Work Text:
It was supposed to be a leisurely stroll through the narrow alleys between the market stalls, but Migs could not wait to get out of there. Migs held Grogu in the crook of his arm and rocked him gently up and down. He had to make sure that Grogu didn't grab anything he shouldn't. Din had stopped at a stall a few meters behind him to look for something to fix a recurring problem with their landing system.
Migs was scolding Grogu again for grabbing some fruit without asking when he bumped into the person in front of him.
"Dank farrik!," Migs swore and held out his hand to steady the person.
Migs was annoyed, there were too many people for his liking, the vendors priced their goods far too loudly, and Grogu's constant sneaky attempts to steal food made it impossible for him to take his eyes off the kid for more than a few seconds.
"Sorry," was the only apology he could squeeze out through clenched teeth. The woman in front of him didn't seem to mind. She smiled at him as brightly as if he had not just almost trampled her.
"Oh, don't worry, darling."
Mig gritted his teeth. He really did not appreciate being called any form of endearment by a stranger he had just bumped into on the street.
"Well, let's go then," he said briskly and tried to push past the woman. She reached out and grabbed his forearm.
"He's adorable" The woman motioned at Grogu. "Is he yours?"
Migs raised an eyebrow and fought the urge to spit out a reply dripping with sarcasm. Instead he put on a forced smile. "Yes. Well, technically he's my partner's."
She narrowed her eyes. "So your partner looks like him?"
For a moment, Migs was too stunned to answer. It took every ounce of patience he had - which had been wearing thin even before this encounter - not to snap and be unkind. He breathed deeply through his nose. Normally he didn't mind a bit of rudeness, but the way Grogu looked up at him with his big eyes made him soft - a good role model, he thought, wouldn't put down a stranger over a dump question.
So he bit his tongue and continued, "My partner adopted him."
"Oh," the woman said brightly. "That's great! So what's your name?"
Migs hesitated just a second before answering, "Look, I really have to go, I..." He took a step forward, turning slightly to push past her, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him. For a split second he considered just pulling his arm free when she said, "You know, if you'd like, we could have a drink at the cantina tonight."
Her smile was warm as she made her offer, looking at him hopefully. He had to admit he was flattered. Offers like this had become quite rare in the last few years, regardless of whether it was a real date or just a prelude to a noncommittal night, and it was a boost to his ego. Of course, he would never accept, as he was spoken for - and also quite in love with his Riduur - but it felt great to be asked anyway.
He had just opened his mouth to reject the woman gently when a deep, modulated voice behind him said, "Sorry, he's spoken for, he's with me."
Migs' head snapped around to look straight into Din's T-visor.
"O-Oh," the woman stammered, immediately letting go of Migs' arm. Obviously intimidated, she added, "Sorry, I didn't realise that when you said partner, I mean..." and without finishing the sentence, she hurried off into the crowd.
“You know, that was not very gentle,” Migs said with mock debuke.
“Whatever,” Din just said, placed his gloved hand on Migs’ back in almost a possessive manner and with a fast pace led Migs away from the market in the direction of their ship.
“I was not really done there yet,” Migs said, making an effort to slow down, thereby pushing against the pressure Din acted on him. Actually, he had been done at the market and wanted nothing more to get back to their ship but he suddenly felt more like cattle being guided than a human being with their own free will. So he did what he could best: he resisted.
“We have all we need,” Din said briskly.
“Where is that bad mood coming from? You jealous or something? Because that was nothing to be concerned about.” Migs raised his eyebrow in disbelief when Din didn’t immediately refute the accusation of being jealous.
“You are jealous!” Migs wished he would sound a little less thrilled about it but he couldn’t help it. Any excessive amount of jealousy was an absolute no-go for him but a bit of jealousy was very much appreciated, just enough to be valued.
“I am not,” Din answered weakly, removed his hand from Migs’ back and walked ahead.
“You know, that’s not a bad thing, I take it as a compliment.”
“I was not jealous.” Din repeated, looking straight ahead.
“And why did you shut her down like that? I could’ve done it myself,” Migs went on when a sudden thought struck him and he reached out to grab Din’s arm, “You know that that is what I was about to do basically the moment you interrupted her, right?”
Din nodded wordlessly.
“Good, cuz’ a bit of jealousy is a massive boost for my ego but if you’re doing it because you think I’d be in any form receptive to that, that would be a massive bummer.” Migs continued to hold on tight on Din’s arm.
Din nodded again. “Of course, I trust you…you mean everything to me.”
Migs smiled. “Aw, love you too.” He patted him on the back. “Let’s go back to the ship then.”
They made their way back to their ship, Migs took care of stowing away what they had purchased except for a few screws and spare parts that Din had bought while Migs had been…occupied. Din immediately started to fix something at the landing system. Increasing frequency of curses and the occasional uncharacteristic bang that as Migs assumed resulted from Din kicking against the metal indicated that things were not going too well. Migs frowned, Din was not someone to physically resolve his frustration. With a quick glance he made sure that Grogu was still peacefully playing on his own and he made his way out to Din.
