Chapter Text
There are two things you should know about Choi Beomgyu. One, he firmly believes that everyone deserves a second chance. And two, that that belief is what keeps him going through life as much as it gets him into trouble.
Beomgyu had been dating Soyeon for over three years, had moved in together (four months before D-Day) and, most importantly, had not expected it at all.
He knew that he and Soyeon were different. She was extremely smart academically, Beomgyu was not. She was emotionally constipated and difficult to get to know, Beomgyu was as mysterious as Clark Kent's identity. They weren't soulmates. She was an advocate for the free choice movement, and Beomgyu was a hopeless romantic who loved the idea of soulmates. Still, he hadn't expected a breakup like this.
He always thought that she just had a hard time communicating her feelings, nothing too bad or strange in this day and age. Most of the time, he was happy to have such an educated and opinionated girlfriend. But he digresses.
The thing is, Beomgyu had already bought a gift for their upcoming anniversary when it happened, and he even had a party planned for her birthday that he had to cancel. He was looking forward to it, only to be told to "leave the apartment as soon as possible". She just "couldn't do it anymore". This being dating Beomgyu.
Beomgyu had been rightfully upset and confused about it, he had even cried and begged for a second chance, not understanding what was so wrong in their relationship that they couldn't fix. In the end, all his efforts had been in vain.
She had made up her mind long before she announced it was over. But she couldn't even give him a simple reason as to why she was ending it. Beomgyu insisted that if she wanted to get with her soulmate he understood, but she always denied it even though all the facts aligned.
Instead, two months later, he had been stabbed where it hurt the most. He guesses that's the risk of letting questionable people in for so long, they know better than anyone what makes you smile just as they know what makes you cry.
He had made the call just before arriving at his office, thinking it would at least be nice to let Soyeon know about the present he had bought her before everything went to hell -since it would arrive at their former shared apartment that morning-. His now ex had called him immature, irresponsible, stupid.
He wasn't stupid, and as much as he liked acting silly, and even though he admitted that academics weren't his strong point, Beomgyu knew that he was smart. He might seem childish to others, but that was only on a superficial level.
"You want to know why I really broke up with you? It wasn't even because I found my soulmate, it was because I felt like I was your mother the entire time we were dating" She had raised her voice and he could almost imagine her grabbing her hair in frustration from across the phone. "I can't keep fixing your shit. We already broke up, so don't even try. Are you trying to sabotage my relationship? Is that it?"
That shut him up so fast that he couldn't even deny it or defend himself. Beomgyu just stood there, frozen in front of the door of the building, still two minutes after the call ended.
When it didn't seem like this monumental moment was being experienced by the rest of the world like he was, Beomgyu swallowed down the tears and made it to his office in complete silence. That's how his day went for the most part.
Choi Beomgyu is just a sad man eating a salad.
"Hey, Beomgyu," Sungjin, his colleague, called out to him as he passed by. "Can you help me with something?"
"Well…" His tone alone is an answer on its own.
"I haven't even told you what I need help with?" He sounds amused, but after an awkward silence he seems to realize his bad mood.
"Well..." Ok, maybe he's being too whiny. "Sorry... what is it?" Beomgyu dares look up at him for a split second, trying to make himself smile while at it, "I'll see what I can do."
Beomgyu refrains from sighing when Sungjin just gives him a long look, and leans back in the chair of his sad cubicle.
You may wonder how a cubicle can be sad, but Beomgyu is sure that's the best way to describe it. His sad lunch, in his sad cubicle, with his sad number of notifications on his cellphone.
That sad number being zero.
Zero people had contacted him after the call with his ex.
It was not the first time they had fought, but surely those would stop after the breakup? Beomgyu was just so fed up with her. Somewhere deep inside he was tired of helping her, but he was also annoyed that his gift would be wasted. So he wondered how bad it would be to just go to her apartment and get it back. He didn't even like reading non-fiction, but it felt unfair that she could still receive something she wanted so bad while he was left pondering if their relationship had been like she had described. If she truly felt that way about him all this time, like she had to take care of him and clean up his messes like a child, why did she wait until now to say anything about it.
He also thought that at least one of his friends would reply on the group chat and offer him some comfort, but it seems like everyone is too busy. To be fair, Beomgyu hadn't gone into detail either. It felt pathetic to explain what hurt him so bad or even the reason behind it.
There was that awful feeling again, remembering the times his friends would joke that they had to take care of him when he was drunk or even just being too energetic and loud for his own good. It wasn't unusual for him to be compared to a child either.
"Sorry, hyung. What do you need help with?" He swallows the dread as best as he can, and just like his tears, he hides it poorly.
The silence that follows just makes him feel more insecure.
