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“Mama, can we call Kai?” Scout asked, his voice barely above a whisper in the darkened room.
“Baby, I am pretty sure they are sleeping right now. You remember they are 2 hours ahead of us. And you are being a naughty boy, being up at midnight.”
They were having a hard night. Scout refused to fall asleep, he was clingier than usual and didn’t want to be in his own room, in his own bed. Amelia was tired to the bone, she had just finished a long shift before picking her son up, and all she really wanted to do was sleep.
“Mama, I don’t want to sleep,” Scout protested when she wanted to put him down for the night. He kept jumping out of bed and clinging to Amelia’s leg.
“Scout darling, it’s very late and you need to sleep. Mama also needs some rest. I promise we will play so much tomorrow, and you will need all your energy for that, okay?”
“I don’t want to sleep, please Mama don’t leave me,” Scout started sobbing, breaking Amelia’s heart, being unable to figure out what her son’s problem was.
“You don’t want to be alone, baby?” Amelia reached down and picked her son up, attaching him on her hip.
He threw his arms around Amelia’s neck and buried his face in the crook of her neck, sobbing quietly. “No, please Mama don’t leave me.”
It was like he was having a nightmare of some kind. He looked like he was awake, but he kept repeating the same thing, like he was seeing something Amelia couldn’t.
“Okay, what if you come with me to Mama’s bed. You can sleep there with me. Do you want to do that?” Amelia was helplessly offering any- and everything so that he would finally agree to getting some sleep.
She could feel Scout nodding frantically against her neck. She walked back to her room with Scout in her arms and they got settled in bed. Amelia thought this would solve their problem, they got all snuggled up together, but Scout couldn’t fall asleep.
“I miss Kai,” he sobbed. “I want to talk to them. Please Mama, can we call Kai?”
It’s been 3 weeks since Amelia and Scout returned from Minnesota. Their schedules haven’t really lined up since then. The past week they could barely talk on the phone. She knew that she missed them immensely, but she didn’t think that Scout would miss them so much as well.
“Baby, I am pretty sure they are sleeping right now. You remember they are 2 hours ahead of us. And you are being a naughty boy, being up at midnight,” Amelia was soothing his back with slow strokes to calm him down. He looked even sadder as he raised his head to meet his mother’s eyes.
“Buuuut we can try and send them a text, see if they are awake by any chance. What do you say to that?” Amelia asked, and he nodded excitedly.
‘Any chance you are awake?’ she sent and put her phone down, not anticipating any reply. Her brain was already working on finding a way to ease his pain coming from missing Kai when her phone beeped.
‘I’m up. What’s up, beautiful?’
‘What are you doing up at 2am?’
‘Can’t really sleep… I miss my two favorite people too much.’
‘We miss you too. Scout so much so that he refuses to sleep.’
“Are they awake, Mama?” Scout broke her from her little bubble.
“Yes, they can’t sleep either,” she said, Scout getting excited.
“So can we call them?”
Before she could answer her phone started ringing, and within a second Scout was already sitting in her lap and accepting the call before she could even comprehend the happenings.
“Kai!” Scout shouted all too excitedly when he saw their face on the phone.
“Hey there, little man! Hi, beautiful,” they greeted both of them chuckling. They were lying in their bed, head propped up on many pillows. They looked tired, but their eyes were shining upon the two people on their screen.
“Kai, I miss you,” Scout pouted.
“Hey, you look tired. Have you been working too much in the lab again?” Amelia inquired, half worried for her partner.
“Thanks for the compliment, Shepherd! Very thoughtful of you,” they chuckled. “But I have an important question. Why aren't you sleeping, young man? It is extremely late for a little fellow like you.”
“I can’t sleep because I miss you,” he sighed. “And Mama says you can’t sleep either.”
“I miss you too, buddy. And I have a secret, but don’t tell your Mama, okay?”
“I won’t tell her,” he says with a cheeky grin on his face.
“Okay, come closer, little man.”
Scout leaned closer and looked back at Amelia. “Mama don’t listen, Kai is telling me a secret.” Both Amelia and Kai chuckled at Scout’s command.
“I am not hearing a thing,” Amelia raised her hands, defending herself.
“Okay Kai, Mama’s not listening. You can tell me the secret now,” Scout whispered.
“So, I miss your Mama too, but I miss you more. But you gotta keep that a secret because she would be sad if she knew,” they winked at Scout, and then at Amelia as well who was still very visible behind the boy. Scout raised his hand to his mouth, pretending to zip up his lips keeping their little secret while his face was lighting up being able to talk to his favorite person.
“Okay so what do we do now, Kai?” Scout asked.
“How about you try to go to sleep and let your Mama sleep a little too?”
“No, Kai,” he said as he started twitching in Amelia’s lap.
“Baby, it’s late for Kai, and it’s late for us,” Amelia started calming down her son. “Let’s let Kai go and sleep and we'll try to sleep as well.”
“Kai, let’s can’t sleep together,” Scout started quietly sobbing again.
“What do you mean, mister?” Kai chuckled as they found his little statement adorable, just adorable Scout himself and his mother were.
