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It was dark, the woods silent and still. The rest of the ThunderClan camp was asleep. Sebastian silently snuck out of camp and headed into the woods; his paw steps silent on the leaf-bare ground. It was a cold night and Sebastian found himself having to fluff up his fur to keep out the cold.
What he was going to do tonight was forbidden by the Warrior Code and broke his vow as a Medicine cat. But he couldn’t resist it. He needed to meet with Kimi this night.
Sebastian makes sure he can’t be spotted by the Warriors guarding the camp, his excuse of having to collect more dock leaf ready on his tongue if he is caught, but thankfully the Warriors on guard don’t spot him. He quickly makes his way further out into the woods, running as soon as he can.
His conscious was screaming at him that he should turn back, but his heart is louder. He needed to see Kimi.
Thankfully the older tom was waiting for him on the border between ThunderClan and WindClan. The sight of Kimi makes Sebastian’s heart thud in his chest. Kimi. The WindClan Warrior, and his forbidden love.
Kimi is quick to head towards the border, purring quietly as he moves over to brush his pelt with Sebastian’s, “you came!”
“Of course I did.” Sebastian whispers, rubbing his cheek alongside Kimi’s, a purr growing in his throat as his nose takes in Kimi’s scent. He finally feels home.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come, not after Christian spotted us together.” Kimi replies, pulling back to look at Sebastian.
Sebastian sits down, flicking his tail neatly over his paws. “I almost didn’t come; Christian’s health isn’t as it was. He’s preparing me to become the new Medicine cat….”
“Is that what you want?” Kimi asks softly, sitting close to Sebastian.
“It’s my duty. I am his Apprentice. My duty should be to my clan, but my heart…it wants more.” Sebastian admits quietly, his heart thumping as he admits his true desires.
“Me?” Kimi guesses, his voice soft and gentle. “You know I want you, Seb. Always and forever.”
“It’s not as simple as that though, is it? You’re from another Clan and I’m a Medicine cat, hell I’m not even allowed to take a mate! This is forbidden on so many levels….”
“What have I said before? I don’t care what the Warrior Code says, I love you. I want you. For you and I to be together I’d do almost anything…even leave my Clan.”
Kimi’s words make Sebastian’s fur stand on end and he stands up, staring at Kimi in shock. “You can’t say that! You can’t just leave your Clan!”
“Why not? We could both leave, be together. We could find our own territory and live in peace.” Kimi replies, his tail lashing.
“But I can’t leave. I’m a Medicine cat. I made a vow to StarClan to always take care of my Clan. I can’t leave, Christian is ready to retire to the elders den….” Sebastian rambles in a panic, but Kimi cuts into his words.
“Who cares about StarClan? Our ancestors can’t touch us while we are here and alive. We could make our own destiny. Please Seb, leave with me. Christian will find a new Apprentice.” Kimi’s eyes are soft and pleading.
A cold wind seems to blow across the trees and Sebastian shivers, knowing StarClan could see them now. He could almost feel their judgement. His heart clenches painfully as he looks up at the stars, each spec one of their Warrior ancestors watching them. What were they thinking? Were they angry at him? Would he feel their wrath if he left with Kimi? He didn’t know what to do, what was the right course of action.
Sebastian had devoted his entire life to his Clan. Ever since he was a kit he had dreamed of the day he would become ThunderClan’s medicine cat. He had loved learning under Christian. He had learnt all the different herbs and poultices he could make to heal a sick Clanmate, had watched kits be born and watched elders leave on their final journey to StarClan. He had travelled to the moonpool and had connected with his Warrior ancestors and had learnt to interpret all their warnings and prophecies. He had loved every single moment and had prepared to spend his entire life in StarClan’s service until he had met Kimi at a Gathering of the Clans and the WindClan Warrior had taken his breath away.
Could he really give up his entire life and path for Kimi?
Sebastian looks at the WindClan Warrior, the older Tom having his heart literally on the line for Sebastian, and he can feel his own heart break. He loved Kimi so much. Too much.
“Please Seb.” Kimi moves closer to the younger Tom and he touches his forehead with his nose. “I love you. Run away with me. Be with me, from now until we both join StarClan.”
Sebastian closes his eyes, breathing in Kimi’s scent and as he does so he listens to the wind. He can almost imagine hearing a StarClan Warrior’s voice in his ear, warning him against leaving. He shivers, was it really a voice or was he imagining it? Was it his consciousness giving voice to his fears or an actual warning he must heed? Whatever it was, StarClan or not, he couldn’t ignore the feeling. No matter the consequences.
He pulls back from Kimi and looks him in the eyes, suddenly knowing what he had to do, despite the pain it would cause them both. “Kimi, I wish with all my heart I could follow you, but I can’t. My duty is to my Clan. This…. this has to stop.”
Kimi freezes and backs away, his fur standing on end in shock. “W-what? Seb…. what?”
Sebastian takes a deep breath and looks at Kimi. “This has to stop. I can’t run away with you. My life is here, with my Clan. I’m sorry Kimi, but we must stop this once and for all.”
Kimi shakes his head, eyes filled with pain. “But we can’t. We love each other, doesn’t that mean more than our Clans?”
“I love you, Kimi. I do. But we just can’t. I can’t give up my life as a Medicine cat and just run away. My place is here, don’t you see?” Sebastian replies, trying to move closer to Kimi, but the older Tom doesn’t let him.
“No, I don’t see. You love me. You said so yourself. Come with me, please. Please Seb, I am begging you. Please.” Kimi suddenly doesn’t look like the brave strong Warrior Sebastian had fallen for. He now looks so small and sad Sebastian feels his heart smash into pieces at the realisation that he was doing this to him.
“Kimi…” Sebastian’s voice breaks but he makes himself meet the broken gaze of his mate. “I am ThunderClan’s Medicine cat. I can’t just abandon that.”
“But you can abandon me?” Kimi asks, his voice filled with pain.
“No, no…I don’t want to abandon you willingly. I’m not doing this because I want to. I love you, but I’ve already chosen my path in life. I must stay on this path. I am needed.” Sebastian replies, his voice breaking.
“You’re needed here, with me. Don’t you see that?” Kimi asks, his eyes growing cold. “I guess I was wrong about you. If this is what you wish, if you don’t come with me, know what we had is over.”
Sebastian feels as if an enemy’s claws have raked themselves over his pelt, his heart thuds painfully in his chest. “Kimi, I’m sorry.”
Kimi scoffs, his eyes blazing with hurt and anger. “What do I expect from a ThunderClan cat? They always side with the Warrior Code.”
With an angry flick of his tail, Kimi turns and runs back over the border back to WindClan territory.
Leaving Sebastian alone with a broken heart.