"Beomgyu-ah, you look..." sad his mind unhelpfully supplied, "Tired. It's okay if you say no, you know? I can find someone else. I just need someone to cover the calls for me, I have to leave early to take my daughter to our doctor's appointment"
"Oh, that's fine. I have to be here till 8 anyway", Beomgyu's shoulders drop unceremoniously. "You just need me to take the calls and write a note, right?"
"Yes, yes! You don't have to do my work, obviously. Just take notes about the corrections I need to do tomorrow. You know how clients are about calling in time... for some reason they all wait until it's almost time to go home to ask for last-minute changes".
Beomgyu nods. He knows.
The work of a graphic designer is thankless.
"Seriously, you don't have to do this"
"Hyung, I swear it's okay. I'm fine with it" Beomgyu tries to pour some of his usual cheerfulness into his voice, but it's lackluster at best, "I really needed to kill some time anyway"
"Oh. Ok. If you're sure..." Sungjin sighs in pure relief when he doesn't contradict him, "I owe you so much. I promise I'll make it up to you. Thank you, Gyu-ah".
"'Yeah, yeah," He smiles, this time more sincerely than he had all morning. "Say hi to your kid for me"
"Of course, she'll be thrilled to hear from you. You should come for dinner on Sunday. She says she misses you" His colleague laughs and slaps him on the back before leaving him alone with his thoughts again.
At least one person seemed excited to spend time with him.
He won't dwell on the fact that this person is a child. It would only make him feel more depressed.
His phone rings, and he takes the distraction gratefully.
Cutie-Kai
so who's coming to the show tonight? >3<
Choi Soobin (bestie)
I'll be there after work
Maybe around 9?
YJ-hyung :P
I work there so I don't have much of an option do i?
Cutie-Kai
):
YJ-hyung :P
It was a joke!!!
I'm sorry darling!!!!!!!
i'll be there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cutie-Kai
:)
You
I'm sorry Kai-ah
I can't make it this time
Cutie-Kai
owww is it about what happened with
uh, that phone call you mentioned
??
Choi Soobin (bestie)
She's not to be named in this chat
You should kidnap her cat
that'll show her
YJ-hyung :P
Catnap her you mean
Choi Soobin (bestie)
…
Cutie-Kai
…
You
…
YJ-hyung :P
I feel so unappreciated here
You
Yeah, maybe
I always liked her cat more than her anyways
Cutie-Kai
dw hyung<3
I understand
there's always next time >3<
It's just a shame that you're missing tyunie again
Choi Soobin (bestie)
Taehyun-ah is actually coming this time??
YJ-hyung :P
A christmas miracle
Choi Soobin (bestie)
It's literally April
Even though reading his friend's texts do make him smile, the distraction turns out to just last for a few minutes. Work is sadly the best thing he can do to keep his mind busy after his lunch break is over, and when he leaves the office and closes behind it's already past ten, which means Kai's performance is over for good.
His mood turns sour when the first breath of fresh air is interrupted by his phone vibrating and Soyeon's number appearing on his lockscreen.
Beomgyu takes a second to pull himself together before answering, "Hello?"
"It's in my car"
"Excuse me?"
"I left your present in the car and she's going to see it"
"I… don't follow"
"I need you to get it out of there before she sees it, she knows where I park my car and she was going to take the Kia to pick me up for a date"
"Soyeon-ah-"
"No, you don't understand. It's our first month anniversary. She's been trying to get me that book for weeks, you know they only sell it abroad. I told her it's impossible to get a copy for at least a couple of months just yesterday, she's going to know it's from you"
"And what does this have to do with me?"
"It's… it's your fault! You know how bad that looks, you're the one obsessed with soulmates, you tell me what she's going to be thinking when she finds it"
"She's not going to think you're cheating on her with me of all people, and even if she did, how is that any of my business?"
"Beomgyu-ah. Please"
And that's how Beomgyu finds himself in that predicament. It was meant to be simple. Take the subway, walk to the parking lot, retrieve the gift from the car, leave and never speak to his ex ever again. Except for the missing part of his wonderful plan where he retrieves the key from Soyeon to open the car, or the part where the alarm goes off and alerts a guard, or maybe where Soyeon's soulmate shows up in the middle of his explanation to the guard and cusses him out thinking he's trying to key or even steal her girlfriend's car out of petty revenge.
It's ridiculous. And as Murphy's law would have it, it only gets worse.
As Beomgyu gets fed up and takes his leave he hears more screaming, then feels a thud against his back and falls forward, scratching his hands and knees in his attempt to break the fall.
He knows that she's still yelling at him, but he can't hear it over the ringing in his ears.
When Beomgyu is ready to stand up without murdering intent, she has already stormed off. The book is spread open right next to him, and the door of the car open.
Fuck them.
He gets up slowly, cleans himself up and walks towards the car. Beomgyu is no longer sad, he's just angry and so pent up. And with that feeling boiling over he stops thinking clearly, he grabs the stupid book and takes off in Soyeon's car.