“Well you can’t sleep, I can’t sleep. Let’s can’t sleep together!”
“That is really cute, little man. But aren’t you forgetting someone?”
Amelia’s exhaustion was subsiding as she got to witness her son’s and partner’s little banter. All those months ago, when they first started dating, she wouldn’t have thought that they would get to this point.
Kai was very clear on not wanting kids in their life. And while Amelia didn’t know how their future would look like, she did not want to force anything on Kai.
She had no idea what had changed; one day Kai just asked if she would be okay if they met Scout. Amelia was surprised, but open to the idea if that really was what Kai wanted. She has wanted to ask about it for so long, but didn’t have the courage just yet. Maybe someday…
“Mama, you can sleep now,” Scout turned to his mother with innocent eyes. His statement made both Amelia and Kai laugh out loud, the tiredness seemingly fleeing both of their bodies.
“And what will you be doing, young man?” Amelia raised her eyebrow when she could finally stop the laughter.
“I am talking to Kai. Can’t you see, Mama?”
“Baby you need to sleep,” Amelia started but was cut off by Scout who started working himself up again.
“No Mama, I don’t want to sleep! I want Kai! I want Kai!” Scout was nearly screaming at this point, tears streaming down his face.
“Hey, hey, hey buddy,” Kai’s voice was coming through the speaker, “listen to me, okay?” Kai could see how tired and upset Amelia was, she could barely keep the tears from escaping her eyes.
“You have to sleep a little. Your little body needs it to grow so you don’t stay this teeny-tiny, okay?”
“But I don’t want to sleep without you, Kai,” he sobbed.
“I will stay with you until you fall asleep. What do you say?”
“Can you sing to me, Kai?”
“I can, but can you apologize to Mama first?”
Scout turned around and threw his hands around Amelia’s neck. She held him close and closed her eyes, using every last bit of energy to not fall apart in front of her son.
“I’m sorry Mama. I love you,” he said as he gifted Amelia with a sloppy kiss on her cheek.
“I love you too, baby. I know you miss Kai, I miss them too, so-so much. But you can’t act like that when we are both trying to help you, my love. I know you are tired too. Look you can barely keep your eyes open,” she said as she booped his nose, trying to elevate the mood. She earned a small giggle from him as he sank more into Amelia’s body. “So can you please try to sleep while Kai is singing to you?”
“Yes Mama,” he said before turning around to speak to Kai. “When will you come over, Kai?”
“I’m not sure yet, buddy. But I can promise you that your Mama and I will figure out something really soon, okay? I miss you two more than anything…”
Scout nodded before letting out a big yawn. “Okay buddy, lay down while I get my guitar. You too, beautiful, you need to sleep as well.” Kai disappeared and Amelia used the time to get Scout and herself settled down in bed all snuggled up under the blanket. She propped up her phone on the other pillow so that they were still visible and could see Kai as well.
“Look at you two all cozied up, I’m jealous,” Kai reappeared on the screen with their guitar in their hand.
“We wish you were here too,” Amelia’s voice was quiet and calm, more than ready to finally sleep.
“I wish that too. But we gotta work with what we have, right?”
“Mhmmm…”
“Okay, I need you two to relax and don’t fight the sleep. I’m talking to you, small mister,” Kai smiled at Scout, who had a cheeky but tired grin on his face. “Good night, my loves.”
“Good night, Kai! I love you,” Scout waved.
“We love you so much,” Amelia said and blew a kiss to Kai.
“I love you too, so-so much,” they said before they started playing the first notes of ‘Trouble’.
‘Trouble’, the song they wrote for Amelia one sleepless night when they just couldn’t get her out of their mind. They had somewhat rewrote it for their acoustic guitar and played it frequently when Amelia was in Minnesota with them.
You’ve been causing me trouble and keeping me up
Throw your rock in my window, I’m calling your bluff
An eye for an eye doesn’t seem too unfair if you stare long enough
Keep my hands off my phone and I’ll leave you alone, do you miss me or what?
And when the night comes, I hope I’m causing you trouble
And when the night comes, I hope I’m keeping you up…
It probably took less than a minute for Scout to fall asleep while listening to Kai’s soothing voice. His full weight was pressed against Amelia, his mouth falling open as his breathing evened out.
Amelia mouthed a ‘thank you’ when he was out cold, not wanting to disturb their singing. Kai winked at her as they kept playing. “Now it’s your turn, princess,” they said and continued singing.
‘Cause when the night comes, you know you’re causing me trouble
And when the night comes, you know you’re keeping me up
And when the night comes, you know you’re causing me trouble
And keeping me, and keeping me, and keeping me up
And keeping me, and keeping me, and keeping me up.
As they finished with the song they could see Amelia’s face in total calmness as sleep caught her too. Their heart was filled with unmeasurable love for the two people on their screen.
Now that they knew that Scout and Amelia were finally asleep, calmed down and snuggled up together. They only wished they could be there next to them, holding them in their arms as they were sleeping. Their mind had settled as well, feeling the exhaustion and need for sleep coursing through their body.
They could finally sleep. All three of them.
“Sweet dreams, my loves. See you in two days.”