squall cried out in pain, vainly trying to pull himself away, but froze once more when the lion's eyes drilled into his, lips upturned in a cruel sneer of monstrous teeth.
''What I really am... is grief, little boy, and you are the Griever.''
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The battle against the leonine Guardian Force raged on without the beast ever seeming to tire, yet no one was ready to give up. Ultimecia was still hovering above, observing with rapt interest and decidedly pleased with the way things were playing out. It did not matter in the end if the SeeD-knight was the legendary SeeD or not, her plan for such an event had clearly paid off. Soon the other SeeDs would get fatigued, and she would obliterate them all without fail. The sorceress would be trickier, but she was young and inexperienced; Ultimecia was unworried. She would inevitably falter. Especially without her knight.
She was patient, she could wait a little bit longer. Time was on her side.
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Rinoa was not deterred. Thinking that it must be some sort of strange status effect, she quickly cast an Esuna spell on her knight, but it was a fruitless effort yet again. She stared blankly for a second, dumbfounded, the feeling of failure while in her most powerful state threatening to make her lose control of the magic freely flowing through her and to fully surrender to it. She wanted to scream, to cast, to rend something asunder in her frustration and the chaotic nature of magic only added fuel to the flames. It wouldn't have changed anything though; Squall was still mysteriously knocked out and nothing worked.
In a fit of panic, she realized the only thing she hadn't tried yet was reaching him through their bond. Turning his upper body slightly towards her and cradling his face in her hands, she brought her forehead to his gently and fumbled desperately for contact.
There was... something. She could feel his presence, faint and distant, and behind a barrier neither of them could cross. She knew he couldn't feel her, yet could not explain how she did. Even so, what she needed now was for her thoughts to reach him, even if he could not reach back. Especially because he could not reach back. Somehow, she felt in her bones that it was of paramount importance, at this very moment, that he be made aware of how much he meant to her.
It was utterly nonsensical, and she couldn't even begin to make sense of this sudden impulse, but she wasn't about to question it now. So she did what had always worked for her so far and trusted her instincts.
Come back to me, please. I need you.
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A small, downy feather descended slowly between the beast and the knight, dancing and twirling on a breeze only it could feel. Griever instantly recoiled with a snarl, visibly flustered and putting distance between them, not wanting the feather to make contact with him on its whirling descent. Liquid warmth trailed down Squall's arms and back the second the lion's claws left his shoulders, but he didn't even notice, so enthralled by the familiar presence the frail feather carried with it.
Squall extended a trembling hand and the feather landed gently, perfectly in the middle of his palm. It was emitting a soft glow on its own, warm to the touch, comforting.
I love you.
His whole soul was unraveling, unspooled until it was hanging by a thread and he was barely able to keep it tethered to him. Overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions at once, he legitimately thought himself on the verge of passing out, which in other circumstances would have been rather comical since he was already unconscious. He closed his eyes, attempting to ground himself, to make sense of this madness, to breathe through his nose...
...To focus on Rinoa's voice.
She loved him. The simple, brutal honesty of that statement made his heart skip several beats and his eyes well up. The link they shared never left any place for deceit or doubt; and so she loved him. She loved him and in that moment he thought that for all she had given him, if he could somehow manage to give at least a fraction back, he'd be content. It would never be enough; he'd spend the rest of his life trying.
What he realized then was that despite that, he still desperately wanted to try. Was looking forward to it, longed for it even.
When he opened his eyes, the beast was on all fours, arms shaking and struggling not to collapse.
''I have grieved all my life. But... behind that grief was... enduring hope for something better. Even if it hurt. Hope is what made it hurt so much. I didn't even know what I was hoping for exactly... But now I do. It's her, it's them. It used to be easier, this... this whole facade. It's not anymore, I realize that. They didn't give up on me. I won't give up. There are so many things I want to experience for the first time...'' Squall curled his fingers over the feather, its warmth trailing up his arm and settling comfortably in his chest. He closed his eyes again, to better appreciate this newfound peace. ''And it feels like a second chance I've been given. I don't... I don't think I deserve it but I sure as hell will not squander it, will not let you ruin it. I am you. I am Griever. But I am so much more. Despite everything, I can be so much more... I want to be so much more.''
He opened his eyes again.
He was alone.
