Archive of Our Own

It was sweltering.

Although it isn’t unusual in Miyagi Prefecture to experience this scorching weather, Shiratorizawa's volleyball boys' only problem as of now isn’t just the scorching hot weather.

It was also the fact that they run out of— not only their energy from playing a practice match against each other— water, too. Not one of their water bottles was filled with at least a single drop of water.

Shirabu wipes away the beads of sweat that trickled down the side of his face and started pulling on his jersey repeatedly, fanning himself. The worse part of that afternoon was that there wasn’t a single cool breeze that could help ease the humidity that makes them feel like they’re inside a large oven.

Goshiki walked up to Shirabu, placing a hand on both of his sides. “I feel like I’m going to collapse… It’s so hot!”

“Way to go for stating the obvious,” Shirabu rolled his eyes. “Do you need a medal for that?”

Goshiki glared at him and sank down on the walls to sit beside him, throwing his head back as he started imitating Shirabu and using his jersey as a fan himself.

“I don’t care if you’re older than me, I will literally fight you.”

“Don’t start a fight you will never win, Tsutomu.”

Goshiki glares at him as he pulls the sleeve of his jersey. “It’s fucking on.”

Shirabu and Goshiki were about to grab one another’s damp jersey, due to how much they were sweating, until a hand was placed on top of Shirabu and Goshiki’s shoulder.

“My oh my, Kenjirou! You really do tend to start fights every time the heat gets to you,”

Shirabu tensed.

Tendou, who had a sly grin on his face, turned to Goshiki, “And you, Tsutomu, are like a carbon copy of Shirabu but in different fonts! You two shouldn’t get on each other’s nerves, knowing damn well how pissed off you two get whenever it gets hot and you don’t get to cool off.”

Shirabu and Goshiki gave each other one last look, then scoffed, looking away with their noses sticking up. 

Tendou sighed. “As long as you two aren’t fighting anymore, you can act like preschoolers all you want.”

Shirabu and Goshiki snapped their heads towards a smug Tendou who already squatted in front of them, crossed legged.

Shirabu crossed his arms. “I am not a preschooler.”

“You sure are acting like one right now,” Tendou replied, retracting his hands from its grasp on their shoulders.

“It's not my fault Dora over here starts stating the obvious—as if we didn’t know already, you aren’t the only one feeling hot.” Shirabu scoffs. 

Goshiki gritted his teeth, his face turning red. Tendou covers his mouth with his fist, looking away.

“Not my damn fault you have anger issues, I was only saying what was on my mind,” Goshiki scowls at him. “And who the fuck are you calling Dora? Your damn hair looks like a broomstick, and you're fucking built like one too!”

Tendou couldn’t hold it in him any longer as he started wailing on the floor, clutching his stomach as tears welled up in both of his eyes, laughing hysterically. 

Shirabu, without warning, pounced on Goshiki and grabbed the latter’s jersey with force as he pinned him to the ground. Tendou, who was still laughing, tried to break the two boys apart, struggling.

The rest of the team noticed the commotion and jogged towards the fight, prying the two from each other’s grasps. Kawanishi and Yamagata smirked at the scene and then gave each other knowing looks.

“How much are you betting that Shirabu will win?” Kawanishi asked, amused.

Yamagata gasped dramatically. “Woah now, Goshiki will surely win this one.”

“You’re kidding? Look at Shirabu, he’s all over Goshiki!”

Yamagata laid a palm out in front of Taichi. “A hundred Yen.”

“Deal.”

Tendou, who was still struggling to pry the two boys who were screaming profanities at each other, glared at the two who were grinning down at them. “A little help here would be appreciated, you know.” 

“But it’s getting to the good part, though.” Kawanishi replied, snorting as he watched Goshiki pulling on Shirabu’s hair.

“Give it one more minute, Satori.” Yamagata added, then cheered on Shirabu when he also tugged on Goshiki’s bangs.

Tendou, frantically trying to put himself in the middle of the two boys, glared at them. “There won’t be another minute unless one of them is dead!”

Kawanishi snorted. “Now that’s a bit too dramatic.”

As Tendou was about to retort, he suddenly felt a chilling presence hovering over them, making everyone stop what they were doing and freeze.

Goshiki and Shirabu squeaked when they saw Ushijima’s cold demeanor—his arms crossed and his mouth paper thin.

“Goshiki, Shirabu, stop this nonsense,”

“Now.”

Goshiki and Shirabu scrambled to get off of each other and sat beside one another, shaking and fiddling on the hems of their jerseys.

Shirabu bowed in shame. “We’re sorry, Ushijima-san.” 

“Yeah, we’re sorry.” Goshiki added.

Goshiki then mumbles under his breath, “I’m not sorry I destroyed that broomstick’s face, though.”

Shirabu was about to pounce on a smirking Goshiki until he felt another chilling gaze staring intently at him. Goshiki felt the same and quickly uttered a genuine apology, bowing his head, with Shirabu following suit.

Ushijima shakes his head, then walks off to the other side of the gym, where the volleyball balls were. Tendou whistled at the two boys’ distraught faces.

“Be glad that it was Wakatoshi who caught you two instead of Coach Washijo!” Tendou chirped. “Coach would definitely punish you two into running a hundred laps around the school.”

Shirabu grimaced, knowing well enough that coach would definitely do that as punishment. Goshiki, on the other hand, covered his face with both of his palms, sulking.

“I can’t believe Ushijima-san saw me like that…” He said, trailing off as he stared blankly at his palms. “Oh god he thinks I’m a feral child now.”

“Aren’t you already one?” Shirabu stated, a bored look on his face.

“Shut up!”

Tendou sighed exasperatedly, flopping on the floor with his head tilted to the side. “It’s so hot.”

Shirabu nodded. “Yeah, it really is.”

