Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Huh, is all Cub can think as he surveys the landscape around him with a sharp eye and a spyglass. "This island wasn't on any map." He says out loud, mostly to fill the silence.

"Well, if it's not on the maps, then that means I'm the first person to find it, and that means that those idiots won't find me here." He finally decides, retracting the spyglass with a twist of a dial, and tucking it away in one of the copious pockets of his lab coat.

"Let's get exploring then, shall we?" He announces to no one in particular, and hops off the boulder he'd been perched atop as a vantage point.

He doesn't see the void staring at him from the shadows.

*

It watches from just out of sight, observing the way the Intruder's flowing white coat flutters in the soft wind.

It could... It could recreate that, probably. But it needs something else, something more than just the motion of fabric. The Intruders eyes... they were blue, bright blue like electricity, far more blue than a vex's. Blue was not usually its colour, but colour could be changed...

A sheep bleats nearby, and it smiles with sharp teeth at the woolly creature. It had taken a similar form to a ram a while ago, but it still wanted more.

It starts with purple. Purple is a nice, deep colour, and the brightness and intensity of the Intruder's blue eyes worked well even when not blue.

Then, the coat, with a multitude of pockets. It decides it likes the pockets. He could hold stuff in it while keeping his hands free.

Tucking his hands in his new pockets, he smiles a quick smile and disappears into the shadows again, his horns draped in spiderwebs of void.

If the Intruder didn't cause problem's, it wasn't his job to deal with them.

Chapter Text

Cub stares at his mangled arm, blankly watching his blood drain away, drip by drip. He only calls it blood because it's what keeps him running, keeps him 'alive'.

It's not actually blood. It is redstone dust mixed with the tears of a creature called a 'ghast.' Apparently the tears usually crystallize in moments after being shed, but his makers had had a device that turned the small crystals back into liquid, which was then mixed with the radioactive dust.

Even as he watches, the gash in his arm slowly stops dripping, the ghast tears recrystallizing the moment it touches air.

It would stay closed for now, but he really needs a proper fix-up, with all the dents and scratches he'd gained in just a few short weeks.

He's also gonna need more 'blood'. Shame his creators hadn't kept records of where such a creature as a ghast could be found, or if they did, they never saw fit to add that tidbit of information to his database.

Cub exhales a sigh, leaning back against the wall of the cave he'd escaped into with a groan; two very human noises from something decidedly not.

The creature outside his cave screams, garbled, staticky rage freezing him in place. Cub is so, so glad the stretched, terrifying thing can't fit into his little safe spot. 
It screams once more, then it snaps its head up to stare at something in the distance with glowing violet eyes, before disappearing in a cloud of purple particles.

Silence rings loudly in its absence. Cub tentatively emerges from his his little hollow, relaxing in relief when the monster doesn't immediately come screaming back. The biome he's in is a red desert, spires of twisting brown stone and deep canyons visible as far as the desert stretches.

The cave systems around here could be a good place to hunker down if they ever found him here. 
So he starts exploring. 

The shadows follow. Many time's he's caught himself staring around at the darkness behind each craggy stone formation, half-expecting something  to be there.

There never is, though, so eventually he stops looking for monsters and instead searches for a good cave.

Night is falling when he finds a decent cave to take shelter in. He sits down against the wall and pulls his knees up to his chest, and lets the light in his eyes fade to the faintest spark.

He slips into his 'sleeping' state.

*

Etho finds the intruder by following the enderman's shrieks. It's posted outside of a small cave- more of a hollow, really- and trying to reach whatever is inside.

He doesn't sense anything, so it's either an innocent mob or-

or the Intruder.

Well, he can't just let the enderman get to the Intruder like that, he still wants to have some fun with them!

He hisses, his voice catching the frequency that only enderians and end-dwelling creatures could hear.

A challenge is issued, and the Enderman screeches, teleporting to just inches in front of Etho. Its last mistake.

He smiles under his mask, and lets Fear seep into its mind. It freezes, its purple eyes growing wide in terror as its bones lock up in fright.
Etho slowly reaches forward and then, in one quick motion, slices its neck open with his claws.

It disintegrates before his mismatched eyes, falling away into dust and deep blue-green spheres. He picks the pearls up and tucks them away for later.