There was a deep rumble beneath Squall's feet, and he suddenly felt his whole body being jerked violently downward straight through the ground. He felt himself landing on his back heavily but suspected he hadn't really fallen, not unlike that strange free-falling feeling he sometimes experienced when on the verge of sleep. He sat up with a jolt, a wave of vertigo flooding him and blurring his vision momentarily. The world seemed to sway rapidly around him, as if catching up for the time he lost while in the nothingness of the void he'd been trapped in.
He finally realized that Rinoa was kneeling beside him and the golden eyes of her sorceress state blinded him briefly. Avoiding her intense gaze, he looked down to notice she was handing him his gunblade. The urge to embrace her and thank her was there but now was definitely not the time. So he grasped the weapon firmly, testing his strength on the handle before standing. Unsteady on his feet for a moment, he wasted no more time and joined Quistis and Zell's side with Rinoa flying next to him. Zell smirked, casting a quick side glance at his friend.
''You missing all the fun, dude.''
''Took you long enough.'' Quistis remarked. Squall half-smiled, his heart swelling with gratitude.
Griever was indeed on all fours, struggling to breathe, much like the last time Squall had seen him. Ultimecia lowered herself to the ground behind him, her face contorted in fury.
''Enough of this! I shall junction myself unto Griever. I will make you bleed, filthy wretches!''
She raised both her hands, and dark energy started accumulating between her palms. Griever roared defiantly, panic granting him a surge of strength as he desperately tried to crawl away from the sorceress. His behavior was a complete contrast to the powerful, confident foe he had proved himself to be since his arrival, and this worried Squall greatly.
There was a blinding flash as Griever and Ultimecia's bodies were no more. A dense ball of what could only be described as compressed darkness was rapidly spinning in their stead; arcs of purple lightning coursing through the air around it. The sphere gradually changed shape, becoming a strange black cocoon from which emerged a true monstrosity.
Ultimecia was encased in the lion's chest, in much the same way Rinoa had been when she was forcefully junctionned to Adel. Griever's mane and wings were now a mass of horns and spikes, trailing down over his back and ending on a scorpion-like tail. The beast's entire abdomen was open and exposed, showing overgrown ribs and pulsing organs. His arms were grotesquely misshapen, claws protruding haphazardly along their lengths. He lacked any kind of hind legs, instead crawling on mangled plates of armor and giant, fleshy finger-like appendages that twitched like an insect's. His face was frozen in a snarl, teeth fully bared, and he had only gaping holes where his silver eyes once were.
''What in Hyne's name...'' Quistis breathed out in horror. Irvine had a similar but stronger expletive.
On either side of the abomination that was now Ultimecia, two odd shaped cracks had appeared seemingly in the fabric of reality itself. Those two tears, shining and blinking with a metallic sheen, were indistinct and hard to focus on, but were continually suffusing magical energy into the sorceress.
There was no time for further shock; Ultimecia was already charging up a Holy spell. The group quickly focused back on the battle, with renewed vigor after getting their commander back. Zell and Selphie made sure they were all under Shell and Protect spells at all times, while Irvine and Quistis centered their attention on closing the amplifying rifts. Squall was actively damaging Griever's lifeless husk that now acted as a physical armor and Rinoa was casting powerful offensive spells at Ultimecia's fused body.
Ultimecia's attacks were vicious, but Squall was wary; she fought like a cornered animal and while they were doing fairly well staying on top of things, this was always the most dangerous moment in a battle. The astounding power of Rinoa's magic coursing through him had him feel nigh-invincible, but he knew overconfidence in the face of a foe who had nothing left to lose was always a recipe for disaster.
Yet when both of the magical rifts vanished and the lower half of Griever's body was all but gone, Squall was carefully hopeful. It did not take long before everyone was fighting the sorceress directly again, and with a flurry of lightning-quick slashes and bullets, Ultimecia's body seized up and writhed painfully. What was left of Griever had started disintegrating in chunks before melting away to nothing, and in front of all of them, laying on the ground wounded and maimed, was the frail naked body of Ultimecia.
Seeing her like this; unadorned, bare and looking so... human, Squall almost felt pity for her.
But then she looked up and fixed Squall with a stare of such pure deranged malice and hatred, he knew it would be something he'd remember for a long time, and he forgot all about pity. There was nothing human anymore in those eyes, only a poorly recreated facsimile, meant only to lure and manipulate. A second more and her eyes and mouth filled with light until it burst outward from her whole body, and she was suddenly gone.
There was a silent moment where everyone just processed what had just happened, before Irvine exhaled loudly. ''Is this it? ...This is it, right?''