Everything was simpler when he drove. There was nothing else to do but to focus on the road, just his pulse in his ears and the cold air filling his lungs. His very own heartbeat matched the rumbling from the car.
There had been days where he would just drive aimlessly, it reminded him of his childhood and the trips he would go on with his dad. It almost felt like he was right next to him when he did it nowadays.
But it had been a long time, and instead of feeling the anger simmer down, the wind on his face seemed to set him off even more.
It was different this time, he felt different. Annoyed beyond reason.
In a moment of brilliance, or craziness, he takes the book from the passenger seat and rips a page. It's cathartic, ripping page after page of the book and letting the sheets fly over the city landscape.
It feels amazing, actually.
It feels better than closure. The book on his lap still has more than half of the pages left, but as he tears another with his free hand, there's an odd sound that catches his attention.
The engine starts sputtering, sudden power surges that alert him about the fact that he's about to run out of gas. In a panic, he almost misses the gas station that is by the side of the road, but when he takes the detour and gets there just in time, he realizes he's going to be pouring in gas for the same person he swore he would never ever do a favor for again.
Beomgyu bangs his head against the steering wheel and screams.
And that's how he meets him.
His soulmate.
Choi Soobin (bestie)
So you… followed him home?
You
…
Choi Soobin (bestie)
Good job dude
that's not creepy at all
You
What was I supposed to do?
let the drunk guy freeze to death?
Choi Soobin (bestie)
none of your business
You
Maybe I should sign myself in an insane asylum
Choi Soobin (bestie)
For what?
You
i just got home after pouring gas on my ex's car
i must be insane
Choi Soobin (bestie)
You also met your soulmate
You
that part might be the only thing i'm ok with
but idk
he was nice and all
Choi Soobin (bestie)
but?
You
he was pretty drunk
Choi Soobin (bestie)
Ig you'll have to go on a date to find out
You
i gave him my number
i really hope he texts me soon
he was pretty handsome too
Choi Soobin (bestie)
Really?? 👀
with your standards he might as well be a model then
You
shhh
i don't care about appearance you know that
i just want someone nice that actually likes me
Someone who actually feels proud of calling him his. Beomgyu sighs as he sits on his bed, still dressed and with no energy left to even take a shower. "Kang Taehyun, huh?" He mumbles as he draws shapes on his bedsheets, "Hyun…"
He feels embarrassed now that he realizes that if he actually made use of Kai's attempts of making the two meet up he could have met his soulmate on a much better day, on a much better note. Beomgyu's not proud of how he behaved tonight. He's also not sure why he doesn't want to tell Soobin that Taehyun is his soulmate. Maybe he's scared it's going to mess up the dynamic of their friend group, or maybe he's too insecure right now to open up about anything in regards to love. Beomgyu doesn't feel ready for a relationship yet, and he's not even sure Taehyun wants one either.
Until he's not sure his soulmate wants him, he's not going to go around telling people.
At this moment in time, he's just too vulnerable to be the one to reach out or speak up.
And, somehow, he might have been right to feel that way.
Months pass in the blink of an eye, and his relationship with Taehyun is still in the testing the waters phase. At first he had assumed the other wanted to take things slowly, but the more and more they hung out, the less certain he felt about that. The more platonic they behave as. Of course, the guys have always been more affectionate than the average group of friends, but Taehyun never looks at him. Or well, that's unfair. He does look at him, he just doesn't look at him differently. It wasn't that they weren't compatible, either. Beomgyu feels like all his strengths perfectly match Taehyun's weaknesses, and vice versa.
Although their friends would argue that they couldn't be more different from each other, Beomgyu can see the potential. He could see it in the way Taehyun would go the extra mile to join in his schemings, or how he would be the first to jump in his defense. Taehyun obviously cared for him, he was genuinely interested in Beomgyu. Just, maybe not as a romantic partner.
That was hard for him to accept. As much as he liked to think of himself as an open-minded person, he had been in love with the traditional idea of soulmates for as long as he could remember. He had big dreams. And those dreams involved a soulmate. Beomgyu wanted to fall in love with his soulmate, but not alone. Not like this.
Not if he was going to be the only one feeling the warmth on his chest and the tingles in his fingers every time they brushed hands.
Whether it's from the desire to be closer than allowed, or just the stress of not knowing where they stand, Beomgyu starts reacting poorly to the smallest things Taehyun says and does. The friendly things that don't feel that way for him.
He hates the magnetic pull he feels every time they are around each other. He hates Taehyun's burning touch when he catches him before he misses a step because he was daydreaming, Taehyun's sparkling eyes when he hears Beomgyu rant about a client's awful eye for colors and the importance of a good palette to boost a business, Taehyun's reassuring squeeze when he's nodding off on Yeonjun's couch during movie night -letting him know he can rest his head on his shoulder-.
