Archive of Our Own

Chris had settled into his routine at University fairly quickly. Or well, that was what he liked to say after having been there for a year.

He was lucky enough to not have to live in a dorm but have a small apartment off-campus. His dad provided for it, of course, since his studies and practice left no time for a job, but it was his nonetheless.

The new term hadn’t started yet, wouldn’t do so for another two weeks, but Chris had returned early from his vacation with his family in the states – practice started earlier than classes and he needed a head start. Not that he had been slacking off while overseas. He definitely couldn’t afford to.

Still, it was nice to be in his own four walls again and have a little peace and quiet. He especially liked sitting next to his open kitchen window early in the morning, just after sunrise, listening to the noises of the city slowly waking up.

He had just come back from his morning run, his sweaty shirt still sticking to his back, but he allowed himself five minutes to drink a cup of coffee before he showered. Of course it couldn’t be ideal for his muscles but the habit had become ingrained by now and it hadn’t killed him over the past year, so he rather chose to cool off before stepping into the bathroom.

After placing his empty mug in the sink he stretched, facing the window and watching two girls race past on their bikes on the street three stories beneath him. He smiled, brushed his hair out of his eyes with his left hand and then turned to finally take that shower his body needed.

While the warm water ran over his back he rolled his shoulders, instinctively looking out for any twinges, any stiffness, any irregularity in his right. It had been over two years since he had felt anything but some regular muscle aches or soreness after training but he still couldn’t stop himself from monitoring himself.

His father had wanted him to go to an American University – when did he ever not – and Chris had considered it for a while. But eventually he had decided against it. He was too old to make it on a University baseball team in the USA without a scholarship. And he liked Japan. Despite – or maybe because of – his experiences with the sport, he still wanted to play baseball in the country he loved.

He headed out around 9, the city already bustling around him as he walked towards the campus. He only lived a fifteen minute walk away and was happy about having found accommodations this close. No matter how hot or rainy it was he preferred walking through the haze of the city than being trapped in a full bus that he would exit only three minutes later in a throng of other students.

The library was empty except for a new professor trying to get his work done before the rush of the new year started and the odd student feverishly working on a very late paper – or possibly some make up work for a few missed classes.

He walked past them towards the table he commonly shared with a gaggle of classmates during exam season. Today it was empty except for Yuki who looked up from his notebook when he heard Chris approaching.

“Good morning,” he said as Chris pulled out the chair across from him to sit down.

“Good morning,” Chris echoed.

Ending up at the same University as the old Seidou captain hadn’t been a lucky accident. Chris had kept in contact with Yuki and strongly favored this University after hearing about their curriculum and gotten first hand reports about the training regimen from Yuki. He had just been lucky to be accepted.

The only thing he still wasn’t used to was being Yuki’s junior, despite being older than him.

After graduation he had been a little lost. He had known he wanted to continue playing baseball but he wasn’t sure where and he wasn’t sure if he could make it. So he had decided to take a year off, despite how damaging it was for his career and how much his father argued. And in hindsight it had been the better idea, because no matter where Chris went, he had always felt like something was pulling him back to Japan. Back home.

“Any good prospects?” he asked, nodding at the papers in front of Yuki.

Yuki shrugged. “I’ve heard of most of them,” he said, “all very talented, of course.” He scanned the list and Chris could see the hint of a smile on his face. “Two Seidou alumni.”

Chris leaned forward instinctively, trying to get a better look at the list but Yuki was covering it with his hand. “Who?”

Yuki tapped the table with his index and middle finger and now the smile was more pronounced. “Ryo’s little brother,” he said, “and – you’ll like this – Sawamura.”

The air escaped Chris’ lungs with a soft noise close to a sigh and he relaxed into his chair. He hadn’t dared to consider this, had banished all thoughts about Eijun coming to his University. But of course the boy was as stubborn as he was talented. Of course he had made it.

He felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “He got scouted?” he asked and Yuki nodded.

“Both of them on baseball scholarships,” he said, finally turning the list around and sliding it over the table for Chris to read. “Kominato could probably have gotten an academic one, too, but Sawamura wouldn’t have had the grades. I’m surprised he even made it through the entrance exams.”

Chris couldn’t help but chuckle. “I can imagine,” he said, “if he’s still as slow as he was during his first year...”

Yuki snorted. “Well he got his grades up considerably but still, they’re not as stellar as yours.”

“That would have shocked me, to be honest,” Chris said and pulled the list closer to take a better look. He frowned. “It doesn’t say their field of study…” Why was this essential information not part of the list?

“Yeah, registration apparently didn’t think that was important. You’ll have to ask him yourself, I’m afraid,” Yuki sighed.

Chris eyes wandered further down the list until they stopped at another familiar name. “Todoroki?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Yuki nodded. “I was surprised, too. But he’s a powerful batter and his fielding is a lot better than it used to be, apparently. We’ll just have to see that there are no… clashes.”

Chris laughed. “Maybe Eijun has mellowed out a little.”

Yuki looked at him as if he couldn’t quite believe that had just come out of his mouth but Chris just shrugged. It had been two years, was it so absurd to assume Eijun – and also Todoroki – might have grown a little?

Granted, Chris hadn’t talked to him in a while but just seeing his athletic and academic growth on paper already made him somehow… proud.

The truth was he had missed Eijun. He hadn’t gone back to visit Seidou last year and had only seen one game, so he was curious to see him again.

“We’re probably only going to do a three day training camp on a weekend again,” Yuki’s voice cut through his thoughts. “But that should suffice to at least get the entire team used to each other and we’re probably already going so see what we need to work on before that.”

“Do you already have a date?” Chris asked, handing the list back to him.

Yuki scratched his cheek. “It’s not set in stone yet but probably the second weekend after classes start.”

“That’s good timing,” Chris nodded. The workload wouldn’t be too bad yet and there was still some time until the actual competition season started.

Yuki looked at his phone for a moment. “I need to go,” he then said, “Jun wants to skype in half an hour.”

“Ah, I hope he didn’t break any equipment this time,” Chris laughed and Yuki rolled his eyes.

“I hope so, too,” he said and put his notebook and the list back into his bag. “I’ll see you next week!”

Chris watched him leave and then took out his own phone for a moment. No new messages, only the time displayed on his lock screen. He sighed and let it slide into his pocket again, eventually getting up to leave himself.

He was, if he was being completely honest, not only looking forward to seeing Eijun again. He also dreaded it a little. What if they had changed too much? What if they had changed too little?

***

By the time the next week – and with it the beginning of their training period – rolled around, that feeling had only gotten worse.

Yuki and the coach were already in the club room when he arrived for the assembly, despite him being half an hour early. But he really hadn’t expected any less work ethic from Yuki.

It only took one look at Chris for Yuki to raise an eyebrow. “Nervous?” he asked and Chris felt that there was no use denying it.

“A little,” he said. He’d never thought he would be confiding in Yuki as much as he had in the past year, but with Tanba off playing professionally, Yuki had quickly become Chris’ closest friend at University through natural progression.

“Well, Sawamura will be yours to deal with anyway,” Yuki said, “and he already knows and trusts you, so if you can build on that we have an advantage.”

Chris nodded but really, he wasn’t sure if he still knew Eijun.

“Do you have your speech ready?” he asked, trying to direct the topic onto Yuki’s new captaincy. He couldn't think about how long a time two years were now.

Yuki smiled a little. “This is my second go at this if you count Seidou so I knew what I was getting myself into.”

“And I’m glad about it,” the coach cut in. “I have high hopes for you this year.” He took a look at his watch. “Let’s go out to the field, there’s always someone who gets there early.”

Thankfully there was no one there yet, but just five minutes after they had gotten there the first team members arrived. All familiar faces from last year, Chris observed while greeting them.

“I heard there are two guys from your old high school joining this year,” Nakai, their shortstop, said, coming to stand next to Chris.

“That’s right,” he nodded.

“I saw some of their games last year. Which ones are we getting?”

“You’re making them sound like horses,” Chris replied with a sigh. “Sawamura, the pitcher and Kominato, second baseman.”

“Ohhhh!”, Nakai exclaimed. “That pink haired guy and the dude with the crazy form! Nice!”

Chris couldn’t help but laugh a little. Apparently this was still the reputation that surrounded Eijun. Well, it was certainly effective and would probably help him make his way in the professional world later on. “That’s them,” Chris said.

“I look forward to working with them, damn. Those pitches must be hard to hit. And that batter has some great skill.”

“Don’t tell me, I already know,” Chris said. “You can compliment them yourself if you need to get it out.”

“Are you kidding? I can’t go around complimenting teenagers.” Nakai shook his head. “I need to establish my superiority.”

“You’ll end up telling them anyway,” Chis mumbled under his breath, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he saw more people approaching the field. Teenagers or no, they were still humans.

“What was that?” Nakai asked with a grin.

“Nothing.”

Nakai just laughed and shook his head, taking a few steps to the side to talk to another friend. Talking to him could be exhausting but Chris could never withstand the urge to talk back either.

The last stragglers were a group of freshmen including a familiar mop of brown hair. When they came closer Chris could see Kominato and Eijun talking to each other, Eijun making a lot of hand gestures and laughing and Chris' heart sped up as if it had been conditioned to react. As if two years of almost no contact had not been enough time or space to wean it off.

As if he had felt his gaze Eijun turned towards him and stopped talking mid-sentence when he saw him. Chris could see the words dying on his lips and the smile that had started forming on his own face fell from it just as quickly. And all he could think was Oh no.

Eijun pressed his lips tightly together and now the younger Kominato brother moved closer to his side, jostling him a little. Chris bit his lip and averted his eyes.

When they reached the bigger group, Yuki clapped his hands.

“I think we’re all here now,” he said loudly. “So please line up. Freshmen, over there please. The rest of the team, behind me.”

Chris stepped behind Yuki, ending up next to Nakai again, and couldn’t resist the urge to follow Eijun with his eyes. He had lined up right next to Kominato, of course, and to his right was Todoroki, which didn’t surprise Chris in the slightest.

What surprised him though was how Eijun deliberately did not look at him. It didn’t seem like him at all, avoiding someone’s gaze, no matter what kind of history or problem he had with them. And Chris couldn’t help but feel bad for having stunned him into that uncharacteristic silence.

This was not the reunion he had hoped for. But it was one of the scenarios he had imagined over the past week.

He only vaguely listened to the first half of Yuki’s speech, which he knew was not the most polite thing to do but his mind was busy trying to figure out how to talk to Eijun later.

Only when Yuki told the new team members to introduce themselves he tuned back in, looking down the line at the first person. He knew all of them already, of course, not having shaken the habit of studying up on friend and foe alike, but having them summarise themselves in their own words was always worth the attention. He eventually had had to learn that knowing someone on paper and really knowing someone were two fundamentally different things.

They got to Kominato in their introduction before Eijun.

“My name’s Kominato Haruichi, nice to meet you,” he said. “I was second baseman in high school but I adapt quickly.”

Short but to the point. Chris still frowned a little. It felt to him like Kominato was hiding his light under a bushel. It was typical, but it didn't suit him.

Everyone shifted their attention to Eijun and Chris instinctively held his breath.

“Sawamura Eijun, pitcher and former ace of Seidou High,” he said with the same determination and energy he put into everything. “I don’t know if this was a good idea but here I am, so I’m gonna give it my all.”

There was some muttering, both in the ranks of the freshmen and around Chris. He could clearly hear Nakai say “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” next to him. He also saw Yuki and the coach exchanging a glance but they both let it slide, probably telling themselves to watch out for any commitment or motivation issues in training in the next few days.

He hoped there would be none.

Practice was awkward, to say the least. They had decided to make a quick performance and skill assessment before running a few drills and naturally Chris has been paired up with Eijun.

It wasn’t that Eijun refused to work with him. Or that he lashed out. He looked remarkably calm on first glance. The problem were his lack of control and his eyes. Chris had read up on him enough to know that his control had gotten even better in the last two years and that the throws were going all over the place despite the soft instructions he gave was definitely not normal.

Eijun probably even looked calm to everyone else. But Chris could see the tension in his shoulder and the fire in his eyes. And it was not motivation. It was anger.

Just because he didn’t lash out didn’t mean he was composed.

Chris knew the coach was watching them so after the tenth stray ball that almost went over his head he ground his teeth in frustration and got up with a resigned headshake.

“This isn’t working out,” he said to Eijun and saw a flash of hurt on his face. “I’m sorry.”

He went over to their other catcher. “Can you do the assessment with Sawamura, please? I don’t think my head’s in the game today.” A blatant lie but he’d rather take the blame himself than sabotage Eijun’s chances on the first day.

A frown and a shrug were his answer. “Sure, if you can handle this one for me.” Their former relief pitcher, Hiroto, had been groomed to become their new ace over the past months since their old number one had graduated but he didn’t live up to expectations so far. He was talented and had a lot of stamina, but his arm and his mental endurance still weren’t as strong as they would have liked.

Eijun really had a shot at this and Chris knew he could do it. With or without him.

He tried to catch Eijun after training but the young pitcher was practically glued to Kominato’s side and quickly pulled him towards the exit when he saw Chris approach.

“This isn’t going the way you would have liked, is it?” Yuki said, catching up to him and Chris shook his head.

“Not at all, really,” he sighed. “He’ll have to talk to me sooner or later though. He’s the confrontational type, he won’t be able to ignore me forever.”

“Maybe,” Yuki said. “But I hope it’s soon. For the sake of the team.”

He gave Chris a sympathetic clap on the shoulder and jogged off towards the locker room. Chris followed at a slower pace, his hands buried deep in his pockets and his brows furrowed.

By the time he got there, Eijun had already changed – obviously avoiding the showers for speed – and was waiting for Kominato to finish tying his shoes.

“Eijun…,” Chris said, but Eijun didn’t even acknowledge him. Instead he grabbed his bag from the bench.

“I’m gonna wait outside,” he said to Kominato and was out the door so fast Chris couldn’t react at all.

Kominato looked up and grimaced at him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “He didn’t know you were gonna be here, so he’s… surprised.”

Chris raised his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t call his behaviour ‘surprised’.” Eijun hadn’t known they would be going to the same University? How had no one told him?

“Yeah, I know. He’s just… I guess he’ll need some time to adjust.”

“This is ridiculous,” Chris said, shaking his head. “He should really talk to me. He’s never ignored a problem like this.”

Kominato’s mouth twitched. “Well, he’s not the type to ignore a challenge… Look, I’ll give you my phone number and I’ll try to talk some sense into him but I can’t promise anything. He’s stubborn as hell.”

“I just want to get him integrated into the team properly,” Chris said, trying to figure out a way to express himself to Kominato without revealing too much. “Our battery would be strong, but if he doesn’t want to work with me it can’t be helped. But I definitely want to figure this out.” He just wanted to be Eijun’s friend again.

He had never liked Kominato’s haircut, because it concealed so much of his face – including his eyes – that it was impossible to read his mood sometimes. Still, his expression right now almost looked like… pity? Like he knew exactly what was going on. Chris hated it.

He got his phone out of his bag anyway and exchanged numbers with him. He didn’t know if Eijun’s number was still the same and he didn’t dare ask. Maybe he would just try to text him later and see if there was at least something that hadn’t changed in the last two years.

Kominato took his leave after that and Chris headed to the showers where Nakai greeted him with a curious glance. Chris ignored him. He didn’t need his prying or his pity right now.

***

The situation didn’t get better. Eijun showed up to training on time and did everything that was asked of him – and more, as Chris could see him staying late very often – but over the course of the next week he didn’t exchange more than a few curt words with Chris.

Eijun showed his skill but Chris thought it was very obvious that Eijun wasn’t at his best and that he was the reason for it. Still, Kominato had reported that Eijun still refused to even consider talking to Chris and Yuki was just as baffled but Chris had asked him to let him handle it on his own. Making the captain intercept would probably only make Eijun blow up even worse in the end. Chris knew the explosion was coming, he just didn’t know when.

Eijun’s number wasn’t the same anymore. Chris’ texts remained unanswered and when he tried to call the automated voice told him the person he was trying to reach didn’t exist.

All the while Chris had to see Eijun in training every day, knowing that he was very real, close enough to touch, but unable to reach out to. It was like a nightmare.

He ended up texting Kominato out of sheer desperation.

Chris, 16:21: Did you know I was attending here?

He still couldn’t understand why Eijun had been so surprised to see him. Even if not many of the students in Eijun’s year had cared for him, he’d hoped that at least some of the second years had paid enough attention. Miyuki. Kawakami. Anyone.

Most of the old third years knew which University he was going to and Kominato was Ryo’s brother, after all. Although Chris didn’t know if they were on good terms at this point, not having talked to Ryo about his brother much.

The answer came soon after and threw him into a whole new world of confusion.

Kominato Haruichi, 16:28: I did, I’m sorry

Chris frowned. Then why. Why hadn’t Eijun known if his best friend had?

Chris, 16:30: Why didn’t you tell him??

He waited for the reply with baited breath but it took forever.

Kominato Haruichi, 16:53: I’m really sorry. It’s complicated… It was selfish.

Kominato Haruichi, 16:54: He was mad at me too, at first. I really regret it.

“What the fuck,” Chris mumbled to himself. Selfish? Did… had Kominato not told Eijun because he wanted to protect him? That wasn’t really selfish, albeit stupid and pointless.

A thought bloomed into his mind and he groaned. This was one hell of a situation.

He mulled it over for a moment but he knew he had to ask, for his own peace of mind. Even though it made everything even messier.

Chris, 17:01: You like him, don’t you?

Kominato Haruichi, 17:09: It’s more complicated than that.

He liked him and he had wanted to keep him to himself as long as possible, Chris was sure. He rubbed his temples. Well, that plan had backfired in a funny way.

Chris, 17:10: Then explain it to me.

There was no answer after that but when Kominato couldn’t meet his eyes in practice the next day Chris knew he was right.

When he woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find a text from Kominato – sent in the middle of the night.

Kominato Haruichi, 03:27: I know you loved him in high school.

And wasn’t that a punch to the gut.

He had never told anyone but Tanba about this and while he and Eijun had danced around each other a fair bit in high school it had been over before it had even really begun, ended by Chris’ words and graduation.

That Eijun had possibly told his best friend about him had occured to him, but he had spent so long trying to figure himself out that he had pushed it aside. So this felt like an attack and while not an undeserved one it was still a little unfair.

This time he was the one who didn’t answer.

***

When classes started Chris was immensely grateful for the distraction. Finally having something else to do that didn’t involve staring at Eijun for hours on end and wondering which of his many missteps had led to this felt almost like a respite.

He didn’t expect to run into Kominato on the second day of classes and stopped short in the middle of the corridor.

“Hi,” Kominato said, stepping closer. “Um, do you have a minute?”

Chris looked at his watch. “I have fifteen minutes until my next class starts, so technically I have a minute, yes.”

“Uh, that’s fair,” Kominato said with a startled smile. “You study sports medicine, right?”

“I do,” Chris nodded. “You do know a lot you don’t tell your best friend, don’t you?” He hadn’t meant to be so rude and accusatory but it had just overcome him, like Eijun’s anger had invaded his body in the last week, swept into him like a wave and taken hold like some kind of evil seed, tensing his muscles and clipping his speech.

Kominato scratched his neck. “Well, you still talk to my brother and I think all the others from your old year still like talk a lot, too, so…” He trailed off.

With a sigh Chris signaled him to follow him to the side of the corridor where they at least wouldn’t be in the way of anyone else. “What do you study?” he asked, not just to be polite but also because he still didn’t know and was curious by nature.

“Marine biology,” Kominato said and Chris immediately filed that away under ‘interesting’. He hadn’t expected that from Kominato.

“Ah, so you have biology intro classes here,” he said, more to himself than to Kominato but the shorter boy nodded anyway. Chris took another glance at his watch. “What did you want to talk about?”

Kominato touched his fringe self-consciously. “I just wanted to apologize again in person,” he said, bowing slightly. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to help you to fix this, if that’s alright. I know Eijun’s stubborn but he’s not the kind of person to hold a grudge like this and I can see he’s suffering.”

Chris raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t sure if ‘suffering’ was the right word but it was true that the situation couldn’t be easy for Eijun either. He understood that. He respected that. Still, if he had any sense in him he would just give in to Chris’ pleas and talk.

“So,” Kominato said after taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna try to convince him some more because we’re on the same floor in the dorms and if I annoy him enough he might just do it so I stop pestering him. Or umm… I guess I’ll at least make sure you can grab him and yell at him.” He gave a small lopsided smile and Chris sighed again.

“Alright,” he said, adding a “Thank you”.

Kominato nodded. “I’d rather see him happy with you than both of you making it harder for all of us.”

Hearing that from Kominato's mouth was mildly disconcerting but Chris couldn’t argue with it because he agreed.

“Well,” Kominato said, “we’d better get to class. See you!” He turned and started walking away when Chris thought of something.

“Hey, wait!” he said and Kominato stopped in his tracks.

“Hm?”

“What is E-... What is he studying?” He didn’t feel like he deserved to call him by his name anymore. Not right now.

Kominato grinned. “I bet you’ll get to ask him yourself eventually.” He gave a little wave, leaving Chris with confusion and anger in his gut.

When would he get to ask?

***

In the end he was glad it happened before they went away for their training camp.

They had fielding practice and Eijun had been doing fine, but deliberately kept his throws back home higher than they needed to be and it pissed Chris off. He only vaguely remembered how much he had resented Eijun in the beginning but this came close. Every time he had to stretch farther than necessary and saw the small smirk on Eijun’s face he clenched his hands.

At some point Eijun would have hit him in the face, hadn’t he worn the helmet, and Eijun's sarcastic “Oops, sorry” did nothing to hide the fact that it had been completely on purpose.

He got up and was just about ready to go over and punch this little shit in the face when Yuki declared that the exercise was over. A few seconds later he was rushing to Chris’ side.

