Work Text:
Taehyung is fourteen when he meets his soulmate. However, he won’t know this until he turns eighteen. Like most children his age, Taehyung has been dreaming of meeting his soulmate ever since he found out what a soulmate was. Kids would daydream about counting down the days and hours until they would meet their true match.
It was romantic, Taehyung thought. It was romantic that the stars picked out one other person who was meant to be with you for the rest of your life. How incredible to meet the person that the universe destined you to be with. The most beautiful moment in life.
Taehyung is fourteen when he unknowingly meets his soulmate. Taehyung’s best friend, Jimin, introduces him to the new kid in Jimin’s dance club.
“His name is Jeongguk. He’s shy.” Jimin tells him.
There’s nothing particularly special about the encounter. Jeongguk and Taehyung exchange hellos, and Jeongguk doesn’t say much after that.
Taehyung goes to more dance practices after that. Not because he wants to dance, but because he likes the way Jeongguk smiles at him sometimes. He likes the way Jeongguk says thank you whenever Taehyung hands him a water bottle. He likes the blush that dusts his cheeks whenever Taehyung cheers him on.
Taehyung is fourteen when he gets his first crush.
When you turn eighteen, a timer will appear on your wrist, counting down the days, hours, and minutes until you are meant to meet your soulmate. The morning of someone’s eighteenth birthday does not only mark the beginning of adulthood, but it also marks the countdown to finding your other half.
Taehyung is fifteen now. He’s gotten to know Jeongguk well in the last year. They share similar interests: music, anime, making dubsmash videos, and annoying the hell out of Jimin. Taehyung comes to find out Jeongguk is a year younger than him, a rising freshman at Taehyung’s high school.
Jimin proposes they all sit together at lunch with his senior friends. “You guys can see Seokjin hyung’s timer! It’s so cool!”
When school starts, Taehyung drags Jeongguk to Jimin’s lunch table where they meet Seokjin, Namjoon, and Hoseok. Instead of an introduction, Jimin demands Seokjin show everyone his timer.
Proudly, Seokjin holds out his arm, where a bold 6 years, 42 days, 5 hours, 18 minutes are tattooed into his skin. This is the first time Taehyung has ever seen a timer in person. He thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Second, actually, only to Jeongguk’s smile.
“Seokjin hyung, that is so awesome!” Jimin proclaims. The table erupts in cheers and commotion as everyone talks about the timer. Namjoon and Hoseok giddily sharing that theirs will show up within the next year.
Throughout all the talk, Jeongguk remains quiet.
“Jeonggukkie? Are you okay?” Taehyung asks.
“I’m fine. I just don’t really care all that much about soulmates and all that shit.” Jeongguk shrugs.
Taehyung gasps. “You don’t think it’s romantic? That the universe and the stars had this all planned out from the beginning?”
“It’s bullshit. We all have our own freewill. I can fall in love with whoever I want. The stars don’t decide that for me, I do.”
Everyone sobers quickly after that. “You don’t think,” Taehyung pauses, “that maybe everything happens for a reason? Whoever your soulmate is loves you. Platonically or romantically, they’re meant to be in your life. I think that’s beautiful.”
“I don’t. I think it’s fucked up. If I’m in love with someone, I don’t want to turn eighteen only to find out that the person I’m in love with isn’t my soulmate. Fuck soulmates.”
“Jeongguk? Are you in love?” Jimin nudges Jeongguk in the side.
“I didn’t say that!”
“Our baby Jeongguk is in love!” Jimin yells, causing heads to turn in their direction. Jeongguk bangs his head on the table.
Taehyung laughs along with the rest of his friends, but there’s a nagging feeling in his chest. Taehyung feels a bit uneasy at the thought of Jeongguk hating the idea of soulmates. Or maybe Taehyung just doesn't like the idea of Jeongguk being in love.
On Taehyung’s seventeenth birthday, Taehyung is woken up to a tapping sound coming from his window. He can make out a silhouette, one that he’d recognize anywhere.
