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“You look like hell.”
Geordie's voice was the first Sidney heard when he had woken. He groaned a little; even the gentle voice of his friend was too loud for his head this morning. He pressed his palms into his eyes trying to ease the pounding in his head.
“Geordie?” he croaked out, clearing his throat.
“Who else?” he asked. “Sit up, drink this.”
With great effort Sidney pushed himself up on the bed, only now realizing it wasn’t his bed to begin with. Before he could ask where he was, a glass of water was pushed into his hand by Geordie.
“Drink up, you’ll need it after the bender you went on last night.”
Sidney took a drink from the glass and squinted up at Geordie. It hurt to keep his eyes open, even with the curtains closed and the lights off everything still felt too bright.
“Geordie… where am I?” he asked.
“Boarding House, managed to find one that would take us for the night.”
“I can pay—”
“ Don’t , it’s fine.”
Sidney buried his face into the pillow below him, trying to recall anything from last night. All he could remember was entering the pub. He had been upset after a confrontation with Amanda and Guy and… that was it. He didn’t even remember calling Geordie… Or maybe they just ran into one another.
“I can’t remember a thing…” Sidney pushed himself up so he was sitting, downing the rest of the water to help his dry throat.
“ That's probably for the best… ”
“That bad, was I?”
“No, a model vicar. ‘Course don’t know if that's saying much.”
Sidney huffed out a laugh, and at least he didn’t feel ill. He looked at Geordie, realizing the man wasn’t meeting his gaze, and he furrowed his brow. It wasn’t exactly the first time, but it only ever happened when Geordie got overly emotional with him. That couldn’t be it though, considering he didn’t even remember last night.
“Everything alright?” he asked, pushing himself to the edge of the bed and pressing his feet on to the cold hardwood floor.
“Of course. I’ll wait for you outside, we can get something to eat.” Geordie hesitated before turning around and leaving the room.
Sidney sighed a little, rubbing his eyes again, and looked around at the motel room as he got up, grabbing his button up off the chair. He hoped Geordie hadn’t slept on the chair and had gotten a separate room for himself.
He walked to the bathroom, turning on the sink and splashing some water on his face, trying to sober himself more. He thought hard about last night.
Geordie wrapped his arm around Sidney as he stumbled out of the pub. Sidney stumbled, pushing him into the wall as consequence, a small laugh leaving him as Geordie gave a huff of annoyance.
Sidney sniffed, lifting his head up and looking into the mirror, wishing he could remember anything else. At least anything that would have Geordie acting so awkward around him. He stood buttoning up his shirt and left the boarding house, finding Geordie leaning against the wall with a cigarette hanging from his mouth as he tried to get his lighter to go.
Sidney felt around his pockets grabbing the lighter he carried with him. He walked over, flicking it on and holding it up for Geordie. The man looked at him, hesitating before letting him light it. Nodding a silent thanks, Geordie looked toward the ground as he took the first drag.
“You sure everything’s okay, Geordie?” Sidney asked, worry slipping into his voice.
“Right as rain—” he blew out a bit of smoke, “—let's go see if we can find somewhere to eat in the blasted city.”
Sidney chuckled a little. “London’s not so bad.”
“Say’s you.” He started down the street, Sidney joining after him.
They walked in silence, Sidney taking the time to rack his brain about last night, eventually just giving up. Trying to force it would get him nowhere, hopefully it would just come back as the haze lifted.
After an awkward late breakfast, they caught a train back to Cambridge and parted ways. Sidney figured Geordie would get over whatever he wasn’t telling him… or at least eventually open up to him about what was bothering him.
──✧❅✦❅✧──
A week had gone by, and Geordie still hadn’t said anything, but he also hadn’t stopped acting weird. Sidney wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed; it was hard to force a man like Geordie to open up, but it usually didn’t take this long to at least try and talk to him.
It was getting bad. Geordie would make up excuses not to go to the pub with him, would cut conversations short, and, more than a few times, he had seen him leave places to avoid Sidney all together.
“Isn’t he usually… distant?” Leonard said when Sidney had talked to him about it.
“Not like this.” He shook his head. “He usually opens up in his own time, but I’m starting to think I did something.”
“And you don’t remember that night at all?”
Sidney shook his head again, reaching down to pet Dickens, tugging at an old sock they had made into a toy for the troublesome dog to play with.
“I wish I did, ‘would make this easier.”
“Why don’t you just ask him?” Leonard asked.
“I’ve tried, he just dodges the question… or says nothing happened.” Sidney gave a frustrated groan tilting his head back.