“Want me to handle it?” Yuki asked but Chris shook his head.

“No, I’ll go talk to him right now and if he refuses again I want you to make him do nothing but run laps for a week,” he said with barely concealed anger. Yuki could take it.

Chris went to take off his gear while the others had to pick up stray balls before the coach had them run laps. Chris decided to take a run by himself later and waited at the side of the field until Eijun and Kominato passed him.

“Let’s go,” he said and it seemed like Eijun just wanted to run past him but Kominato gave him a shove that made Eijun lose his momentum and stumble towards Chris. Kominato saluted Chris with a grin and then ran after the group.

Chris grabbed his arm to both steady him so he didn’t fall and also make sure he didn’t just take off again. “I’m done with you avoiding me!”

“What the fuck?” Eijun yelled and Chris winced, painfully aware of the attention Eijun was attracting but not daring to shush him. “Let me go! I said I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you in the face!”

“I know you did that on purpose,” Chris growled back. “And all he other things you’ve been doing in training. It needs to stop. If you’re mad at me, fine. I can take it. But stop sabotaging yourself because of it. We can talk about it, dammit. You’re an adult now, behave like one!”

“Fine!” Eijun yelled, stopping short and pointing a long finger at Chris. “You’ve been ignoring me for two years and now you suddenly wanna talk. So let’s talk!”

Chris gaped at him. “Ignoring you? I wasn’t ignoring you,” he sighed, trying not to get riled up even more by Eijun’s accusations. “We just fell out of touch.” He looked back at the practice field, feeling like they were still too close to it but not wanting to ask Eijun to move further away.

“That’s not true! You know you’re lying!” It looked like Eijun was trying to stare him down and it didn’t help that they were almost the same height now, his glare only having become more intense over the years.

“I’m not lying, Eijun,” Chris pleaded. “We were both busy. Sometimes you just stop talking. It happens!” He didn’t mention that he still talked to most of his friends from high school. It had been possible – but the effort hadn’t entirely been on his part, either.

“I still talk to Furuya!” Eijun yelled. “And I don’t even like him that much.”

Chris groaned, pinching his nose. They would get nowhere like this. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I’m really sorry, okay? I’m sorry I stopped responding to your texts. I needed time.”

Maybe he hadn't wanted to ignore Eijun but he had definitely been avoiding him.

“And what about me?!” Eijun asked, balling his hands into fists at his sides in frustration. “What about what I needed?”

“I’m sorry,” Chris repeated, trying to get through to Eijun, through his thick head and his anger and his pent up emotions. He understood. He knew why Eijun was upset. Why he had every reason to be upset.

Eijun just stood there, breathing heavily and then he lowered his head. “Okay,” he mumbled, defeatedly.

Chris blinked. “Okay what?”

“I’ll leave you alone,” Eijun said.

That was what he got out of this? “Eijun,” Chris said, “look at me.”

Eijun looked up, frustration still written all over his face and Chris almost had to smile.

“I don’t want you to leave me alone. I want you to talk to me. Hell, annoy me like you did at Seidou for all I care. It’s better than what you’ve been doing for the past few weeks.” There was no way things could go back to normal – there had never been a normal, a status quo for them. And wanting to go back to like the things were in high school was a pipe dream, meant to never be anything more than smoke and ash. Still, Chris hoped they could be friends again, work together and form that battery they both had so desperately wanted years ago.

“I’m…,” Eijun blinked, obviously trying to think of something to say. “Yeah, okay.”

“Let’s start with you actually properly throwing for me, maybe?” Chris suggested.

Eijun’s face lit up a little and Chris chest tightened a little at the sight. He had missed Eijun’s smile. “Sure!”

He almost laughed, startled by the sudden enthusiasm Eijun had been lacking for so long. “Good,” he said. “And uh, you can also give me your new phone number after training if that’s alright.”

Eijun nodded hastily and was about to dig into his pockets for his phone when he realised that they were still in practice and his phone was in the locker room. Chris actually did laugh at his expression this time. “It’s okay, let’s finish up here first,” he said.

So they ended up running a few laps together to cool down. It was in silence but to Chris it was worlds better than the angry avoidance they had been stuck in before. And he could have sworn he saw Eijun steal little glances in his direction.

***

Chris had entertained the idea of asking Eijun to meet up for coffee but then decided that it was probably better to not have their first real civil conversation in public.

The problem with that though was that he didn’t know how to ask him to hang out without it seeming weird. He didn’t want Eijun to assume anything.

Thankfully he didn’t have to fret over what to text Eijun for long because he beat Chris to the punch and sent the first text.

Chris was doing some reading about Hydrotherapy for class in his free time between classes when his phone vibrated on the library table. He ignored it, thinking that it would be Yuki complaining about Jun – or possibly Jun directly complaining about his problems to Chris – but the buzzing persisted another two times so he stuck a bookmark into the small volume with a sigh. He picked up his phone to at least mute it as to not anger any of the other students in the library.

The display declared that he had three new texts from Eijun. He unlocked it with unsteady hands, wondering if Eijun had found more things he wanted to get off his chest.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:27: you better text me back this time!!

Sawamura Eijun, 12:27: no ignoring me anymore! i’ll annoy you to death!

Sawamura Eijun, 12:28: this class is so boring holy shit

Chris quietly laughed to himself while he scrolled through the messages, both in relief and amusement. This was typical.

Chris, 12:30: May I remind you that lately you were the one ignoring me?

He realised that he still didn’t know what Eijun studied but had barely started thinking about how he should word the question without sounding ignorant when the phone buzzed again – in his hand this time.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:31: DETAILS!

Sawamura Eijun, 12:31: also i wasn’t ignoring you, i was avoiding you

Sawamura Eijun, 12:32: big difference

Chris slightly shook his head in exasperation. This boy was like a hurricane.

Chris, 12:34: Does that make it better for you, because it doesn’t for me.

He bit his lip, wondering if that was too bold, bordering on rude. He had avoided Eijun in the past, too. Both of them had made mistakes. Still, he sent the message.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:38: i’m trying to LIFT THE MOOD god

Sawamura Eijun, 12:40: but honestly i’m sorry

Sawamura Eijun, 12:41: and this class is still really fucking boring!!!

Chris sighed and decided to take the opening. Sure, it was bait to talk to Eijun and also distract him from his class but Chris was sure he would just text someone else if Chris didn’t answer.

Chris, 12:44: What is it about?

This way he would at least get a hint at what kind of courses Eijun was taking. The answer was prompt and the repeated vibration of the phone against his hand caused Chris to finally set it to silent.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:45: poetry…….

Sawamura Eijun, 12:45: the SUPER DRY kind!!

Sawamura Eijun, 12:45: give me some tragic literature bullshit every day

Sawamura Eijun, 12:46: but this bullshit is so boring

Sawamura Eijun, 12:46: could write better verses myself tbh

Chris had to touch the hand holding his phone to his face to hide his smile from a passing student. Poetry? Was Eijun studying Japanese? When Chris had first met Eijun he had even avoided writing overly long papers and exam answers in Kanji.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:47: we’re literally reading one about a horse right now

With a snort Chris started packing away his things. He wouldn’t get any more reading done now so he might as well go get some food on the way to his next class.

Chris, 12:48: Writing your own definitely is an option there.

For a moment he felt tempted to tell Eijun that sneaking out of class and skipping was a possibility but he thought better of it. Eijun was the kind of person that would let this become a habit and then when exam season rolled haround he wouldn’t even know what the class had been about anymore. Better to let him suffer a little now than fail in the end.

He got up and walked towards the exit to check out the small book he had been reading, vowing to finish it this evening after practice so the discussion wouldn’t be as bland next week.

When he walked out of the library and looked at his phone again, squinting against the sunlight and low brightness of his screen, he had another two texts from Eijun.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:50: yeah would definitely be more interesting too

Sawamura Eijun, 12:56: wanna read some samples? :P

Sawamura Eijun, 12:58: this class sucks, i’d rather eat ducks

Sawamura Eijun, 12:58: i’m annoying chris, the teacher might be swiss?

Chris couldn’t stop himself from bursting into laughter at that, scaring a small freshman who was walking past him and sent her scurrying faster towards the library entrance than she probably had intended.

He set to typing an answer while on his way towards the science building.

Chris, 13:00: That sounds more like rap than actual poetry.

Sawamura Eijun, 13:01: how dare you insult my rhymes!!

Sawamura Eijun, 13:01: it’s basically the same, come on

***

The next days passed faster than Chris had anticipated, Eijun finally assimilating into training and actually working with him. The first few times that he could actually catch Eijun’s pitch it felt like a dream. Eijun had become a lot better since his first year of high school and Chris liked to say that he hadn’t stayed stagnant himself either but their styles still fit together. Like puzzle pieces that somehow had slipped into different sets.

It was thrilling. Finally getting to see Eijun’s progress up close was something Chris had been missing so far and it turned out that Chris could still bring out the best in him.

“This is game changing!” Nakai cheered, bounding up to them after a particularly successful practice two days before their training camp would start. “You two work so well together, holy shit! Can you read minds? Are you soulmates?”

Eijun laughed loudly at that. “No, we just were a battery in high school,” he said with a bright grin that tugged at the strings of Chris’ heart and made it play a melody he had never heard before.

“I thought you were injured for most of your second and third year,” Nakai asked, squinting at Chris. Chris hadn’t made a secret out of his old injury when he had come to University, mostly because it had been a frequent topic between him and the coach in the beginning.

“I was,” he replied, looking at Eijun for a second. “We were more of a… training battery in my third year until I graduated. We played one game together.”

Nakai whistled through his teeth. “Damn…”

“Chris gave me some hard workouts,” Eijun proclaimed. “But he also really brought out my potential.”

Chris grimaced at how much Eijun’s words sounded like an innuendo while Eijun himself didn’t seem to be aware at all. Nakai took one look at Chris’ face and burst out laughing. “Wow, yeah,” he snorted. “Too much information, dude.”

“What?” Eijun frowned at him. “Don't make it weird.”

Nakai broke into another fit of laughter while Chris just grabbed Eijun’s arm and dragged him along towards the field so they could start their last runs of the day, leaving Nakai behind. “Ignore him, he has a dirty mind.”

“Oh,” made Eijun, maybe in a little too small of a voice for Chris’ taste.

“Oh?” he echoed. Had Eijun not realised Nakai’s innuendo after all?

“Does he think we were… a thing in high school?” Eijun asked hesitantly, causing Chris to let go of his arm with a sigh.

“I guess he does, yeah. Even if he thinks it’s funny.” This was rapidly becoming messy. “Did you not understand the sexual implications of what he said?”

“No, I did, I just didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered,” Eijun mumbled, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Well… we almost were – a thing, I mean, so… I guess he can think whatever he wants.”

Chris didn’t know if he was going to be able to deal with this conversation.

Truth be told, the ‘almost’ stung a little but it was accurate. The will-they-won’t-they-dance they had done when they both still had been at Seidou had ended in a way that had never really given them closure.

Chris was about to apologize again when Eijun shrugged and broke into a jog. “Well, whatever.” Chris blinked stupidly and was left in the dust for a moment before he could will his legs to move and run after Eijun so he could settle into a comfortable pace next to him.

***

The first day of training camp saw Chris almost being late for the bus call. He had almost forgotten his toothbrush and had to run back to grab it, making him the last person to arrive at their meeting point. Worse was that everyone else was already on the bus, which meant that when he climbed on, Eijun saw him and waved enthusiastically. “Chris! Sit here!”

Chris ignored the snickering of the rest of the bus and walked towards Eijun. He had nothing against sitting next to him – although there would have been a free seat next to Yuki, too, and Kominato didn’t look too happy about sitting next to Todoroki – but he would have liked to have sorted it out in a less obnoxious manner.

“Hello Eijun,” Chris said, putting his backpack into the overhead compartment and then sitting down next to him.

“You were late,” Eijun said with a smirk.

“No, I was on time,” Chris said, rolling his eyes fondly.

“Almost late then,” Eijun declared, leaning back into his seat with a satisfied expression.

“Whatever you want to call it…” Chris still remembered Eijun being late for his first day at Seidou, trying to sneak into the line and in the end being betrayed by Miyuki. Back then Chris had thought he would be good for nothing, another drop-out half a year down the line but Eijun had proved him wrong, oh so wrong.

Four rows further to the front Yuki turned around and threw Chris a look that was somewhere between a repressed smile and pity. Chris just raised his eyebrows at him.

When Chris turned back to Eijun he noted with surprise that Eijun had taken out a book.

Eijun caught his confused gaze and shrugged. “What? It’s reading for class.”

And just like that Chris was reminded again that he still didn’t know what major exactly Eijun was pursuing except him being in that horrid poetry class that he kept texting Chris about throughout every week.

Chris gave in. He would just have to bite the bullet then.

“Umm… this is a little late but I somehow never asked and it wasn’t on the list in the beginning of the year. What exactly are you studying?” Chris asked, struggling a little with his words. He felt stupid, only asking after almost a month, fearing Eijun to be hurt by his ignorance.

Eijun stared at him. “Uh. Literature? If it wasn’t obvious from the poetry class and the book I’m reading for a Women and Feminism in Japanese Literature class.”

“Oh,” Chris made. “I thought it was Japanese for a while but you never mentioned linguistics classes. Yeah umm… okay.”

“Is it really that surprising?” Eijun asked, playing with the already frayed corner of the paperback. “I’m not the best academically but I also have other interests than baseball.” He frowned a little.

“It’s perfectly fine!” Chris said hastily, maybe a little too loudly. “I just thought you were going to do… maybe something more practical?” He realised too late that was probably not a good thing to say.

Eijun’s frown deepened. “My dad wanted me to go into Engineering, actually. But it’s just… it’s so mathy. This is much more interesting.” He held up the book for emphasis – ‘The Lake’, Chris read, noticing the title for the first time. “But you with your practical Sports studies probably don’t understand that.”

“I’m sorry,” Chris apologized meekly. This was exactly what he had been afraid of but now he couldn’t back out of the conversation anymore without offending Eijun further. “I didn’t think before I opened my mouth.”

That earned him a small grin from Eijun. “Isn’t that usually my job?”

Chris shrugged. “I have my bad moments.”

“Don’t I know it,” Eijun mumbled and Chris sighed. Time to divert to another topic after all.

“What’s the book about?” he asked, nodding at the paperback still clasped in Eijun’s hands.

Eijun looked from Chris to the book. “It’s about this girl… woman who moves to another city after her mom dies and then she meets this guy who is kind of odd and has like a lot of his own baggabe from when he was younger…” He shrugged, obviously not having been prepared for the question.

“Sounds dark,” Chris said.

“I’d describe it more as heavy than dark,” Eijun offered. “Like, it's kind of calm, but you know it has impact. Look at this…” He opened a page and showed Chris a quote he described as powerful. “That left me slack jawed for a while. And I was reading in class.”

The way the protagonist described her love – and not even the beauty of the world – being good enough for her boyfriend to find his peace felt heavy on Chris chest. From only one quote the story had started to weigh on his mind.

“In poetry class?” Chris teased, just to get rid of the feeling, and like that the rest of the bus ride passed in easy conversation and Eijun pointing out several passages of what he had read so far that left Chris with a clear impression of both the book and Eijun’s enthusiasm.

By the time they arrived Eijun had offered to lend the book to Chris once they were done with it in class and Chris had accepted happily.

The coach and Yuki had decided the rooming arrangements beforehand since due to the size of the team had to be split up and sleep in four different rooms. What didn’t surprise Chris – but definitely some of the others – was that “for integration reasons” the rooms would be mixed between seniors and underclassmen. He had been used to these kinds of arrangements ever since joining high school and still remembered how good it had been for the growth of the students not just as athletes but also as people.

He did however not end up in a room with Eijun but rather with Kominato and Nakai, which could only mean trouble. Still, he expected they wouldn’t spend much time in their rooms except to sleep, since the training regimen Yuki and showed him seemed extensive. A lot of core and arm training, batting practice – and the pitcher menu had made him somehow proud and lightheaded at the same time.

The first thing they did after inspecting their rooms and unloading their bags was have a ten kilometer run through the forest before lunch. Some groaning ensued.

Meanwhile Eijun’s loud voice was full of excitement. “This is right up my alley!” he declared. “When I’m not pitching, I’m running! With up to three tires!”

Yuki, crouching next to Chris to tie his shoes, looked up at Chris with raised eyebrows. “He hasn’t changed a bit, has he?” he asked.

“He has a fair bit,” Chris said diplomatically. “But some things never change.”

In truth, Eijun had learned how to pace himself better and kept steady with Chris through the entire run, not talking much but rather focusing on his steps and then actually pulling ahead of Chris at the end.

When Chris got to the goal, Eijun was lying sprawled out on the lawn, breathing heavily.

“What happened to being an experienced runner?” Chris asked, standing over him with a slight grin.

A few meters away he saw Kominato coming back from the run and walking towards them with his hands pressed to his sides.

Eijun huffed. “I was second right after Yuki. Give me some credit here. Have you seen marathon runners after they finish? You gotta give it your all!” He shielded his eyes from the sun with his arm, peering up at Chris. “Honestly, have you never exhausted yourself so much during a game that you fainted?”

“No,” Chris said with a frown. That was thankfully one of the things he hadn’t ticked off the list yet. “Have you?”

“Yeah,” Eijun admitted. “Probably wasn’t very pretty.”

“It wasn’t,” Kominato commented, flopping down next to Eijun, redfaced and gladly accepting the water bottle Chris offered him. “Miyuki had to carry him to the infirmary.”

“I tried to teach you to be responsible,” Chris sighed, “but I obviously failed.” He tried covering up his concern with exasperated humour. Eijun had always been prone to overworking himself, even though Chris had done his damn best to keep him from doing so. Realising what Eijun might have done out of sheer impulsiveness overpowering his common sense when they hadn’t been talking made him uneasy.

Eijun laughed. “If it’s any consolation, you were a great role model. Even though you said I should never become like you.”

“Well, I meant it,” Chris said. He had meant it in more than one way. “Good thing you’re here now so I can keep you from doing stuff like that.”

“Oi! I won’t be controlled!” Eijun pointed an accusing finger at Chris but he was still laughing. “Good to know though, because I can be really stupid.”

Chris looked at Kominato and saw the same smile that was tugging at his own lips mirrored on the pink haired boys’ face. This was what he wanted. Just lighthearted conversation, practice, a lot of wins in the future and the battery he had been dreaming of since a young, loud-mouthed first year had declared for everyone to hear that he wanted Chris to catch his pitches.

***

Chris was used to working with fitness equipment that differed from the usual baseball attire but Eijun seemed to not have seen anything that went further than weights in a while.

“You need to train your entire body,” Chris explained to him as he saw Eijun inspecting a back extension machine with disdain.

“Yeah, I know that, but this one looks more like a torture device. The name sounds like a torture device.”

Chris laughed. “Well, it can be one if you use it wrongly,” he said.

He spent the next hour helping Eijun through the entire circle of equipment that they had been provided with.

“I don’t know how half of this is supposed to help,” Eijun huffed while he was lifting weights and Chris was spotting him. “But I like this one.”

“Don’t bulk up too much or you’ll loose the nimbleness of your limbs,” Chris remarked drily.

“Yeah, you love how flexible I am,” Eijun mumbled and Chris just threw him a helpless look which made Eijun laugh and almost drop the bar.

“Careful,” Chris said, reaching out to steady the weights.

“Sorry,” Eijun grinned. “You should have seen your face.”

Chris just shook his head and wondered if Eijun was flirting with him or just being his usual self where he had absolutely no filter. It was frustrating and possibly also a little anxiety inducing.

“Next time I’m just going to let the bar crush your chest,” Chris warned but Eijun just snorted.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, rolling his eyes. “If I become a ghost I’m gonna haunt the fuck out of you.”

Chris contemplated it for a moment but if he would have to choose between an annoying ghost and a living, breathing, touchable – bust possibly more annoying – Eijun, he’d always go for the latter. “I’d rather have you alive,” he said.

“I’m touched.”

Pitching practice afterwards had Eijun complaining about his beforehand largely unused muscle groups aching and Chris trying to suppress his amusement while he directed Eijun’s pitching form.

“Your point of release is good,” he said, throwing the back he had just caught back to Eijun. “And it’s even faster than it was before.”

“I love it when you shower me with compliments,” Eijun grinned.

“I’m not ‘showering you with compliments’ I’m telling the truth. I bet Furuya’s velocity is still better than yours,” Chris said, teasing a little in the same breath.

“Rude, Chris-senpai, rude,” Eijun shot back.

“I’ll stop comparing you to Furuya when you start focusing,” Chris said and Eijun stuck out his tongue at him.

During bath time Chris listened to Eijun explaining to a confused Todoroki that he shouldn’t let the captain rope him into playing shogi. Chris doubted the batter had the attention span for shogi anyway but seeing how well Eijun still remembered his former – and now again – team mate’s quirks was nice.

Chris sunk deeper into the water, blending out the younger players’ conversation. He only noticed now how tired he was, having spent a whole day juggling his own fitness regime and Eijun’s.

On top of that he was confused about Eijun’s behavior. Was he just being his usual self? Or was he trying to flirt with Chris? He wasn’t sure and the constant guessing game and tightrope act were eating at him. Trying to rebuild bridges that they had let decay for two years was hard and Chris couldn’t tell what was genuinely Eijun anymore and what was an act. It was disheartening.

He let out his breath, watching the air breaking the water as bubbles and straightened up a little again because he could feel Eijun looking at him.

Chris had never been entirely sure of himself by any means but he had grown since high school and having to question everything again because of Eijun made his hands shake, sometimes.

“Are you okay?” Eijun asked and Chris had to suppress a groan. If he really wanted to think, he should probably get out of the bath.

