Work Text:
Shining Is a Mutation: Or, Five Things That Could Have Happened When Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr Visited the Overlook Hotel (and the One Thing That Actually Did)
~~~ one ~~~
“What is it, anyway, Charles?”
“It’s a hedge maze. I’d love to explore it, but they told me we should only do it if we have a couple hours to spend getting lost.”
Erik glanced at his wrist. “It’s four o’clock already. Are you wearing your watch?”
“Yes, but do we really need separate timers?”
“Of course not. They’ll just help me fly us out in time for dinner.”
~~~ two ~~~
“Erik, did you know there was a furry convention scheduled here for this weekend?”
“What in God’s name is a furry?”
“Oh, well, some people like to dress up as animals, and...”
“And? And what?”
“And they... well, in any event, the man in the beaver suit really should keep his door closed.”
“That is the most repulsive thing I’ve ever almost heard. If you ever needed proof we were a superior species...”
“Erik, a bit of sexual deviance is hardly...”
“No, Charles. We need to put a stop to this sort of thing. I suspect it’s the mutant’s burden.”
~~~ three ~~~
“Do you realize, Charles, that every time you come in here, you break my concentration, and that it then takes me time to get back to where I was before? So from now on, if you hear me typing, or if you don’t hear me typing, if I’m in here... wait! Charles, put that down!”
Charles flipped through the typewritten pages. “Erik, I supported your idea of creating a mutant rights manifesto, but your prose style leaves much to be desired.”
~~~ four ~~~
Charles looked up from his book as the door slammed. “Erik, where have you been?”
“Out.”
“You’re white as a sheet.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“You smell of woman.”
“Oh, do I?”
“Repulsively.” The book snapped shut.
“All right, all right, before you beat me with a rolling pin, or whatever you’re thinking of doing, just answer me one question.”
“What?”
“Is rapid, reversible aging, coupled with the necrotic sloughing of skin, a known mutation?”
“No.”
“Then we might have a problem.”
~~~ five ~~~
“Stop it, Charles. You’re scaring me.”
“Charles isn’t here anymore, Mister Lensherr.”
“Your name is Charles, ‘Otengam’ isn’t a word, and... you’re writing in lipstick? Where the Hell did you get lipstick?”
“Charles knows everything you keep in your suitcase, Mister Lensherr.”
~~~ and one ~~~
“Charles? Charles, come on. Check-in’s through here.”
The telepath stood absolutely still on the threshold for another ten seconds before turning on his heel. “No. We’re leaving.”
“What?”
“Erik, we’re leaving.” Charles got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. “Get in.”
“Charles, we’ve been in the car for four hours.”
“I’ll explain later.”
“...You owe me.” Erik buckled up, with an exaggerated sigh.
“Thank you. Sometimes the scenery isn’t worth the elevator.”
~~~ fin ~~~