The Intruder emerges as Etho watches unseen, and follows them across the redspire desert. At first, they seem wary, glancing around at every shadow, until eventually they seem to calm down and relax.

...Relaxing in Etho's presence. When he still had his aura of Fear surrounding him, and the Intruder was definitely close enough that they should be able to feel it.
That was worrying. Not only was there an Intruder on the island, but they were immune to the Fear. 

But he was also kind of impressed, and curious, so he follows until the Intruder disappears inside a cave as the sun starts to set.

Etho perches above the entrance and keeps the mobs away with his presence that night.

Chapter Text

Cub 'wakes up' at exactly five o clock in the morning. The sun hasn't even risen yet as he emerges from his little hidey-hole he'd spent the night in. The stars peek down through the thin cloud cover at him.

...Is it just him, or do half those stars look more like, strange, glowing eyes than actual stars?

Just as he thinks that, the eyes blink away and disappear, and Cub has to wonder if they were ever there at all. He shakes his head and continues on his way.

First order of business: find out what a 'ghast is, and where he can find one.
He doesn't need food; he's solar-powered (Cub likes to joke to himself that he photosynthesizes), and he only 'sleeps' to pass the time.

He walks towards the mountains in the distance to the north, oblivious to the countless eyes Watching him.

He sees the smoke before he sees the village, brightly coloured plumes of gas rising into the sky before dissipating.
When Cub rounds the last but of lushly overgrown mountain it's to find a little town, in many distinct styles.

There are five main buildings that catch his eye; an upside down boat, a fancy house with windows that look like they are screaming, a big tree that looks like a monster with a van tangled in its branches, a colossal wagon that looks more like a travelling village in its own right, and the factory with its multicoloured smokes.

The mountains are covered with several statues and buildings, and a literal train is running along one edge.

In the middle of everything, though, is a floating stack of boats and random items, hovering without any scientific explanation over a bottomless pit.

Cub stays a good ways back from the Pit.

He can't take his eyes off it, though, so he doesn't notice what's coming up behind him until it's too late.

*

Grian had heard from Jevin that Wels had overheard Bdubs and Keralis talking about how Etho, the continent's resident fearwielder, had been spooked by the Intruder.
No one knew why this was so, but now Grian was desperate to find out why the Intruder was so scary that they had even Etho on edge.

So, naturally, he weasels the Intruder's location out of Etho and Watches until they emerge from their cave.

There is still an hour before sunrise, so Grian hides his watching eyes among the stars. The Intruder sees them.

The Intruder sees his eyes anyway.

Grian quickly pulls all his eyes well away from sight with a gasp. Carefully, so carefully, he sends a single eye out and keeps it always in the (hopefully) blind spot of the Intruder.

They're heading towards Boatem. Grian's eye follows. The Intruder wanders through Boatem Town, staring around at the buildings with unblinking, electric blue eyes.

They stand staring at the Boatem hole fore quite some time.

Long enough to sneak up on the Intruder and give a little reality-bending push.

Chapter Text

Cub screams as something shoves him from behind, and all of a sudden he's falling down the bottomless pit.

He passes a final layer of stone and then there is nothing all around him. Looking back up he sees the flat underside of the world getting further and further away- wait.

The earth is solid. There shouldn't be emptiness down here. Cub turns to stare back down at the void. Panicking through even, timed breaths. 

This is not natural.

Without warning, something grabs him from behind (above?) And pulls. He can feel the motion of what seems to be thick, stiff fabric rippling in the void around him, and then he's going up, rocketing past the layers of stone and into open air.

*

Pearl sees Grian push the Intruder before she can call out to stop him. With a sharp gasp, she jumps off her mountain and dives into the Boatem Hole after the fading scream of Grian's latest prank victim.

They're falling fast, down into the void, and most people would have suffocated by now in the lack of air down here.

Not Pearl, not anymore.

Pearl reaches out and wraps all four of her arms around the upper torso of the Intruder and pulls upwards, gritting her sharp teeth in effort as she flaps her wings, fighting against the pull of the undervoid.

The moment she's out of its grasp, however, all her built-up momentum sends her rocketing into the sky, even with the heavy figure in her arms.

