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Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Merlin they opened a Hot Topic in Hogsmeat! I’ll need a hot-t-t-t-t-t outfit for the ball! She immediately passed the graphic tees in favor of the manic panic hair dye and clearance outfits. She was browsing when the salesperson came over. She was shocked to see Malfoy’s trademark blonde self in the store. She put aside her Malfoy worries for a minute to focus on the most important thing - her outfit. She picked out a black cropped tee with “cut to the core” written on it, a hot pink pleated mini skirt, and chunky black boots. She also had hot pink fingerless fishnet gloves and thick black eyeliner. All of the sudden Hermione sees Goyle looking through the outfits. He sees Hermions and checks to see if anyone was in the vacinity, then asks, “Would you go to the ball with me?” “What?” said Hermione. “What are you even wearing? Just because you’re an animagus doesn’t mean you know fashion, Goyle.” “Go away with your frog self”, Hermione hightailed it out with her purchases before any other slytherins could interrupt her thoughts. Suddenly, she was stopped in her tracks by the most beautiful boy she had ever seen - Nico Di Angelo. He was tall with dark curly hair and was dressed in all black with skulls on his shirt. He was so hot-t-t-t-t-t-t-t that when he asked her to the ball, she could only stutter out a “yes” before she fainted. As she came to all she could think of was “Hey Now, You’re an All-Star…” As she dreamed of her entarance to the ball with Nico. On the day of the Yule2 Ball2, Hermione looked hot-t-t-t-t-t-t in her new outfit, so hot-t-t-t-t-t that Goyle turned into a frog and hopped to the lake to hang out sadly with the giant Squid. She went down to the Hall just in time to see a SECOND Giant SQUID strangling the lifeless body of Millicent Bulstrode. “Millicent, you’ve been murdered!” wailed Malfoy, clinging to the filmy black shirtfront of Hermione’s date, Nico.
The next thing Hermione was arm in arm with Victor, the band playing, the waltz started. She stared down at her blue dress in shock -- how did she get here and what happened to the squids? All of a sudden, everyone turned into Death Eaters and pulled magical katanas on her. “You are the true threat,” Voldemort started to scream but he was cut off by Hermione stabbing him with her own magic katana. Now with her mission complete, she could go back to her own time and her hot-t-t-t-t-t date with Nico. She looks around and sees a pair of pink skates that would go perfectly with her 2Yule 2Ball outfit. As she grabs them she realizes they are a portkey back to her time to the 2Yule 2Ball with Nico. Hermione landed with a gasp in her own time to see Nico and Draco staring into each other’s eyes. “I love you, Nico!” wailed Malfoy. “Well, forget it- at least I can go to America this summer and get hot-t-t-t-t-t-t-t!” said Hermione.
THE END
