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The sky was clear and the weather pleasant that morning when Till decided to take a walk around the property where the band was staying for the preparation of the next album. Everyone was excited about this fresh start and after a two-year break the six were more than ready to start a new chapter.
He had his notebook prepared for a possible sudden idea and had even scribbled a few letters here and there. This place was really very energetic. Maybe too energetic since Till had been taken off his walk by a call from Flake asking him to come back to appease the fight that had happened some time after he left.
Till didn't know what it had been this time but he could already imagine who was responsible for the headache that was spreading with every step he took towards the gates of the estate. As if they knew what was waiting for them Paul and Richard were already in the living room each on the end of the couch both with serious expressions.
"It's good that you're both here and I don't have to chase the two divas. Can someone explain to me what was the reason this time?"
Richard and Paul stared at each other and Flake appeared as if he was studying his surroundings. Till was about to continue his sermon against Richard and Paul when the keyboardist stepped forward.
"Don't waste your time. This time it wasn't those idiots arguing it was Oliver and Schneider."
Till didn't hide the obvious surprise that took over his face. He was used to dealing with Richard and Paul's fights but Ollie and Schneider had never even raised their voices to each other. The drummer would get a little irritated when something didn't go his way but that irritation never affected Ollie who even on the bad days still kept him company by playing and helping with the arrangements on his parts.
"I know we aren't saints but what happened here was serious. I didn't witness the whole argument but they were out of their minds. I've never seen Ollie like that."
Richard shook his head at the memory and Paul cringed a little as he remembered the amount of times they had fought and argued over the years.
"For the first time I don't know what to say."
Till said and the room fell into a thoughtful silence. Flake continued to watch the stairs as if he could still visualize the way they both parted ways after the argument almost turned into something more violent.
"I don't know what we're going to do but we can't let it stay that way."
Paul was uneasy. He could really feel the shame taking over as he was finally on the other side of the coin and feeling what he and Richard were causing to others.
"Where are the two at the moment?"
Till seemed to have an idea which made the others a little more relieved. Flake knew that he would always be the voice of reason in the group. Even if it affected him directly, Till would always find a way to get things resolved. He loved him even more for that.
"Schneider locked himself in his room and Ollie came out and must be somewhere outside. I tried to go after him but Richard thought it best to give them both space to calm down before interfering."
"I know what it's like to be on the other side so there's no point in trying to talk to them now, let them calm down and think a bit, maybe they'll even apologize without us having to interfere."
The others agreed with Richard and a weary sigh came out of Till.
"Well for now what we can do is really give them both space but in case they don't work it out someone will need to talk to them."
The rest of the morning passed slowly. Till and Flake headed to the studio in the back of the house so they could start working on some of the singer's finished lyrics. Paul and Richard weren't in the mood for the studio and just opted to stay in the living room while watching some random movie on TV.
"You're missing the movie afterwards, don't come and ask me questions about it."
Richard nudged the other with his foot. Paul let out a low laugh but sighed afterwards which took the guitarist's attention from the TV screen straight to his face.
"Your forehead will fill with wrinkles if you continue with that worried expression."
Paul muttered a curse and the other laughed before opening his arms in a silent invitation for him to snuggle in. The shorter of the men crawled over until they were both on the same side of the couch. Paul sighed contentedly as he fitted himself into the space between Richard's arms. The guitarist kissed the other's neck and tightened his arms around him.
"Do you think they will be okay?"
Paul was really worried about that fight. Richard had been shaken up too. Ollie and Schneider had been inseparable and friends for longer than some of them so seeing them like that was really uncomfortable especially when a few years ago it was Richard and Paul in their place.
"I don't know what the argument was about but if the two of us can sort out our differences even though we are two hard heads I have no doubt they will soon be fine."
Paul chuckled at the comparison but nodded slightly. His eyes met Richard's and he felt the silly grin forming on his own face.
"We resolved our differences in a very interesting way."