Goshiki threw his hands up in the air, breathing out an exasperated cough. “HOW COME WHEN I SAY IT YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH ME, BUT IF TENDOU-SAN SAYS IT YOU AGREE?!”

Shirabu bit the inside of his cheek, squinting his eyes. He felt a little bit heated— only a little. He didn’t mean to start a fight. It was scorching hot that afternoon, and everyone felt so dehydrated in the gym that the floor was almost filled with sweat.

Shirabu, ignoring Goshiki's tantrum, kept on glancing towards the gym doors, where he was expectantly waiting for a silver-haired boy to enter— hopefully for good news that their shortage of water in Shiratorizawa would be fixed.

Of course, it’s not like he misses him anyway. 

Why would he?

Shirabu taps his fingers on his foot impatiently, his body itching to run towards the door and find him, not realizing that his faint tapping on his thighs was beginning to pick up speed.

He might just miss Semi— only a little.

The door suddenly bursts open, revealing an exhausted and sweaty Semi, along with their coach, who looked like he hadn’t felt the heat under the school’s jacket.

Tendou glared at their coach subtly, “Does Coach not feel hot? It’s literally so hot right now, and he’s not affected at all”!

Kawanishi shivered.”That’s… That’s a bit scary.”

Shirabu and Goshiki nodded in unison, grimacing.

Yamagata grins at the two. “Well, at least you two agreed on something today. I’ll count that as a win in my book.”

Shirabu and Goshiki scoffed, facing away from each other.

“It was fun while it lasted.”

Semi jogs towards the group huddled in the other end of the gym, a small smile on his lips as he waves over at Shirabu— not sparing a glance at the other members who were looking up at him in expectation.

“Hey, bub!” Semi walked up to Shirabu and ruffled his hair, making Shirabu groan in dismay. “Did you miss me?”

Shirabu hid his face behind his bangs. “No, not really.”

Shirabu mentally scolded himself— why can’t he be more affectionate? He frowns briefly, thinking about how he has a hard time being affectionate towards his boyfriend. 

This has been bothering him for a number of times, even when they started dating. He knows that Semi’s aware that he has a hard time doing so, but he was constantly reassured that Semi was, also, like him. It didn’t exactly convince him, because he had always been flirting with him with sweet nothings, and was naturally romantic; if it was a thing.

It’s not like he doesn’t show emotions or don’t say he loves him through words, it’s just doesn’t come naturally to him. It felt like it was always at the tips of his tongue, but could never be uttered— it was always a playful insult that leaves his mouth, in which in the end he regrets saying. Although, Semi did reassure him that he understood his problem, it still doesn’t sit well with him.

It bothers him a lot.

Semi smirks down at him, then squatted next to him. He gave Shirabu a quick kiss on his cheek and glanced at the others huddled together, whose faces were either bored or annoyed.

Goshiki stuck his tongue out in disgust. “That is so disgusting please don’t do that in front of me ever again.”

Kawanishi nodded in agreement, feigning disgust, “I feel so awkward and uncomfortable.”

Semi rolled his eyes. “Now you’re all just jealous.”

Tendou smirks at Semi. “Why hello to you too, Eita! Good to know you finally acknowledged our existence.” Semi grinned sheepishly at Tendou’s sarcastic remark.

Shirabu, rolling his eyes, wipes away the sloppy kiss Semi gave him on his cheek. “You’re rubbing your sweat on me, idiot.” He then stood up— patting down his shorts and fixing his jersey. 

“Don’t be like that, babe!” Semi pleads. “You love me anyway.” 

Shirabu looks away, trying not to let Semi his flushed face. Semi frowns at him, but quickly composes his composure and grins at his boyfriend— wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“But, uh, straying away from the topic…” Semi cleared his throat, pulling on the collar of his jersey. 

Shirabu looked down at the ground, feeling his stomach churn. He felt like an idiot, and he felt so guilty. Why is it so hard to show love?

Shirabu awkwardly scooched closer to Semi, not caring about the fact that both of them were so sweaty, and how the closer they are, the chances that the heat wouldn’t get them wouldn’t lessen.

Semi tensed a little, then gently pushed him to the side. He gave Shirabu’s headtop one more peck and glanced at the team who were rolling their eyes at the two. Kawanishi wasn’t exactly acting bitter like he usually does, making it a bit more unusual in Shirabu’s eyes.

Shirabu tried not to feel defeated when Semi pushed him away, and tried to reason silently that it was hot and that they needed space from each other or they’ll be a puddle of sweat at this rate.

“So, bad news…” Semi started.

“Reon and I were tasked with asking the faculty and staff here on campus and ask about the water supply, right?” They all nodded, and Semi continued, “Turns out, it’s not only at our school, but also in Karasuno, Seijoh, Date Tech, and others.”

Tendou pursed his lips. “So… We’re going to die out of dehydration?”

“I sure hope not!” Goshiki exclaimed.

Shirabu smirks at Goshiki’s distraught face. “Bye-bye, Goshiki Tsutomu.”

Goshiki glared at him. “I hope you rot well in he—!”

“Okay that’s enough!” Semi commanded, grabbing Goshiki’s elbow to prevent him from pouncing on Shirabu.

Shirabu rolls his eyes as Goshiki sticks his tongue out at him. This seems like he’s done that a hundred times today.

Yamagata sighs, wiping another bead of sweat that trickled down his forehead. “So, what now?”

Semi was about to answer until he was interrupted by Reon walking towards them with Ushijima, who was holding a paper envelope in his hand.

“We’re going to buy at least two gallons of water,” Reon started. “Fortunately, not all members are present here during practice so two jugs can suffice.”

Ushijima handed the envelope to Tendou, who was looking at him in awe.

“Coach asked us to group at least three members to go out and buy two to three gallons of water, so we’ll be discussing amongst ourselves on who the three will be.” Reon said, then turned to Ushijima and nodded. 

