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“Come on, eat up,” the red haired young woman instructed as she poured feed.
“Baaaaaaah” the sheep replied to her.
“Don’t be a dramatic bitch on me, Flopsy,” the 17 year old responded. “Just eat.”
The sheep did as commanded. The young woman provided some pats as it dined.
“I’m gonna miss you, you asshole,” she told the sheep. “You’ll have to let someone else feed you for once. For a week at least.”
She sighed, having reminded herself of the trip she was procrastinating from preparing for. Of the experience she wasn’t quite sure she could actually be prepared for.
“Dani!” her mother called from the house, no doubt to remind her of said preparations.
“I’ll be right there, mom.” The young woman, Dani, called back to her.
She made no effort to actually leave, however, despite nothing needing her attention here, as Flopsy was enjoying her meal without needing any assistance from her.
“Danielle Shalifoe!” her mothers’ voice rang out again, sharper this time. The Texas twang, somewhat faded over the years, always seemed to come out in full force when she was in full mom-mode. “Young lady, I am in your room looking at a barely packed bag, and you need to leave in less than half an hour!”
“I said I’d be right there!” Dani shouted back, a little sharper herself.
She walked out of the small farm's animal enclosure and towards the house. Making sure to leave her shoes off in the hall, she entered the house, quickly making her way to the stairs.
“Better hurry,” a voice from the kitchen instructed her. “You got her in full mom mode.”
Dani turned to see her mom, her other mom, in the kitchen, sipping some coffee, her long, dark brown hair hanging loose.
“Yeah,” Dani weakly responded, turning back towards the stairs.
“Hey,” her mom called after her, concerned at the lack of enthusiasm in her voice. “You ok?”
“I’m fine, mom,” Dani responded, unconvincingly, not looking back as she trudged up the stairs.
She arrived at her room to find her mother, the one with long, flowing blond hair, setting out clothes on her bed next to her suitcase.
“So, this pile is warm weather, and this pile is cool weather. It’ll be pretty warm during the day, most of the time, but when that wind comes through, it gets pretty nippy.'
“Mom, I can do this myself,” Dani told her, mildly annoyed.
“I know you can, I’m just making some suggestions,” her mother continued, not appearing to register the annoyance. “Now, swimwear. I know you usually just go in your shorts and a sports bra, but remember, drying things out can be a bit tricky, so I thought you might wanna use this bathing suit. For shoes-“
“Mom!” Dani snapped. “I can do this without your help, OK?”
Her mother turned to her, surprised.
“O-ok, Dani,” She softly replied, and the hurt in her voice made Dani feel terrible almost immediately.
“I…I didn’t mean to..” She stammered.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” her mother replied, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder as she walked out to the room. “You get packed.”
Dani watched her leave, before taking a look around her room. She felt wistful, as if it was the last time she’d be seeing it for a long, long time. An over dramatic reaction to leaving for a week, but then, drama was something she’d learned from her mother, both intentionally and unintentionally.
In the scheme of things, it wasn’t all that long ago she’d come to this room for the first time. Just 8 years. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement. The latest in a series of foster homes. Taken out of an abusive home at an early age, Dani had grown accustomed to not staying anywhere longer than a few months at a time. The Shalifoes changed that. They managed to break through the hard exterior she had built to protect herself. The ‘temporary’ arrangement kept getting extended and extended, until one day she knew she wanted Shelby and Toni to be her parents, and they wanted her to be their daughter. Adoption paperwork made it official.
It wasn’t always perfect. No family can be. But Dani had lived everyday since then in a house filled with love. She promised never to take that for granted.
Maybe that’s why she decided to listen in when she heard her parents talking downstairs, to make sure they weren’t too upset with her.
“Did she snap at you?” She heard her mom ask, a little angry, a little concerned.
“Toni, let’s not make a deal out of it,” her mother replied. “We’re not gonna see or hear from her for a week, I don’t wanna start that with a fight.”
They were trying to speak softly, but sound carries in this old farmhouse, something they’d never seemed to learn.
“She’s been in a shit mood all week, Bee” her mom remarked, something Dani wouldn’t be able to deny.
“She’s probably just nervous,” her mother countered. “This trip is a big deal for her.”
“Maybe she’s just realizing this is all kind of fucking insane,” her mom muttered. “I know I am. I mean, we’re really sending our kids back to the same place we spent months trying to escape?”
“Babe, it’s a little late to back out now,” her mother reminded. “And she wants to do this, I know she does. She’s been asking to go for years. I don’t think her moods got anything to do with that. I think it might have to do with…who’s gonna be there.”
“Tala,” her mom replied with a sigh. “You’re talking about Tala.”
Dani’s throat tightened. Shit. She didn’t think her parents knew about that.
“I just know something happened with them,” her mother continued. “Last time we were all together they went from being besties to hardly even speaking.”
Dani almost wants to interject to remind her mother no one used the term ‘besties’ since she was Dani’s age.
“That girl,” her mom replied in a disapproving tone. “I love her, but I swear to god, she got the bad sides of both her moms.”
Dani was torn between wanting to defend her friend and to fist bump her mom in agreement.
“Well, some would argue our girl got the same deal,” her mother teased. “I think she picked up on your stubbornness and my gift for over analyzing.”
“See, now, for her, I think that’s part of what makes her awesome,” her mom responded with pride.
Dani couldn’t help but smirk a little at that. She didn’t really disagree.
“They’re talking about you,” a small voice whispered from behind Dani. She turned to see a short figure with dark brown hair standing in the hallway.
“I know that, Bex,” Dani informed her little sister.
Her sister simply smiled at her and invited herself into the room, climbing onto her bed to peer into the suitcase.
“You’re bringing books? To an island?” She asked incredulously.
“You can still read on an Island, gremlin,” Dani informed her sister.
