Archive of Our Own

For Sakusa Kiyoomi, the semester had been uneventful so far. He was doing great in all his classes; his personal and educational life couldn’t be better balanced, and for once, all his teachers were competent. He was two-thirds into the semester and was only missing a couple of projects and finals before going on vacation.

Of course, nothing ever goes perfectly for Sakusa. Before entering the classroom, he checked the list of partners selected by the teacher for the final project. Sakusa stared at his name and the one next to it, trying hard not to glare at the paper.

Sakusa Kiyoomi – Miya Atsumu

Sakusa took his usual seat by the window and sighed. He didn’t know Miya Atsumu personally, but he had heard what probably every other student on campus had. 

Miya Atsumu was a misfit. Sakusa knew that he had a bad reputation, an estranged family, no friends, and no one knew what kind of things he was up to.

Of course, people speculated many more things, but Sakusa didn’t know if they were true or just rumors. Flippant, rebellious, violent, and a jerk, Miya Atsumu was probably the last student anyone would want to work with, let alone befriend.

There was also the most known rumor about Miya Atsumu losing a semester because he was arrested for a serious felony.

Sakusa could already see himself working his ass off by himself. He took notes of every instruction the teacher gave before letting them free for the rest of the hour to work with their partners.

Sakusa didn’t even know if Miya was present, so he stayed seated, searching for a project independently.

“Hey, yer Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

Sakusa looked up only to be greeted by a lazy smirk and a patch of blond hair. 

“Yes,” Sakusa answered. “I guess you’re Miya Atsumu?” 

The man nodded, extending his hand. Sakusa took it. Miya pulled a chair over and sat before Sakusa, pulling out his laptop and notebook.

Sakusa couldn’t help but observe Miya. He seemed better than he had expected. He appeared to take good care of himself and had some notes regarding the project, so Sakusa hoped the class meant something to him.

“I was about to start searching for something relatively easy for us to do,” Sakusa started, not taking his eyes off his computer.

“Ya don’t need to do that; I’ve got our project already,” Miya answered. Sakusa stared at Miya with a raised eyebrow and a scowl he obviously didn’t see beneath his mask.

Sakusa expected Miya to be the typical student that offered random help initially and then expected the other person to do the complicated stuff. Instead, Miya presented Sakusa a well-balanced project idea.

It consisted in creating simulated sign language translation gloves. There already was some information on a document, which gave Sakusa the idea that this wasn’t the first time Miya had thought about this project.

“I was thinkin’ we could balance out the coding,” Miya explained. “I’m good at basic coding, so I could do the necessary programming so that the gloves translate by searchin’ through a database, and ya’ could do the programming for the actual glove system alongside the physical connections. The sensor system and that stuff.”

Sakusa considered all the information Miya had given him. He already had a program they could use for the simulation, and apart from that, the only thing missing would be to create the database together.

“If it’s not something yer’ interested in, we can always search for something else,” Miya said. “I am open to—”

“Let’s do it,” Sakusa cut off his rambling. He liked the project and especially liked that they could work on most of it separately.

Miya nodded excitedly and quickly typed something into his computer. “How about we settle on a schedule to see each other to work? That way, it’s faster and less messy to put together.”

Sakusa hummed. “No,” he replied shortly. “Look, Miya, I—”

“Don’t call me that.” Miya cut him off.

“What?”

“Don’t call me Miya,” he said seriously.

Sakusa glared at him. 

This asshole. 

“Then what am I supposed to call you?”

“Atsumu,” Miya answered with a shrug.

“We’re not friends,” Sakusa said.

“Look, Kiyoomi,” Atsumu said, making Sakusa deepen his glare. “I’m not a Miya. Call me Atsumu or whatever works for ya.”

“How about piece of trash?” Sakusa muttered.

In just a second, Miya was back to looking smug. “I’ve been called worse,” he said with a smirk.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, already hating his little time spent with Miya. They continued discussing until the end of the class period, mainly because Miya wanted to work together all the time and Sakusa wanted nothing to do with him.

In the end, Sakusa had to accept Miya was right. The project was more likely to work out if they did the programming together instead of just joining different codes.

Sakusa took a deep breath once he was away from Miya. He was a unique character, and Sakusa knew he would need all his patience to work with him. Still, Miya didn’t seem to be the person the rumors painted, but Sakusa didn’t know him, and he intended for it to stay that way.

Sakusa’s phone chimed with a message. He rolled his eyes when he saw Miya’s text with his new nickname. He would need more patience than the one he had.

***

Sakusa couldn’t help but steal glances at Miya as they worked. For how loud the guy typically was, he was surprisingly very silent when working. Sakusa thought he would need to stay on top of Miya for him to work, but instead, it was he who needed to concentrate.

Thankfully for Sakusa, Miya didn’t insist on hanging out outside their work schedule. Apart from constant texting, he wasn’t much of a bother. So Sakusa found himself not minding having to work with him present.

“Omi-Omi!” Miya exclaimed suddenly, making Sakusa jump. He glared at both the sudden loudness and the nickname.

“Don’t call me that,” Sakusa said for the hundredth time that day, but it was disregarded.

“Yer still making the same mistake I told ya earlier.” Miya turned his computer around to show him. Sakusa was about to reproach him when he noticed it was true.

Sakusa groaned. “Sorry, I’ll recheck the code to fix it.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Miya said, leaning back with his chair. “I fixed it for ya, I just wanted to remind ya so that ya don’t have to be checking on it.”

Sakusa nodded in thanks before turning back to work.

“Do ya ever take yer mask off?” Miya continued.

“No,” Sakusa replied shortly.

“Not even to take a bath?”

Sakusa raised an eyebrow at Miya and ignored him.

“I’ll take that as a no then,” Miya finished. Just as Sakusa thought he would be quiet again, Miya continued talking. “Are ya always this much of an asshole when someone talks to ya?”

“Excuse me?” Sakusa said immediately, glaring at him.

“I’ve been tryin’ to befriend ya for the whole week, and ya can’t seem to answer in complete answers without glaring at me,” Atsumu said. “I haven’t done anythin’ wrong, Kiyoomi.”

Have you? Sakusa thought, remembering all the rumors.

“I don’t want to be friends with you, Miya,” Sakusa replied, closing his laptop a bit too hard. “I just want to pass this class without any trouble.”

Miya opened his mouth to answer, but his gaze focused on something behind Sakusa. He turned back and noticed people at another table staring at them.

No.

Staring at Miya.

“Guess we’re done for today,” Miya mumbled, quickly putting his things away and leaving before Sakusa could answer.

Sakusa sighed and prepared to leave. Someone touched his back as he passed the table behind him.

“Hey man, you should probably stay away from him,” a guy told him. “We’ve all heard some nasty stuff.”

Sakusa stared them off as if any of it was of their business. “I know,” he replied shortly before leaving.

***

Later at night, Sakusa only received a single text from Miya, apologizing for what happened. He let the notification go away as he lay down on his bed.

Sakusa picked up his phone again and searched for Miya Atsumu on social media but only found an Instagram account for Miya Osamu. Upon further inspection, Sakusa only found one picture of Atsumu, which was old. He recalled one of the rumors about Miya being estranged from his family.

Sakusa didn’t know what to make of Miya Atsumu. He seemed… more normal than what everyone seemed to talk about. Still, there had to be a reason for all those rumors.

He rolled his eyes. Sakusa shouldn’t worry about what he thought of Miya. He hadn’t lied when he said he wasn’t interested in becoming friends. Still, something continued to bug him. Sakusa texted Komori to let him know he would come by the next day. If anything, his cousin usually helped him clear his mind.

***

“Do you think he sells stolen phones, and that’s how he pays his classes?” Komori asked, making Sakusa groan. They sat on his cousin’s lawn, lazily passing a baseball between them. Sakusa had already explained everything to Komori, but instead of having a serious conversation, his cousin insisted on asking about every dumb rumor he could think of Miya.

“I don’t know anything about what you’re asking,” Sakusa replied, throwing the ball with more strength than intended. “You’re not helping, Motoya.”

“Then how about the one where he ate a dog?” Komori asked absentmindedly, inspecting the ball.

Sakusa stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t think he ate a fucking dog.”

Komori just shrugged and threw him the ball, but Sakusa was already observing something else. A couple of houses down, across the street, a big dog ran out of a door and was followed by someone trying to catch it. 

More precisely, a blond guy that Sakusa could easily recognize.

Komori followed his gaze and noticed Miya walking with the dog on a leash.

“Does he live there?” Sakusa asked.

Komori shook his head. “Not that I know of. I think an old lady recently moved in,” he said. “You don’t think he stole the woman’s dog, do you?”

“Why am I supposed to know?” Sakusa asked back, standing up to follow.

“I thought you knew Miya,” Komori said, following Sakusa’s lead. Together they carefully trailed Miya and the dog.

Sakusa rolled his eyes. He was getting nowhere with Komori. “I know Atsumu, not know know him.”

“Atsumu?” Komori repeated.

“Shut up,” Sakusa muttered, just now realizing it had escaped him without wanting to.