Ushijima continues, “The other members were tasked with making sure everyone is in check and to make sure that when the water comes back, we’ll be able to distribute the water evenly to everyone.” 

He takes a quick glance at the rest who huddled closer. “Which leaves only us here to decide.”

“But… the nearest convenience store is thirty minutes from here…” Tendou said slowly.

Reon chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the nape of his neck. “That’s the thing… There’s no means of transportation available…

“So I think you know what happens next.”

Everyone looked away, busying themselves by observing the floor, the walls, the ceiling while whistling— anywhere. 

Reon sighs. “Wakatoshi and I are in charge of making sure that the rest of the boys here won’t feel any discomfort— we already had one close call when someone almost fainted from the heat.”

Tendou bit his lower lip, trying not to smirk, then placed both his hands on the back of his head. “Ahh, I guess I won’t be going! I was a junior first-aider back in middle school so I can help when someone needs it.”

“Booooo,” Yamagata cooed, sticking his thumb down. “Who are you trying to convince here?”

“I was!” Tendou replied defensively.

“Like anyone would believe that.”

Ushijima nodded. “Alright, Tendou is out of the list so it’s up to the five of you left”.

Yamagata’s eye twitched, making Tendou smirk in triumph.

“Thank you, babe!” Tendou said, then gave a confused Ushijima a quick peck on his cheek, making Yamagata scoff.

“Boyfriend privileges isn’t cute.” 

“You’re just jealous you’re single.”

Yamagata rolled his eyes, “Well then, I’ll be in charge of cleaning the gym! It’s a bit messy right now, isn’t it?” Yamagata reasons back.

Reon raises his eyebrows. “There’s only a couple of volleyballs on the court—.” 

“Aye, thanks! Will do my best!” Yamagata exclaimed, cutting Reon off.

Reon face-palmed. “Right. Semi is the only third year student left among us here, so he’s a part of the jug group.”

“Yep,” Semi nodded. “And I’m bringing Shirabu with me.

“I’d rather not.” Shirabu crosses his arms.

Semi gave Shirabu a pleading look— making Shirabu sigh in defeat. How could he say no to that?

Shirabu reluctantly agreed. “Fine.”

“Yay!” Semi cheers, then gave Shirabu a wink— in which Shirabu, of course, rolled his eyes.

Goshiki fake gagged at the scene. “Ew.”

Reon cleared his throat with an eye-roll. “So it’s up to Goshiki and Kawanishi—.”

“I don’t even want to argue anymore,” Kawanishi interrupted. “I’ll go with Shirabu and Semi.”

“Can everyone just stop interrupting me?”

Tendou snorted and patted Kawanishi’s back reassuringly. “It’s alright, little one. Third wheeling won’t be as bad”

Kawanishi sighs. “I’m doing Semi-san a favor here, because I’m sure the two might start a street fight and cause a commotion.”

“I’m not that violent.” Shirabu rebutted, scoffing.

Kawanishi rolled his eyes. “You might as well be with this weather right now.”

Semi crosses his arms and silently nodded, his face unreadable.

“Alright then, it’s settled.” Semi started. “Shall we go?”

Semi, completely ignoring Kawanishi, unbeknownst to everyone, wrapped an arm around Shirabu and snatched the white envelope from Tendou’s grasp. 

He squeezes his shoulder and, almost, dragging him towards the gym doors— leaving Kawanishi behind. It took him a moment to realize that he was going to be left behind.

“O-oh! Wait for me!” Kawanishi stutters, tripping on his own feet. He then swiftly bows to the rest of the members before catching up to the two, coughing.

The rest of the team members waved goodbye at them— Tendou and Goshiki straightens their composure with a tear on their eye and saluted.

“Fare thee well, soldiers.”

“Stop that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know damn well what I meant.”

Kawanishi raises an eyebrow. “Care to enlighten me?”

“I’m serious; stop it.” Shirabu commanded, his tone low and serious.

Kawanishi sighs and raises his hands up in surrender. “Geez, fine. But don’t think for a second that you think I haven’t noticed that troubled look on your face.”

“Would you just drop it already?” Shirabu spat out, “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Kawanishi bit back, exasperated.

“Yes I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

“You’re definitely not.”

“I am absolutely fine.”

“No, you are not.”

“Yes, I am not.”

Shirabu crouches on the floor outside of the convenience store’s entrance and slaps his palms on either side of his face, making Kawanishi jump a little from the sudden slap.

“I really am not.” 

Kawanishi pulls on the back of Shirabu’s jersey and forces him to stand straight, a mixed expression on his face.

“We’ve known each other since we were kids.” Kawanishi’s face softened. “What’s on your mind, Kenji?”

Shirabu sighs. “Am I a bad boyfriend?”

Kawanishi furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me he told you that?”

“No, he didn’t.” Shirabu lowered his head. “I just… Am I?”

“You’re not.”

Shirabu gave him a pointed look. “Be real with me, Taichi. Don’t say it for my sake.”

“I’m not; I’m being completely honest.” Kawanishi replied, his tone indicating that he was, in fact, serious. “What made you think that way?”

“I just… every time he tried to go all lovey-dovey towards me, I didn’t know how to reciprocate and most of the time I reply with something snarky that makes him go all gloomy and I didn’t mean to make him feel that way, I just blurted it out without thinking,” Shirabu started breathily.

He breathes out a breath he didn’t know he was holding— feeling a bit tensed that he finally spoke his issues out loud for the first time in months.

Shirabu continues. “I genuinely love him, I just don’t know what to do and my mouth just moves on its own without me registering what I said— it will be too late to take it back.” 

“I’m tempted to say that you’re just acting like a complete Tsundere.”

“Watch your mouth.”

