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And for a moment, Oikawa forgets that this isn't forever, and that the laughter in his chest isn't going to last, and that Hinata's smile isn't meant for him. He forgets, and enjoys the moment, but when it passes, he's left standing on the sidewalk staring down an empty road, wondering how he lost it all.
----
There were a lot of things Oikawa didn't say. For instance- when he politely turned down the confession of a sweet second year girl, he didn't tell her that by "not interested", he was referring to women in general. He didn't tell iwaizumi he had stayed up all night watching replays, even though Iwa-chan figured it out and gave him a swift kick for "dicking around instead of sleeping". And he definitely didn't tell Hinata Shouyou that, when they bumped into each other on the street, that he was the cutest fucking thing in the whole world.
Even with icecream slopped down his front.
"Ahhh! Shit!!!" Hinata grumbled, before snapping up to see who had ran into him, looking ready to fight until he recognized Oikawa.
"Grand King! You-!" he stopped, pointing.
"Yes, it's me." Oikawa said, without thinking, and he was glad Iwa-chan wasn't here to headbutt him for that. "Sorry for running into you, Shrimpy."
"Oh, that's okay- hey." Hinata said, his smile dropping once he realized the nickname he had been given, but Oikawa was already talking.
"I'll buy you another icecream, alright? It's only fair...is there a parlor around here?"
"You don't have to buy me anything! It's okay!"
"No, no, I insist! I'm not a sore loser, Chibi-chan~"
(He fucking was. but again, he didn't say it.)
And so Oikawa wound up in an icecream parlor, sitting on a barstool next to Hinata and smiling as he watched Hinata swing his legs, too short to reach the ground. His face was red, too, and he stared at the countertop intently, though if Oikawa timed it right, he could catch Hinata glancing at him.
"Two sundaes, please." Oikawa said, winking at the girl behind the counter. She giggled and blushed and got to their orders real quick, even though they weren't the first in line, and Hinata watched this whole scenario with wide eyes.
"People sure are nice to you, Oikawa-san." Hinata thought aloud, and Oikawa smiled as he passed Hinata his icecream.
"Don't I deserve it, though?" Hinata smiled at him like he believed truly that, and Oikawa...well. He wasn't prepared for that kind of sincerity. Especially when he had been joking.
"Your face went all red!"
"I...I got a brain freeze."
"That's not how a brain freeze works, Oikawa-san!"
----
Just tell him. Hinata walking down the street with Natsu on his shoulders, giggling up a storm and not minding at all when Oikawa brushed him as they headed to the park.
Say something. Picking Hinata up from school and watching him blush as he came out to meet Oikawa, as Karasuno hooted and hollered behind him.
Out of all the things you keep hidden, don't let this be one of them. He knew better. He knew better, and yet, whenever Hinata looked at him, waiting, wanting, Oikawa stayed quiet, or offered a plastic smile in return for Hinata's honest ones, and then they'd go back to talking normally and spending their time together as unlikely friends, both a little disappointed, both a little discouraged.
The truth was, Oikawa liked Hinata, and he was sure Hinata liked him too, but it'd been almost two months that they'd been doing this, and still neither of them had said anything. So here they were, once again, sitting side by side but not quiet close enough, watching a shitty alien movie that not even Oikawa was interested in.
Someone on screen suddenly got their head ripped off, and Oikawa wasn't sure if it was supposed to be sudden or if he had zoned out on the foreshadowing, but Hinata fucking screamed, jumping a foot in the air and falling off the couch onto the floor.
"Are- are you okay?" Oikawa said quietly, shocked.
"Fucking aliens." Hinata hissed.
And then Oikawa laughed, hard.
He didn't mean to, and usually he wouldn't, because when he actually laughed Iwaizumi told him he sounded annoying. He had practiced the perfect laugh, one that was light and airy and attractive, but for some reason Hinata landing flat on his face was just hilarious, and he was howling over it.
"Oh sure, laugh at my pain, okay, thanks." Hinata grumbled as he picked himself up, but when he plopped back down on the couch, watching Oikawa have a fit, he smiled, warm and wonderful and inviting, and if Oikawa was brave he would have told Hinata how much he liked the smile.
"You...you're cute when you laugh." Hinata said, his eyes blowing wide when he realized what had just come out of his mouth. Oikawa felt himself flush, and a few seconds of silence passed.
Say something say something say something.
Oikawa swallowed. His mind was blank. His throat was dry.
Fuck words. He bent down and kissed Hinata.
"Oh," Hinata gasped, when they broke a part a second later from a kiss that could only be considered chaste, but still Oikawa's heart thrummed nervously, as everything possible thing that could go wrong raced around his head-
"Do that again." Hinata breathed, and all of Oikawa's thoughts came screeching to a halt.
"But...do it harder."
Oikawa had always been a people pleaser.
----
Panting against freckled skin, breathing in Hinata's scent only to have his breath hitch in his throat when hesitant fingers trailed down his abdomen.
Quiet Can I's? were the only words Oikawa could think to say, but words couldn't replace all the things he said with gentle touches and wet lips around dripping, shuddering skin. Hinata's moans were all that he needed in reply.
