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Chihiro looked up. Celeste was significantly taller than her, after all. Dark hair that was textured and curled at its ends. Faded crimson and black eyeshadow to match her pointed fake nails. Faux fangs. Red contacts and lacy headbands. Fuck she was pretty. Chihiro's hands wobbled a little as she folded them into herself, her scratched white nail polish looking a little silly in comparison.
"um.. Celestia?" her voice only trembled slightly, edged with that usual nervousness. She brushed a little bit of her bangs from her eyes.
The taller girl looked down with a simple, well-practiced smile. "oh? please, call me celeste." her voice was smooth and dainty. It was hard to tell if she was faking the accent, due to the fact that she was, well, skilled at keeping facades. Queen of liars, after all.
"umm… right.. Sorry.." she looked away with slight embarrassment. In her eyes, she'd already ruined the social interaction, but she was too far in to back out now.
"i.. Uh. You're really pretty.. I mean! Um. Clothes. Wise. And stuff. Like you dress pretty. I.. Really like.. Your style.. Um.. Sorry.." she looked away, mortifyingly embarrassed at the slip of her own words. "like.. Um.. The whole lolita thing.. I would dress like you if I had the confidence.." she was mentally beating herself for being such an ugly mix of forwards and awkward. Ugh.
Celeste didn't seem to be nearly as bothered by it as Chihiro would think. She seemed almost.. Endeared? Maybe amused was a better way to describe it. She pressed a ringed hand to her mouth to politely cover a delicate laugh.
"is that so? Well, you're very petite, yes? You like cute things?" a finger reached to play with the ribbon between the fabric of Chihiro's collar. She could practically feel herself flushing.
"I think you'd look very nice, Chihiro. You seem to already have an eye for cute fashion. Just look at your petticoat! I know that isn't cheap, hmm..?"
"u-um.. Yeah.. My dad.. He makes a decent amount.. Um.. I mean, me too… I bought this with my own money…" Chihiro felt kind of.. Bad. Her hands gripped the hem of her skirt.
"no shame in that. You work very hard, yes? You're a smart girl, Chihiro. Exactly why we have to be so cautious, after all…" crimson contacts eyed her down. She felt the nervousness just build up in her gut.
"r-right.. Sorry for bothering you…" of course. It was a killing game after all. Why would she trust her? How could she trust her? It was probably really stupid of her to bother such a strategic and reserved woman for something as silly as fashion.
Noticing the shorter girl seem so embarrassed, she chuckled with light amusement. "now now, don't take that as an insult.. I don't give compliments lightly, you know? All I'm saying is that you're very capable… who knows how capable.."
Her heart pounded in her chest. False nails clicked together a little as they played with the longer side strips of Chihiro's hair. Holy shit.
"Oh, I'm only teasing you a little. I do think you're a very intelligent woman. If you weren't.. Well, you wouldn't be here, would you? I'm excited to see what you contribute.."
Chihiro's strawberry glossed lips parted to let out a shaky exhale. She could hear her heartbeat in her skull. Everything about the girl in front of her was making her stomach twist with some sort of feeling.
"th… t-thank you.."
what could you say to that? What could she possibly say.
She felt like she was lying. Lying through her teeth. As if the circumstances of her birth created a barrier between herself and.. Everyone. It was a sick sort of isolating experience that she couldn't quite name. she never got along with boys. Even when she was one. Was she one? She didn't want to be. She didn't want to be one at all. But sometimes she felt she had to. She had to want that. She had to want to leave everything she liked behind to pursuit an ideal. A stronger version of herself. One that would be impossible to hurt. One that was impossible to blackmail. One that fit in.
she gripped her hem of her skirt. She liked looking like this. She liked when people regarded her as just the same as any other girl. It felt safe. It felt like this was the way she was meant to be. But honestly. It hurt. It still hurt. She wished she wasn’t different. She wished she didn't feel like she was hiding something. She wished she didn't carry all this burning self-hatred. Fuck it.
She couldn't tell if she liked the way celeste looked at her. Amused. She wouldn't know that the other girl thought her shyness was endearing. She just felt like a mess. She felt like every single person alive would dislike her at default. That if she slipped up they'd hurt her. They'd hurt her. They'd hurt her. She felt herself getting nauseous with worry again. Why did this always happen. Why did this always fucking happen.
She felt a cold, soft hands press against her cheek. She flinched. Why would she do that. Why was she so stupid. Why couldn't she just be normal. Why couldn't she just be goddamn normal.
Celeste's expression was shielded. but had somewhat softened. She didn't seem offended that Chihiro had flinched. Why.. Why would she be so passive..? Wasn't she supposed to be mad..? Everyone else in the past had. She couldn't wrap her hand around it. She looked like a deer in the headlights. Wide eyes and a certain frantic vacantness. Brown mascara and slightly smudged lipgloss.
"I didn't mean to upset you dear. You don't seem like the type I should be teasing.." she pulled her hand back. Her voice still kept the same inflexion. Well-rehearsed and velvety.
"stay alive, won't you? It'd be such a shame to lose someone so valuable.. There are no other ultimate programmers, are there, no? Caution is good when you know what to do with it.. But fear will never help you in the ways you want it too.."
She seemed.. Genuine. Despite the fake that she almost dripped in artificial fronts and performance, even down to the tips of her nails and the hue of her irises. Her lips turned upwards into a soft, black glossed smiled. Even through the thin layer of the contacts… she seemed to understand more than she'd ever say.
Maybe they were more similar than they'd of thought.