“But why would you? There’s gonna be so much cool stuff to see and do!” Her sister began to bounce on the bed. “And you’ll be hanging out with everybody! Why would you wanna leave them to go read?”
“Well, I might want a little alone time,” Dani said as she put more clothes into her suitcase, the idea of being around ‘everybody’ making her a little anxious.
“If I could go, I’d be too busy having adventures to read,” her sister excitedly told her, before becoming sad and pouty. “I wish I could go.”
Dani looked at her sympathetically. “I know, Bex, but this is a big kid trip only. Besides, someone’s gotta stay here to look after Flopsy and the other animals. And Mom and Momma. You gotta keep them sane till I get back, ok?”
Her sister smiled at her. “Ok.”
Dani smiled back. She remembered when her sister had first arrived. Just a couple years after Dani had made a home with the Shalifoes, when they brought home a baby. A foundling, only a few months old, that Dani’s former social worker had asked Shelby and Toni to look after for a while. Much like had happened with Dani, after only a short while they realized they wanted her to be a part of their family.
Dani was jealous at first. Jealous that the baby would only know Shelby and Toni as her parents. Jealous that they might love the new baby more because she’d feel more like there’s. They caught onto this quickly, however, and made it perfectly clear to Dani that they loved her just as much, and she would always be their first daughter. Dani got over her jealousy, and now only saw her sister when she looked at the child in front of her. Her obnoxious, nosy, and delightfully goofy sister.
“Will you tell everyone I say hi?” Her sister asked her.
“Of course,” Dani assured her. “They’ll all miss you.”
“Will you bring me back a goat?” She asked excitedly.
Dani laughed. “I don’t think there are any goats left. I’ll bring you back some seashells, how about that.”
“Fine,” her sister responded, playfully pouting.
“Becca,” her mothers voice sweetly came from the doorway. “You need to let your sister pack. Why don’t you show your mom your new Spider-Man toys?”
“Okay, momma,” Becca cheerfully obeyed, and hopped off the bed to go collect her toys.
Her mother smiled as she left, then turned back to Dani, awkwardly fidgeting with her blonde hair as she spoke. “You almost all packed?”
“Just about, yeah,” Dani replied, not looking up from her suitcase.
There was brief, uncomfortable silence. Her mother finally broke it. “Is everything alright?” She asked.
“Everything’s fine, mom,” Dani said in a very un-reassuring voice.
“You know there’s nothing in this world you could tell me that would make me or your mom love you one iota less, right?” Her mother told her assuringly.
Dani’s heart felt very full at that. She did know that, but it was nice to hear it.
“Even if I said you cheat at Mortal Kombat 25?” She said with a smirk.
Her mother smiled back, thinking fondly about their wholesome mother/daughter activity of ripping out each other's spines and tearing off one another’s limbs in their favorite video game.
“Even that. Though I’d have to ground you for making up such terrible lies about your own mother.”
Dani chuckled “I, uh, I just need to get a couple more things, then I’ll be ready, ok?”
“Okay, baby,” her mother said sweetly. “I’m right downstairs if you need anything.”
Her mother turned to leave then stopped, and turned back.
“Just, let me say this one thing, and I’ll get out of your hair,” she said. “Where you’re going…there’s a lot of beauty. Lot of terrible things too, but you won’t have to worry about that. But the most beautiful thing on that island was freedom. Bit ironic since it turned out we were actually captives, but, well….”
Her mother looked like she was vaguely embarrassed to have mentioned the ‘experiment’. She very rarely brought it up, at least in front of Dani.
“What I’m trying to say is,” she continued. “I know you might feel there are these…expectations on you. Hopefully not from me or your mom, but from the world. Things have changed a lot since we were your age, but maybe not enough. Out there, you’ll be free. You should take advantage of that.”
Dani looked at her mother, surprised that the woman who fretted anytime she or her sister had so much as paper cut was encouraging a bit of…wildness.
“Just…maybe not too much advantage,” her mother added. Dani smirked. Still her momma.
With that, her mother turned and left. Dani thought about her words for a moment, before gathering the last few things she had to pack. A hat, sunglasses, a water bottle. She double checked she had everything she would need.
Well, if I forgot anything, I’ll still have more than they did , she reminded herself.
She zipped up her bag and took it off the bed. Time to get this show on the road, as her mother would say.
She carried her bag to the stairs. As she did, she took note of the photos that lined the wall of the stairway. Photos of the family, the extended family. Not her mothers biological families, neither of whom she had ever met. Their real family. The Unsinkables.
At the top of the stairs was the most recent photo of the group, taken at their most recent gathering. The eight women who had once been known as the Unsinkable Eight tried to gather their individual families from across the country at least four times a year. It had become a slightly more difficult task as the group's children were now mostly teens with lives of their own. Still, they all made it a priority to be together whenever they could.
As Dani went down the stairs, the photos moved backwards in time, to gatherings from years past. Children and partners began to vanish from the photos until it was only the eight women. She paused at one such photo. Her parents' wedding. Her aunts Rachel and Leah as her mother’s bridesmaids. Her Aunts Martha and Nora as her mom’s groomswomen. Her aunt Dot having walked her mother down the aisle. Her aunt Fatin having officiated. All of them looking so damn happy.
Dani smiled at the picture and continued on down the stairs. She paused at the last picture in the line, the first if you were ascending the stairs. Taken only a few weeks after the group had arrived back on the mainland, having escaped the experiment known as The Dawn of Eve. There are only seven of them in the picture. The reconnection and reconciliation with their eighth member would not occur until later, when they would learn of what she had done to aid in that escape.
She looks at the faces of her mothers and their friends, her honorary aunts. Unlike the other photos, there isn’t much happiness in their faces. They’re clearly weary and shaken, traumatized. There’s also a clear sense of relief, however. Not just a relief to be free, to be alive. A relief to still be together.