“Things not going well?,” Migs asked when he reached where Din was currently trying to fix the foot of their ship which had caused a few uncomfortable landings recently.
Din just mumbled beneath his breath. Din was crouched on his knees, bent over to spy into a narrow crevice where the issue seemed to result from.
Migs crouched down next to him and placed hand on his shoulder. “Do you need a second set of hands?”
“No, I’m fine,” Din just said coolly.
“Okay, can I bring you anything? Something to drink maybe? I hav-”
“I am fine, I would just like to work in peace,” Din interrupted him without looking up.
Migs raised both hands in surrender - more an automated reaction than anything else as Din was still not looking at him.
“Fine,” Migs rolled his eyes and had to suppress an annoyed huff. Sometimes Din was difficult. Migs made an effort to breathe through his nose when he made his way back into the ship. In former times, back before Morak Migs would have had no issue with dropping anyone who came too close to him and acted in a way that was the smallest bit annoying. But he loved Din - had loved him for some time now - and as Migs had come to learn the hard way, being withdrawn and sometimes even rude was an indication that he was working through something out of his comfort zone. It had not yet happened very often which was why it still caught him by surprise and - to his shame - made him feel rejected even though he knew that it was not intended by Din.
Migs made an effort to actively push back the feelings and busied himself by playing with Grogu and fixing the caf machine that he had gifted himself after their first successful gig together. He should have invested more money because that stupid thing needed fixing constantly. It was usually just a minor issue but it was a bad start to the day when he wanted to enjoy a cup of steaming hot caf in the morning only to find it had decided to kriffin’ stop working overnight.
By the way Grogu looked at him over his little toys he was currently treating the piece of trash that was supposed to be a caf machine a bit more aggressively than appropriate.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Migs said to Grogu even though obviously the boy hadn’t said anything. “But sometimes he’s just so…I don’t know. Sometimes he’s difficult. But I guess the Quacta should not call the Stifling slimy.” Grogu looked at him with big eyes.
“Yeah, I know, I know, I am probably unfair and you don’t want to hear that about your dad.” Migs sighed and turned back to the caf machine which he now treated with more care.
It was already dark when Migs admitted defeat. This stupid thing would not work and he was just inches away from hauling it at the wall. Frustrated, he pushed it back into the cabinet when Din entered the ship.
"Were you more successful with the ship than I was with the caf machine?" asked Migs, pointing to the toolbox in Din's hand.
"Yes, we are ready to go," Din said simply and stowed the box away.
"Great, what was the problem?" asked Migs casually, not because he was particularly interested in the technical details, but because he wanted to make an effort.
"Nothing I couldn't handle," Din said and made his way to the fresher.
Ouch, Migs thought angrily, that effort went right down the drain.
Dinner that night was a tense affair, and since neither Migs nor Din were in a good mood, Grogu went to bed much earlier than usual, and they both got ready for bed as well. They were still working with the white sheet that surrounded the lower bunk bed, and since the confession of their feelings back when they lived with Din's - their - tribe, they had shared that lower bunk bed. Din had already slipped under the covers, leaving Migs a few minutes to get ready. They had not done anything really physical in the few weeks they had been not only married but a real couple. Migs had left it to Din to control the pace at which their relationship progressed in the physical sense. Honestly, he would be happy if things stayed the way they were. Not that he would object to them being as close physically as they were emotionally, but only if Din was one hundred percent on board. Din was still as shy as he had been a few weeks ago, to the point where he would not be in the same room with Migs when they were getting dressed. At the moment, Migs appreciated it, because it gave him a few minutes to collect himself. When he could put off going to bed no longer, he pulled back the curtain a bit to peek inside.
Din looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Do you want me to sleep in the top bunk?" asked Migs weakly.
Din's eyes widened slightly, as if Migs' question had shocked him. Then he shook his head.
"Okay," Migs said, sliding into the narrow bed next to Din.
"Did I upset you?" Din asked uncertainly.
Migs turned his head and stared at Din in disbelief. He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow.
„Are you kriffin‘ kidding me? Yes, you pissed me off!" The anger he had done his best to suppress all afternoon caught up with him at Din's obliviousness. "You haven't spoken to me all afternoon, and I really don't know why. Would you like to enlighten me as to what I've done to deserve the cold shoulder you're giving me? Does it have to do with the girl this morning?" Even though Migs kept his voice low so as not to wake Grogu, his hiss conveyed his anger perfectly.
"Migs," Din said quietly and shifted to a sitting position. He hesitated for a moment before he continued, "Migs, I'm sorry, it's not about... it's not about you." His voice trailed off at the end, uncertainty in both voice and body language.
Migs sighed and moved to his knees as well. Slowly, to give Din a chance to stop him, he straddled his thighs and pulled him into a hug.