He places his hand on Shirabu’s back and pushes him inside the convenience store where Semi was, making him stagger forward and almost losing his balance.

When they reached the convenience store, Shirabu suggested that he and Kawanishi call the rest of the members back in Shiratorizawa in hopes that the budget given to them wouldn’t be used if the water came by the time they reached the store. Semi reluctantly agreed and went ahead inside, leaving the two alone outside of the convenience store.

Of course, that was only half the truth. He felt like he was sucked into the pits of a tight, black, empty hole. He couldn’t breathe. He felt so guilty. He bit his tongue to prevent himself from swearing to whoever was up there cursing him to be such a... 

“You know, I think you have alexithymia.”

Shirabu whipped his head to face Kawanishi, who was looking down at him with pursed lips, his hands now stuffed inside his shorts.

“What? No, I don’t,” Shirabu said defensively. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“You can’t say you don’t when you don’t even know what that means.”

They both turned to the nearest aisle where the beverages were situated, finding the place unusually empty when the water supply was unexpectedly cut off.

“Well, then, enlighten me.”

“I’ve read somewhere that people tend to have difficulties identifying and describing their emotions, as well as having a hard time expressing their emotions in such a way that it’s difficult to provide other people, in your case, your significant other, with emotional validation.” Kawanishi stated.

“So, you think I have a disorder?”

“No, not particularly.” Kawanishi shook his head. “It’s not a disorder, but it’s something along the lines of having difficulties in social settings and interpersonal relationships.”

“And you somehow think I have alexithymia?” Shirabu reiterated slowly.

“I don’t know why I came to the sudden conclusion that you do. I just know that you do have trouble expressing your feelings, and you do have some trouble communicating sometimes. It was something that first popped into my mind, and I’m sorry if it came out as rude and intrusive towards you.” He gave Shirabu an apologetic bow, in which Shirabu dismissively shook his hand to— not feeling disrespected in the slightest.

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s alexithymia. For me, it’s as close as you can get to not being described as apathetic. Those two are different, and knowing you, I know you aren’t like that, given that we’ve known each other for quite a long time now.”

Shirabu lowered his head as he stared at the marble tiles that were reflected brightly by the beaming light on the ceiling.

“I know you’ve been struggling with communication ever since we were kids, and that’s okay; that’s valid. What you’re feeling right now is valid and acceptable, don’t convince yourself otherwise.” He reassured him, nudging his elbow on his side. 

“What’s not okay is not giving it a shot and not putting forth effort, but it seems to me that you’re doing quite the opposite, seeing as you were willing to open up to your best friend and acknowledge it, knowing how telling me this right now took a lot of effort for you to do so.”

He smiles down at Shirabu.

“I'm so proud of you for that.” Kawanishi places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly. 

“I highly suggest that you have a long talk with Semi regarding this.” He suggested running a hand through his hair for a brief moment. “This has a high possibility of miscommunication between you two if there isn't a long and honest talk about your feelings and his.”

Shirabu sucked his upper lip, his hands trembling slightly as they were tucked under his arms. 

Kawanishi softly nudged his side with his elbow. “Suck it up, Kenjirou. You knew what you were getting into, and it’s about time you had this talk with him.”

“He makes you the happiest you’ve ever been.” Kawanishi smiles solemnly at Shirabu, who tries his best to suppress his emotions. “Don’t let this be a breaking point in your relationship; let it be a building block to help strengthen it instead.”

Shirabu breathes out a shaky breath, murmuring a silent ‘thank you’ to Kawanishi.

“Since when were you such an oracle?” Shirabu teased, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

Kawanishi glared at him. “This will be the last piece of advice I will be giving you, like, ever.”

“Mhm.” Shirabu hummed, unconvinced. He’d definitely will.

“Yeah, yeah, I won’t anymore. This is the last one in years,” Kawanishi replied, which was him trying to convince himself, “So you better savor this rare moment, got it?”

“Mhm.”

Shirabu smiled up at him, and the latter grinned down at Shirabu.

“I find it funny how you’re giving me love advice when you’re single.” 

“Wow, I helped your ass, and you have the audacity to talk smack about me?” Kawanishi gasped dramatically, then pointed a finger at Shirabu with a grin. “You’re on thin ice.”

Shirabu chuckles, lightly punching his shoulder. He’s happy the convenience store has a big ceiling fan looming all over the place to make the heat more bearable, or right now he would’ve reacted harshly and not taken his advice into consideration.

Kawanishi was about to return the favor until they heard a loud laugh coming from the right aisle that was close to the counter. They followed the familiar voices and halted in their tracks, seeing Semi and a green-haired boy laughing to their heart’s content.

Shirabu felt his heart drop when he saw Semi laughing when Yamaguchi mouthed a handful of words that he couldn’t quite hear, the corner of his lips quivering while his hand clenched into a fist. 

Semi, who was holding a jug of water on his right while his left was holding the change the cashier gave them, was animatedly talking to Yamaguchi with a wide grin plastered on his face. Yamaguchi, on the other hand, held a much smaller jug compared to theirs with both of his hands, his Karasuno jersey damp from his sweat. 

Kawanishi noticed Shirabu’s unreadable look on his face and panicked, assuming the worst-case scenario.

“Hey, wait, don’t you dare—!”

He was cut off by Shirabu, who yanked Kawanishi along with him, the grip on the horrified boy behind him tightening as they got closer to Semi and Yamaguchi. He quietly tsked as he stomped towards him, making his presence known. 

The two jolted up in surprise when Shirabu was right in the middle of them, with Kawanishi’s face turning blue. He yanks himself from Shirabu’s grip and rubs his now-red wrists, cursing quietly. Shirabu didn’t spare a single glance at Yamaguchi, who was shaking behind him. He was completely facing his boyfriend.