That bond, that unshakeable trust and love in one another, has endured for 30 years. Dani can’t help but be in awe of that,
She turned away from the photo and went into the living room, where her mom was sitting on the floor with her sister, playing with Spider-Man toys.
“So this isn’t Peter Parker?” Her mom asked, holding one of the action figures. “Or Miles Morales?”
“Noooo,” Becca informed her. “This is the new new new Spider-Man. J. Stacy. They’re Miles and Gwen's kid.”
“Dang, I’ve missed a lot,” her mom mused.
Dani watched them in silence for a moment, thinking about how much she would miss her family, even for a week.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Her mother gently squeezed her and smiled, sneaking up from behind, before turning her attention to her mom and sister on the floor.
“Toni, if you’re gonna get this one to the airport, you probably outta get going,” she gently informed her wife.
“Your mother’s right, as always. We’ve still gotta pick up your cousin” her mom replied, getting up. “Give your sister a big hug, Becca.”
Becca did as commanded, getting up and squeezing her sister tight. “I’m gonna miss you,” she mumbled in Dani’s stomach. “But not too much.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Dani replied, hugging her back. “But not too much.”
“Y’all are both terrible liars, you know that,” Her mother playful scolded them, before turning directly to Dani. “You remember the number one rule, right?”
Dani nodded. “Always listen to Aunt Dot.”
Her mother smiled. “You do that, you’ll be just fine,” she said, before pulling Dani into a tight hug. “I love you more than the moon and stars, Dani. Always will.”
Dani squeezed her mother back, feeling a sudden overwhelming sense of gratitude to have her in her life.
“I love you too, momma,” she told her.
“You haven’t called me that in a long while,” her momma replied, sounding a little choked up. “Thought you were too cool.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I can be lame sometimes too,” Dani joked.
They unglued from one another, and her mother smiled at her, eyes a little watery, before slowly letting her go and turning to her mom.
“You drive safe,” she instructed.
“I always do,” her mom replied.
“Toni,” her mother questioned with a raised eyebrow, likely referring to her mom taking speed limits as suggestions, at least on the back country roads they lived on. .
“I always do when one of them is in the car,” her mom conceded. Her mother seemed to accept that. “After I drop them off I’ll swing by the grocery, then come get you two for dinner at Marty’s. Sound good?’
“Sounds perfect,” her mother cheerfully replied. Her mom nodded back. Then she looked at her wife for a moment before taking her hand.
‘Hey,” she said softly, delicately. “I love you.”
Her mother smiled, and for a moment, it was very easy for Dani to see her as the love struck teenager she had been when she first got together with her mom.
“I love you, Toni,” her mother replied happily.
Something Dani had noticed early on was that each day, without fail, whether they were having a good day, a bad day, if they were busy, if they were fighting, no matter what, her mom would be sure to tell her mother she loved her. Not a simple tossed off ‘love you’ either. She’d always make sure she was looking her right in the eye. Dani asked her about once.
“Keeping a promise,” her mom explained. “Making up for the days I should have said it but didn’t.”
Dani watched happily as her mom kissed her mother, an unmistakable passion still there despite the routine.
“Gross!” her sister jokingly interjected.
Her mom smirked and went over to her, tousling her hair. “Yeah, but you love gross stuff. You be good for your mother while I’m gone, Spider-Girl.” She then turned to Dani. Her expression became more serious. “You ready?” she asked.
“Uh-huh,” Dani replied, not sounding fully convinced, she realized.
Her mom seemed to notice this, but nonetheless, led her out the front door.
“Give everyone our love,” her mother called after her. “And don’t be afraid to use the sat phone if you need anything!”
Dani waved back to her, before following her mom out the door. They walked to the garage, past the pick up truck, and to the minivan that transported the family most places they needed to go. Dani threw her bag in the back, before climbing in the passenger seat. Her mom climbed into the driver's seat. She gave her a quick look, as if to say “you sure?”. Dani didn’t respond to it. After a moment's pause, her mom turned on the car, and drove off down the road.
They sat in silence for a bit. Things had been just slightly tense between them of late. Dani was very close to both her parents, but she had always been a little closer to her mom, in part due to their similar upbringings. These similarities had allowed them to really connect when Dani was younger. As a teenager, however, Dani had begun to push back. Toni liked to be a hands-on parent, wanted to know everything Dani was doing, and Dani had reached the stage in life where she wanted more independence. This had led to them butting heads from time to time.
Still, Dani knew her mom loved her and just wanted her to be happy. She hoped her mom knew she loved her back, even if she didn’t say it as often as her mom said it to her mother.
Dani studied her mom’s profile for a moment as they drove. There were certain things that showed her age. Small bits of gray sprinkled in her dark brown hair. A small line or two in her face. In certain moments, however, when the light of the sun hit her just right through the car window, Dani feels like she can clearly see her mom as the scared and angry 17 year old that found herself trapped on the island Dani was now going to willingly.
Her mom seemed to notice her staring and glanced over for a moment. “Everything ok?”
“Yeah,” Dani replied, flustered, looking away.
There was another brief silence.
“You know, you don’t have to go,” she suddenly offered.
“Huh?” Dani questioned.
“You don’t have to go. It’s fine. We can say you’re sick, drop your cousin off at the airport, and take you back home,” her mom explained.
“Mom..” Dani said softly
“Just saying, you don’t have to do this just cause everyone else is,” her mom told her. “We can eat the plane tickets. We barely had to pay for them anyway.”
“Mom, stop,’ Dani said gently. “I want to do this. I really do. It was practically my idea. Mine and…Tala’s” she continued, hoping her mother didn’t pick up on her hesitation to say that name. “I’m just…nervous. Now that it’s real. Now that it’s here.”
