Archive of Our Own ^beta

???, 98 years after the Great Mushroom War.

The first time she ever thinks about comfort itself she’s shockingly reading a pre war romance novel she found in one of the old buildings she usually explores. She’s sick, a nasty cold even for a being made of gum, the relentless pounding inside her brain stops her from consuming anything more complicated than that and her brother just as sick in the room next door stops her from being able to sleep off the symptoms.

It sounded bad, but she could take the rest from such mindless actions. Neddy was sleeping peacefully last time she checked, she reads and reads, unable to stop herself from noticing patterns in the storytelling.

It's how she came across the word 'solace'. And before she can't make her own brain snap out of it, it burns in the back of her mind.

Solace , she thinks as the main character hugs her love interest while the world burns down around them.

Solace , as they whisper to each other about how everything is going to be fine as long as they’re together.

Solace , as she looks around and sees no one but her own reflection to take care of her sick self.

A paler version of herself stares back at her, the bigger than usual eye bags taunt her medicine filled mind and she can't help but chuckle darkly. It's not funny, no, her loneliness is almost palpable.

What makes it feel more ridiculous is the fact that she learned how to build sentient forms of life in an effort to wane her own desperation, only to fail miserably. Her uncle, aunt and older cousin all hate her guts somehow. Why? Not even her gigantic brain could provide an answer, but she gave up on trying to actually have a family that doesn’t consist solely of Neddy and her.

At least uncle Gumbald gave her the cabin they’re currently using as shelter, probably as an attempt to vanish and extinguish every trace of his existence so she wouldn’t track him down. She can’t lie and say she wouldn’t do it, she tried - and failed.

She looks in the mirror again, the way her eye bags mark her face makes her look almost old. Well, she is relatively old, at least it would be if she had any expected life span whatsoever. As of now, she’s young and despondent and she kind of feels like crying.

And it feels pathetic, in her ninety something years of life the only time she wasn’t able to actually mask how alone she truly feels was when she was detached from mother gum. Maybe she’s been feeling like this from the start, maybe she just couldn’t focus on her own needs when her priority is to make sure Neddy is able to get whatever he needs from her. Maybe if she lies to herself enough she could actually become as clinically detached as she pretends she is.

Still, sometimes like now she feels like a pet waiting for its owner to come home. rejected, desperate, terrified.

She’s scared of actually being immortal.

She’s scared of being alone forever.

She’s scared of this being it.

She needs to get away. Start anew.

There's a reason why she never reads anything remotely romantic. The existential dread just wasn't worth it.

Her brother grunts from the other side and she immediately gets up and heads to the other room, completely ignoring how her body aches and vision occasionally turns black.

She has to take care of him, she has no time for her own needs. She feels less lonely when she's being useful.

That's when it's decided, if she can't build someone to care for her - her failure of a family is proof - she will make something to care for. She will be someone's comfort, she will be something's solace.

Candy Kingdom, 420 years after the Great Mushroom War.

It was an incredibly boring night when Bonnie decided to run from Peppermint’s watchful eyes, she heard about a band playing in one of the taverns near the yet to be completed Kingdom. She heard they play some sort of pop punk, it’s not exactly her preferred genre but it would have to do for that night.

Surprisingly she didn’t hate it, it was probably the beautiful melodic voice the vocalist had, Marceline she thinks is her name. She sang the words like she meant it, she walked around the stage like she owned it and sometimes she could swear her deep dark eyes were trained on her.

The confirmation came in the form of a sweaty old shirt thrown in her exact direction, she was sure her cheeks couldn’t get any more red when Marceline winked at her. The rest of the set went by with Bonnie not averting her eyes from the other woman once, she was completely charmed. A drop of sweat dripped down her neck and her eyes followed hungrily, she forced herself to not think about it and pay attention to the lyrics instead. It worked, thankfully.

Later that night she met Marceline to check if she didn’t want the shirt back and tried to hide the happiness when she said it wasn’t necessary to return it. They went to the top of one of the completed towers in the castle and talked the entire rest of the night.

She told the vampire all about how hard she was working to be royal and made sure to not waste time to say she was incredible on stage. Marceline laughed and explained her process of songwriting and made sure to tell Bonnie how drawn to her she felt while singing - how her magnetic field was too strong and she couldn’t help but gravitate towards it.

That morning, she slept with a warm feeling inside her body, holding onto the promise that Marceline was definitely coming back the following evening.

It had been a couple of months since then and not much had changed, the construction of the castle was complete and her future citizens were finally ready to take their places in the houses she designed from scratch. She also got closer with Marceline.

They easily fell into a routine, Marceline would wake up at sunset and fly to Bonnie's lab, she would play whatever she deemed fit while the other girl did what she had to do. They'd talk when the vampire wasn't softly singing or asking about her opinion on certain lyrics.

It was easy, until it wasn’t. With the passing days she started feeling her chest heavy whenever they were together, it wasn’t a bad thing, it was just different.

Sometimes her heart would tighten like someone was squeezing it, it happened a lot when Marceline laughed. When she touched her Bonnie got dizzy, her skin burned. Sometimes the vampire jokingly flirted with her and she could swear she was about to faint.

She had yet to name the feeling, the realization came on a normal Friday night. Bonnie found a way to make snow without it melting and leaving sugary skin sticky, she had wanted Marceline’s approval. Not for her knowledge, more because she simply cared about whatever she had to say.

After countless days of researching and experimenting, the unnatural phenomenon was authentic enough to stand the careful architected snowmans Marceline seemed to build, it piled enough to allow the vampire to make angels on the floor, and it was soft enough to be turned into balls without hurting any of them.

The last one made them start a small war, mostly one sided. Even if Bonnie made the substance herself, she still didn’t want to get her hands wet, Marceline didn’t take her reluctance to heart and resorted to try - and fail - to hit her with her handmade small ammo.

“How old are you again?” Bonnie asked, half teasing, half amused.

“Right now?” She looked around and thought for a bit before shrugging. “I feel like I'm both nineteen and four hundred.” 

She gave up on trying to hit her target and floated to catch more of the faux snowflakes in her hands, hair and tongue. Bonnie smiled, the feeling of having lived an infinite amount of time and yet it not being near enough washing over her.

Marceline started her descent quickly, giggling in childlike wonder and landing delicately in front of Bonnie. Her mane of black hair was almost white, her face flushed, her eyes crinkling and shining with pure joy. 

Someone might as well have pointed a dagger straight to Bonnie’s heart. Marceline directed her smile to her and it felt like being stabbed, like being burned or some other intense pain that could make existence itself hurtful. 

Her chest ached when she was suddenly being engulfed in a hug, her throat dry when the melodic voice she grew to like so much whispered how proud she was that Bonnie was able to make this happen. How much she knew she could do it even if she didn’t know bonkers about science.

Her breath felt constricted as she wrapped her arms around a cold waist, taking that moment to memorize how Marceline’s body felt, how it seemed like they were born to stay in that embrace. But everything good must come to an end, so she steps out first and its proven to be the wrong decision because suddenly her lips just seem so kissable and her eyes are so mesmerizing she just can’t look away.

She doesn’t know what to do, even if she does have a knowledge about romance, mainly acquired by books she can’t say what’s the best course of action here. She knows that she wants to kiss Marceline, she wants to hug her and never let go, she wants to spend time with her and let her fangs sink on every inch of skin possible. She’s sure the last thought made her already red face look like a stop sign.

She wants the frantic hammering of her heart to be heard and she wants to know if Marceline’s would beat the same way given the possibility. She also doesn’t want to ruin their friendship, she doesn’t want her dedicated friend to stop showing up when things eventually go wrong.