They followed Miya from far away, ensuring he didn’t spot them. Sakusa constantly asked himself why he was even doing this. He didn’t care. Miya walked into a small dog park and sat on a bench before removing the dog’s leash.

“So, what do you think?” Komori whispered.

“I don’t know,” Sakusa repeated for the thousandth time that day.

Suddenly Miya took his headphones off. “I know yer followin’ me,” he said, turning around. Sakusa and Komori stared at each other before leaving their hiding spot.

“I thought ya didn’t want anythin’ to do with me outside the project, Sakusa,” Miya continued, staring directly at Sakusa.

Not Omi-Omi or Kiyoomi. Sakusa.

It made something turn in his stomach, and he almost felt nauseous. 

Miya turned his attention to Komori.

“Komori Motoya,” he said with a handwave. “Since this dumbass doesn’t seem to have any idea about social manners.”

Atsumu laughed. Truly laughed, not the simple chuckle he threw around Sakusa. It was… interesting.

“Well, I’m sure ya already know who I am,” Atsumu replied, getting an apologetic shrug from Komori. “Why were ya followin’ me?”

Sakusa and Komori stared at each other, but Sakusa refused to answer.

“Uhh… the dog?” Komori grimaced. “You’re not gonna eat it, right?” Sakusa elbowed him.

“What? No,” Miya answered with a chuckle that Sakusa now knew didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yer thinkin’ why I have it with me then.”

“I-I mean, not in a bad way, obviously,” Komori stammered. “Just curious.”

“Don’t worry,” Miya said calmly. Still, there was something off in his eyes now, something that Komori probably didn’t notice, but Sakusa did. He turned away, calling the dog back.

The dog seemed to sense Sakusa was a new friend. Instead of approaching Miya, it threw itself at him, making Sakusa fall back with a giant dog licking him all over the face.

“This big girl here is my nana’s,” Miya explained, finally calling the dog off Sakusa. “She can’t longer take her out on walks, so I do it for her on the weekends.”

Oh. That was completely different than what Sakusa and Komori had thought.

“How come we’ve never seen you in the neighborhood?” Sakusa asked, standing up and cleaning his jeans.

“She just recently moved here,” Miya explained. “Her previous house had two floors, and it was kinda difficult going up the stairs in a wheelchair, ya know?”

“Soooo, you take her dog out for a walk! That’s nice, man,” Komori said, giving him a fist bump. Sakusa groaned internally. He could already see his cousin getting along with Miya.

Miya stood up, leashing the dog again. “Guess I’ll be seein’ ya both around, then. Nice meeting ya, Komori-kun.” He turned to Sakusa and winked. “I’ll text ya later, Sakusa.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes but waved him off. They took a seat on the bench Miya had vacated. Sakusa leaned back and stared at the trees.

“I don’t get why you don’t like him,” Komori started.

Sakusa sighed. “You know the rumors.”

“Yeah, and he also calls his grandma Nana,” Komori replied. “Look, what I’m saying is, yeah, there are rumors, but they’re that. Rumors. You won’t know if it’s true until you try to get to know him.”

Sakusa stayed quiet. Mostly because he knew Komori was right. Maybe he had been an asshole toward Miya this whole time.

“I hate it when you’re right, Motoya,” Sakusa muttered. Maybe he could give Miya the benefit of the doubt.

***

Sakusa walked to their usual meeting place with a matcha boba tea. After talking with Komori, Sakusa decided he could give Miya a chance before judging him.

So Sakusa had bought Miya a drink like the one he sometimes carried to class as an apology. He noticed the familiar patch of blonde with his chair leaning back as he waited. Sakusa took a deep breath.

“Hey…” Sakusa started, putting down the drink in front of Miya. He was about to talk, but Sakusa stopped him. “Let me talk. I am sorry about last time; I shouldn’t have been so rude, so I apologize too.”

Miya stared at him, then at the drink, and back at Sakusa. 

“Are ya trying to poison me?” Miya blurted out.

Sakusa glared at him. “Maybe I should’ve.”

Miya grabbed the drink and took a long gulp without breaking eye contact.

“Thank you,” Miya said, taking Sakusa off guard. He nodded, taking his seat opposite Miya.

“How did ya know I like matcha boba tea?” Miya asked, already more than halfway through the large drink.

“I’ve seen you carry it to class,” Sakusa said with a shrug. He thought that marked the end of the conversation, but the interaction seemed to turn Miya’s social switch on.

Miya smirked. “So, ya observe me.”

“With that patch of bleached hair shining into my eyesight, it’s hard not to.” Sakusa huffed out teasingly.

“Is Omi-Omi makin’ a joke?” Miya feigned a gasp.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, but he let a smile appear beneath his mask. Not that he would give him the satisfaction of knowing.

“Let’s start working, Atsumu.”

“Sir, yessir,” Atsumu replied with a genuine smile.

***

After that day, Sakusa discovered how easy it was for him to get along with Atsumu now that he was trying to. There were still moments when Atsumu still riled him up, but it was just that.

Now, Sakusa found himself texting him more, saving a seat for Atsumu in class, and even talking with him outside their working hours.

In the end, Sakusa enjoyed spending time with him, and just like that, one day, Miya became Atsumu.

They were on schedule with their project, which was coming along nicely. If they continued at that same pace, they might even finish it earlier than expected.

Sakusa yawned as he walked to the grocery store nearest the university. Usually, at this hour, he would still be at the gym, but he was tired from working until late on his classes. He just wanted to buy something to eat so he could get home and fall asleep early.

Sakusa was debating whether to buy something with tofu or some meat buns when someone interrupted him.

“The food won’t go away if you blink.”

Sakusa turned to see Atsumu with the store’s uniform, a broom, and a very ugly bandana on his hair. He snorted with laughter at how horrible the bandana looked.

“What are ya laughing at, asshole?” exclaimed Atsumu, almost attacking him with the broom.

“Sorry, it’s just the bandana looks so dumb on you,” Sakusa said, laughing again. “It melts into your head.”

“I can throw ya out of the store, Omi-Omi,” Atsumu muttered.

“I doubt you can,” Sakusa replied, focusing again on the food and choosing the buns. “Didn’t know you had a job.”

Atsumu shrugged. “Yeah, that’s how I pay for almost everything,” he said as he followed Sakusa over to the cashier.

Sakusa hadn’t thought about that. If Atsumu indeed didn’t have any connection to his family, it made perfect sense. However, he doubted that would be enough money to pay for his studies.

“Do ya live nearby?” Atsumu asked. “It’s weird that we’ve never bumped into each other before.”

“Kind of,” Sakusa replied, taking the bag of food. “I live around ten to fifteen minutes from if you go by bus, but in the other direction.”

Atsumu was about to continue when someone talked. It came from inside the room behind the counter.

“Atsumu!” a man exclaimed, scaring Atsumu. “What have I told you about wasting the customer’s time?”

“Sorry!” Atsumu replied. He quickly came around the counter and started pushing Sakusa out of the store. “It’s just, uh, someone I know!”

Sakusa was lost. “What’s happening?” 

“Nothin’,” Atsumu whispered. “Just go; if he sees you, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Two hands grabbed Sakusa’s and Atsumu’s shoulders, making them jump in surprise.

“What are you brats whispering about?” the man asked.

“Nothin’ Ukai-san,” Atsumu said in a high-pitched voice before clearing his throat. “Omi—I mean, Sakusa was just leaving.”

Ukai-san turned his attention to Sakusa and smirked. “So, you’re the guy Atsumu’s been talking about lately.”

“Don’t say that!” Atsumu exclaimed, ears turning pink.

What?

Atsumu talked about him?

“Nice to meet you,” Sakusa replied, bowing down but completely lost about what was happening. “I’ll leave now?”

“Yes, please,” Atsumu said at the same time Ukai-san talked.

“You can stay or come by as much as you like.”

Atsumu groaned, taking Sakusa’s arm and pulling him out of the store, not before hearing Ukai-san calling out Atsumu’s working hours.

“Sorry about that,” Atsumu muttered, looking mortified. “Ukai-san likes to tease me about everythin’.”

“Just like someone I know,” Sakusa replied with a pointed glance.

Atsumu laughed, walking back towards the store. “Goodnight, Omi-Omi!” he said. “See ya tomorrow.”

Sakusa replied with a wave of his hand and started walking back to catch the next bus, thinking about what he had heard.

Why would Atsumu talk about him?

And worse of all, why did Sakusa feel strange about it?

***

After the small incident at the store, Sakusa’s mind was scattered. The more time he spent around Atsumu, the more he realized how wrong everyone was about him.

Except you didn’t get those kinds of rumors out of nowhere, either. 

Sakusa sighed. It shouldn’t be so hard, but his mind couldn’t make sense of the situation. To make things impossibly worse, Sakusa felt something twist and turn in his gut whenever he thought about Atsumu.

Which seemed to be a lot these days.

Just as he arrived at class, Sakusa got a call from Atsumu. 

“Omi-Omi!” Atsumu greeted. Sakusa wondered how one could be just as loud through the phone.

“Good morning, Atsumu,” Sakusa replied. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I was just calling to tell ya I won’t be able to make it to university today—shit, wait.”

Sakusa heard Atsumu yelp as something fell to the ground.