Her mom looked at her sympathetically for a moment, before turning her eyes back to the road. “I get that,” was the simple comfort she offered. “For what it’s worth, it’s gonna be totally fine. You’ll have sat phones, med kits, food, sleeping bags, tents, everything we didn’t have. It’s not gonna be the same island for you guys.”
“You sound jealous,” Dani teased.
“Maybe a little,” her mom replied with a chuckle. “That place might have been really nice without the threat of death. And if we knew we could leave.”
“Have you been back at all?” Dani asked her.
“Twice,” her mom informed her. “Never to stay, like you’re doing. A few of us went before the trial, try to help show where things went down. Then about a year before you came to us, we got asked to do the same thing to help sort out the ownership fiasco.”
Dani was vaguely aware of the latter case. The ownership of the island was a massive legal dispute between various governments and other interested parties that had taken nearly all of the 30 years since the unsinkables departure from the island to sort out.
“What about the second island?” Dani asked, cautiously. “The one with the bunker?”
Her mom was silent for a moment.
“No. We’ve never been back there. Never will.”
Dani heard the firmness in her voice. She knew she should leave it there, but could help but push on, wondering if this might finally be the chance.
“You never talk about that island,” she observed. “I’ve heard so many stories about the first island, good and bad. But nothing about what happened there. Not from you, anyway.”
Her mom gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
“Leah’s book is coming out this year,” she replied in a low voice. “You can get the details there.”
“Ok, but I wanna hear your side of it,” Dani argued.
“My goddamn side of it is it’s the fucking past and we should leave it fucking dead,” her mom suddenly snapped. Dani was taken aback. Her mom’s temper was not foreign to her, but she knew that she took great pains to make sure it was never directed towards her or her sister.
“I’m sorry, mom,” Dani replied sheepishly.
Guilt immediately fell across her mom’s face.
“No, no, I’m sorry, Dani,” she replied, her voice slightly shaky. “I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”
“It’s fine, really,” Dani assured her. “I shouldn’t have pressed it.”
“You’re just curious,” her mom assured her back. “How couldn’t you be. After all this time. I just…”
Her mom paused again. There was a look in her eyes. Like she’d just woken up from a terrible dream and needed to know the world was still there.
“That first island…it’s strange,” her mom explained, sounding far away. “Some of the worst days of my life happened there. But also some of the best. And sometimes it was the same damn day.”
She stopped, like she was trying to keep something in. Like she was scared of revealing too much.
“But the other island. It was all bad. There were no good days there.”
Dani was done pressing, even though she wanted to know more, even if it wasn’t pleasant. The exact details of what went down on that island were not a matter of public record. The government had insisted the trial of Gretchen Klein not be televised and the record sealed for 30 years, which was why, despite being a prolific author, Leah's book on the subject was only coming out now.
The ostensible reasoning for this was to protect those involved in the experiment, given they were mostly minors. The real reason, as she had heard her mom tell friends, was that they were covering their asses. That a group of American children had been more or less abducted and held on not one, but three remote islands was enough of an embarrassment. That further scrutiny would doubtless reveal that this was only possible with either gross negligence on the part of the intelligence apparatus, or more likely, with active cooperation from one or more parties on the inside, made the government determined to keep the details under wraps.
The unsinkables hadn’t been happy about being asked to keep what they had been through a secret, even if they weren’t exactly happy to talk about it. They agreed with three assurances from the government. One, that Gretchen Klein and her associates would spend the rest of their lives in prison. Two, that the experiment itself, any findings or research from it, would be buried and forgotten, to ensure she never got any validation for what she had put them all through.
Third, that they would have support in their lawsuit against those who had funded the experiment. The resulting windfall was substantial enough that her mom’s were fond of telling Dani how it not only took care of college for the two of them, it would do the same for Dani and Becca.
Dani was almost amused. She knew almost everything about the effort to make sure she knew nothing about the island.
As it was, only certain details were fully known to the public, or even to the group's children. Details such as who made it off the island. Thinking about that made Dani realize why her mom wouldn’t want to talk about it.
“I lied,” her mom admitted, breaking the silence between them. “Two good things happened on the second island.”
“Yeah?” Dani asked curiously.
Her mom nodded her head. “First, I got your aunt Martha back. Then, I got your mother back. And I never let either of them go again.”
Almost as if on cue, they pulled into the driveway of a large house about 20 minutes away from their own.
Her mom lightly tapped on the horn several times to signal their arrival.
“Classy,” Dani teased her.
“What? We’re family!” Her mom responded, almost sheepishly. “No need to be formal.”
Dani grinned and her mom grinned back. After a moment, the door opened, and a woman her mothers age, similar dark hair with small streaks of white, emerged, a gentle smile on her face. She gave a friendly wave to the car.
Dani waved back to her aunt Martha.
Martha smiled at them a moment longer then turned back to the house.
“Marcus!” She called. “They’re here!”
Another moment before a young man, over a foot taller than his mother, rushed to the door, bag draped over his shoulder, a giant smile on his face and the enthusiasm of a young beagle.
He and his mother both made their way towards the van. Dani rolled down her window to greet them both.
Marcus arrived first. Built like a linebacker, the dark haired young man didn’t seem like his mother’s son at first glance. The warmth in his eyes and his cheerful smile quickly removed any doubt of his parentage.
“Hey, Dani!’ He said with an amount of excitement more befitting someone Becca’s age. “Hey, Aunt Toni!”
“Hey, cuz,” Dani greeted him with a smile. Despite not being related by blood, even if Dani were her mother’s biological child, Marcus had treated her like family from day one. After she adjusted to his unwavering excitement and energy, she came to view him the same, often feeling closer to siblings than cousins.
