Chapter Text
The constant noise and chatter of people speaking behind Akutagawa’s back left him feeling exhausted and worn out. It is exasperating. Whenever he needed to escape, he would seek refuge in the library. He would visit that place daily, regardless of the presence of homework, to find a peaceful place to be. While he accepts responsibility for his actions in high school, he stands by his choices without remorse. He understands others may judge him, but he remains committed to his values.
Fuck everyone. They didn’t matter to him at all.
He could finish the degree course without talking to his classmates, ha! Besides, he had two “acquaintances.” He didn’t know whether to classify them as friends, but they got along well and talked every day, which was the important thing.
Akutagawa sat at his usual table, engrossed in reading summaries for his upcoming exam. Passing it was his only choice.
The library was full, but despite his aversion to people, he focused on taking notes.
He had a dominant passion for his degree course. Studying literature always was the best option for him, and he knew it. His love for this degree course never wavered. But it often results in sleepless nights and tears from stress. There was a sense of personal satisfaction in achieving excellent results. The process could be daunting, but it is worth it.
Akutagawa sat at his usual table, engrossed in reading summaries for his upcoming exam. Yet his aversion to people, he focused on taking notes and adding memory aids to his books.
His shoulders slumped as he sighed.
And despite the library being overcrowded, he was certain that no one would want to sit next to him because of the rumours about his past. Those rumours almost caused him to lose his spot in college. But, with the help of his tutor Ryūrō Hirotsu, he could overcome it. That’s why he studies with sweat and tears. Losing the scholarship was not an option for him, nor was being belittled and shown no mercy.
“Hi, sorry for bothering you. Can I sit here?”
He heard a murmur close by and blinked, feeling confused. Was someone speaking to him? He narrowed his eyes to focus on that person. He was always ready to say no, but he didn’t even know who he was talking to.
And… he wanted to die when he realized who the person was.
Nakahara Chuuya.
Nakahara Chuuya was standing beside him, asking if he could sit with him. He wanted to pinch himself.
He wasn’t panicking, of course not! But the fact that his high school crush was talking to him was overwhelming.
Their gazes intertwined, and the captivating blue hue of the other person’s eyes seemed to penetrate his soul, leaving him breathless. He cleared his throat, feeling a burning sensation, and then nodded in acknowledgment before relocating his backpack to another seat.
“Thank you” he said and take a seat in front of him.
He remained silent and motionless for a brief moment, observing his partner as they arranged his notebook, books, pencils, and markers on the table.
Akutagawa decided to do the same, to refocus on his textbook. Yet he couldn’t do it. Why did Chuuya have to sit with him? Don’t get him wrong, he knew the library was about to blow up because final exams were coming up. But... Next to him? How unfortunate he was. He was hoping that no one would talk about it.
Since high school, he has always found Chuuya to be cute. It was unfortunate that someone like him, who felt inferior, would think of someone as stunning as Nakahara. Chuuya was a person who radiated confidence and charisma. But despite his own feelings, he couldn’t resist Chuuya’s charm. His blue eyes, hair like fire, and captivating smile left him powerless. As expected, Nakahara didn’t know anything about his feelings. He would kill himself if anyone knew. It is something that he has kept under a thousand keys and that will never come to light.
It may seem silly, but he developed feelings for Chuuya during gym class. When a ball was about to hit him in the face, Chuuya stopped it and smiled at him.
“That was a close one, wasn’t it?” he said with a bright smile before returning to the field.
He found himself thinking about a memory that seemed insignificant, yet it stayed with him vividly. He felt silly for dwelling on it, especially since the person with bright orange hair wouldn’t remember it. Yet, there were many other reasons why he had developed feelings for Nakahara. Nakahara was kind to everyone, always smiling and willing to lend a hand. Despite having a good financial standing, he never boasted about it. Chuuya was not only popular but also excelled in physical education and all school subjects.
He tried to push the memories away because he was beginning to feel even more pathetic than usual. So, he took a deep breath.
As he glanced down at his own notes, he noticed that Chuuya was completely absorbed in his own work. He was underlining, crossing out, and jotting down short words while furrowing his brow and fidgeting with his pencil. It was clear that Chuuya was concentrating on improving his notes. It was clear that Nakahara was well-known for his exceptional academic performance.
“Damn it.” He muttered to himself. This time, he chose to isolate himself from the world and his past love.
He realized that aced his exam was more important than getting lost in thoughts of him. He started highlighting the pages and rewriting the details in his own summary. This was an effective way for him to study
He was deeply absorbed in reading his summaries and the pages of the books, completely unaware of how quickly time was passing. When he looked up, he noticed that the library was starting to empty and that even Chuuya was picking his things up to go.
“…Hum… Do you have an exam soon?”
Ryuunosuke blinked, puzzled.
“Yeah,” he answered, feeling ashamed. The words didn’t come out smoothly from his lips.
Chuuya displayed a knowing grin.
“Okay, good luck with that! And thank you very much for letting me sit here. You’ll be the savior of my grades” he said, winking at him. He took his backpack, and Akutagawa was sure that wink would make him blush.
Chuuya waved at him once he was close to the door, closing it behind him. And, the young man with black hair, returned the greeting as he could, always keeping his countenance neutral.
When Nakahara left, he felt like he could breathe again. He felt foolish, even though he had barely spoken or made any gestures. He finally relaxed his tense shoulders that had been rigid the entire time. This had been his first meeting with the sapphire-eyed youth, and he hoped, for his own good, that it would be the last.