Squall felt a deep unease in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. He turned to Rinoa, hovering above behind him, every muscle in her body taut and still ready to react at a second's notice.
''N o.'' She spoke with that flat, unearthly voice, almost like two different timbre speaking together.
In a blink, everything turned black.
The castle and the throne room and the statues; they all vanished. The dark blue void of the night sky and the full moon winked out of existence. It wasn't a complete darkness though; they could still see each other clearly, as if everybody emitted a soft light from within. They all jumped in surprise and reflexively crowded closer together, forming a tight circle to protect each other's backs and secure any blind spots. Rinoa hovered silently above them, her face impassive and inscrutable.
Several minutes passed where the only sounds were the clinks and noises of weapons and their own bated breaths.
''Right there, light!''
The group re-positioned next to Selphie, facing a growing pillar of light that pulsed and shimmered in a nauseating myriad of colors. From the black nondescript floor slowly emerged a creature so alien and otherworldly it was difficult for anyone to even comprehend. The massive being was humanoid, with sinewy violet arms of disproportionate length and long thin claws. Its body was split open in the middle, revealing tendrils of an unknown, pulsing crimson substance and an eye-like orb. From its shoulders, great blade-like appendages grew in a mockery of wings, thin, intricate and razor-sharp. Most striking of all was the lack of a face; where normal human features would normally be there was only a hollow cavity, housing a globe of yellowish light that shrank and grew intermittently, framed by large black wings and horns protruding from the back of its head.
''I am Ultimecia.'' Its voice boomed, devoid of any intonation or emotion and strangely metallic, the sphere inside its head pulsating with each word.
''Time shall compress-'' Its body was slowly ascending again, to the bewilderment of the group revealing the lifeless, upside-down body of what had once been Ultimecia. She was nestled deep in the leather-like flowing robes that the creature was wearing, bound tight by those same tendrils of blood-red material like an insect in a spider's web. Her own black feathered wings had been cruelly fractured and fastened in a knot around her chest. Her head and hair were dangling and swinging limply with each of the monster's movements, her eyes open and blank and completely dead.
''-all existence denied.''
Under the group's feet a massive sea of fire ignited as far as their eyes could see. They all jumped in a primal reflex to escape being burned, before quickly realizing that the inferno was oddly very far underneath them, and that whatever it was they were standing on was see-through.
As quickly as it had started, the blaze abated and died out, revealing behind it the shocking vastness of space; a multitude of stars and planets both massive and small, colorful gas clouds and comets, moons and satellites and galaxies and nebulae... It seemed they were all standing on some kind of invisible glass floor, extremely high up and somehow outside of the known universe, watching everything from incomprehensibly far away. The sensation was simply vertigo-inducing, and the implications too impossible to comprehend.
Imperceptibly at first, every celestial body started distorting and racing toward the blinking core of the monster-sorceress, quickly gaining speed and leaving shimmering trails and multiplying afterimages in their wake. The motion was nauseating to watch, the significance terrifying; this was the whole of the universe being absorbed and compressed before their very eyes, space and time torn to shreds and readily consumed.
Squall's ears were constantly ringing and hurting, his stomach had jumped in his throat, a cold wave of panic crashing over him. From a quick look around he noticed everybody seemed to be struggling just to stand in this impossible space where no living things were meant to exist. He heard a continuous string of curses from Zell, who was stumbling and couldn't keep his stance. Selphie was retching, Quistis and Irvine holding on to each other's arm to keep from falling. Even Rinoa seemed to struggle; she had landed and was trying to keep herself upright with her wings.
The monster-sorceress silently raised both her hands, closing them tightly into fists until a black liquid dripped from her palms, and an orange aura of magical energy engulfed her. Around everyone's feet a complex sigil blinked into life. Before anyone could even wonder its purpose, it began glowing red and in a flash, a pillar of crimson light impaled everyone simultaneously.
The spell had been quick, efficient and extremely powerful, lasting a second at most... but the effects were immediate. Simultaneously, the group crashed to the ground in agony, noses and ears bleeding, their muscles seizing up violently. A spell of this caliber was simply unheard of, and coupled with the harsh environment they were in, the group was caught dangerously off-guard. As Squall struggled to stand, he noticed with alarm that he was the only one still conscious, and Rinoa was nowhere to be seen.