No human this size should naturally be this heavy

She swoops down to gently set the Intruder on the ground, and flies away as fast as she can before the Intruder can turn and see her.

She might have looked back.

She might have waved when they did too.

She might not actually care that they saw her.

Pearl heads off in search of Grian, to give him a scolding for pushing the Intruder down the Boatem Hole.

Chapter Text

Cub watches the moth-lady fly away, his hand still raised slightly from when he'd waved.

The moth-woman had waved back.

Cub shakes his head slowly and leaves the empty town quite quickly. He finds a well-worn path and follows it, trying not to think about who-or what- made the trail.

"Where're you off to in such a hurry?"

Cub freezes and spins around In a full circle, trying to see who had spoken. The voice laughs, not in a mean way. 

"You're the Intruder, aren't you. Don't worry, I'm not about to chase you away. Where are you going?"

"Well, mostly I'm going away from that empty town north of here, the one with the bottomless pit." Cub admits. The voice chuckles. "Ah, Boatem. The residents are a bit... odd, even for a place like here."

"I see... oh! And could you tell me where I could find a ghast?" Cub asks, suddenly remembering his goal for today.

"Sure." A figure steps out of the trees, silvery and see-through and dressed in medieval armor. The ghost knight raises a hand and points back down the path. 

"Nearest Nether portal is back at Boatem. Ghasts are the floating things with tentacles and shoot fire. Good luck!"

And with that, the ghost disappears again. Cub sighs and turns around.

Looks like he is going back to 'Boatem' after all.

*

Wels follows behind the Intruder as they leave Boatem for the first few minutes before making up his mind.

"Where're you off to in such a hurry?"

The Intruder jumps and turns, trying to see Wels, who laughs. 

"You're the Intruder, aren't you. Don't worry, I'm not about to chase you away. Where are you going?" He asks. The Intruder continues to look around, but doesn't seem scared scared.

"Well, mostly I'm going away from that empty town north of here, the one with the bottomless pit." They say slowly. Wels chuckles again. "Ah, Boatem. The residents are a bit... odd, even for a place like here."

"I see... oh! And could you tell me where I could find a ghast?" The Intruder asks. Wels frowns slightly to himself. Why would this person need a ghast?

"Sure." He finally offers, stepping into view of the Intruder, who doesn't even flinch at seeing a ghost. Trying to hide how that has shaken him, Wels points back down the path with a gauntleted hand.

"Nearest Nether portal is back at Boatem. Ghasts are the floating things with tentacles and shoot fire. Good luck!" He says cheerfully, disappearing back into the spectral plane of existence with a worried smile.

He would never admit it, but the Intruder scared him.

Chapter Text

Cub slows his already trudging pace when he hears the voices up ahead at 'Boatem'. 

"So you're telling me they're not human?" The first voice asks skeptically, with a distinct accent.

"I think so. Pearl said they survived going deeper in the void than most of us can go without dying." Another, rich voice replies, sounding cautious.

"That is- Y'know what, that's fine. Let's just leave them be and maybe they'll leave." A third voice butts in, sounding like it all wasn't 'fine'.

"Cleo, that's the approach we took with you and Impulse, and look how that worked out." The first voice says disapprovingly. The third voice sighs, and Cub can practically hear the sassy eye roll that comes with that kind of sigh.

He knows this because one of his makers made that same sigh-and-eyeroll a lot.

"Well, you guys accepted us eventually? Maybe that's how it's gonna go with the Intruder." The second voice says carefully, and Cub realises suddenly that they're talking about him.

"We don't know their intentions, Impulse." The first voice argues. "For void's sake, they're immune to Etho's Fear! What are the chances they can resist- what, Hypno's hypnotization? Tango can't steal their soul? Grian can't see them? We don't know the extent of their abilities!"

"We don't know Joe's either, but are we concerned about that?"

"Yes."

Cub doesn't know who Etho, or Hypno, or Tango or Grian or Joe are, and he's not gonna ask.
However...

"Not even sure I have a soul." Cub sighs, finally stepping into sight of the voices' owners. One of them, with a green shirt and light vines and moss winding their way up arms of solid iron, lets out a startled yell and steps back, bionic eye (aren't both eyes bionic? They're made entirely of iron) widening. 

