Work Text:
Tachihara was quite startled by the shrill, persistent ringing of his doorbell.
He wasn't expecting any deliveries nor visitors so this was quite sudden.
And unfortunately, his hearing has been more keen lately, causing the ringing to be even more unbearable than it'd usually be.
He physically needs to cover his ears until the person finally lets go of the ringer.
It's quite disorienting and Tachihara took a moment to adjust again before slowly making his way to the door.
Yet he obviously won't open it for any unannounced stranger.
He's no fool.
He'll stay safe behind his door as he calls out:
"Who's there?!"
There was a moment of silence during which Tachihara half expected the person to have run off.
Maybe it was just some child playing ding dong ditch.
He could hardly even blame them, he used to be just as much of a troublemaker when he was young.
Yet surprisingly, a muffled voice from the other side of the door answered after all:
"Tachihara, is that you?
It's me, Sue–"
The door swung open before Tecchou could finish his sentence.
However, just because Tachihara removed the blockade between them needn't mean he isn't scowling at the other with crossed arms.
"I know your voice, Tecchou.
What are you doing here?
You know I retired."
Silence again.
That horrible silence.
Tachihara feels stared at which is horribly uncomfortable given that he no longer has a concept of what he looks like.
Ever since that… Incident.
His failure…
The world has been black with only the brightest rays of light penetrating his vision occasionally.
Yet those feel like an insult.
Seeing with what little is left of his vision feels even worse than seeing nothing at all.
And so, similar to his ex-colleague, Tachihara prefers to keep his eyes shut at all times.
But with closed eyes or not, Tachihara is never quite able to discern his appearance.
He's unaware of stains on his clothes, dirt on his face and stray strands of hair.
He doesn't like going outside…
He feels as though everyone is watching him yet he can't actually discern how many people are looking.
He doesn't know what they see.
And even if his appearance were meticulous, Tachihara is still not used to navigating the outside world in his state.
Oh how often people must've seen him get lost, trip or even fall.
Tachihara hates it.
But before he can dwell on others perception of him for much longer, Tecchou's voice finally cut through the silence once more:
"Sorry.
I just wanted to check up on you."
Sigh…
That voice.
That righteous, caring voice.
Knowing Tecchou's determination and beliefs, Tachihara thinks he must be a good leader of the hunting dogs.
He may be able to repair their reputation and rebuild their group.
Tachihara has certainly heard headlines turn from critical into hopeful regarding the revival of the hunting dogs.
Yet he never bothered to listen.
Never managed to listen.
He immediately switched programs or turned the TV off entirely.
"I'm done with that part of my life.
How do you even know my address?"
Tachihara moved plenty of times, went undercover for quite a while and even had all his records destroyed to the point that even the likes of the port mafia could never find him again.
Of course, he's not foolish enough to actually believe that…
Yet it does seem they're either having trouble finding him or are nice enough to leave him be.
"Tachihara, our organisation is still part of the government.
With the trust we've rebuilt, we've been granted access to highly classified files again.
Even yours that were publicly deleted."
"Yeah, and then I anonymously moved five more times."
Tachihara wanted to ensure that no one would find him for quite some time.
Yet somehow the new commander of the hunting dogs of all people found him fairly quickly after all.
Just how?
"The vice commander and I searched your last apartment and began an investigation from there."
They… actually put effort into locating him?
All that government work to find a disabled ex-soldier?
Oh, if the media knew, Tecchou would certainly lose that positive reputation he gained again.
Yet despite all this, there's actually something even more ridiculous than misplaced working hours and unnecessary search efforts:
"I still can't believe you announced Jouno vice commander."
Tachihara said with a chuckle.
He heard the news in passing.
And though he always despised hearing news from one of the very organisations he tried to run away from, he must admit he always found it rather funny that Jouno of all people became the man who's second in command to bring justice to this nation.
Tecchou had a rather dry response in comparison, though:
"Without you, I had no other option."
Jouno was the only one left.
With Fukuchi and Teruko arrested and Tachihara disappearing, it was just Jouno and him left.
And yet the other's wording caused Tachihara to cock an eyebrow, his cold demeanour slowly starting to fade away the longer he speaks to his past colleague.
"You say that like you would've picked me over Jouno."
What a ridiculous statement from Tecchou.
Despite his rather… dubious morals, Jouno has always been one of the strongest hunting dogs.
Nevermind the fact that he was always present whereas Tachihara spent most of his time away on infiltration missions.
Nevermind the fact that Tachihara never even received the entire amount of hunting dogs surgeries to avoid suspicion during his infiltrations.
Tachihara was hardly ever a proper hunting dog to begin with.
"Of course I would've picked you.
After the discoveries you've made and bravery you've shown, you're the one who'd be deserving to lead the hunting dogs, even."
Those words…
They shocked Tachihara.
But more than anything, they infuriated him.
Discoveries and bravery?
"Quit spreading lies."
Tachihara said rather harshly as the scowl on his face returned.
Turning on his heel, Tachihara placed one hand on the wall before walking deeper inside his apartment again.
He may be irritated, yet he hadn't actually closed the door on Tecchou.
He's silently beckoning him to enter despite resuming his rant:
"It wasn't me who made that discovery.
And that bravery I've shown was just false trust in yet another man who deceived me.
First he killed my brother and then he nearly got me killed as well!"
Tachihara actually raised his voice in anger, yet was still able to hear the door's lock click into place.
He remained quiet except for his laboured breathing after his outburst, waiting until he heard footsteps within his apartment coming closer.
And then, Tecchou's infuriatingly calm, yet genuine, voice called out:
"I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to bring any of this up."
"Then what did you mean to do, Tecchou?!
Why are you here?"
Truthfully, Tachihara doesn't have it in him to remain mad at the other.