“Sorry, I almost let some boxes fall,” Atsumu continued.

“You’re at work?” Sakusa asked.

“Yes, Ukai-san asked me to take care of it for today. He needed to leave for his family’s farm outside the city,” Atsumu explained. “It was unexpected, that’s why I didn’t tell ya before; sorry about it.”

“Don’t worry,” Sakusa said. “I guess you won’t be able to make it to our work meeting either?”

“No, sorry again,” Atsumu replied. “I’ll repay ya, though, and I’ll still do my part when I get outta here.”

Sakusa hummed as he thought about it. He had gotten used to their routine that it felt out of place not seeing Atsumu for a whole day.

“How about I come over to work there?” Sakusa offered. “I wouldn’t mind. That way, you won’t be alone.”

The last part left Sakusa’s mouth before he even thought about it. He mentally cursed.

Atsumu laughed softly. “That would be perfect, actually,” he said. “See ya later then.”

Sakusa ended the call before he embarrassed himself even more, but he couldn’t wait to finish the day and head for the store.

***

Sakusa sat at a small table near the counter as he worked. Thankfully, the store wasn’t too full, so Atsumu had time to sit across from Sakusa occasionally.

Sakusa took off his mask and left it on the table as he drank from his canned coffee.

“Omi, could ya explain this part of the code?” Atsumu asked, looking up from his screen. It was brief. So briefly that Sakusa thought he had imagined it, but he noticed Atsumu staring at his lips for a split second before turning his laptop to show him his screen.

Sakusa had previously taken his mask off in front of Atsumu, although only for a short time. He checked what Atsumu was asking, stealing a glance at him. He didn’t notice any more lingering looks.

“That’s just like a shortcut for recalling the sensor’s variables,” Sakusa replied. Atsumu nodded, rechecking the code.

“Oh, I wanted to show you somethin’ else,” Atsumu started. “I know we’re kind of supposed to do this part together, but I wanted to try it out beforehand.”

Atsumu disconnected his mouse and charger from his laptop before moving to sit next to Sakusa. He started showing him something on the program, but Sakusa couldn’t concentrate.

Or rather, he could only concentrate on the heat where their bodies of their bodies, merely inches apart, calling at Sakusa to close the distance.

“I tried registerin’ the numbers in sign language, and now it works,” Atsumu explained. “I just need to move the fingers into position, and it should show the translation.”

Atsumu tried doing it, but his mousepad got stuck. He cursed and reached out to grab his mouse again.

Except he practically reached out all over Sakusa, and for a moment, Sakusa’s brain short-circuited. Sakusa involuntarily took a deep breath, and, holy shit, that made it even worse because Atsumu smelled really, really good.

Sakusa stood up quickly, almost letting his chair fall and scaring Atsumu in the process.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Sakusa muttered before leaving the table. Once in the bathroom, Sakusa cursed when he noticed he forgot his mask.

Sakusa stared at his reflection and noticed a faint blush across his cheeks. He didn’t easily blush, but everything about those few seconds felt intoxicating. Like every single nerve on Sakusa’s body was on fire.

Sakusa washed his hands before splashing water on his face to cool off. He stared at himself again, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

It was probably his mind playing tricks on him, but Sakusa could swear he could smell Atsumu’s scent on him.

“Fuck,” Sakusa whispered, his knuckles going white from where he held the edge of the sink.

He finally realized it.

Sakusa Kiyoomi had fallen for Miya Atsumu.

Sakusa collected himself enough to get back to work with Atsumu. He was attending to a customer, so Sakusa was spared the embarrassment of what had happened.

“Ya okay?” Atsumu asked, taking a seat next to Sakusa again.

Sakusa nodded. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

Thankfully, Atsumu seemed to let it go and continued where he had left his explanation.

***

It was already night when Ukai-san returned to the store and let Atsumu go. Sakusa was getting ready to leave when Atsumu approached him, back in regular clothes and no bandana.

His hair was ruffled, and Sakusa had to keep his hands from moving on their own to fix it.

“Hey, Omi-Omi, do ya need to get home early?” Atsumu asked.

“Not really,” Sakusa answered. “I live alone.”

“In that case, I was wondering if I could take ya someplace else before heading home,” Atsumu finished, adding an innocent smile.

Sakusa stared at him suspiciously. “I swear if you take me somewhere—”

“It’s not somewhere bad, I promise!” Atsumu exclaimed with an eye roll.

“You’re going to kidnap me and then kill me, aren’t you?” Sakusa continued jokingly.

Atsumu sniggered. “Come on, Omi-Omi, don’t ya trust me?”

And strangely enough, Sakusa found out that he did trust Atsumu. He nodded and let Atsumu guide him to his car. It was a small, normal-looking car, worn out but still a working car, nonetheless.

Sakusa noticed the car was cleaner than expected, so he decided to take off his mask.

“Aw, Omi-kun trusts me enough to put his mask away in my car,” Atsumu singsonged as he started driving.

“It’s a clean space, that’s why,” Sakusa said. “Where are you taking me?”

Atsumu hummed. “It’s a surprise,” he answered. “It’s around a thirty-minute ride without traffic.”

The trip was quiet, which was weird considering Atsumu was always loud around Sakusa, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable.

“Usually, when I make this trip, I like to turn the radio on, let my windows all the way down, and the music all the way up,” Atsumu said after some time in silence. “Then I just sing or scream at the top of my lungs. Best feelin’ ever.”

“Why do you do it?” Sakusa asked.

Atsumu only shrugged. “Feels liberatin’,” he replied. “Wanna try?”

Before Sakusa could answer, the windows were already down, and Atsumu had turned the radio on. Sakusa wasn’t much for listening to music, but he could distinguish the song because of its popularity.

Atsumu started singing, but the mix of the music and the wind drowned his voice. Sakusa was amazed at how carefree and happy Atsumu seemed.

Since they met, Atsumu had been outgoing around him, but Sakusa quickly discovered it wasn’t entirely true. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and there was this wall surrounding his feelings that never let Atsumu show his true self.

Right now, Sakusa could see Atsumu for who he truly was. Sakusa was quickly enveloped in Atsumu’s enthusiasm, singing even if he didn’t know the complete song and smiling just as big.

Without Sakusa noticing, they had arrived at their destination. Sakusa felt like he was soaring through the sky, still singing his throat raw. He wished it would continue forever.

“Let’s go,” Atsumu said softly, pulling him out of his reverie. Sakusa waited for Atsumu as he took a bag out of the car and guided him to the top of a hill.

Sakusa could see why Atsumu wanted to take him there. The sight was utterly breathtaking. The stars were shining in the night sky, and beneath, the lights from the houses looked just as mesmerizing.

“Nice view, right?” Atsumu said softly, but he was observing Sakusa.

Sakusa nodded, still absorbed by the beauty of the place. Atsumu set down a blanket big enough for them to lie down and brought some meatballs, sushi, and sodas.

“I never thought you were one to appreciate nature,” Sakusa commented before sitting beside Atsumu. The wind made Sakusa feel cold, so Atsumu’s warmth next to him felt welcoming.

“Yer hurtin’ me here, Omi-kun,” Atsumu exclaimed, feigning hurt. He took a piece of sushi before continuing. “I always come here whenever I wanna clear my mind.”

Sakusa hummed. “So... what did you want to clear your mind about today?”

Atsumu stayed quiet, debating what to answer. “Nothin’ really,” he decided. “Just wanted to show ya.”

They both stayed quiet for a while, enjoying the food and the company of each other before Atsumu spoke again.

“How about we play ten questions, Omi-Omi!”

Sakusa stared at him. “We’re not teens on a sleepover, Atsumu.”

“Yeah, well, we don’t really know each other either,” Atsumu said with a roll of his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll start.” Sakusa complied. “Do you want simple questions or strong ones?”

“Ooh, do strong ones,” Atsumu answered immediately.

Sakusa thought about it. “Dogs or cats?”

Atsumu gasped jokingly. “Such a provocative question, Kiyoomi,” he said, making Sakusa laugh. “I prefer dogs. How about ya?”

“Cats,” Sakusa answered. “I bet you can’t guess why.”

“They’re not as demanding as dogs?” Atsumu tried.

“Almost, but it’s because they’re cleaner than dogs,” Sakusa explained.

They continued with the questions, slowly escalating from goofy to more serious ones.

“I like boys,” Atsumu replied sheepishly, rubbing at his neck nervously. “Haven’t had a boyfriend before, though.”

“I think I’m bisexual,” Sakusa answered because Atsumu only seemed to ask his own questions back. “Although I haven’t had any boyfriends either.”

“Life is too complicated for romance either way,” Atsumu said with a shrug. Sakusa nodded in acceptance, but something in him twisted.

They were lying down, having finished eating, staring at the stars, and talking the night away.

“How was your childhood?” Sakusa asked quietly.

Atsumu stayed silent for a while, and just when Sakusa thought he wouldn’t answer, he started talking.

“It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad either. I had home, food, and education, but I never quite fit in,” he started. “My brother Osamu was everyone’s favorite, not only our parents but also our whole family and friends. Even though we were twins, I was always Osamu’s brother. It was never Osamu and Atsumu; it had to be Osamu and his brother—the second Miya.

