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Stan finished watching his favorite movie for the fourth time that week, the thirteenth time in a month, and the thirty-second time this vacation. But there was still something missing. It felt incomplete, like a scene from the movie was missing. Or a character. A line maybe. Stan couldn't tell, but this feeling made his whole body uncomfortable.
No position seemed comfortable to sleep in, or to sit in, to be in. He put the notebook on his lap and the feeling of his legs too close together bothered him, so he put it on its side and lay down. After lying down, his face would sink into the pillow and that bothered him. If he rested his head on his arm, it would soon start to hurt. Nothing felt good, no place felt cozy, no clothes felt comfortable. He wanted to touch nothing, to float or not be able to feel anything anymore.
He turned off his laptop and put it on the desk. He stretched and yawned, raising his arms and stretching his back. He picked up his cell phone, which was charging on the nightstand, and checked his latest messages. There were about five messages from Craig that Stan hadn't heard coming in because he was too focused on the movie. They were all sent in the morning, when Stan was already deciding on the five movies he would watch all day so he wouldn't have to interact with anyone.
Maybe...
He looked at the calendar on his phone and realized that there was one week left until the end of the summer vacation, and Craig would arrive from his trip that exact day.
He didn't even look at the subject of the messages, he just typed something and sent it.
Stan: I miss you
Craig traveled to Arizona to visit some relatives with his mom. Normally, Stan went along with them, but this time he said it would be nice if he enjoyed his time with Laura. Craig begged him to go along, but Stan said the time would pass quickly and they would soon be together again. He asked Craig to text every day and call when he could.
Stan just couldn't imagine the torture it would be to go almost three months without his boyfriend. He said the days would pass quickly, but every second seemed to take an hour to pass. Stan would lie in bed at five o'clock in the afternoon, close his eyes for thirty minutes and wake up at five-one — that's how time was passing for him.
He was home alone most weekends because his parents went out to dinner and his sister was always going to parties. He only saw her the next day at lunchtime.
He left his room to take a shower at almost midnight and thought about preparing something to eat, but gave up when he saw that everything in the fridge would take too long to be ready or would require too much effort to turn into something edible.
Craig got out of the car after being woken up by his mother. As soon as he grabbed his backpack from the trunk, Laura pushed his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead.
— Go take a shower and go to sleep. I'll unpack tomorrow.
Craig just nodded and carried his things inside. He left his bags by the stairs and went upstairs at a near crawl. He grabbed any shorts and t-shirt comfortable enough to sleep in and was about to leave the room when his cell phone rattled in his pocket.
There was only one message from Stan. It said " I miss you ". It was all Craig needed for a smile to appear on his face. He picked out some other clothes and hurried to take a shower.
He missed Stan so much too that he couldn't put it into words. He spent the whole vacation without hugging him, without sleeping next to him and kissing the back of his neck when he woke up. He couldn't wait to warm himself in his embrace, to touch his lips to every part of his body after three months away.
He put on his ripped jeans and his red plaid shirt over a white t-shirt — both of which were about two sizes bigger than him — and put on his sneakers. He put on his chullo and put some money in his wallet. Before leaving, he took his skateboard from the closet. He met Laura in the hallway as he left his room in a hurry.
— Where are you going?
— To meet Stan — kissed her cheek. — I'm going to buy something to eat too.
— Be careful on the street. Don't come back late, you need to rest.
Craig just smiled and nodded. He stopped by Stan's favorite restaurant and ordered two hamburgers so they could eat. Craig knew that even if Stan had already eaten dinner, he couldn't resist eating a burger as good as that one.
He put the paper bag with the burgers on top of his skateboard as soon as he reached Stan's yard. He looked for pebbles on the sidewalk and started throwing them at the window.
Stan opened the window just in time to get stoned in the forehead. He let out a swear word and frowned.
— Sorry, honey.
There was the one Stan wanted to see the most.
— You can go to the front door, there's no one home.
He closed the window and went downstairs to answer the door. Craig ran up to him as soon as Stan opened the door, kissing his cheek and lips before he could say anything. Stan put his hand on his face and kissed his mouth gently.
— I didn't think you were going to come. Why didn't you go and rest?
— Seeing you is more important. — He lifted the package and placed it on the kitchen counter. — I brought dinner.