He felt completely naked as his boyfriend looked at him up and down, quietly observing him. He knows he’ll cringe when he reminisces about this later, but right now, he felt a strange shiver from his neck down to his chest—his heart was beating so loud, he could’ve sworn he was going to go deaf at this rate.

“Are you done?” Shirabu asked, his tone unexpectedly turning assertive.

Semi places his free hand on his hip, the corner of his lips tugging downward. 

“Yes, I already paid for the jug.” Semi pointed at the jug with his lips. “Did you need anything else? If so, there’s not much left here for us to buy—they estimated the budget to be enough for us to buy at least two to three jugs.”

Shirabu shook his head, his teeth biting his tongue accidentally, to the point where he could taste something metallic. He winced, not knowing he had intentionally done so.

“No, you took too long,”

He looks over his shoulder to see Yamaguchi rubbing the nape of his neck, his cheeks red. He then squinted his eyes at Semi’s curious ones and placed both hands on his hips. He then jutted his thumb, pointing towards the exit.

“I think we overstayed our visit here; let's go now.” Shirabu cussed quietly to himself, not liking his attitude that he couldn’t suppress.

Semi nodded slowly, not understanding him. He looked over his shoulder and bowed apologetically to the boy behind him. 

“Sorry, Yams! Duty calls! It was nice seeing you!” He grins sheepishly at Yamaguchi, pressing his palms together and bowing slightly.

Shirabu finally turns around to face Yamaguchi, who was also bowing apologetically at Shirabu and Semi. 

“Ah, it was nice meeting you too, Semi-san!” Yamaguchi quickly fumbles to bow towards Shirabu, “I’m sorry, uh, Kawanishi— I mean, Shirabu-san! I didn’t mean to bother you, I’m sure you’re all busy.”

Shirabu, a bit vexed—scratched that; he wasn’t just a bit vexed; it was more than that—glared at Yamaguchi. So he remembers Semi’s name but not his? Were they always this close? Does he have a crush on him? Is he doing it on purpose? Is that why he’s purposely mistaking him for Kawanishi?

He could feel his head spin. The heat along with his bitter thoughts weren’t a good mixture together— he’s assuming the worst, and he knows what he was thinking about was completely false.

So, why is he glaring so much at Yamaguchi?

“Yeah, you’re being a bother,” Shirabu hissed, his voice raising slightly. “We’re busy; we don’t need futile conversations with anyone right now.”

Shirabu bit his tongue again, intentionally this time. Why the hell is he being such an asshole?

Semi called over to Shirabu, grabbing his wrist. He snaps his head to see Semi’s surprised, irked expression. He gave him a look that he understood well enough to regret the words that flew out of his mouth.

“Hey, brat, I know it’s hot right now, but there’s no need for you to be disrespectful.” Semi stated, his grip tightening.

Shirabu gritted his teeth, hoping that he wouldn’t further fuel the harshly burning fire. His tongue betrayed him, though, making his stomach drop at what Semi did after he let the words roll out of his tongue.

“It’s definitely hot right now, so why the hell are you still standing there? To carry on with this meaningless conversation?” Shirabu snaps. “Stop fooling around and let’s get back, they need us right now—not whatever the hell you two have.”

Semi gritted his teeth but stayed silent, his grip loosening. 

Shirabu laughed sarcastically. “What? Too busy to even reply? You were fine holding a meaningless conversation just a couple minutes ago.”

Semi, silently, grabbed the two water jugs and walked around Shirabu, ignoring his regretful eyes as he stood next to Yamaguchi.

“Sorry, Yams. We need to go.”

Yamaguchi, still smiling nervously, bowed again courteously. “It’s no problem, Semi-san.”

He then looks at Shirabu with soft eyes, making Shirabu’s guilt eat him alive. Yamaguchi did not deserve that at all.

“I understand your outburst, Shirabu-san. I apologize once again for mistaking you as Kawanishi-san.” Yamaguchi bowed courteously again.

Shirabu nodded, then turned his gaze from the ground to Semi walking towards the exits, signaling Kawanishi to follow him. Kawanishi bowed apologetically to Yamaguchi, then gave a pointed look at Shirabu, gesturing through his eyes to Yamaguchi. He then jogged towards a struggling Semi, who was holding the jugs and balancing himself. The two then left, with Semi leaving in a fit of pique.

Shirabu then bowed deeply to Yamaguchi, making Yamaguchi squeak.

“Yamaguchi-kun, I am so sorry.” His lips quivered slightly. “I… I didn’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean what I said, I promise.”

Yamaguchi frantically waves a dismissive hand at Shirabu, then forces him to stand straight. “No! Don’t ever worry about it! I get it, I really do!” Yamaguchi bows his head, then stands straight. “It was nice meeting you, Shirabu-san!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t take it to heart.” He then smiled shyly. “I would react that way too if it were Tsukki , so I totally get it.”

Tsukki?

Before Shirabu could reply, Yamaguchi turned his back to him and started walking towards the other side, where the other exit door was. He noticed a tall blonde guy and a silver haired boy waiting for him outside. 

Shirabu sighed. He rubbed his temple as he ran towards the convenience store’s exit that Semi went out of and ran after them.

He needed to get his shit together.

The walk back to school felt like an eternity.

Shirabu and Semi, still not on speaking terms, were walking ahead of Kawanishi, who ended up bringing one of the jugs to help Semi—although the look on his face when he carried the heavier jug was indescribable.

The tension between the two was growing each step they took, and the rays of the sun felt like it seeped through their skins and melted them completely. It wasn’t a good combination, and the bubbling feeling of resentment was at its brink at each ragged breath they took.

Semi then whipped his head to face his boyfriend, halting in his tracks and crossing his arms.

“What the hell is going on with you? I get that you’re a bit frustrated because it’s incredibly hot right now, but that’s not an excuse for your behavior towards Yamaguchi.”