“Hop on in, bud,” Toni cheerfully told him. “After you say goodbye to your mom, of course.”
“Right!” Marcus replied before giving his mother a big hug. “Bye, mom.”
“Bye, honey,” Martha responded, squeezing him back. “Look after your cousin and the others. And don’t forget the number one rule.”
“Always listen to Dot,” Marcus finished the thought. Dani chuckled. Good to know it was a universal rule.
Marcus let go of his mother and climbed into the back of the van. Martha peered her head into Dani’s window.
“Hey, sweetie,” she greeted her niece warmly. “Are you excited?”
“Yeah,” Dani responded with a nod, feeling a little more sincere now.
“You be safe, and have so much fun,” Martha instructed her, before turning her attention to Toni. “And the rest of you three are coming over for dinner?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Toni informed her.
Martha smiled. “Drive safe. Precious cargo here, you know.”
“I know,” Toni responded. “I’ll text you when they’re at the airport.”
Martha nodded and stepped away from the van. Toni pulled out, Martha waving as they drove off, heading for the airport.
For most of the drive, Marcus mainly filled any potential silence with talk about the vegetation he was hoping to identify, and his hopes for discovering pockets of animal life still residing. Dani tried to gently remind him that 30 years of climate change would have likely had a negative effect on plant and wildlife alike. Marcus was undeterred.
They arrived at the airport with time to spare for the flight to California.
“Marcus, bud, you wanna do me a favor and get the bags out of the car?” Toni requested. “And make a big show of it so nobody hassles me for being her for just a second while I talk to your cousin.”
“Can do!” Marcus cheerfully obliged and got out of the car. Dani looked at her mother, slightly nervously. Her mother looked nervous too, gripping the steering wheel and staring out the window for a moment. Then, she turned to Dani, a determined look on her face.
“Let me just say two things,” she told Dani, in her own version of the ‘mom-voice. “First; 90% of the problems your mom and I have ever had have come from poor communication. If you’re having issues with…anyone, try telling them how you feel. Even if it’s messy. Being silent at the wrong time can do a lot of damage, believe me.”
Dani was a bit taken aback. She hadn’t really been expecting relationship advice in this moment. She considered denying there were any issues to talk about, but she knew her mom had a strong BS detector and it would be useless to try and get past it now.
“Second,” her mom continued, a bit more hesitation in her voice. “When you get back, we’ll tell you about the second island. The full story. If you want. But for now, try not to think about that. Just appreciate these couple weeks. This time with your friends, away from the so-called real world. You guys can have the best version of what we had. That’s all we’ve ever wanted for you. All of the good days. None of the bad. So just try and focus on the good, ok?”
Dani considered her words. “Okay, mom,” she replied sincerely, smiling.
Her mom smiled back at her, then pulled her in over the seat for a tight hug.
“I love you so goddamn much, kid,” she told her.
Dani chuckled. “Swear jar. I’m telling momma.”
Her mom laughed. “Narc.”
“I love you too, Mom,” Dani told her.
They unhooked from one another and squeezed each other's hands. With that Dani got out of the car. She picked up her bag and she and Marcus waved at Toni one last time before heading into the airport.
A few hours later they were in another airport, this time in San Francisco. Sitting at a gate for a flight to Peru, Dani scanned the crowds, awaiting the arrival of others. Feeling excitement towards seeing two of them. Feeling something she couldn’t quite unpack towards seeing the other.
“Think anyone’s gonna realize what we’re doing?” Marcus interrupts her scanning. “All of us together, heading in that direction?”
Dani shook her head. “Dude, it’s been a while since anybody talked about The Dawn Of Eve. It’s not like after the documentaries, where we had to dodge the press for a bit.”
“I guess,” Marcus rescinded, almost sadly, like he wouldn’t mind a little fame. “I wonder if aunt Leah’s book will change that.”
“Maybe,” Dani contemplated. “Not too much I hope. I’m not really looking to be a celebrity. Not like, well, you know who.”
Marcus nodded. “I wonder why she’s not here yet. She would’ve had the shortest trip to get here, from Los Angeles and all.”
“I dunno,” Dani shrugged. “She better show up soon though, we start boarding in like 15 minutes. Her and the-”
“It’s them!” Marcus excitedly interrupted her, waving his hand as two new arrivals approached the gate. As if called on cue, the Reid cousins arrived.
Dani stood up to meet them. “Hey, Court,” she greeted the shorter of the pair with a hug.
“Hey yourself,” Courtney Reid responded. With her short, slightly stocky frame and thick glasses, the young woman didn’t immediately resemble her mother. Her eyes and her warm smile, however, made it obvious to anyone who knew them both that she was Rachel Reid’s daughter.
“Quinn, good to see you,” Dani gave a hug to her other friend. They more closely resembled their own mother, especially around the eyes, though they stood a bit taller, hair darker, features a bit more androgynous.
“You too, Dani,” Quinn replied. They stepped back and joined their cousin. Much like Dani and Marcus, the two of them behaved more like siblings than cousins, something she knew their mothers appreciated, as their own relationship as sisters had taken some time to rebuild.
“I was worried you guys might not make it,” Marcus told them.
“Had some storms in New York,” Courtney explained. “Delayed our flight a little bit.”
“Shouldn’t have affected any other flights, though,” Quinn mused. “Where’s-”
“What’s up my bitches!” a familiar voice called through the airport, as if waiting for a cue. A tall young woman with short black hair, a guitar on her back, strolled down the terminal as if she owned it.
Tala Jadmani-Rilke.
If there was one member of the group who’s biological parentage was unmistakable, it was Tala. The spitting image of Fatin when she had been the group's age, the young woman had more than her share of her personality as well. She also had more of her other mother in her than she tended to let on.