A figure with a serpent tail instead of legs and snakes for hair hisses at him, bristling in surprise. The moving statue beside them turns fast to see Cub, glowing yellow eyes wide.

"Hi," Cub offers. "I'm not even gonna ask about what you guys were talking about, but I would appreciate it if one of you could point me in the direction of the...Nether? Yeah, Nether... portal. There was a ghost-knight guy who said there was one here."

Wordlessly, the statue-person raises a hand and points. Cub smiles. "Thanks. I'll go now, then.

*

Impulse watches the Intruder wander off towards the Nether portal, lab coat shifting in the breeze, and slowly turns to meet the gazes of Cleo and Iskall. He's not scared of looking Cleo in the eye anymore, the damage has already been done.

"So, uh, there was that." He says finally. Iskall sighs, still looking quite shaken. "Sure. There was that." Impulse agrees numbly.

"I'm concerned." Cleo says flatly. "Fine. I take back what I said about letting them do as they please, they looked me in the eyes without even slowing down." The last part was said fiercely, the first inklings of fear starting up on the gorgon's face. "I- I think I need to go find Joe."

Cleo leaves quickly, opting for the horse trails instead of the nearest portal. Impulse doesn't blame her, not with the Intruder in there. Iskall clears their throat. "I don't want to think about the implications of them being immune to stonegaze, too." They say loudly. "I'm going too. Good luck for when the Intruder comes back, I think you'll need it."

"Wow, Iskall, very reassuring." Impulse sighs. "I'll probably clear out too, go visit Zed or something, at least until the Intruder is done with business around here."

"Good plan."

Chapter Text

Cub steps through the swirling purple portal that defies scientific explanation, and barely (metaphorically) blinks at the change in temperature except to note how the thermometer in his internal interface suddenly skyrockets to 'Error'.

Oh, well. He's sure he'll be fine.

Probably.

Now, the ghost knight said that ghasts were the floating things with tentacles and shot fire. Fun.

Now, to actually find a ghast. The Nether is hot, and even though Cub does not notice it, he does notice, and grumble about, how his heavy steps sink into the slightly crumbly red stone the Nether appears to be made of, making it hard to walk quickly.

"Who-ooohahhahaa nohhaagh aabghggglglggha, that's the Intruder, oh void no."

Cub nearly laughs now, hearing what must be yet another inhabitant of the island seeing him for the first time.

"Hi." Cub says without even turning around. The other person/cryptid/thing makes some more incomprehensible noises before answering nervously, "...Hello?"

"Yes, hello. I won't turn around if you don't want to be seen, but where can I find a ghast here? The ghost knight guy pointed me to the Nether, but I actually don't know where ghasts can be found here...
Or I could skip finding them altogether if you miraculously have some ghast tears on hand that you'd be wiling to part with."
The last part is said with dry sarcasm, as a joke, but the voice behind him gasps. "I do, actually. But we'd need to find a price for it..." They trail off pointedly. Cub sighs. "I don't have much." He says.

The voice laughs. "Oh, don't worry, I'm sure you have what I'm asking for."

"And what would that be?"

A pause, followed by a very dramatic and echo-y "Oh, I don't know... how about your soul?" The voice declares dramatically, and Cub grins and shakes his head slowly. "I'm going to turn around now." He warns. The voice yelps. "Wh- oh, sure, yeah sure just, uh, turn around then-"

And Cub does. He's just too done to be fazed by the glowing red eyes, or the fire hair and wings of stardust, or the wickedly sharp teeth of the figure behind him.

The figure who wants to take his probably-nonexistent soul.

"Sure, go ahead. Take my soul. I just really need those tears. And redstone. I need more blood." Cub says flatly. The fire-figure balks. "Um...what? Did you say you need more blood?"

"Yeah," Cub shrugs. "Redstone and liquified ghast tears are what my blood is made of. Dunno about you, but that's just how I work."

"I- uh, I see." The fire figure says slowly. "Can I just take your soul now? I have a full fifteen tears you can have in exchange for it."

"Go ahead." 