But then a hand grasped the back of his jacket roughly and lifted him to his feet. Rinoa swooped down beside him, bruised and bloody but still in her sorceress state, and hurriedly started healing the whole party. The light in her eyes and her wings flickered with the effort, exhaustion catching up with her at the worst possible time. It wasn't perfect, but everyone was on their feet again, healthy enough to be casting their own curative spells. A short moment later and the whole team was back in the fight, trying to ignore the pounding in their heads and the universe completely unraveling beneath their feet.
When the creature-sorceress was enveloped with orange magical energy again, something odd caught Rinoa's eye. It seemed to be drawing and absorbing magic from Ultimecia's inert body below it. The sigil appeared again under everyone's feet but they were better prepared this time, though no one could get used to such a degree of pain; the burning of muscles from the inside and the acrid taste of sulfur on their tongue.
Rinoa was the first back up again, and she wasted no time. She knew they wouldn't be able to sustain much more of this magic before stamina was going to be an issue.
Caught as they were in the heat of battle and through the pain and exertion, she found she could only communicate with Squall the most simple and basic words through their bond. The need to be as fast as possible before enduring another one of those spells completely superseded any complex concepts.
Plan. No heal.
Go. I will.
She still found the time and energy to cast a Curaga spell on her knight, and a second later he was quickly reviving the rest of the group once again. The battle continued.
Meanwhile she targeted Ultimecia's corpse, throwing her arms forward and pooling all her remaining vigor to draw magic from it and bringing it into her through her open palms.
It easily connected. She could not believe it had worked.
She didn't have time to marvel at her luck, because the sheer volume of energy coursing through her whole body was almost too much right from the start. She knew with certainty that she had never before wielded such a frighteningly destructive spell. She could feel the primeval chaos of magic tirelessly attempting to corrupt and destroy her, wanting to consume everything. Every nerve in her body was set on fire and she bit back a scream. But she did not let go, drawing more and more still, needing the absolute most she could handle. Fortunately she only had to tame the magic long enough to cast it right back.
''Reflect on your childhood. Your sensations. Your words. Your emotions.'' The monster's voice resonated through their mind, the light in the hollow face rapidly blinking. Rinoa's forearms were burning up, the skin curling and sizzling as she tried to handle the spell's extremely volatile nature. Squall howled and crashed on his knees mid-attack, face contorted in agony and struggling to breathe as the debilitating pain Rinoa was feeling radiated to him through their bond. Whipping his head around to locate her, he yelled out her name in panic as he caught on to what she was doing. The rest of the group noticed in turn, Selphie casting a Regen spell on her and Irvine a Curaga. Quistis and Zell redoubled their efforts to keep the creature's attention on them.
''Time... It will not wait...'' The alien voice thundered on. Rinoa could not hold back the scream of desperation and anguish that escaped her lips. She could not feel her hands anymore, and she knew she wouldn't be able to contain the spell for much longer. But she had to reach her very limit, she had to make sure it would work, and she would not accept anything less. She could not fail.
''No matter... how hard you hold on. It escapes you... And-'' The monster-sorceress stopped speaking abruptly, slightly tilting its head in a disturbing replica of human confusion. It had noticed Rinoa when she screamed and turned toward her, with Squall kneeling between them. With the last of her energy, Rinoa pushed herself higher with a beat of her wings, aiming her mutilated palms toward the sorceress. Quistis, Irvine, Zell and Selphie were quickly putting as much distance as they could between them and their foe.
And finally Rinoa could let go.
The giant mystical sigil etched itself in the middle of the creature's body, parallel to the ground, giving the appearance of slicing its upper and lower half straight in the middle. A second later it ignited in a massive pillar of reddish light, piercing the monster-sorceress through the length of its upper body and igniting a fiery inferno in the process. The orb of yellow light grew as large as the cavity in which it resided and shone blindingly, an inhuman scream erupting throughout the vastness of the universe that shook the team to their cores. The metal wing-like appendages on its back started to droop and melt, pitch black liquid pouring from them in spurts. Its body convulsed and twitched violently, and the demonic scream intensified in pitch and desperation. For a moment, another more human and female scream joined in unison. Rinoa lowered her arms, bloody and blackened and smoking; she could not move or bend them any more, and as she collapsed to the ground heavily, utterly spent, wings slowly dissipating, she could only think:
Go, my knight.
The cold assertive tone of Rinoa in this state, so similar yet so different from the monster-sorceress, terrified Squall still but spurred him into action immediately. It was impossible for him to resist the demand of his sorceress, had he even wanted to at this moment. Reaching inside for the very last remnants of vitality he possessed, he stumbled into a desperate charge and screamed through gritted teeth. A blur of blue light trailed behind him as he slashed right through the abomination that had once been Ultimecia, barely managing to land upright a few feet behind it.
