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“I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you!” With those nine words, and a wonderful monologue about the various and multitudinous shortcomings of Mr. Etaris, I became the proud owner of Elderflower Books. Mrs. Etaris had given ownership of it to me in front of half of Ragnor Bella, but the next morning I woke up to the sound of banging at the door.
“Who is it?” I asked blearily, as it was entirely too early to be hearing noises this loud.
“Open up! It’s the Constabulary. You are unlawfully squatting in my book store.”
I opened the door, “Your book store? Mrs. Et—” Ms. Of-the-Sea? “Your ex-wife sold it to me. And sir, with all due respect, I have been working here for the past 12 months, and I have never seen you set foot inside, or even read the written word for that matter.”
That apparently was not the thing to say, I reflected, as his face turned red enough for me to worry about him having an apoplexy again.
He drew his sword. “Now listen, you upstart, I still have the deed, and as her former husband I retain the rights to this bookstore.”
I reentered the space of mortal danger, where I so comfortably existed. In a tenth of a second, I looked around. I had no sword on me. However, there was firepoker in reach. Clearly the goal was not to harm him, as I already had enough supposed crimes to my name. I picked it up, rapped his hand hard enough for him to drop his sword (which he admittedly had not been holding very well), another poke to the stomach got him doubled over, and I danced past him, jumped on his back and in three moves had the man under me, and on the floor.