“Jeongguk, what the fuck are you doing?” Taehyung whispers.
Taehyung hears the window open, followed by some rustling, and then a dull thud. Jeongguk groans.
“That really fucking hurt.” Jeongguk mutters.
Taehyung resists the urge to snort. “That’s what you get for sneaking in my room at the ass crack of dawn.”
Slowly, Jeongguk stands up from the ground and pushes his hair back away from his eyes. Taehyung is reminded of how beautiful he really is. Jeongguk’s been bragging about how much he can lift at the gym now, and Taehyung doesn’t miss the flex of Jeongguk’s biceps. He doesn’t miss the way his jeans stretch over his thighs and mold to his thighs.
Jeongguk quickly jumps onto Taehyung’s bed, straddling Taehyung. Jeongguk starts tickling the older boy mercilessly, diving straight for his ribcage.
“Jeongguk! You’re gonna make me, wake up, my parents!” Taehyung manages to choke out through his laughter. The two boys wrestle around on the bed, trying to get the upper hand.
After a few minutes, both boys out of breath, Jeongguk falls on top of Taehyung, and the two lie there for several minutes, with nothing but their shallow panting to fill the silence. Taehyung can barely make out the sun beginning to rise through the curtains.
Taehyung loves moments like these with Jeongguk. When the two just lounge around together, no need to fill the silence because it’s not awkward. He’s at peace with Jeongguk. Taehyung imagines this being his future with his soulmate.
He looks down at the boy laying on his chest. He can feel his breath on his neck. This close, he could count each of Jeongguk’s eyelashes. He wonders if Jeongguk would let him. Taehyung knows, that right now, Jeongguk can see the freckle Taehyung’s nose. He wonders if Jeongguk cares to notice it.
“I can’t believe you snuck into my house and woke me up just to tickle me.” Taehyung moans. Jeongguk hits him on the arm, chuckling.
“That’s not the only reason.”
“What other reason is there?”
“This is the last birthday before you get your timer.” Jeongguk points out.
“So that means you have to sneak into my room?”
“Right now, you don’t have to count down to anything. This time next year, you won’t be living your life day by day. All you’re going to be thinking about is how many days left until you meet your soulmate. So, right now, it’s just this. You and me. Today. There’s no timer. We can spend as much time together as we want to. Right?”
Sometimes, in moments like these, Taehyung thinks maybe Jeongguk is right. Maybe soulmates are bullshit. Taehyung doesn’t want a soulmate if it means he can’t be with Jeongguk. Jeongguk, who gives him shy smiles when they pass each other in the hall. Jeongguk, who opens up to Taehyung even though he’s painfully shy. Jeongguk, who sneaks into Taehyung’s house before the sun rises to spend his own little infinity with Taehyung. Jeongguk, who Taehyung has fallen in love with.
“You can’t put a timer on infinity, right?” Taehyung whispers.
Jeongguk beams at him. “You and me, hyung, we’re infinite.”
Jeongguk and Taehyung are not infinite.
Eight months after Taehyung’s seventeenth birthday, Jeongguk moves out of Seoul and back to his old home in Busan. Taehyung doesn’t cry.
“We’ll stay in touch, though, right?” Taehyung sniffles. He swears he’s not crying. He grips the sleeve of Jeongguk’s sweater. Taehyung had insisted he go with Jeongguk and his family to the airport to see him off. He wanted to spend every last second he could with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk has been quiet for the last few weeks after telling his friends he was going back to Busan. He’s effectively shut Taehyung out. Taehyung is trying to wedge his way back in.
“Jeongguk?”
“I don’t know.” Jeongguk sighs bitterly.
Taehyung takes a step back, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve. “What is that supposed to mean? You – We’re best friends.”
“In a few months, your timer will show up. You’ll have something, someone to look forward to.” Jeongguk looks down at his shoes. “You saw what happened to Seokjin and the others. Once their timer showed up, they spent all their free time thinking about that person. When the timer shows up, everyone else becomes a secondary thought. I can’t… I can’t be your secondary thought, Taehyung.”