The creature-sorceress' body jerked violently and seized, an impossibly bright light erupting from its chest and head before it exploded in a formidable display of blazing colors and sent everyone flying backwards in a white void.
''T i m e w i l l n o t w a i t f o r y o u e i t h e r.'' Rinoa's toneless voice resonated faintly in the blinding abyss.
-------------------------------------------
''Is... is it over now?'' Irvine inquired cautiously, awkwardly getting to his feet and wiping his bloody nose. Everything was white and he couldn't see anybody else but in the oddest of ways... he felt them, sensed their presence near. ''Fuck I think it is! Everyone? Let's go! Back to our time!'' He shouted excitedly.
Zell was running through the void, hearing Irvine's voice all around him. ''Shut up! Just calm down and think where we have to go!'' He didn't know if his statement was directed at Irvine or himself as doubt and anxiety gnawed at him. What if something went wrong and he didn't make it back?
Selphie was trying to locate the others from the direction of their voice, but it seemed they came from all around her. She couldn't see them, but she knew they were there with her. ''Just... please be careful guys! Don't pick the wrong time!''
Quistis was rubbing her eyes and temples vigorously, trying to chase away her pounding headache, but she was otherwise unharmed. ''Whatever you do, do not fall into a bubble... time warp... thing!''
Rinoa was briskly walking through the white expanse, finally back to normal and strangely unharmed. The only remnants of her terrible ordeal were large wine-red patches along her hands and forearms. She flexed her fingers, twisted her wrists absent-mindedly, testing her joints and muscles.
''Time, place... who I want to be with...'' She mused aloud, then suddenly remembered and gasped. ''I want to go where Squall and I promised!'' She looked around, not feeling Squall's presence among their friends. Reflexively she grasped her necklace, gently toying with his ring and her mother's.
''Squall...?'' She cried out, beginning to worry.
-------------------------------------------
In a black void reminiscent of his encounter with Griever, Squall kept walking forward with his arms in front of him to try and feel for any obstacles, anything that might inhabit this dark nothingness. But he was going absolutely nowhere, for all he knew he could be walking on a treadmill and it wouldn't have made a difference. He couldn't believe he was back in this place, because Griever was dead, wasn't he? Despite this certainty, he couldn't help glancing nervously all around him, anxious to spot two silver orbs of light in the distance once again.
(Is this normal? Where is everyone? ...Where am I!?)
Squall! Let's go home! Where are you!?
Rinoa's distressed voice in his mind was both a blessing and, as he discovered soon enough, a curse.
He couldn't answer her. Something was wrong with their bond yet again. Or rather, something was wrong with where he was right now, most definitely.
(I... I have to go back to the orphanage. Rinoa will be there. How do I... do I just... think about it? Nothing's happening!)
Before he could properly panic though, a voice echoed in the darkness behind him.
''Squall! Where are you going!?''
''Rin-?''
It wasn't Rinoa. But it was a gentle voice, a voice he instantly recognized but couldn't quite place, with a hint of authority hidden behind the kindness right now. He whipped around, puzzled...
...And came face to face with his four year old self.
Eyes wide in shock, he could only stare as his younger self darted past him, all unkempt hair and oversized frayed shirt, paying no attention whatsoever to the strange man in his path.
''I'm gonna go and find Sis!!'' He yelled with a resolve and conviction only children possessed. As if Ellone was just around the corner. As if it was all simple and the world wasn't this vast, cruelly chaotic place where orphaned children were sent to military schools.
''Squall, please!'' That voice once more, and when Squall turned again, he was dumbfounded to find a younger Edea standing there, in her delicate flowing dress, and the sudden sight uncorked such deeply buried emotions that his eyes welled up instantly.
Gradually, the darkness lifted, like the sun slowly rising in a clear morning sky. He was at the orphanage. Everything was intact and pristine. It was a fresh summer morning, the songs of birds and buzz of insects almost loud enough to cover the sound of crashing waves not too far off. The flagstone path was overgrown with deep green weeds and dandelions, the stone columns of the courtyard covered with lush ivy vines. It smelled of life and warmth and possibilities.
(...This can't be happening. How did I end up here? No, I'm... supposed to be here, but this isn't the right time! It's... it's way too far back!)