Shirabu, who was in front of Semi with his back facing him, clenched his fist. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know damn well what I meant!”

Shirabu turned to face Semi completely, his eyes fierce as the two were glaring at each other. Neither of them wanted to turn away, his pride got the best of him as he took a step closer towards Semi.

Kawanishi noticed the tension and nervously waved his hands in the air, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.

“How about we talk about it when we’re all cooled off, you know?” Kawanishi laughed nervously, flailing his arms. “I mean, when we finally get to take a sip of water after hours of not being able to do so, you know?”

The two never broke eye contact.

“I mean, there are plenty of private areas in the gym, so maybe let’s all cool off and—!”

Kawanishi was interrupted when Semi snapped his head towards him, his vicious glare making Kawanishi shriek and stagger back. 

“Would you just shut up? You’re being atrociously annoying right now, do you want me to shove this jug down your throat?” Semi glared at him sharply, his hands forming into a fist.

Kawanishi shrieked again, then pretended to zip his mouth shut. Shirabu didn’t like how he was talking to Kawanishi with that tone, but he silently agreed with him either way—he was annoyed, that’s for sure, but there’s no way he’s letting it pass. 

“Semi, don’t say that to him. You’re being such an ass.” Shirabu scolded.

Semi scoffed in disbelief. “Oh, so I’m the ass now? This is what you did, too, to my acquaintance!”

“Acquaintance? What in the ever loving fuck do you mean ‘acquaintance’? Your face and that laugh of yours when you were with him don’t look like ‘just an acquaintance’ to me!” Shirabu waa riled up now.

Semi took a step closer to Shirabu, their gaze never breaking. “What are you even going on about? He’s my acquaintance, and I don’t even know him that well to consider him a friend,”

“Unlike you and Taichi.”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

Shirabu took a longer step forward. One more inch, and their puffed chests would meet. Shirabu doesn’t know what he’s feeling right now—anger? No, wait, it made him feel sparks surging through his body—was it excitement? It can’t be.

“You know exactly what I mean, Shirabu.” Semi huskily replied, his eyes had a tinge of hurt evident, but Shirabu didn’t notice. “You didn’t think I noticed your little moment between you two in the store, huh?”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’re definitely pissing me off.”

“You think I don’t feel that way, too?” All hurt Semi felt vanished in a blink of an eye, and was replaced with irritation. “Brat.”

Shirabu was about to retort when he suddenly noticed Kawanishi struggling with his jug and running towards them. He then snatched the jug Semi had placed on the ground before their argument and ran off, stumbling and almost losing his balance. 

Kawanishi gave them one last look and hollered;

“I don’t know what’s going on, what’s going to happen, and frankly, I do not care,” Kawanishi almost tripped on a rock as he yelled over. “If you guys somehow managed to strangle each other, leave me out of this!”

Shirabu and Semi watched as Kawanishi’s running figure was getting smaller and smaller until all they saw was the blinding rays of the sun. Shirabu was about to tell his boyfriend off, still feeling unsatisfied that he didn’t get to have the last word until he felt an arm wrapped around his waist and a soft kiss placed on his lips. 

Shirabu’s eyes widened as he looked at his boyfriend, who’s eyes fluttered shut. He frantically looked around the streets, afraid that they’ll be seen. Fortunately, the street was almost empty except for a few dogs running around and birds flocking by and sitting on the benches nearby.

Shirabu found himself deepening the kiss, tugging Semi’s hair, and pulling him closer to him. He felt at peace, and it felt like they weren’t just arguing a few minutes ago. 

When he felt like he was running out of breath, he pulled away to meet Semi’s eyes, which were filled with softness. Semi smiled softly, then placed one last soft kiss on his lips, then moved away, removing his arms around Shirabu and running the back of his fingers through Shirabu’s hair.

Semi pulled them both onto a nearby bench and sat them down, with their knees almost touching at how close they were to each other. He doesn’t like how he felt like he wanted to break down and tell Semi everything, but every time he did so, the words wouldn’t roll off his tongue so easily.

After a moment of silence, with them gazing over at the five-o-clock setting, the sunlight wasn’t harshly gazing at their faces anymore, and Semi finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

Shirabu looked at his peripheral vision to see Semi looking down at the pavement, his brows furrowed as his hands were pulling on the hems of his jersey.

“For what?”

“For… I don’t know…” Semi trails off, fidgeting. “The kiss?”

Shirabu felt his heart tug painfully in his chest. Semi must’ve noticed somehow that he felt that way and quickly interjected.

“No, don’t get the wrong idea.” He places a hand on Shirabu’s knee. “I meant… I’m sorry for kissing you all of a sudden. I should’ve asked for your permission first.”

Shirabu glances down at his hands that firmly pressed on his knee. “Why?”

“Why, what?” Semi cocks his head to the side.

“Why do you need to ask permission from me?”

“Because you might feel uncomfortable?”

“Why would I be? We’re dating, and it’s normal to kiss your partner, right?” He questions in almost a whisper.

Semi licked his lips. The lips that Shirabu had longed for to meet with him the moment he saw him laughing with the green haired boy. He felt his heart tug harshly on his chest again.

“I mean, yeah, it is, but I shouldn’t have done that so briskly.” He explains, removing his hand from his knee and placing it on his own. “I couldn’t hold it any longer, and I just wanted to have you right here and now.”

Shirabu looked away, trying to hide his red cheeks. “It’s fine, I didn’t mind that at all.”

“I’m glad to know, bub.” Semi smiled warmly.

Shirabu felt at ease once more. He missed Semi calling him that instead of his family name, so they have to be a bit calm now to start a conversation.

“I don’t have any regrets, though, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Semi’ reassures, making Shirabu internal sigh in relief.

“Although… You could use a mouthwash right now.”

