Work Text:
The book liked its new place on a sunny shelf in the municipal library. No trace of mold anywhere, its neighbors were mercifully quiet instead of muttering sinister curses, and best of all, there were readers, plural, what an incredible luxury! It had not yet managed to lure anyone into taking it home, but that was only a matter of time. In any case, the book was doing its best to please.
The first reader that day was a little girl. A bit young for serious arcane work, thought the book. Maybe the kid’s parents were extraordinarily invested in early education. The book turned into a lovely illustrated tome of nursery rhymes. The little girl giggled. Her mother, however, did not. She threw it back on the shelf carelessly, muttering something about “those tentacles”. The book noted to choose a different illustration style next time. Skulls and bones, maybe? Those were timeless.
The second reader snatched and opened the book so quickly it did not have ample time to read the human properly. In hindsight, it should have chosen to offer either wisdom as an advanced topology textbook or the fulfillment of mundane desires as erotic poetry. The combination was not well received. Oh well, live and learn.
The third reader did not open the book at all, only resting his hand on its spine. “I have been looking for you.” he said. The book was slightly confused. This reader did not feel as if he were interested in raising the dead or communing with dark spirits, its main specialties. “You were wasted on that necromancer. We can do so much more than dark magic, together!” The book agreed, cheerfully shifting its font to Comic Sans. “Now, could you please produce a valid ISBN so I can check you out?”