The others gathered around to greet her. Dani held back. At the moment, she was having a flashback to the first time she’d met the girl back when they were more or less little kids.
One of the extended ‘families’ gatherings. The first one Dani had been to. Tala sized her up, curiously.
“How can Shelby and Toni have a kid my age that I’ve never met?” She asked, not really to Dani, more thinking out loud. “Oh, duh! You’re adopted!” She answered her own question, matter of factly.
“Screw you!” Dani replied to her, and ran off. She had already been insecure, knowing she was the only non-biological child of the group, at that point at least. Having it rubbed in her face hurt.
“Mom, she said a bad word to me!’ Tala tattled to her parents.
“Well, honey, you kind of deserved it,” Fatin replied, equally matter of factly. “Just because something’s obvious doesn’t mean you need to say it.”
“Where’d she learn that from, I wonder,” Leah teased.
“My love, you know perfectly well we are a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ family,” Fatin responded.
A little later, Tala found Dani, sulking in a corner.
“My moms said to tell you I’m sorry,” Tala reluctantly told her.
“You don’t need to say it just cause they told you to,” Dani responded dismissively.
“Good, cause I’m not,” Tala replied bluntly. “I just don’t see why it’s a bad thing. So you’re adopted. I think that’s cool! Shelby and Toni are two of the coolest people in the world. If they choose you, out of all the kids out there, you’re probably pretty cool too.”
Dani smiled at that. She liked that way of thinking about it.
“Wanna come write a song with me?” Tala asked her. “I’m writing a musical about our parents and the island.”
“Okay,” Dani replied with some hesitation, but also excitement.
That first meeting, with Tala making her feel both hurt and happy, self conscious and proud, was more or less how Dani felt seeing her now.
After hugging the others, Tala awkwardly stood before Dani.
“Hey, Dee,” she said softly.
“Hey, T,” Dani responded, barely above a whisper.
They did not hug. There was a moments awkward silence.
“How’s my baby Becca?” Tala asked.
“She’s good,” Dani said. “She misses you. Misses all of you.”
“Aw,” Tala replied. “Tell her I’m gonna have a new song for her when we get back.”
“She’ll like that,” Dani said. “She loves your songs.”
Tala was the only member of the group who embraced the small level of fame that came with the connection to the infamous experiment. A budding songwriter, she had developed a small following online.
“I’ve been working on some new stuff you might like too,” Tala continued, a little sheepishly. “Maybe we could-”
“Good evening, everyone,” the intercom interrupted that thought. “We are about to begin boarding flight 4105, non-stop to Lima, Peru. We will be allowing our first class cabin to board-”
“That’s us,” Dani informed Tala and the others, and picked up her bag to get in line to board, aware of Tala’s eyes on her the entire time.
A long plane ride later, and a short stay in a hotel in Peru, the group found themselves on a private boat. It was late at night, the moon reflecting off the water. The group sat out on the deck, Marcus telling Courtney and Quinn about his lacrosse team, while Tala strummed a familiar song
“ Inside you
The time moves
And she don’t fade
The ghost in you
She don’t fade”
The song was old even when their parents were young. Dani knew it was one of Tala's mothers favorites, however, and that she’d learned it for her. She wondered if the trip was making it easier to put herself in her mother’s shoes, just as Dani was trying to do with her own parents
“I can’t believe we’re gonna have this place all to ourselves,” Marcus said in his usual chipper tone. “I can’t believe no one’s turned it into resorts or anything.”
“The legal battles made that pretty difficult,” Quinn explained. “It’s sort of a miracle it got sorted out enough for us to be allowed there at all.”
“Besides,” Courtney added. “I don’t know if people would be clamoring to stay somewhere a bunch of kids were basically held hostage.”
“Dude, white people love to vacation at sites of atrocities,” Tala dryly joked, pausing her song. “I think it’s more due to the fact that in a couple years, the rising sea levels will make it uninhabitable. Good we’re getting there while we can.”
Dani had been staring out at the water, admiring the vast emptiness of it all, when she spotted something in the distance. A light. She knew they were still a bit off from their destination, so it wasn’t that. It was close, however. Very close.
“Guys,” she alerted the others. “Is that what I think it is?.”
The others all gathered closer to the railing to view the ghostly light.
“Woah,” Courtney said in an awed whisper. “That’s…”
“The other island,” Quinn finished their cousin’s thought. “The one with the bunker.”
“The one they thought they got brought to when they thought they’d been rescued,” Tala mused. “The one they got abandoned on.”
Dani simply nodded her head. The group stared out at the island for a long moment. As if they were staring at a cursed place, filled with ghosts. Not out of the question, as far as Dani was concerned.
“I think I’m gonna go to the other side of the boat,” Marcus awkwardly broke the silence, clearly uncomfortable dwelling on it too much. “Get a better view of the stars.” Dani wasn’t sure if her cousin knew anything more or less about that island than she did. They’d never talked about it. She imagined his mother didn’t have anything more pleasant to say about it than her own mothers had.
“I’ll come with,” Quinn offered, a note of discomfort in their own voice.
“Same,” Courtney echoed.
They began to head to the opposite side of the boat. Tala began to join them, before turning back to Dani.
“You coming?” She asked, hopefully.
Dani shook her head. “I’m gonna stay here a second,” she replied, not looking away from the island even as its light began to grow dimmer.
Tala looked at her for a moment, almost seeming to want to say something, before turning away and following the others.
Dani continued to stare intently at the island. In spite of her mothers request, she couldn’t help but be drawn back into it.
She thought about her parents and ‘aunts’ time there. How it must have been frightening to realize you were once again trapped, but this time with new strangers. This time trapped intentionally. This time, with a very human threat.