She has no doubts if the other woman also feels the same, some part in her brain screams that she does and Bonnie just knows it’s true. Yet, there’s this childish side inside of her that needs to be a hundred percent sure and the fear of rejection it’s gradually rising.

From the other side, Marceline watches as the pieces fall into place inside her friend’s head, she tries to pick apart the insane amount of emotions showing on the princess’s face, fear is a big one and she would interrupt to reassure her if she didn't know that Bonnie needs this time to process it. So she just listens closely to her heart beats, each pump calling her name, telling her what she already knows.

She only decides to intervene when it feels like it’s been too long since she last saw the rise and fall of her chest that indicated the airflow necessary for her survival.

“Bonnie?” She asks, moving one of her hands to gently cup her face, the cold of her palm feels good against her hot cheek and it’s like she can breathe again because of it.

“Yeah?” She pants out looking around, glad they decided to do this in the dead of night before any of her citizens woke up and saw her in this state.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” She prodded gently.

Bonnie felt her heart stop beating, was it that obvious? 

It couldn’t be.

She wanted to deny, to run away and hide. But a single look at how patient, understanding and loving Marceline looked stopped her from completing any of those actions. 

Hidden in the small tug of her lips, the light caress of her thumb on her cheek, the reddish tip of her ears was the “me too” she so desperately wanted to hear. From the time they went vandalizing Kingdom property so she could get away a little to the constant way she never failed to make sure Bonnie was taking care of herself properly the painfully obvious statement was there.

Doubting those feelings was as stupid as questioning if water was wet.

It seems like that forgone conclusion was enough for her nerves to settle at least a bit. She looked at Marceline again, bringing a gloved hand to rest above the one still touching her. Identical smiles threatening to break their faces in half.

She feels her whole being burning from the inside in a fast and all consuming flame.

“Can I kiss you?” Marceline whispered.

“Please.” Was all she could answer.

Marceline used her free hand to pull her closer by the waist and their lips touched. Even if the contact was shy and tentative, Bonnie felt like the word stopped and something in her finally clicked into place. 

They slowly pulled apart and she was sure her heart was going to somehow implode, there was just no way a person’s heart could beat that fast - she wasn’t a person but still.

“Marcy…” She softly let out.

“I know.” She kissed Bonnie gently.

“Yeah?” She panted.

“Yeah.” Marceline looked into her eyes before breaking into the softest smile she ever saw. “Me too.”

“Take me home.” Bonnie whispered, dragging her lips across her friend’s? jaw.

The next minute she was already in her room, straddling the vampire’s lap and feeling bruising kisses all over her neck. As the stars shined down on them she couldn’t help but feel so full of love and admiration she would have exploded.

As the sun rose, she marveled at how safe she felt, how loved, how comfortable. She remembered the first time she saw Marceline, she admired then how rough and strong she looked on stage. Now in the safety of her castle with no witness but themselves she saw how soft the vampire actually was, how caring, how smart.

Of course, she knew that already, Marceline was an amazing friend. However, there was something so different about being her lover, it seemed like she stopped holding back in her affection. It felt rewarding.

Marceline held her body tighter and Bonnie saw stars, there was really no other place where she would rather be.

Glass Kingdom, 57? years after the Great Mushroom War.

“You're self-obsessed and all the rest, and PB, I'm so over it.”

It keeps repeating itself inside her head. She should’ve seen this coming, honestly, they haven’t been on very good terms lately.

Saying that is an understatement, Marceline and her have been fighting every time they try to strike a conversation, which hasn't exactly been a common occurrence. In between the incredibly fast growth of the Candy Kingdom and Marceline’s band's constant touring, they hadn’t been having enough time to just sit down and talk.

Not like she out of all people will stop her work to talk to her ex girlfriend, maybe that was the problem, but the vampire could be good at running away if she wanted to do so. The problem is that she just can’t seem to stop running away from every single inconvenience, be that in their relationship or just in life.

Sure, she wasn't guiltless, in fact she had the final word on their breakup. She likes to win pretty much everything, Marceline had been kind enough to give her this last victory. As selfless as ever.

As selfless as she could get after her little stunt bordered on public humiliation.

But she doesn't care, no, that's one less distraction and she needs to focus on managing her kingdom. At least it's what she keeps repeating to her reflection in the bathroom after crying until she threw up. 

She doesn't care. Yet, she looks at her windowsill every night in hope of Marceline appearing out of the blue to invite her to do something stupid - for the first time in years, she'd say yes.

She doesn't care. Yet, she refuses to rip off the one picture of the two of them from inside her closet, even if every time she changes clothes her heart tightens and tears start to form inside her otherwise empty eyes - she's always been bordering on masochist, but self inflicted psychological torture wasn't something she'd thought could happen.

She doesn't care. Yet, she makes sure to spend the entire day working so her brain couldn't form images of fanged lopsided grins and magic long fingers plucking on hard bass chords - the faint throbbing in between her legs is nothing but a twisted fragment of her imagination.

She doesn't care. Yet, her lab sounds so quiet she had to fix an old vinyl and cassette player because she just got too used to having a private show pretty much at all times. It feels like the entire castle is empty without a melodic voice humming and singing the entire night.

But yes, she does not care at all.

What she does care about is experimenting and expanding. It doesn't matter how she will get there and it doesn't matter if the toxic waste river just keeps growing. She'll fix that eventually. She has time.

And time heals all wounds. At least she hopes it does, the years go by and she just keeps on hoping.

It feels like Marceline ripped a large piece of her heart off and refused to give it back when she left. A sick part of her brain wishes she's suffering just as much.

And that side is satisfied, she knows the vampire is just as broken whenever she watches recordings of her concerts - before she disappeared into a hiatus that is - her songs all seemed sadder or angrier, she stopped singing the sappy ones written for Bonnie. It made her chest sting. 

At least she never sung that one again. She couldn't handle hearing about how she's 'kinda like a dictator in a way' again.

It wasn't at all fair, she knows.

It was also selfish, she's aware.

She can't force her ex to sing happy songs about their relationship to a crowd of people that would never understand what they were really about. Because Bonnie did ask -‘demanded’ would, perhaps, be a better descriptor - for their love to be as secretive as possible, the only one who knew aside from them was Peppermint. By accident, he walked in on his boss with her head in between pale thighs one particular night. She has long forgotten how to feel shameful about it.

But still, she was a princess. And her people could be awful to beings different from them, it was a flaw she just couldn't perfect now matter how hard she tried.

It's not like she wanted it to be a secret, sometimes she wished to just walk around and parade her - ex - girlfriend. She just couldn't. Because of her own rules.

It sounds stupid and honestly quite faulty when put like that but it was the truth. A good part of their relationship was brought down by her own principles, the biggest one to blame is her incapability of acknowledging and talking about her own feelings. It left too many things unsaid that led to arguments.

Another big flaw was the fact that she just couldn't put Marceline first, ever. It's something she regrets a lot, at the time, she missed a good amount of her shows, to the point where she wouldn't be able to tell you three new songs the vampire wrote about her. About them.

It was just bad all around, she can say that they have done more damage to each other than not. She simply started to shut everyone off for fear of being this hurt again, consequences be damned, and it doesn't do any good for her problem with loneliness.

But it helps her rational side to work more efficiently, the clinical detachment is actually useful when it comes to taking certain decisions - whether they'd be considered ethical or not, it doesn't matter.

She doesn't care. As long as it grants her not only respect but also obedience from her citizens and even some other royals, she could let the world burn.

Once again - not exactly moral, but hey, she's a monarch. Morality was never one of her strongest suits, would never be. She made her peace with that.

One could argue that that's one of the reasons why her ex lover left, she would heavily disagree, her mean streak is relatively recent. She only got the tools and nerves to act on her - surprisingly controlled - impulses in the past few decades.