All of this truly isn't his fault
Tecchou was just as deceived as him.
Just as deceived as everyone.
He merely decided to brace for the truth while Tachihara ran away…
There's nothing brave about him.
The steps came closer once more, halting right in front of Tachihara.
Perhaps, a bit too close for his liking.
He'd rather take a step back.
Yet during his tantrum, he didn't count his steps and is unsure where he is based on the feeling of the wall alone.
Tachihara wouldn't want to embarrass himself by running against something by stepping back.
Therefore, he stayed glued in place, being able to feel the other's warmth radiate off him.
It makes Tachihara's skin crawl.
He's not used to this anymore.
He has been an isolated shut-in for far too long.
And yet the other's words managed to distract Tachihara from how uncomfortable he felt at that very moment.
"I already told you, Tachihara.
I wanted to check up on you."
"Check… up on me?
That's it?"
No
It can't be
Tecchou isn't trying to recruit him again?
He's not trying to ask for his help?
He doesn't want him to go on missions?
Doesn't want him to gather intel?
Doesn't want him to share whatever intel he may have, at least?
"Yes.
What else did you expect?"
"Well…"
Tachihara has always defined himself through his work.
Orders were what made him who he is.
He's approached to be told what to do.
He's approached to fulfil missions.
Not to… be asked about his general well being.
"It doesn't matter."
"Then how have you been fairing, Tachihara?"
Tecchou persisted in his asking.
And Tachihara feels as though he couldn't avoid it.
He cannot run away again.
Not while he's being cornered in his own home, disoriented and unwilling to step away.
Therefore, all he could do was swallow his pride and answer:
"I'm certainly not as good at navigating blind as Jouno is."
It's a vague response.
But one that managed to shut Tecchou up for a moment.
A far too long moment for Tachihara's comfort.
The silence between them is thick and uncomfortable.
It was far too long for his liking until Tecchou finally spoke up again:
"We… still have contact with the agency's doctor.
If you can't–"
"I don't want to be cured."
Tachihara can't bear being sightless.
Yet he also can't face her once more.
The cruel methods required to potentially restore his vision put aside, he just can't… fathom seeing again.
Seeing a world after everything that went down.
Tachihara doesn't want to.
He can't.
Tachihara failed at his mission and was deceived throughout it.
He's a fool who has always been blinded.
Now, it's just far more obvious than ever before.
"Okay.
That is your decision to make."
Tachihara is surprised just how easily the other dropped the matter.
He almost expected him to put up more of a fight.
To tell him to get cured.
To… give orders.
Even now, it seems as though he's nothing without them.
His life is pathetic.
And yet it's the one he chose.
It's… like Tecchou said.
His decision.
"Tecchou, why all this effort to locate me just to ask me how I've been?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why do you care?"
Tachihara just doesn't understand.
He's retired and Tecchou acts as though he respects that decision.
He's not trying to call him back into duty.
But then what's the reason of Tecchou's visit?
It just makes no sense to him.
And yet the other's response is so simple, it just makes Tachihara feel all the more stupid:
"We've spent many missions, training sessions and meetings together.
Why wouldn't I care?"
After all the time they've spent… Tecchou just cares for his ex-colleague.
It's almost like… They're friends.
What a bizarre thought.
Tachihara spent all this time running away from everything, hiding away all by himself, trying to shut out the world that wronged him over and over again.
And yet… all he actually did was hide from the people who cared and would have understood.
Tecchou, Jouno… they both went through the same thing Tachihara did.
Of course there was more that they didn't know.
That they couldn't relate to.
Yet… Tecchou makes him feel as though that wouldn't have mattered.
They would've listened anyway.
And maybe that's all Tachihara needed.
Someone to listen.
Tachihara needn't lock himself away in solitude.
It didn't do him any good.
He tried to avoid his past as much as possible.
But now that it's in front of him, Tachihara finally feels something other than… all the negativity that has been weighing down on him.
He cannot help but release a breathy chuckle:
"I don't know."
He doesn't actually feel ready to talk just yet.
There is much Tachihara still needs to process.
Much he has just avoided instead of facing head on.
But he doesn't think Tecchou expects him to start speaking now all of a sudden.
"Jouno said he wants to visit you as well.
But he said he'll come another day."
So Jouno cares too.
It's difficult to fathom.
All his life, Tachihara always felt as though he had no one to talk to.
Or… no.
He simply felt as though he's not worth speaking.
He only ever let orders define him.
No one would care about someone like him.
He's just a tool.
That's what he always viewed himself as.
But listening to Tecchou, Tachihara is beginning to believe he doesn't view him this way.
He's human.
Just like them…
"I'm looking forward to it.
I'll try to give him a less cold greeting."
Tachihara said in a pathetic attempt to indirectly apologise for his rudeness.
Wether Tecchou understood, Tachihara doesn't know.
But following his next words, he's not sure it truly mattered.
"You may be retired, Tachihara, but you're still welcome to visit the headquarters whenever."
This is no call to duty.
This is an invitation to meet people who actually view him as human.
And maybe… if Tachihara accepts, he'll be able to view himself as such as well.
"Thank you, Tecchou."
Silence again.
But this time, Tachihara can't say that it feels suffocating.
He feels… relieved, even.
As though he has finally been freed from the weights that have been tying him down.
"I'm sorry, Tachihara, but I don't have much more time to chat for now.
Would you mind me coming to visit again?"
"No, you may stop by again."
What a harsh contrast to the greeting Tachihara gave him at first.
Yet as they said their farewells and he listened to the other's steps leave his apartment, Tachihara couldn't help but feel grateful for his ex-colleagues.
He doesn't know whether they're aware of what they've done for him.
But because of them… Tachihara might be able to move on.
He may be willing to try, at least.