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Sara was talking with a cop, Ava was talking to a different cop. Five-year-old Lori, three-year-old Rip, and one-year-old Aoife were in the back of a social worker's car.
Two fire trucks were currently putting out the blaze of the abandoned building currently on fire.
Ray, Nora, and their child Damien were also speaking with the police.
Quentin was in the back of a cop car after deciding that arguing with a cop was a good idea.
Laurel 2 and Nyssa were picking the lock on the social worker’s car and sneaking the children out and into their own car.
Mick was keeping some cops at bay with his fire gun.
Nate was in full Steel mode, costume included trying to get the police to leave it to him.
John Constantine was leaning on a car smoking having lit his cigarette off the burning building.
On the empty space by the building was a large cake decorated to look like Beebo with ‘Happy 5th Birthday Lori’ written on it in icing while a pile of wrapped presents lay around.
In the corner of the lot was a popped bouncy castle. A few tables had liquor bottles and plates of food smashed to the ground and a keg of beer burning.
Gary was running around in a still-smoking headless Beebo costume.
…Five hours earlier…
Ava was going over the checklist making sure they had everything for the party.
“Your Dad called, he has the tables set up. Nate, Zari, and Behard are taking care of the food minus the cake but your mom said she has that taken care of. We have the Beebo suit in the car, still not sure who is going in that-”
“Don’t worry about that. I have that planned out. Gary is going in it.”
“He agreed?”
“Not yet but if he thinks he’s coming to this party and not going to it he has another thing coming. If he argues, you just have to ask him to and he’ll do it. What about the bouncy castle?”
“It will be delivered and set up a half hour before the party starts. Ray has the reinforced pinata. He also has some weapons to use to break it since a wooden bat won’t work. Your Mom is bringing the booze, why do we need alcohol for a child’s birthday party again?”
“Because you said no weed. But also because we need fun for the adults.” Sara stressed. “If we don’t supply it, Mick and John at least will sneak in their own.”
“Fair. We have the canopy area for the tots and the nursing station. Are we missing anything?”
“Just the kids.”
“What are the odds that we can have every Legend meet up and not have it result in chaos?”
“Decently, I mean look at Jax’s 4th of July BBQ, that was fine.”
“There was an explosion because Mick thought it would be fun to set off all the fireworks at the same time and John made them better with dark magic . They broke open a portal to hell, which we missed because we were in Jax’s shed getting it on but it is still giving Lori nightmares.”
“Not our fault, they had Peppa Pig playing for the kids. You can’t make me listen to that theme song and not immediately want to sneak off for a quickie with you.”
“We need to stop Pavloving ourselves with things we use to distract the kids. Do you have the diaper bags packed?”
“No. I was busy feeding your children so I didn’t pack them. Also, I think it’s ridiculous that we need 3 backpacking bags as diaper bags. Most people can use just 1 regular diaper bag for three kids.”
“We have this argument every time I ask you to pack the diaper bags.” Ava sighed. “Also stop calling them my kids. They are our kids.”
“Because when I pack them you tell me I didn’t do it right.”
“Mama! Efy is crying!” Lori screamed out from her playroom.
“I’ll go get her and pack the bag. Can you please change Rip? He has juice all over his shirt.”
“But I didn’t give him any juice today.” Sara sighed.
…
They went to the destination where the bouncy castle was just getting blown up.
Lori was in her car seat freaking out.
“I need to get out!” She was pulling at her straps.
“Hang on baby let Mama stop the car first.” Ava found it adorable how excited Lori was.
“Me too!” Rip yelled.
Aoife just cried in her car seat.
“Just like thirty more seconds guys. Lori, Rip why don’t you guys count to thirty?” Sara tried to calm them down as she parallel-parked between her parents’ cars.
As soon as Sara turned the car off, Ava hopped out and started to get the kids out while Sara went to the trunk to unload their ridiculous diaper bags and everything else they brought for the party.
“There is the Birthday Girl!” Dinah cheered picking up Lori who clung to her grandmother with the tightest grip.