“I am,” he said. “Just thinking about… tomorrow.” He had almost wanted to say ‘about you’ but he was painfully aware of Todoroki with them in the room and all the unsaid words they still had between them. He didn’t want to do this now.

“Do it on a chair and desk where you can’t drown,” Eijun said with a smile, splashing him with water and Chris had the irrational urge to splash back.

“I think I’m going to do that,” he said, glad for the out, and got up. “Good night, don’t stay up too long.”

“You sound like my mom,” Eijun said, wrinkling his nose and Todoroki agreed with him loudly.

Chris chuckled and went to dry himself off. Maybe he would be able to ignore the weirdness until they got into the swing of things again. Maybe it would become easier.

***

After dinner the next day Eijun suddenly vanished which Chris only noticed because the day before Eijun had asked Chris to play catch with him for a while which he had almost been expecting him to do today too.

Instead Eijun missed the short general strategy meeting they held and Chris eyed the empty chair with increasing worry. What had he gotten himself into now?

Yuki approached him after the meeting but Chris beat him to the punch before he could say anything. “I’ll sort it out and fill him in on what we talked about,” Chris said, anxious to go and intercept Kominato to ask him where Eijun was.

“You’ll have to find him first,” Yuki said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No one has seen him since dinner.”

Chris stared at him. “Not even Kominato? Todoroki? Anyone?”

Yuki shook his head. Chris grit his teeth, tension transfering to every other muscle in his body. “Shit,” he mumbled. This wasn’t like Eijun at all. “I’ll go look for him,” he said. “He probably forgot the time while reading.”

“Or he’s out somewhere running himself to death,” Yuki offered with a small smile.

Chris sighed. “Or that, yes. Either way, I’ll find him.” He turned to leave the room – everyone else had already filed out, the other first years probably anxious to find their prospective pitcher – but Yuki’s voice called him back.

“Chris!” Chris turned back, an eyebrow raised. “Sort your shit out.”

Another one of these verbal punches to the gut. How often would other people have to remind him of what he had let go? “I’ll try.”

He would have to. And he would have to be painfully, daringly honest. He had tried to hold back so far, not wanting to break what they had built again, but apparently it had not been enough. Why else would Eijun, who at his core was almost as responsible as Chris prided himself to be, just wander off without telling anyone?

He left the room, already taking his phone out of his pocket to thumb a message to Eijun. his bet was on Eijun having his phone with him, probably just ignoring everyone.

Chris, 20:48: Where are you?

Praying that Eijun would answer he kept his phone tightly in his hands, setting out to search outside because Eijun had never been the person to pensively sit inside to think.

It took his phone exactly seven minutes until it buzzed with an answer, Chris shooting nervous glances at the display every few seconds while he walked towards the baseball field.

Sawamura Eijun, 20:55: was the coach mad? i’m sorry

Sawamura Eijun, 20:55: i’m on the outfield.. can we talk?

Chris sighed with relief, mostly because Eijun seemed to be alright and willing to talk about whatever was bothering him. Still his heart lept into his throat at the thought of sitting alone together on the grass to talk, just the two of them.

He pushed through the opening in the fence anyway after sending a quick text to Kominato that he had found Eijun, walking past the diamond towards the outfield where he could make out Eijun, leaning back on his hands and seemingly staring into nothing until he noticed Chris approaching.

Chris was still too far away to make out the expression on Eijun’s face and there was no bigger acknowledgement, no wave or call. But Chris kept walking until he was right next to Eijun, sitting down in the cold grass beside him.

“Hey,” he said, tentatively.

“You came,” Eijun mumbled, strangely out of character and Chris pulled the hem of his hoodie over his hands, not sure how to proceed.

“What’s going on?” he asked after a moment of quiet.

“I was just… thinking,” Eijun said, almost echoing Chris’ words from the day before.

Chris pushed his hair out of his face, soft after he had not bothered to style it at all for the past two days. “About what?” he prompted, not wanting to pressure Eijun but still anxious as to what this conversation would entail.

Eijun shrugged. “I don’t know, high school. I got a little caught up in it and then I didn’t think I could just go to that meeting, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said. “I get it.”

“Do you though?” Eijun asked, looking at him properly for the first time. “Do you even know what my second and third year were like?” Chris flinched at the words because of course he didn’t, of course. He hadn’t been there, hadn’t been in contact and he was painfully aware of how much he had missed.

“No, I don’t. And I’m sorry, you know that. I was… I couldn’t. I know it’s unfair but it was too hard for me to follow it all too closely. Not after what we almost had. We were a great battery. We would have been a great partnership.”

“Yeah, were. Emphasis on the past tense.”

Chris bit his lip and lowered his head, now looking at the ground where he was pinching some blades of grass between his short nails. “I thought we were over this, Eijun,” he said, to resigned to even sigh. They had had this particular conversation, not even veiled in metaphors, even though Chris thought sometimes he could sometimes see some jabs in Eijun’s mock poetry when they texted. But if it was still preying on Eijun’s mind then they had to make it stop, get the topic out of the way so it didn’t eat him alive. “We were and I hope we can be like that again.”

Eijun let himself fall back silently, laying down with his arms bent overhead so his head could rest on his hands on the ground, and looked into the clear, dark spring sky for a while. Chris kept his lips pressed together, the words brimming on his tongue but he stayed silent. This had stopped being about him a long time ago. It never should have been in the first place.

“I fucked Miyuki in second year. I just thought that was right you know? It felt right. Except it didn’t,” Eijun mumbled, finally, after what felt like hours of silence.

Chris couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped him. Miyuki? He gaped at Eijun, all possible replies purged from his mind.

“I thought you moved on, alright? You rejected me! I thought it was what you wanted,” Eijun said, now defensive, as he had obviously seen the expression on Chris’ face.

“You slept with Miyuki because you thought it was what I wanted?” Chris asked, incredulous. Because this was what he got from that sentence and he didn’t think he had ever heard a more hurtful thing in his life.

“Yes!”, Eijun said, a little too loud, a little to forcefully, emitting the word into the sky. Then after a second, “No… I don’t know. I guess I just thought, if you didn’t want me, someone else would. And Miyuki did. I was into him, probably, but it never really...” He made a vague hand motion, purposefully still staring towards the stars, avoiding Chris’ eyes. “It was just… fucking.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you,” Chris said, defeated. Was this what Eijun had thought, all this time? “God, I wanted you so much. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t be with you. It was too much, okay? I was still figuring myself out, Eijun. I didn’t want to pull you into that mess, it wouldn’t have been fair on you.”

“And then you went to America and had your fun there, yeah?” There wasn’t really any malice in Eijun’s words, only resignation, but they still stung.

Chris shook his head. “Are you even listening to me? I don’t… There was never-” He sighed and took a moment to get his bearings, to remember what to actually say in this situation. “I went to the States to improve my English,” he finally said. “And to see if any of the Universities there would have me. And maybe also to get over you a little, yes, but not through a rebound or anything. I didn’t… have anyone. I couldn’t.”

Every time he had even looked at someone and found them attractive he had felt so guilty that he had to avert his eyes, his face burning, wondering what was wrong with him that he had given up the best thing – the best person – in his life because of it. It had taken a while until he had figured out what he wanted, who he was, and by then he had feared it was too late to go back. It turned out he had been right.

“Sorry,” Eijun said after a moment, finally, finally looking at Chris with something else than anger or distaste in his expression. “That was uncalled for.” He dragged his hand over his face, rubbing his forehead, before he tucked it under his head again. “I guess I still had a little resentment there… I’m trying to let it go, I’m not someone to hold grudges, but it’s hard.”

Chris couldn’t look away, trapped in Eijun’s eyes. “I understand. It’s okay”

They lapsed into silence again but it wasn’t uncomfortable, there were no chirping crickets – neither metaphorically nor in the grass nearby – and Chris, for once, let himself really look at Eijun. He let his eyes roam over Eijun’s face that he had finally grown into, his lean arms and hands that were currently hiding behind his hair again.

Chris had never had trouble admitting that Eijun was beautiful. But finding him attractive, that had been unsettling in the beginning.

“Stop staring at me,” Eijun said, amusement lacing his voice.

Chris could feel his face heat up and ducked his head. “Sorry.”

“Lie down and look at the stars with me instead,” Eijun said after a second, one hand coming out from its position pillowing his head to tug at Chris sleeve. “It’s creepy if you just loom over me like that.”

For a moment Chris could only blink down at Eijun, dumbfounded. Watch the stars? But then he let himself be pulled down obediently, lying close enough for their hands to touch and Eijun’s hair to ghost over Chris’ ear.

“Miyuki, huh?” Chris asked, too curious to let the topic escape them. He didn’t really want to imagine it but he couldn’t help it, memories of Eijun’s and Miyuki’s parallel personalities enhancing the pictures.

“I don’t know,” Eijun said, “I mean, he’s hot.” Chris help back a snort at the statement. He wouldn’t assign Miyuki the descriptor ‘hot’ but who was he to police Eijun’s attractions. “And we riled each other up in a way that was so different from you and me. But in the end I guess it was too much clashing. Or too many similarities?”

“Did you like him?” Chris asked, feeling his heartbeat in his throat but also having the burning need to know in his fingertips.

“I don’t know,” Eijun admitted. “I never loved him, that’s for sure. We were… a lot. Something.” He raised the same hand that had just been pulling at Chris’ arm to gesture at the stars in a vague, dismissive motion. “I guess it was just sex. And a lot of sports.” He laughed, only amusement in his voice and Chris was relieved that even if it might have been painful then, it wasn’t anymore.

“I always feel so strongly about everyone,” Eijun continued, his shoulder brushing against Chris’ as he attempted to shrug while lying down. “It’s like… I can’t immediately tell which kind of feeling it is. I know when I’m attracted to someone but which kind of attraction is it? Do I want to date them? Do I just love the way they make their bat connect with the ball? It’s a mystery.”

Now Chris had to laugh. He could definitely see how this would be Eijun’s particular issue, even when he didn’t have the exact same problem himself. In fact he and Eijun seemed to be almost polar opposites. Like in so many things.

“I never felt about someone like that before you came along. I thought I was weird, I thought I was broken. I didn’t know what was happening,” Chris explained, encouraged by Eijun’s honesty. Maybe he would finally get out what he had been skirting around, avoiding, for so long.

Eijun turned his head to look at Chris in confusion. “I thought you and Tanba….?” he trailed off, eyebrows drawn closely together in an uncharacteristic expression.

“No, we were never together.” Chris shook his head. “I love him, I do, but it’s not romantic and we’re both okay with that.”

“Oh,” Eijun made, still looking at him, and it maybe broke Chris’ heart a little. Had Eijun thought he hadn’t been important enough to Chris this entire time? Because that was so far from the truth Chris could hardly even think about it.

“I think he has a crush on someone,” Chris said with a slight chuckle, knowing that revealing this information was okay with Tanba, even though it might embarrass him if he ever met Eijun. “But he refuses to do something about it.”

“That’s stupid,” Eijun said, cold-blooded. “I thought he got over his shyness?”

“Mostly,” Chris said, “but love and baseball require two very different kinds of courage.” He hoped Eijun would understand. That this was also true for him.

Eijun finally turned his head away, choosing to look at the sky again after Chris revelation. “You would think so, yes,” he murmured, cryptically and Chris bit his lip.

“Are we okay now?” he asked after a moment, wondering, hoping, and when Eijun nodded with a smile, eyes still trained on the stars, he was able to unclench his fists at his sides.

It was quiet again, save for the rustling when Eijun reached up further, his outstretched finger tracing a pattern in the sky. He didn’t say that it looked like anything, how he was so prone to doing with clouds, or asked if the constellation they could see was Aquarius or Cancer. He just let it be and after a while Chris could feel the same relaxed mood creep into his back.

He stopped watching Eijun and followed his eyes into the dark space above them. Chris knew that the stars didn’t actually twinkle, that it was the atmosphere, the light being broken after having travelled for so long, but it still felt like they wanted to talk to him.

Eventually he felt Eijun shiver beside him and couldn’t stop the slight click of his tongue. “We should go inside,” he said.

Eijun sighed. “But it’s so nice and quiet out here,” he said, instinctively rubbing his cold arms anyway.

“If you catch a cold you can’t play tomorrow,” Chris said, unrelenting. “And since when are you in favour of ‘quiet’?”

Eijun huffed and kicked at Chris’ shin. “I grew up, you big grump.”

“I was going to offer you my hoodie until we get back inside like good friends do but if you’re just going to insult me you’ll just have to freeze to death,” Chris said with a slight grin and sat up.

“Oh, so we’re friends again now, yeah?” Eijun joked and jumped to his feet in one fluid motion.

“I’d rather have you as a friend without being lovers than not talk to you at all,” Chris said, too earnestly, and Eijun gave him a soft, happy look before pulling him up with both hands. Chris did not give Eijun his hoodie but slung an am around his shoulder, pulling him close to Chris’ side because Chris knew he was warm enough for the both of them.

It didn’t occur to him until after they were already halfway back to the brightly lit quarters and all his earlier courage had escaped him that he hadn’t asked Eijun about Kominato.

They formed a battery for the training camp concluding practice game the next day and won against the other team 5 runs to 1.

***

Sawamura Eijun, 17:53: wanna go to the cinema? i’m bored

It was like Eijun was trying to make up for the time they lost while they weren’t talking to each other. Chris leant back in his chair and tilted his head back until he was staring at the ceiling, the last rays of sunshine coming in from the window visible at the edges of his vision.

He technically still had to do his part of a group presentation that needed to be finished for their scheduled meeting the day after tomorrow but Chris figured taking a few hours off couldn’t hurt.

Chris, 17:57: What movie were you thinking about?

Knowing Eijun it would either be an action movie or some kind of horrible romantic flick but right now Chris didn’t really care, as long as it distracted him from tendons and muscle fibers for a while.

Sawamura Eijun, 18:02: oh you actually wanna go?? nice!

Sawamura Eijun, 18:02: i don’t even know what’s running tbh

Sawamura Eijun, 18:02: we could just go to the theater and see what’s on next?

Chris wrinkled his nose, all of his practised habits and instincts going against doing things spontaneously without any planning, but before he could respond his phone vibrated again in his hand.

Sawamura Eijun, 18:04: don’t just stare at ur phone like you wanna murder someone

Sawamura Eijun, 18:04: live a little

Chris, 18:05: Did you have cameras installed in my flat? HOW? You don’t even know where I live.

Sawamura Eijun, 18:06: no but i know you

Sawamura Eijun, 18:06: or maybe that’s what i want u to think

Chris rolled his eyes but also took a deep breath, knowing that Eijun was right. He needed to get out more and if there were no good movies they could still do something else.

Chris, 18:09: Fine. Do you want to meet in front of the cinema in an hour?

He could feel his heart beating in his fingertips after pressing the send button and had to admit that he was nervous.

There was no reason for nervousness, really, especially after Eijun responded positively but that only seemed to make it worse.

The only movies starting in the next hour were a weird horror flick, which Chris didn’t have the patience to see right now – maybe later, when it came out on DVD – and Eijun admitted to not stomaching horror movies that well, and a romance movie. Chris thought it looked a bit generic, but Eijun seemed excited enough so he decided it was worth to spend the money, even if it turned out to be mediocre.

In the first half of the movie Chris found himself paying less attention to the scenes on the big screen than Eijun’s reactions. He seemed so immersed in the plot, his eyes glowing with anticipation and emotion that Chris had to tear himself away after watching Eijun for minutes at a time, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He almost reached out to touch the smile on Eijun’s face at the protagonist’s stuttered confession but stopped himself before his hand left the armrest at all. This probably wasn’t meant to be a date, even if Chris almost wanted it to be one.

The thought made him dig his fingers into the armrest facing away from Eijun to his left and drive his teeth into his lower lip. He shouldn’t. Their regained trust was so fragile and he didn’t want to betray and break it like this.

Eijun seemed to have made his peace and Chris should, too.

Chris had never described himself as a romantic, purely because he had used to believe he lacked the ability to feel attraction at all. But then three years ago he had come to realise very quickly and very forcefully that he would love to see the stars trapped in Eijun’s eyes forever. And maybe that was what it felt like.

Maybe he wouldn’t be able to make his peace. Maybe this would be the first and last time he had ever felt this way and he would never have the opportunity to get over it.

Still he tried to focus on the movie more, even though he probably had missed half the dialogue and thus context at this point.

Oddly enough he found himself getting pulled into the story, the way the shy male lead admired his crush from afar in embarrassment after having blurted out his feelings and fled. It wasn’t something he related to, not really, but he still felt the buzz of sympathy rising in his chest.

When the story was resolved by the girl confronting the boy about his feelings and asking him out Chris was startled by hearing a small sniffle from his right. He turned to see Eijun wiping away tears from his cheeks and Chris couldn’t help his eyebrows from rising and his hand digging into his pockets looking for a tissue.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a whisper because the credits hadn’t started rolling yet and there were quite a few people in the cinema.

He had known, of course, that Eijun was a very emotional person and that this intensity had to have deep roots in all aspects of his life so this moment shouldn’t be as surprising. When Eijun took the tissue from Chris’ hand Chris realised that this was one of the first times – maybe the first time – they had hung out in an environment that wasn’t related to baseball or academia.

“I’m fine,” Eijun mumbled, cleaning his nose noisily and dabbing at his cheeks. “But did you see the look on his face?”

Chris’ hand was still slightly raised from where Eijun had taken the tissue from him, too floored by the realisation that he had never really seen this side of Eijun before to take control of his own body.

“I did,” he finally said when the credits started to roll, not even sure what he was answering to anymore.

“He’s so in love with her,” Eijun sighed and Chris tapped his foot uneasily. He felt awkward, a little like he didn’t belong in this conversation even though he was the only other person taking part in it. But he would rather suffer through that feeling than admit to Eijun that he hadn’t really felt connected to the protagonists, because Eijun clearly had and Chris didn’t want to take the wind out of his sails.

“I liked her initiative,” he offered, hoping that it was enough.

Eijun sat up a little, just as the lights in the cinema started to come on. “She clearly knew him well enough to see that he needed some reassurance so she did what he couldn’t do! I loved it!” He gestured wildly, the tissue balled up in his left hand. Chris nodded weakly.

“I think she was very good at reading people in general but she just knew him best,” he said.

“Yes!” Eijun exclaimed.

They walked out of the cinema still talking about the movie and Chris was somehow drawn in by Eijun’s enthusiasm, pulled in by his feelings like they were a magnetic force.

“It wasn’t the most realistic at times sure,” Eijun was saying, “but it was really sweet and most of their interactions seemed authentic.”

“Definitely,” Chris agreed. “They didn’t have any weird hiccups with the characterization either, even when he suddenly confessed.”

Eijun smiled at him brightly. “Exactly! And oh man, watching him agonize over it after making a run for it was heartbreaking!” His arm stopped mid-gesturing motion to press his hand to his stomach. “Oh, I think I’m hungry.”

“You had an entire bucket of popcorn,” Chris said drily.

“I’m an athlete, I’m almost always hungry!” Eijun said with vigour and Chris just looked at him for a moment, trying to keep his pokerface, but ultimately letting the corners of his mouth quirk up anyway.

“I know,” he said.

“Do you wanna grab dinner together?” Eijun asked and Chris could swear he felt his heart skip a literal beat, despite the physical impossibility. He wanted to agree so badly, wanted to bask in Eijun’s company and attention, almost as if soaking up rays of sunshine the younger boy emitted. He just wanted to be with Eijun.

But when he looked at his watch reality caught up with him. And suddenly he had to choose between responsibility and Eijun and it felt so much worse than it ever had before.

“I’m sorry,” he said, biting his lip, “I would love to but I have a big group presentation coming up and a long day tomorrow.”

He could see Eijun’s face fall for a second before Eijun schooled it into a careful mask. “Oh, no, I totally understand.” The disappointment was still palpable. Eijun had never been a good liar and that much hadn’t changed.

“I’m really sorry,” Chris repeated. God, he was. He would’ve loved to just sit in a restaurant with Eijun and eat and talk but he couldn’t. “Let’s go out for dinner some other time, yeah? I mean it!”

Eijun nodded. “You better not be lying.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die,” Chris said with a small smile.

So they parted ways and Chris headed back to his flat with a heavy heart, not knowing if he should be elated or disappointed or scared because he wasn’t sure what he was getting himself into.

***

Halfway through practice the next Wednesday, two and a half weeks separating them from their debut game as a battery, Eijun said something of which Chris could only make out ‘hurts’ and he immediately got up, taking off his mask. “What?” he asked, watching Eijun inspect his own hand with increasing anxiety.

“My finger hurts,” Eijun repeated.

It was just his pinky, not his pointer finger, but Chris knew how important the stability of the entire hand was for a pitcher.

“You’re taking a break,” he said.

“What? No! It’s probably nothing, I can still throw!” Eijun protested.

“Eijun,” Chris said, sternly, grabbing his right wrist, “you’re done for today.”

And maybe Eijun saw the worry in his eyes or heard the fear in his voice or maybe his finger hurt just enough but he stopped protesting and he let himself be marched towards the coach.

“He’s hurt his finger,” Chris reported and Eijun opened his mouth as if to object but Chris just shook his head. “Might just be a cramp but I don’t want to risk anything.”

The coach nodded. “It would also be a sprain or something more serious. Ice it, tape it up and if it still hurts in a few hours or swell I want you to consult with a doctor.”

“Yes, sir,” Eijun agreed with a sour face.

Chris sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go.” As they were walking away from the bench, he cast a glance at Eijun who was biting his lip, looking at the ground with a closed off expression.

“You know I’m not doing this to keep you from doing what you love, right?” he asked, slightly nudging Eijun’s side. “I want you to be able to keep throwing and I want to be the one to catch your pitches. But you need to be healthy to do it.”

“I know,” Eijun mumbled.