“Jeongguk –“
“You’ve always been the most important person in my life. I’ve said it from the beginning: fuck soulmates. I don’t care who my soulmate is gonna be. If it’s not you, I don’t care. I only want you.” Jeongguk finally looks up at Taehyung, his eyes red and wet with tears. There’s nothing Taehyung wants to do more than wipe them away.
“I love you, Taehyung.”
“I love –“
“Please. Don’t.” Jeongguk sighs. “You may think you love me. But the second that timer shows up, you’re gonna forget all about me. You thinks soulmates are romantic, you’ve said so dozens of times. I can’t expect you to choose me over them.”
Taehyung vaguely hears a woman over the intercom as Jeongguk sighs one more time.
“I gotta go now. Good luck with everything, Taehyung.”
Taehyung watches Jeongguk walk away. Taehyung watches the spot where Jeongguk had stood for what feels like hours to him. Maybe it’s an infinity. It’s all the same to him now, anyway.
The following months pass by in a blur. Nothing substantial happens. Taehyung doesn’t hear from Jeongguk, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about the younger boy. He thinks about his smile, the one that seems almost too big for his face. He thinks about his laugh, the one Taehyung swears is reserved just for him. He thinks about Jeongguk’s last words to him, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. He thinks about the fact that he never got to say it back. That Jeongguk wouldn’t have believed him.
On Taehyung’s eighteenth birthday, he avoids looking at his wrist while he gets out of bed. He closes his eyes in the shower, and puts on a long hoodie. He tells his parents he’ll look at it later, and spends hours in bed, staring at the window Jeongguk had climbed through only a year ago.
Jeongguk had wanted an infinity with Taehyung. Yet all along, Jeongguk knew there was a timer on that too. Jeongguk was planning to leave Taehyung a year ago. Taehyung lets out a deep sigh, and rubs at his eyes, only to find out he’s been crying. For how long, he has no idea. Taehyung weakly throws his pillow at his window, hoping it will destroy his memories of Jeongguk.
It doesn’t.
It’s not until the next morning that Taehyung sees his timer.
0 years 273 days 8 hours 14 minutes.
In less than one year, Taehyung is going to meet the person that is destined to be with him. Taehyung has been waiting for this moment for as long as he could remember. He should be happy. This is supposed to be the most beautiful moment of his life.
So why does he feel empty?
The days drag on. Taehyung watches the numbers decrease, but he feels no excitement. He realizes that his soulmate is really unlucky. What kind of person isn’t excited to meet their soulmate? Taehyung remembers making fun of Jeongguk for being a shitty soulmate.
“Jeongguk, you’re soulmate is gonna be so disappointed that you’re not even excited to meet them!”
“They can get over it. If they’re my soulmate, they should be fully prepared to deal with my cynicism.”
“I don’t know if anyone will be able to put up with your cynicism.” Taehyung laughs.
“You put up with it just fine.”
“That’s because I’m perfect.”
Jeongguk makes a hum of agreement.
There are only 15 minutes left of his timer. By now, his thoughts of Jeongguk should have dissipated. Jeongguk had said his feelings for him would have gone away by now. Why hadn’t they? By now, Jeongguk will have gotten his timer too. Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk is excited. He wonders if Jeongguk has already forgotten about him.
Twelve minutes left. Taehyung hasn’t done much except take his college courses and lounge about at home. He’s not sure how his soulmate is supposed to find him when he’s been holed up in his room.
Nine minutes left. Taehyung isn’t even paying attention to the timer, too engrossed in his astronomy textbook. He’s been focused on figuring out how the stars come up with this soulmate bullshit. Jeongguk was right. Soulmates are bullshit. He doesn’t want one anymore.
It’s amazing how much has changed since Jeongguk. Before, Taehyung would be on the edge of his seat, ready to take his first glimpse at his soulmate. Now, all he wants is for the world to swallow him whole.
