Chapter Text
The sound of loafers on asphalt was all I could here as I looked forward. With determination, and of course some fear, I forced myself to take every step closer to my possible doom. It was a stupid mission, honestly I couldn’t get over the point of it: Stop an army of toilets with human heads. It was down right stupid, and an even dumber way to die.
That didn’t undermine the objective danger of the situation, the biggest of the Skibidi Toilets were two times larger than the biggest Cameraman. Even worse, as I peered forward, I noticed a line of some of the biggest Skibidi Toilets I had personally seen. I realized then this was a death mission, sure, they could take out a few of the toilets, but they would definitely lose the battle.
Even with that in mind, I didn’t stop marching. Well, less marching and more… walking. I looked at my peers, many of which must have reached the same conclusion, and none of them seemed any less determined to fight. It was comforting, knowing that I was going to die side by side with other courageous fighters. I knew they would have my back.
“Hey, you.” I heard someone to my right whispering. I turned to look. “Have you noticed how much bigger those toilets are than we are?”
I looked at my fellow Cameraman. He had a black camera, one of the only ways to distinguish cameramen. “Yeah, I have.” I looked forward. “We’ll be fine.” I couldn’t help feeling good about my excellent pep talk.
I suddenly heard explosions up front, as well as the faint-
Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes
-and I knew that I was almost there. A handful of Cameramen had already made it, I was only a minute of walking behind. I looked to my right where a few Cameramen were securing our flanks, then back forwards. My body wanted to stop moving, to freeze in time, but my mind wouldn’t let it. I turned to my right, gave my fellow Cameraman a thumbs up, and then I heard it. The normal battle cry the toilets sang was dwarfed by a much deeper and louder voice, one to my right.
At our right flank, the largest Skibidi Toilet I had seen stood(?) tall. Unlike the normal toilets, this one was frowning, and had a strange yellow glow to its eyes. I looked in terror, hoping the yellow buildup was just Jaundice, before yellow beams of light shot from its eyes, ripping through the cameramen at the front lines.
Just then, hell broke loose. The determination of the Cameramen vanished into thin air as the militia ran away. I started sprinting, hearing the explosions behind me. I jumped behind a car as that sickening song ran through the city. I watched as the last of the Cameraman militia ran past me. Getting to my knees, I looked over the car, trying to see what the toilets were doing. And to my dismay, they were following us, picking up speed as they chased their prey.
I realized I should have just kept on running, I don’t know what I was thinking. At that moment, I realized I had to do something; no guardian angel was going to come out from the fog, it was just me, and my wits.
I looked around, and I decided the best thing for me to do would be to break a window in the nearby building, and try to get away without being spotted. I searched the ground for something to break the glass with, but ended up empty handed, and fittingly enough, I decided to use my gloved hand. With no time to spare, I made a fist, and punched the glass in. After clearing out the broken glass, I tumbled into the window, landing camera first into the carpeted floor.
I got up, dusted off my suit, and looked around. I seemed to be in some sort of first floor reception area. I slinked past the desk, hoping that no toilets called this place home. It was unlikely that any toilet was in here, most of them had grouped up in armies and roamed the streets, but better safe than sorry.
I looked out the window, seeing that most of the toilets were going down the street; none of them even looked at me as they chased off other Cameramen. I felt bad, not being able to help, but I really couldn’t do anything. Any of the Skibidi Toilets that were small enough for me to take out stalked the streets in large groups, I’d have to be a much better toilet assassin that I was.
Once the coast was clear, I left the building I was staying in. As I walked onto the asphalt, I suddenly felt very lonely and lost. The only point I really had was to join up with my fellow Cameramen and fight some toilets. There wasn’t anything else to do, anyway. The toilets were rapidly taking over, and the Cameramen couldn’t fight back. I sighed as I looked around. I picked a street to go down, and I started walking, checking every dark corner and watching my back for any toilets that might want my head.
As my stroll waned on, I noticed the sky darkening. It was concerning how fast noon turned to dusk, but I couldn’t do anything about it. My lens wasn’t exactly adequate for the darkness of night, and, while I doubted the Skibidi Toilets had night vision, I really didn’t want to take any chances. I found a hotel, and decided to hide out there for the night. Not exactly what a true fighter would do, but I was doing what was smart.
I sat under the desk, thinking of any sort of weakness I could exploit from the toilets, but I couldn’t think of anything. Besides the flusher on the back of the toilet, and the smaller toilets explosive nature, what could be exploited from them? Nighttime turned to dawn as I realized that I had been a total failure. Not only was I part of a totally failed defense, but I had spent the whole night hiding under a desk. I felt so ashamed.
As I left the hotel, going out into the city once again, something caught my eye. Out in the distance, hovering in the sky, were huge Skibidi Toilets. I couldn’t believe it! I adjusted my lens, but nothing changed. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so ashamed about my lack of action when this was what I was up against. I put my camera in my hands in defeat. Then I looked back up, and to my amazement, the toilets were falling. I saw Cameramen falling from the toilet, and I realized that they had actually got on top of it, and flushed it.
Maybe I really had no reason to be a coward after all, maybe we were going to take it back. But, as things were then, what could I really do? I sat on the curb as I thought about it, but my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car. As I turned in the direction of a sound, a military Jeep pulled up in front of me. A Cameraman poked his head out of the driver side window.
“Hey, you! Get in.”
I got up as quickly as possible as the backseat’s left door swung open. A friendly Cameraman beckoned me in as I sat next to him.
“Hey, I’m Leutrim.” He offers me his hand, and I shake his hand firmly.
“I’m Povel.” I responded, already enjoying being with other Cameramen.
“Yeah, yeah, are we done with the introductions? So, I would be sending you to a big standoff happening over there.” The driver says, pointing generally to the right. “However, I just got word that we have a special operation, and you guys are going to deliver an important message.”
He looked back at us. “Just get that to our guy, and then find the nearest Cameraman army to make yourselves useful. If you follow the red lines on the map, you should get there.”
Leutrim pulls out a folded sheet of paper from his suit jacket. He unfolds it to reveal a crude map drawn on it with a red line, and on the back, ‘The Plan is Ago at 3:00 PM’, crudely written in red. Under the message was written something I couldn’t quite catch.
“I’ll drive you a bit further, but you’ll have to walk the rest of the way. And make sure you get that message to our guy, this is very important.”
I looked at Leutrim, before shrugging. I glanced at the writing on the back of the map, holding it down so I could read the rest of it:
“BABA-BOOEY”