When hey reached the locker rooms Chris went for his own locker instead of the first aid kit, taking out some ice spray and sports tape. Eijun eyed him with a slightly tilted head from where he had slumped down on the bench.

“I see you come prepared,” he joked weakly and Chris rolled his eyes, not bothering to grace him with a reply but rather stepping in to examine his hand.

“We need to be careful with your hand,” Chris said while applying the spray generously.

“I know,” Eijun repeated and Chris put the spray aside. “I don’t want to fuck it up either, trust me. My hands are the only thing I got going for me.”

Chris shook his head, his fingers searching for the edge of the tape. “That’s not true,” he said, “you know more about literature than me by now.”

“Probably true,” Eijun said and while Chris couldn’t see his face since he was occupied with the tape and Eijun’s hand, he was sure Eijun was smiling at least a little. “But I wanna go pro someday. Can’t do that if I can’t pitch.”

Chris looked up from where he was currently taping across the joint of the finger and frowned a little. “This isn’t bad,” he said. “We caught it early.”

Eijun nodded. “Yeah, I thought it was weird but... I probably could have kept playing.” He shrugged a little.

Chris shook his head. “If you ever feel like here’s anything wrong you shouldn’t try to play or practice through it. Even if it’s probably nothing, okay? I’d rather you miss out on an hour of practice than overwork yourself,” Chris said, finishing up the taping of Eijun’s pinky and then placing two more strips to connect it to the ring finger for security. Just to be sure. “I just like to be safe.”

Eijun snorted. “Yeah, I can see that.” He left the rest uncommented, unsaid but Chris knew he had heard him.

Chris hesitantly released Eijun’s hand from his careful grasp, rocking back on his heels to look up at Eijun’s face. “You’ll be okay,” he said, convinced of it.

Eijun smiled, gratitude showing on his face. “Thanks.”

With an answering smile Chris got up to gather the supplies and put them back into his locker. “Alright, are you hungry?” he asked.

“Starving,” Eijun replied. “As always.”

“Good, because I still have that dinner I need to make up to you and you’re coming to my place with me,” Chris said, kicking off his shoes.

Eijun gaped at him in surprise. “Why do you get to decide that?”

“Because I don’t trust you to actually alert me if the pain gets worse if I don’t monitor you,” Chris said honestly. Eijun would just try to sit it out for a while, days in the worst case.

“That’s low,” Eijun grumbled. “I just told you I’m taking this seriously!”

“No, you told me you’re scared. Do you want dinner or not?” Chris asked, knowing that food was always a good motivator.

Eijun huffed. “I didn’t- Fine…” he said. “But it better be good food!”

“Deal,” Chris grinned. “Get changed.”

Usually Eijun was faster at getting changed – mostly because he rushed through everything – but today he struggled with every item of clothing. Chris hadn’t thought that partially not being able to move your strong hand would do that to a person but well, he was here to learn.

Finally he took pity on the boy and helped him into his shirt and hoodie. Mostly so he wouldn’t have to see Eijun’s bare chest whenever he looked over.

“There we go,” he said, more to himself than to Eijun, after zipping up the hoodie.

Eijun shook his head. “Nope, you still need to tie my shoes for me,” he said.

Chris stared at him. “You don’t need your pinky to tie your shoes.”

“All my other fingers curl in sympathy,” Eijun said and Chris couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. “Please?”

“Fine,” Chris huffed. This boy would be the death of him. He knelt down in front of Eijun to tie his shoes. “I’ll get you some velcro for your birthday, you big baby.”

“Hey!” Eijun protested but he was laughing and so was Chris, who barely managed to finish the bow for Eijun’s shoelaces. Thankfully there were no complaints about them being crooked so they could finally be on their way.

They walked in silence while Eijun texted Kominato about where he was going – something Chris tried to not put too much thought into, if he was being honest – until Eijun stuffed his phone back into his pocket.

“I’m so excited!” he announced.

Chris blinked, startled by the sudden mood swing. “Uh. Why?”

“I finally get to see where you live,” Eijun said with a shit-eating grin.

“I thought you already knew, what with he cameras in my apartment and all,” Chris deadpanned.

Eijun laughed. “No, honestly. You’re so mysterious. All I know is that you have an apartment off-campus. I don’t even know how far away it is.”

“It’s not that far,” Chris shrugged. “Twenty minutes if I walk slowly, fifteen at your pace.”

“Ohhh,” Eijun crowed, “you calculated my pace.”

Chris huffed a little but couldn’t keep he smile of his face. “No, it just happens to be also my usual pace.”

“We’re so compatible,” Eijun said and there it was again, the tone where Chris couldn’t be sure if Eijun was making fun of him or flirting with him.

Instead he just shook his head lightly, partially to show his amusement but mostly to clear his thoughts. “And I’m not mysterious,” he said.

“In high school I thought you were a lazy pushover for weeks. You’re plenty mysterious.”

“That…” Chris sighed, tugged at the hair at the back of his head and thought about what to say for a moment. “I was ashamed and sad. I was depressed, Eijun. It’s not a mystery.”

“I know,” Eijun said, surprisingly timid. “I was there, remember?”

“Yeah,” Chris said. “Yeah, I do.” He turned his head and smiled at Eijun, almost involuntarily, remembering how Eijun somehow had led him back onto the path of joy.

They arrived at Chris’ apartment complex a few minutes later and Chris somehow managed to hold open the door for Eijun without making a scene out of it, although it felt weird to him when Eijun smiled at him in thanks.

“Which floor?” Eijun asked when the elevator arrived and they got on.

“Oh, um… fourth,” Chris said, a little distracted as he was already searching for his keys but reaching out to press the button for his floor anyway.

Eijun grinned and batted his hand away to press the button himself, not unlike an excited eight-year-old. “Nope, this is my job.”

Chris rolled his eyes but had to bite his lips to keep from smiling even more broadly.

He was at least still gracefully allowed to open his own door and gave a little mock curtsy when the lock clicked open. “Welcome to my very mysterious cave.”

It wasn’t dark outside yet which was actually relieving to Chris. He liked his flat most in daylight. The lightbulbs made it cozy at night, but natural light gave it the open, smart aura he preferred for visitors.

Eijun stepped across the threshold, actually bowing a little and mumbling a quick “Ojamashimasu.” Chris had to cover his mouth with his hand quickly to avoid laughing. He followed Eijun inside and closed the door behind them, toeing off his shoes.

“You’re not usually this polite,” he said casually, putting on his slippers and nudging a spare pair towards Eijun.

“I have manners!” Eijun said loudly. “I just don’t use them very much.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Eijun stuck out his tongue at Chris and stuck his feet into the slippers. “Enough of this. Let’s see your home.”

Chris had the distinct thought that being embarrassed in front of Eijun would lead him into an early grave but he led the way anyway.

“That’s the kitchen,” he said, gesturing to the door on he left. “The bathroom’s on the right and well, there’s not much of a hallway so... welcome to my living room...”

Eijun took all of it in with wide eyes. “You have a lot of plants,” he said.

Now Chris did laugh, still covering his mouth with his hand. “I have three potted plants.”

“I have a cactus that’s probably going to die,” Eijun mumbled.

“You literally can’t kill cacti,” Chris said. “Just don’t overwater them.”

“You underestimate my ability to kill plants,” Eijun grinned. “Man, this looks nice.” He walked over to the couch, touching it hesitantly. “But I’d have expected you to have a leather couch.”

“No, way too expensive and hard to maintain. This suits me just fine,” Chris shrugged but Eijun had already zeroed in on the next thing.

“Wow, your TV’s huge! Wait… is that your bedroom?”

“No, the last door leads to my secret helicopter landing pad, I sleep on my cheap couch,” Chris said, trying to keep his voice even but ultimately failing as Eijun slightly shoved him for the sarcasm as he walked past him to the door that was standing ajar.

Chris didn’t know how he felt about letting Eijun into his bedroom. No one except him had been in there in a while. It was his most private refuge.

But then there was Eijun, barging in through opened doors, an invited guest that Chris had let into his world once again.

So Chris didn’t protest and just let him walk into his sanctuary, only managing a weak “It’s not very tidy…” and having a strange sense of déjà vu.

This was why he had so suddenly backed off in high school. Eijun just broke down all of his defenses without even having to try much and it was terrifying. It could be disastrous and Chris had never been able to figure out how to cope with it back then.

Now he just took a deep breath and decided to go with it. Like giving in to the waves of the sea he would let himself be carried by Eijun’s stormy side for a while.

“Well it’s definitely not as messy as my dorm room,” Eijun said diplomatically while standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. “But I wouldn’t have taken you for the person to have dirty dishes in your bedroom.”

Chris flushed a little, coming to stand next to him. “It’s a bad habit,” he said. “But I like reading in my bed best and when I study in here I like to snack…” None of the plates were older than two days, he made sure to clean them out periodically – the only time when this didn’t work was during finals but he usually came to terms with the messy state of his flat then due to sheer lack of time.

Eijun laughed. “Man, I’d like to see that!” He turned around and grinned at Chris. “Also, why do you have two desks?”

The bedroom was small, barely providing enough space for Chris’ bed – which was rather big for one person if he was honest – and his wardrobe and the desk he had crammed in only made it worse.

“It’s just practical,” Chris mumbled, ducking his head a little.

“No, it takes up space. You already have a desk in the living room but no dining table, and then there’s another desk in the bedroom? It doesn’t make sense.” Eijun shook his head almost as if he was disappointed in Chris and Chris’ brows furrowed in confusion.

“I usually eat at the kitchen table,” Chris explained. “And I have a low table in the living room.” He didn’t know exactly what Eijun’s problem was with his arrangement since Chris had to live with it, not Eijun.

“That’s basically a coffee table,” Eijun scoffed and Chris had to walk to his desk and pick up some of the dishes to busy himself, otherwise he might have lost his temper.

“I didn’t think you’d be so traditional,” he said, shaking his head and leading the way back out of the room.

He didn’t see Eijun blink in realisation but he could almost hear him think – mostly because he fell silent. They walked into the kitchen in an awkward silence.

“I grew up traditional… sort of,” Eijun said – almost defensively – when Chris deposited the dishes in the sink.

“I know,” Chris said, turning around to lean against the counter and face Eijun instead of immediately cleaning the dishes or finding something else to do. “I just didn’t think that after living in a dorm for three years in non-traditional arrangements you’d still have it so ingrained.” He made a hand-motion that gestured at Eijun’s entire form. “Especially with your… character.”

Eijun puffed up his cheeks a little, obviously gearing himself up for protest but then he just deflated and Chris annoyance faded with it, the sight being just too familiar not to be soothing.

“I’m sorry,” Eijun said and it startled Chris a little. “I got overexcited by finally getting to see your home and I guess I forgot to think.”

“It’s okay,” Chris said. “Sometimes you just have no filter.”

Eijun sighed. “Sometimes?” he asked with a long-suffering expression and Chris laughed, because when Eijun could make fun of himself like this he obviously wasn’t feeling too bad about it.

“Why would you expect me to be traditional is beyond me, though. I’m only half Japanese,” Chris said, shaking his head a little.

“I don’t know,” Eijun shrugged. “You just seem the type for it, probably. But now that I think about it this suits you just as well. Modern and clean and calm.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, pushing himself off the counter and taking a step towards Eijun. “I’m not always calm,” he said, remembering some very impulsive times in high school when he had not been calm at all.

“Well, you have a calm presence,” Eijun sniffed and Chris laughed, leaning into Eijun’s space slightly.

“If you say so,” he said, before he caught himself in what he was doing and tore himself away, trying not to look at the colour rising in Eijun’s cheeks. God, why was he blushing?

Instead Chris opened his fridge to see if he had anything else than the soba noodles he knew he had stashed away in one of his cabinets – he definitely knew he was tragically out of rice and hadn’t had the chance to go grocery shopping yet. “Umm… okay,” he said, not very articulate and he knew his neck was turning hot with a blush himself. “I still have leftover miso soup from yesterday,” he said quickly, “and the pork I bought on monday.”

“Sounds good,” Eijun said, sounding kind of winded.

“If I had known yesterday I could have gone shopping and you could have curry now,” Chris teased, somehow not being able to stop himself, “but alas, you like being spontaneous.”

“You bought the pork on monday but you didn’t buy rice?” Eijun asked, appearing at Chris’ side and the voice in the back of Chris’ head had the audacity to remark that he had caught himself pretty fast.

“I was distracted and thought I still had some at home,” Chris mumbled, grinding his teeth.

“Ohhh, distracted?” Eijun crowed. “By what?”

“Work. Now sit down before I throw you out of my home for being rude,” Chris said, intending no such thing. He just wanted to be able to work – or rather cook – in peace without being distracted by Eijun. Becausse he was very distracting although he would do anything not to admit it out loud.

“Fine,” Eijun said light-heartedly and hopped up on one of the stools at Chris’ high kitchen table, watching him from there.

“So I guess I could top the soba with some of the assorted vegetables I still have and stew the pork too?” Chris said, scratching his head. “Or… hold on.” He opened the storage cabinet again. “I still have tempura batter so I could also… do that.”

“Ohhh, I love tempura!” Eijun cut in excitedly.

“Well, then I guess tempura it is,” Chris grinned. “I have no seafood though, only vegetables.”

“That’s fine,” Eijun said, slightly kicking the leg of the chair beneath him.

“Alright,” Chris said, already on the task of getting out ingredients and his pans. “But you have to take care of me when I burn myself, I haven’t prepared tempura myself in a while.”

He looked up just in time to see Eijun’s face fall into an expression of horror. “You don’t have to,” Eijun said quickly and Chris could have slapped himself.

“I was joking,” he said quickly. “I haven’t deep-fried anything lately but I know how to do it, don’t worry.”

“If you’re sure,” Eijun said, worry still edged on his face. “But I can help!”

Chris sighed. “Have you ever prepared tempura before?”

“No,” Eijun mumbled and Chris shook his head slightly, taking out a cutting board.

“Also look at your hand and then say that you want to help again.”

Eijun did so almost too obediently, his mouth shaping a surprised O, almost as if he had forgotten that his finger had been hurt an hour before.

“Let me do this for you, yeah?” Chris said, immediately feeling like the phrase was too much, too intimate, but he couldn’t take it back anymore. “And next time we’ll make a less risky curry if it bothers you that much.”

“Okay,” Eijun said.

Chris smiled. “Didn’t think you’d be so much against me taking risks.”

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Eijun said, hesitantly, barely loud enough for Chris to hear and he bit his lip so he wouldn’t keep smiling at Eijun admitting this weakness.

Chris assured him again that he would be fine – although he wasn’t sure that doing it while pouring oil into the pan was helping – before tuning out any further complaints to focusing on the actual cooking and frying.

He managed not to hurt himself but could feel Eijun’s watchful eyes boring into his back the entire time until Chris set him to the task of getting plate and cutlery.

“We’re going to eat at my non-traditional kitchen table,” Chris teased, not being able to help himself and hiding his grin by turning towards the stove again.

“Very funny,” Eijun grumbled. “Where’s your plates?”

Chris pointed to the right cupboard without looking up from his work and Eijun trudged over to it and, judging by the clattering sound, successfully removed two plates with only one hand.

“And to think you couldn’t tie your own shoelaces earlier,” Chris mumbled, purposefully just loud enough for Eijun to hear.

The protest was immediate. “Hey! Grabbing two plates with my right hand doesn’t require any fine motor skills on my left!”

“I can’t believe it. You outsmarted me. You should be studying medicine, not me.”

Eijun snorted. “Who’d read all the nice literature then? You can keep your medicine, I’m gonna stay with my books and we can complement each other perfectly.”

Chris reacted by fucking up turning off the stove like one would fumble a throw. He missed the knob entirely twice and on the third try turned it higher instead, jumping back instinctively as if the oil would immediately start attacking him.

“Shit!” he cursed, finally managing to turn off the heat.

“What?” Eijun yelled, immediately jumping next to him. “What happened?!”

“Nothing,” Chris said hastily. “It’s fine.” He knew just telling Eijun wouldn’t calm him so he turned towards him, holding out his hands, his heart hammering in his throat. “See? Everything’s fine. I just got a little distracted by our conversation and turned the knob the wrong way.”

Distracted definitely wasn’t the right way to put it. Eijun had completely startled, shocked him by referring to them as complementary. As if they were a unit. A couple.

“I’m sorry!” Eijun said immediately and Chris shook his head.

“It’s not your fault. Anyway, nothing happened, it’s fine.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure himself or Eijun. It had to have been a fluke. They were a battery, barely, nothing more.

Still Chris somehow found himself watching Eijun a lot while they ate and he hoped to god that Eijun didn’t notice.

He was starting to feel like he was going to have to do something about this situation. The weird limbo of not knowing if they were actually flirting with each other, if there was the possibility of something more or if Eijun actually had something going on with Kominato.

“Are you okay?” Eijun’s voice tore Chris from his musings.

Chris blinked, Eijun’s concerned face coming into focus and he lowered his chopsticks with guilt sinking in his stomach.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just zoned out,” he said, biting back an even worse excuse.

Eijun kept scrutinizing him. “You sure?”

“I’m fine, Eijun,” Chris said. “Even I get lost in my thoughts sometimes.” He regretted saying it almost immediately but bravely continued eating anyway.

But of course Eijun had to pick up on it. “What are you thinking about?” he asked, eyes wide and Chris sighed.

“How… how glad I am that we reconnected in University?” he answered, making it sound more like a question than it was intended to be, but Eijun’s face split into a smile anyway and the guilty feeling in Chris’ gut lifted a little. At least he wasn’t lying.

“Me too!” Eijun said, waving his chopsticks excitedly and Chris had the urge to grab his hand and still it. “I really like hanging out with you and I love playing baseball with you!”

Chris tried to ignore the casual mention of the word love. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Eijun loved a lot of things and especially baseball.

So when Eijun insisted on helping him with the dishes even though Chris had invited him for dinner and they were standing next to each other t the sink – Chris washing, Eijun drying – he told himself that it didn’t mean anything. Because while it was painfully domestic, it was also something friends just did with each other. It shouldn’t mean anything more.

He should just be glad that he had been able to distract Eijun from his hand for a while.

***

Eijun’s finger hadn’t gotten better by the time he had left at night so they had decided that he should go and see an orthopaedic professional the next day after classes. Only he had looked so heartbroken about it that Chris had agreed to go with him almost immediately, excusing them both with the coach.

He didn’t regret it, really, but seeing Eijun this nervous hurt. He was bouncing his leg and his hands kept twitching in a way that led Chris to assume that he would have been biting his nails if taking care of his hands hadn't been drilled into him so thoroughly. The waiting room was fairly empty, which was possibly the only explanation why Chris thought it was even anywhere close to rational to put his hand on Eijun’s knee.

“It’ll be fine,” he said.

Eijun’s knee stilled but his hands were still drawn into fists, his left – now devoid of the tape – having come to lie closer to Chris’ hand than he had intended.

For a moment, neither of them said anything, with Eijun just staring at his lap – at Chris hand, maybe – and Chris being hyper-aware of how thin the fabric of Eijun’s pants was.

Then Eijun looked up at Chris. “Do you really think so?”

Chris nodded. “It’s not swollen, is it? That’s a good sign. You’ve never had issues before and you didn’t do anything out of the ordinary.”

For a moment Eijun looked like he wanted to say something in protest, his mouth half-opened but then he just shut it again, redirecting his gaze back to Chris hand on his knee.

Chris felt like his hand was radiating the heat of his embarrassment but before he could take it away a nurse entered. Eijun’s head shot up and for a second he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“We’re ready for you now,” she said.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Chris asked and Eijun nodded, so Chris finally took his hand away and got up.

The exam didn’t take very long, a few questions, some bending practices of the hand and an x-ray but when the doctor came back with the pictures Eijun’s leg was jumping up and down again and this time Chris had to control the urge to still it.

“It’s nothing major,” the doctor said, “your tendon is just irritated, at the beginnings of an inflammation.” He indicated the area on the x-ray and Chris felt an uneasiness that didn’t stem from Eijun’s nervousness. This was a little too familiar.

“The icing and taping you’ve done yesterday were a good decision,” the doctor continued, looking at Chris for a moment, then back to Eijun. “I would prescribe you some NSAIDs and recommend you to continue the taping. Definitely take a break from practice, too – at least pitching.”

Eijun looked like he had just been handed his death sentence, his face ashy, and Chris put a hand on his shoulder for reassurance.

“How long?” Eijun mumbled.

“A week at least,” the doctor said. “You’ll come back then and we’ll look at it again and if it’s better you can slowly get back into practice.”

Eijun’s face became even paler. “We have a game coming up in two weeks,” he whispered hoarsely.

Chris would have found it too harsh to point out – even in jest – that he wasn’t a guaranteed starter yet. There had been enough of that already.

“I can’t tell you with any certainty that you’ll be recovered by then, I’m sorry,” the doctor said.

“The first game isn’t extremely important, anyway,” Chris cut in. “They’ll have to manage without u- without you.”

Eijun blinked at him in confusion and Chris slightly squeezed his shoulder, attempting a smile to cover up him almost saying ‘us’, as if he wouldn’t play either.

“You won’t be out for long,” the doctor said, “and I’m certain your recovery will be fast.”

Chris bit his lip, because he couldn’t promise that, at all – but then again no one had ever said that to him. No one had ever promised him a speedy recovery because by the time he had gone to a doctor it had been far too late.

The doctor wrote out a receipt for the anti-inflammatory drugs and then they were on their less than merry way. Eijun being uncharacteristically silent, his hands stuffed into his pocket and his head bowed.

“Do you want to stop at a pharmacy right away?” Chris asked and Eijun shrugged.

“Sure,” he mumbled.

