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Meetings at the SM building are frequent during album or concert preparations, even when not scheduled. It’s nothing novel for Donghyuck or Jisung to be woken up early in the morning by a call from a manager informing them of an impromptu meeting. Usually, the members still living in the dream dorm will line up to the bathroom dorm and wait for their turn in the shower. When everyone is ready, they’ll get inside a van and join Mark and Donghyuck in one of the rooms and wait for the executives or creative team to join them.
Considering they just finished the Seoul shows and are about to embark on their international journey, it’s not surprising that the team would want to have a last-minute meeting before the group departs for Japan.
That’s how it usually goes.
Today is different. Jisung gets woken up by a call from a manager like usual and he tumbles out of bed after disentangling himself from his earbuds cord. He fell asleep on facetime with Donghyuck last night and he wakes up almost strangled, but he’ll do it again if it means falling asleep with his boyfriend.
There’s no line to the bathroom because Renjun isn’t hogging the shower and Jaemin isn’t in the kitchen making a quick breakfast before they leave, which means that they’re still sleeping. Which means that Jisung is the only one awake. It’s odd, to say the least, but Jisung doesn’t bother really. He knows it can sometimes take him a while to wake up and get ready so maybe the manager just called him early to make sure Jisung would be good to go by the time he shows up.
Except that Jisung showers and heats up some leftovers from last night and he’s still the only one up. Jisung is slowly coming to the conclusion that he will be going to that meeting alone. He has not been to a meeting by himself since he messed up his leg a couple of years ago. It’s a bit nerve-wracking, because he has no idea what he could be going for. Maybe he posted something on bubble or kwangya that wasn’t appropriate? Or what if he said something bad to a staff and he’s getting reprimanded for it?
See, Jisung is a very anxious person when he’s by himself. With the other boys, he has people to lean on or hide behind whenever the anxiety and stress get too much. He knows he can rely on his members to pick up on his mood and either comfort him or take the spotlight away from him so he can regroup and calm down. But alone, he’s completely exposed for everyone to see. It’s not like having a solo in a song. When he’s on stage, the adrenaline and excitement take over and make him a different person. He’s confident in his ability to perform in front of a crowd, not so much in front of business people. He can’t really charm them with his boyish look and awkwardness like he would with fans.
He feels himself spiralling when the front door of the dorm suddenly opens to reveal his manager. They greet each other and the manager motions him to come. Now, Jisung is sure neither Jeno, Jaemin nor Renjun will be accompanying him to the company. He puts on his shoes, jacket and hat and follows his manager out of the dorm and into the elevator. It’s like he’s on autopilot, following without thinking, as they exit the elevator into the underground parking lot and into the company van.
The other boys not leaving with him is surprising. Donghyuck waiting for him in the car, without Mark, is even more. There’s no reason for the both of them to be called into the same meeting, unless… Unless the company somehow found out about them dating and they’re about to be kicked out. Or even worse: dispatch found out and is threatening to expose them unless SM pays them off or something. Both scenarios are equally as bad in Jisung’s head.
Donghyuck probably notices how stressed Jisung is by the constipated look on his face, but he can’t really do anything in front of the manager except send him a small smile. It does nothing to reassure Jisung so he opts to sit right next to Donghyuck despite all the other seats being empty. If Donghyuck didn’t want Jisung to sit next to him, he would have sat in the front passenger seat, not the back row.
“Good morning, Jisung-ah.”
It’s a simple greeting and, even though he had heard Donghyuck’s voice not even 6 hours prior to this moment when they were on facetime, it still feels comforting.
The ride to the company is short, but Jisung spends it torn between wanting to lean on Donghyuck’s shoulder and cautiously observing the manager in the driver's seat. He doesn’t want anyone to suspect anything because they’ve never really been the closest. To fans and most staff, Jisung’s affection is hard to earn and he openly dislikes displaying it for everyone to see. However, it’s no secret that he’s closest to Chenle. So, even if he is a fan of cuddles behind closed doors, those are strictly reserved for Donghyuck. This car doesn’t offer the privacy he would like, so he sits stiffly beside Donghyuck.