“Gammy!” Lori screamed in pure excitement.
“We have everything set up so you two can relax, now I’m going to take Aoife, and Quentin is taking Rip so you guys can focus on the birthday girl and the party.”
…
The older kids were in the bouncy castle going absolutely buck wild.
Somehow instead of just jumping and enjoying the pure joy that is bouncing around, they were playing clearly some kind of deathmatch game. Nora West-Allen and Damien Palmer were throwing each other around, Lori had jumped and slammed her elbow into Mia’s stomach. Mia in response was trying to see what Lori would look like sans hair.
Martina had jumped on Damien and was using his hair like a set of reins trying to direct him which way to go. The Diggle Twins were tag-teaming anyone who even attempted to bounce tackle one of them.
Felicity kept calling out to Mia for her to be gentle, only for Sara to constantly remind her that it wasn’t fair for only Mia to have to be gentle since all the kids were hellbent on trying out for the WWE Tot Divison.
Lyla and Dig chuckled into their beers knowing how useless it was to try otherwise with just words.
“Look at their parents. Are we really able to tell them to ‘play gently’? I mean I know Lori just saw me punch Mick in the jaw two minutes ago.”
“Why did you punch him?” Dig had to ask.
“He brought a weak ass beer. I mean beer is weak enough as it is but a 3.2% one? That’s water. I’d let Lori drink that.”
“Ava needs a medal for putting with up all the Legends, including you.” Felicity joked.
“Funny enough, she gave us medals. It was all top secret so we couldn’t actually show them to people but I think they’re in a box in the basement still from the move.”
“Of course, you have a medal for saving the world and it's in a box in a basement.” Felicity thought it was perfect for Sara she never needed or wanted credit.
…
Across the lot, Nora and Ray were hanging up the pinata, a Beeboo made of a combination of wood, aluminum, and copper. A steel baseball bat is on the ground near it.
“I took the notes from last year and I think I found one that not even Nate can break with just one swing. This is the masterpiece of the Time Bros.”
“Party games, at children’s parties are not for Time Bros, it's for the kids.”
“At Damien’s parties, yes. But look, Sara always has a bar. This is just as much for the adults.” Ray pointed out.
“It’s not though. This thing-” She kicked the metal Pianta with her foot. “Is filled with candy, glitter stickers, and fairy wands. It’s for kids.”
“Well you have a fairy wand, we both love candy and I have a glitter sticker on my cheek. So…”
“Okay, you put this up yourself, I’m going to find Ava.”
“Have fun!” Ray beamed.
…
Ava, Mona, and Nora each had a glass of wine in their hands as they took in the chaos.
Constantine snuck up behind Ava and whispered in her ear.
“I’m sure your planning covered all of this Sharpie, but see, I had some friends follow me and they’re wondering where best to set up the sex swing and the 300-gallon tank of lube. I’m assuming out of the view of children?”
“If you’re not joking John I am going to kill you.” Ava groaned.
“Sure, yeah. Just joking. Where’s the lass? Got her some treats.”
“Just lay them on the gift table and please tell me there isn’t a box with air holes.”
“Oh, no not air holes. It could sneak out.” He greeted the other women before heading to the table.
“Tell me he is just trying to piss me off and you can see a very obviously normal present that isn’t like some baby dragon.” Ava pleaded with the women.
“No, it should be fine.” Mona tried to reassure her.
“The gifts he’s given Damien have been normal. I mean one was a copy of Go the Fuck to Sleep, thinking it was literally for children, but still. He tried.”
“See if I knew that every gift was going to be dangerous or magic related, no problem each time he gives a gift we put it in a trunk that is blessed by a priest or something. But sometimes he gives them these sweet, thoughtful, appropriate gifts. Like I know Mick is gonna give them something not at all for kids, but something he knows they would absolutely love if we ever let them have it. I mean he gave Sara a coaster from the bar they went to during their first mission, which of course they started a bar fight in.”