And it's not that bad either, she tends to make things bigger than they usually are inside her head, it's how she developed such intense paranoia. But really, all she thinks about it's protecting her people.

It was also another problem back when she had a relationship. One conversation really strikes her. 

“Marceline, they'll die if I don't leave now and take care of it.”

“And? You can make new ones.” She shrugged. “You can also bring them back to life anyway and it's been so long since we had a real date.”

“Marcy, I don't have time for this.” She pinched the area in between her eyebrows. “My citizens are dying.”

“They’re literally made of candy.”

“What the heck do you even mean by that, Marceline? I am made of candy and my citizens are sick.”

Once more, Marceline shrugged. Usually when situations like this one happened, the vampire got angry, her eyebrows would crease and nostrils would flare. She would answer with snarls, each and every word that came out of her mouth would be tainted with rage, sometimes she even said things she didn’t mean just to make the unexplainable anger inside of her dissipate a little. Or to make her impassive lover react, who knows.

This time around, the only thing Bonnie got was indifference, dull and hurtful indifference. Her face remained as stoic as ever, only breaking the mask with a scoff or a roll of eyes, she seemed annoyed. Not because their night got interrupted, but because the kingdom had to be the reason why.

Bonnie hated it. Angry Marceline was easier to deal with, she knew where things would go and the makeup sex afterwards would be great and oh so worth it. Detached Marceline was uncharted territory, she despised not being able to read her.

“Oh my, what a tragedy.” She's never heard a more sarcastic tone coming from her girlfriend before.

“I can't believe you.”

She stormed off the tree house.

Marceline didn't even try to call for her.

Somewhere, a crow cawed.

It made her furious at the time and the fact that she noticed Marceline had the very same argument in the glass kingdom made her snap, but as the years passed she got apathetic. Science started to overcome the actual lives of candy people. 

She got more bold in risking someone every now and then. Not always from her people, and maybe that's worse, but she wouldn't lie and say she never used other's and her own citizens for personal gain.

She generally takes their biomass, sometimes their blood or their flesh, some others a few unconventional body parts - in a controlled environment of course - it's safer than one would think. She'd even mess with some of their psychological aspects, it was usually an easy task to get them back to point zero, so it's not all that important.

Candy people actually made incredibly good guinea pigs if she ever deemed necessary. Putting several aspects of their lives on the line was a constant part of her ruling plan. It worked almost ninety percent of the time.

The one thing she never actually messed with was their safety against foreign threats, she actively stops them from being in harm’s way. It’s just that more often than not she had to either experiment with them or something would go wrong and one of them would accidentally get hurt. Accidentally was the key word here. They would always be okay not too long later though, they’re easy to fix so it doesn’t really matter.

All that matters is progress.

Yes, they're sentient, but too dumb to actually notice much and too naive to hold something like an accident over their princess’s head. She never managed to make life kind and smart at the same time.

She thinks that says a lot about herself, so why fight it.

She has a goal and will work to achieve it without any further distractions, if she still listens to recordings from Marceline and the Scream Queens is neither here nor there. And if she uses that ratty old shirt all the time to avoid loneliness is nobody's business.

If she's being honest it's less about Marceline herself and more about the fact that she hadn't felt the touch of a woman for a long time - it’s been such a long time after their break up and she never had a rebound - she just can't afford to deviate her focus for a long time and oftentimes needs to cling to what she knows.

Sometimes she feels the need to go out and sleep with whoever just to be able to think of someone else, a quick glance at her people makes her give up. They need her and she has a reputation to uphold. Going to a bar for the sole purpose of leaving with a stranger wouldn't do any good.

But deep inside, she wished Marceline would come back - to the world of music, that is. She couldn't explain but there was some sort of comfort in knowing that she was still thriving.

She knows the vampire can't stay away from a stage for long, she just wants it to happen sooner rather than later because if she wasn't singing that could only mean she's going through a writer's block. Bonnie remembers the times she used to help her with that, either by brainstorming with her or just unknowingly being her muse.

She misses that. The times where there would be an incredibly specific pattern of knocks on her window at two in the morning just so Marceline could ask what words rhyme with 'room' or just the sight of the vampire staring intensely at her and scribbling fast so the ideas wouldn't leave her mind. 

It made her brain buzz sometimes, knowing that you make someone feel so much they need to write about it - about you - to let it out or they'll explode. It's the type of subjective power you can only explain after experiencing.

Bonnie would never say that she's power hungry by any means. Even if by definition she would qualify as one, she just enjoyed having every ounce of control possible. Things usually spiraled downwards when she just stood by.

And being able to have that much power over Marceline was pretty much intoxicating. She misses it dearly.

But they broke up and her ex has been off the grid for decades, she doesn't know if she would ever feel like that again.

And as long as the vampire is okay she's fine with that, really, she could never say she hates Marceline. Even if that one song keeps replaying itself inside her head, even if she wants to punch her guts for making her suffer that much, even if she wants to yell at her for making every inch of Bonnie's life be infected by her.

She just wants her to be as successful as possible. And she hopes to only ever hear about it from either other people or online sources.

Bonnie sincerely hopes she would never see Marceline in person again. She doesn't think she could handle it.

Candy Kingdom, ??? years after the Great Mushroom War.

She heard her laugh first, as unrestricted and loud as she remembered. Marceline was back.

It wasn’t new, no. She knew about it the moment she stepped foot in Ooo, she has an incredibly functional and elaborated surveillance system everywhere across the land. She’s always on guard. Her paranoia was never really gone.

But even if it wasn’t for the countless cameras, she’d know the vampire was close again. She also knew the other girl knew, Marceline did help her to set up most of them after all. Being invisible was incredibly useful.

And if there was something Marceline did, was abuse her less dangerous abilities. That’s how she found herself being watched on a random Thursday, she could feel intense eyes boring on her in the middle of a meeting. 

It was interesting to know that after centuries of being quite literally missing, she decided to come back now. It was also interesting that Bonnie had long given up the idea of being unable to stand in the same room as her, she was surprisingly quite tolerant of her invisible stalker.

She could feel a presence following her from up close for the entire rest of the afternoon, the faint smell of pinewood and raspberry tea was intoxicating. She had to stop herself from really breathing it in the entire time.

It felt weird knowing that she was the same. The same yet so different, distant past Marceline would have most likely tried to pull some prank on her. Closer past Marceline would have tried to distract her from her meetings and important tasks - it would more often than not work and she would thoroughly enjoy it, but this is irrelevant. And even closer past Marceline would find a way to pick a fight with her over something unimportant.

But she was simply watching this time around, always considerate of boundaries and with the amazing skill of reading the room right. Bonnie sort of liked this personality trait of hers, though it was a lot more absent in their last decade.

The thought makes her blood boil. She has to calm herself in some imperceptible way. Less for the presence floating above the vacant seat of her long meeting table, more for the royals demanding her attention to do some business.

That made her angrier, the fact that she still has such a strong effect on Bonnie and makes her want to focus on her got her insides twisting.

She resented Marceline for ending things the way she did, if she allowed herself to think about the circumstances of their break up she would wind up so much anger that the only way to calm herself down was an intense sparring match with one of the machines she built for this exact reason.

And if she allowed herself to think about the better moments of their relationship, she would cry curled up on a shirt that still smelled like her for the entire day. Peppermint once saw her wearing it and staring blankly at her balcony for more than three hours, now he gets this particular dreadful look every time the only black item she owns appears in his line of vision. But she can't help it, somehow there's always a part of her that wishes the vampire would just fly in unannounced like she used to.