Edea walked over to him, a soft smile on her lips, exasperation and fondness both apparent in her expression. ''Excuse me, have you seen a little boy run through here, perhaps?'' There was no spark of recognition in her eyes. Squall reminded himself that this had probably happened nearly fifteen years ago, and an overwhelming feeling of wrongness, of being utterly out of place, bloomed in his gut.
Squall blinked back tears, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat.
''You... you don't have to worry. That boy won't go anywhere.'' He found himself saying, and a voice in the back of his mind warned him, screamed at him that all of this was wrong. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be speaking with her. If this was truly the past then there were so many things wrong with just his presence that he couldn't even begin to fathom the consequences.
(But this can't be the past for real, right? Ellone said so herself; you cannot change it. But... Matron sees me, she's talking with me... I am really here, in my own body, with her. With... my younger self. Ellone was never able to do that.)
Edea laughed lightly, but it was a laughter full of sadness, if ever there was such a thing. ''I think so, too.'' She sighed heavily. ''Still, poor thing...'' She said quietly, looking in the direction the young Squall had run off to.
(Yeah. Poor thing.)
There was a low rumble, like distant thunder, and a cloud of violet mist suddenly materialized behind Edea, whirling in on itself rapidly. As it slowly dissipated, a horned silhouette with great black wings emerged, limping and stumbling pathetically towards them.
''Ultimecia... you're still alive!?'' Squall exclaimed, completely astonished. His gunblade was already in his hands, his stance ready for combat the second the sorceress showed any kind of hostile intent.
''...A sorceress?'' Edea asked calmly, not particularly bothered by the strange turn of events in the backyard of her own orphanage.
''Yes, Matron.'' Was Squall's short reply, the name flowing out automatically. He hadn't called her Matron in so long but somehow, seeing her like this, seeing her back then, the word slipped out effortlessly. ''We've... just defeated her.'' He added, never taking his eyes off Ultimecia.
She was slowly approaching them, her eyes darting from left to right frantically, her face covered in a sheen of sweat and a deranged half-smile on her painted lips.
''...SeeD-knight, I've come... to make good on that... promise...'' She spoke between laborious breaths, grinning up at Squall.
''Matron, please, stand back.'' Squall warned.
''It's okay. There's no need to fight anymore.'' Edea explained. She turned toward Squall, completely ignoring the approaching sorceress. ''That sorceress is just looking for someone to pass her powers on to. In order to die in peace, a sorceress must be free of all her powers. The magic chooses its next host, but will not turn from a willing one. I know this... for I am one too.''
Ultimecia had stopped her slow advance, looking at Edea with a sudden apprehension.
''I shall take that sorceress' powers. I would not wish one of the children to become one.'' Edea turned to Ultimecia confidently, even taking two steps forward. Panting from the simple act of walking, Ultimecia swiped at the air in a feeble attempt to keep Edea at a distance.
''No! Stand back! I... can't... disappear yet...'' She wheezed, coughing a few droplets of blood onto her chin. ''No!'' She repeated, frantic, as she began hovering in the air, her arms raising high above her head of their own accord while she thrashed pointlessly. Violet magical energy started arcing from both her hands and grew in intensity.
''Matron!'' Squall yelled in alarm. But it was too late, the arcing bolts sought and connected with Edea, and the force of the blast had Squall recoiling, protecting his eyes with his arm. The transfer of power was complete in a matter of seconds, and when the blinding flashes of light subsided Squall only had a moment to discern Ultimecia's motionless body on the ground, quickly breaking up in a cloud of whirling violet smoke.
He had seen this otherworldly exchange play out before, twice actually. Only it had been between Edea and Rinoa, right before she fell into a coma, and then once again between Adel and Rinoa. It wasn't any less terrifying to witness a third time.
Edea teetered dangerously and Squall was by her side in an instant, catching her shoulder to soften the fall as she slowly went down on her knees, trembling. She put a hand on his shoulder in turn, trying to keep from collapsing further.
''Is this... the end?'' She whispered weakly, her voice hoarse and trying to catch her breath. And Squall wondered what exactly she meant by this strange question.
(...I don't know. Hyne, I really hope so.)
''...Most likely.'' Was Squall's simple reply.
''You called me... Matron. Who... are you?'' She tightened her grip on his shoulder, giving him a searching look and Squall had the odd impression that the question was futile because she already knew.
''A... SeeD.'' He purposefully avoided the true meaning of her question. ''A SeeD from Balamb Garden.''
''SeeD? Garden?'' She repeated, visibly confused.