“I didn’t mind it, though, or at least I tried not to,” Atsumu finished. He turned to face Sakusa. “How about your childhood, Omi-kun?”

Sakusa turned to face him, too, and scrunched his nose. “It was average. You know, the typical family with parents with good jobs and kids with too high expectations,” he said. “Since I was young, I learned how to play many instruments, studied to get good grades, that kind of stuff.

“It wasn’t bad at all. Loving parents that only seemed to care about you because of how they wanted to be perceived,” Sakusa continued, “but caring, nonetheless. It wasn’t the most desirable childhood, knowing your parents didn’t truly care beyond what they wanted for you. Everything just felt…”

“Hollow?” Atsumu offered softly.

“Yeah… like nothing was truly happening at all…” Sakusa trailed off, thinking about what he had said. “Sorry, it’s pretty shitty of me to complain about such a normal family to you.”

Atsumu shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said. “I get what ya meant.”

Atsumu stared back at the sky, but Sakusa continued to observe Atsumu. Before he could think of it, the words left his mouth.

“What happened to you?”

Atsumu visibly tensed for a moment before sitting up. Sakusa cursed, realizing what he had asked.

“I’m so sorry, it slipped,” Sakusa apologized as he sat up, too.

Atsumu shook his head. “It’s okay,” he said quietly. “I really set myself up for this.”

“You don’t have to answer,” Sakusa replied immediately. “Let’s just forget I asked.”

“I’ll have to tell ya someday anyways... better now than hold it off.” Atsumu stared straight ahead as he talked. “Just promise me ya won’t judge.”

“I won’t,” Sakusa promised. Atsumu nodded absentmindedly before starting.

“I’ve never been a dumb kid; ever since I was young, I knew my parents didn’t like me. So, I had enough sense of self-preservation to start savin’ money since I was fifteen, I think? I just knew my parents would probably get rid of me at some point, which did happen.”

Atsumu sounded void of feeling as he talked as if he were explaining the plot of a movie and not his life.

“At least the moment they kicked me out, they had enough decency to give me enough money for the first month. It had been difficult, I tried gettin’ a lot of jobs to save as much as possible, and I didn’t sleep for longer than one or two hours.

“My parents gave me two weeks to find someplace to live before they threw my stuff out, but with the money I had, it wasn’t enough for a nice place or even a good neighborhood,” Atsumu continued. “I had to go around on my bicycle like crazy, searchin’ for anything I could afford. That’s how I found this place by accident.

“Just at the end of the two-week notice, I was on the verge of a panic attack, thinking I would’ve to sleep on the street. To this day, I have not forgotten that feeling of despair… thankfully, one of my bosses told me they could lend me a room to keep my stuff while I found an apartment, so I did that. I didn’t have much stuff anyways; I just took my clothes, phone, and computer with me. I left when no one was at home, not that they cared. I—I had wanted to say goodbye to Osamu but opted not to.”

Atsumu took a deep breath before continuing. “I slept on a small cot in a storage room for almost three weeks before I got the courage to ask my nana for help.”

Sakusa wanted to ask many questions but knew it wasn’t the right moment, so he let Atsumu continue.

“She was the only one on my side since forever, and what nice things I got for myself were a gift from her. She’s got my grandpa’s life savings for herself since everyone else thinks she’s going senile and don’t pay her much attention,” Atsumu said, a small smile on his face as he talked about his grandma.

“I was the only one who truly loved her without any bad intentions at heart. So, I went to her and explained that I would no longer live with my parents but still needed help. I didn’t take much money, just whenever I was missing a bit. She also helped me pay for some of my classes. That’s why I sometimes take few.”

They stayed quiet for some time. Sakusa processed everything Atsumu had told him but didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to ask so much, but he wanted to comfort Atsumu overall.

“I guess yer wondering why they kicked me out,” Atsumu said quietly.

Sakusa shook his head. “You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to,” he replied. Sakusa swallowed his fear and put his hand on top of Atsumu’s, pressing slightly.

“I trust ya, Kiyoomi,” Atsumu confessed, “and I want ya to be able to trust me too. It’s okay.”

Sakusa stayed quiet, letting Atsumu decide when to continue. Before talking, Atsumu turned his hand and softly took Sakusa’s in his.

“You’ve probably heard the rumor already, but I got kicked out because I had to spend a day at a prison cell over at a police station,” Atsumu said. Sakusa stared at him but didn’t dare to interrupt. “Even though everyone preferred Osamu, I had nothing against my brother. I loved him and cared about him, but he didn’t have good friends. Even if I tried to make him understand, he just wouldn’t listen.

“So, one day, I realized Osamu was leaving in the middle of the night. I followed, and sure enough, he went out with his friends. It was hard to follow them on foot, and by the time I got there, they had started vandalizin’ someone’s house.”

Atsumu explained everything carefully as if he were replaying that night again in his mind.

“I tried to take Osamu away with me, and he got mad that I was getting in the way. He hadn’t noticed that his friends had already run away, and a police car was coming upfront. I managed to push Osamu into some bushes, and he had the right mind to stay hidden, but apparently, one of the girls there recognized me.

“In the end, I was taken into custody, and when I called my parents to bail me out, they got mad at me,” Atsumu continued, his voice going quieter as he talked. “I tried explainin’, but of course, they didn’t believe it had been Osamu. They left me at the station until the twenty-four hours had passed, and I was free to go without charge. After that… well, ya already know how the story goes.”

Sakusa noticed a tear stream down Atsumu’s cheek. He quickly cleaned them before looking away. Sakusa felt at a loss for words, so instead, he hugged Atsumu.

“I’m sorry you’ve gone through so much,” Sakusa whispered. Atsumu froze at the sudden gesture but slowly melted into Sakusa’s embrace with a shudder. Sakusa wondered when the last time was that Atsumu had been hugged.

“I’m sorry you didn’t have anyone back then,” Sakusa continued softly, “but I’m here now, and I won’t go away. Whatever you go through now, I’ll be by your side.”

“Kiyoomi…” Atsumu started, “thank you.”

They stayed like that for another moment before separating. Sakusa missed the warmth of Atsumu’s embrace.

“I think it’s time we head back,” Atsumu said, starting to pick everything up. Sakusa nodded, following Atsumu to his car.

“Did your brother ever leave his friends?” Sakusa asked once inside.

Atsumu stayed quiet. “Yeah, uh, something happened, I guess.”

Sakusa knew there was something Atsumu was not telling him, but he decided to let it go. The car ride back was silent again, just the music playing softly in the background. At some point, Atsumu leaned over and took Sakusa’s hand while driving with the other one.

It had made Sakusa blush, but he didn’t take it away. Sakusa regretted stepping out of the car and letting Atsumu’s hand go. Once outside, he leaned on the car as Atsumu came around.

“Thank ya for comin’ with me,” Atsumu said softly. He positioned himself next to Sakusa so Sakusa leaned into him.

They stayed that way, savoring each other, but Sakusa could feel Atsumu wanted to talk. That was how much he knew Atsumu now.

“I know you want to say something.”

Atsumu chuckled. “I was just thinkin’ I didn’t get to ask my tenth question,” he replied.

“You can ask right now,” Sakusa said as he turned to face him. Atsumu stared directly into his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Would ya let me kiss ya?”

Atsumu’s voice sounded delicate, and Sakusa found himself entranced by the blond’s brown eyes observing him.

“Yes, please.”

Atsumu took his face carefully as if Sakusa were something to be treated with the utmost care. Sakusa exhaled as their lips touched, shy at first but with more intensity the second time.

If Sakusa were to describe their kiss, he would be at a loss for words. It made him feel as if time had stopped altogether, and the only thing in existence was Atsumu’s hold, Atsumu’s warmth, Atsumu’s lips on his.

As they separated, Sakusa took a deep breath and hid his face on Atsumu’s neck. Atsumu shivered and closed his arms around Sakusa.

“I liked that,” Sakusa whispered.

He felt Atsumu slightly nod. “I liked it too,” he replied.

Sakusa definitely didn’t want to go inside now, but it was late, and tomorrow life would still continue, and they still had to go to classes.

“I should head inside,” Sakusa said, again separating from Atsumu. He took Atsumu’s hand one last time and gently squeezed it.

Atsumu smiled at Sakusa before raising his hand and giving a soft kiss. “Goodnight, Kiyoomi,” he whispered.

Sakusa blushed and nodded in response, his words failing him again like they seemed to happen around Atsumu. He went inside at last and peeked through the window. Atsumu was back again leaning against his car with the biggest smile on his face.

***

Surprisingly, their dynamic didn’t change much after their first kiss. They both decided they had feelings for each other but wanted to take it slow and be sure of everything before committing.

They continued to work daily on the project, and now Sakusa even accompanied Atsumu to his work some days just to hang out while he worked.

Sakusa couldn’t believe where his life was now. He felt like he was on cloud nine, and nothing would get him back down. He now understood and knew who Miya Atsumu was, and Sakusa liked him for it.

Sakusa’s life really couldn’t be better.