She thought, for the first time in a long while, about the young men they had shared that island with. She knew very little about them. They were not considered a part of the family. She had met one of them at some social gathering a few years ago. She knew her parents were on relatively friendly terms, if not particularly close, with him, along with two of the other former male castaways. There was a fourth that she knew they had not spoken to since leaving the island.
The other four had not made it off the second island alive.
Dani took a deep breath at the memory of that. It brought back a memory of her own. A conversation between her and her parents, not long after she was adopted, while she was still adjusting to thinking of them as her mother and her mom, and not just Shelby and Toni.
“Danielle, picking a fight?” Her mother had demanded, more concerned than angry. “That hasn’t been a problem in so long, sweetie.”
“Yeah, we’ve talked about this,” her mom had interjected. “You don’t start fights. You finish them.”
“Toni,” her mother reprimanded her mom. “What your mom means to say is that you should be trying to solve your problems with words.”
Dani continued to avoid her mothers eyes. “They were making fun of you,” she finally admitted.
Her mother and her mom looked at each sadly, then back at Dani. “Well, baby, some people just think that way” Her mother gently tried to assure her. “It’s gotten a lot better since we were your age, but it’s still there. It’s the reason you’ve never met your grandpa,” she sadly informed her.
“No, it wasn’t that,” Dani assured her mothers, a year away from coming out herself. “It was…it was about the island. The islands, I guess.”
Her parents looked at each other again, this time more obviously concerned.
“Those fucking documentaries,” her mom muttered.
“Swear jar, Toni,” her mother gently reminded her. “Dani, you know we’re kinda famous. It hasn’t been an issue in a while, but I guess people might start talking about us more. I wouldn’t think kids your age would have heard much about it, but I don’t know how the internet works anymore.”
“One girl said you ate people,” Dani admitted, a little nervously.
Both her parents seemed oddly relieved at that, amused even.
“Yeah, they’ve been watching too much TV,” her mom assured her.
Dani wasn’t finished. “Another one said that you worked for the bad people that set up the whole thing,” she said, pointing at Shelby. She then pointed at Toni. “And she said you killed somebody.”
Her parents' briefly amused faces quickly became very serious. Her mom looked away from her, like she’d just remembered a part of her life she had tried not to live with. It was obvious to Dani neither one of them had really moved on from whatever happened
Her mother took a deep breath.
“Things got..” she stammered. “Things got very complicated. I…I made a choice. A deal. To try and keep your mom, and your aunt Martha, and all our friends safe. And when I tried to use some of what I got from that deal to try and get us home, it put me in the cross hairs of a very, very bad person. And when he tried to ki—when he tried to hurt me, your mom made a choice of her own. She protected me.”
Dani remembered Shelby squeezing Toni’s hand as Toni kissed hers, her eyes clearly fighting tears.
“That’s what your mom does, Dani,” Shelby continued. “That’s what this family does. We protect the people we love.”
Dani thought about that moment, about the shame and fear in her parents eyes. She knew they thought it would make her think less of them. It did the opposite. She’d spent most of her life with people who didn’t seem to give a shit about anyone or anything, least of all her. Knowing she had two mothers who would do just about anything for the people they loved, and knowing she was included in that, it made her feel safe.
“You good?” a voice gently asked from behind her, breaking her out of her memory. She turned to see Courtney.
“Yeah,” Dani replied, unconvincingly.
“You want a cookie?” Courtney offered her, taking out a backpack filled to the brim with snacks. “ Brownie? Snickerdoodle? My mom packed me way too many snacks as usual.”
Dani smiled at that. It was a well known fact amongst the group that Rachel loved making sure the kids never had empty stomachs.
“I’m good,” Dani replied politely. “Not too hungry at the moment.”
“I get that,” Courtney responded.
Dani glanced at the cross necklace around her friend's neck. She’d learned not long ago it had once belonged to her own mother, gifted to Courtney’s mother to offer her some comfort. Knowing it had been passed down, that the connection was still there, made her feel that much closer to her friend. Close enough that she lets her guard down a bit.
“It’s just weird, you know, being out here,” Dani admitted . “Kind of reminds you that it all really happened. That it’s not just a story they tell us.”
“Some of our parents have pretty big reminders that it’s not just a story,” Courtney gently reminded her. Dani instantly recalled her aunt's prosthetic hand and felt guilty to have looked it over.
“Oh, shit, I didn’t mean-” She stammered.
‘It’s cool,” Courtney assured her. “It’s not like she would ever want that to be the first thing you think about when you think about her.”
Dani nodded, sympathetically. “I-” she awkwardly and cautiously continued. “I am just a little surprised she let you come. Given all that.”
“Well, I’m not allowed to swim in the ocean,” Courtney bleakley joked. “No, she had mixed feelings. But she said she did want me to see this place. See where our old family nearly fell apart. See where our new family began.”
“My mom said something similar,” Quinn interjected, arriving suddenly to Dani’s surprise. “She said she wanted me to see why she thought this place could help my aunt. Why it could help all our parents. She also wanted me to see why it was wrong of her to help keep them here.”
Dani thought on her friend's words for a moment. Thought about how, as heavy as the significance of the island was for her parents, its significance had to be even greater for the Reids.
“What about you,” Courtney inquired. “Anything your parents wanted you to get out of this.”
“Honestly,” Dani admitted, a little embarrassed. “I think they just wanted me to see where they fell in love.”
“Ditto, bitch,” Tala said as she walked back to the group. “Different parents, same sort of idea.”
Dani’s brow furrowed. She felt like she’d heard something like that before.
“Marcus has some constellations he wants to show you guys,” Tala continued. “I wanna steal Dani for a second. If that’s cool.”
Courtney looked back at her friend, as if silently asking is it?
Dani nodded. The cousins headed back to the other side of the boat while Tala stood next to Dani. They both looked out at the sea for a moment.