Richard rolled his eyes but smiled as he shook his head in disbelief. They'd obviously had bad times but it was almost hilarious how all their biggest disagreements were because of unresolved feelings between the two of them.
The couple were exchanging kisses and laughs reminiscing about old times when the front door opened and Ollie, still looking upset, emerged. The guitarists sat down and watched the bassist's agitated way of moving.
"Ollie? Are you ok?"
Oliver seemed to notice them both and sighed defeatedly. His shoulders were bowed and his face tense and pale as he seemed to think about what to answer.
"I don't know. I don't know what to do."
He lowered his gaze. His hands were clasped together and he looked as if he was about to collapse. Richard reached over and touched his back, trying to give him some comfort. He led him to the sofa where Paul was now waiting for him to talk.
"First of all, take a deep breath."
Ollie did as Paul asked and they waited until he was a little better. Richard brought his friend a glass of water and sat down on the couch near where they were.
"Better?"
He nodded and the couple exchanged a few glances before they started talking.
"Do you want to talk about what happened today?"
Ollie looked in the direction of the stairs where earlier he and Schneider had been arguing, his heart seeming to shrink as he remembered what had happened.
"I screwed up."
It was the only thing he could elaborate after a while in silence.
"Listen I know we're not the same people but Richard and I have had worse fights than this and look where we are today. All is not lost."
He denied it with a saddened corner smile. His eyes met Paul's and the guitarist felt the desperation emanating from them.
"He hates me. I said the wrong thing and now he hates me."
Richard realizing where this conversation was headed and quickly sent a text message to Flake asking him and Till to try to talk to Schneider.
"Sometimes in the heat of a fight we say things that aren't true. There's too much history between you two for an argument to end it all."
Richard tried to convince him that he still had a chance to resume whatever his relationship with the drummer is.
"You two don't know but in the years we were apart we met a few times. At first it was just to get out of boredom. We would go surfing or somewhere different than usual and so things changed. That is, at least for me."
He looked down at the bracelet that had never left his wrist since the day Schneider had won it at one of those game booths and gave it to him as a gift. Especially for him.
"Every minute away from him was like a part of me was missing. The problem with being in love is that the more time passes the more you get ambitious. I had planned to tell him at some point but the right moment never came up so Till called to discuss the album and that's when I got up the courage to do something about these feelings. Well I guess you can tell it wasn't my best idea."
Paul and Richard were silent for a while. They were visibly shaken by the younger man's revelation. His moments before confessing had been a nightmare for both him and his friends. Sleepless nights, silly fights and several interrupted rehearsals later here they were trying to counsel their friend.
"You need to talk to him, Ollie. As much as Schneider refuses you need to do it not just for him but for you. No matter how it ends, talk to him."
Richard agreed with his boyfriend. Ollie seemed to think about it.
"I want to talk to him but I really doubt he wants to see me."
"And that's where you're wrong. We talked to him while you were here and he's waiting in his room."
Till said pointing up from where Flake was descending with a smile on his face.
"Hurry up and please get ready, I can't take another pair of divas."
Richard and Paul complained in unison but Ollie didn't notice rushing to get up the stairs. The quartet watched as the bassist disappeared and Flake threw himself against the couch where Paul was.
"Why do you all need to be so dramatic? What's wrong with declaring yourselves as normal people?"
Flake complained and received a kiss from Till who leaned on the couch where he was with his arms crossed and his best expression of impatience.
"That's the fun of being in love mon amour."
Flake muttered something about them being a bunch of lovey-dovey idiots. The rest just shrugged and laughed agreeing with the keyboardist. They really were a bunch of idiots.
Ollie had faced many controversial situations in his life, but none of them compared to this one. He had been standing in front of the door for a few minutes, his breathing was hard because of the climb and his heart was beating like crazy. With a last breath of courage, he knocked lightly against the wood. As if waiting on the other side, Schneider opened the door in a matter of seconds.
His eyes were red and full of determination and a hint of something else that Oliver couldn't quite identify. His throat was suddenly dry and he had to run his tongue across his lips, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by the drummer's blue eyes.
