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“You two have fun.” Tim says and Lucy’s heart clenches a little as they walk away. She looks back to see Tim looking at her and even from this distance, she can see the hurt and longing in his eyes. Her stomach turns over and suddenly she’s not hungry anymore. But she walks with Chris anyway through the station and out to his car. She smiles at him as she slides in but Tim’s face never leaves her mind.
At dinner, Chris tries to start a conversation with her and then just ends up dominations the conversation. He’s telling a story about a client’s husband or something. She nods a long to his story.
Ashley and I broke up or as he put she technically broke up with him.
So that was his reason for his moodiness the past few days. She supposes it makes sense but when she look back at him he didn’t look hurt from the breakup with Ashley. It was something else, it was like he wanted to say something to her but couldn’t.
“Lucy!” Chris voice brings her out of her thoughts and she looks up. He’s looking at her in concern.
“Are you okay? You haven’t eaten anything.” He says and she looks down at her plate to see that he’s right. She hasn’t touched her food.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I guess I’m not hungry.” She says. “It’s okay. It can be leftovers.” Chris gives her a look that says he doesn’t quite believe her but he drops it and then continues on with his story.
She tries to pay attention so he doesn’t call her out for not listening. Her mind is still on Tim though and maybe she should see that as a problem. Thinking of another man while she’s with her boyfriend.
“Are you ready to go?” Chris asks her suddenly and she nods. She stands up and grabs her bag and jacket.
“Um can you drop me off at my apartment?” She asks Chris. He gives her a strange look.
“Why? I thought we could hang out at my place.” He says coming over to stand in front of her so she couldn’t move. Lucy doesn’t meet his eyes instead she stares at the ground.
“I don’t feel good Chris. I just want to go home.” She says and he nods a little stiffly. She follows him out of the restaurant slowly. He drives her back to her apartment and when she gets out he tries to give her a kiss but she dodges it.
“Bye Chris.” She says and backs away from his car before he can say or do anything else. She watches his car turn the corner at the end of the street and then she’s getting into her car and driving to the one person she’s been thinking about all night.
***
Tim is just closing his eyes when there’s a knock at his door. He glances at his phone which says it’s 7:30. He walks to the door and looks out the peephole and sees the one person he wants to see.
Lucy.
She’s fidgeting with her car keys and bitting her lip. He opens up the door and she smiles weakly when she sees him.
He opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it. “This was a bad idea.” She says. “I don’t know why I came here. I have a boyfriend.”
Tim frowns at that statement, the image of Lucy and Chris leaving together will always haunt his memory.
He felt like he lost her even if she wasn’t his to lose. She starts to turn her away but Tim reaches out to stop her. She turns to face him and there are tears pooling in her eyes. “Why did you come here Lucy?” He asks her. She did fidgets with her keys some more and then looks up at him.
“I-I saw the way you looked at me when I was leaving with Chris and I just wondered, if y-you—”
Tim steps closer to her, and she swallows hard as a tear runs down her cheek. “I just wondered if you felt what I was feeling.” She says softly. He blinks at her a couple of times.
“And how were you feeling Lucy?” He asks. She swallows again and then looks at him straight in the eyes.
“Like I was walking away from the person I was suppose to be with.” She says her voice shaking.
Tim steps even closer to her, and she makes the first move reaching for his elbows to pull him in.
“I felt like the ground could open up and take me down because I had to watch you walk away with Chris.” He says his voice low. “I felt my heart break in two.”
“It’s terrible isn’t it?” She says. “That feeling of heartbreak.” He nods. It’s an absolutely horrible feeling.
Lucy steps forward this time and before he knows it, Lucy is kissing him much like she did in her apartment. Tim’s entire world spins and tilts on its axis again. He deepens the kiss and pulls her closer and hitches her legs ups so they are around his waist. But just as he is deepening the kiss farther she jumps back, her lips swollen and her face red.
“No. No. No.” She cries. “No. I have a boyfriend. I can’t—”
“Lucy.” He says calmly. “Luce—” But she’s still freaking out as she backs her way off the porch. Tim rushes to her side before she falls backwards. “Lucy.” He turns her so she’s facing him. “Luce it’s okay.”
“But I kissed you and I.. Chris.” She says as more tears fall down her cheek. Tim brushes them away without a second thought.
“Lucy. You said you came here to see if I felt the same way you do.” He says. “Well I do. And I’m not going to tell you what to do because I know you will make the decision you want to make. But I will ask you… what do you want?
“You.” She mutters without hesitation. “I want you.” A smile spreads across Tim’s face as he gathers her in his arms. She buries her face in his chest, he feels her shaking with sobs and he sways her back and forth it.
“Don’t cry Luce.” He says gently. But when she looks up she’s smiling.
“I-I just realized what I want. And for the first time in a long time I’m doing this for me.” She says and Tim doesn’t quite understand but he nods kissing the top of her head.
“Well I think you know what you have to do.” He says. “And I will be waiting for you.”
“Yeah?” She says a bigger smile on her face now. Tim nods and brings her in again.
“Always Lucy.” He says. “Go do what you have to do.”
Lucy nods and gives him a small kiss on the cheek before she’s turning around to go to her car, feeling a lot light lighter than before.
***
Lucy talks to Chris that night and while she would love to turn back up on Tim’s doorsteps she knows it’s late and she’s tired. And she knows Tim will be waiting for her, and that is something she can hang on to.