“I’ll see ya over at Ukai’s?” Atsumu asked as he got ready for his next class.

Sakusa nodded in response. “Want me to bring you boba tea?”

“Yes, please, we’re still out of stock at the store,” Atsumu replied, squeezing his hand before leaving.

***

Sakusa picked nervously at the lid of his drink as he tried and failed to focus on his work. It was late already, but the store still had customers around since it was Friday night.

He was waiting for the perfect moment to ask Atsumu something, but he was still busy at the counter. They hadn’t talked it yet, but Sakusa had thought it through and wouldn’t mind it happening. The problem was he didn’t know if Atsumu would think it was going too fast.

“How long are ya gonna stare at yer computer?” Atsumu asked. He had sat next to Sakusa and was leaning on his hand. “If ya wanna stare at somethin’ pretty, just look at me.”

Sakusa rolled his eyes but smiled. “Sorry, I just have some stuff on my mind right now.”

“I should be finishin’ in around fifteen minutes,” Atsumu said, checking the time. “Want to do something afterwards?”

“Yes… I actually wanted to ask you something,” Sakusa started, taking a deep breath. “I wanted to know if you want to spend the night at my place. We could watch some movies, eat popcorn… that is if you find it okay and don’t think I’m rushing it.”

Atsumu’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I don’t think yer rushin’ anything,” he replied. “I’m up for it; just wait for me a couple minutes more.”

Sakusa let out a sigh. It had been nothing to worry about. He got his stuff ready and decided to wait for Atsumu outside the store.

Sakusa took a seat on a nearby bench and closed his eyes. The cold air ruffled his hair softly, giving him goosebumps. He heard footsteps approaching and opened his eyes, expecting it to be Atsumu.

Instead, he was greeted by two men he didn’t recognize.

“Excuse me, is that Miya Atsumu?” the first guy asked.

Sakusa stared at him before nodding.

“And you’re with him?” the guy continued. “You’re friends?”

Sakusa didn’t like where the conversation was going. He stood up to face the two men.

“It’s none of your business,” Sakusa answered shortly. He noticed Atsumu coming towards him out of the corner of his eye.

“Omi-Omi, thanks for –” Atsumu froze mid-sentence when he noticed the men. Sakusa waited for Atsumu to continue, but he didn’t move.

“Let’s go, Atsumu,” Sakusa said loudly, taking Atsumu’s arm.

“Did he tell you what happened?” the guy asked. Sakusa stopped for a moment before continuing to walk to the car.

“I know,” Sakusa said.

“Oh, so did he tell you he beat us up and threatened to kill us if we didn’t leave his brother alone?”

Sakusa should’ve continued walking. He should’ve ignored everything this random guy was telling him. He made the mistake of looking at Atsumu, and Sakusa felt his heart fall to his stomach.

It showed all over Atsumu’s face. Everything the man had said was true.

“He left four of us hospitalized,” the guy continued loudly. “Be careful, lest it happens to you too.”

Everything happened so fast Sakusa didn’t even get a chance to react. One moment he was holding Atsumu’s arm and the next, Atsumu had already thrown himself at the guy, punching him in the face.

They fell to the ground, and Sakusa felt sick as he watched Atsumu hit the guy without a second thought. The other man’s friend was too shocked to react, so Sakusa tried to pull Atsumu away.

Except Atsumu wasn’t stopping, and Sakusa didn’t know what the hell to do. He tried holding back Atsumu’s arms and was sent flying back.

“Fuck, Atsumu!” Sakusa exclaimed, holding his cheek from where Atsumu had hit him with his elbow to push him away. He tasted blood and wanted to vomit.

That seemed to take Atsumu out of his reverie. He quickly left the guy on the floor and stared at Sakusa with lost fearful eyes.

“Hey, you there!” someone yelled across the street. No one waited to find out who it was. Atsumu quickly helped Sakusa up and took his hand as they ran to the car. Sakusa instinctively took his hand away.

Once in the car, Atsumu quickly started the engine and drove away. The whole ride over to Sakusa’s place was silent. Sakusa stared straight ahead and only took a glance at Atsumu, noticing his bruised knuckles before staring away.

Sakusa closed his eyes, but it made everything more intense. The side of his face was on fire, his head hurt like shit, and he felt nauseous. The car stopped, and Sakusa opened his eyes again to see they were in front of his house.

“Kiyoomi, I’m—”

“Why did you lie to me?” Sakusa interrupted Atsumu. He was still looking straight ahead, not wanting to see the man beside him. Atsumu looked away.

“Everything everyone had said about you, you slowly tore it down. I realized everyone had been wrong about you,” Sakusa continued. “So why did you lie to me?”

Atsumu stayed quiet. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“You don’t know?” Sakusa repeated, turning to face him at last. His blood was boiling, mixing with the pain on his cheek. “You just simply decided to leave out such an important detail? And you don’t fucking know why?”

“Oh, fuck ya, Sakusa, I was scared!” Atsumu exclaimed, tears starting to well up. “I never should’ve told ya any of this shit. I was so wrong to think perfect little Sakusa would be different from everyone else who judged without knowing me, but yer worse. Ya knew, and still, ya judged.”

Atsumu turned to face him as he continued talking. “It was stupid of me to think such a snob-ass like ya with yer perfect little family would understand what it was to be treated like trash since the day you were born,” he said, voice breaking. “Ya don’t know shit about real life, Sakusa.”

“Oh, so I’m the bad guy now!” Sakusa answered with exasperation. “I am the one with the shitty as fuck attitude who, instead of trying to change for the better, can’t stop crying and blaming it on others.”

Atsumu laughed ruefully and rolled his eyes. “Well, yer not exactly a sweetheart either, hun.”

“Don’t talk to me outside the project, Miya,” Sakusa said shortly. He left the car and threw the door closed before Miya could continue.

Once inside, Sakusa immediately went to his room to lie down on his bed. He took his pillow and screamed into it until his throat felt raw and his cheek hurt from the exertion.

Sakusa took a deep breath before walking to the bathroom. He checked his bruise on the mirror. Thankfully, it only seemed to be superficial, but it was starting to turn an ugly shade of purple.

With any luck, it will have subsided enough for Monday, so Sakusa put some cream on it and a pack of ice. He turned his music on loudly and let it drown out any thought.

***

Atsumu didn’t wait for Sakusa to get inside. He drove off, not knowing where he was going nor how fast he was driving. He almost cried before, but now his eyes felt hot as tears spilled uncontrollably, blurring his vision.

Atsumu came to a stop at a random place before he did something stupid he would regret. He gripped the wheel tightly before screaming.

“Fuck!” Atsumu yelled. He walked out of the car, not bothering to close the door, and collapsed to the ground, the dirt digging into the palm of his hands.

The coldness of the night wind hitting his skin made everything feel more real. It was always the same old story. No matter how hard Atsumu tried, it was always the same ending.

Atsumu would always fuck up, one way or another.

Atsumu should be used to it by now. He should be used to the gnawing hole that always ripped apart at his heart whenever he disappointed someone. 

Atsumu should be used to this, but why did this time feel like it would tear his whole being in half? He could feel himself fall into despair despite being used to people leaving his life. It was just a matter of time before his heart gave out.

Cursing, Atsumu clutched at his chest as he felt an anxiety attack creep up on him. His breaths came out raggedly, and he forced himself on his back to expand his chest. He stared at the sky as he tried to normalize his breathing, but his vision started to black out, so he closed his eyes instead.

“Fuck,” Atsumu whispered, feeling his whole world start to crumble over him once again.

***

Next week, Atsumu and Sakusa continued working on the project, but everything felt wrong and out of place. Neither of them talked, and neither of them gave a second glance at the other person. Atsumu noticed Sakusa’s cheek looked better, but he didn’t dare ask about it.

The whole week went on like that.

Meet for an hour and a half of silent work; leave afterwards without saying anything. It was slowly destroying Atsumu. He tried starting a conversation, but each time Sakusa would ignore him or cut him off with something project related. 

Atsumu gave up after that. He didn’t even go to work that week and excused himself with Ukai-san. He used his free time to walk around until his body felt sore, and he could just pass out to sleep.

A week passed like that, and Atsumu couldn’t hold it together anymore. The anxiety and the loneliness were eating him alive. He couldn’t sleep because everything from that day came to his mind, and Atsumu could only wonder what he could’ve done differently.

Before he continued drowning on that thought, Atsumu decided he needed to at least try talking with Sakusa one last time.

***

Sakusa had no problem getting back on his regular routine before Miya. He went back to the gym after classes, took his usual bus back home, and studied until he was too tired to think.

It was normal once again, but it also felt strange. Sakusa's new normal had involved Miya for the last couple of days, and even though it hadn’t been much time, it had stuck with him. Now he just had to forget about it.

Leaving aside the project, they never talked again, and Sakusa intended to keep it that way. Still, he could feel himself subconsciously looking out for Atsumu. He once caught himself going to buy a boba tea before he realized it and had almost called another time to check if he was still at work.

Sakusa chastised himself whenever it happened, and it was easy to forget about it for a while. It wasn’t as easy ignoring the hollow feeling inside him.