"Okay, okay." The fire-figure takes a deep breath. Their yellow fire-hair turns blue and blazes brighter, and their eyes stare unblinkingly into Cub's eyes, and Cub can see the exact instant the fire-figure catches on, stumbling back with a verbal keyboard-smash of sound. 

"What? No! How do you not have a soul?! Did someone take it already? Was it Scar? I told him souls were my domain!" The fire-figure screeches, and Cub sighs. "Never met anyone named 'Scar'." He informs them bluntly as they steadily work themself up into a fiery tantrum.

Realising he may actually be in danger of the spitting fire, Cub takes a step back, then another. When the soul-dealer doesn't react to him, Cub turns and runs.

He doesn't get to far before a sobbing screech precedes an explosion to his right, and Cub looks back to see what must be a ghast.

Oh, right. The ghost-knight said they shot fireballs, didn't he?

The second one collides with him squarely in the back, blasting him off the edge. That's- that's a lot o f damage rig ht there, added to the da mag e cause d by hi tting the groun d.

Som ething must ha ve struck his sle ep m ode bu tton, beca use Cub rem embe rs no mor e.

*

Soft padded footsteps barely sink into the netherrack surface, and a looming figure stops, tail swishing, standing over the motionless form of the Intruder, red eye glowing.

A sigh, and then the Intruder is lifted with two hands, one organic, the other bionic.

The long trek back to the nearest portal is started.

Chapter Text

Cub's awareness comes back like it had never left, although he is not where he had been when he'd gone into Sleep Mode.

Which was both a blessing and a curse, honestly. 

Well, that's putting it a bit extreme, because really it's more of a convenience and a minor problem. It's a convenience because he is no longer in the Nether, and hopefully no longer at risk of being blown up by a ghast.

...It's a problem because he has no idea where he is, and the fact that he's here means someone moved him, which probably means he'll need to interact with someone to leave.

Great.

And, to top it all off, he realises as he takes in his surroundings, is that he's in a lab cell.

Double great.

Cub tries to tamp down the panic in him (did they find him? Is he back where he started? Was the island a simulation and he failed?) - because if they've actually found him, he'd get in less trouble if he didn't show emotion, like a good android.

Someone is approaching the door to the room outside the cell - two people, actually; Cub can tell by their footsteps - and Cub is emotionless and tense, waiting for his makers them to come through and punish him for defecting-

But it's not two people, not them, that steps through.

Cub finds himself relaxing before something he should logically find terrifying, all because the giant green creature staring at him is not them.

The green cyborg-goat-centaur looks over their shoulder and calls someone else into the room (Cub can't hear it because the glass must be soundproof) and a moment later, a guy with dark brown wolf ears, pawed feet and a pair of sunglasses covering bright blue eyes - but aren't nearly as unnerving as Cub's - trots in.
They talk for a moment, and Cub pulls out his spyglass to idly fidget with as the wolf-guy regards him.

And when wolf-guy reaches for a clipboard and pen, it finally clicks what's going on.

Oh.

Well.

If these guys are studying him, he may as well have a little fun about it. 

With an innocent smile, Cub pulls out his own notepad and pencil.

*

Doc is highly concerned, to say the least. The Intruder was awake and tense just as the massive goat/creeper enters the lab, but for some reason they relax when they see him?! Doc regards them for a moment, trying to fathom the reason for this behaviour, before finally looking over his shoulder and calling out the door.

"Ren. Get in here, please?"

A clatter, before the hellhound in question pokes his head through the door. "Yeah? Are they- oh." Ren trail's off, seeing the Intruder staring at him through the soundproof glass on the cell.

"We have a problem." Doc says flatly gesturing towards the Intruder. "I walked in and they relaxed. They're not even scared of me!"

What the creeper really wants is to start pulling at his hair in frustration, but Ren had given him a stress ball - shaped like a pile of redstone dust - for this exact reason. Right now Doc is squeezing it so hard with his organic hand that it might just break into dust at this point.

"Well. That's- uh, certainly interesting, my dude." Ren says, trying to put on a 'serious scientist voice. He's gotten better at it since he started Octagon with Doc.