"Come in."
His voice was firm and caused goose bumps to rise all over the bassist's body. He entered the room that despite being temporary had all the Schneider's flair. His eyes trailed to the bed but he didn't want to cross the line with the other one so he made his way to the window. The view was amazing and if it was any other time Ollie would have taken a lot of pictures but at the moment all he could think about was how to start that conversation.
Schneider sat on the end of the bed facing the window where Oliver seemed to be choosing which words to say. It wasn't long before he heard the hesitant voice begin to speak.
"I'm sorry. For the fight earlier and especially for everything I'm about to say."
He swallowed dryly and continued.
"I know things between us can't be fixed anymore but I still need to be honest. I've been building up these feelings for so long that it's a little hard to talk about but I owe it to you so I just ask that you listen. Just for today at least."
Ollie looked away to watch Schneider's face and he just nodded without making eye contact. He turned his attention away from the drummer and back to the large tree in the middle of the clearing.
"I'm not sure how it all happened but the truth is I've always admired you. When Richard brought you to our apartment that day I felt a new kind of excitement. You were easy to talk to and maybe that's why we got close so quickly."
He smiled remembering the time when they were just kids playing for fun.
"After that it was kind of hard for me to take my eyes off you. As the years went by and my admiration grew more and more it was then that we had the break and from there I began to understand that maybe the overwhelming feeling I felt whenever I was with you was not just admiration."
He paused for a moment wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. He didn't look at Schneider. If he noticed even a trace of strangeness in those beautiful blue eyes he would run out the door and never have the courage to appear in front of him again so he swallowed the nervousness that twisted his stomach and continued.
"I'll never forget the moment I realized I was completely in love."
Oliver smiled at the memory. Schneider had invited him to an amusement festival that was passing through Berlin. The festival featured music, games and even an amusement park. Schneider was radiant that day and if Oliver wasn't already completely smitten he would have fallen in love with him that day.
"We were at that festival and you kept trying to knock those bottles over even though you had already lost several times. I didn't understand why you wanted that prize so badly until you managed to knock the damn bottles over and I swear the world stopped at the exact moment you looked at me with your face flushed from the effort, your eyes shining and that smile that still appears in my dreams today. You looked so beautiful and when I realized that you had done all that to give me this bracelet that's when I realized that I was hopelessly in love with you. It may be a bit silly but no one had ever tried so hard for me but you as always surprised me."
He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed knowing that the outcome of this story was not going to be a happy romance like his friends. He would be very grateful if they could remain friends but with everything he had told him he doubted Schneider would accept to have any kind of contact with him.
"I hope you forgive me and that we'll still be friends, even if it's painful not having you... losing your friendship is even more terrifying so…"
He swallowed the rest of his words as he heard the rustling of the bed and the sound of Schneider's footsteps. Oliver turned to face where he stood watching him intently, he waited patiently for a reaction but all was quiet for a moment until a pair of arms took him by surprise in a tight hug.
Ollie doesn't know how to react. His arms were locked midway between hugging him or just staying in the air. Schneider gasped and a painful sound escaped his lips. Ollie only understood what was happening when he felt the tears wetting his shoulder. His hands this time were skillful in holding him carefully.
"I'm an idiot."
He pushed the bassist a little so their eyes could meet. Oliver's greenish eyes exuded concern and a little relief.
"I should be the one apologizing. I was a fool to fight with you instead of talking. Forgive me, Ollie."
"Of course I forgive you, but only if you forgive me too."
Schneider shook his head, his tears were more controlled now, so he took a few steps back to disengage himself from Ollie, who interpreted the gesture as a denial. It was obvious that he didn't want to be touched by him. Ollie was about to apologize once again, but Schneider was quicker.
"I need to clarify a few things so now I'm asking you to listen to me."
Ollie didn't have the voice to answer so just nodded and waited until he was ready to speak.