Sakusa hadn’t felt hollow in a long time. Not since he had decided to live for himself and not his parents, but now he felt that same familiar coldness taking hold of him from the inside out.

Sakusa sighed tiredly as he walked to meet up with Miya. At least it was Friday, so they only had to meet once more before resting for the weekend.

As usual, they worked in silence and talked only when needed. A glance at Miya told Sakusa he hadn’t been sleeping for who knew how long. He couldn’t do anything about it, so he focused back on his work.

Soon enough, it was time to leave. Sakusa packed everything away as he stood up. He was almost done when Miya talked.

“Sakusa, I need to talk with ya’,” he said quickly, afraid Sakusa would get away before he said anything.

“No, I’m heading home already,” Sakusa replied, staring directly at him. “I don’t wanna talk anyways,” he added, “and there’s nothing you would say that could change anything.”

Atsumu looked away, defeated, and didn’t try to continue. Sakusa took that as his chance to leave, but he could swear he heard Atsumu whisper.

“I miss you.”

Sakusa did go home after meeting with Miya. He threw himself on the bed and lay there for a long time. He closed his eyes and put his arm over his face.

It was a complete disaster. Everything about this damned situation was fucking stupid the more Sakusa thought about it.

In retrospect, Atsumu would obviously want to keep out some of the worst things of his life from Sakusa. Atsumu had been judged for existing all his life. Of course he feared sharing that information with anyone.

Sakusa still couldn’t help but be mad at Miya. Mad because he hadn’t trusted him enough to confide in him, and maybe that was it. Sakusa wasn’t really angry at Atsumu for something he had done in the past. He wasn’t angry at Atsumu for lashing out at him, either.

Sakusa felt betrayed. He felt hurt after Atsumu hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him and believed Sakusa wouldn’t judge him.

Which Sakusa ended up proving right. In the end, he did judge Atsumu and was right to get angry too. After everything he had gone through, it had probably been a stab in the back.

Hell, Atsumu had trusted him with his past, and Sakusa still had thought he had the right to feel betrayed just because of what he had left out.

Atsumu was right. They needed to talk it out properly, but Sakusa yawned, mentally and physically exhausted. He slowly drifted to sleep, not wanting yet to face his problems.

***

Atsumu tried calling Sakusa one more time, but the phone rang and rang and was never answered. He was still at university, trying to finish his homework, but his mind was too adrift.

It was already night when Atsumu left and walked his way back home. He considered getting something to eat just to fill his stomach, but he didn’t feel hungry.

Maybe after the long weekend, he could try talking with Sakusa with better luck. The time apart may give them both a clearer mind too. Atsumu was passing by two buildings when someone pulled him into the alley's darkness.

Atsumu cursed as he hit the floor. He fell face first, avoiding falling over the laptop in his backpack.

“The fuck is wrong with ya?!” Atsumu exclaimed. He tried getting back up and received a kick to the gut. Someone took his backpack and threw it away.

Atsumu scooted back and gained enough leverage to stand up.

“Hello, Miya,” the guy before him said. Atsumu belatedly noticed two more men standing behind him. “Remember us?”

And Atsumu did. These guys were Osamu’s so-called friends. The same ones he had seen with Sakusa the day of their fight.

“Of course,” Atsumu answered, raising his fists. “Came back for me to kick yer asses again?”

Atsumu was ready to fight when the guy before him took out a small blade. Atsumu stepped back instinctively and threw his elbow out when someone tried to grab him. He received a punch in the face and was pushed towards the armed man. 

Atsumu reacted just in time to move away from the slashes but still got nicked multiple times. He grimaced at the burning ache in his body. Being too focused on the man with the knife, Atsumu had forgotten about the other two.

One managed to get a hold of him, while the other took the chance to punch him twice in the face. Atsumu fell hard to the ground again, followed by multiple kicks to his torso.

Soon enough, everything started to blur around Atsumu, and he had difficulty focusing as his body began to numb. The kicks stopped coming, and Atsumu took the chance to stand up again. He faced the armed guy.

Atsumu spat blood at his feet, and the man lunged at him. In a small moment of clarity, Atsumu had enough sense to move to the side and avoid being stabbed but still felt the cut on his side. He hissed but, using his momentum, punched the guy directly on the side of his face, knocking him out entirely.

The knife fell from his hand, and the man collapsed to the ground. Atsumu glared at the other two guys, and he must have looked scary enough because they picked their friend up and left him alone.

Atsumu took a deep breath and winced. He was able to take one step toward his backpack when his body gave out. He fell to the floor, the adrenaline leaving his system and the pain taking over. His whole body was weak, and even the tiniest movements made him want to cry out in pain.

He slowly pulled himself towards his backpack and had just enough strength to take out his phone. Atsumu tried using it, but his vision was blurry, and he was sure he couldn’t open one of his eyes properly.

Atsumu managed to get Sakusa’s number on his screen and called. He prayed for Sakusa to pick up, but the call rang and rang. Atsumu’s breath hitched when it stopped, and he thought he had answered until it went to voicemail.

Cursing faintly, Atsumu's eyes closed involuntarily as he lay on the cold ground. His mind was falling in and out of consciousness, so he took a deep breath. It hurt, but the pain helped him keep focused.

Carefully, Atsumu stood up, took his things, and started walking with what little strength he still had. He had no idea how bad he looked, but he knew it wasn’t a pretty sight. He didn’t find anyone on the streets, and he preferred that. He didn’t want to call out for anyone’s attention.

As he walked, Atsumu called Sakusa. The call went to voicemail, and he tried again and again. It kept him going as he walked to Sakusa’s house. He arrived at last and barely managed to step up to the front door. Suddenly, it was Atsumu’s phone that was ringing.

“Hey, Atsu—”

“Open the door,” Atsumu groaned out. He leaned on the doorframe, seconds away from blacking out.

Sakusa woke up groggily. He grabbed his phone to check the time. Instead, he was presented with a ton of lost calls from Atsumu. His breath hitched as he quickly called back.

“Hey, Atsu—”

“Open the door,” Atsumu muttered with a groan.

What?

Sakusa knew Atsumu didn’t sound alright, so he ran down the stairs and opened his door just in time to catch Atsumu before he collapsed.

“Atsumu?” Sakusa whispered, holding his practically limp body. He sucked in a breath when he saw Atsumu’s face. It was bloodied and swollen, and he could guess his body was the same.

“Kiyoomi…” Atsumu whispered faintly. That made Sakusa react. He carefully helped Atsumu get inside, took his backpack off, and laid him on the sofa. Upon further inspection, Sakusa saw Atsumu had a split lip, a swollen eye and cheek, and a cut on his eyebrow that still seemed to be bleeding into his eye a little bit.

“I’ll get my medical kit,” Sakusa called out, already running the stairs two at a time to get everything he needed. From Atsumu’s labored breaths, Sakusa could tell he was hurt badly in the ribs. Worst case scenario, they were broken.

Sakusa cut open Atsumu’s shirt to check the rest of his body. It was already starting to bruise, purple patches appearing all over. He was also covered in cuts, not only on his torso but also on his arms.

Thankfully, the cuts seemed superficial. The only one Sakusa worried might need stitches would be the one on his side. It wasn’t long, but it was too deep to close on its own.

“Atsumu, what happened?” Sakusa asked, putting on gloves and preparing everything from his kit.

“Atsumu.” Sakusa tried again. Atsumu only groaned in response. He needed something to keep Atsumu conscious in case he had a concussion. Sakusa took an ice bag from the fridge and cautiously put it on Atsumu’s swollen face.

Atsumu winced loudly, but he opened his eyes to look at Sakusa.

Sakusa apologized. “I need you to stay awake.”

Atsumu nodded once and tried to follow Sakusa with his eyes to keep his attention on something.

“I need you to sit up and drink this.” 

Sakusa helped Atsumu up slowly, knowing everything on his body was hurting. “It’ll help numb the pain.”

“Thank you,” Atsumu mumbled, lying down again with a hiss. “I’m sorry about this… I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sakusa answered softly. He quickly cleaned the cut on Atsumu’s eyebrow and lip. Without any blood, his eyebrow seemed better, and if it didn’t continue to bleed, it wouldn’t be necessary to stitch it. He covered it with gauze.

Sakusa took the ice off Atsumu’s swollen side to apply some numbing cream before setting it down again. All the time, Sakusa felt Atsumu’s lingering eyes trailing his face as he worked.

Apart from the cuts on the rest of his body, there wasn’t much Sakusa could do to help. He started cleaning the deep wound on Atsumu’s side. It was bleeding less, so he decided to start stitching it.

“Atsumu?”

Atsumu hummed weakly. “I’m awake.”

“I’ll have to make stitches here,” Sakusa said, making Atsumu groan. “Try not to move too much.”

Tears welled up in Atsumu’s eyes as Sakusa worked, so he tried to do it as fast as possible. Quick enough, the wound was closed with six stitches. The other cuts were easier to clean now, so he did that and covered each in gauze.

Sakusa now needed to check if Atsumu had any broken ribs. He bit his lip. There was no easy way to check for broken ribs without it hurting. It was only one spot that Sakusa needed to revise to be sure nothing was broken.