“Mom! Mommy come here! See how high I can jump!” Lori screamed out.
“I’m coming!” Ava called back. “If you’ll excuse me.”
As soon as Ava could see the bouncy house she saw Lori, clinging to the window mesh, having found some finger holds in the gaps between the strings, high up in a corner.
In the other three corners, Mia and the Diggle twins were waiting.
Lori grinned before she nodded to the other 3 as they waited on the floor of the bounce house. She let go of the walls and dropped down, the bounce from her landing caused the three kids to go flying, almost hitting the roof of the house before landing and double bouncing Lori up high into the roof where she gripped the netting and began to hang from it.
Before Ava could warn her to be careful, the netting of the roof started to rip.
Lori fell to the ground with a thump and instantly bounced right back up.
“And there goes the deposit.” Ava sighed. She knew deep down that by the end of the day, she would own this bounce house from misuse.
…
The former and current heroes were gathered around the pinata, the kids were in front of their parents while the civilians and young kids were further back.
Ray was standing next to his creation, a big grin on his face.
“Now this Beebo is filled with candy, glitter stickers, and fairy wands! This is made of three types of metal and some very special binders recently invented by me for this very purpose. However, this Beebo, is filled with nothing but organs, skin, blood, and whatever else is used to keep Beebo alive.” Ray used his ion cannon and the shrunken Gary in the Beebo suit was now back to lifesize. “Kids please have fun and play with Beebo while the adults attempt to destroy the pianta Beebo, before it is your turn to attack the candy-filled Blue Fuzzball we all know and love.”
Ava leaned in to whisper into Sara’s ear.
“Did you ask Ray to take over this part of the party?”
“Nope. Literally just asked him to make the pinata. He took over all this, all on his own. I would’ve gone, kid, adult, kid, adult, not all the adults then the kids.” Sara explained to her wife.
“He clearly didn’t run this past Nora.”
“Oh yeah, she wouldn’t allow this.”
Nate was first up grabbing the tungsten bat. He steeled up and got into position flexing his hands over the bat as he wound up.
When the bat connected with Beebo, a loud DONG rang out but nothing broke free of the metal Beebo.
“My turn.” Mick grinned holding up his fire gun and lining it up.
Sara grabbed Ray and pulled him closer to her.
“You insulated the prizes right? We can heat up the pinata without the toys and candy melting?”
“Oh yeah. Not having that happened again.” Ray reassured her.
Mick fired his gun, the blue fuzzed was burned and smelled absolutely horrible while the structure stayed in one piece. Mick holstered his gun before grabbing the bat and slamming it hard into the pinata. Again nothing came loose and he grunted before going back to his drink and letting the bat fall to the ground.
Dig took out his gun before getting glared at by most of the people in the yard.
“You know that bullet will ricochet if you fire at that metal.” Lyla scolded him.
“Which is why I gave him one that is magnetic. It’ll literally stick to the metal.” Ray reassured everyone.
“So the bullet can’t go through the pinata?” Dig put the gun away. “I’ll just use the bat.”
Laurel looked over at Nyssa. “What are you going to use? Sword? Catapult? Spiked Mace?”
“I was going to use my bow to fire the bat into it.”
“Huh.”
“You?”
“I’m the closing act. I can match the vibration of the steel and cause it to, well go poof.”
“Can you now?”
“Wanna bet?”
“The usual?”
“Why not. Well go on, go use your bow. I’ll wait for everyone else to take a turn before I destroy it.”
Before Nyssa could walk over to get the bat, Zari had it in her hands. She used a combination of the air totem and her own arm strength to cause the bat to hit the pinata at hurricane speeds.
It caused a small crack a fact which made Laurel frown.
Nyssa went to their car and grabbed her bow and some rope.
When she came to claim the back, she tied one of her knives to the top of the bat.
“I thought you said you were going to use the bow to shoot the bat?” Laurel raised an eyebrow.
“I am. I never said I wouldn’t use a knife to pinpoint a weak spot.”
“Cheat.”
