Work Text:
Uenoyama couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t know much about Mafuyu’s past, especially his relationship with Yuki. He did know how it made him feel though. He felt jealous. He felt insecure at times. He couldn’t understand what Mafuyu liked about him.
“I mean honestly, I’m not good at expressing my feelings, I have a temper at times, and Yuki was his first love” thought Ritsuka far too often.
Ever since Mafuyu had stayed the night and was consumed with thoughts of Yuki, just by looking at his clock, Uenoyama knew he needed to take action to ensure Mafuyu would be comfortable staying at his house again, or even just coming by to work on music together.
A couple days had passed. Uenoyama and Mafuyu were leaving a long band practice together. Ritsuka was tired but Mafuyu seemed low. “Uenoyama, is it okay if I come to your house? My mom isn’t home and I don’t want to be alone.” With red across his cheeks, Uenoyama’s hands became clammy and he stuttered “uh uh… can we go to your house instead? My, my room is a disaster.” The smallest of head nods indicated that this plan was okay with Mafuyu. Ritsuka didn’t want to tell Mafuyu the real reason he didn’t want him to come to his own home… that damned clock he still had hanging in his bedroom.
As the two boys approached Mafuyu’s apartment building, Uenoyama grabbed Mafuyu’s wrist lightly and pulled him towards him to face him. “Mafuyu, are you okay? You seemed off today at practice. Don’t get me wrong, you sounded great but I could tell your entire self wasn’t in it. I know we don’t talk about feelings that much because we both suck at talking about that kinda stuff, but I want you to know I’m here for you, if you want to talk or even if you don’t.” Uenoyama grabbed the back of his neck and blushed. Mafuyu looked at his feet with a sad smile on his face then looked up at Ritsuka. “I’ll be okay. I just saw something in a shop window that reminded me of Yuki as we were walking to the studio. We don’t need to get into it though.” Mafuyu began to walk away from Uenoyama to fidget with his key ring to open the front door but quickly stopped in his tracks, faced Uenoyama, wrapped his arms around his stomach, and buried his face into Ritsuka’s chest. Uenoyama stiffened for a second and then held Mafuyu’s head against his chest and kissed him on the top of his ginger hair. “Thank you for checking in on me” said the muffled voice of Mafuyu.
Inside, Uenoyama was overcome with the smell of Mafuyu EVERYWHERE. He really did love his scent, though he didn’t think he’d ever say that aloud. Removing their shoes, both boys greeted the small white dog excited to see them.
After fetching some tea for them, Mafuyu led Uenoyama to his bedroom. Feeling awkward still in their relationship, both boys sat in silence for some minutes until Uenoyama spoke first. “So, um, have any plans for the weekend?” With a “are you serious?” smirk on his face, Mafuyu giggled and grabbed Ritsuka’s hand. “Did you forget that we were going to the music store together?” Sliding his hand down his face in embarrassment, Uenoyama nods. “Oh right, yeah. Sorry. I forgot. My mind’s been a bit foggy lately.”
“Is everything okay?” says Mafuyu, tilting his head to the side and looking at Ritsuka. “Hmm. Everything’s okay. So, what do you want to do?” Uenoyama didn’t think telling his boyfriend that he’d been thinking about the stupid clock in his bedroom since he stayed over would be healthy or beneficial for either of them today. He really needed to do something about it.
After a few hours of them playing Mario Kart and doing homework together… and stealing small glances and kisses at one another, Uenoyama needed to head home. “This was really fun, Uenoyama. Thank you for coming over to hang out with me.”
“Yeah, sure thing. I saw a whole new side of you today. I didn’t think you would be one to be so competitive over a video game race. But it was nice seeing new sides of you” Uenoyama said, blushing.
With a small backhand smack on Ritsuka’s chest, Mafuyu smiled and giggled. “I get very serious when it comes to these things. Anyway, I’ll walk you out.”
At the front door, Uenoyama grabs Mafuyu by the hem of his T-shirt and pulls him into him. Slightly stumbling, Mafuyu catches himself on Ritsuka’s chest and looks up at his raven haired boyfriend. Cupping Mafuyu’s face, Uenoyama leans in to give a soft kiss to his gorgeous boyfriend. “I’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll meet at our usual place at the train station.” Mafuyu nods in agreement.