"I never had a problem making friends and after I started playing it became even easier to be around people but still I never had the opportunity to have someone I could trust. At least I never felt like I could trust anyone. Until our paths crossed and my life turned upside down with the band. Many people may judge you as cold and distant but I always knew that you were one of the few who would give their life for the sake of each of us and while for some that is just an act of friendship for me it has become so much more."
He smiled lightly, staring at the taller man's tense face.
"You turned out to be my safe haven. And when we had that break my mind went to work thinking of ways to bring you close. It was a selfish thought but I somehow wanted your attention to be on me. The thought of going weeks without seeing him scared me more than the future of the band so one day I had a few drinks and decided I would call him out. I convinced myself that it was just a friends' night out so we could get back together after two weeks away and that was all it took for the confusing feelings that had been building up in my heart to finally become clear."
Oliver was paralyzed, his eyes were shining and his ears were flushed but he remained silent waiting for Schneider to continue.
"We agreed to go surfing that day and you were so excited that even though I wasn't a pro I felt like I could win any championship if you were by my side."
He smiled at the memory of them falling off the surfboard trying to balance themselves. Ollie had much better balance than Schneider but their laughter was preventing him from being able to stand up for more than a few seconds.
"I had never had as much fun as I had that day and I thought if things stayed like this I could handle it but when I said goodbye that an emptiness took over my heart. My mind went to work thinking of other ways we could have fun and well the rest you know.
Ollie nodded slowly. His hands were shaky and sticky with sweat but he kept listening.
"I ended up falling into the trap I created for myself and the more time we spent together the less I wanted to be apart from you. A lot of the time I wanted to have the courage to ask you to come over to my place but I didn't know what I would do if you said yes so I preferred to put all that aside and just have fun in the few hours we had."
Schneider felt the smile on his own face as he remembered the times Oliver had called him for surprise outings. The bassist hardly ever asked him out so he was always very eager.
"Time went by and every day I tortured myself even more with these feelings. I tried to let it go and carry on as if none of it affected me but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I felt like I needed to make a move but I always lost my nerve when we were together. For a while I thought I could handle whatever the outcome of a possible confession might be but the truth is I was scared. I was too scared of losing you Ollie so I kept it all in."
Oliver was a bit surprised and still processing everything but something was bothering him so he broke the silence and asked what was torturing him since the moment Schneider started talking.
"So you like me?"
Schneider didn't have to think long to nod, and this time it was he who was taken aback by the bassist's arms caging him in a hug.
"I thought you hated me. You reacted so badly when I declared my feelings that I thought I'd blown it. I'm so relieved to know you like me too."
"That's why I said I was an idiot."
Schneider moved away a little so he could watch the other's face. His eyes were a little red but he could feel everything Ollie felt. Every worry, despair and fear that occupied his heart had been replaced by a tender look full of hope. The way Oliver looked at him was enough to let him know that he could see the same look in him and that was enough for him to open his heart.
"When you declared yourself part of me wanted to explode with joy but another part, my fearful part, made me retreat and when I realized how much time we wasted on insecurities and fears it made me angry. Not at you specifically. I was just frustrated that we wasted so much time and it eventually led to that terrible argument. I'm really sorry Ollie. I didn't mean to lose my temper, I was just really scared and I was a fool to react that way."
Ollie pulled him closer and took Schneider into his arms. Schneider relaxed and breathed in his scent, gradually calming down.
"I forgive you and you have forgiven me so let's forget this moment."
Schneider nodded and snuggled further into the taller man's arms. Ollie took advantage of the closeness to do what he always wished he could when he couldn't. Schneider felt his heart leap when he felt warm lips against his bare shoulder.
His breathing was noisier and Oliver noticed the change by smiling as he left another kiss on exposed skin, this time on his neck. Schneider gasped and his hands took hold of the bassist's shoulders. They were face to face now. Schneider's lips were parted, his cheeks reddened and his gaze lost between Oliver's greenish eyes and his lips.