His boyfriend notices this because he notices everything about him. Donghyuck knows that when Jisung is amused, he scrunches up his nose and snorts, even if he doesn’t smile or laugh. When he’s angry, he breathes in and out slowly and clenches his fists by his side. And when he’s stressed… Donghyuck knows to look out for the empty stares and twitchy fingers, or the way he plays with his ring. Just like right now.
He can’t really do anything in the van, so Donghyuck just looks up to check the rearview mirror. The manager is busy focusing on the road and it seems like the angle it’s pointed at doesn’t even show anything except their faces. So he risks taking Jisung’s hand into his and lacing their fingers together.
Jisung’s hands are so much bigger than Donghyuck’s, and his fingers are longer, but it still feels like they fit together in a way Donghyuck doesn’t understand. Jisung is just so much bigger and taller and broader that his presence becomes all-encompassing whenever the two of them are alone. Donghyuck feels the safest when he’s in Jisung’s arms because he’s so real and solid against him. He wants Jisung to feel the same way he does so he picks up where Jisung can’t. Where Jisung is all subtle touches and actions, Donghyuck is bold words and embraces. But in this car, the possibilities are limited. All he can do is squeeze Jisung’s hand in his and send him a small smile. They’re in this together, after all.
***
The SM building is cold and empty when they enter. There’s no visitors yet because of the early hour and only the employee of the café are present right now. The SM atrium has always been too big for what it truly is. But it’s not like any of the SM artists ever hang out. Good for the fans if they want to visit the café and spend an exorbitant amount of money on overpriced coffee and ‘artist’s favorites’.
The meeting offices are on the fifth floor and their manager accompanies them all the way to the door before going his own way. It makes Jisung freak out a bit, because managers have always been included in their meetings in the past. There’s something about this meeting, something different neither of them have ever been confronted with and god, Jisung thinks he might just shit himself in front of the team they’re going to meet.
The meeting room is small, smaller than what they would use if they were there as a full group for promotion talks. The other seats are already filled with people in formal wear so Donghyuck has to sit close to Jisung on his side of the table, their thighs touching under the table. It’s easy to hide their affection in a room like this because the tables are big and Donghyuck has a habit of slouching in his seat, no matter the circumstances. Corporate doesn’t deserve his effort to hold himself straight, especially not at this hour of the day.
Donghyuck allows himself to lean back in his chair and grabs Jisung’s hand before resting them between his thighs. He draws small circles on the back of his hand to remind his boyfriend that they’re in this together.
“Good morning, thank you for meeting with us on such short notice,” one of the women speaks up. Short notice? more like no notice.
“This will be a quick meeting, you’ll be free to leave right after,” a man speaks up this time.
Quick meeting means they basically have no say in what is about to go down right now, but they nod their heads to show that they’re listening.
“Alright, so following the concert, one of our social media interns has noticed a certain… enthusiasm if you will, for the two of you together. It seems like fans have enjoyed the small interactions you have during slower songs like puzzle piece and we want to capitalize on it.”
Ah, yes. The big C word. SM has capitalized on their entire lives already, now they want to capitalize on their interactions too, on their relationship (although they wouldn’t know about that part).
“We want you to amp it up a bit, play it up so that fans keep being excited for the performances and look forward to your interactions together on stage. Donghyuck-ssi, you’re known as someone who is really affectionate while Jisung-ssi is the opposite. We think we could gain some traction with interactions between such people,” the last woman in the room finally explains.
Donghyuck almost scoffs at the woman’s description of them. If only they knew.
Jisung clears his throat and Donghyuck squeezes his hand, “So, if I understand correctly you want us to act like we’re closer on stage so that people will keep believing we are close?”