“Then…” Leonard hesitated a little, “Maybe, don’t give him a choice?” At Sidney’s confused look he continued, “ Trap him somewhere? Or is that too aggressive? ”
Sidney thought about it for a moment, “Maybe… but it might get me somewhere, thanks.”
Leonard smiled, happy just to be of help to Sidney.
Sidney slowly walked into the constabulary, hoping Geordie was in his office. “Peters, is Georide in?” He whispered, leaning forward a little.
“Yeah… Why are we whispering? ”
“No reason.” He cleared his throat and walked past the man, letting himself into Geordie’s office like he had a million times before.
Geordie looked up and quickly looked back down to his stack of papers, shifting to make it look like he had been doing something. “I’m busy Sidney,” he said, “Is it importan…” he trailed off, as the sound of the lock clicking caught his attention.
“We need to talk, Geordie.” Sidney said carefully.
“What, so you lock me in?” For the first time since that morning Geordie was actually meeting his gaze. He was definitely annoyed, but it was progress right?
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He leaned against the door and crossed his arms.
“I’ve just been busy.”
“ Oh, don’t give me that. ” Sidney rolled his eyes. “Now you’re either going to tell me what happened, or we’re staying in here till you do.”
Geordie looked away from him, Sidney could see the wheels turning as he tried to figure out how to get out of this. “I could have you arrested for wrongful imprisonment.”
Sidney shrugged, but didn’t say anything, making it clear he wasn’t going to move or let Geordie out of this conversation.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“If I did something that hurt you, or made you uncomfortable I want to know so I can fix it.”
“It’s not… it won’t help if you know Sidney, it’ll make it worse,” Geordie said, looking at him, silently begging him to drop the subject.
Sidney moved away from the door and sat down, “I want my friend back Geordie… I want you back, I miss you… Whatever it is, I'm sure we can fix it, but I have to know what happened.”
Geordie sighed and got up, grabbing two glasses and the whiskey off the table behind him. Pouring them both a drink slowly, he took the time to gather his words. “ Fine, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you. ” He downed his glass in one go before pouring another and sitting down. “Christ … where do I start… ”
“The beginning’s always a good place.”
──✧❅✦❅✧──
Geordie walked into the pub trying to find Sidney after Amanda had called him worried about what had happened — apparently they had an argument of some sort, him and Guy had fought, Whatever it was it didn't matter, Georide promised he’d check on him.
He spotted the taller man at the end of the bar, a glass of whisky limp in his hand. He looked all out of sorts. Geordie sighed a little and walked over to him, clasping his shoulder, making the priest look at him.
“Geordie!” Sidney attempted to stand only to immediately almost fall, forcing Geordie to press his hands into the other’s shoulders and steady him.
“Easy… I think you’ve had enough,” he said gently, easily prying the half empty glass out of his hand before he spilt it on him.
“C’mon’ Geordie, yer’ no fun, drink with me,” he goaded, but Geordie shook his head, setting the glass down and out of Sidney’s reach, making the taller pout.
“Enough, Sid… let’s go find a place to rest,” he said, sliding his arm around Sidney’s waist to start guiding the drunken man out.
“Fine but… but only ‘fer you.” he slurred, leaning heavily on Geordie as they walked, “Stronger than you look.” Sidney chuckled.
“Don’t get smart, I’ll drop you.”
That only earned another giggled from Sidney, the man lost his footing, pushing both of them into the wall of a shop, Sidney catching himself with his hand so he didn’t crash completely into Geordie. He giggled again, and looked down at Geordie, the giggle dying down a little.
“Anyone ever told you, you have… pretty eyes Geordie?” he asked, his tone a little more serious.
Geordie felt his face burn and he quickly shook it off, grabbing Sidney to keep them walking, “Don’t say stuff like that,” he scolded.
“God teaches us not to lie…”
“Then don’t lie, just don’t say it.”
Geordie managed to find a boarding house that was still open at the late hour.
“Well… I can rent you a room for the night, but the only one I have left only has one bed,” the plump lady who opened the door said.
“That’s fine, I’ll just… sleep on the floor, or chair”
“Alright, c’mon”
Geordie paid, and the lady showed them to the room. He thanked her again and closed the door. Sidney had managed to walk a bit on his own and was leaning against the wall, but when Geordie turned around Sidney was in front of him, pressing his hands into the door on either side of him.
“Meant what I said Geordie…” he said, his voice a tone the older had never heard before. “You’re too handsome for your own good…” He licked his lips.