Someway or another, Marceline never stopped taunting her. Never even left her mind for that matter, whether she liked it or not, even in important moments some part of her always thought about the vampire when making decisions. Maybe her dark streak came from trying to deviate from those thoughts by taking the opposite lane. It never actually worked.

But she was there now, following her like a predator stalking its prey. Back when she used to hunt, Marceline called it reconnaissance.

She understood why she spent hours and hours just learning her prey's habits. However, understanding why she did it never made it seem less annoying, especially now that she's the one being followed.

Bonnie could look straight in her direction and maybe banish her from ever entering the kingdom again, she could start a screaming match just so they would fight for hours, like they used to do in the year leading up to the end of their relationship - like Marceline used to do , she never gave her enough time or attention to have a proper fight.

It's one of the things she regrets. One of the things she can’t exactly fix. Not now at least, both of them still hold too many grudges to be able to have such a deep conversation, but maybe in the near future. Maybe , she hopes.

Before being her girlfriend, Marceline was her best friend and she misses that dearly. Being surrounded by either children or royals she needs something from for the entire day is tiresome, she needs someone like her old friend to talk to. Someone to play - lose in - card games and make stupid bets, but also just to drink with her in silence and help her get home when walking straight becomes hard.

It’s exactly why she doesn’t acknowledge her ex lover’s presence, even if it's annoying she’ll just let her watch for as long as the older monarch wants to. She knows she’s not in any danger and if by some miracle Marceline decides to go crazy and attack her there’s countermeasures for that. They decided to take care of it back when they dated, the silver chains are still under her bed for easy access.

On her way back to her chambers she dismisses the guards that are usually in front of her door, knowing that Marceline would be there the entire night. She always had this creepy urge to watch Bonnie sleeping, claiming that it was one of the few times where she was actually relaxed and that made it interesting. It was true, though sleep seemed to never come lately.

She didn’t change into her usual pajamas - that one slightly oversized band shirt - for the first time in decades, one thing was allowing Marceline to see her routine, another was admitting she needed the smell of her ex girlfriend to lure her to sleep. Besides, why would she need a really old shirt that went through countless experiments to preserve its qualities when Marceline is right there.

She can just make out her silhouette in the corner, probably floating with her legs crossed and scanning every moment Bonnie makes, not averting her eyes once. She knows this was only happening because they were both way too loney, that if they see each other in the morning they will fight. She knows that nothing is fixed, that if Marceline just breathes the wrong way the following day they won’t act civil.

It’s frustrating to say the least, but for now she’ll bask in the feeling of having so much power over one of the most dangerous beings this world could ever see that she just can’t look away. She’ll enjoy knowing that she still has the so-called magnetic field Marceline always mock complained and sometimes sings about. She will also rest in the comfort of having her presence just in the corner of her room.

It’s what prompts a change of heart and she feels the need to speak for the first time in a few hours, with her eyes already heavening with sleep.

“Please, go away in the morning.” Her tone was more gentle than she wanted it to be. She sighs. “I really don’t want to fight and you know we can't talk without doing it.”

“In the morning?” The shadow asked. Hurt, but not enough to move. “What? The almighty princess can’t sleep by herself?” Teasing, cruel.

“Why? Do you even care about me at all?” She was also hurting after all.

“No.”

“Yet, here you are.”

“Yet, here I am.” The voice paused, If she closed her eyes she could form twitchy hands fiddling with the hem of a flannel shirt as if she was seeing it. But she keeps her stare on the seemingly vacant corner of her room, she can’t get stuck in her imagination now. “Do you want me to go?”

It was an honest question so she thought about it, did she want to be left alone? No, could she admit it right now? Also no. 

Half truth it is then.

“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed.” Her voice was weak, vulnerable. Way too vulnerable.

“Hm.” The shadow seemed to be deep in thought. “Alright.” It said at last. “I’ll go in the morning.”

She could see one of her red lipsticks moving from her vanity. She couldn’t be mad about it as its color was slowly drained, Marceline had a bad habit of forgetting to eat, she’s just glad she won’t be hungry for now.

“Put it in the trash after you’re done, please.” She also had a bad habit of returning the formerly red items to their original places, it used to drive her insane. Another sigh. “Get one of my hats when you’re leaving, I don’t want you burning to death.” She pointed at a particularly large sombrero.

“Okay…” A couple of seconds pass, it feels like centuries. “I miss you.” A breath. She’s always been the most emotional one of the two. The one that lets her walls crumble first, the one that actually understands her own feelings well enough to admit them, it would be shocking for those that only know her from the on stage persona.

But Bonnie knows her for her, too well maybe. Some things never change, even with all the damage they’ve left on each other. Even with all the centuries apart.

She feels like crying, she holds it.

The lipstick is gently put in one of her trash bins, the silhouette floats slightly higher.

“So do I.” The truth. A pause. “And I’m still incredibly mad at you.” There's no bite in her tone, it's just honesty for the sake of it. She felt the need to say it, it was better than leaving it unsaid or pretending things were fine.

“So am I.” They look at each other, one of them is still invisible but it felt like they could hold this contact forever. “Good night, Bonnie.”

“Good morning, Marcy.” She chuckled. “Have fun watching my unconscious body, you creep.”

A scoff. “Thanks, asshole.”

Silence. Sleep got to her quicker than normal. 

She dreamed of soft songs played on a bass that looks like an axe, old books read out loud and different shades of red.

She woke up well rested, with her favorite large hat gone, a few gray spots on her makeup palette and a weird mix of longing and rage tugging on her heart. One of the corners of her room felt empty. She avoided looking at it throughout the entire day.

Perhaps that’s why when she sees Marceline laughing like that from her window in the dead of night she doesn’t know if she should cry or just yell at her. Doesn’t know if she’s angry at her or at Finn because how dare he make her laugh like she used to do. It’s as unfair as it is irrational.

And that’s another thing that completely pisses her off, she’s supposed to be the most rational princess out there, she’s a goddamn scientist, rationality is her whole thing. Still, seeing her face in person after almost four centuries was too much for her brain, hearing her name being spoken with such venom made her stomach churn.

It was such a contrast from the comfort she felt the night before that could give her whiplash.

All she could do was return to her chambers and try to convert her hurt to rage, she did that well. At least until her room was swarmed with wolves.

It was fine it really was, it would keep being fine if she couldn’t feel that all too familiar presence on her ceiling. She wouldn’t lose it though. Years and years of princess work rewarded her with the skill of maintaining her control even in situations like this, even if she just knows she’ll have to do something to release the tension accumulating inside her body soon or she'll explode.

She drew in a deep breath, already planning the words ready to come out of her mind.

“So this is how it’s going to be now?” Her head shot up to talk straight to the invisible being hiding in the shadows of her room. “You’ll hate me during the day and watch me sleep during the night?”

“Do you have a better idea?” She didn’t turn visible, knowing how much seeing her face would make Bonnie just lose her last strand of sanity - deep inside, she's extremely grateful.

She closed her eyes in exhaustion. “No, although we do need to talk. This can’t go on forever and you know it…however, I think I still need more time.” We both do. It was left unsaid.

“I know.” She could hear a deep intake of breath and opened her eyes, finding the room looking empty. That is, until that voice resonated again. “But I’m here for an actual reason.”

“Do tell.”

She could feel Marceline landing right in front of her.

“Sorry for the wolf thing. I was just thinking about how funny it would be to piss you off.” At a raised eyebrow she added. “It was pretty funny just in case you’re wondering, but really, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” A tired sigh left her lips. “Just get out for tonight, you may come back tomorrow if you wish to do so, but right now I’m just too tired to filter my mouth or to argue with you.”