The people nod at him. How is Jisung supposed to tell them that they are close, just not publicly affectionate? This isn’t even a question of dating or anything like that. They’ve always been close. They literally grew up together and debuted together. Not being physically close doesn’t take away from that. Jisung wants to say something, but Donghyuck gives his hand a warning squeeze before turning to him.
“If it’s for the fans we’ll do it, right Jisung-ie?” Donghyuck punctuates his question with a hard squeeze of Jisung’s cheek as a show for corporate. A teaser if you will.
It seems to satisfy the higher-ups and the two of them are dismissed.
***
Before they know it, NCT Dream is flying to Japan for the next leg of the tour.
Jisung and Donghyuck sit beside each other the whole flight to discuss what to do with the strange request they got from corporate. The conversation is mostly Donghyuck suggesting things and Jisung going along with anything his boyfriend says because it seems like an amazing opportunity to get closer in a kind of inconspicuous way.
Now, they’re not stupid. They know fans will notice them suddenly acting like they’re best friends after years of almost avoiding each other. Their best bet is Donghyuck saying Jisung is his new favourite person to bother because of his reaction. It’s similar to when he would be attached to Renjun just to annoy him. That lasted for a bit until Jisung quietly got jealous and finally confessed to Donghyuck. So what if he wanted all of Donghyuck’s attention to himself? Jisung is just a simple man after all.
They’re ushered out of the airport and straight to the first venue without even being able to catch a break. Rehearsals start right when they get there and they just go from song to song one after the other. When they get to section where they sit down to perform the medley puzzle piece is part of, Jisung and Donghyuck sit by each other. It’s not different, because they’re in the same order they had been during the prior shows in Seoul, but this time Donghyuck tries to get his hands all over Jisung. The younger doesn’t say anything and lets him try whatever he wants.
All in all, things go well for rehearsals. Donghyuck clings to Jisung during the practice for puzzle piece and candy, but still goes around the other guys to pester them. That way, they won’t be suspicious of how the two of them are acting.
They only get to talk about it when they finally reach their hotel. All the members get separate rooms where they can change out of their sweaty clothes and shower, but most of them pair off to do god knows what. Jisung, being the homebody he is, lies about staying in his room before he’s texting Donghyuck to come over. Donghyuck pretends he’s too tired to do anything and none of the others protest because… understandable.
It doesn’t take long before Donghyuck is sliding under the sheets of Jisung’s hotel bed, cuddling up to his side. This is pretty much his favourite part of the day, no matter the setting or circumstances. Being able to be this close to someone he loves after such a long and hard day feels even more rewarding for some reason.
No matter how much time they’ve spent apart, Donghyuck always finds himself falling back onto Jisung when it’s time to let the idol persona go. And Jisung has mentioned time and time again to him that his favourite Donghyuck, the one he fell in love with, is the bare-faced and lazy version of the idol.
When they’re promoting together, Donghyuck often stays at the dorm to facilitate transport and it just so happens that the spare bed is in Jisung’s room. Donghyuck will slip into bed with him, lay his head on his chest with his arm wrapped around his middle and tangle their legs together. Jisung doesn’t mind that his boyfriend drools in his sleep, not when they’re chest to chest in the privacy of his bedroom.
It’s pretty much no different when they’re travelling, except it is. The schedules are much tighter and stricter, more unforgiving. They can’t get too wild during their downtime, because they have to be mindful of what they’ll have to do the day after. It doesn’t mean they don’t get lost in each other, just that they’re more careful about it. Bruised lips are easy to gloss over, especially with Donghyuck’s new obsession with haidilao. But hickeys or scratch marks are a bit trickier to explain.
“Do you think the fans will actually like it?” Donghyuck asks Jisung when they break away for air.
Jisung has trouble focusing on the words his boyfriend speaks because he’s busy staring at his cherry-red lips, puffy from the intense makeout session that Donghyuck just decided to interrupt.
