Work Text:
Barba was not the type of man to feel shame surrounding his vices. He enjoyed the burn of a glass of whiskey after a long day, he was usually over caffeinated; recently becoming addicted to the hazelnut lattes from the coffee shop across from his office.
He was also never without a snack in reach. There was a candy dish in his office, mints on Carmens desk, and he always kept a bag of mixed nuts tucked away in his briefcase.
The vice he did not usually disclose or share with people is his affinity to smoke. It was a nasty habit he picked up in college, something that started as a social routine turned into a stress reliever. Although he didn’t do it often, he turned to it when a drink wasn’t available.
Today was one of those tense days where he needed that quick relief. He had brought a pack of Marlboro’s with him to court, just in case, and he silently thanked himself for doing so. For an entire month Barba and the SVU team worked closely with a client in a rape case, and even after the re-traumatizing of the victim, days of the jury deliberating, the perpetrator walked free. No justice was delivered.
Barba inhaled deeply as he stepped out of the courthouse and ducked into the designated smoking area. It was really just a glorified back alley way with a sign and dingy public ashtray that didn’t look like it had been cleaned in months.
Glancing to the right and to the left, he sighed. He really wished there was a bench out here. Defeated, he slumped against the wall, inching his way down until he sat on the hard concrete.
He took the pack out from the inside of his suit jacket, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between his lips. It hung there as he patted his pocket for the lighter, but didn’t feel it. After patting and double checking every pocket on his body he groaned, leaning his head against the wall.
Of course. Of course he forgot to grab a lighter, Barba thought. Just his luck.
The back door a few feet away from Barba clicked open, and he glanced up.
He was surprised to see Carisi standing there. Even more so surprised to see him pull out his own pack and light a cigarette between his lips.
Had he known that Carisi smoked? He racked his brain trying to recall if it had ever been mentioned, but he was sure he wouldn’t forget the image of Carisi’s lips wrapped around something, inhaling and exhaling smoke through his teeth. Either way, it was currently being burned into Barba’s brain.
“Carisi!” Barba called out muffled from around the cigarette.
Carisi jumped, taking the smoke out from his mouth as if he had just been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. When he turned to see Barba his shoulders relaxed slightly when he realised Barba was outside for the same reason.
“Oh, hey Barba.”
“I need a light, please.”
“Yeah, I got you.” Carisi pulled out his lighter from his pocket, extending it to Barba.
“It’s funny you think I’m getting up.”
Carisi laughed, and stepped forward. “Okay, Barba.” He stood in front of him, leaning down slightly to place the lighter at the end of Barba’s cigarette. As Carisi flicked the lighter on and Barba inhaled, it did not go beyond him the position they were in. If he looked past the flame, he’d be getting an entirely new view of the detective. Or rather a closer look at it.
Once the ember burned, Carisi pulled the lighter away and took a seat next to Barba against the wall.
Carisi frowned. “They should really put benches out here.”
“I agree.” Barba took a drag. “Since when do you smoke?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“I asked first.”
“Fair enough.” Carisi said, stubbing the butt of his cigarette on the ground next to him. “I started when I was undercover for a month at the shelter. All the guys would go down to the bodega, buy smokes, and hang out on that corner. At first it was a way to blend in but at some point whenever I got stressed I would go smoke even by myself.”
Carisi fidgeted with his hands, twisting invisible rings on his fingers. “I try not to do it too often but it’s been hard to break the habit. Please don’t tell the squad.”
“Why would they care? You’re an adult.”
Carisi shrugged, “I still get razzed for things I do, I don’t need this to be one of them.”
Barba couldn’t argue with that.
“So, how about you? You struck me as a cigar type of guy if anything. Luxury bathrobe sitting next to a fireplace and all that type of stuff.”
Barba snorted, cracking a grin. “I started back in college. I’m not a regular smoker by any means but it’s like you said, some habits are hard to kick.”
Barba took another hit, feeling the harsh smoke on the inhale before releasing. He could see Carisi staring at him in his peripheral. Overwhelmed with the uncomfortable feeling of being seen, he glanced away as he flicked ash onto the ground.
“What is it, Carisi?”
“Sorry, I’m just picturing a fresh faced Barba buying cigarettes for the first time. Were you nervous?” Carisi smiled loosely.
“My boyfriend at the time bought them for me. I may or may not have been trying to impress him.”
You would think Barba had just told Carisi that he won the lottery with the way his face lit up.
“That’s almost romantic, Barba. But I can’t believe you, of all people - falling into peer pressure!” Carisi shook his head, but broke into a goofy laughter that sounded like soft bells ringing in Barba’s ears.
Barba rolled his eyes. “Infatuation makes a person do dumb things.” He stubbed the butt of his cigarette on the ground, tossing it into the ashtray and turned to Carisi. He didn’t expect for Carisi to already be turned to him, icy blue eyes that contradicted itself by how warm they looked.
“Should we go back inside, now that we both smell like shit?” Barba asked, not breaking eye contact.
“Naw, do you want to ditch this place and get a coffee?” Carisi smiled.
Barba smiled back. “I know just the place.”