“I’m sorry,” Sakusa started, feeling softly over Atsumu’s torso. “This will hurt, but I need to check your ribs.”

“Wait, wha—motherfucker!” Atsumu cried out. The tears came this time, and Sakusa felt terrible about it, but thankfully nothing felt broken. All the bruising seemed to be superficial.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Sakusa whispered. He cleaned Atsumu’s tears tenderly and wiped his hair from his forehead. Sakusa gave him a quick peck on the forehead before he realized what he had done. Atsumu didn’t comment on it.

To finish, Sakusa applied more numbing cream over every bruise on Atsumu’s body. It wouldn’t stop them from appearing, but it would lessen the pain. He checked Atsumu’s hands now. His knuckles were bruised and cut from where the skin had torn open.

The medicines seemed to help Atsumu already because his body was more relaxed, and his breathing came more naturally. Enough time had passed to determine if Atsumu had a concussion or not.

“I’ll clean your hands now; you can rest if you like,” Sakusa said as he stood up to get a bowl of clean water and rags.

Atsumu didn’t answer, and Sakusa noticed he had fallen asleep when he returned. Sakusa sighed. He slowly cleaned the blood from Atsumu’s hands before carefully wrapping them in thin bandages.

Sakusa belatedly noticed he had been softly crying when a tear fell on Atsumu’s hand. He cleaned his face away, but they didn’t seem to stop. He covered Atsumu in a blanket before locking himself in the bathroom.

Sakusa cleaned himself. He threw away the gloves and bloodied rags before washing his hands. He cleaned Atsumu’s blood from where it had escaped the gloves, grimacing as the tears burned against his cheeks.

Why couldn’t he stop crying?

Sakusa stared at himself in the mirror as the tears flowed. He cleaned them desperately, washing his face with cold water.

He realized then just how worried he had been when he saw Atsumu all beat up at his doorstep. Sakusa had managed to keep calm enough to help him, but it was now taking its toll.

Sakusa’s chest grew heavy with ache at seeing Atsumu in so much pain. He had almost lost it when Atsumu had apologized, saying he didn’t know where else to go.

Maybe if they had talked it out before, whatever this was wouldn’t have happened. They could've avoided this if Sakusa hadn’t been so stubborn as to ignore Atsumu.

But Sakusa couldn’t beat himself over that. Atsumu was here now, he was safe, and that was all that mattered.

Sakusa washed his face again, taking a deep, steadying breath before stepping outside.

Atsumu was still asleep on the sofa, so Sakusa sat on the floor next to him, leaning his head on the handrest. He turned the tv on at a low volume to help him stay awake. Sakusa was exhausted but tried not to fall asleep in case Atsumu needed help.

Around an hour later, Atsumu groaned as he started to wake up. Sakusa turned to face him.

“Hey,” Sakusa said softly.

“Mm, hey,” Atsumu replied, focusing on him with a small smile. “Ya know, I usually wait until the third date to take my shirt off.”

Sakusa stared at him in disbelief because how could he joke so easily when he came in looking like shit and scared the hell out of him just hours ago? Sakusa’s tears came back, blurring his vision.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry,” Atsumu apologized, seeing Sakusa’s reaction.

Sakusa shook his head. “I was so worried and scared,” he whispered. Atsumu’s hand came to rest on his face, and he cleaned the tears away.

“I know. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t joke about it,” he said softly. Then more quietly, “I… I was scared too.”

Sakusa put his own hand on top of Atsumu’s and squeezed softly. “It’s okay,” he replied. “You’re okay now, but… Atsumu, what happened?”

Atsumu let his hand fall and tried to turn on his side. He hissed at the movement.

“Wait, did I get stabbed?” Atsumu asked, feeling gently over the gauze.

“Almost,” Sakusa answered. “I had to stitch you.”

“I remember that now.”

Atsumu proceeded to explain to Sakusa what happened. How three of his brother’s old friends had beaten him up without care.

“I was so scared,” Atsumu whispered, throwing his arm carefully over his eyes. “When I was left there and felt like I was going to pass out in a random alley and… I just didn’t know where to go.”

Atsumu was full-on crying now. Sakusa took his arm away, and it was his turn to clean Atsumu’s tears. 

“It’s okay, Atsumu,” Sakusa comforted softly as he combed his hair. “You’re here now. I know that must’ve been terrifying, so cry it out as much as you need, but you’re safe now.”

Atsumu let out a small sob before closing his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kiyoomi,” he let out through a shuddering breath.

“Don’t worry,” Sakusa replied immediately.

“No, I mean about before,” Atsumu continued. “About last week. I’m sorry I didn’t explain everything before. I do trust ya, and ya deserve to properly know what happened… I understand why you got mad, so I’m sorry about that and about what I said afterwards.”

Sakusa shook his head. “It’s me who has to apologize, Atsumu,” he started. “You trusted me with so much already; I wasn’t right to be angry at you, and I wasn’t right to judge you either. So, I’m sorry too, for everything I said… I hope you know I didn’t mean any of it.”

Atsumu opened his eyes again to observe Sakusa. He pursed his lips. “We’re okay now, right?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Sakusa smiled reassuringly. They stayed like that momentarily, with Sakusa gently passing his fingers through Atsumu’s curls. 

“Do you feel any pain?” Sakusa asked then.

Atsumu tried taking a deep breath and winced. “Just a little bit, but not as much as before,” he decided. “What did ya give me?”

“Some strong painkillers and numbing cream,” Sakusa explained, standing up. “You should rest in bed. Come on, I’ll help you.”

Atsumu was obviously too tired to even give Sakusa a sarcastic answer. He let Sakusa put his arm around his neck and carefully help him slowly up the stairs. They stopped midway to let Atsumu catch his breath.

“Why do you know so much about first aid?” Atsumu asked before they continued their ascend.

“My older sister studied medicine,” Sakusa explained. “I decided it wouldn’t hurt to know some stuff, so she taught me.”

They finally got to Sakusa’s room. He helped Atsumu sit down on the bed before searching for a pajama to lend him.

“Sorry about your shirt.” Sakusa threw Atsumu one of his own t-shirts along with some pants. It fit him loose enough to not bother his wounds.

“Ya seriously own pants with kitten designs on them?” Atsumu asked, holding them out before himself. “The Sakusa Kiyoomi, who always dresses up nicely for anything, has kitten pajamas.”

“I can leave you sleeping on your jeans, Atsumu,” Sakusa threatened, making Atsumu chuckle.

“What I mean is I like dogs, but even I don’t own pants with cute dogs on them,” Atsumu joked.

Sakusa stared at him. “They happened to be on discount too.”

“Yeah, sure,” Atsumu replied sarcastically.

Sakusa rolled his eyes. “Know what?” he started. “I’ll get you some with puppies on them. That way, we can match.”

Atsumu seemed to consider it. “I’ll accept that.”

Sakusa huffed at the absurdity but made a mental note to buy him the pants. Sakusa gave Atsumu clean pillows and a blanket to cover himself. He turned on a soft night light.

“If you need anything, just call my number,” Sakusa said. “I’ll come in the morning to bring you some food and painkillers.”

Atsumu only nodded as he picked anxiously at his bandaged hands. Sakusa knew there was something he wanted to say.

“You okay?”

“It’s nothin’, honestly,” Atsumu said sheepishly. “I just wondered if ya could, uh, stay?”

Atsumu blushed furiously, and he couldn’t look Sakusa in the eye. Sakusa chuckled. Seeing Atsumu act shy would always make something flutter in his chest. He nodded.

Sakusa turned off the lights, and the room was engulfed in darkness save for the small nightlight. He lay on his side, facing Atsumu. Sakusa wanted to cuddle him so badly, but he didn’t want to hurt Atsumu, so he settled for resting his hand on his chest.

Atsumu took it in his own and smiled. There was something intimate about laying in the dark next to each other, sensing where one’s body ended and the other started. Everything was silent except for their soft breathing.

“Kiyoomi?” Atsumu tried softly.

Sakusa hummed in response. “Yeah?”

“I like ya.”

Sakusa took a sharp breath as his heart skipped a bit. His whole body was on fire at the sudden, simple confession. It was the first time it was said out loud, and it made everything more real. Atsumu turned his head to face Sakusa. In the barely lit darkness, Sakusa found Atsumu’s eyes like a beacon as he observed him.

Sakusa leaned on his elbow, raising slightly over Atsumu but careful not to put any weight on him. He caressed the side of Atsumu’s face delicately.

“Would you let me kiss you?” Sakusa asked softly, echoing Atsumu’s question from that one night.

“Yes, please.”

Sakusa leaned down, eager to kiss Atsumu as if it were their first time. He savored Atsumu’s lips, careful not to hurt him and sighed contentedly. Atsumu separated first, but Sakusa didn’t stop. He tenderly kissed his cheek before trailing down to his neck.

Sakusa hovered over the skin and felt Atsumu shudder slightly. He nibbled at the soft skin before kissing it. He left a path of kisses as he made his way back to Atsumu’s lips.

Atsumu placed a hand behind Sakusa’s head and pulled him down desperately when Sakusa didn’t make a move to close the gap between them.