Geordie opened and closed his mouth a few times, not entirely sure how to act like this, especially when he could feel heat spreading through his body. That wasn’t how he should be reacting to this, if anything his instinct should be to hit Sidney… shouldn’t it?
“I want to do… so many sinful things with you…” He moved closer, shifting the weight from his hands to his forearms as they pressed against the cold door.
“Sidney we should… get you to bed,” Geordie finally managed, though neither one made a move.
“Will you be joining me?” he asked. “Kinda small… we'll have to press real close together,” he purred.
Geordie’s breath hitched. He needs to get a hold of himself, this was Sidney! His friend, his partner, he couldn’t let this continue… it had already gone too far.
Before Geordie could think anything else a pair of lips found his. Internally, he wished he hesitated for even a second, froze just for a moment, but his reaction was only to grab Sidney’s shirt and pull him closer, deepening the kiss, the taste of cheap whiskey and cigarettes fresh on the priest’s tongue.
He lost himself for longer than he cared to admit, before quickly pushing Sidney away, groaning at the whimper the younger let out when he lost contact. He panted a little.
“Bed, Sidney,” he said. “ Now. ” He pointed to the bed.
Sidney stood for a moment, leaning against the wall with a pout, before listening, stumbling over to the bed and laying down.
Geordie swallowed, running his hands through his hair, mind racing with what just happened. How on earth was he going to handle this tomorrow? His eye landed on Sidney, seeing the man had already clocked out. He moved slowly and sunk down in the arm chair in the corner of the room, closing his eyes.
──✧❅✦❅✧──
A silence fell over the two of them that not even the background noise of the officers working could cut through. Tension filling the room, threatening to suffocate Sidney. How was he supposed to react to this information? What was he supposed to say?
“ Well, now you know… ” Geordie grumbled, taking a drag from his cigarette he’d lit while recounting the night.
Sidney opened and closed his mouth a few times, his mind racing. Part of him wanted to be honest with Geordie, tell him that what happened wasn’t entirely to blame on the alcohol, but the thought of losing Geordie terrified him, he knew it terrified the other as well.
“Geordie I—”
“Sidney…” he cut him off looking at the man with a pained expression. “I… The reason I’ve been avoiding you isn’t… it’s not because of what you did.”
He sat up straight, he hadn’t even touched a drop of the whiskey Geordie had given him, “What?” he asked.
“I…” he stopped, terrified of admitting it.
“Geordie?” Sidney set the glass down and reached across the table, grasping his hand. They had held hands many times, touched many times, but it felt different now… tainted in a way, yet he didn’t move his hand. “Talk to me please… I wanna fix this.”
Geordie shook his head, “You can’t… I can’t… Sidney,” his voice shook. He hated how easy he found it to be vulnerable around the priest.
Sidney moved to let go of Geordie's hand but the man’s grip tightened to keep him there, so he stayed. They sat in silence in the semi-privacy of Geordie's office, sounds of typewriters and footsteps bleeding into their little bubble.
“I like you… Geordie,” Sidney finally said, looking down at their hands on the desk. “More than a Vicar should like another man… It’s hard to be friends with you some days, but I’m not sure I could actually survive without you anymore.”
Geordie looked at him, blinking a few tears out that had been gathering in his eyes. In a few quick motions he stood, grabbing Sidney by his shirt and pulling him up to press their lips together in a desperate kiss, clumsy, uncomfortable but Geordie just needed to feel his lips against his again.
The kiss ended quickly; the frosted windows of his office only provided so much security, if anyone had been watching closely they might have been able to guess what was happening.
Sidney looked at Geordie, mouth parted slightly, eyes searching the other's face for something. Geordie straightened his tie, and looked down at his desk, still standing.
“I’m terrified,” Geordie started, “of this, of losing you, of everything at the moment, it feels…”
“ So am I… ” Sidney said.
“Your book says something about this right?”
“So do the laws you uphold.”
Silence fell over them, leaving both to think about what they just did, what they both confessed. Sidney broke the silence though;
“I’m willing to be a sinner and a criminal if it means being with you,” Sidney declared, looking up at Geordie.
“You’d risk hell for me?”
“Geordie, I’d risk everything for you . ”
A breath caught in his throat. “Then I suppose there’s no excuse,” he said.
Sidney smiled softly and stood. “We can talk more later, I should go before someone wonders why I’ve been here for so long.”
“They’re used to it by now,” Geordie replied, waving his hand a little. “But I suppose you have other duties, as always.”
Sidney nodded. “ As always. ”
“Can I… Come over tonight? For dinner maybe?”
“Yeah… Yeah I’d like that.”