Shirabu snapped his head towards Semi, who had a teasing smirk plastered all over his face. Oh, how he’d love to rip his face apart into tiny, miniscule pieces.

“I think you’re the one who needs mouthwash,” He teases back. “ After all, the reason you think it smells bad is because your nose is near your mouth.” He said, pointing his nose to his mouth as if to measure it.

Semi fake gasps, then grinned down at a now smirking Shirabu. “Brat.”

“Bastard.”

They quietly laughed and stared at each other lovingly. If his past self saw him with a boyfriend and having cute moments like this, he’d laugh at the idea and deem it impossible. 

But right now, he’s currently experiencing this moment, and he’s more than willing to prove to his past self that there really is love that will pop up in mysterious ways 

After another moment of silence, Shirabu broke the silence this time. He gathered enough courage to do so, and he took Kawanishi’s advice.

“How… How’d you meet him?”

Semi hummed, “Who?”

“Yamaguchi from Karasuno, how’d you get… acquainted, with him?”

Semi gums again. “Ahh, he and I bumped into each other a couple of weeks ago; I accidentally spilled coffee all over his jersey, so I got one for him as compensation.”

Semi continues, “I felt so bad because I didn’t have enough sleep due to exams and I didn’t see him from behind. Regardless, he asked me for one thing as compensation.”

“And it’s?” Shirabu questions.

“He asked if there was a song that he could use to confess to his best friend, whose name I think was Tsukishima. Tsukki?”

Shirabu felt relieved. So that’s ‘Tsukki’ Yamaguchi was talking about. 

“And I told him what I thought would be best, and that was it. We didn’t exchange numbers, and we didn't talk after that. It was only today that we bumped into each other.” Semi continued.

“They didn’t have a water supply either, huh?” Shirabu asked, then quietly cussed to himself for asking an obvious question.

“Yeah, that’s right.”

Shirabu bit the inside of his cheek. So he was jealous for nothing?

“Did…” Shirabu shook his head. “I mean, are they together now?”

Semi reciprocated his actions. “No, not yet; he told me he’s working on gaining the confidence to do so soon,” 

“If only you could’ve seen the way he talked about him, and how his eyes twinkled with just him mentioning his name.”

Semi chuckled after, but Shirabu frowned. He didn’t like not being able to talk like that about him, finding it difficult to do so.

“Is that it?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Shirabu nodded, then sat cross-legged on the bench.

“I’m… Sorry.” He murmurs, but audible enough for Semi to hear. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way towards Yamaguchi.”

“Should I really be the one to apologize to?”

“Shut up; I’m getting there.”

He breathed in a breath, then exhaled, trying to find the right words to say.

“I shouldn’t have to feel this way, because I know you’re not stupid enough to date me just for the fun of it. I know you love me, and I know I did too after months of being together.”

“But?” Semi encouraged.

“But… I felt a little…”

Shirabu clenched his fist, trying to force himself to say the word out loud. He’s getting there, just with a little more push.

“Jealous. I was so damn jealous.”

Semi’s eyes widened slightly, but he observed the latter carefully, staying silent. 

Shirabu continues. “I didn’t like how someone else got to get that side out of you, how they managed to make you laugh so easily and make you feel happier with them.”

“I am happy?”

“Are you, really?”

“Without a doubt, without any hesitations, I am so incredibly happy with you.”

Shirabu felt his heart race, but he kept the same expression on his face. “It’s just that I don’t know how to express my emotions very well.”

“I think we established that before. What are you getting at?” Semi teases.

Shirabu gave him a pointed look. “How about you let me finish and shut up for once?” 

Semi cracked a small smile.

“I’m not good at dealing with emotions, and I’m definitely not good at expressing them, either. It’s just hard to say the things you want to say, but it feels like every time I do so, the words don't roll off my tongue so easily.” Shirabu started.

Shirabu looked up, ignoring the sun’s rays dancing all over his face. “I’m trying my best to be able to communicate properly and express my emotions, but it’s so damn hard.”

He could feel Semi’s eyes on him, making him squirm. This is hard. “I want to tell you how much you mean to me in words, but I ended up chickening out like a coward, and I hate myself for that.”

Shirabu turned his head to look at Semi with his hunched figure through his lashes and saw fondness in his eyes that made him feel safe for opening up. It made him feel more relaxed.

“I look at you, and just love you with every fiber of my being. It terrifies me how strong my feelings are towards you, and what I would do for you,” 

“For you, I’ll risk it all.”

Shirabu sighs, massaging the gap between his fingers, breaking eye contact with a flushed looking Semi. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions about your relationship with Yamaguchi. That was wrong on my part and I take full responsibility.”

He bowed his head in shame. Semi will definitely lose feelings for him at this rate and fall out of love, which is what Shirabu was thinking. 

“I understand if you want nothing to do with me after this.” He spoke quietly. “I’m such a heavy baggage, and I’ll be okay in time.”

He felt like a knife surged through his chest as he spoke with a low tone. He was ready to leave until he heard Semi chuckle.

“You’re important to me, you piece of shit.” Shirabu turned to face a now smirking Semi. “For a guy who wants to study medicine, you sure are stupid. “

Semi stared at the pavement with his lips slightly tugged upward. “We talked about this before, and when I said I was willing to love you no matter what, I meant it,”

“I don’t care if you suddenly grew a hundred meters tall, have a beer belly, haven’t showered in months, or whatever, I will still love you.”

“So, if I asked you ‘would you still love me if I were a worm?’, would you still?” Shirabu jokingly asked, crossing his arms.

“I’d jokingly put you on a fishing hook and pretend to make you bait so I could catch a fish for dinner.” Semi confesses, mirroring his grin.

“Wow, it's good to know that you’ll keep me safe.”

Semi laughed, raising his arms up in surrender. “I’m kidding!”