“Okay, I’ll be on your windowsill though.” She was about to pull the very last of her energy to yell when Marceline rushed to continue. “You pissed off the entire pack, they might attack the whole kingdom for revenge, you know how wolves are like.” A sigh. “I just don’t want anyone getting seriously hurt because of a stupid prank.”

If it wasn’t for her tone she would reinforce the request for her to go away, but she has heard that exact cadence enough times to know it’s nothing but the truth. That and the fact that she’s aware of how much the vampire enjoys hunting any threats on her life seals the deal.

“I suppose that’s just fair.”

“I promise that if there’s nothing out there, I’ll go back home.”

She nodded and laid down. “Have a pleasant night, Marceline.”

“Sleep tight, Bonnibel.”

Once again, she fell into a slumber easily. Even if she was still mad and the longing inside her chest started to grow as the seconds passed, having the knowledge that Marceline was watching over her is more comforting than she was willing to admit.

Candy Kingdom, ??? years after the Great Mushroom War.

It's a catastrophe. She's used to that. It's okay.

It happens all the time. It’s fine. She’s fine .

She has a protocol, she’s methodical, of course she does. As a royal it’s her duty to protect her citizens so she often needs to be prepared. She is now.

She knows what to do, she just can’t move.

In truth, the actual danger has already passed, she’s a good princess, a good ruler and most importantly a good scientist. She took measures to make sure her kingdom could properly function without much of her interference, if her calculations are right - which they usually are, the final version of them, at least - things are already running smoothly and all she needs to do is reinforce the materials of the walls so they can withstand more. That’s it.

She can do it, should be able to do it.

She’s done it before. She can do it again.

She would do it if her body could move. She’s been in the same position - back straight, head up, shoulders rolled back, staring at the corner of one of her lab’s walls, the only movement one can detect is one of her fingers lightly tapping her thigh repeatedly - for more time than she can guess. Or less, it’s possible that her moment of deviance has been lasting for mere minutes. She doesn’t know, she hates not knowing, she’s in a trance and just can’t seem to snap out of it.

It’s almost catatonic, it certainly seems like it, she doesn’t know if that’s actually what’s happening. It’s awful, she hates it. But then again, it looks like she doesn’t know a lot of things these days. It’s why she’s been spending more and more time studying, often straying away from other things that might need her attention, her friends for instance. For what? She doesn’t know.

Something moves in her peripherals, she can’t drag her eyes away from the one spot she’s been staring. The unknown subject walks around her, inspects her, she would be terrified if it wasn’t for the notion that only two people aside from herself knew the passcode to get through her lab’s thick doors and she checked the security system not more then a few days ago. She’s meticulous, no one else could get through them.

She sees red and white, she knows who it is, she can’t remember his name. Hell, she can’t remember her own name, but he touches her still hand gently. The tapping on her left thigh grows more violent, less uniform. The all too familiar man shakes his head with something akin to disappointment and leaves. She wants to stop him, she feels too lonely, her lab is cold. She’s unable to move.

She hears something outside, it’s muffled like she’s drowning. Perhaps she is, her shoulders feel heavy as if someone is holding her down, the breath she draws in is shaky. A thought crosses her mind, how many days has it been since she last slept? Before she sat down, maybe three, now? She has no idea. She wants to scream.

Someone comes in again, taller, paler, prettier than the man that previously walked through the heavy metal doors. She also knows her, her senses are invaded by the smell of tea and pinewood, it’s familiar. It reminds her of late night card games, punk concerts and cottages in the middle of nowhere. It brings memories of countless days spent rolling around her bed, of being serenaded during the witching hours, of tender touches and soft fanged smiles. She still can’t remember her name. It’s taunting to say the least.

It also brings memories of heartbreak, loss, anger, closure, forgiveness. Though she’s not exactly able to place when it all happened she knew whoever that was they had history and this might not be how she wants to present herself. She knows they’re on good terms now, knows that they used to fight a lot, resent each other’s guts, but they’re friends again - maybe they’re teetering on the edge of being more than that, something deep in her brain tells her it’s impossible for them to actually be just friends.

She knows it’s left unsaid, It’s one of those things where they’re on the same page but think it’s too soon to risk the amazing friendship they’ve built along the years. She wants to say something, though she doesn’t know if she should, she can’t remember her name. This is going to tear her mind apart.

But the presence comes closer, her unnamed almost-lover - or ex lover, her memories are way too hazy - is floating towards her. It’s almost coy the way the shadow on the wall slowly makes its way to her, it eventually vanishes, her peripheral vision can only give insight on so much. But she can feel the air moving behind her just before the smell starts to come right from her side.

A calloused finger moves a stripe of pink bubblegum hair from her line of vision, she hadn’t noticed it was there in the first place. The incessant tapping stops at the same time a hand kindly runs through her hair, untangling knots she didn’t know were there. This constant of unknowing things was really driving her insane. 

But she has no time to dwell on it because a familiar voice is talking, her ears search for the melodic sound, she tries to tune out her own mind to hear it better. She needs to do it. The voice stops, she almost cries at the loss.

Then it happens again, slower, she finally is able to hear it clearly.

“Bonnie?” It says, desperately almost. Or is it her own despair being projected onto it? She can’t tell. She doesn't know.

Bonnie . It clicks, she’s Bonnie. She wants to answer it, she wants to show that she’s still alive. She can’t move. The tapping starts again.

“Bonnie, can you hear me?” Black hair obstructs her vision, she can’t look up. “If you can, tap my hand twice, only twice.”

She notices a hand is now where her thigh should be, it’s fine, she likes how cold the surface is now. She does as told. The voice hums and the body moves again.

“I’ll help your muscles to relax, okay?”

She wants to say something but only a grunt comes out, her jaw is locked tight. She doesn’t know how to release it.

“It’s okay, Bon, you don’t have to say anything for now. Focus on relaxing.”

Strong hands start to press on her shoulder, steadily undoing the multiple knots just resting there. After so many years this person knew where her tension was stored and how to make it dissipate. She felt like crying, the wetness now coating her hands showed that she probably already was for some time now.

A few minutes later, her back was slightly less stiff. She could feel herself slotching her shoulders a little, nothing too noticeable. She is a princess after all, graceness and elegance come to her as naturally as breathing.

The hands moved to her own, gently coaxing her fingers to open and pushing the right buttons for her circulation to come back slowly, the tingle it left behind was almost painful. At last they moved to her jaw, with only a few pressings she could already feel her mouth finally opening. She wanted to say thank you, her voice didn’t come out at all.

She fell forward in a frustrated attempt to stand up, her companion caught her with open arms. The tight hold on her body made her cry once more, the soothing words being whispered in her hair along with the barely there kisses made her want to take deep breaths again. She needed to move.

“Bonnie.” The voice said. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Marcy.” She whispered, finally remembering who her saving grace is, finally feeling her own heart beating inside her chest again.

“Shh. It’s okay, I’m taking you to your room.”

She was already being lifted in the air when the panic of her subjects seeing her in such a vulnerable state installed. Who would follow such a pathetic leader? Especially for the fact that she just got her throne back, it wouldn't do any good.

“No.” Her voice cracked, probably from the mix of dehydration, lack of use and almost screaming. Her throat hurt, she was still crying.

“No?” Marceline just floated outside, so high no one would recognize them. “My place, then?”

She nodded and rested her head on a cold collarbone, trying her best to not fall asleep. For a split second she panicked, what if it was sunny and Marceline would burn to death. But a glance up showed her the moon shining brighter than ever, the fact that she thought her vampire would risk her life like that was proof as to how much sleep deprivation can mess with one’s brain.

