Work Text:
Josiah Findley tosses the key to the tank back over his shoulder, laughing as the door closes behind him. The bizarre Bond-villain trap has FBI Agent Peter Burke chained and held under water. Neal Caffrey rushes over to the tank using the pulley and counter-weights to get his partner out of the water safely. He lowers Peter to the floor and slaps his face, making sure he is awake. Peter groans and vomits out water while Neal unlocks the chains around his feet and hands. Neal checks that his airway is clear and pulls Peter up to a sitting position.
“Back up will be here in less than 5 minutes and I got the tracker on Findley,” he says to Peter.
“I thought I lost you that time. I don't know many more times I can go through this,” he says in a low whisper to himself. Neal looks at his partner's face. Neal kisses Peter and then halfway through the kiss realizes Peter is pulling away.
Neal whitens with shock as he realizes what he just did.
“What the fuck Neal? What are you doing?” Peter coughs and stranglingly yells at Neal.
Umm fucking up my life royally? He thinks to himself. By letting you know the one secret that I was planning never to reveal to you. Neal pulls away and turns to the side to avoid Peter's eyes for a moment.
“I'm sorry I was just so relieved that you're alive. I forgot myself.”
Peter keeps coughing as Neal helplessly hears his own dreams of a different life slip away.
Peter coughs again but his eyes soften a bit as he hears the relief in Neal's voice.
“What do you want me to say? It's not going to happen. I'm married. I'm legally responsible for you. I'm your boss.” Peter rasps out between coughs. “Pick any of those and we can get started on why sex is an incredibly bad idea between us.”
Just then, the lovely sounds of Jones and Diana coming to save the day echo through the warehouse. The cacophony of voices overwhelms them.“FBI! Nobody move!” “We got the tracker on the suspect and are in pursuit.” “Boss are you okay?” That was Jones, Neal thought. “I need a medic over here!” And that was Diana.
"Later" Peter says, as they are surrounded by agents and medics. Neal meets his eyes fro a brief, painful moment and then is lost to the crowd surrounding them.
At the hospital, El's warm presence has prevented any deep conversation between the two men. Neal felt stabs of guilt every time El murmured words of love and affection while at Peter's bedside. Once Peter was safely out of danger, Neal tried to leave. El wouldn't let him. She asks him to stay and keep her company for a while. He could never say no to Elizabeth Burke. I care too much for her, truth be told, I could fall for her with just a gentle shove off the cliff of desire. Okay if my metaphors are that bad, I NEED to go home and sleep. Neal tells himself and then reiterates this aloud to Elizabeth. She agrees and says good night.
Peter was kept overnight for observation and then was out of work on sick leave for the rest of the week. So it's the next Monday before Neal sees Peter alone.
Every night until then, he would collapse in the shower in a welter of tears over what had happened, the water cascading around him. Neal would jack off thinking about the kiss he had briefly shared with Peter and how it should have gone. Peter returning the kiss with fire and determination. Peter looking into Neal's eyes and saying 'I know, somehow I've always known.' Forehead to forehead with Peter whispering 'We'll figure it out somehow.'
Come Monday morning, Peter treats him exactly as though the conversation never happened. For lunch, they go to a small restaurant that El had recommended. It was a little off the beaten track but close enough to the FBI offices. As Neal reaches for the check, Peter stops him.
“We have to talk, or rather I have to talk and you have to listen. NO interruptions.”
“Neal I am very flattered that you are attracted to me but it can't go anywhere. I am your boss and legally responsible for you. I can get arrested and lose my job. Not to mention the fact I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. It just can't go any further--” Peter paused to take a deep breath and Neal cuts in.
“I never planned on telling you. I was hoping it was a crush that would go away. but its seems to still be there. I would never hurt Elizabeth. It's just I was so relieved that you were alive my emotions got away from me.”
“It won't happen again,”He says in a steely sad voice. Neal throws some cash down on the table and stalks out the door, trying to keep the tears from falling in such a public place.
Peter jumps up and yells “Neal wait! Let me finish!” but the other man is already out the door and gone.
“. . . right now,” he sits down heavily and whispers to himself.
“It can't go anywhere, right now.”