Shirabu scoffed, and crossed his arms with puffed cheeks. Semi chuckled.

“You’re cute, but you’d look cuter holding my hand, or whatever.”

Shirabu glanced down at Semi’s hand, contemplating doing so, but reluctantly intertwined his fingers together, his face turning hot. Semi chuckled and squeezed their intertwined fingers together.

“I get jealous, too.” Semi confessed.

Shirabu cocked his head to the side.

“I know you and Kawanishi are just friends, but I can’t help but feel so jealous. I want you all for myself, and I know I shouldn’t be greedy and needy, it would be unhealthy for us if I only wanted your attention to be on me.” He admits, nervously rubbing his thumb against Shirabu’s unconsciously.

“I never craved attention until I tasted yours, Kenjirou.”

Semi squeezed their intertwined hands together once more, with Shirabu’s heart following suit.

“I’ll admit, I’m a sap, and I like cliché romance, and I kind of want to be loved through words as well. I wanted to hear words of affirmation from you more than anyone else.” He  squeezes their intertwined hands reassuringly, “But I understand you. I hear you. It’s not easy, and I get it. I accepted that the moment we got into a relationship, and I am fully aware of it. That will never change, I promise you that.”

Semi licked his chapped lips and sighed. “I just feel jealous sometimes; even if I try to flirt with you or do things to try to get your attention, I never get a reaction from you,”

“But then here comes Kawanishi, making you smile with that damn smile that made me fall in love with you.” 

Semi continued after he took a long breath, “It’s selfish, but I want to be the reason why you’re smiling, and it kind of stung when it was someone that I was so jealous of. He was the reason why you did so on rare occasions, and I wanted you to smile because of me.”

Semi chuckled and threw his head back, his eyes sparkling with the soft rays of the sun. Shirabu couldn’t help but admire how he was basking in the sun’s warm glow, he felt so lost in the sight in front of him. 

He wanted to kiss his sunkissed face.

“That’s pretty petty and childish of me to want that, huh?” 

Shirabu shook his head. The reason he was smiling was because they were talking about Semi. If only he knew.

“I guess we’re on the same boat then, jealousy and whatnot.”

Semi cracked a smile small. 

“We were talking about you, Semi.”

“What?”

“Kawanishi and I were talking about you,” Shirabu repeated. “I told him I have difficulties in expressing my emotions towards you, and he suggested I have this talk with you about it because it’s been bothering me for months now that I still have trouble communicating…”

Shirabu continues, “He reassured me that you’ll listen to me and that our communication right now will be a building block in our relationship, and how this could help us and me, whatever that could mean.”

Semi scooched closer to Shirabu, their shoulders brushing against each other.

“Well, was he right?”

Shirabu paused, then nodded.

“Yeah, yeah he was.”

He gently placed his head on Semi’s shoulders. “You shouldn’t be jealous of him, he’s just a childhood friend of mine who literally eats his own boogers like it’s free real estate and literally chews so loud.”

Semi cackled.

“Don’t worry, Eita, I’ll only love you and only you.”

Semi kissed Shirabu’s temple and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him close. It didn’t matter how prickling the heat was, he wanted to be closer to Semi. He needs him.

“I need you, idiot. Our stupid conversations mean a lot to me, and I genuinely cherish them.” He professes, feeling the tightness of his chest slowly disappearing, “I may not show it often, but I do appreciate the love you give me, and right now, let me tell you how much you mean to me.”

Shirabu grabbed their intertwined hands and softly pressed the back of Semi’s hand against his lips. He felt electricity for a brief moment, and he could’ve sworn he felt Semi shudder.

“I love you with all of my heart, Semi Eita,” He pressed Semi’s palms against his cheek, nuzzling his nose. “I’ll work on myself better and be able to show love through your love language. It’ll take a while for me to adjust, but as long as I know you feel loved, then that’s enough for me.”

Semi brings him into a hug, burying his face in Shirabu’s neck. Shirabu returned the favor, listening to the beat of his heart, which will always beat just for him.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” Semi runs his fingers through Shirabu’s hair, “What you’re saying right now is more than enough for me, and I’m so glad to hear it from you.”

Semi pulled away and kissed his cheek, his forehead, and then the tip of his nose.

“I love you, Shirabu Kenjiro. “I’ll promise to take care of you, and love you until we’re gray and old.

Shirabu snorted but kept his grin. “What is this, a wedding vow?”

Semi gave him a toothy smile. “I’d like to think of this as a rehearsal for ours in the future.”

Shirabu rolled his eyes and pulled his jersey towards him, making their lips almost touch once more.

“How about you seal this with a kiss?”

Semi raised an eyebrow at him, noticing how bold Shirabu was. Maybe it was the fact that the communication they had made him feel better. 

Semi chuckled at Shirabu’s lips, which were itching to meet his. He gently cupped his face with his palm. 

“Deal.”

Although they had their ups and downs, they knew right here and then that this was their moment. They knew that they weren’t perfect, but they knew that they were perfect for each other. 

Shirabu’s phone buzzed, but neither of them noticed. They were too busy loving each other with sunkissed faces. 

The phone buzzed again, but they didn’t care. 

There’s no better moment than this.

fin.

EXTRA:

To: Shiraboo 👎
From: Taichi 🦥
sent from my iPhone.

Taichi 🦥: SHIRABU KENJIRO YOU OWE ME RAMEN MY ARMS FEELS LIKE IT’S GOING TO DETACH!!! 

Taichi 🦥: you’re a piece of work, i’m such a good wingman thank me later.

Taichi 🦥: oh, and the water came back. But guess what won’t come back? my arms because it’s going to fall OFF BECAUSE NEITHER OF YOU HELPED ME HAHA☺️

Taichi 🦥: Have fun sucking faces, asshole. xoxo.