Donghyuck bites back a smirk before pressing a finger under Jisung’s chin to bring his gaze up, “eyes are up here, pretty boy.”
Jisung fights back the urge to look back down. He looks into Donghyuck’s eyes for any sign of doubt about what they’re about to pull off, but finds none. It helps Jisung make up his mind.
“The fans will eat that shit up.”
***
Jisung was right. The fans absolutely love the new interactions between the two of them. They cautiously ramp it up one show after the other, going from holding hands to looking at each other lovingly. At one stop, Donghyuck pats the ground between his legs so Jisung will sit in front of him. The younger pretends to be shy about it, but the two of them know that this is just a common occurrence… broadcasted for millions of people to see.
Eventually, they’re back in Seoul for the encore shows. But before that, they’re called back to the SM room where it all started.
“Sorry for the late notice meeting. We know you’re both incredibly busy with the encore preparation, but we’ve received a call from dispatch.”
The woman speaking is one of those that were in the initial meeting. She looks aggravated by whatever news she’s about to drop on them. Anything from dispatch is always either career-making or career-breaking, depending on the level of backlash the subjects receive.
That same woman clears her throat, “So dispatch… One of our contacts said they have been working on an article. You know they love those new years couple breaking news? Well, they want to go even bigger. They’ve been following your tour closely and enjoyed whatever show you’ve been putting on a little too much. They want to release an exposé about your secret relationship.”
Jisung knows there’s no proof of them even dating except whatever content they’ve voluntarily released or the moments created on stage during puzzle piece, but still, he feels his stomach drop down.
Beside him, Donghyuck sits up straight to protest, “they can’t do that!”
The other people also look annoyed, “they know. We’ve threatened to sue for defamation and they said they don’t care. They would be releasing an article based purely on speculations to create buzz and encourage people to draw their own conclusion. Obviously, we don’t want to be associated with that. We’re asking you to go back how you were before we originally met you guys. Hopefully, it will make dispatch back off from releasing their piece when they realize it was all part of the show.”
Donghyuck and Jisung don’t have any other choice but to agree.
***
The first two days of encore are weird. Donghyuck has to consciously refrain from falling into Jisung’s orbit and Jisung has to pretend like it doesn’t bother him when Jaemin cuddles up to him instead of his boyfriend.
Instantly, the fans start speculating online. Some start asking questions on their bubbles and instagram lives, which they all pointedly ignore in favour of casual conversation. Obviously, they cannot say anything about why they suddenly changed the way they were previously acting.
Normally, it wouldn’t change anything. This was all for show after all and their relationship was the same as it was before. But in reality, Jisung found himself missing his boyfriend even more now that he had had a taste of what could be if they just acted like they were in love in public instead of just behind closed doors.
It’s not that Donghyuck is avoiding him per se, but he’s really careful about where he moves and how he touches him when they’re close to each other on stage. He won’t even look at him during puzzle piece anymore.
On the third day, Jisung thinks he might actually go crazy. They sit down when the first chords of puzzle piece start resonating through the stadium and it feels like donghyuck is light years away from him even though they’re barely a couple of inches shy of their shoulders touching.
Jisung only has a minute to catch Donghyuck’s attention since the song is short, so he grabs Donghyuck’s hand.
His boyfriend looks at him in surprise, because they’re not supposed to be doing anything of the sort, per corporate’s order. But Jisung will be damned if he can’t do this one thing.
He looks into Donghyuck’s eyes and sees the world. He sees what could be of them, despite the warnings and threats. To hell with whatever dispatch and management and the public thinks. As much as Jisung loves performing in front of an audience, he has found that he loves loving Donghyuck openly ten times more. It’s not hard to find resolve when the person you love the most on the entire planet looks at you like you hold the key to the universe in the palm of your hands.
So Jisung leans in and Donghyuck meets him in the middle.
Chenle’s ending line becomes the background for the beginning of their true story.
His
missing puzzle piece.