Chris stopped walking, grasping Eijun’s elbow to stop him, too. “This isn’t the end of the world, Eijun,” he said. “I know it sucks. Believe me, I do. But you’ll play again, probably before the first game even.”

“I knew I was gonna have to take a break,” Eijun said, sounding defeated and Chris could barely withhold a sigh. “But I thought… maybe only a few days…” He trailed off, shaking his head and Chris wrapped an arm around him in an almost automatic response, wanting to comfort him.

“A week is only a few days, look at it that way,” he said. He spotted a pharmacy across the street and found the next crossing a good fifty meters away. “Come on, let’s go pick up your meds and then we can tape up your finger again…”

Eijun just nodded, lapsing back into silence and Chris only kept his arm around Eijun’s shoulders out of sheer stubbornness. Or maybe it just felt right.

When they were waiting for the light to turn green at the crossing, Chris saw a bookshop a few doors down from the pharmacy and tapped Eijun’s upper arm from where his hand was still resting on his shoulder.

“Hey, do you want to go check out some books after we’re done in the pharmacy?” he asked, desperate for any way to cheer him up.

“Books?” Eijun lifted his head a little to peer across the street at the sign above the store front. He sighed, his shoulder lifting beneath Chris’ arm with the intake of breath. “Yeah, I guess.”

Which wasn’t the enthusiastic answer Chris had hoped for, but it was a start.

The light finally turned green and they headed over to the pharmacy, Eijun sliding the receipt over the counter quietly while Chris collected some icing spray, sports tape and cooling packs from the shelves because Eijun had confessed to not having any at his dorm room – which Chris had expected.

After they had paid for their purchases Chris led the way back out to the street and headed towards the bookshop before Eijun could change his mind.

“I don’t think I’ve actually browsed through a bookshop since I came back from America,” Chris confessed when they stepped through the doors and Eijun blinked at him in confusion.

“Seriously?” he asked, brows furrowing a little.

Chris shrugged. “Yeah, I even bought my books for class online.”

“I hope not via Amazon,” Eijun mumbled and Chris strategically kept quiet because he had, in fact, done that.

Eijun’s hands didn’t move from where he had shoved them back into his pockets but he stepped closer to the shelves, inspecting some of the new titles with scrutiny.

“I haven’t read anything for fun lately,” he said, bending down a little to look at a title, his back towards Chris. “Like… most of the stuff we read in class is enjoyable but I have to read those books, you know? For grades. Usually that’s always in the back of my mind.”

Chris nodded but then realised that of course Eijun couldn’t see that. “Yeah,” he said, not really sure what else to reply.

“I want to read some cheesy love story again without having to analyse every detail of the relationship for class,” Eijun said. “Hell, I think I haven’t read a manga in weeks and I used to read at least one volume a day.”

Chris smiled, despite his words Eijun seemed to have perked up again. If he started ranting about anything he would take it as a good sign.

“You can get some manga,” he said.

“But when would I read them?” Eijun asked, turning around with an irritated expression on his face.

“You’ll be training less this week,” Chris said sternly and Eijun opened his mouth to protest but Chris held up his hand to cut him off. “Listen to me, please. You can still do your running regimen of course. But even most of the strength exercises are out of the question if they utilize your arms too much. I know not doing anything will stress you out, I get it. But I’d rather see you reading than falling into a hole because of this.”

Eijun stared at him for a moment then his eyes darted towards the manga department hopefully and Chris had to smile again.

“Now I’m gonna spend all my food money for this week on books,” Eijun said but it didn’t sound like he would regret it much.

“You can come over for dinner anytime,” Chris offered, much too fast and much too freely but he just couldn’t stop himself. “The allowance my Dad pays me is much too high.”

“You lucky bastard,” Eijun said but there was no reproach in his voice and he was already on his way towards the shoujo manga, Chris in tow.

“I am,” Chris said. “I’m very lucky.”

And he was. He had been able to recover from his injury, he was playing baseball again at a good university with his sight set on going pro. He was doing well in his studies and he was able to focus on his classes and baseball without having to take a part time job despite not having a scholarship. Having a well-off family made him extremely fortunate and he was aware of that.

“Do you have a part-time job?” Chris asked because it was a possibility.

Eijun turned around again for a second. “No,” he said. “I offered but my parents said I should focus on my studies instead. I don’t think it’s easy for them but they won’t let me chip in.” He sighed.

But then he was back to looking at book titles and reading blurbs and Chris hung back a little, inspecting some of the more popular titles himself. Maybe some recreational reading would do him good, too.

By the time they exited the bookshop Eijun was considerably more upbeat and chatty.

“I hope you guys win if I can’t play,” he said, glaring at Chris and Chris laughed.

“We’re not some kind of small-town team where losing the single pitcher and default ace means we can’t compete.”

“I know but I… I wanted to prove myself,” Eijun mumbled, ducking his head a little and fear welled up in Chris. He had just cheered him up, Eijun couldn’t just go down like this again!

He sighed. “Yes, I know and there’s nothing wrong about that. But your health comes before your ego as an athlete.”

“I just really wanted to play with you,” Eijun mumbled and the corner of Chris’ mouth quirked up.

“You will,” he said, “I promise you will.”

They walked towards the station, Chris carrying both their shopping bags despite Eijun having called him ridiculous multiple times. He knew that theoretically Eijun could’ve carried his bag with his right hand without problems but he had enjoyed seeing him sputter when Chris had just grabbed the bags so much that he had kept them.

The train in their direction was fairly empty which was a surprise at this time of the day but Chris was glad to be able to sit next an Eijun who wasn’t as fidgety as earlier anymore.

“Can I come with you to your dorm?” Chris asked when they got to their stop.

“Uh,” Eijun made. “Yeah, I guess? It’s like, barely habitable at the moment though. Why do you want to?”

Chris bit his lip but couldn’t hide his smile. “I just want to see where you live, since you’ve seen my flat,” he answered honestly. “And I need to drop these off.” He motioned at the bags standing on the floor between his feet. “And tape your hand again I guess.”

“As if I couldn’t figure that out myself by now,” Eijun scoffed but then shrugged. “Yeah, sure, you can come. Just, you know, real messy.”

“I can live with that,” Chris shrugged.

Eijun’s dorm room was, in fact, extremely messy and very small. It probably had to do with a lot of stuff having accumulated in a tiny room but Chris was still a little taken aback by the chaos that revealed itself when Eijun opened the door.

You couldn’t see the floor. At all.

Eijun swept in with a speed he hadn’t exhibited all day and started throwing pieces of clothing into a laundry basket that was standing next to he door.

Chris quickly put down the shopping bags and stepped in front of Eijun.

“Stop,” he said. “It’s okay.”

Eijun shook his head. “It looks even worse than I remembered,” he said. “I just… wanted to make some space so you don’t like… step on my dirty laundry.”

“I’ve stepped on a lot of dirty laundry in my time,” Chris said, somehow making it worse than it had sounded in his head and he grimaced. “Uh, well, I mean… I know how messy small rooms can get, especially if you’re busy. It’s fine. As long as you have somewhere to sit…”

He looked around, but the only chair – the one at Eijun’s desk, of course – was occupied by a pile of books and more clothes, stacked alternately.

“We can sit on the bed?” Eijun offered, sounding apologetic and scratching the back of his neck. “Or we can go into the kitchen, but my floor-mates might be there and they’re a very nosy bunch.”

“The bed is fine,” Chris said quickly. “Where should I put the books?”

“Oh, umm… just,” Eijun looked around but the desk was stacked with more books and papers and the single small shelf he had was filled with paperbacks and manga in double rows, more of them put on top. He sighed defeatedly. “Just leave them there, I’ll stack them against the wall after I’ve cleaned a bit.”

Chris nodded, only picking up the plastic bag with the sports tape. “Okay…” He paused. “Do you want me to tape up your finger again then?”

Eijun shrugged. “Sure,” he said.

“You should probably wash your hands before we do that,” Chris said when Eijun was already heading for the bed. “Since we were in town all day.”

“Geeerrrrms,” Eijun made, wriggling his fingers with a grin and then grimacing. “Ah, bad idea.”

Chris grimaced in sympathy. “Go wash your hands and then we’ll do the taping so you don’t do that again,” he said, already holding up the tape in a mock-threat.

Eijun just rolled his eyes, looking like he was holding back from sticking out his tongue at Chris, and left the room again, presumably to go wash his hands in the shared bathroom somewhere down the hall.

With a small sigh Chris took his surroundings in one more time and then decided to take a seat on the bed after all.

He was sure he would go beet red if he ever had to admit it out loud but he had actually liked taping Eijun’s finger the day before. He had always enjoyed looking at and touching Eijun’s hands, despite never really allowing himself to do it outside of a semi-professional context. So he looked forward to doing it again, even if it was a little wrong to think like that, since Eijun was injured and already fretting about it.

Still this time around maybe, just maybe, he let his fingers linger a little too long on Eijun’s skin when he came back and settled next to Chris on the bed.

“Alright, there’s still no swelling,” Chris said, ripping off equally long parts of tape and putting them on the jeans fabric on his knee for safe-keeping and later use.

“The doc said the same,” Eijun said, sounding slightly impatient.

“Because it’s a good thing,” Chris explained. “It might heal faster this way.”

“Might…” Eijun mumbled but Chris let it slide, instead focusing on positioning Eijun’s fingers right so they were slightly bent instead of completely straight.

He took one of the tape strips from his jeans and put it around Eijun’s finger as a base.

“Why did you have to put it there?” Eijun grumbled quietly and Chris looked up, confused.

“It’s an anchor strip,” he started to explain, “so the other ones are secure and don’t just peel off your finger.”

Eijun blinked and tore his gaze away from where he was looking at his finger to look at Chris. “Oh,” he made, “uh… no. I meant… why did you have to put them on your pants?” Chris stared at him. “I… umm… won’t they. Not stick anymore?”

Chris kept staring for another few seconds until he caught himself. Why was Eijun so flustered by this? “No, the adhesive won’t get a lot weaker just because it’s been on my jeans for a minute,” he said. “And I can reach them best there and they won’t stick to anything else.”

He took another strip from his pants.

“Yeah, okay,” Eijun said and Chris frowned a little while putting the tape on his finger. Somehow he had the feeling this wasn’t really about the tape but about his… jeans?

The realization made him stop for a moment, his fingers hovering over Eijun’s hand.

Oh.

“I can’t put them on my arm,” he said, trying to sound apologetic, “putting them on my own skin would be counterproductive and my pullover is too… fuzzy.”

Eijun snorted, colour having risen into his cheeks. “I don’t think you can describe any of your clothes as fuzzy,” he said.

“I beg to differ,” Chris said, smiling slightly, his eyes and hands on his task again, “my pullover is very soft.”

“I’ll believe it when I feel it,” Eijun said.

“You have a free hand, feel free to try,” Chris deadpanned and after a moment he felt a hand on his left arm. Eijun was actually feeling the softness of his pullover.

Chris just raised his eyebrows while he kept his arm still for a moment, his hand resting awkwardly on Eijun’s. “I might not have thought this through,” he said but Eijun just laughed.

“It really is soft!” he said, running his hand up Chris’ sleeve one more time. “You’re a big softie!”

Chris shook his head and moved his hand again finished taping Eijun’s finger, again buddy-taping it with his ring finger. “If you say so,” he said, then, “There, all done.”

Eijun had taken his hand from Chris’ pullover and inspected his hand. “Thanks,” he said.

“Do you think you can do it yourself next time?”

“I already told you,” Eijun said, feigning annoyance, “I can do it.”

“Well,” Chris said, putting away the tape, “if you show up with crooked tape tomorrow you owe me lunch.”

Eijun squinted at him. “A bet?”

“I guess,” Chris shrugged. He mostly just wanted to make sure that Eijun took care of his hand properly. And maybe he also wanted to spend more time with him.

“You know that if I mess it up I’ll just ask Harucchi to do it, right?” Eijun said, laughing and kicking his legs out.

“Does he live on the same floor as you?” Chris asked, vaguely remembering Kominato mentioning something like that once and Eijun nodded.

“Yeah, like three doors down.”

Chris hesitated. This would be a good opportunity – not perfect, because there was never an ideal situation for this – to ask about Eijun and Kominato but could he really dare?

“Um,” he made, because even his mouth was sometimes faster than his brain, “Kominato and you… did you ever… date?” His stumbling over his own words was embarrassing but he couldn’t change it now so he just looked up at Eijun who looked back with a quizzical expression.

“Why are you so interested in my former relationships?” Eijun asked.

“Because I was almost one of them?” Chris ventured and Eijun sighed.

“We dated for a while,” he said, now pulling his leg under him again. “Until shortly before graduation, actually. But I guess I was too intense for him, too.” He grimaced and Chris winced in sympathy.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Eijun made a dismissive hand motion. “It’s okay,” he said. “It was different from… us.”

Chris frowned slightly, something coming to his mind. “But I thought… He still likes you, doesn’t he?” At least that was what Kominato’s texts had made it sound like.

“He does,” Eijun said, very straightforward. “But like… I’m… I need a lot of attention, I guess. Which is not something Harucchi deals well with. And I’m very touchy. And he needs his space but if I… if I’m in a relationship with someone I want to touch them constantly and it just- We ended up agreeing that it was better if we broke up because we both ended up being unhappy a lot.”

“Oh,” Chris made and looked down at his arm, his arm that Eijun had just been touching a minute before.

“Yeah,” Eijun said but for some reason it almost sounded like an echo.

They were silent for a minute, Chris trying to process all the new information he had just gotten. It made so much sense. And it was… Eijun. It had to have hurt, both of them in fact, but they had still been responsible enough to work past it and stay friends somehow. Kominato hadn’t bailed and cut off all ties like Chris had. Eijun hadn’t stopped trying with him.

“Hey,” Eijun said, tearing Chris from his thoughts, “don’t you think this looks weird?”

Chris looked at his face, then at his hand that he was holding up a little and he reached out instinctively.

“I did it exactly the same way as last time,” he said, cradling Eijun’s hand in his and running his fingers over the tape while his heart beat wildly in his chest once again. “It looks fine to me, to be honest.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath and looked up to see Eijun staring at him, their eyes meeting.

“Did that hurt?” Chris asked, suddenly feeling like his throat was too tight.

“No,” Eijun shook his head, “I just umm… I…” He trailed and leaned forward slightly.

And then Chris listened to his instinct instead of his mind, for once, and kissed him. He just leant in and pressed his lips to Eijun’s, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

For a moment he thought he could feel Eijun’s lips moving against his but then Eijun put a hand on Chris’ chest, slowly pushing him away, though he seemed hesitant about it.

“You always talked about… us, about your feelings in past tense,” he said, his voice sounding so uncertain but his eyes full of something resembling hope.

Chris smiled weakly, his heart beating in his throat where his breath had gotten stuck. “Because I wasn’t sure,” he admitted. “And because I thought you had moved on.”

“I had,” Eijun mumbled. “Or well. I tried. But…”

“It didn’t work,” Chris said, his own voice sounding more hopeful than he wanted it to.

“Listen,” Eijun said, his tone turning clear and serious, and Chris body went cold all over. “I’m not going to ask you again because we both remember last time. I can’t do that again. But...”

Chris scooted back a little. “I’m… Yeah. I understand,” he said, not sure if he actually did. Was he the one being turned down this time? Had Eijun’s feelings changed after all?

Eijun took a deep breath. “I just… Give me some time, maybe? I know it’s ridiculous to ask for that after, you know, everything and also after what I just told you but I have to… think.”

“Sure,” Chris said, sounding deflated to his own ears and got up from the bed hastily.

“Don’t,” Eijun said and for a moment Chris thought he was asking him not to leave, “don’t disappear on me again, okay? This isn’t me ending this friendship. I still want you… I still need you around.”

“Okay,” Chris said and realized that he wasn’t masking his disappointment well with his one-word answers but he couldn’t bring himself to act appropriately. He managed to press out a “I’ll see you tomorrow” before he was out of the door.

He had barely closed it behind him when he realised two things. The first was that he had forgotten the smaller bag of two books that he had gotten for himself; the second that he had just told Eijun he’d see him tomorrow – at training, which Eijun might not even come to.

And then it hit him that he had made a move on Eijun on a day that had to have been extremely exhausting and emotionally taxing for him and he wanted to punch himself. How could he have so little tact?

He walked home from Eijun’s dorm feeling even more awful than this afternoon when he had been sitting next to Eijun in the waiting room. It felt a world away, like the glow of the street lights had somehow changed time.

He had fucked up.

***

The next day when he got to the training grounds he didn’t expect to see Eijun already running along the fence, the determination edged into his face visible even from afar.

Chris stood frozen next to the bench for a moment but then he rolled his shoulders, steeled himself and broke into a jog himself. He wasn’t going to be a coward.

Eijun was going at a faster pace than Chris but noticed him pretty quickly and slowed down so Chris could catch up, which made Chris exhale in relief. This was good.

“Hey,” he said when he reached Eijun.

“Yo,” Eijun grinned, raising his left so Chris could see the properly taped finger. Chris wondered briefly if Kominato had had a hand in this or if Eijun had actually done it himself. Considering how his right was his weak hand he thought it unlikely.

“I see you showed up and are sticking to your running,” Chris said for lack of a better conversation topic.

Eijun nodded. “There’s really nothing else to do, is there?”

“Really?” Chris asked, “No homework you’re behind on?”

EIjun bit his lip and accelerated a little. “Maybe…”

Chris laughed. “Well you can get to that then, while we’re all sweating here, getting hit by Todoroki’s bat.”

Eijun grimaced and shook his head. “I could think of better things to do than finish a project for poetry class of all things.”

“I know,” Chris said. “But it’s not for long.”

And with that Eijun apparently seemed to consider the conversation finished because he upped his speed again and tore off, leaving Chris in his wake.

Later he spotted Eijun sitting on the bench, watching them do fielding practice but when he looked the next time Eijun had drawn one of his knees up to his chest and was reading something.

He almost missed a throw back home that time but still managed to catch it and the coach only chastised him for a minute before moving on to giving helpful pointers to the others.

Still Yuki came up to him afterwards. “You okay?” he asked.

“I made one mistake,” Chris said. “I’m fine.”

“You seem distracted,” Yuki said, “and you didn’t answer my texts last night.”

Chris swallowed and looked away. “I wasn’t… feeling to well.” Which wasn’t a lie, he had been feeling horrible.

“Well now I think something’s up. So you are going to tell me everything after practice.”

Chris looked at him with what he hoped was an adequately suffering expression but didn’t protest. Once Yuki got something into his head it was hard to change his mind so Chris didn’t even try. “Fine,” he said and Yuki walked off looking satisfied.

After training Chris didn’t immediately go back to the locker rooms. Not because he wanted to avoid Yuki but since Eijun had taken off at some point during the fielding exercise he had decided to talk to Kominato, even though he expected it to be awkward.

“Hey,” he opened the conversation. “Um… Did Eijun tell you about yesterday?”

Kominato looked up at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes for a second. “About the doctor’s visit or how you kissed him?”

This didn’t really come as a surprise to Chris since Eijun had never been one to keep anything to himself that he wasn’t sworn to keep a secret. “The latter,” he answered, truthfully, keeping his sarcastic ‘both’ to himself. “But since you know I guess he did.”

At least Kominato didn’t seem to foster any animosity which relieved Chris a little.

“He did,” Kominato nodded.

“I’m not going to ask you what he said,” Chris said quickly, “because I know you won’t tell me and I can ask him myself. I just… Wanted to make sure he was okay.”

“He is,” Kominato said. “He was a bit… confused, I guess, but we talked about it.”

Chris nodded to himself a little. “That’s good…” He paused for a second, then looked at Kominato again. “Are you okay with this?”

Kominato chuckled a little. “You don’t need my blessing,” he said. “But don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

Chris must have looked at him a little unbelieving because Kominato shouldered his bat in an act of finality. “You can believe me.” And then he was off to the locker rooms.

Chris stood there in stunned silence for a second before he could follow him. That kid was something else and he had to seriously rethink his opinion of Kominato not being able to hold his own outside of baseball.

When he opened his locker later he discovered his shopping back from yesterday, neatly put into a corner. Eijun must have left it there before he went home. Chris could feel the disappointment dragging at his shoulders.

While they were changing Yuki kept looking at Chris until Chris was so annoyed he almost put on his shoes the wrong way.

“Just come to my place and I’ll explain,” he said, finally, after almost everyone including Kominato, Todoroki and Nakai – who Chris really didn’t need to hear this – had filed out.

Yuki eyed him for another second. “Okay,” he said.

They spent the walk to Chris’ flat in uncomfortable silence because Chris refused to talk before he was in his own four walls and Yuki wouldn’t let himself get roped into a conversation about strategy.

When they got to the flat, Chris was surprised to find several texts from Eijun when he looked at his phone for a minute.

Sawamura Eijun, 18:05: poetry project is kicking my ASS

Sawamura Eijun, 18:05: almost wrote kissing there :o i blame u!

Sawamura Eijun, 18:06: we get a free pass at the final if we hand in an original poem and the grade holds up

Sawamura Eijun, 18:06: but that’s SO HARD

So apparently he was comfortable enough with the topic to make jokes about it – which didn’t have to mean much, since humor could also be a tactic of avoidance. Still, Chris didn’t feel as bad about talking to Yuki about it anymore.

“What are you smiling about?” Yuki asked and Chris only then realised that a smile had appeared on his face.

“Eijun texted me,” he said, putting his phone aside and instead turning on the electric kettle. Yuki made a vaguely amused noise that Chris ignored pointedly. “Do you want some tea?” he asked and Yuki shrugged.

“Sure,” he said.

So Chris opened the cabinet, took out two mugs and then decided to text back quickly before the water boiled.

 Chris, 19:12: That sounds annoying. Do you have a specific topic?

A minute later Chris put down a mug in front of Yuki, who was already sitting at the table, and took his seat opposite him.