Schneider cut the distance between them and with a single movement the world seemed to have frozen. Their hearts were fluttering. Schneider's hands tightened around the back of Ollie's neck and Ollie took the initiative to move his lips, his hands finally settling on Schneider's waist and he knew that whatever worries he had were all gone.
Schneider ran the tip of his tongue over his lips and Ollie captured it before he could pull back. Schneider gasped again and their tongues tangled. Their breaths were ragged when they finally pulled apart to breathe. Ollie had a huge grin on his face that was resting against the drummer's forehead.
"I've been wishing for this for so long."
Schneider managed to find the breath to murmur. Oliver grunted in agreement and poured more kisses all over Schneider's flushed face.
"I don't know how I've gone this long without doing it. I dreamed of the moment I kissed you and drove you crazy for more."
Oliver gasped and bit the reddened tip of Schneider's ear, who moaned at the thought. His gaze was blazing with the idea.
"Don't talk like that or I won't be able to take it."
Schneider whined, burying his eager face in the shoulder of the younger man who was now laughing, obviously amused by his frustration.
"I'll save those ideas for later. Now we need to go downstairs and tell the others that everything is settled. They were apprehensive about our fight."
Ollie held Schneider's face in his hands. His face was reflected in those beautiful blue eyes and he smiled before saying what he had been holding back for so long.
"I love you. You have no idea how much. I want to enjoy the rest of my days, good or bad, by your side. So please, be mine."
Schneider's eyes, if possible, became even brighter. His smile was so beautiful that he felt he might be blinded by such perfection.
"I want nothing else but to be with you. My heart is beating so wildly and it's all because of you so of course I accept but in return you have to accept to be mine forever and ever."
Ollie smiled, kissing his handsome smile before replying.
"I'm already yours. Always have been."
Schneider held his face carefully and his hands caressed his prominent cheekbones and he smiled.
"I love you, Ollie. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I feel like I'm going to burst with love at any moment. I couldn't be happier."
He brought their lips together this time in a slightly quieter kiss. They would have all the time in the world so he didn't want to speed anything up and just let himself go.
The quartet was still in the living room when the couple emerged holding hands and huge smiles on their faces. Richard was the first to notice them, a look of concern was soon replaced by a smile when he noticed their intertwined fingers.
"Well I see everything turned out alright in the end."
The others looked up and gave Richard identical smiles. They congratulated them and Till decided it would be a good idea to celebrate the reconciliation and the couple's future with a few drinks, like in the old days, where they sat around the table and drank and talked. Paul loved the idea and pulled Richard in to help him set up the table that was in the backyard of the property near the pool.
Flake and Till went to the bar in the house to find something to drink, and Schneider leaned on his boyfriend's shoulder.
"Are you happy?"
Schneider just smiled.
"Yes. More than I thought I could ever be."
Ollie smiled too and planted a loud kiss on his lips.
"Oh, damn. As if the two divas weren't already enough I'm going to have to put up with another couple kissing."
Flake emerged with two bottles of vodka in his arms. Schneider and Ollie pulled away and to their surprise the keyboardist had a huge smile on his face.
"I'll forgive because you two are too cute and because of that Till finally let me drink his precious vodkas so keep being mushy for today, I don't care."
The couple laughed and made their way to the outside of the property where the table was already surrounded with some snacks, glasses and drinks of all kinds. Till poured each of the glasses and took one for himself and stood up towards the sky that was even clearer than it had been earlier in the morning.
"A toast in the name of love and the future that awaits us."
The others raised their glasses and toasted before turning everything over. Flake seemed really determined to drink those bottles of vodka so Till pulled him over to one of the chairs and the two began to drink and talk while occasionally exchanging caresses. Richard and Paul decided to take a dip in the pool. The two guitarists were playing catch and when one was caught they kissed as if there were only the two of them there.
Ollie and Schneider were on a swing that was attached to one of the trees near the pool and the table where the drinks were. Schneider was snuggled against Oliver's body, who was stroking his arms in a slow caress. Their lips found their way to each other again and again and so they spent the rest of the day.
Drinking, laughing and surrounded by lots of love.