She must’ve napped because one blink and they were suddenly entering the cave Marceline called home. She was sitting on the world’s most uncomfortable couch when her eyes averted to the red calendar just above the tv, her eyes widened and her throat dried. The other woman handed her a glass of water and just watched with amusement as multiple emotions danced across a normally perfectly curated stoic face.

It was Sunday. There was no way it was already Sunday.

She checked the date before going into the lab, Saturday morning. She lost more than a full day doing nothing when she should’ve been taking care of her kingdom. What kind of ruler is she?

“Bon? Everything okay?” 

She looked at her slowly, trying to mend the growing panic, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with a full mental breakdown right now. Marceline looked worried, Bonnie knew there was nothing she could do to make her stop caring so much - maybe she didn’t ever want her to stop.

Half of the water on the glass was gone in one swift move, she licked her lips trying to get the words swimming around her head right.

“How…” No, that’s not what she wants. She sighed. “Is that calendar accurate?”

“Yeah? Why?” She sounded cautious, maybe afraid that her answer would finally push Bonnibel from the edge that is currently holding her sanity - and if she’s being honest it might.

“ Fuck. ” 

It was just a mutter under her breath but she watched as Marceline’s eyes grew impossibly wide, she can’t blame her. There are only two situations where she would be seen using such foul language, the bedroom or when she had enough alcohol to forget how to say full sentences, otherwise it just wasn’t proper vocabulary to a princess.

“How long have I been…gone?” She asks. She doesn’t know. It’s killing her inside.

“Thirty six hours more or less.” Marceline paused to reassess her reaction, when she got nothing but a raise of an eyebrow she decided to continue. “I tried to talk to you after we dealt with everything but you didn’t pick up your phone, I should’ve noticed something was wrong.” She looked down in shame, if she couldn’t take proper care of Bonnie, who would.

“Marcy, no. I’m supposed to be able to take care of myself.” Her lips formed a tight line, that was four sleepless days in total, it wasn’t good.

“We both know you suck at that.” It didn’t have the mean or teasing bite of the past. It was just a fact, a statement.

They laughed, it wasn’t funny. No, it was pitiful, a ruler of a kingdom she built from nothing not being able to cater to her own basic needs was almost heartbreaking.

“I didn’t notice it’s been that long.” She says timidly. This thing about actually communicating is completely new, a deal they made the day they decided to rekindle their relationship, friendship ?

“It didn’t look like you noticed much.”

“I don’t know what happened.” A cold hand enveloped her warm one. She sighed, defeated. “I guess I was just overwhelmed, so my body shut down.”

A hum of acknowledgement, dark eyes searching for any trace of lie written on hers, they didn’t find anything. Stopping with the lies was also part of the deal, she’s glad they were becoming better people for each other.

“Everything alright?”

“Yes, now I suppose I am okay.” A soft smile. “Thank you, Marcy.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Bonnie.” She scratched her neck, embarrassed. “I’d do pretty much anything for you.”

She couldn’t see but she’s sure her face was as red as it gets, not that Marceline’s was any different and the sight made her grin. She loved that even after centuries she still had this kind of effect on her former lover. She knew that’s one of the things that would never change. It’s not the fact that she finally knows something that makes her heart beat faster.

“Pretty much anything? Where do you draw the line?”

Marceline contemplated for a bit, if history serves her right, her limits wouldn’t be the same ones people usually have. No, the vampire has killed for her before, captured prisoners that would be used as guinea pigs for many different experiments and so on. They committed real horrors for each other some centuries ago, they would do the same now. Even with both their moral compasses being significantly more, for the lack of a better word, moral and maybe that’s why they feel so drawn to one another.

Regardless of the actual reason, she gave up in trying to find that many years ago, deciding to go with the human explanation that some things simply don’t have an answer - it ate her inside, but she’d just have to live with it. She had an idea of what Marceline would say, there was only one thing she hated more than anything in this world, politics.

“Princess stuff. Hard no.” See? She knows her well.

“Are you sure?” She tried to bat her eyelashes the best she could, she did a good job even with the lack of sleep is bringing her flirtation skills down a little.

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes as far as it got, for dramatic effect, she’d say if questioned. “The galas are fine, but princess day? I’m out.”

“Yeah.” She narrowed her eyes, elongating the word so it sounded as suspicious as she felt. “Sure."

They shared a laugh, knowing that if Bonnie just bargained the right way Marceline would certainly agree with it. Though she wouldn't, no, negotiating with the vampire almost always resulted in her doing something stupid.

So she decided to change the subject, stifling her yawns was getting harder by the second.

“If that’s the limit, then you wouldn’t mind carrying me upstairs and lending me clean clothes, would you?”

“No and I can give your legs a massage tomorrow, they might still be stiff.” She said already holding Bonnie bridal style

She was assisted - more like watched - throughout her entire night routine. Something she never thought she’d enjoy before, the help that is, but Marceline often made her change her mind about things she thought she knew. 

She was only left alone after being tucked in the thickest comforter available at the house, the vampire didn’t even touch the bed usually, she didn’t have blankets at first. She bought them solely for her nighttime visitor. Bonnie is the one made of candy, but sometimes Marceline could be so sweet she swears she will get diabetes just from being on the receiving end of her affection.

Marceline closed the door to the stairs gently, as to not disturb her, the soft sound of a bass was almost a lullaby. Almost , because she just couldn't sleep.

It didn’t matter how much she tossed and turned sleep wasn’t coming which was absurd if you ask her. She was tired, her eyes were heavy, she had to sleep. It must’ve been fifteen or so minutes like that, nothing happened. She's going insane.

The music stopped maybe five minutes before, she counted the small dents of the wood on the ceiling, tried to count sheeps and even an old yoga technique Peppermint taught her some years ago. Nothing worked.

As if sensing it, a soft breeze grazed her covered body, the window was locked but the door must've opened and closed during her moment of distraction. An untrained eye would think she's going crazy because there was nothing in the room, but she was far from untrained. In fact, she learned to detect Marceline's invisible presence a decade into their first relationship - she never told her about that.

Her eyes spotted the exact corner her shadow was, if she focused enough she could just draw the expression she was bearing. Instead, she raised her hand in her direction and used that one voice tone she knew always drove the vampire to the edge. She really, really, loves knowing.

“Why don't you lay here with me, hm?” The shadow didn't react but she could hear the hitch of her breath from a mile away. “Please, I can't sleep.”

She pouted. Using her best assets to guarantee she gets what she wants is an art she mastered in the very beginning of her life.

The silhouette moved in her direction, she had to hide a smirk. She succeeded.

“Do you just invite random creatures into your bed in the dead of night?”

Out of all of the times Marceline watched her sleeping, never once she was allowed into the bed. Aside from one particular night, both decided that one didn't count. So to say she was surprised would be an understatement.

“Only if the creature in question is you.” She winked, knowing her vampire could see her even in the dark.

Still invisible, she scoffed and opened her drawer to pull out pajamas, changing right then and there. Bonnie couldn't see her anyway, even if she could, there wasn't anything she hadn't seen or worshiped already.

“You're gonna get yourself killed like that.”

“Says the one that hunts my wannabe assassins for sport.” Bonnie opens the blanket as a form of invitation. “Really, I haven't had the need to use my highly elaborate security system in years.”

“Complaining much?”

“Never.” She smirked and the shadow loomed just over her. “You know I love having a personal guard dog.”

“Personal guard vampire-demon sounds more intimidating.” She moved. “You should use that instead.”

Marceline only became visible after laying down, immediately opening her arms so Bonnie could snuggle her as she pleased, knowing that just being by her side wouldn't actually help. The younger royal ended up laying on her chest, the coolness of her undead body was more comforting than any of her previous attempts to calm down.

“Now, is there any reason why you can't sleep?"