''Yes... Both Garden and SeeD were your ideas.'' Squall explained matter-of-factly. ''Garden trains SeeDs. SeeDs are trained to defeat sorceresses.'' He added, now also confused.
Slowly Edea got back to her feet, and the look of disquiet she gave Squall made him feel sick, a gut-wrenching angst gnawing at his stomach that threatened to engulf him. It hit him then, like a blow to the ribs that knocked the wind out of his lungs.
(...Gardens aren't established yet. SeeDs don't exist. Of course. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!)
''...What are you saying?'' Realization struck her in turn then, her eyebrows knitting together in concern and though she could not be aware of the exact scope of Squall's blunder, she seemed to catch on that something here was very, very wrong. Looking him up and down carefully, Squall could pinpoint the exact second she had known for certain just who he was. When her eyes met his again, she inhaled forcefully, her head tilted slightly to the side as if to say: What have you done?
The screaming voice at the back of Squall's head from earlier was telling him to shut up, and damned if he normally did listen to it but for this one time. This one time where it absolutely mattered, but it was too late.
''...Squall?'' She asked guardedly, voice wavering with emotion. It wasn't quite a question, the way she spoke his name like a sword hanging by a thread over his head, a feeling of impending doom they were now both sharing at the same time.
''Matron...'' He said quietly, brokenly, a plea in the way he whispered her name. He wasn't sure for what or why. A childish remnant of running to an adult so they could solve all your problems magically.
The ramifications of his mistake dizzied and nauseated him, the consequences so great and terrible he had no idea where to start.
(Edea... Headmaster Cid... they knew. Because of this. Because of-)
He had an epiphany then, eyes wide and heart skipping several beats, realizing, unbelieving. His mind going a mile a minute as it unraveled the entirety of his life up to this point.
(...I am the messenger sleeping in the garden. It's all because of me. The creation of Garden... SeeDs... Cid having high expectations of me... being strongly guided into choosing a Gunblade specialization... Hyne... he... Fuck, telling me it was my fate and destiny to lead the way in defeating the sorceress... appointing me Commander...)
Squall's head was swimming, a deep unshakable panic obstructing all rational thought, the gravity of the situation making his hands visibly shake. The grave understanding that his whole life had been carefully orchestrated to produce this specific outcome, that seemingly no choice had ever truly been his own was just so fantastical and insane he could almost laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all. The truth was he wanted to scream, to run, to wink out of existence. His mind was blank, his brain fried, he felt utterly hollow and numb. He couldn't breathe, was choking up on what little air seemed to pass his lips. Closing his eyes, he crossed his arms to try and ground himself but all he could feel was the pins and needles in his fingers and face and a heavy, steel-like cold spreading in his chest.
Edea's hand on his cheek brought him back from the brink of passing out. His eyes shot open and through the tunnel-vision he focused on her face; the sympathy in her eyes, the way her lips trembled with emotion.
''It's really you...'' She breathed out, mouth agape and momentarily stunned. ''What a fine young man you've become...'' She smiled but a tear rolled down her cheek slowly. ''It's okay. Try to take deep breaths.''
''Matron... I... I think I messed up. I'm sorry.'' Squall choked out, his shoulders slumping and just now feeling so, so tired and old.
''No. It's okay.'' She whispered soothingly, her thumb softly wiping away a tear Squall hadn't even realized had escaped beneath his eye. ''That sorceress...''
''Ultimecia.'' Squall finally provided following Edea's pause. Because at this point, why not? The damage had been done and there was no turning back. His fate had already been cemented the moment he had been born.
''Ultimecia was fairly proficient in time and space magic, was she not?''
Squall nodded with a short derisive laugh, as this really was quite the understatement.
''Having received her powers... I think I understand what has happened. It's not going to be easy for you...'' She caught herself then, and tried again; ''I mean, it must not have been easy for you.''
Another contender for the understatement of the year. Somewhere, behind the rapidly cracking mask of precarious impassivity Squall still tried to hold on to, he knew he should be furious. At Edea and Cid, mostly. At himself, definitely. And it all came back around to this, didn't it? Continuously hating himself for most of his life had solved nothing, had never helped whatsoever, yet now it felt like the only thing he truly had control on. As of now though, he felt so drained, so detached and dissociated from his own mind and body he couldn't even find in him the strength to turn to old habits.
''I should be the one apologizing...'' Edea went on, oblivious to Squall's silent mental breakdown. ''If nothing else, and for what it's worth... please remember that I am sorry. For everything that's happened to you.'' She lowered her hand from his cheek and wiped her own tears away. Squall could only stare dumbly, all words and emotions having left him.