“So, I’ll assume this is about Sawamura,” Yuki opened and Chris looked at him for a moment.

“How do you figure?” he asked, wrapping his fingers around his hot mug.

“Because if it was related to school work, baseball or your family you would have come to me by now instead of bottling it up,” Yuki explained, “even though the family option is less likely. But you like to keep everything concerning Sawamura to yourself.”

Chris gaped at him. “Is it that obvious?”

“Probably only for me,” Yuki said, shaking his head, “and it would be for Tanba, if he were here.”

Chris sighed and looked at his tea, wondering if he would burn his tongue if he would take a sip. “So, you know how I went to the doctor with him yesterday, right?”

Yuki nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, we went and bought tape and books afterwards,” Chris said and Yuki raised an eyebrow. “And I went with him to his dorm room to drop off the books with him and tape his finger and uh, well, we… we kissed.” He retold what had happened that night quickly, heat rising up to his ears.

Yuki looked at him for a while, as if he was calculating something, then he leaned back a little. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll assume that didn’t go too well since you seem to be very worried about it.”

Chris confirmed that with a small nod. “I don’t… I don’t think I ever told you but Eijun asked me out in third year and uh, I rejected him.”

“Okay,” Yuki repeated. “Okay, damn, that’s a surprise.” He seemed to gather his thoughts for a moment. “I just thought you had a hopeless crush on him and his feelings were nothing more than admiration for his senpai but this makes everything a lot clearer in hindsight.”

Chris grimaced. “I’m sorry, I probably should have told you, at least for the sake of the team but after we talked it out I thought he and I were okay.”

“It seemed like that to me,” Yuki nodded.

“This sucks,” Chris groaned and finally gave in to the temptation of drinking some of his tea. “I thought I could at least control my feelings because that’s what I’ve been doing for almost three years but no. I had to kiss him and mess everything up.”

A small laugh escaped Yuki and Chris looked at him in confusion. “I’m sorry,” Yuki said, covering his mouth. “I don’t think you’ve messed it up.”

Chris’ frown deepened. “What?”

“Well, he clearly said he had to think about it, right?” Yuki asked, leaning in like he was sharing a secret. “And he asked you out two years ago. And he still acts the same around you like he did in high school, I can attest to that.”

Chris just kept looking at Yuki with a look bordering on desperation and Yuki shook his head.

“Come on,” he said. “Have a little faith. You’re the most reasonable person I know. Call Tanba if you have to, hash it out with him. It’ll be fine. Sawamura will come around and soon you’ll be the most obnoxious couple on campus.”

“I doubt that,” Chris said with a snort.

“Oh, he’ll see to it,” Yuki grinned but Chris didn’t have the energy to explain to him that the obnoxious part wasn’t what he was doubting. Instead he drank his tea and hoped that yeah, maybe talking to Tanba would be the solution to this.

After Yuki had left Chris checked his phone again – an urge he had been withstanding ever since they had started talking – and found another row of messages from Eijun.

Sawamura Eijun, 19:23: sth in the same tone as the other poems we had in class

Sawamura Eijun, 19:23: so either sth extremely abstract or sth about love

Sawamura Eijun, 19:25: i have something for love but it’s not very good…. D:<

Chris shook his head, smiling fondly. This slice of normalcy was nice.

Chris, 21:01: Do you have a draft already? Do you want to show me?

He couldn’t keep himself from asking. Eijun had shared his mocking attempts at poetry with him too and maybe he wanted some input on this actual project now?

Sawamura Eijun, 21:02: uh…

Sawamura Eijun, 21:02: i’d rather not to be honest

Sawamura Eijun, 21:02. it’s kind of weird

Chris stared at his phone for a moment before he put it aside, leaving an answer for later. So it was too personal for Eijun to share with him. He felt the disappointment bitter in his throat.

He ended up writing a text to Tanba before he went to sleep, because they hadn’t talked in too long and also maybe Tanba could at least provide the advice of someone who was as far removed from the situation as possible.

***

He didn’t see Eijun at all over the weekend, the coach having given him permission to sit out on practice – or rather run it out somewhere else, Chris guessed. And even when the week started he didn’t meet him outside of training and even then it was only during his warm-ups and from afar, and they barely exchanged any words at all.

So when Chris got home on Tuesday and saw that Tanba had texted him back – finally – he was too ready to spill his soul to his best friend.

Tanba Koichiro, 18:35: i’m so sorry, i’ve been crazy busy :( i saw your message and forgot to answer

Tanba Koichiro, 18:35: you can call me tonight though or we can skype! it really has been too long!

Chris, 18:47: I’m home now so if you’re still free I’d really like to call you.

He busied himself with straightening up his flat a little until the answer came in, but he hadn’t been doing much else except that, reading and university work that wasn’t due for another two weeks the past few days so there wasn’t much to clean.

Tanba Koichiro, 18:52: hit me

So Chris sat down on his couch and called and Tanba answered on the first ring, probably anxiously holding his phone in his hand.

“Hey Chris,” he said and Chris gave a shaky exhale of air he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

“Hi,” he said.

“Wow, you sound nervous,” Tanba said.

“Not about calling you,” Chris said with a small laugh, drawing his legs on the couch. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Tanba said. “Training’s stressful but I’m glad to be here. The team’s great. It’s been two years and I still don’t know how I got here.”

Chris listened to Tanba talk for a while, feeling calmer than he had in days but also feeling a little envious. Jealous of the way Tanba had achieved what he would have to wait for a little longer, maybe even years. But he was happy for Tanba. He had really deserved to be drafted.

“So,” Tanba finally said, “how’s your studies going?”

“Good,” Chris said. “I’m not behind on anything and I really like it.”

Tanba laughed. “It’s so like you to say something like that. How’s the team doing? I heard you got Ryo’s brother and Sawamura.”

Of course he would have known. All the Seido alumni were still so well connected, it worked like a chain reaction. Chris cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he managed. “Yeah, we do.”

“Oh, Chris,” Tanba said, realising Chris’ dilemma in a second. “Still?”

“Just because I stopped talking about it at some point doesn’t mean my feelings went away,” Chris said with a shrug and there was silence on the other line for a second. Chris looked out of the window where it had started to rain, big drops bouncing off the windowsill.

Then Tanba said “Okay, tell me what happened since you two met up again.” and Chris did. It was almost cathartic, explaining almost every detail to Tanba and not being made fun of.

“Listen,” Tanba finally said, “I know I don’t have much input and I also know you don’t want to hear this but I guess you’ll have to wait it out. If he needs more time, it’s out of your hands right now. He doesn’t seem opposed to spending time with you, right? So you can keep doing that. But don’t press it.”

“Ugh,” Chris made, causing Tanba to laugh again. “I know you’re right but being so passive is honestly kind of annoying.”

“I know you’ve done a lot of waiting in the last few years,” Tanba said. “But I bet this is worth waiting for.”

“Everyone always praises my patience,” Chris grumbled, “and I’m not even that patient.”

“You are, though,” Tanba said. And that was apparently all the advice he could offer but Chris was grateful nonetheless. Talking to Tanba had made him considerably calmer. He would just have to focus on the upcoming game and take things as they came. Even if it was hard.

***

Chris was just getting ready for bed when there was a knock at his door, effectively interrupting him brushing his teeth. He stuck his head out of the bathroom, frowning. Who would want something from him after 10pm and walk through the rain to get it?

With a sigh he walked to the door and opened it a bit, only to reveal a drenched Eijun, holding an even more miserable looking puppy bundled up in his hoodie.

Chris took the tootbrush out of his mouth and opened the door wider, still staring at Eijun and the dog. “What is this?” he asked.

“It’s a puppy,” Eijun said.

“I can see that,” Chris said. “Why are you and a dog in front of my door at 10pm in this horrible weather?”

“Because I just found him and the dorm doesn’t allow pets,” Eijun said, suppressing a shiver, and beamed hopefully at Chris. Of course Eijun would be the person to pick up a lost puppy. Of course. “Also I'm injured and you should absolutely shelter me.”

Chris bit his lip, faintly tasting the toothpaste, and stepped aside. “Fine, come in.” Why was he the one that had two strays in his flat now?

Maybe because he couldn’t resist puppy eyes.

Eijun weaseled past him so fast Chris barely had time to blink by the time he had closed the door Eijun was already in the bathroom. That sneaky little brat.

“There’s some towels in the cupboard,” Chris said after going back to the bathroom himself. He still needed to finish brushing his teeth after all. Eijun was already digging through the pile of neatly folded towels and pulled one out to wrap the dog in it.

While Chris hovered over the sink to rinse out his mouth Eijun dried off the dog and then set him on the closed toilet, proudly, almost as if to display him. Chris had to admit the puppy had perked up considerably now that he wasn’t dripping wet anymore, which couldn’t be said about Eijun.

“You should take a shower,” Chris said, putting his toothbrush back into the cup.

“What?” Eijun asked, turning around with a puzzled expression.

Chris sniffed and wished he hadn’t said anything. “You’ll catch a cold,” he said in an attempt to explain. “And a shower would warm you up. You could also take a bath, of course, but... it's kind of late.”

Eijun looked down at himself as if noticing for the first time that he had been caught in the rain. “Oh,” he made. “Uh, yeah, maybe a shower is a good idea.”

“Well,” Chris said, “you know where the towels are…” His eyes fell to the dog. “I’ll umm. Take him to the kitchen with me.”

“Okay,” Eijun grinned.

Chris picked up the dog, towels and all, and fled the bathroom in the most dignified way he could muster – which wasn’t very dignified at all, considering he was carrying a small canine wrapped in a red towel and kept tripping over his own bare feet.

Eijun’s suppressed laughter as he closed the door behind Chris ringing in his ears he made his way to the kitchen, his face hotter than it should be after talking to Eijun. He carefully freed the dog from its confines and set it down on the floor.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked the dog, already opening one of his drawers to take out a bowl to fill it with water. When he set it down in front of the puppy it seemed thankful, almost dipping its paw into it in the attempt to lap up the water.

Chris chuckled and was about to get up from his crouched position next to the water bowl to sit down on a chair when he remembered that Eijun was in his shower. Because he had been caught in the rain. Which meant his clothes were wet so he would have nothing dry to change into once he got out of the shower.

Chris groaned and shook his head.

“I’m a reasonable adult,” he told the dog, proving himself wrong in the same breath by talking to an animal. He carefully pet the still damp head of the dog anyway and finally got up to go and find something to wear for Eijun since there was no other way around it.

Five minutes later he deposited a pile of clothes – not including underwear, because he hoped that at least that had stayed dry – in front of the bathroom door and hesitantly rapped his knuckles against the wood.

“Eijun?” he called and the sound of running water ceased a second later.

“Did you say something?”

Chris chuckled. “Yeah. I left some clothes for you in front of the door.”

“Nice! I’ll be out in a minute!” The shower was turned on again and Chris went back to the kitchen and the dog, pretending that he wasn’t flustered at all about Eijun having to wear his clothes.

It only took two more minutes for the bathroom door to open once for Eijun to take the clothes and then another time when Eijun stepped back into the kitchen, still toweling off his hair.

“Thanks,” he said, putting the towel around his shoulders and then crouched down in front of the dog who had jumped in his direction as he entered. “Hey buddy.”

The puppy wagged it’s tail and pawed at Eijun’s foot. Chris very strongly felt like doing the same. His clothes weren’t huge on Eijun, just maybe a size or two too much, and it felt kind of weird to see him in Chris’ old sweatpants and a shirt he remembered he had worn in high school a lot.

“See, he already knows me,” Eijun said, grinning up at Chris who had to tear his eyes away from the collar of the worn out shirt dipping low over Eijun’s collarbones.

“Does he really have no owners?”, Chris asked and Eijun shook his head.

“There’s no collar and I mean… look at his fur and how skinny he is. Pets that are loved don’t look like that.”

Chris had to agree with him silently. There was no way this tiny creature belonged to anyone. It was a wonder he had even survived. “You should bring him to a shelter,” Chris said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Eijun sighed and got up again, straightening his back. “It’s way after closing time,” he said. “Also what if I don’t want to?”

“You can’t keep him,” Chris said. Honestly, Eijun didn’t even have a time for a dog, even if the dorm allowed pets. Which it very much didn’t.

Eijun shook his head. “I can’t keep him in my dorm openly,” he said, “but I could just smuggle him in.”

Chris gaped at him. “They could kick you out! Are you going to lose your housing over a dog?” Chris was pretty sure he knew where this conversation was going but he wasn’t going to give in. Mostly because he felt like he was on the defensive with Eijun in his home, in his clothes, invading his space so naturally. “He’s so small,” he said, “puppies are more likely to get adopted, right? He has a bigger chance than a fully grown one.”

“But he’d be so miserable,” Eijun argued.

“He’d be fed and warm and dry,” Chris said. Eijun looked at him with the best puppy eyes and Chris knew he was going to have to postpone this talk or give up. He bit his lip. “Let’s just…” ‘...go to sleep’ was what he had been about to say but he had realised just in time that Eijun didn’t actually live here. “Talk about it tomorrow?” he finished belatedly.

“Yeah,” Eijun shrugged, “umm… I mean, I can leave him here and go back to my dorm, I guess. But I can also-”

“Stay over,” Chris said, too quickly. “Uh, since you dragged him here you should also take care of him during the night, I think. And like. It’s still raining so you’d just get wet again on the way to your dorm.” Incredible excuses. He was ready to go hide in his bedroom forever.

Eijun laughed at him. “No need to sound so overeager.”

“Uh,” Chris made, frantically searching for something to say. “Did you leave your clothes in the bathroom?”

“Yeah,” Eijun said, “I left them on the radiator but if you have a laundry rack that’d be even better.”

“I’m gonna go,” Chris said, feeling very very desperate, “put those up then.”

“Okay,” Eijun said, visibly amused and Chris fled the room for the second time tonight. This was quickly becoming a habit he didn't want to keep.

When he returned five minutes later it was to the image of Eijun rummaging through his fridge.

“What are you doing?” Chris asked, carefully bending down to pick up the puppy who had immediately sat down on his foot when he had come back.

“Looking for any food that you have left over that’s good for him to eat,” Eijun said casually. Almost as if that was a normal thing to do, coming into people’s homes after dark with a dog one had found on the street and just helping oneself to the contents of their fridge.

“Uh,” Chris made, a little unsure of how to react. “There’s still rice in the cooker, I think dogs can eat that?”

“I guess that works,” Eijun said. “Do you have any old bread or like... carrots?”

“I always eat my bread before it goes stale,” Chris said, sounding like an old person even to his own ears, “but I think there’s still a few carrots in the drawer in the fridge?”

“Perfect,” Eijun grinned, grabbing the carrots and a cutting board. “This will do nicely until we can get him some proper food. I really didn’t feel like cooking meat this late and I don’t know if they can eat it raw.”

Chris watched him chop the carrots in stunned silence and stroked the dog’s fur absent-mindedly because he was still holding him for some reason. He still didn’t move when Eijun grabbed a bowl from one of his cabinets, scooped rice and the carrot pieces into it and put it down on the floor. Chris belatedly remembered that the dog – who was wriggling impatiently – needed to be on the floor to eat. “There you go,” he said to the puppy and put it down, where it immediately started sniffing at the food a little sceptically but eventually started eating.

Eijun watched over him with his hands on his hips like a proud parent and Chris felt like he had already lost this particular fight.

“Alright,” Eijun said once the dog had finished eating. “I think it’s bedtime.”

Chris sighed and just picked up the bowl to rinse it out in the sink, leaving the water bowl on the floor so it was easy to reach for the dog.

“Okay,” he said, “my couch can be pulled out so you could have something resembling an actual bed. And uh. I probably have a spare blanket somewhere.”

“Great,” Eijun beamed and Chris wondered how he could be so happy about this when all he felt was awkwardness and nervousness.

Eijun helped with pulling out the couch while the dog alternated between sitting next to them whining and sniffing at different corners of the living room. Then Chris went to grab some sheets and the spare blanket and after a second of consideration threw in one of his three pillows as well.

When he came back into the living room with the bundle in his arms, Eijun was kneeling on the floor taking pictures of the dog with his phone and Chris had to smile a little. Eijun was way too attached to the little creature already and it was horribly endearing.

“Do you want me to help with putting the sheet on?” he asked Eijun when he handed over the pile of bedding but Eijun shook his head.

“I’m fine, I’ve done this plenty of times.”

Chris snorted. “Not on a pull-out couch though I’d wager.”

“Nope. But how hard can it be?” Eijun shrugged and shook out the sheet.

“Okay,” Chris answered with a shrug on his own, hovering unsurely in the doorway. “Uh, have a good night then. Don't forget to take your meds. Don’t let the puppy pee on the couch.”

Eijun laughed a little. “I won’t. Sleep well, yeah?”

Chris just nodded weakly and turned around, closing the door to his bedroom after himself. It felt wrong, to separate himself like that, for some reason but he also knew he needed a little privacy and a lot of sleep.

Which was precisely what he didn’t get.

He lay awake in the darkness of his room listening to the rain hammering softly against his bedroom window, and to Eijun trying to get comfortable, the hushed tone in which he was talking to the dog – Chris couldn’t make out real words through the door but it sounded like so much warmth – and the small giggles he made.

Somehow it felt like it was all too much and just right at the same time.

***

When Chris came into his living room the next morning, still groggy from sleep and only half-remembering the events from last night he was greeted by Eijun and the puppy sitting on the floor, playing with a baseball.

“Good morning,” said Eijun, grinning up at him and the puppy bounded over to excitedly put his paws on Chris’ bare feet, trying to animate him to play, too.

Chris carefully extracted his toes from the puppy and walked over to Eijun. “Good morning,” he echoed.

“I think I wanna name him Bee,” Eijun said, unprompted, and it took Chris a second to realise he meant the dog.

“Why would you name a dog Bee?” he asked, looking from Eijun to the puppy and back again. It had no stripes, not resembling a bee in any way.

Eijun shrugged. “It’s almost like… a pun? I know a lot of people name their dogs Ace but that’s me, right? And the next letter of the alphabet is B, so…”

“Is that even a pun?” Chris wondered.

“Well, it is a play with letters and words, and also I really don’t care,” Eijun grinned. He rolled the baseball across the floor again and the puppy skittered after it.

“Wouldn’t the new owners just give him a new name?” Chris asked, knowing that picking up the conversation from yesterday again meant diving back into a battle he had been losing from the very beginning.

“I really want to keep him.”

Which, naturally, Chris had known. But still. Rationally, logically, it just wasn’t going to work out in an even remotely normal way. “And where would you keep him?” Chris asked. “Here? You do know that would be the only possibility, right? And you don’t live here, so I’d have to take care of him.”

“Please?” Eijun said, looking up at him with the biggest begging eyes Chris had ever seen on him. “I would literally take him to my dorm with me but as you pointed out so nicely that would probably get me kicked out.” Of course this had been what Eijun had been playing at the entire time.

Chris wasn’t too sure on the rules for pets on his lease either but the landlady seemed pretty nice so it was a risk he could take.

They looked at each other for a while. The puppy came over and dropped the ball at Chris feet and Chris could see how Eijun only narrowly held back a laugh.

“Fine,” he said, waving the white flag. “Fine. We’ll try it. Be happy I’m not allergic.”

Eijun jumped to his feet and flung his arms around Chris, wrapping him in a hug tighter than any close contact Chris had had in years probably. Bee whined at their feet and Eijun laughed into Chris’ neck.

They skipped class that day to go to the vet. Chris didn’t know a lot about dogs but he was sure that there were shots and vaccinations dogs needed and the thought of parasites – even just fleas – made his skin crawl.

Fortunately – and surprisingly, according to the vet – Bee was flea free and the shots were taken care of quickly.

“He’s not actually that young anymore,” the vet said, inspecting Bee’s jaw. “He has no baby teeth and he probably won’t grow much more so I’d say around five months?”

“But he’s so small,” Eijun said, astonished and Chris nodded, silently.

The vet laughed. “Some dog’s just are small. Look at his paws. They’re small too.”

“Do you know what kind of breed he is?” Chris asked, because he had been wondering all day.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” the vet said, shaking his head. “He’s so small and the ears make it look like something in the Pekingese direction but there could be some kind of Spitz breed in there. At least that’s what I’d say from the fur and head. But it could really be anything.”

Chris and Eijun looked at each other, Eijun was biting his lip and looked like he was two seconds from bursting into hysterical laughter.

“Spitz?” he managed to say and then actually started laughing, which seemed to confuse the vet immensely.

Chris took a deep breath, trying not to laugh himself. “I’m sorry, uh, that reminds him of… a friend,” he said, knowing that he sounded weird.

They were on their way not much later anyway, Eijun still giggling a little, Chris carrying the dog because they had no leash yet, having improvised a collar from a bandana Chris had found in the back of his closet.

“How would you even mix a Spitz and a Pekingese?” Eijun asked. “Don’t those usually have like, really flat faces?”

“I don’t know,” Chris shrugged. “But he looks pretty cute, so it doesn’t matter too much, right?”

Eijun gaped at him and Chris clutched Bee a little tighter. “What?”

“Did you just call him cute?” Eijun asked and Chris almost expected stars to appear in his eyes so amazed was his expression. Wide-eyed and amazed. It was unsettling.

“Yeah?” Chris asked, getting more flustered by the second. What was so wrong about that? “He is...”

“You love him!” Eijun crowed. “See, I knew you were going to fall in love with him!”

“Yeah, fine, he’s cute and you can keep him in my flat. You already knew that,” Chris huffed.

Eijun shook his head, laughing. “No no no, that’s not what you said at all. You said he’s cute and you don’t care what kind of breed he is and you love him and you wanna keep him too!”

