Work Text:
It is fine while they are at the hospital. Izuku asked to be put in the same room as Katsuki and the steading beep of the heart monitor is almost enough to make him forget the images he was forced to see upon arriving at the scene.
Almost.
While they're awake, healing and talking and joking, he forces his mind to stay in the present, listening to the rough tone of Katsuki's voice as he speaks to him. When that isn't enough, he pinches his arm so the pain would remind him he is awake, this isn't a dream, and Kacchan is right there with him, ranting about how bad the hospital food is.
But at night, the images would come. The blood coming out of his mouth in the shape of fireworks, the stain on his uniform right on his chest, the lack of life in his opened eyes. He remembers how the blood flowed into his right eye but provoked no reaction. It didn't blink, it didn't move, it didn't even water down. He just laid there, lifeless. And then Izuku's mind would cloud, as he felt the air escape him and his heart stop just the same.
And that's when he usually wakes up. Gasping for air, clutching at his chest, blinking the tears away.
But then he hears it. The beep. And he looks at his side and Kacchan's there, chest rising and falling. Alive.
He gets out of bed limping and has to lean on the nightstand between their beds so he doesn't fall. He grabs the plastic stand that stays under the bed and sits on it, carefully touching Kacchan's hand, and stroking his fingers on its back, while he lets his head rest on his arms. He closes his eyes and listens. Izuku is always so focused on the sound that he always fails to notice Katsuki opening his eyes and staring down at him, holding back the urge to touch his hair, or turn his hand around and actually, finally, hold it properly.
And they get by like this for two weeks, until they get cleared out. And that's when the problem starts.
Because when Izuku wakes up in the middle of the night in his own room, there's no heart monitor beeping to convince himself that Kacchan was fine. There is no way he can know for certain that all that happens, that Kacchan coming back, wasn't a false memory, a way his mind chose to deal with the most terrible thing he has ever faced in his life.
And so the only thing he can do is curl up on his bed and cry.
Sometimes, he remembers he has pictures of them at the hospital, and he tries looking at them to calm himself down, but still takes him at least one or two hours to fall asleep again.
It's only a week later when Kacchan visits them with his parents for dinner that he feels he can actually breathe again. He hadn't noticed how, even awake, he was having difficulty in doing that.
Katsuki notices the moment he laid eyes on Izuku. The dark circle under his eyes, the way his breathing is artificially deep like he's trying to control it in order to not cry at any given second. And that's why, when his parents say goodbye to their hosts, he announces, "Actually, I think I'm going to stay," and then he turns at Izuku, "if that's fine with you." Of course, he gets an excited nod in return.
So they found themselves in Izuku's room. Katsuki is on a futon on the floor, wearing Izuku's clothes that are not as small as they anticipated them to be. His shorts are actually loose on him. And Izuku is on the bed, fidgeting with the sheets afraid to fall asleep. But sleep eventually does come, and so do the recurring insistent images of Kacchan's dead body.
He wakes up as he always does. Cold sweat on his forehead, tears in his eyes, and his heart in his throat, keeping him from taking a satisfying breath.
But this time, it's different. Because the moment he jerks up on the bed, he feels someone climbing on it from behind him, holding him back together. "It's okay, Izuku. I'm right here, it's okay," Kacchan soothes him, which only makes him cry even harder, but this time, it's from relief.
Relief because it's true, Kacchan did make it. It's not his mind playing tricks on him, Kacchan is right there, with him, holding him.
"I can't stop seeing it," he hiccups between his sobs, leaning into the grounding touch of Katsuki's hands on his back. "It's... There! I- I don't-"
He can't seem to form any more coherent phrases, but Katsuki doesn't care. He understands.
So he lays down on the bed and pulls Izuku to him, "Here, come here," his tone is caring and reassuring, and Izuku can't help but comply. Katsuki arranges him so he is laying with the head above his heart. "Can you hear it?" Kacchan asks him, his voice vibrating all over his chest. It takes a moment for Izuku to catch up on what he means, and when he does, it's unmistakable.
The steady tu-dum of his heart.
He nods, tearing up. "Mhmm, yeah."
"Good," Kacchan all but hums. "I'm right here, nerd. You won't get rid of me that easily."
"I don't want to," Izuku catches himself saying.
"What?"
"I don't want to get rid of you. Never."
Katsuki lets out a warm chuckle. "Well, great then, cuz I am not going anywhere. You hear me?"
You're stuck with me."
"Promise?"
"Yeah, I fucking promise."
At that, Katsuki raises his hand and finally gives himself to the desire of touching Izuku's hair. He runs his fingers under the curls, massaging his scalp. Izuku melts at the touch, relishing in the feeling and carefully and attentively listening to Kacchan's heartbeat.
They fall asleep shortly after, and it's the best sleep both have gotten in a very long time.
So they make a routine out of it. Before classes return, they alternate between sleeping in Izuku's and Katsuki's house, and after classes start and they have to move to dorms again, they mostly just sleep in Katsuki's room. Izuku doesn't even have clothes in his, only merch and school material.
And it's always the same position. Katsuki on his back, with Izuku on his left side, resting on his chest.
It doesn't take too long before Katsuki starts kissing his forehead before they sleep, and Izuku kisses his sternum in return. It takes an even shorter amount of time after that for them to start actually kissing their lips goodnight. And an ever shorter one before the last thing they say to each other every night changes from 'good night' to 'I love you'.
They never slept apart again.