"Right. Yes it is. Why do they relax in the presence of a seven foot tall creeper-centaur-cyborg-goat? Do they perceive themself as more dangerous?" Doc asks, and Ren reaches for a clipboard, but stops, staring at the Intruder, who is smiling innocently at them through the glass, spinning a copper-and-glass tube in their hands.

"Where did they get that." Ren says nervously. It's not a question. The intruder locks eyes with the hellhound, and without breaking eye contact, reaches into their own lab coat (are they a scientist of their own?) and pulls out a pad of paper and a pencil.

Doc suddenly feels extremely apprehensive as the Intruder eyes him up for a moment before jotting something down on their paper.

Ren coughs. "Um, this suddenly feels a lot more backwards. I think they're trying to study us, Doc."

"Yes I can see that Ren." Doc answers flatly. "I don't- void. I don't want to have Zedaph involved in this, but we may need to get him over here. You know how to call him? All that undead-and-afterlife-y stuff?" The creeper asks. Ren nods. "I'll get right on that."

The hellhound leaves the room, and Doc turns back to see-

The Intruder has abandoned the pencil and paper facedown on the floor and is pulling far more than should fit from their pockets.

Why.

What looks like a couple of cool sticks and a bit of quartz among several other random things, as well as-
As well as several handfuls of raw redstone dust. Doc feels his goatlike ears - yes, even the bionic one - pinning against his head in fear. Redstone is so dangerous to handle that even he has to wear a gas mask and thick leather gloves to use it! And the Intruder is handling it in its raw, unfiltered state with bare hands!

The Intruder stares at him, making sure they have his eye contact, before lifting a handful up to their mouth and eating it.

This is far beyond what Doc is capable of dealing with at this point.

He strides over and opens the door with a quick motion. "Go." He growls at the Intruder. "I don't even- just go. Please. I can't deal with you right now." He's practically begging as the Intruder takes their sweet time packing up their stuff, and everything - including the redstone - goes back into their pockets.

They stand up and give Doc what can only be described as a shit-eating grin. "Sure. But I do have one favour to ask." They say easily, and Doc-
Doc wants to cry.

"What do you want." Keeping up a gruff, grumpy personality is hard right now, but hell if Doc isn't going to try.

"Nothing much, just some ghast tears." The Intruder says lightly. Doc nods, fumbling in one of the drawers of the lab and thrusting a handful of tears at the Intruder's still-smiling face. Of course, they put it in their pockets with a "Why thank you."

"Now please just go." Doc says desperately. "Take the first door on your right, and you should be out. Just please leave."

The Intruder nods. "Of course. Nice lab you got here, by the way."

And then they're gone, disappearing out the door with a swish of their lab coat.

"Doc? Zed should be here in- oh." 

"Yeah. Oh." 

"You let them go?" Ren asks skeptically. Doc finally snaps, reaching up to pull at his hair. "They held raw redstone dust in their bare hands, Ren!" The creeper howls hysterically. "They looked me dead in the eye and ate some!"

Chapter Text

The strange green centaur had been rather confusing, but Cub took a cryptid releasing in from a lab over them finding and resetting him any day.

He sets a meandering course towards the village he can see in the distance, because why not. He's not got anywhere else to be, anything else to do. He's got his ghast tears and redstone blood back in him, so now he's really just exploring.

The streets of the town are empty, but Cub knows he's being watched. It's not a ghostly feeling,he doesn't actually have that sixth-sense kind of intuition, it's just that whoever's following him doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of being subtle.

The third time he makes eye contact with his stalker, Cub waves and calls out. "I may be a stranger, but you don't have to be! Really, I don't bite."

"No! I'm not coming out! You're the Intruder!" The person yells back. Cub sighs. "Suit yourself."

"Tango told me you don't have a soul and that you eat blood!" A different voice, heavier accented, (there must be two) hollers. Cub grins. "Yeah, you could say I don't have a soul." He says nonchalantly. There is a sort of strangled yelp from one of the voices.

The following pause is awkward, but not for Cub. Finally, the person now hiding behind a pile of barrels asks in a very timid voice, "and what of the blood?"

"My own sort of blood, yeah. Don't worry, I'm not after yours." Cub says, in a way that implies he is very much after their blood.