Chris sighed. “I just paid for his vaccinations so you can bet that I’ll keep him. I own half of him now.” Eijun made a little ‘Ha!’ noise and slightly punched the air. Chris rolled his eyes affectionately. “Let’s go buy him some food. And a proper collar and leash.”

“And toys!” Eijun added.

“And toys,” Chris echoed.

The pet shop they went to was bigger than Chris had anticipated and him, Eijun and Bee were momentarily stunned by all the choices.

Then one of the poor employees took pity on them and half an hour later there was a pile of things in their cart that Chris was sure he was going to pay for, too. Mostly because he knew Eijun had only had enough money on him to get a cup of coffee earlier.

“You’re trying to ruin me,” he told Bee while Eijun was throwing another squeaky toy into the mix.

Still, they had a nice collar, two leashes and an adjustable harness, in case Bee happened to pull a lot and would end up choking himself on the collar. There was also a little selection of dog food they could choose from – which Chris thought was the most important part – some bowls, a small bed and a brush since his fur did seem to be quite thick.

When they queued up to pay for all their things, Chris had a moment of feeling very anxious and very surreal. Why had he agreed to this?

He looked at Eijun in front of him, playing with Bee’s paw, who he had set down very boldly on the conveyor belt, and knew. Because he just couldn’t resist.

With a swift motion he lifted Bee off the belt. “He’s already allowed to sleep in a bed with you. There needs to be some rules.”

Eijun laughed and stuck out his tongue at him while the belt started moving and the cashier rang up their purchases.

He was just very glad his father actually had no access to his bank account and wouldn’t get the statement of this month of Chris’ credit card spendings. That would be awkward to explain.

“We’ll have to take him to class with us. He’s not housebroken properly yet so he’ll pee everywhere,” Eijun said later, sitting on the kitchen floor, wiping up a pee puddle that was the sole reason they were having this conversation. “I mean, he’s used to that, probably.”

Chris looked at him and shook his head. “I could only take him to my lectures and maybe one of my seminars if I really have to and only because that prof just doesn’t care at all.”

“I can take him to most of my classes probably,” Eijun shrugged, getting up to throw the sponge into the sink and wash his hands.

“So we’ll just trade him off in-between, I’d say,” Chris said, “especially whenever one of us has a free period.” This meant goodbye to spontaneous – or planned, just as much – study sessions in the library, but when in need Chris would just have to leave Bee outside for a moment while he checked out some books.

“We’ll be like parents!” Eijun grinned excitedly.

Chris snorted. “Divorced parents,” he remarked drily.

“You’re no fun,” Eijun pouted but still managed to look excited by the prospect of taking the dog to class.

“That’s basically my job description, didn’t you know?” Chris said and Eijun made a dismissive hand motion.

“You don’t have a job, that doesn’t work.”

Chris didn’t feel like it would be fair to point out that Eijun didn’t have a job either. So he just looked at him to the wonderful background noise of Bee killing a squeaky otter Eijun had selected.

“I should probably sleep in my dorm tonight,” Eijun said, “otherwise I’ll have to either wear this shirt again tomorrow or your clothes. To class. And some of my classmates are very perceptive. And nosy.”

Eijun had worn his own clothes – which had thankfully dried over night – to their lengthy outing today, but Chris had to agree with him that wearing them for another day would probably not work.

“I still won’t be at training tomorrow or on Friday so I can take care of him then,” Eijun added, looking kind of guilty and Chris felt a bout of fear of what they had gotten themselves into – not for the first time that day.

So Eijun left. Once the door had closed behind him Bee looked up at Chris and started whining.

He felt like he was in for a very stressful night.

With a deep sigh he and Bee returned to the living room and Chris grabbed his phone to text Tanba.

Chris, 18:04: I think I might have adopted a dog.

***

He took Bee with him for his morning run the next day and as a result was considerably slower than usual in reaching his favourite park because Bee kept pulling in the wrong direction and sniffing at every corner.

Once they reached the park, Chris let him off the leash, rules be damned.

Which turned out to be his first mistake of probably very many to come.

One second he could see Bee, the next he had run off between two bushes and was nowhere to be found. Chris rounded the shrubbery, but there was nothing there, so he resulted to calling for the dog until he heard happy yapping in the distance.

He started running in that direction, anxious that Bee was trying to play with some innocent passerby or god forbid other joggers. But when he rounded a corner he saw a familiar form.

“He found me,” Eijun said instead of a greeting. He was wearing a horribly endearing pair of shorts and Chris was pretty sure he’d never seen as much of his legs before outside of the locker room. Until he remembered that one bath time at the training camp.

“Are you honestly stalking me?” Chris asked, incredulous and slightly out of breath, looking at Bee jumping up and down and pawing at Eijun’s knees.

Eijun laughed and bent down to pick up the dog before he could actually scratch his skin. “No, I always go for a run in the morning. You know that. We went on runs together in high school.”

“I do know that,” Chris said. “But why are you here now?”

“Well,” Eijun said, running his taped hand over Bee’s fur. “I thought I would try something else this morning.” Chris must still have looked doubtful because Eijun sighed a little. “It’s the truth! This is a coincidence. Okay, maybe I was gonna run straight to your flat to check up on you two but I honestly didn’t know this was your route.”

Chris huffed and brushed his hair out of his forehead. “Well, we’re fine, as you can see. He’s full of energy and thankfully wasn’t up all night.”

“Really?” Eijun asked, setting Bee back down after Chris had reattached the leash to his collar. “Even though you made him sleep in the new bed?”

“He loves it,” Chris nodded. “Maybe he’s used to being alone, being a stray and all? He likes curling up next to me when I read though, I think.”

Eijun looked impressed and kind of hurt at the same time. “Man, I would’ve liked to see that,” he mumbled, then something seemed to occur to him. “Hey, maybe if he’s already used to being alone we can actually do that. Leave him alone, I mean.”

Chris shook his head. “I would wait, to be honest. Until he’s used to being with us and in the apartment.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eijun said, nodding, then pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I guess I should head back, I have an early class and I definitely need to shower after this little devil got dirt all over my legs.”

“I thought he was a bee,” Chris deadpanned.

Eijun laughed at him and then jogged off. Chris somehow managed to finish his run with Bee on the leash without falling over and then returned to his flat to get ready. He didn’t have an early class, thankfully, and his first one was a lecture which meant he would be the one to take Bee into a classroom for the first time.

He hoped to god he wouldn’t pee anywhere.

Thankfully, the lecture hall was big enough for Chris to sit in the last row and have Bee curled up on his lap with only his immediate neighbours noticing – who looked completely in love with the small creature within seconds.

Still he wasn’t surprised to find a text from Eijun when he checked his phone halfway through the lecture, bored by the droning voice of the professor and the topic he might as well just read up on later to fully understand it.

Sawamura Eijun, 12:47: how’s it going?

Chris, 12:58: He hasn’t attracted the attention of the entire hall yet so we’re doing great.

He felt that as long as Bee didn’t bark – or pee anywhere – no one would even notice he was here. But Chris guessed as long as he was sitting on his lap they’d definitely be safe from the latter.

They managed to make it through the entire class without an incident but Chris was still relieved to hand the dog off to Eijun afterwards. This was quickly shaping up to be a lot more anxiety inducing than he had originally anticipated.

He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though because he only had ten minutes until his next class and when he slid into his seat in the seminar room he barely had time to check his phone again to discover that Tanba had answered his text from the night before.

Tanba, 13:34: what? how?! you're not even a dog person...

Chris frowned a little.

Chris, 13:58: What in the world is a dog person? Eijun found him and I'm kind of... harbouring him in my flat.

He only saw the answer buzz in the minute the teacher entered the room and the glimpse he got made him want to put down his head on his table and never lift it up again.

Tanba, 14:01: Eijun or the dog?

Practice that day felt incredibly freeing. Chris had never felt better about taking a bat into his hand and with Yuki to his left and Todoroki to his right he had two powerhouses hitting right next to him and firing him up even more.

“Damn, you're energetic today,” Nakai commented, who for some reason had decided that standing behind Chris and monitoring his hits was the best thing to do today, with his hand shielding his eyes against the sun.

“I try,” Chris shrugged, seeing the corner of Yuki's mouth quirk up as he swung his bat around and connected with the next ball, sending it flying even farther than Chris' before it.

“How are you doing that?” Nakai gaped and Chris rolled his eyes.

Todoroki next to him laughed wildly as he hit and hit and hit. “By practising instead of yapping,” he yelled and Chris could hear quiet laughter from Kominato from Todoroki's other side.

“He's right,” Chris and Yuki said at the same time and Nakai sniffed in mock-indignation.

“I guess then I'll do that. Since I'm on the team and all,” he said, shouldering his bat and retreating. Chris let his bat connect with the next ball and tried to focus on the way the impact felt in his hands, his wrists, his elbow.

This was what he had been born to do. Sometimes he was almost keen to forget.

What was even better was how good he felt about the team. They were strong. Hiroto had gotten better, too, so he had high hopes. Only Eijun was missing to make it perfect.

***

Eijun spent that Thursday night at Chris' place again, gearing himself up for his doctor's appointment the next day. He had reported multiple times that his hand didn't hurt anymore but Chris still saw him instinctively avoiding it sometimes.

They somehow wound up watching 22 Jump Street because Chris had seen it in the US earlier that spring and thought that Eijun would probably find it hilarious.

“You know, it’s kind of lonely,” Eijun said, munching on the popcorn they had made earlier, his legs sprawled over Chris’ lap with the dog lying on top of them in a position Chris couldn't fathom to be comfortable.

Chris looked away from the TV to meet Eijun’s eyes. “What is?”

“Being alone in a dorm room,” Eijun said and shrugged. “Like, coming to an empty room every day after sharing one at school with two people for three years. It’s weird.”

“You could have shared a room here with someone too,” Chris said, knowing full well that Eijun was aware of that option.

“I wanted to share with Harucchi,” Eijun said, petting the puppy absent-mindedly, “but after we broke up we thought it would be better if we didn’t. He needs his own space, I think.”

Chris had the irrational urge to ask Eijun to move in with him.

Somehow it already felt like they were dating. They had basically adopted a dog together and Eijun spent half the time he wasn’t in class at Chris’ flat. On the other hand he hadn't mentioned their kiss since that one text and it kind of fucked with Chris' head. It was as if it had never happened.

“That was probably the better choice,” he mumbled.

“And like, when my room is clean it feels even bigger,” Eijun continued, gesturing slightly.

“It's tiny though,” Chris said. Really, the dorm rooms were just the right size for a single person. Chris couldn't imagine living in one without keeping it clean to avoid feeling caged in.

“Yeah but like... it feels bigger. Emotional size.” Bee nudged Eijun's hand and Eijun laughed a little, running his hand over his fur again. “I'm so used to bouncing my ideas off someone, you know? I keep saying something and looking up to expect someone to be there but there is no one. It's weird.”

“Wow,” Chris said.

Eijun shrugged. “Yeah, but I'm making it work, I guess. Now I just talk to myself. Which I guess is okay, hearing my own words made me almost figure out that poetry assignment.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Almost?”

Eijun stared at him, almost as if he had just realised what he had actually said. “Uh,” he made, “yeah... I'm not... quite done yet. It's a little messy and I uh... need to make up my mind on a few... passages.”

Chris refrained from offering him help again. Eijun would just reject it like he had before and stumble over his words even more.

“But you know... it's... whatever.” A slight blush had crept onto Eijun's cheeks and he looked away, staring at the TV intently.

Chris got the slight suspicion that Eijun’s poetry homework had something to do with him.

Before Eijun went home that night they still had to discuss the matter of who would take care of Bee while he went to the doctor the next day since Chris would have to be at practice.

“I can just take him with me,” he shrugged.

Eijun shook his head vehemently. “No, I want to show him to the team together when I can come again. Otherwise it's no fun!”

Chris blinked, a little dumbstruck by the answer. “Okay,” he said. “Then, uh...” He couldn't think of another option though, which meant either Eijun would have to take Bee to the doctor with him or the practice choice after all.

“Oh!” Eijun made. “I could ask your neighbour if she has time to watch him for an hour or two!”

“My neighbour?” Chris asked, wondering if Eijun had even ever met her.

Eijun nodded. “Yeah, I met her earlier while walking him and she loves him – I can't blame her, everyone does, right? And she said how much she missed her dog at home so I bet she'd be the ideal choice for dogsitting.”

Chris head was still reeling from the news that Eijun had met his neighbor; a third year Tech student called Sayuri, so that it took him a moment to process the rest of his words. What must she be thinking of him and Eijun? He frowned slightly.

“I don't know if I want to impose on her like that,” he said.

Eijun rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, I bet she's borrowed like... sugar from you before.”

Actually it had been flour for a birthday cake for a friend she had been baking, as Chris remembered, but he wasn't about to tell Eijun that. So he just sighed. “Fine, okay. But you have to go and ask her.”

“Alright, you big baby,” Eijun grinned, already on the way to put on his shoes. “She'll be babysitting our kid, I promise you.”

Chris wished he wouldn't phrase it like that but before he could protest Eijun was out the door, leaving it ajar so Chris could hear him knocking at the door two doors down. Sadly he couldn't make out their voices but both of them sounded extremely excited. Once again Chris was somehow feeling jealous of Eijun's ability to easily get along with anyone, making friends in a flash wherever he went.

Two minutes later Eijun returned, grinning brightly. “She'll watch him,” he confirmed.

“Oh, good,” Chris said.

“I'm clearly magic and a very responsible parent,” Eijun said. “But mostly magic.”

“I couldn't agree more,” Chris mumbled and Eijun laughed loudly.

So Friday started with Eijun taking Bee to most of his classes, only handing him over for Chris to watch during his one free period which he spent sitting on campus throwing sticks short distances and watching Bee almost tumble over with joy every time.

Several people – people he knew – stopped to ask him about the dog and every time he said that it “belonged to a friend”, too embarrassed to tell them that he had been roped into raising a puppy with the guy he was in love with.

He didn't realise until later that this had been the first time he had thought of Eijun like that. And over a dog of all things.

He was surprised no one from the team had seen him or Eijun with the dog yet – except Kominato, of course, but he was good at keeping quiet, most likely at Eijun's insistence – but then again all of them lead busy lives. And maybe Chris had also avoided telling anyone but Tanba because it would just spread to everyone from the old Seidou team.

When he gave Bee back to Eijun – who in turn would drop him off at Chris' neighbour’s flat – he felt like they were playing a very elaborate game of tag. It was still mildly stressful but Eijun seemed to think it was funny and every time Chris saw him greet Bee with the enthusiasm of just having won the lottery he had to smile, too.

For some reason practice seemed to drag on forever that day. Chris had a million things going through his head, how Bee was getting on with his neighbour, how Eijun was faring with his doctor's appointment, if he would be able to return to practice, if he would be able to play in the first game the week after.

Yuki noticed, of course, but seemed to take pity on him and didn't say anything and since Friday practice was usually the most relaxed apparently barely anyone else thought it worth mentioning either.

So Chris somehow made it to the end of training with only Nakai clapping him on the shoulder with a “Just focus better during the game next week, yeah?” and once in the locker rooms he dug his phone out of his bag to check for any news.

Eijun had texted him three times.

Sawamura Eijun, 16:27: I CAN PLAY AGAIN!!!!!!

Sawamura Eijun, 16:27: i'm coming over RIGHT NOW

Sawamura Eijun, 16:27: i know practice is already over, friday is always the short day

Friday was mostly “the short day” because the less diligent players liked to skip or leave early, sometimes people went home over the weekend despite the frequent practice times on Saturday and Sunday.

Chris shook his head slightly, biting his lip to keep himself from smiling too hard.

Chris, 16:51: Calm down, please, I'm not even changed yet...

“Good news?” Yuki asked him, slightly elbowing him in the side. Chris turned his head to answer but Kominato on the other side of the bench – who was also checking his phone – was faster.

“Yeah, Eijun can join training again,” he said and there was some excited voices around the room, the entire team already having become kind of endeared by Eijun.

“Why are you two always the first ones to know anything about him?” Nakai said, struggling to put his shirt over his head.

“Because we're his best friends,” Kominato stated matter of factly and when Chris looked at him he was smiling back at him. He was glad Eijun had texted them both.

His phone vibrated in his hand and he quickly checked it before getting on the task of getting changed out of his training gear.

Sawamura Eijun, 16:52: no problem i'm hanging out with sayu and bee rn :D

When had Eijun even gotten to know his neighbour well enough to give her a nickname? Chris stuffed his phone back into his bag in confusion, kicking his shoes off in the next motion. Honestly, Eijun's way of getting to know everyone very quickly and having a nickname – although the flattery of it sometimes was a little elusive – was mind-boggling. But questioning it would lead nowhere.

He got ready in record time and then hesitated for a second before walking over to Kominato.

“I'm going to head out and pick up Eijun,” he said, leaving out the details as to not tip off the rest of the team, “do you want to come with me?”

Kominato stopped in confusion. “Umm, yeah,” he said, “sure. That'd be cool.”

So they left together, Chris waiting before they were well away from the locker rooms and prying ears until he asked if Kominato knew about Eijun having gone to see Bee at Sayuri's place.

“Yeah, he doesn't shut up about the dog,” Kominato shrugged. “But he's happy, so...”

When they arrived at Chris' apartment complex and rang the doorbell at Sayuri's flat, Eijun tore open the door only three seconds later, jumping at them excitedly.

“Oh my god you both came!” he yelled, pulling them inside while Bee jumped up at them excitedly, attempting to lick Chris' hands.

Chris picked him up to avoid him getting stepped on in his excitement and spotted Sayuri sitting in the middle of her living room surrounded by four of Bee's toys, looking at them with an amused expression.

“Hey, good afternoon, sorry for dropping both of you on them,” Chris greeted her. “Has he been like this ever since he came back?”

She laughed. “No problem, it's been fun. Bee is a darling and Eijun is basically just an overexcited puppy.”

Kominato laughed a little and Chris was pretty sure this was the most accurate description anyone had ever given of Eijun.

“Hey!,” Eijun pouted, “I have a good reason to be excited! I can start training again on Monday. I wanted to do it tomorrow but he said I should still take it easy over the weekend.”

Chris was sure this was a good idea, based on Eijun's boundless energy and excited nature. Another day of rest couldn't hurt.

“We don't even have practice on Sunday,” Kominato said softly.

“Yes but tomorrow,” Eijun whined, eliciting laughs from Chris and Sayuri.

“It's just one more day,” Chris said, trying to sound soothing but knowing that he was failing. He knew Eijun was impatient to get back to training, burning to prove himself before the team for the game was decided. Being a relief pitcher for so long had made him a little more humble – at least in Chris' eyes – but Chris could still see the fire in his eyes every time he talked about being the Ace of the team, about starting in a game, about not up giving any runs and having the entire team behind him.

“Everyone is waiting for you,” Kominato added, in a voice that Chris knew he reserved for Eijun. He averted his eyes.

“I'll take them off your hands now,” he said to Sayuri who had gotten up and gathered all of Bee's toys. “Thank you again for watching Bee.”

“Sure,” she said, handing over the squeaky otter to Eijun, “and feel free to recruit me for dogsitting purposes again, it was really no bother.”

Chris took Bee's paw in his hand and pretended the dog was the one waving to Sayuri – which made everyone laugh – and then they left. Chris really hoped they hadn't kept Sayuri from anything important but his worries were soon pushed aside by Eijun's happy rambling.

“I'm so pumped to come back to training,” he said, his arms excitedly waving through the air – only hindered a little by the bag of dog things he was carrying. “I hope I didn't miss too much.”

Chris and Kominato shook their heads. “Only one fielding practice,” Chris said. “I'd liked to have seen you at the batting exercise though, I haven't actually seen you swing and hit a ball yet.”

Eijun huffed. “I'm sorry I'm only good at bunting,” he said. “It's saved our asses before.”

“Still, you can't always bunt,” Chris pointed out and Eijun sighed.

“He can actually hit if he doesn't get too excited,” Kominato mentioned. “But that's not very often. Still, more often than it used to be...”

“I'm a pitcher for a reason,” Eijun grumbled and Chris decided to let him live in that belief for a little longer.

He put down Bee to unlock the door to his own apartment and turned to Kominato for a minute. “Do you want to come in for some tea?”

The younger boy got that surprised expression again, as if he didn't believe Chris could actually like him, but he nodded anyway. “Sure.”

Eijun clapped his hands. “Then I can prove to you that I taught Bee how to sit already!”

Chris smiled to himself and let all three of them – two boys and a dog – into his flat before him. His life hadn't been this busy since he had graduated two years ago and he felt a little nostalgic, like this was a déjà vu, as if he would step back into his old room at Seido in just a second.

It felt like something was clicking back into place that had been out of alignment for a while.

***

On Saturday morning Chris dropped Bee off with Eijun on his way to training. Eijun said he was just going to spend the time at a café to see if a change of scenery was going to help him finally finish his poetry project. Chris wasn't sure if he could trust him not to actually end up smuggling Bee into his dorm room with him but leaving the two alone together – especially with how nice the weather was and how much Eijun liked being around stranger – for a few hours seemed reasonable enough.

The hug Chris received before he left, full of relief and happiness, made his heart rise. Eijun seemed to be in high spirits so hopefully that would carry both of them through the weekend.

It was just a little over a day before Eijun would return to training. Just a little over a day before they would be a battery again.

Just before he got to the training grounds Chris got a text from Tanba – with whom he had been writing on and off in the last few days, whenever one of them had found a minute to reply.

Tanba Koichiro, 9:43: I swear your life is more interesting than mine right and I'm the pro athlete

Tanba Koichiro, 9:43: I'm kind of jealous

Chris greeted Yuki and Kominato in the locker rooms, everyone else not there yet or out on the field already – which he suspected was where Todoroki had already run off to by the looks of his shoes, haphazardly stuffed under the bench.