She wants to give a satisfactory answer, she wants to have an exact cause to have the cure. She can't, she doesn't know. She wants to bang her head on the nearest wall.

Instead, she just presses closer on the vampire beneath her. Marceline is better at this type of thing, maybe she could help. She hates that she needs help at all.

“How did you know I was awake?”

“Vampire biz.” She threaded her fingers gently though Bonnie's hair, her eyelids heaved. “Will you answer the question or should I just let you sleep?”

She could just take the second option, Marceline wouldn't force her to talk, it was in their agreement. They wouldn't push each other, the improvement had to come from within.

But she wouldn't, no. The woman under her has confided in her multiple times, told her the deepest secrets she had, showed more vulnerability than she thought was possible. It wasn't fair to shut her out now.

So she just sighed and tried to gather her thoughts in a way that made sense.

“I just…felt uncomfortable. I don't know.”

Even with her vision completely obstructed, she could see the way Marceline was frowning in confusion. Whenever she didn't understand something she always made this one expression that filled Bonnie with something that couldn’t be described by nothing other than fondness.

“Is it better now?”

Her tone was so innocent, so caring that it sent chocolate butterflies all over her stomach - she knows that's scientifically incorrect, but knowing and knowing are two different things - and couldn't help the giggles leaving her lips. Her vampire was so cute.

“Yes, Marcy, it's so much better now.” She didn't stop herself from lightly kissing the undead's collarbone, nothing but a brush of her lips. Just like how she used to do before, relishing in the resulting shudder. “I got what I needed.”

I got you. She hoped Marceline could understand the underlying message there, by the kiss on the top of her head she could say she did. She could always tell what Bonnie meant by the dubious things she said - it's one of the things she loves the most about her.

Love?  

If she wanted to deny the truth, she could. But it would just be counterproductive, being scared of the dimensions of her feelings would just make her push Marceline away. 

And that's just useless, even when they were broken up and 'hating' each other she kept tabs on the vampire. No matter where she performed, Bonnie would find a way to watch without being recognized. A way she found to compensate for never showing up before.

She's pretty sure that if she died, she would find a way to crawl back to Marceline. There's no point in lying, she knows that now.

Still, there’s also no point in messing with this at this exact moment, maybe she can do that in the morning. Now, drowsiness was overcoming her and with each soft movement of calloused fingers on her scalp her eyelids grew heavier.

Marceline started to hum an old pre war song, just like she did centuries before whenever Bonnie spent too long inside her lab and forgot to sleep. It’s amazing how even when everything changes some other stuff will always remain the same.

She smiled and suddenly everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

Solace, she thought, as her breathing evened out and the world drifted along with her consciousness.

Ooo, 270 years after the Great Gumwar.

Giving up the management of her kingdom wasn't all that hard, really, she's been crazy tired for a long time. And knowing that the crown would be left in the hands of a very trustworthy Peppermint really gave her the confidence to step down - the fact that he still calls before making any life changing decision has honestly a lot to do with it as well.

At first the prospect of doing nothing bothered her. Thankfully Marceline, sweet Marceline, gave her the insight that now she could simply focus on her research full time.

Well, full time is an understatement. With such a devoted friend running the Candy Kingdom she still had access to her lab whenever she deemed fit and without any questions asked. The citizens are still made of candy and she’s still the only one that can manipulate their biomass according to their needs.

So really, it’s not at all surprising when she collapses from exhaustion after pulling yet another all-nighter. She tried to make more time to rest, she really did, but that one thing humans always said about old habits dying hard really proves itself true more and more every day.

Her world spins as she sits up from the spot on the ground she fainted on, the edges of her vision are still black. Some exquisite looking chemical reactions boil on the table just a few feet across from her and actively reminds her of her task. Enhance some of their compounds to better their immune system.

She laughs under her breath at the irony of deteriorating her own health to further improve her former subjects’. She still doesn’t get up, there’s this weird feeling that any move will make her pass out again and the best way to stop it is just resting. Resting while her work is right in front of her, yeah it won’t happen.

So much for retiring.

Lucky for her Peppermint chooses the right time to barge through the door holding a jar of water and a bowl of fruits. At the sight of the former royal on the floor, with her hair completely disheveled and skin paler than normal he just sighs, hurriedly bringing her the items in his hands.

“Princess…” His tone is a mix of concern and resignation.

“ You’re the princess, Peps.” She sighs and takes the glass of water being handed to her.

They've been through this exact conversation countless times before.

“I am your butler first and foremost.” He argues, now offering the food. “And I already called her.”

“What?!” Really, she almost spits the strawberries she’s chewing on his face. “Why?”

“This.” He gestures at her pathetic form. “Is too much, your majesty.”

“I trusted you, little bastard.” She swung her fists in a form that she hopes resembles a cartoonish old man, by the roll of his eyes she can tell she succeeded.

“I have not told her about your…predicament.”

“Oh, you’re the best.” Her body went limp with relief and she laid down again, he shook his head at her antics.

“It truly amazes me how you have yet to drop dead out of exhaustion alone.” There’s a mean bite to it, but their friendship is strong enough to allow such truthful roasts.

“Please, a little sleep deprivation won’t kill me. I’m not weak.” She lightheartedly counter argued. 

They shared a small laugh and Bonnie allowed Peppermint to help her get up, waiting for her surroundings to stabilize before cracking her back and resuming her eating. Some of the solutions would need to react for a bit more if the clock on her wrist is accurate - it is.

“You said you called Marcy?”

“Affirmative.” He filled her glass again. “She is still finishing up something with her father but will arrive shortly.”

Every couple of decades, Marceline would meet up with the Lord of Evil to talk over her inheritance - to deny her inheritance, if she’s being more precise - and let off the stress the family reunion caused by fighting some other demons. It never took more than a week, but the scientist always felt devastated by being alone, it was kind of codependent on her side but after more than two centuries together she kind of didn’t mind.

Bonnie nodded and immediately got back to work, if her girlfriend was coming over she would have a single purpose and that would be to distract her from whatever she’s doing and coax her to go to bed - either to sleep or to get busy, as one of their old friends used to say, she's up for both and really won’t put out a fight this time.

It took the time to solve two equations and put some solutions into the centrifuge to run overnight for the door to fly open - that was approximately seven minutes, a new personal record for Marceline - and a shadow tackle her to the ground, gentle hands cradling her head before it actually hit the hard surface, unfortunately her back wasn’t so lucky and she went down with a grunt.

Marceline was like an oversized dog sometimes. It was completely adorable.

Suddenly cold lips were pressing on sugary ones, it was short lived though, both their grins way too wide to allow them an actual kiss. Their bodies were pressed so close together she’s pretty sure her own erratic heartbeat could be felt by the undead girl. Her warm hands made their way inside a stolen white sweater to scratch a cool back with her dull nails.

Marceline gasped and straddled her to pull away for a bit. This couldn’t go any further at the moment, sex in the lab was way too unsanitary and dangerous, an incident involving sulfuric acid was enough for them to never try again. The vampire bit her lips and just stared at her girlfriend, she agrees, a week is way too long.

“Bonnie.” She says. 

And it's only one word, it's only her name, yet it somehow feels so much more than the phrase 'I love you' could ever mean. It's spoke with such reverence it makes her feel like the sterilized floor of her lab is an altar and she's the deity.

She looked at Marceline, hoping her eyes betrayed her and showed the ocean of emotions taking over her body. She knows she could never describe those feelings with words, luckily her lover was incredibly talented at reading her and judging by the way she took a deep breath she didn’t need it was safe to assume Bonnie’s heart was as bare as she wished it would be.

