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The first time Ronan notices how weird Adam Parrish actually is around other people is at one night at Nino’s. Squeezed in between Blue and Noah with flushed cheeks and shaky hands, always so composed around others when it’s evidently written on his face how much he tries to keep his own space.
Sometimes Ronan wonders if he’s the only one awake. Seeing people for what they really are or if he’s just too caught up in his mind for everything else to go by in a twist. It’s the first time he sees Parrish flinch when Blue raises her voice a bit too much, but he doesn’t think anyone else saw.
It comes with a pained expression on his face, fades with a careful, self-conscious laugh.
Underneath the surface it makes Ronan cringe, his heart clench in a way he knows it shouldn’t. The mild curiosity lingering in the quiet of the room; has the relationship with his father fucked him up this much? Is that what it does to him?
It’s not the only time it happens. Maybe he’s too bejeweled by the idea, too caught up by seeing it and maybe he imagines it too many times, but Adam Parrish flinches a lot around other people.
When they touch him, get too close without him noticing, especially since he can’t always tell; bad ear and all. Watching from afar, it’s painful, really. Seeing a boy so pure and absolutely innocent, bribed by an event made to bruise him forever. In many different ways.
It’s one evening at the Barns when Ronan Lynch decides to call him out on it because he fairly refuses to sit through another night of him being moreover uncomfortable around their friends. Understandable somehow that he doesn’t say anything, lets it go as easily as it comes. Still a burning expression underneath it all.
“When are you gonna tell them that you don’t like being touched?” Ronan asks, simple and quick. And it’s too late to go back now.
His heart is loud and clear in the shell of his ears as Adam gives him a confused look, eyebrows furrowed and blue eyes reflecting all kinds of emotions at once. Being caught in the goddamn act on top of them all.
He sucks in his bottom lip before even speaking up,
“Well, technically.. my body doesn’t. I really do.” Oh. Adam exhales in a way that seems far too soft for a conversation like this.
Ronan looks away then, breaks eye contact completely and tries to row back in any way by repressing their little chat. After all, he shouldn’t have asked. That’s why he still lets them touch him. God, does he hate it.
“So you rather twitch every single time before even telling them that it stresses you out?” He finally says after a quiet moment. “They’d be the last people on earth who wouldn’t understand and you know it.”
Their eyes lock again for a second. Perhaps it’s the smooth and warming look hidden in Adam’s eyes that made Ronan fall in love with him in the first place. The cozy feeling that rips open every vulnerable wound on his body. A person so satisfyingly gorgeous it punches every ounce of air out of his lungs, all the goddamn time.
“Yeah, I know.” Adam answers, and it’s stupid.
“They’d touch you in a softer way if you asked for it, too.” It’s a whisper into the quiet room.
Audibly, he hears Adam take in a breath and it stays right there. Stuck in his throat- contemplating to continue speaking-
“Soft, how?” It’s a challenge and Ronan coughs up a dry laugh. It’s stupid, stupid, stupid. Unfortunately, he is, too.
This time, he doesn’t look away. Holds his gaze right there until the forest around them catches fire and burns brightly with them. He stands there and waits for nothing in particular, but maybe Parrish to back down.
The thing is; Ronan Lynch never touches him in the first place. Which is why it makes things so interesting, probably. Possibly. He doesn’t know. He knows jack shit, now that he thinks about it. It’s weird, really, when it comes to Adam Parrish. Makes him question all his principles just by existing in the first place.
Ronan holds out one hand and Adam takes it almost immediately. He pulls him in just the slightest.
“Like this for example.” He squeezes his hand once, maybe twice before dragging his hand over his skin barely even touching- Ronan steadies him with another gentle press of fingers- tries to ignore the sound of Parrish’s breath hitching- before drawing him in slowly. He’s painting a map right on his skin and it feels so natural, so good to him.
Adam, on the opposite doesn’t wince or flinch this time, because he knows exactly that it’s coming when Ronan Lynch wraps his arms around him.
“Didn’t freak you out, did it?” Ronan murmurs into his good ear and pretends he doesn’t see the goosebumps rising above his skin. It coils deep inside his guts so he simply keeps going. Traces the skin of his neck, every inch of skin he can reach goes soft under his touch. Adam right with it.
It makes Ronan cringe on the inside, because he’s never been this gentle with anybody nor with himself. And then heaven sends him this.
Someone who makes him crumble from his highest horses. Someone who makes him want to raise hell if he ever gets hurt. Sadly, he’s been hurt before which makes the whole point of this scenery.
Ronan coughs as he backs off.
“Yeah,” He doesn’t look at him, because he knows for a fact Adam would be just as flushed as he is. “just tell them, Parrish.”
“Maybe I’ll just tell them to let me initiate it. It’s always okay then.” Adam admits.
Ronan looks up and meets icy blue eyes with a smile. Just as suspected, his cheeks are tinted with the sweetest tone of red he’s seen in a while on his skin.
“Is that so?”
Adam nods then- his heart so loud once again, pounding heavily- as he reaches out and doesn’t even hesitate before kissing Ronan. And Ronan lets him. He would let him a million fucking times.