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Quackity was alone.
He wishes he wasn’t, but he is. He wishes he had someone, but he doesn’t. He lost everything that was dear to him. He lost his child, his shining star, the reason he woke up in the morning. Why? He wasn’t there enough. People tried telling him otherwise, that it wasn’t his fault. At first he believed them, blaming anyone else he possibly could. Including the man that was actually responsible for the death. But at some point all the guilt and grief came crashing down.
People made attempts to help him, trying to cheer him up. But it never got far. He felt like all their attempts were only surface level, he felt like he was a pain to look at; a depressed shell of a man.
He sunk into a pit of loneliness, trying to be strong but all his attempts were proven worthless. At some point yes, he had be stable enough to try and make a deal to get Tilín back, he got told by the federation that they’ll ‘Think about it’ that wasn’t good enough for him. He needed his kid back as soon as he could. Waiting does nothing.
He was severely grief stricken, life felt like a pain.
He barely got up in the mornings, his afternoons were spent by Tilin’s grave and by night he was wondering around, hoping and praying cucurucho finds him and brings his kid back, he looked and felt miserable.
He felt a lot of emotions, one seemed to overshadow his sadness at a later point in his grief; jealousy.
He didn’t want to think he was a jealous person and definitely didn’t want to admit it, but he was jealous.
He became jealous of the happy life Roier managed to build for himself, even after Bobby passed. How he was able to have people support him through it all. He craved that desperately, but it was always out of reach for him.
Eventually, all of his jealousy and desperation among other emotions, manifested into a form of destruction.
For a good few weeks he convinced himself that he was in love and was to be married, deep down he knew that wasn’t true. He just liked the idea, the thought that someone liked him enough to be fully committed; even if the man he wished he was with was miles and miles away.
A lot of people looked at him like he was crazy; hypercritical eyes followed him wherever he went.
Granted, his actions didn’t help him with those stares.
He blew up a wedding venue.
It was a stupid and dangerous act, he’s aware. At that moment, he felt numb; he’d been numb since the day they buried his child. He thought a marriage at festa junina would help. It didn’t. He didn’t understand,
“why don’t I feel anything? I thought that as soon as I got married I’d feel something”
He came to a conclusion that day, he needed to be able to love himself before loving another person. He was trying, but that didn’t mean the jealousy still wasn’t there.
He didn’t set the tnt off during the ceremony, despite popular belief he’s not a monster. The eggs were all around and as much as he thought he wanted to ruin the wedding, he’d rather have them stay alive.
The second the place blew up he ran away, one thing he knows he’s good at is running. Running from his feelings, his emotions. Everything he could possibly think of.
He did eventually return to the party, funny enough no one seemed to care that much.
He observed everyone, people laughing, dancing, they’re all happy. Happy and content with their lives.
Roier and Cellbit were happy together. Excited to start a new chapter in their lives.
He looked at them with the most envious eye, he wanted something like that. He sulked.
At some point his state was so apparent that Etoiles came up to check on him, granted Etoiles did care for Quackity quite a bit so it made sense he’d check on someone he’s close to. But Quackity didn’t see it like that. He didn’t feel as connected to people as he once was.
Cucurucho found him.
That was the last person he wished to see that day.
Cucurucho brought him into the federation building, Quackity felt just a little bit of hope that he’d be truly happy again.
It was too late though. The once happy man people knew was barely there, he had some cheerful moments every once and awhile but he’d go back to feeling empty and numb right after.
As he was lead into an office room he noticed the door shut behind him, it was locked.
It was a trap.
Before he’s able to fully process anything, the floor starts opening up. The feeling of panic rushed through his body, he tried to grip onto the corner of the room but his attempts were no use.
It was like he was being swallowed whole. He felt pathetic. Chills washed over his body as he fell into the water. His fists banged on the flooring above him, he hoped and prayed that this would just be over soon.
Soon enough he froze, however he was still alive. He’d slip in and out of consciousness; his thoughts ran rampant. He made a lot of mistakes in his life and if he has the chance he’ll make things right once he’s out of here. That is if he makes it out.
He’s not sure on how long he’s been frozen or how he has survived this long without a food source, sometimes he thinks it would’ve been better had he just died.
It’s been around seven weeks since he’s been here, he of course doesn’t know that though. All the days feel the same to him, one big blur. His body felt numb, he feels himself loosing his grasp on his senses by the minute.
He just lays here, thinking. Thinking about his life, how sad it became. How he could’ve been a better parent. He could’ve been a better person.
He hopes someone finds him. And he hopes it’s soon.
But until someone tries to, he’ll stay here, losing his grip on reality and reflecting on his actions.
One thought that brought comfort is that if he doesn’t make it out,
he’ll at least be with Tilin sooner.