She wanted to say so much, to do so much. It was truly amazing how their many years together did nothing to shrink her feelings for Marceline. In all honesty, every morning when she wakes up and finds her girlfriend reading by her side it feels like she’s about to explode with affection. And every night before she goes to sleep her last thought is always drawn to the woman by her side.

If you asked her, she’d say that giving their relationship a second chance was by far the best decision she ever made in all of her thousand and something years of life.

She loves the knowledge that she would love Marceline until the sun exploded, loves knowing that the only way to separate them is to kill them both and even then she will find the way to her other half again.

As if she could tell exactly where her mind went, Marceline kisses her again. Slow, loving and so full of emotion it overwhelms her a little. When they pull apart she finds glossy dark eyes staring right at her.

“Bonnie.” She repeats, voice almost cracking this time.

It's always been amusing, to say the least, how Marceline can make her name sound like a full sentence. It's almost unfair as well.

“Bonnibel.” Marceline shifts to lay on top of her, every part of them is now in contact. The vampire was holding her body so tightly she's scared it could break something even if she doesn't have any bones.

They were about to kiss again when Marceline finally noticed how the eye bags that always coated a pink face - products of centuries being a chronic insomniac - seemed to be deeper. She frowned and Bonnie just allowed her to stare for as long as she pleased, it's been way too long since she completely opened up to her girlfriend and she honestly forgot how to simply shut her off. 

She doesn't want to remember how to do it.

“Hey Bon, are you okay?” Marceline asked, the concern in her voice was so evident it made her heart clench.

“Yeah, just tired.” She smiled softly, it was the truth after all.

“Her majesty has yet to take a break from her research.” Peppermint's voice sounded sharp from their spot on the ground, she winced at how the vampire frowned, never taking her eyes off her.

“I really can't believe you're betraying me , your creator, like that.”

“And I can't believe you haven't slept already.” Marceline argued immediately.

Bonnie pouted, knowing that it would let her off the hook easier. Her girlfriend stopped the breathing she started earlier and she had to fight off a smirk.

Just to have a better chance at not being lectured - that's her role, thank you - she decided to actually be truthful.

“I forgot how to sleep without you.” She whined. “Our bed is too big and cold and lonely.”

Marceline melted. Peppermint made a gagging sound so violent she got worried he actually threw up.

“Thought you'd gotten used to it at this point.” She chuckled, Marceline made her sappy, it wasn't her fault.

“So have I.” He sighed with resignition. “The two of you shall stay for the day, the sun seems especially bright this afternoon.”

“Yeah.” The vampire chuckled. “Minty here is right.”

“Indeed I am.” He opened the door. “I shall escort you to your majesty's chambers.”

Bonnie barely had the time to get up before she was scooped up into the air, the bridal style hold allowed her to rest on Marceline's collarbone. She sighed contently, the time they got separated, though small, was really starting to get to her.

Her room is messier than usual, mostly because she's been sleeping there for the week and hadn't had the time to properly clean up but it may also have to do with the fact that she doesn't have any plans of staying in the castle for more time than necessary.

Ever since Peppermint assumed the throne the color palette of the entire thing is composed of deep reds, purples and blacks. Marceline thinks it's the coolest thing ever, Bonnie just gets goosebumps at odd hours of the night.

They settle down easily, while she takes a shower and goes around her sleep routine, her girlfriend waits by the bed reading one of the many books scattered around. The sight of the vampire wearing only a large shirt, floating completely relaxed filled her with something that could only be described by the word bliss.

The moment she closes the bathroom door, Marceline starts to move things around. Sometimes, she isn't able to fall asleep simply because it feels like her place is crowded with her own things, it's as if the mess she made will swallow her whole.

Her girlfriend knows that and just like most times, decides to easily fix the issue. She's becoming more and more pragmatic these days, it seems like being ancient is finally getting to her or it could be just Bonnie's influence. Either way, it's heavily appreciated.

She just stares as Marceline does her absolute best to make sure she's comfortable and is not able to feel anything but the utmost endearment. It reminds her of that one time when she wondered what it would be like to have someone care for her.

Her smile isn't restrained when a single word comes to mind.

Solace.  

She almost cries when Marceline lays by her side, wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her to rest above a cold chest. Her hum of satisfaction is so quiet she doubts anyone but them could hear, the quietness inside the room brings a sense of peace so intense it almost feels like she's in heaven.

Suddenly, there's a heaviness inside her chest, a tight knot crushing her heart and her breath comes out ragged. She moves from her initial position, using her arms to be able to stare right at Marceline's questioning face.

“I love you.” She breathes out. Tears swell up in her eyes, the air gets stuck inside her lungs. “Shit, I love you so much.”

“Is everything okay?” Her girlfriend asks, bringing up a hand to gently caress her cheekbones. “I mean, I love you, but this is kinda out of the blue.”

“I know.” She said softly, as if talking any louder would burst this bubble they found themselves in. “I just… really love you and I feel like I don't say it enough.” 

Marceline was about to argue, Bonnie always made sure to say it everyday, it didn't make sense. But just a look into her eyes showed she wasn't done yet, so the vampire waited until she started again.

“It's almost like, I don't know...” She averted her eyes, for someone so eloquent she often got lost when it came to actually expressing what she felt. “I just feel so much for you and I don't know if you know. You're my everything, Marcy.” Her voice cracked and she had to take a deep breath to be able to keep going.

Marceline just sat up and prompted for the other woman to straddle her lap so they could talk more comfortably, it wasn't often that Bonnie opened up like this, she wasn't about to interrupt her. Instead, she just rubbed circles on her lower back from underneath the silky pajamas she usually wore to sleep.

Bonnie took another breath and looked straight at her girlfriend before speaking again.

“At first, I was scared of being immortal.” She started slowly, finding nothing but adoration and understanding in the dark eyes staring at her. “I was scared of being as alone as I was back then, before the kingdom that is.” 

Marceline nodded and Bonnie had to breathe again to keep going.

“And even then, I was terrified of retiring and having to be by myself again. The candy citizens used to be my escape from loneliness But…” She hesitated, her girlfriend just gently kissed her hands to coax her to keep talking. “But now there's you and I just want to wake up every day by your side. Forever.”

Marceline couldn't hide the tears falling from her eyes or her loving grin even if she tried, so she didn't. Instead, she leans forward to take Bonnie's lips chastely, just for a second or two before speaking.

“Forever is an awfully long time, though.” She talked softly, their lips still touching lightly.

“Yes, it thankfully is.” A kiss. “And I want to spend every day of it with you.”

Her heart hammered painfully inside her chest at the admission, she has felt it before, but never spoke or even thought of it with such straightforwardness. It was so good to finally associate those abstract feelings that were running through her mind for the past couple centuries with words.

It wasn't everyday that her brain finally sinked up with her emotions, she was glad it was happening now.

“I would be crazy if I didn't want the same.” Marceline muttered before kissing her again, her mouth opening to give way to a sweet tongue and her hands tightening her hold on a slim waist. Their foreheads touched when the vampire got herself under control to continue talking. “I love you so much, Bon.”

Bonnie smiled and kissed her again. Even though she said one fraction of what she feels is still not enough, she doesn't think it would ever be. 

So she just puts everything she has in her into kissing the person she loves the most. She's sure no one has ever felt for anyone or anything else in the same way and intensity that she feels for Marceline. She knows that no one will ever compare.

They pull away to look into each other's eyes again and she swears she can see the entire universe reflected in them. 

And it's in times like this, that she wishes she was a poet or a songwriter to be able to convert this overwhelming feeling that threatens to rip her heart apart into flowery words.

She wants to leave a written record of it so the people in the future can sing, read and cry about how beautifully intense her love for her girlfriend - her soulmate, if there is such a thing - is, she wants to be alive to see it. 

She probably will be.