If they're gonna spread rumors and make him their cryptid, then he's gonna play the part.

The person perched just out of sight on the roof across the street laughs nervously. "Ah, sweetface, you may find my blood is not to your liking. Neither would Bubbles's be. You can go, now."

"...nah, I'm good. I want to meet you guys." Cub says innocently. "I've already met several people on this island..."

"What did you do to them!" A mossy figure vaults over the barrels and rams into Cub, knocking them both to the ground with the moss on top. Yellowish, shining, too-large eyes glare fearfully at him. Three-fingered hands grab the front of his lab coat and grip it hard. "What did you do?!" The moss screams. Another, taller figure jumps down from the roof and tries to haul the moss off off Cub.

"Bubbles, no!" The new figure grunts in effort, because the moss is refusing to let go of Cub, who is laughing.

"I did nothing to your friends but ask for directions and mess with them a bit." He assures them. The new figure - the accented one with huge, fathomless eyes, glares at him mistrustfully. "Mess with them how?"

"I ate redstone in front of the green centaur guy to see how he'd react, and I also tried to bargain away a soul I don't have to a fire-spirit for blood." Cub says bluntly. The big-eyed one blinks. "So you do eat blood." They say, absolutely terrified. Cub laughs again and easily pushes the moss off of him.

"In a way. This place is beautiful, I wouldn't mind a tour."

"Nope. Absolutely not. Let's get out of here, Keralis." The moss says abruptly, grabbing onto Keralis's arm, trying to tug them away.

*

Of all the things Gem had expected to find in the Big Eye's village, the Intruder messing with Keralis and Bdubs was not at the top of the list.

The Intruder seems to sense her coming, and turns to greet her with a pleasant grin. "Ah, hello, and who might you be?"

This. This could be the ultimate power play that could earn her bragging rights for ages.

"Call me Gem." She smiles sweetly, ignoring Bdubs and Keralis unsubtly trying to get her to not interact with the Intruder, whether for her safety or theirs. "Could I have your name?"

The wording alone should be obvious, paired with he clearly visible faeform. But the Intruder nods happily, easily and obliviously taking the bait. "My name's Cub. You're actually the first person to ask that, nice to meet you."

Gem frowns. "No, that's a nickname. It's a good nickname, but I was asking for your real name."

"Oh, my bad." The Intruder says easily. "My real 'name' is C1F35N 005."

What. 

Keralis and Bdubs, too, are frozen in fascinated horror, because that is-

"That's not a name!" Gem explodes out. "That's just- that's a bunch of gibberish! That's not a name, I can't steal that!"

The Intruder blinks their solid blue eyes, looking almost... hurt. "You were trying to steal my name?" They ask, and Gem might have misinterpreted the tone as betrayal on anyone else.

"Well, yeah. I'm a fae, it's my job." Gem says flatly. "You're not natural. What did you do to manage to protect your name from me stealing it? What are you?"

"Like I said, I'm Cub." The Intruder says flatly, coldly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving now. My tour will have to wait."

And they sweep stiffly past her and trudge down the street.

Chapter Text

Cub treads down the path, staring numbly at the ground. The first person to actually ask his name, and they were only being nice so they could steal it.

He wanders into a clearing and pauses, so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn't notice that he's not alone once again.

That is, until someone clears their throat awkwardly. Cub turns, and tilts his head at the two figures standing there.

One is a woman with hooves instead of legs and flowers growing from her hair, and she's holding the arm of what can only be a human sized- and shaped-potato with a  mustache. Vines are growing around where the woman is holding the potato's arm, and they're both staring at him.

Cub frowns at them, shakes his head, and leaves.

He doesn't feel like talking to people right now.

*

Stress blinks as the Intruder shakes their head at her and Mumbo before turning and disappearing into the forest again, tattered lab coat swishing against the grass.

"Well." Mumbo says eventually. "That went- that went far better than I expected it to, actually."

"Yeah." Stress agrees. "So, I think the bes' bet for getting rid of these vines is to just trim them off. You said it doesn't hur' when one gets cut?"

"No, it doesn't hurt, thank goodness."

Stress nods, pushing the Intruder out of her head as she pulls a pair of pruning shears out of her bag and starts on the vines.