Thinking about his day with Mafuyu, Ritsuka walks to the train station to head home. He really did enjoy himself, he thought. After waiting for 40 minutes, he finally boards the train for home. A little zoned out, he thinks about the clock that’s been taking up so much space in his mind. “I’ll throw it out when I get home. I really want Mafuyu to come over soon.”
As he gets home, Ritsuka is greeted by his sister. Well, not so much greeted as much as scolded by his sister for not getting home in time to make them dinner.
“Hey, Yayoi, this is really random but can we switch bedroom clocks?” Confused by the question, his sister sits up and looks at him. “That is random. Why does it matter?”
“Great, now I’ll have to share my feelings. I’m such an idiot,” Ritsuka thinks to himself.
Ritsuka then begins to ramble. “It’s not important. Or, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we though… please? I was going to buy a new one but I have plans with Mafuyu tomorrow to go the music store and I really don’t have the extra cash laying around to buy a new one. I just need to get rid of the one I have now. For… reasons.”
With one eyebrow raised, Yayoi is confused but gives in. “Sure. I don’t really care. Mine’s purple though, just so you know. Might give your room some more flavor at least.”
Embarassed, Ritsuka thanks his sister and throws a pizza in the oven for them.
Later that night, Yayoi knocks on her brother’s bedroom door to switch clocks. Not having heard her first, or her second knock, due to his noise cancelling headphones, she barges in and places the clock on his desk with annoyance. She then grabs his gray clock and leaves the room.
Ritsuka lies in bed, thinking about how excited he is to hang out with Mafuyu tomorrow. Panic rushes him. “Wait, is this a date?! I mean, we’ve been to the music store before together… but not since I kissed him.. not since we’ve kissed… on multiple occasions. This must be a date. Dammit.” Nerves wrecked him as he watched the time tick by on the clock that now sat upon his wall. Smaller than his old one, he could notice where the rim of the old clock had rested. Uenoyama decided that this wasn’t important enough to worry about and just wanted to get some sleep so he could give Mafuyu is undivided attention tomorrow on their… date? Band mates shopping trip? “I’ll worry about that tomorrow” he thought as he dozed off.
The morning sun burned through the curtains of Uenoyama’s room and directly on his face, waking him up. Grabbing his phone, he sees a message from his boyfriend.
Attached to the text is a picture of Mafuyu’s small dog. “Hey. Good morning. I’ll meet you at our spot at 10:30. Don’t be late! Can’t wait to see you.”
Re-reading Mafuyu’s text, Uenoyama decides that this is in fact a date of sorts. Looking at the clock, Uenoyama sees that he has a couple hours before he needs to start heading out. He decides to roll over and try to sleep a little longer.
By the time 9:30 rolls around, Ritsuka is running a little behind. He definitely slept too late. “Idiot” he thinks to himself. Rushing to shower and get ready, he’s out the door in twenty five minutes.
“The next train will be departing in five minutes time” says the announcer just as Uenoyama makes it to the station. Still needing to rush, he quickly heads to his platform. Out of breath and feeling a little sweaty, he becomes nervous.
“I can’t see Mafuyu like this. He always smells so nice. I smell like sweat and regret” he says a little too loudly for the people waiting around him, blush rushing his cheeks.
Before walking to the ticket counter where he’ll meet Mafuyu, he heads to the bathroom to freshen up. Thinking he smells more bareable, he breaths on his hand to check his breath. “Minty fresh” he says to the bathroom mirror.
Running ten minutes late, Uenoyama finally sees his ginger boyfriend waiting for him. “Mafuyu, I’m sorry. I overslept and then by the time I got to the train station I…” Stopping himself to not reveal his embarrassing story about needing to not be so sweaty in the presence of his sweet smelling boyfriend, he continues. “I’m sorry.”
Grabbing his boyfriend’s hand to intertwine with his own, Mafuyu looks at Uenoyama. “I knew you’d be a little late so I downloaded some of the songs Kaji let me borrow to my phone. I’ve just been listening to them while I wait for you. So no worries.” Mafuyu smiles and gives Uenoyama a kiss on the forehead. Uenoyama blushes, still not confident in his sexuality and showing displays of affection in public. Nevertheless, he kisses Mafuyu on the cheek just before they head to their destination.