“Getting the silent treatment from you has really sucked, you know,” Tala finally spoke.
“I’m not chatty when I travel,” Dani sullenly replied.
“I’m not talking about the trip,” Tala responded. “We used to talk like everyday, now I’m lucky if you even respond to my texts.”
“Well, last time we were together, you didn’t seem to want to talk,” Dani bitterly reminded her. “Definitely didn’t want to talk about what happened.”
Tala swallowed hard.
“It was just,” She struggled for words. “It was weird timing. I mean, we were on vacation with our parents!”
“I never asked you to talk about it at family brunch, Tala!” Dani snapped. “I wanted you to talk to me about it. That’s it. But you couldn’t do that.”
“Dani..” Tala softly replied.
“Look, I thought it meant something, clearly I was wrong,” Dani snapped. “It didn’t matter to you. Fine. Let’s leave it there.”
“It mattered to me,” Tala replied, voice shaky. “It still matters to me. A lot.”
Dani looked hard into Tala’s eyes. She saw sincerity and regret. She saw fear.
“When my mom gave me the birds and the bees talk,” Tala explained. “She warned me about how when she was my age, she had a tendency to get way too obsessed. To see love where it wasn’t. She said it was because of that that it took her and my mother way too long to sort out their bullshit. She warned me not to let myself get too attached to easily, or I’d get hurt. I know she was just trying to look out for me, but I think it kinda scared me.”
She took a deep breath and continued.
“So when I really started to feel that way for the first time, especially for someone I cannot lose, I got spooked. And I tried to shut it down.” She looked Dani in the eyes, tenderly. “Didn’t work though.”
Dani looked back at Tala, softening. She’d spent much of the last couple months afraid that a night that was incredibly special for her was just a notch in the belt of the girl that she thought of as her best friend, and so much more. She had to reconsider that now.
“Tala, I-”
“We don’t have to figure it out now,” Tala interrupted her. “We’ve got two weeks. It’s a big island. We should have lots of chances to talk. But let’s actually talk, okay? Even if you’re pissed at me. I can deal with you being pissed at me as long as you talk to me.”
Dani nodded, feeling hopeful for the first time since the night they’d spent together.
“Yeah. Yeah, we’ll talk,” she replied eagerly. “And I’m not pissed at you. Not anymore, at least.”
Tala smiled. The smile that always seemed to make Dani feel like she could turn into a puddle.
“By the way, I’m working on something,” Tala told her. “A project we started a long time ago.”
She took out her phone and showed Dani a track list.
“No way,” Dani exclaimed. “Our musical?”
“Refining it a little, not that we didn’t bring down the house back in the day,” Tala admitted. “Hoping to get some more inspiration while we’re there. And some help from my songwriting partner.”
“I think I can do that,” Dani replied with a smirk. “I like the name, too.”
“Oh yeah,” Tala chuckled. “Same name as my mom’s book. The Wilds.”
Dani nodded. The name seemed to fit.
“You know, I asked her once, if it’s hard,” Tala continued. “To deal with the fact that our family owes its existence to this horrible thing. This experiment. She told me that yes, there were some really awful parts of it all. Things she never wants to think about again. But in the midst of it, they found each other. They found this family. And no one can take that from them. Not Gretchen Klein. Not the internet and whatever they say about us. Not anyone.”
Dani considered that.
“Your mom’s pretty smart,” she noted.
“She has her moments,” Tala replied.
“Guys!” Marcus called out to them, coming back to their side of the boat. “We’re almost there.”
Dani and Tala followed him back to the other side, where they could see, illuminated in the moonlight, the island. Ominous, imposing, and yet, rather beautiful. Almost exactly how Dani had pictured it for all these years.
They pulled into a dock, built some years ago. Tiki torches lit the path. Standing on the dock, with the confidence of a general, was aunt Dot.
Dot was the only member of the family not to have kids. “Seven was enough for one lifetime,” she had explained once. However, she loved being an aunt. She often took the kids on camping trips and other adventures. When they had lobbied hard enough for this island trip, Dot took it upon herself to set it up, arranging what she assured the family would be ‘a safe and practical recreation of the unsinkable eight experience.’
The group disembarked from the boat and stood before Dot, who sized them up like a drill instructor.
“First things first,” Dot commanded. “I need hugs.”
The group practically tackled her to the ground, swarming her to deliver the requested love.
A short time later, the group was gathered around a fire.
“We’re gonna start this off right,” Dot informed them. “I know you all know this oldie, but we’re gonna do the island version. You guys bring the instruments?”
Courtney pulled out a stick that has been repurposed to serve as a musical shaker, a recreation of an instrument her mother had made many years ago.
Tala pulls out a flute whittled from bamboo. “The original,baby” she informed the group. “A lot of love and care has gone into keeping this in one piece so be gentle,” she stated as she handed it to Dani.
“Me?” Dani asked incredulously.
“I’m accompanying on guitar,” Tala explained. “Besides, you’ve heard this enough, you’ll figure it out.
“Start us out, Dani,” Dot encouraged her.
Tala blew into the makeshift flute, still getting remarkable sound after all these years. After a few bum pitches, she found the right familiar notes. Dot began to sing
“Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa
Not the way that I do love you, ”
Courtney shook her instrument in rhythm, as Tala came in on guitar. Dani, Marcus and Quinn joined them in singing.
“Well, holy moly, me oh my
You’re the apple of my eye
Girl, I’ve never loved one like you ”
Dani swore Tala sang that line straight to her. She smiled at her. She then looked around the campfire. For a moment, it felt like she was surrounded by her mothers, her aunts, the full family, as they were at her age. Laughing, dancing, loved and in love.
The song continued, the voices of her friends, her family, carrying through the night.
“O, Home
Let me come home
Home is wherever I’m with you.”