“Now now, no need to be so petulant.” Nyssa smirked. “Just get ready to fight children for candy.”
“Like I need to be ready to take candy from children.” Laurel scoffed. “I did it just last week. Mia never saw it coming. Clocked that child so hard I lifted her off the ground with just my fist.”
Nyssa moved to across the lot, she wanted the distance.
“Get ready for your treats Lori!” Nyssa called out pumping up the kids.
“God, look at her, trying to make my daughter love her more.” Ava scoffed and whispered into Sara’s ear.
“Our daughter.” Sara stressed. “And I don’t think she has a plan to replace us as her mom.”
“Not us. Just me.”
“Well even if she did want to, it won’t happen.” Sara reassured her. “Besides she was the one who ended our relationship so clearly she doesn’t want me.”
“She doesn’t want you? That’s all you have to say?”
“I thought my proposal and our wedding was enough to let you know I clearly don’t want anyone but you. What else do you need me to say? Look at our marriage, but I guess if after all these years you’re still not sure how I feel, I’m fucking up as a wife and for that I am sorry. After the kids are put to bed I’ll make sure you know how much I love you and only you.”
Sure Sara could point out all the reasons it was pointless for Ava to feel jealous but she never wanted to minimize her feelings, instead Sara wanted to do what she could so her wife felt loved and secured in their marriage.
Ava watched as Nyssa fired her arrow.
The pinata splittered, but didn’t fall apart.
Sara watched Laurel 2 crack her knuckles and knew she had to step in.
“I think it’s time for the birthday girl to take her turn!” Sara called out quickly picking up the knife bat combo and removing the knife. “Come on Lori, time to break it open!”
Laurel huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“When she breaks it open, it does not count as a win for you.” She hissed into Nyssa’s ear.
“But it does count as a loss for you.” Nyssa replied.
Lori watched as Ray lowered the pinata down to her level.
“I need something else too!”
“Here ya go kid.” Mick handed over his fire gun.
“Mick, come on.” Ava just sighed.
“It’s her birthday.” Mick grunted.
“Yeah please Mommy?”
Ava sighed. “Fine. Everyone stay away from the pianta, we don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“You really think giving the 5 year old a fire gun is safe?” Quentin questioned Sara.
“Not one bit, but it’s her birthday and we’ve dealt with a lot worse.”
“Count down!”
“5!” Everyone started.
Gary started to wander back near the pinata not being able to see very well through the head.
“4!”
Lori grinned as she aimed carefully with the fire gun.
“3!”
Mick held up his beer in a mock salute.
“2!”
Gary was closer now.
“1!”
Lori pulled the trigger back just as Gary wandered into line of fire, literally.
Turns out a rented costume was not fire proof, if anything it was highly flammable.
In his panic he managed to bang into Dig, which made his gun fall to the ground, firing itself off and the bullet went to the bouncy castle.
Lori in an attempt to stop setting fire to Beebo moved her aim from the pinata to the building behind the pinata instead of just letting go of the trigger in pure 5 year old panic mode.
The children started to panic and made a run for the opposite direction, knocking the cake off the table.
Sara grabbed the firegun out of Lori’s hands making it stop.
“Zari, you wanna blow out this fire like a candle?” Sara asked looking back at her.
“I mean I can try but it might end up literally fanning the flames…”
“Well still try.”
…
Sara surveyed the scene. Lori was cuddled into Ava yawning clearly tuckered out from the excitement.
Rip and Aoife were in their car seats also sleeping.
The cops and social worker who had come were in their own cars, unconscious and all records of names and notes they took were destroyed. Gary was a bit toasted but otherwise would be fine.
After all the evidence was cleaned up the guests had left.
Mick and John said they couldn’t wait for the next Legends gathering.
“Next party no pinata for adults, no alcohol and Mick cannot have so much as a match on him.” Ava warned.
“We’ll give it a shot but we both know even then the Legends will end in chaos fifty percent of the time.”
“I feel like fifty is being generous.”