Work Text:
The Troubles With Detective Fiction
"We investigate murders now?" Ezekiel crinkled his noise in disgust at the macabre scene before them. "Murders are not fun…"
The three Librarians-In-Training hung back at the perimeter of the room with their fake forensics badges pinned to their jackets. Police (and real techs) darted back and forth across the space cataloging evidence and taking notes with professional detachment. They hovered over the body of a late-middle aged woman laying at an awkward angle on the Persian carpet in the center of the living room. The carpet's pattern was now nearly obscured by the amount of blood seeping into it. Her throat had been slashed so deeply it appeared nearly severed from her shoulders, as if someone had tried to decapitate her with a blunt axe.
Cassandra, who looked faintly green, muttered. "The Clippings Book made it pretty clear we needed to come here, so I rather doubt this is an average murder."
"No kidding."
Jake seemed the least concerned of the trio, merely watching the police work with quiet interest. He noticed one of the techs lifting something delicately from the rug with a pair of fine tweezers. Frowning he worked his way over to the man's side, careful not to touch anything - last thing Jake needed was to be accidently accused of homicide.
"What have you got?"
The young tech startled somewhat at being directly addressed. "A few hairs." He handed Jake the clear evidence bag, he had just dropped them into, so he could examine them. "They're defiantly not human, that's for sure. Maybe a dog or a cat."
"That's no cat." Cassandra slid up beside them with Ezekiel right behind her. Her eyes widened in that way which showed she was doing calculations no one else could follow.
"But it's orange." Ezekiel argued reasonably.
"It's orangutan."
"Orangutan?" Cried the tech and Ezekiel in equal disbelieve, both glancing from her to the hair and back again. She didn't blame them, it sounded rather outlandish.
Jake's frown deepened as he scanned the crime scene again. His eye landed on the old fashioned wood fireplace in the corner.
"Check the flue." He called to the officer closest to it, who raised an eyebrow but bent down to do as he asked.
Everyone in the room stopped to watch as the officer stuck his head into the fireplace and beamed his flashlight upward.
"Christ, there's something in here!" He gasped sticking he hand up into the flue to dislodge it.
"Careful." Jake began but it was too late.
The body of a young woman came tumbling down in a great, dark cloud of ash and dust. The officer scrambled backwards trying not to be crushed by the dead weight. And the girl was certainly dead. Eyes bulged out, swollen tongue protruding between her lips, and the deep purple bruises of ten exceedingly long fingers around her neck.
Cassandra's hands flew to her mouth. "This is Murders In The Rue Morgue!"
"As in Edgar Allen Poe?" Ezekiel for once looked truly alarmed. "That is the last thing we need coming to life, he's the granddaddy of horror."
"If you guys see a black cat I suggest running." Jake muttered. "…Or a pendulum."
"Wait tell Eve hears about this one."