“So Sawamura's coming back to training on Monday,” Yuki said and Chris wasn't entirely sure if it was a question or a statement but he nodded nonetheless. “You must be excited.”

Chris looked up from where he had been typing an answer to Tanba. “I guess I am, yeah,” he smiled.

Chris, 9:46: It's kind of fun, actually. You should visit sometime. My team would probably explode.

Kominato laughed slightly and Yuki looked from him to Chris and back. “Wow, all three of you are in disgustingly good mood. It's nice.”

“Thanks?” Chris mumbled, looking at Yuki in confusion. What was that supposed to mean?

But Yuki didn't explain and just grinned at him, exiting the locker room to head out to the field. Chris looked at Kominato and then they both shrugged in a comical show of the same thought.

Chris felt a lot lighter in practice that day, much less weighed down by his worries, like it had been attached to his limbs like lead the day before and now he had been freed.

“I hope you're more consistent when he can actually play again,” Yuki said to him in passing at some point and Chris stared at him for a second, feeling his ears heat up. “Aquire some professionalism, please.” It was a joke, he knew, but it still made his hands shake a little – the realisation that his mood depended on Eijun was slightly overwhelming.

“I'll figure it out,” he said and Yuki laughed.

“I know you will. You always do.”

***

His doorbell rung at precisely 7:32am. Chris had had a late night finishing up on a project he had been procrastinating on the last few days and had ended up forgetting the time. He had for once planned on sleeping in a little, but of course someone had to persistently, annoyingly keep holding their finger on his doorbell which in turn made Bee bark in response out in the living room.

Chris groaned and gave up on his attempts to press his pillow over his head to drown out the noise, flung his blanket aside and shuffled out of his bedroom and towards the front door to send the unwanted visitor away so the goddamn ringing would stop.

But when he flung the door open – with less vigor than he would have liked – Eijun was standing in front of him, proudly holding up two paper bags.

“Breakfast!” he declared with a grin. Bee yowled happily.

Chris eyed the paper bags, that bore the logo of his favourite bakery, suspiciously. “That better be a chocolate croissant because otherwise I'll just throw Bee at you and go back to sleep.”

“Yep, it is. Two of them, actually,” Eijun nodded and Chris groaned.

“Fine,” he said, stepping aside so Eijun could come in but Eijun shook his head.

“No, you just take these into the kitchen and I'll take this little rascal out for his first walk so you can like... shower or whatever you do in the morning,” he said, making a vague hand motion.

Chris shrugged. Fine then, at least that would give him an opportunity to wake up first and maybe get rid of some of the study materials that were still lying spread out all over the desk and coffee table. He took the paper bags filled with deliciousness from Eijun and went to put them in the kitchen.

“Take this, so you don't wake up all the neighbours with the doorbell next time,” he said with a defeated sigh when he returned and handed Eijun his spare key along with Bee's leash.

Eijun's eyes grew wide. “Oh”, he mumbled, somehow awestruck. “Okay.”

Chris decided to think about that reaction later and closed the door behind them after Eijun had stuffed the key into his pocket. Then he shuffled into the bathroom to take a shower and wake up, clear his head and hopefully not dwell too much on the fact that Eijun had seen him right after waking up once again.

Once he got out of the shower he dressed hurriedly and then cleaned up the mess in the living room quickly. It couldn't be good to leave it all out like that for Bee to possibly chew on anyway. Medical papers weren't dog food, no matter how much the puppy wanted to try them.

Suddenly Chris had to imagine Bee in Eijun's bomb site of a dorm room, chewing on lost socks and tearing up precious homework and he had to laugh. It was definitely better for him to live here, where he had a little more space to wander around and less opportunity to destroy things, because Chris was definitely better at leaving nothing out that Bee could accidentally chew on.

He put his school work in a neat pile on his living room desk – where Bee definitely wouldn't reach them – and was just back in the kitchen, turning on the coffee machine, when he heard the key in the lock.

“Welcome back,” he called out to Eijun when he heard Bee's tags jingling in the entryway and the sound of Eijun toeing off his shoes. Once again it hit him how terribly domestic this was. How familiar. How safe it felt.

“I think I'm getting him close to actually listening when I call him,” Eijun said instead of a greeting, walking into the kitchen with Bee close on his heels. “Ohhh, you're making coffee?”

“You can put out plates and mugs if you want to,” Chris said, pointing to the right cabinet, but Eijun knew where everything was – probably since his second visit – and had already opened it.

When they sat down at the table five minutes later with the freshly brewed coffee, Chris' chocolate croissants and Eijun's weird egg sandwiches – Chris had no idea how Eijun could eat those first thing in the morning but then again people had called his breakfast habits weird too in the past – Bee was already munching on his own breakfast.

“So,” Chris said, “what are you doing here?”

“Can't I have breakfast with you?” Eijun asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just wanted to do something nice. You are harbouring a dog I found after all, and basically bought all of his stuff.”

Chris shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “I still feel like you have an ulterior motive.”

“You wound me,” Eijun sighed, holding a hand to his heart but a grin on his face.

“Spit it out,” Chris said.

Eijun took an extra large bite of his sandwich, looking at Chris with what he probably deemed his most innocent eyes and made him wait for the reply.

Chris bit into his chocolate croissant. He could play the same game. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day after all and he wouldn't miss out on it for mind games.

Finally Eijun swallowed. “Well,” he said, “you know how the weather is really nice? And Bee loves playing with your baseballs? And I love throwing baseballs? And how I can't wait for training?”

“Ah,” Chris made, “now we're getting there.”

“Let's go to the park? Please? Just to play a little catch,” Eijun said.

Chris couldn't say no. There was no reason to and anyway, he would have had no idea how to do it.

“Sure,” he said, “but only if you have no important homework to do.”

“God, sometimes I forget how responsible you are,” Eijun snorted. “I only have one paper to finish until tomorrow but I can do that tonight. Just editing, I swear.”

So Chris agreed. Even just catching some high balls made to make the dog run sounded like heaven if it would make Eijun happy.

They went right after breakfast, Eijun bouncing ahead like a five-year-old with Bee on the leash, Chris following him. The sun was still low enough to hit his face in just the right angle to make him squint and illuminate Eijun in a way that almost made it seem like he was on fire. Not glowing, never glowing, because that just wasn't the kind of aura he had. He was a firestorm and Chris was consumed by his warmth.

The park was fairly empty for a Sunday morning and Eijun almost immediately let Bee off the leash, keeping her attentive with the ball in his hand until he threw it to Chris who caught it easily.

They continued this game until they came to one of the more open meadows, so Eijun broke into a run, Bee dashing after him until Eijun threw the ball back to Chris from mid-run, confusing the dog who almost made a somersault in how quickly he tried to stop and turn. Eijun doubled over in laughter and Chris let the ball fly into the air a few times until Eijun had caught himself.

The next time he threw he aimed deliberately low so Bee could catch the ball, otherwise he would probably get sick of the game soon and try to hunt pigeons instead.

At some point Eijun collapsed into the grass, arms splayed wide, a wide smile on his face and Bee jumped onto his chest, making Eijun gasp. Chris jogged over but Eijun had already set Bee down so he could get air again.

“Beat already?” Chris asked, standing over Eijun with his hands on his hips and felt reminded of the end of the forest run at the training camp.

Eijun looked up at him and bit his lip. “I'm just taking a break,” he said.

“Sure,” Chris said, sitting down next to him. “Breaks are important.”

And then Eijun put his head on Chris thighs, blinking up at his face with a slight grin. “You're an excellent pillow.”

“I'm glad,” Chris said softly.

They sat like this for a while and Chris could have sworn Eijun dozed off for a few minutes while Chris picked some daisies and delicately put them in the hair over Eijun's ears. At least he didn't notice.

When Eijun got up later the daisies fell out of his hair way too easily. Chris tried not to watch them float to the ground.

“Hey, you're reading this?”

Chris looked up from the tofu stew he was throwing together, since they had both been hungry after coming home from the park, to see Eijun holding Bee in one hand and Chris' copy of The Lake in the other. Chris had bought the book the day of Eijun's first visit to the orthopaedist, remembering it to be one of the books Eijun had read for class.

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging, and eyed Bee in Eijun's grasp for a second. “Stop holding the dog with your left hand, you just got okayed for practice again.”

“You don't have to be so overprotective,” Eijun said, shaking his head, but he still put Bee down on the kitchen floor. “It doesn't hurt at all.”

“Still, he's too heavy to hold with one hand,” Chris said. Honestly, it couldn't be good for neither Eijun nor the dog.

“I've carried heavier shopping bags,” Eijun said drily.

Chris laughed and shrugged. “I believe that.” He flicked some onions into the stew. “Why were you in my bedroom anyway?” The book had been lying on his bedside table, the bookmark fifty pages or so from the end.

Eijun hopped up on one of the chairs, animating Bee to jump on his lap. “Bee went into it and I know you don't like him wandering around in there so I had to retrieve him.”

“Thanks,” Chris mumbled.

“Didn't I offer to lend you to this?” Eijun wanted to know, frowning slightly at the book.

Chris shrugged. “I wanted to know what happens,” he said. 'I wanted to know what you've been reading', he added in his head. “And I like underlining things in books sometimes, so I thought getting my own copy was a better idea.”

“And?” Eijun tilted his head a little. “What do you think?”

“It's very calm,” Chris said. “The content could be so turbulent but it's like. The eye of a storm. She writes it so nicely, I'm really impressed.”

Eijun nodded, grabbing the book to open it at the bookmark. “You still have the heaviest part to read,” he said after a moment.

“Ah, I figured,” Chris said.

Eijun ran his hand over Bee's back for a moment, seeming to contemplate something before raising his eyes to Chris again. “What do you think of her portrayal of sexuality?” he asked.

Chris raised his eyebrows. “Well, Nakajima has clearly had some trauma in his past. It's realistic.” He thought about it for a second. “In the beginning I thought she was confusing asexuality with something else, but it's from Chihiro's perspective, so who knows what Nakajima's sexuality actually is.”

“Hmm, yeah,” Eijun nodded. “I thought the same. That was the only thing that bothered me a little sometimes. How feelings that should have been intense, the love, you know. How little it was. But maybe that was also Chihiro holding back.”

Chris felt like they weren't even talking about the book's protagonists here and turned back to the stove. “I think it was all there, just very subtly,” he said, looking at the pot instead of Eijun. “But I've never been one for big declarations of love in fiction. She fell for him very slowly, and that was okay.”

At least it hadn't been confusing for her, just gradual. Like wading into a lake. The mental image almost made Chris grin. The book was named like that for a reason. It was calm and deep and sometimes a little cold.

“Why did you want my opinion?” Chris asked. “You discussed this in class, right?”

“Sure,” Eijun shrugged, “but I've always liked talking about things with you best.”

His frankness didn't surprise Chris but his words still gripped at his chest, causing him to take a deep breath to get rid of the tightness. Of course. Of course he did.

He turned around slowly from where he had been stirring in the pot and looked at Eijun.

“I... Can we not do this?” he asked, his voice shakier and less sure than he would have liked.

“Do what?”

“This entire dance. We did all of this in high school already,” Chris said.

“You were the one who kissed me after asking about me dating Harucchi,” Eijun said. “Did you think that was gonna go well?”

Chris shook his head. “No, I know I fucked up there. I'm just...” He made a vague shrugging motion. He didn't even know what he was trying to say. He just knew that he couldn't keep doing this back and forth motion of avoiding a topic they both had to be thinking about. “I know you need time, I know. But I just... I thought you were going to keep away from me or... I don't know. But instead you pick up a dog and bring it into my home and...” He took a deep breath, shook his head and put a hand on the back of his neck, looking at Eijun in desperation. “What is this? What are we?”

Eijun stared back and he looked so unhappy that for a moment Chris wished he hadn't said anything.

“I don't know,” Eijun whispered, lowering his head. “I'm... I don't know, I'm sorry.” He hugged Bee to his chest and started to slide off the chair and Chris was scared he was about to leave.

“Okay,” he said, back-pedalling quickly. “Wait. I'm. I get it. Believe me, I get it because this is what I... I understand. So uh, how about this: Let's just focus on the game, okay? We'll figure out everything else later.”

Eijun nodded, barely noticeable. “Okay,” he said. “The game.” Bee wriggled around in his arms to lick at his face and the corners of Eijun's mouth turned up a little again. “I can do that.”

“I'm not giving you an ultimatum,” Chris clarified quickly. “I wouldn't do that.”

“I know,” Eijun said, a little stronger than before. “But I'll still try to figure it out until then.”

Why did he always have to see everything as a challenge?

Chris watched him put down Bee and leave anyway, before lunch was ready, before he could apologize again. And again he felt like he had broken something.

Why was this so hard?

***

They got Sayuri to watch Bee again the following day during training because Chris wanted no distractions during their first practice back together – especially with how the day had gone yesterday. Still he had asked Sayuri at least twice if she really had no afternoon classes on Mondays and even after she had denied he had felt a little guilty about leaving Bee with her again.

Eijun's happiness to be back at training seemed to overpower his initial awkwardness with Chris, thankfully, and when they walked out onto the field he gripped Chris' arm, squeezing it in excitement.

He had been welcomed back warmly – and with a lot of enthusiasm on Todoroki's and Nakai's part – by the team and the coach had designated both Chris and Eijun to pitching practice after their warm-up.

Chris made sure Eijun did all the stretching properly and Eijun only started slapping his hands away after around ten minutes which was probably a new record.

So they got into the bullpen and Chris could almost see Eijun vibrate with excitement.

“Hit me,” Chris said, getting in position and he meant it. He wanted Eijun to put everything into this, put all his focus into what he had been lacking for over a week.

His throws were accurate. Dead accurate and probably lethal for any batter who thought he could get a run out of this.

A small group of way too nosy field players and batters had gathered and Nakai whistled through his teeth. “Damn. Are you sure you only just got back from injury?”

“I don't feel like it, to be honest,” Eijun grinned, taking his cap off to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

He was doing extremely well, Chris could tell that just as well as the others. But Eijun's stamina had suffered a little and Chris knew everyone could see it, although Eijun didn't want to admit it. A week of resting your hand was a week off, no matter how much running you did.

“You'll be back on track like this in no time,” Chris said.

It wouldn't guarantee Eijun a starting position in the first game of the season but it would give them a bigger chance at a win, that was for sure.

***

Eijun handed his poetry project in the next day and Chris met him with Bee later on the way to training.

“They're gonna freak,” Eijun grinned, rubbing his hands together. “I can't wait to see their faces!”

They had gone deliberately early so they would be alone in the locker room and the first on the field to have the surprise outside. People might object to having Bee in the locker room anyway since not everyone liked breathing in sweaty air laced with dog hair.

Chris felt a little awkward, trying not to look at Eijun to much. Maybe being alone in the locker room together had been a mistake but he couldn't change it anymore so he tried to focus on Bee instead under the pretense of paying attention that he didn't pee anywhere in excitement, even though he hadn't done that in days now.

Eijun carried the dog out to the field ten minutes later despite Chris saying that Bee could walk by himself just fine. His dark fur was a stark contrast against Eijun's baseball uniform and Bee sniffed at it curiously, never having seen Eijun in these clothes.

Chris walked next to them feeling like this picture was the kind of thing he could write poems about.

Yuki, Nakai, Kominato and Todoroki were the first ones to arrive after them and Eijun didn't even try to hide the dog while Chris nervously shifted his weight beside him from one foot to the other.

“You have a dog?!” Todoroki exclaimed, his eyes wide and hands already outstretched before he looked at Chris and stopped himself. “Uh, can I pet him?”

“Sure,” Eijun said, holding Bee out a little who was looking from one person to the next excitedly. Chris just hoped it wouldn't get too much for him.

“Who adopts a dog in his first year of university? That's literally the worst time!” Nakai said, shaking his head.

“Second year,” Chris mumbled, but thankfully Nakai seemed to focus on Eijun with Yuki just staring in disbelief.

“How long have you had him?” Todoroki wanted to know.

“Not even a week,” Eijun grinned. “I found him and he was just too cute to let him rot in a shelter. We couldn't resist.”

His casual 'we' made everyone look from Eijun to Chris in a way that kind of made them look like owls. Chris had to swallow a giggle that would have sounded hysterical.

“Wait, we?” Yuki echoed. “Are you telling me he belongs to both of you?”

Eijun frowned. “Of course. He lives in Chris' apartment.”

Now Yuki's jaw dropped. He looked at Chris like he couldn't quite remember who he was. Chris had to agree that it was quite out of character for him but honestly, he'd done worse things in his life than adopting a dog.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Nakai said, shaking his head, while Todoroki laughed loudly.

“This is amazing!” he said. “You disappear on us for a week and come back from your injury break with a dog you co-parent with Chris-senpai.”

Chris would have protested but it was the truth. He just kept looking at Yuki instead and tried to communicate that he hadn't had a choice.

“Well,” Yuki said, clearing his throat. “If we'll have an audience for practice today everyone will just have to do their best.”

Chris exhaled in relief. Humour was a good sign.

Then he saw the coach approaching and had a moment of panic but then remembered that the man had two dogs himself. Maybe he would be okay with Bee being there.

“Oh, what's this?” he asked when he reached them, his eyes almost immediately falling to Bee. “Do we have a guest today?”

“Yes, sir!” Eijun said, his snapping to attention looking as comical as ever.

“Yours?” the coach asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Mostly mine, I'd say,” Chris said, partially to save Eijun from a possible disaster but mostly to fuck with him. He had earned the little quip.

Eijun gaped at him. “What... I can't believe you.”

Kominato laughed. “I can, though.”

Bee was allowed to watch practice from the coach's arms, or – if he needed them – from next to his feet and he only tried running after the balls the first few times.

And everyone somehow did seem to have been motivated by Yuki's words about an audience. Which seemed ironic to Chris. It was a dog. Just a dog.

But then again Bee had quickly become the little whirlwind to Eijun's storm.

***

The day before the game brought the decision that Hiroto would start and Eijun would be the relief – but still keep the Ace number the coach had rewarded him three days before after their last fielding practice.

They all knew Hiroto didn't have the mindset to not lose his head once he made a mistake.

That was how the game started with him giving up four runs over four innings.

Chris caught himself thinking that it definitely could have been worse. Eijun was switched in in the fifth inning and having him on the mound was reassuring, despite his yelling. It was something Chris had been waiting for.

They worked hard at catching up, but they still ended up at the bottom of the ninth with the game at 4-3 and Chris up to bat, his heart beating fast but steady in his chest and his grip secure around the bat. Kominato had made it onto second base before him but Chris still knew that they had to give everything here or possibly lose in extra innings.

The moment he connected with the ball he knew it would go far, far over the outfield.

He hit a home run.

His first in university, his first in over four years.

It felt like he was flying, his legs carrying him through the diamond faster than they had to with the ball beyond the grasp of any of the fielders but he couldn’t make himself slow down, his feet pounding on the dust until he could see the dugout again, the entire team cheering and Eijun with both fists raised. Eijun who had kept the rival team at bay in the top of the inning with a brilliant change-up. Eijun and Chris and Kominato who had won them this game.

When he crossed home, Eijun was on Chris in a flash, jumping into his arms and making Chris stagger back a little from the momentum but they were both laughing, Eijun wrapping his legs around Chris and grabbing his shoulders tightly.

“We did it!” Eijun screamed into Chris ear and Chris couldn’t bring himself to care, couldn’t even flinch. He was still laughing, adrenaline from his run pulsing through his veins and Eijun’s face so close to his making his ears heat up.

“Go out with me?” he blurted out, unplanned, but unable to hold it back in his discomposure.

Eijun pulled back a little but he was still grinning.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yes. Yes, I'll be your boyfriend.”

And Chris felt like he was being swept away all over again, like he could win this game all over again for the rest of his life.

The game wasn't over yet but the umpire had only looked at their antics with mild amusement. Chris was glad he hadn't interfered.

Todoroki almost managed to score them another run afterwards but the ball landed directly in the hand of an outfielder, giving them the final out they would have needed two runs ago.

The atmosphere in the locker room was ecstatic. Even Hiroto looked a little cheerier than when he had walked off the mound and Eijun promised him to teach him “how to get less thinky with his head” in his most assured voice which made everyone in the vicinity laugh.

And Chris just stood there, halfway in getting changed, and stared at Eijun. At his boyfriend.

Kominato walked past him, smirking a little and slightly nudged his foot. “Wipe the dopey smile off your face or the entire room will know in a second,” he said. “I'm happy you two figured it out though.”

Chris blinked slowly and tried to school his face into a more collected expression. That kid was just too smart for his own good. Or anyone's, really.

He couldn't catch Eijun alone until they walked out to the bus that would bring them back to their own University. He grabbed Eijun's sleeve before he could get through the door and pulled him around the corner into a different corridor.

“I've been waiting,” he said, slightly out of breath, not even sure what he had been waiting for. “You were amazing today.”

Eijun laughed, his eyes shining even in the dimness of the hall. “Me? You were the one who hit a home run!”

“I don't even know how I did it,” Chris laughed.

“I was sending you all the energy I had,” Eijun said, stepping a little closer. “I just really wanted you to score.”

Chris released a shuddering breath. “It worked,” he said.

“Yeah,” Eijun breathed.

“Can I kiss you?” Chris asked, nervous energy making his hands feel lighter than they were.

“You learn quickly,” Eijun laughed, his face too close to Chris' once again. “Yes. Yes, you may.”

So he crashed their lips together a little too quickly, a little too forcefully – but Eijun didn't seem to mind. Chris felt engulfed immediately. Like he had just entered the eye of the storm himself. He could feel Eijun smiling against his lips and he had to smile too, his heart hammering in his chest like it wanted to break his ribcage.

When they separated they didn't do so suddenly but rather rested their foreheads together, breathing the same air, still smiling.

And then they walked to the bus together. Like a partnership should. Like a battery should.