At the music shop, Ritsuka and Mafuyu browse. Mafuyu spots a pair of headphones that would be good for him to use at home so he can practice his guitar and not bother his mom. “Uenoyama, do these look good? I really want to play at home more but I don’t want to annoy my mom with the loud sounds.” Ritsuka immediately looks at the price of the headphones and nods his head. “There’s no way you’re getting those. Look at the price.” Shocked, Mafuyu puts them down and looks sad. “Shit, I didn’t mean to make him feel bad. I want him to have these things that make him happy in his playing but I also don’t want him to blow all his money either,” Uenoyama thinks to himself. “Hey, Maf, how about we go to the used store? The one where you got your pedal.” Mafuyu’s face brightens with a “Sure!!”
Outside, Mafuyu stops Uenoyama from walking. “So, Maf, huh?” Stunned, Uenoyama looks down and his cheeks turn pink. “I..I didn’t.. I mean. Sorry.” Mafuyu grabs Uenoyama’s wrist. “Sorry? Why are you sorry? It’s really cute that you’re the first to give out a nickname. I like it.”
Embarassed, Uenoyama turns his head away but the pink on his cheeks remain. “Okay, enough of that, Mafuyu, let’s go.” He grabs Mafuyu’s hand and speeds walk to the used store. Mafuyu trails him giggling.
Luckily, Uenoyama spots the headphones that Mafuyu was looking at. And even luckier, they’re a third of the price. Mafuyu’s face lights up as he purchases his new headphones. Uenoyama realizes that he could’ve let Mafuyu borrow his, then he could’ve had an excuse to bring Mafuyu around to his house but he’s glad that Mafuyu is able to have things of his own related to music. He smiles to himself while his boyfriend fills out the receipt.
Walking out of the shop, Uenoyama’s stomach growls pretty loudly. “Eh, sorry. I didn’t have time to grab anything for breakfast since I overslept.”
“Then let’s go get some lunch. Afterwards, do you want to come over to my house,?” Mafuyu asks.
“Actually, I was gonna ask if you wanted to come to mine, since I went to yours yesterday.” Realizing the lie he told Mafuyu the prior day, he quickly adds, “I cleaned up my room last night after dinner.”
“Oh, um. Yeah, I’d love to” Mafuyu says with glee in his voice.
Knowing that Mafuyu just dropped some cash on headphone, Uenoyama offers to pay for lunch. “Wow, this really is a date now” he thinks to himself and blushes slightly. They grab their food, sit at a small table and talk about their next gig, when they’ll play basketball again, and how each other’s school work is going. It feels like a date but also not a date, which Uenoyama really loves because he’s still self conscious about dating.
With full bellies of lunch, the raven haired boy and ginger haired boy head to the train station. After an uneventful ride, they get to Uenoyama’s stop.
Just as they begin approaching Uenoyama’s front door, Ritsuka becomes overwhelmed but tries not to show it. “He’s actually coming over. The clock isn’t there anymore. What if he thinks I got rid of it because I didn’t want any part of Yuki around? What if he wanted it there to remind him of Yuki? What if I made a terrible mistake in removing it?” In his own head, Mafuyu notices and grabs his hand gently to pull him away from his thoughts. “Uenoyama, are you okay?” Startled by his boyfriend’s voice, he shakes his thoughts away for a moment. “Um yeah. Sorry. Let’s go inside before the rain starts.”
After removing their shoes, both boys head into Uenoyama’s room before anyone can intercept them.
Inside, Mafuyu isn’t sure where to sit. Uenoyama notices and pulls his desk chair out for him. “You can sit here. Or, I can sit there and you can sit on my bed. Whichever works. I’m fine with either” he says, slightly blushing.
Mafuyu gives him a small smile and leans in to give his boyfriend a gentle kiss. “We can go sit on the bed. I wouldn’t mind.”
Flustered, Uenoyama grabs the back of his neck. “Um. I. Um. Sure, I guess.” Ritsuka knew how awkward he was being. He’d never had a relationship before and he didn’t know what it was like to be so close to someone in this way. He also knew that Mafuyu had been. He’d even been in love. A cast of jealousy washed over him. He gulped and sat down on his bed next to Mafuyu.