Everything Taehyun does for him makes him burn from the inside out, the dumbest things. The things he would never ever think twice about if another close friend did for him.
So he starts acting like a brat, sometimes he even gets snappy.
Beomgyu doesn't count on his soulmate's straightforwardness, because he's too used to being the emotionally mature one. And he has to admit, he's been anything but that lately.
Hyun
Why do you keep antagonizing me?
You
Huh
funny
I wonder why that could be?
Hyun
I really don’t understand what your deal is
we were getting along just fine last week
did i do something?
You
Not fine enough, apparently
Hyun
What’s that supposed to mean?
We talk all the time
We hang out as friends all the time
You
Right.
I’m just saying that maybe
if you had been clearer from the start
I wouldn't have had all these expectations?
Hyun
About our friendship?
I told you from the start how busy I am
is this about me not replying to your texts?
because I swear it wasn't on purpose
it's just that last week with the accelerator going crazy
and being behind with the reports
you know i didn't mean to
you know you're my friend
i wouldn't ignore you on purpose
You
Stop saying that
stop saying we’re friends
you decided that on your own
Hyun
Wait, what?
You don’t want to be my friend?
You
I do
I did
Hyun
What?
You
I’m not sure anymore
Hyun
Why can’t you just speak your mind like a normal person?
You
So I’m not normal now?
Hyun
No, i'm sorry
That came out wrong
Please don’t twist my words
Just tell me what I did
So I can apologize properly and we can start over
I know this isn't like you
I'm not much like myself rn either
but if you tell me what's going on we can figure it out
You
It’s ok not to like me, you know?
I’m used to it
I just needed you to be upfront about it
Hyun
Hyung, what?
I don't understand
He turns his phone upside down. It's too much for him to handle right now. It's one thing to be in an unrequited bond, being quietly rejected after spending months of being friends and no flirting or seemingly clear intentions to establish a deeper relationship from Taehyun. All one-sided. It's another thing to be played with.
He feels played when Taehyun treats him so delicately, when he goes out of his way to make him feel listened to, to make him smile. Because that's it. That's all he wants. If only there was a clear boundary between them it would stop hurting so much.
After his ex, he had a hard time dealing with rejection though. So yes, Beomgyu was bitter about it, and yes, maybe he was picking up fights with Taehyun just to get his attention. He just didn't know how to deal with it. A one-sided fight might be too much, even for him, but he had already started the fire. He had to deal with the consequences now.
Beomgyu knows it's petty, but anyone who knew the shit he had gone through in his past relationship would understand. It was infuriating too.
Taehyun knew by now that Beomgyu cared for soulmates. And he knew he was his.
Taehyun had said all the stereotypical lies that most people try when meeting someone they hope are their soulmates after all.
The grass is blue, the day is sunny, tomatoes are delicious.
Anything obviously not right or about someone's physical appearance -like the color of their eyes being green instead of brown- and so on.
Everyone lies.
It's expected, really.
Beomgyu always lied about something small when meeting someone new -out of courtesy mostly- for the first time. The weather was his go-to lie. An easy one, and easy to pick up on.
When Taehyun had used that line on him he had been immediately on guard:
It's rainy today
A rainy day. It had been the perfect first meeting despite having had an awful day up until that point.
Beomgyu tried it right away, he had tried to say 'It's sunny today', and the truth had come out so smoothly instead. He was thrilled. Ecstatic, really.
The conversation was easy too, fun.
Taehyun had been so cute too when he was ranting to him. He had assumed out of nervousness of meeting his soulmate, but he's not so sure anymore. Maybe he was anxious because he was anti-soulmates, it would be just his luck. Or maybe he had been disappointed by Beomgyu later on.
In the end, he gives in.
He checks his texts, he can't ignore Taehyun for too long.
Hyun
Can i come over?
Hyung?
I can't leave things like this with you
I shouldn't have texted in the first place
We should talk about this in person
I'm sorry
Please let me know
I can be there in fifteen
I don't even know if you're reading these
You
Wait no!!
Taehyun-ah no
it’s ok
i'm ok
I'm just in a bad mood
Hyun
Beomgyu-hyung, are you sure?
are you ok?
You
I'm certain
i'm sorry too
for how i've been behaving lately
Hyun
No need to
i just worry
is everything ok?
you know you can talk to me, right?
You
ig i'm just sad
maybe its just
id rather be angry than upset
its not your fault
Hyun
Oh
Can i ask why?
You
Why i want to be angry?
Hyun
No
why you're upset
You
I expected differently
when i imagined meeting my soulmate
sorry that's not what i meant
it's fine now dw
i'll stop with the
you know
Hyun
Oh, I understand
it's ok, hyung
next time can you… tell me this instead?
i was worried you were mad at me for real
You
Sorry, i will
i do value your friendship
i shouldn't have taken it out on you like that