"Please don't be angry with me," Din whispered into Migs' neck.
"Can you tell me what was wrong with you today? Did I upset you?" Migs said, running his fingers through Din's thick hair. Din shook his head. Migs willed himself to suppress his annoyance and anger. He didn't want to be angry. He wanted to work this out.
When he had entered into a relationship with Din, he had known that Din was a complex character and that ups and downs were to be expected. At the same time, he knew that he loved Din with all his heart. He was very realistic about his own shortcomings and the advantage his increased experience with... human contact, as he would call it, gave him. Even though his own last real relationship had been so long ago that he could barely remember his feelings at the time. Nothing he had ever experienced had ever rivaled the intensity of the emotions he felt with Din. He would do everything in his power to make this relationship work, and controlling his own emotions was the least he could do.
"I was jealous," Din admitted quietly. Migs hummed, "That's okay, everyone gets jealous. I've been jealous a few times."
"That's not what upset me," Din continued. He took a deep breath and added weakly, "I know you would never have taken her up on that offer, but... I mean, I can't help but think... it's..."
"Ssh," Migs whispered in Din's ear, and he could feel goosebumps spreading down Din's arms. "What can't you help but think?"
"That you have every reason to take her up on it," Din choked out, pulling him closer.
"What?!" It was Migs' turn to be shocked. "Why do you say that? There is nothing she could give me that you could not do a hundred times better!"
"That's not true and you know it," Din's voice was strained and Migs was afraid he was going to cry.
"Of course it's true," Migs confirmed his earlier statement.
Din shook his head slightly but didn't elaborate. There was no need, Migs knew the source of his main insecurities very well.
"Is it about physical intimacy and sex?"
Din nodded after a moment of hesitation.
“Din, you cannot really think that it would ever be an option for me to go out to find an easy lay elsewhere while you are waiting for me to come back? Din, I love you and I know you. I promised you that I would not pressure you into anything, remember?"
A small nod.
“When I made this promise I knew very well that there was a realistic chance that you would never feel the desire to pursue a physical relationship. For me, being so close to you emotionally is all I ever need. That's enough for me, you are enough just the way you are. I love you, Din, please don't ever doubt that.
Din let out a shuddering breath. "I love you too. Migs, all I want is for you to be happy."
"I am, I am happy with you."
"But don't you miss..."
"I don't miss anything. There is nothing in my life before I met you that I miss. I am happy. Are you happy?" Migs planted a kiss on the top of Din's head.
"Migs, look, I would be fine, we can do it now, get it over with. I'm fine, I'd do anything for you..." Din suddenly said frantically, not giving any indication if he had heard what Migs had said, and pulled away from the hug. Even in the dark, Migs could see his deer-in-the-headlights look. Din reached out and slid his hand under Migs' collar, down his back. Din had never touched him under his clothes. Migs couldn't deny that the contact made his nerves tingle. His surprise lasted only a second before he grabbed Din's wrist and pulled him back gently but firmly.
The look of rejection on Din's face was heartbreaking. Migs planted a kiss on Din's hand, and even when Din tried to pull it back, he refused to let go.
"I thought-," Din stammered uncertainly, "Don't you want to...do't you want me?" The end was spoken so softly it was barely audible.
"Of course I want you," Migs whispered, squeezing his hand, "but you don't want that."
"I do," Din said weakly. With his free hand, Migs reached out and placed it on Din's cheek.
"You're tired, upset, and worried. If we are ever going to cross that line together, I want you to be happy and one hundred percent on board. I don't want you to want to just get it over with. If or when that time comes, I'll be happy to explore that with you."
"I don't want you to leave," Din admitted, sounding defeated.
"I love you. There is nothing that could make me leave. The only way to get rid of me is to tell me to fuck off," Migs assured him.
"Never."
Migs pulled Din's head against his own. After a few moments of their foreheads touching, Din chuckled slightly. "I don't know how I deserve you."
"Better?" Migs asked, smiling into the darkness himself.
"Are you still mad at me?" Din asked again, sounding much more relaxed than a few minutes ago.
"No," Migs replied kindly, "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me.
"You really mean what you said?" asked Din shyly, apparently needing more confirmation from Migs.
"Yes, you and I are a team and we work together. It doesn't matter if it's something from the outside or something between us, we work on it together. There's nothing we can't talk about, okay?"
"Yes," Din agreed.
"The next time you notice thoughts like this sneaking up on you, please talk to me, okay? It makes me feel bad when you shut me out like this." Din turned his head away in embarrassment, but Migs gently turned his head back to face him.
"Promise," Din agreed.
"Thank you."
They both moved to a lying position, their limbs intertwined so that it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended. As he fell asleep, Migs thought about how fresh their relationship still was, and how many more of these conversations they would have before they sailed into calmer seas. Migs looked forward to each and every step they would take. Together.