In silence, Mafuyu looked at Ritsuka and put his hand out, palm up, and waited for Uenoyama to put his hand in his. With some time, he did. Breaking the silence, Mafuyu spoke first. “Your room is really tidy. I’ve only seen it a couple times but it looks nice. Simple but still you.”
“Uh, thanks. My life feels busy and chaotic at times so I like my space to be calming” says Uenoyama.
Ritsuka then notices Mafuyu glancing around the room, as if he’s taking it all in. He’d been here before but the only times were at night, after band practice and they were both too tired to function.
Just as Uenoyama is about to stand up to grab them some tea, Mafuyu squeezes his hand a little more tightly. “Mafuyu, are.. are you alright? What’s up?”
Mafuyu turns his head with tears welling up in his eyes. Uenoyama grabs his boyfriend’s face suddently. “Mafuyu, what’s going on, man? Talk to me. Please.”
Uenoyama looks up at where Mafuyu is looking.
The clock.
The clock that Mafuyu said Yuki had.
The clock that reminded Mafuyu of Yuki while he slept in his boyfriend’s bedroom.
Something as simple as a clock that made Uenoyama jealous of someone that wasn’t even here.
A clock that Uenoyama wanted to rid his bedroom of not because of his jealousy but because he didn’t want his boyfriend to keep looking like he was going to cry around him all the time. “I want something that’s between us that doesn’t bring Yuki into it anymore. I know that’s probably selfish but Mafuyu chose me. He said he loved me. And I think I feel the same way. I don’t care that it’s selfish. I think it’s okay to be selfish,” he thought to himself while looking between the new clock on the wall and Mafuyu’s tear soaked face.
Mafuyu finally spoke. “Where, where did your old clock go?”
Looking at Mafuyu, he couldn’t decipher what he was thinking based on his face alone. He had to ask.
Grabbing his neck, he spoke. “Uhm, I got rid of it. Actually I switched with Yayoi.”
Mafuyu buried his face into his hands and began sobbing harder.
“SHIT!” thought Uenoyama. “He hates that I got rid of it. It reminded him of Yuki and it’s like I just tossed Yuki out. What the hell is wrong with me??” Worry took over Uenoyama’s face and he too buried his face into his hands.
Mafuyu felt a sudden movement on the bed and looked over at Uenoyama, his face buried into his hands. He touched his boyfriend’s shoulder to pull him out of it.
Uenoyama, shocked, looked up at his cute ginger boyfriend. “Mafuyu, I’m so sorry. I felt so sick after you told me that Yuki had that same clock. You looked so sad. I didn’t want you to be sad when you came over to my house. I wanted this place to be just for us. I know Yuki is everywhere with you. And I’m okay with that, really. I just wanted this to be ours. I’m sorry. It was selfish. I wasn’t trying to rid you of Yuki. I just didn’t want you to be sad with me. Maf, I’m so sorry.”
Before Uenoyama could say his late word, Mafuyu threw his arms around his boyfriend and kissed him deeply. They could feel each other’s wet faces as they continued to kiss one another.
Coming up for air, Mafuyu began to speak. “Ue, you’re wrong. You couldn’t be more wrong. I was surprised to see the clock was gone. But not in a bad way. It was like a release in a way. It gave me comfort to know that you thought of me. I want what you want. I remember you telling me that I look like I want to cry anytime I’m with you. For some time, that was true. When I saw that clock the first time I slept over, I felt that way. I didn’t want to feel that way but it was kind of inescapable, especially when something he owned was staring at me through the night. But you have no idea how much it means to me that you cared enough about me, about us, to get rid of it. I want you to be selfish when it comes to me. I chose you, Ue. I love you.” Mafuyu began to sweetly tear up again and grabbed his boyfriend to embrace him again.
Uenoyama sniffled and buried his face into Mafuyu’s shoulder. “Mafuyu, you shortened my name. Just like I did with you.” Uenoyama chuckles and looks up at his boyfriend’s eyes. Mafuyu begins to giggle and they then grab each other’s faces and give one another light kisses that develop into deeper ones.
Gently pushing Mafuyu back on his bed, Uenoyama continues to kiss his boyfriend while hovering over him. He pauses, looks at his boyfriend who’s now blushing, leans down and whispers into his ear,”Maf, I love you too.”