They kissed messily in their awkward positions in the dark until they were left breathless. Sakusa felt his heart would burst out as he laid back down, as close to Atsumu as he could.

“You should rest now,” Sakusa whispered. Atsumu frowned and was about to complain, but his features were taken over by a yawn.

“I probably should,” Atsumu whispered back. “You’ll stay, right?”

Sakusa had a feeling Atsumu wasn’t only asking about tonight.

“I’ll always stay,” Sakusa reassured, giving him a goodnight kiss.

***

A month had passed by since Sakusa and Atsumu had started dating. Last semester had been chaotic for both, and even after everything that happened, they were both sure this was what they wanted.

At the end of the semester, Atsumu had taken Sakusa back to the hill where they had their first picnic and had asked Sakusa.

Of course, Sakusa said yes, and their two lives became one.

Sakusa had then taken the next step and asked Atsumu to move in with him. He had been reluctant at first, claiming he didn’t want to crash his place, so they agreed to deal with the expenses between both.

It helped Atsumu deal with less work and have more time for them to spend together. They made everything work, and it was all perfect to this day.

Well, almost everything.

Sakusa was nervous. He tapped his feet against the ground as he stayed in front of the building, asking himself if he should do it. He shouldn’t be nosy. He should let Atsumu deal with this himself. Except Sakusa also knew his boyfriend; sometimes, he needed that extra push.

So Sakusa decided to be nosy.

Sakusa walked into the university, asking around for whom he was looking. It was easier than expected, and after barely ten minutes, he found Atsumu’s brother.

Sakusa had expected to see Atsumu’s perfect reflection on Osamu. While they did share a face, it wasn’t exactly the case. Apart from having dyed grey hair parted to the left, Sakusa could notice the more subtle differences that only came from knowing someone so well.

While they both had hooded eyes, Sakusa could tell Osamu’s dropped just a tiny bit more. He also noticed Atsumu had a warmer skin tone than Osamu and lighter natural hair color.

As Sakusa approached Osamu, he could observe even more dissimilarities. Osamu was missing the clear moles that adorned Atsumu’s skin, the barely there scar on his lip. Sakusa could even tell Osamu was just a few centimeters taller than Atsumu.

There was a time when Sakusa would’ve looked at the twins and wouldn’t have been able to distinguish them apart from their hair. Today, Sakusa would be able to tell Atsumu even with his eyes closed.

“Excuse me,” Sakusa started, “are you Miya Osamu?”

Miya and his friend turned to face Sakusa, and by the looks they both gave him, he knew he wasn’t exactly welcome.

“Maybe,” Miya’s friend answered.

Sakusa couldn’t stop himself from glaring. “I know you’re not Miya.”

“If you know, then why do you ask?” the guy continued. 

“I need to talk to you,” Sakusa said, ignoring the guy and addressing Osamu directly.

“What would ya need to talk with me?” Osamu asked. Sakusa was slightly taken aback. Even their tone of voice was almost the same, except for its intonation.

“It’s about your brother.”

Osamu’s face changed for a split second. Someone else wouldn’t realize it, but Sakusa knew that face all too well now.

“I haven’t seen him since long ago,” Osamu muttered, putting his stuff away.

“I know,” Sakusa said. “That’s why—”

“He said he hasn’t seen him,” the guy interrupted again, stepping between Sakusa and Osamu. “If you need to know anything about his brother, look out for him instead.”

Sakusa sighed. “Look, I just wanna talk with you,” he tried again. “It’ll be quick.”

“Why should I talk to a stranger about my brother?” Osamu asked, turning to face him.

“I’m not a stranger,” Sakusa replied. “I’m his boyfriend.”

This time Osamu and his friend stared at Sakusa in disbelief.

“No way you’re dating him,” the guy said. He was about to continue when Osamu stopped him.

“I’ll catch up with ya in class, Suna.”

Suna stared at Osamu for a moment before deciding to leave them alone. Osamu offered Sakusa the seat across.

“Are ya truly datin’ Atsumu?” Osamu asked. Sakusa nodded as Osamu observed him curiously. Just like Atsumu, Sakusa knew Osamu had something else to say.

“How is he?”

The question took Sakusa by surprise. He didn’t know what to expect of Osamu since everything he knew about him came from Atsumu’s perspective. He knew Atsumu didn’t hold any grudges against his brother, so Sakusa hoped Osamu would be the same.

“He’s doing good,” Sakusa answered. “He’s still studying, always visits your grandmother, and feels comfortable enough to be in a relationship.”

Osamu nodded absentmindedly to himself. “How do ya feel about him?”

“I really like Atsumu,” Sakusa said simply. “After getting to know him, I decided he was someone I wanted to spend my life next with, and I am lucky enough that he feels the same way.”

“And… is he happy?” Osamu inquired quietly.

Sakusa thought about it. About how Atsumu laughed more now and seemed more self-assured. About how the sadness that clouded his features was slowly going away.

“He’s happier now,” Sakusa answered surely, “but I think it would make him even happier if you two talked it out.”

Osamu became quiet at that, so Sakusa continued.

“Atsumu told me about everything that happened, and I can assure you he doesn’t blame you for any of it,” Sakusa said. “He’s never said it out loud, but I know how much he misses you. Every time he talks about you, this… homesickness takes over him. I am sure one of his biggest regrets is not reaching out to you again.”

Osamu stared at him and pursed his lips like Atsumu did whenever he felt unsure about something. “Then why hasn’t he come?” he asked. “If he misses me so much, why hasn’t he tried anything?”

Osamu’s voice broke towards the end, and his face showed the same sadness Atsumu tried to hide. Sakusa now knew that Osamu missed his brother just as much.

“Atsumu is scared,” Sakusa replied softly. “He still loves you so much that he’s scared you don’t.”

“I do,” Osamu said immediately, taking himself by surprise. “Even after everything that happened, I never stopped loving him...”

Sakusa smiled at him. “Then I think it’s important he knows, don’t you?” Sakusa wrote down Atsumu’s schedule and handed it to Osamu.

“Are ya sure about this?” Osamu asked, grasping the paper tightly. “It’s just… after everything, I thought he didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Sakusa nodded. “I’m sure he will be happy to see his brother again.” He stood up, ready to leave. “I hope we meet again.”

Osamu extended his hand, and Sakusa took it.

“We will,” Osamu answered.

***

The first week of the new semester was always a busy one. Since Sakusa and Atsumu studied different careers, they couldn’t share their whole schedule, but they sure shared every little free time they had.

It was Friday at last, so they had lunch together and spent time together while they waited for their last class.

“Don’t you get bored of eating fatty tuna almost every day?” Sakusa asked.

Atsumu stared at him like he was crazy. “Why would I?” he asked. “It’s like Matcha boba; ya can never get tired of its flavor.”

Sakusa chuckled. At least he knew how to satisfy Atsumu’s stomach easily.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to interrupt,” someone said from behind them. Sakusa noticed Atsumu froze in place. He took Atsumu’s hand in his, and he let out a shuddering breath before turning around.

Osamu stood behind them, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Hey, Tsumu…”

Atsumu continued to stare at his brother, and for a moment, Sakusa was scared this would go the wrong way. He stood up face to face with Osamu.

A second later, Atsumu was firmly embracing his brother in a hug. Osamu was late to react but carefully laced his arms around Atsumu.

“Samu… I missed ya,” Atsumu whispered. He separated from Osamu but held him by his shoulders. “Why are ya here?”

“Someone helped me realize how much I missed ya, too,” Osamu explained. “I had wanted to get in touch with ya before, but I-I thought ya hated me for what happened.”

“I never did, Samu,” Atsumu said, taking Osamu into a hug again. “I never hated ya, nor did I blame ya. I just had to get away from everything.”

Osamu nodded and hid his face in Atsumu’s neck. “Don’t leave again,” he whispered.

Sakusa observed the heartfelt reunion and decided to let the brothers talk it out.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Sakusa said quietly.

“Don’t worry, I need to get back to classes. I just wanted to pass by before,” Osamu said, cleaning his teary eyes as he separated from Atsumu. “I hope ya still like salty chocolate Pocky. I also wrote my current phone number on the back, in case ya wanna talk.”

Osamu bowed at Sakusa before giving Atsumu one last hug. Atsumu sat beside Sakusa again, staring at the message on the pocky box.

Atsumu stayed quiet, so Sakusa decided to talk.

“I’m sorry if I pried too much,” Sakusa started. “I also understand if you’re mad a—”

Atsumu suddenly took his face and kissed him. “How could I be mad, Omi?” he said. “Thanks to you, I’ve never been happier.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sakusa replied, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

They stayed together, with Atsumu leaning his head on Sakusa’s shoulder. At the same time, Sakusa took his hand and soothingly rubbed his thumb against it.

“I love you, Kiyoomi,” Atsumu whispered.

Sakusa’s cheeks burned. It was the first time he had heard those words directed at him.

“I love you too, Atsumu,” Sakusa whispered back.

Having Atsumu by his side, Sakusa knew he didn’t need anything else to be happy. He pulled Atsumu even closer and sighed contentedly.

Yeah, this was exactly where they were meant to be.

Fin.