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Naegi staggers back into his room on weak legs. He wants to throw up, he wants to scream, he wants to lie down and cry, but he can't even do that. He's too tired, too empty.
Leon's execution plays behind his eyelids anytime he closes his eyes, and when he closes the door behind himself and opens his mouth to scream, Naegi can only get out labored breaths and silence.
His room is startlingly clean, no sign of the fight that happened there just hours before. He uses the wall for support and limps to the bathroom, quickly opening the door and bending over the toilet to throw up anything that still remains in his stomach.
He thinks of Leon hanging from the pole, his body limp and bloody. He thinks of Sayaka, of the knife that was stuck inside of her, and Naegi's stomach turns again with nausea and despair mixing deep inside of him.
He heaves himself up and limps to the shower, stepping inside. It has been cleaned as well, and Naegi finally, finally finds that he can sob, that there are tears filling his eyes as he drops to his knees and scratches at his throat, at the wall, at his clothes, breaking under his sadness.
Naegi stays like that for a while, crying and shaking, until he's finally able to breathe. When he opens his eyes, he notices something. It's just tiny, small enough that it's no wonder Monokuma didn't notice, but there's a fleck of blood left on the shower wall.
Naegi traces it with his finger. It's dry, but his fingers are damp from tears, and it smears on the wall and leaves a red line on his fingertip, and this is it, isn't it? All that's left of Sayaka is this little fleck of blood.
“Maizono,” Naegi whispers once, and then again and again, and then he shoves his bloodied finger into his mouth, licking it clean.
It feels wrong, but it's like Sayaka is there with him. Like she's forever a part of him. Like nothing will take her from him anymore.
He licks all the blood from the wall too.
The world seems a little less hopeless after that. The shock is still there, but the crushing despair has lifted. It's not like Sayaka is gone after all, right? She's there. Right there.
None of Naegi's hopeful dreams prepare him for the shock of seeing Chihiro dead, her arms outstretched in a mockery of crucification and blood dripping through her hair.
It feels like déjà vu, the adrenaline spreading through his veins, the bits and pieces of memories of Chihiro's smiles and shyness flashing through his mind.
She's gone.
She's gone like Leon, she's gone like Sayaka, except not because he has Sayaka with him doesn't he? He's carrying her inside, her soul curled lightly under his heart cheering him on like the great sidekick she is.
He could save Chihiro too, Naegi thinks while he's investigating her body. He could take her with him. While her blood is slowly dripping onto his hands, all he can feel is relief.
After he's done examining the body and the scene of crime, Naegi finds a secluded corner and slowly licks the blood from his palms. Dragging his tongue from his wrist to the gaps between his fingers, then moving through the knuckles all the way down to his fingertips.
“Chihiro will stay,” he repeats in his mind, focused on the task, on getting as much of Chihiro as he can inside.
But it's not enough. The little blood Naegi has managed to get is not enough, when all of Chihiro is hanging in the changing room, when he can't take everything.
Kyouko finds him before he can go back and gather some more and reminds him that investigation has priority over whatever he's doing.
Naegi wants to argue, because no, saving Chihiro has priority over some stupid investigation, but he knows that if he dies he won't be able to save anyone. He shakily smiles at Kyouko and reassures her that he knows, he just needed a little time for himself, he's going to continue investigation now, and she doesn't seem to suspect anything.
After the trial Naegi regrets not taking more of Chihiro. Screw the investigation, screw preserving the corpse, Chihiro didn't deserve any of this. He knows the corpse will already be gone when they'll return, so he'll have to do with the little blood he managed to get. He can already feel Chihiro insode though, his gentle smile cheering up Sayaka. He's there. Right there.
He manages to sneak off with the butter that was left after Oowada's execution and eats it in his room, not able to look the others in the eye. It doesn't feel the same, but if he can save Oowada too, it's worth it.
Naegi dreams of Leon, his face deformed after hundreds of balls slammed into it, snarling “Why didn't you save me too” over and over.
Naegi doesn't feel so empty at the third murder. It doesn't matter. They'll be fine. He'll save them all, he knows as he carefully drinks Yamada's blood, trying not to get noticed.
He stays behind after a little after they're summoned to the courtroom and he manages to bite off a chunk of Ishimaru's finger. It took longer than he thought, so that little piece is all he can get, but it's so worth it, knowing that he can take a little more of Ishimaru with him. He basks in the feeling as he runs down to the courtroom, chewing. Ishimaru and Yamada are there. Right there.
He can't get even a piece of Celes, no matter how long he digs through the ashes. No one else understands. They think he's grieving but no, no that's not it. He's doing his best.
“I'm trying to save her!” he screams when Kyouko drags him away and ignores the troubled stares of everyone around.
Someone always interferes when Naegi tries to save even a bit of Sakura. He's so frustrated he wants to scream, to kick them all out and then gnaw on Sakura's arm until he can feel the muscle giving way, but he knows he can't do that and he makes do with small licks of blood stolen while no one's looking.
It must be enough, because he can feel her inside, joining the others in the safe haven Naegi created for them. She's there. Right there.
It's on the fifth floor and Naegi literally cries when he gets inside.
Tears spring from his eyes when he finally understands just what is it that's inside the freezer cells, the bodies of his classmates preserved perfectly.
No one has to be left behind.
He can save them all.
Leon's there, Celes is there, Naegi checks and checks, relief washing over him. Oowada's there, and of course, of course he hasn't turned into butter how could Naegi be so naive, but it doesn't matter. He can save him too.
The bodies are frozen, and it'd be impossible to get to work immediately, but Naegi feels like he has all the time in the world now that he knows where they are.
Naegi takes them one by one, carefully cutting off slices of flesh and skin. He has to avoid getting found out, because they just wouldn't understand. The meat is baked, cooked, fried, prepared in any way Naegi can manage, and he makes meals for everyone who's still alive. After all, he wouldn't be able to save everyone by himself, but like this? Everyone can help!
The end comes too soon for Naegi's liking. There's still bits and pieces left, chunks of flesh on skeletons picked almost clean, but he has managed to get the best parts, and it has to be enough. He can feel them all, his classmates chatting and laughing inside of himself, while he's carrying their legacy. Even Junko, the real one is there, smiling slightly after he scraped a bit of her blood from the machine that ended her life.
When they're all standing in front of the door separating them from the outside world, trading encouragement words, Asahina sighs.
“I wish we could be here with all the others too,”
Naegi turns around, the light coming through the opening doors illuminating him from behind and making shadows dance over his face and smiles.
“What are you talking about? They're here. Right here.”