There’s a knock on his bedroom door, cautious and timid.
“Yeah?” Taehyung calls, not even bothering to look up from his textbook. He hears the door open.
His timer stops.
“Hey, Taehyung.”
Taehyung lifts his head up so quickly he feels dizzy. There, in the threshold, is Jeongguk, his best friend, his first crush, his first love. His soulmate.
“Jeongguk? What are you doing here?”
Jeongguk looks sheepish. He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. Taehyung takes him in, the dark hair, falling over his eyes. He’s gotten more muscle, lost the baby fat. He’s grown up in the time he’s been away from Taehyung.
“I’ve been eighteen for a couple weeks now.” Jeongguk starts. “I got my timer. At first, I refused to look at it. Thought if I ignored it long enough, it would just… go away.” Taehyung watches as Jeongguk slowly walks fully into Taehyung’s room. Taehyung is frozen at his desk, captivated.
“Eventually, I saw it. It said just a couple dozen days. I remember thinking that wasn’t enough time. I still wasn’t…” Jeongguk sighs. “I wasn’t over you yet. I needed more time. What kind of fucking soulmate shows up when I’m not ready?”
Taehyung is speechless. It hasn’t even crossed his mind to look at his timer, all he can think about is the fact that Jeongguk is here, in his room, with him. Nothing else matters to him.
“So anyway, a couple days ago, I decided I was going to come see you. For closure or something. I don’t know. I thought maybe, if I got that closure with you, then I could meet my soulmate today and be ready to move on.”
Jeongguk chuckles quietly. “But guess what happens? I’m at the airport, ready to come to Seoul, when somehow, I lose my ticket. I don’t even know how I lost it. But I did. So I tell the airport staff and it’s this long boring process. Anyway, I finally get on a plane yesterday, right, and I’m freaking out at this point because there are less than twenty four hours until I meet my soulmate, and I still haven’t seen you.
“I’m on the plane, when they tell us there’s a storm coming. So now we have to have a layover. For eight hours. Then, we finally get on the plane, and there are only four hours left on my timer. I’m stressed as fuck at this point.
“We finally land, and I rush to call a cab, but Jimin calls me. Fucking Jimin! To have a fucking chit chat. When I’m in a rush. But I can’t be an asshole because I haven’t spoken to him in well over a year. He’s doing well by the way. He’s gonna stop by soon to visit you; he misses you.
“I finally get off the phone with him, I’m in the fucking worst traffic Seoul has ever seen. By the time I get to your house there are only seven minutes left on my timer.”
Jeongguk finally stops his monologue to stare at Taehyung. Taehyung has been absolutely silent for the entire story, taking everything in as Jeongguk’s speech got louder and faster. Jeongguk is breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath.
“Do you understand now?” Jeongguk asks.
Taehyung can’t do anything but slowly shake his head.
“Taehyung.” Jeongguk kneels down in front of Taehyung at his desk. Jeongguk grabs Taehyung’s wrist, the one where the timer is placed, and lifts up the sleeve. Taehyung can’t take his eyes of Jeongguk.
“Taehyung.” Jeongguk repeats. “I realized that after everything that happened. The traffic. The layover. Me losing my ticket. Jimin’s fucking phone call.” Jeongguk grins up at Taehyung. “They were destined to happen. I was going to see you too soon. It wasn’t time yet. I’m meant to see you now. Right when our timers ran out.”
Taehyung finally looks at his wrist to see its run out. He lets out a deep breath. “Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk lifts his sleeve, showing all zeroes on his timer. “It’s you. It’s been you from day one. I knew it. I just didn’t know the stars knew it too.”
Taehyung’s vision starts blurring and Jeongguk hurries to wipe at his cheeks. “Don’t cry, Taehyung. I love you. I’m sorry I left you.”
“We met again.” Taehyung finally sobs. “You came back.”
“I’ll never leave you again.” Jeongguk promises.
“You’ll stay forever?”
“For infinity.”