''But you have to return. You do not belong here.'' Edea ordered softly, clearing her throat. Before she could speak further, a younger Squall had run back to her side, hiding in the folds of her flowy dress and wiping his puffy eyes.
''...I can't find Sis. Am I... all alone now?'' He muttered, sniffling. His eyes set on the older Squall then, and he instantly straightened up, furrowing his brow in mistrust. ''Who's he?'' he demanded, wiping his nose.
A cold shiver ran down Squall's spine when their eyes locked. The same frigid, stormy grey-blue eyes that, even back then, analyzed the world warily, suspiciously, harshly. How many people could claim to have stood face to face with their younger self?
(Why can't I remember... this?)
It had to be the Guardian Forces' fault, again. Taking up considerable space in his brain and eating up his past, one memory at a time. Had that been the plan all along? To make him forget ever seeing this strange young man who would later turn out to be... himself? Had Edea been scared that him knowing about his fate would somehow change it along the way? There were so many questions that bubbled up to the surface and each of them birthed even more in a veritable cascade of confusion in Squall's mind.
Edea turned to the little boy and squatted down, her eyes level with his. ''Nobody. You don't need to know.'' She replied, rearranging his messy hair lovingly. ''The only Squall permitted here is you.'' She added quietly, and something in the way she said it broke the older Squall's heart, a familiar feeling of rejection he couldn't suppress despite her being absolutely right.
Standing up, she faced the older Squall again, and the look she was giving him was equal parts sympathy and resolve.
''Do you know where to go back to? Do you know how?'' She took a step toward him, hesitantly putting a hand on his arm.
''I thought I did.''
''I think I can help you return. I can... send you into time. But you have to make the journey on your own. Will you be alright by yourself?'' Her eyes were boring into his, full of a kind of love Squall had all but completely forgotten. It was too much. Taking a step back, he stood at attention and performed the SeeD salute, nodding once and avoiding her eyes. His lips quivered slightly but he pursed them, attempting to gather himself as best he could even though his whole understanding of the world and his place in it was slipping from his grasp like fine sand.
(I'll... I'll be alright, Matron.)
His surroundings froze like a movie on pause; the crashing waves of the sea, the singing of birds and insects suddenly muted as slowly, gently, Edea's form faded away and a now familiar darkness enveloped him. Squall took a deep breath, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat. A strange quietude then overtook him, and though it might have been from shock he was still glad to be able to organize his thoughts somewhat rationally again.
(I'm not by myself anymore.)
His friends, and Rinoa. Despite everything, nothing changed the experiences and emotions they had all shared. The hardships, the battles, the laughter, the tears... The feelings remained the same, fated destiny or not. It was real. Squall wondered if this was in fact the only thing that was real, the only thing that mattered.
(...I'm not alone. If I call out, they will answer.)
''Where is everyone?'' He thought aloud, the darkness weighing on his back. He turned around on his heels, moving to and fro hectically, trying to spot something, any movement.
''Rinoa! Where are you?'' His voice echoed jarringly, the words bouncing back to him until they were an unrecognizable, jumbled mess. It didn't do that the last time he was stuck in this place, and Squall wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing.
''Zell! Selphie! Quistis! Irvine!'' He yelled desperately, but was again met with only the echoes of his own voice as a reply.
(This can't be happening. This can't- We were supposed to-)
Inhaling nervously, he tried concentrating on Rinoa and sending a simple mental ping through their bond.
Nothing.
Anger swept through him like a sudden hurricane then. Balling his fists and gritting his teeth, he let out a strangled scream of frustration.
''This was supposed to work!'' He yelled into the void, throwing his arms up in a fit of rage. ''Love and friendship... It was all bullshit? After everything, this is how it ends!? Why the hell did I ever believe any of this! Why do I fall for the same trick every-fucking-time!''
The void was unmoving, silent, uncaring.
(...Am I all alone again?)
He let out a long shuddering sigh, onto which all of the fury and resentment left his body at once, as quick as it had appeared. All that was left was a suffocating notion of guilt and shame. He broke into a sudden run, wishing this would somehow work at getting himself out of this empty hell and absolve him of his feelings. But nothing changed.
He stumbled and fell to his hands and knees.
''Rinoa... I need to hear your voice.'' He whispered brokenly.
(Which way... do I go? I can't make it back...)
(Where... am I?)
(Please, Rinoa...)