Stan's mouth filled with water as soon as he smelled the burgers. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one to Craig.
— Put it all in the bag, we're going to Stark's — he grabbed Craig around the waist and kissed his shoulder, smelling him again.
The couple set off to the lake in the center of the small town of South Park. The Stark was a huge lake and the site of many parties and get-togethers over the years, and it was Stan and Craig's favorite place, mainly because it was there that Stanley Marsh had finally taken the initiative and asked Craig Tucker to date him.
Stan climbed on top of Craig's skateboard, and Craig went leading him like a dog on a leash, holding his hand with his right hand and the bag with dinner in his free hand. They sat by the lake and toasted with their bottles of beer. He leaned his head on Craig's shoulder and felt an instant coziness.
Maybe that was one of the things Stan missed: Craig's body next to his. Whether it was lying next to him while they slept or just next to his, either way it was enough. Craig passed the bottle to his left hand and took Stan's free hand, intertwining their fingers, and gave it a kiss.
— What are you going to do this last week?
— I want to be with you. I wish you'd gone on the trip with me. — He took the burgers out of the bag and handed one to Stan. — I mean, it wasn't that bad, but it's kind of weird sleeping alone when I've gotten used to you by my side.
— Next trip I'll go.
— You promise?
— I promise.
Craig held out his little finger, forcing Stan to lift his and cross them, sealing a contract with Craig.
— I'll break your little finger if you walk out on me again.
Stan nodded, a little embarrassed.
He took a few bites of his burger until a new subject came up, but that was also short-lived. They exchanged a few more conversations until they were satisfied and drunk.
He leaned on Craig's shoulder again, seeking closer and closer. He curled his legs between Tucker's and he slipped his arm behind Stan’s neck, kissing his cheek. Craig brushed the cool tip of his nose across his cheek and whispered a "look here, babe" after kissing it — that was another thing that was missing: Craig's affectionate pet names.
The thing they both needed most was to look at each other. Craig loved looking into the magnificent shade of blue in Stan's eyes, just as Stan loved the feeling Craig's dark eyes gave him. He could almost see stars in them.
They stared at each other for a few seconds before Stan leaned in to kiss Craig on the lips. It was short, it was simple, and most of all, it was sincere. Craig's hand moved and stopped on his cheek, caressing and initiating a new, even deeper kiss. With his other hand, Craig caressed his leg.
That was the third thing missing: Craig's touches and his kisses. Stan wanted nothing more when he had Craig's hands roaming every inch of his body, always leaving a caress wherever he passed.
He liked it when Craig threaded his fingers through his hair in a sure stroke — only he knew how and where Stan liked to receive that caress. He also liked it when Craig's fingers touched his waist under his T-shirt. Or when the tip of his nose touched his neck, or when Craig's lips touched each of the spots where Stan most liked to be kissed. Absolutely everything Craig did, was with the purest affection and care, always with the pleasure and comfort of the other in mind.
Stan pulled off Craig's chullo and put it on his head. Craig smoothed his hair so it was just right and kissed his cheek. He whispered a compliment in Stan's ear and left another kiss there.
It started to get colder and colder down by the lake. When they decided to leave, they got on the skateboard together, Craig hugging Stan's waist from behind and responsible for making the skateboard go.
They threw themselves under the covers of Craig's bed when they arrived, trapping each other between tight hugs and warm kisses. Craig took the chullo off Stan's head just so he could stroke his hair and stick his face between the strands. He placed a series of kisses on the top of Stan's head and forehead, down his nose, across his cheek, over his lips and down to his neck, where he left a light red mark.
Stan yawned, followed by a weak laugh to try to cover it up. Craig wasn't stupid, and soon asked Stan to turn his back to him. He hugged Stan from behind and kissed the back of his neck in a precise spot, placing his leg between Stan's.
— Good night, honey — Stan whispered, intertwining his fingers with Craig's and relaxing his shoulders.
Craig replied muffled against his hair.
All that was missing for Stan was Craig. Nothing else. No matter what, he just wanted to spend the rest of the week curled up in his boyfriend's arms, smelling him, loving his intense gaze and melting under his touches and kisses.
He didn't want to leave there ever again. I never wanted to feel the torture of being away from Craig's affection for three months again.
He had promised that to him and to himself.