Tension building, rising, burning, and suddenly all those things he never said came spilling out of his mouth in broken sentences, release and pleasure sweeping through his body and leaving him weak, paper thin, delicate against Hinata's side.
Panting against freckled skin dotted with slow blooming bruises and fresh bites, Oikawa fell asleep with his arm over Hinata's chest, and he thought to himself, Let me stay here forever.
----
"Why won't you just tell me what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!"
"Something's wrong, or you wouldn't be like this!" Hinata's voice was strained, like he was about to cry, and Oikawa wanted to hold him, but that wouldn't work, now. Hinata wanted words, not fluttering kisses, not long nights tangled in Oikawa's sheets, not hands held, not any of the things Oikawa could give, would give, if only he'd accept.
"You...you wouldn't understand, Hinata." he said quietly, but Hinata wouldn't have it.
"You know, sometimes I think you don't want me to understand. You like being miserable." he scoffed, picking up his bag and starting to leaving the gym, and Oikawa watched him from where he sat on the floor, cradling his knee, which fucking hurt, but he couldn't tell Hinata that. He'd only worry, or worse, pity him, so why did he want to know? Why did he want to see Oikawa when he was weak?
"When you want to talk, call me. I'll be at Kageyama's." Hinata huffed, before closing the door. Oikawa frowned. Tobio-chan. Hinata had been seeing a lot of him these days, hadn't he? He said it was for practice, what with their match with Shiratorizawa approaching, but...
Love me instead. That's what Oikawa wanted to say.
But he didn't.
----
He didn't call Hinata after that. He figured it was over. He just couldn't allow himself to be weak, and Oikawa had learned, when he pressed his lips against Hinata's, that love was nothing but weakness.
----
"Match point." he breathed, his heart pounding even though he was seated, his hands sweaty even though he wasn't the one spinning a volleyball between his fingertips, his body aching even though he wasn't on the court. But Oikawa didn't have time to feel sorry for himself, not when Hinata charged towards the net, leaping into the air with all his might, flying. Kageyama tossed to him just as Hinata reached his highest point, and before Shiratorizawa's blockers could even blink, the volleyball was slamming down on their side of the net, and the building exploded. Oikawa screamed louder than anyone, and he meant to cheer for Karasuno, but all that came out was "Shouyou!"
The stamping of feet and the shouting and the whistles all came together as some sort of symphony that was off beat and wild and intoxicating, and before he knew what he was doing Oikawa was flying down the steps towards the court, mouth hurting from how wide he was smiling, throat raw from cheering, eyes stinging with tears that were both bitter and so, so happy, because his Hinata was standing in the middle of the court, staring up at the ceiling as if he was watching all the walls in front of him crumble down, and he was yelling and crying and brighter than Oikawa had ever seen.
And that's when he knew he couldn't stay quiet anymore. He had to say it. I love you, Hinata.
"We did it!" Karasuno was shouting, almost in disbelief, and in the chaos no one noticed Oikawa as his feet hit the polished wood floor and carried him towards that dazzling light that must have been Hinata.
They were all so happy, so thrilled, that no one noticed him, least of all Kageyama, who came running down the court and tackled Hinata out of his daze.
No one noticed Oikawa, when they all let out loud whoops whistles as Hinata threw his arms around Kageyama and kissed him for all he was worth, throwing Kageyama off balance and sending him crashing to the floor.
Oikawa felt like he was falling, too. He came to a stop, blood rushing in his ears and drowning out the celebration. Suddenly, the sweltering room felt cold, and happy tears froze on his cheeks, and slowly, quietly, he stepped off the court, watching that brilliant light fade as he left Hinata behind.
----
"Oikawa, wait!"
No, no, no. He couldn't do this. He couldn't say anything when it counted, but especially when it came to goodbyes.
And yet he couldn't help himself, when Hinata came bounding up to him from across the street, embracing him and laughing and spinning around with Oikawa in his arms, making them both teeter around in what looked like a drunken dance.
"Congratulations, Shouyou." Oikawa smiled, but that flicker of hope died in his chest when Hinata cleared his throat and stepped back, a faint blush on his cheeks.
"Thanks, Oikawa-san." he said formally. Don't call me Shouyou, Oikawa heard.
Kageyama was on the other side of the street, waiting.
"Well, I'll see you-"
"Sho- Hinata, wait. Please. Don't...lets go somewhere. I'll- I'll get you icecream."
He laughed, out of pity. Oikawa swallowed. Please don't pity me. But how could he expect anything else? He had nothing to offer Hinata. Kageyama had it all- Oikawa couldn't even say "I love you."
"Oikawa, Kageyama and I, we're- "
"I don't care. Please. Let me take you home."
"Tooru."
And that was the end. Hinata smiled, for real, this time. Oikawa smiled back, but it was broken.
"Then...at least let me be honest with you, Hinata. Let me say what I should have said." he begged, and Hinata paused, before nodding.
"I love you, Hinata."
Hinata took a shuddering breath. "I know. I just...wish you'd said it sooner."
Kageyama was looking impatient, so Hinata was quick when he pulled down OIkawa for a kiss, one last time. He smiled, laughed, and Oikawa let himself forget all his heartache for a moment. But then Hinata was gone, and Kageyama was with him, and OIkawa stood on that empty street and cried.
There were a lot of things Oikawa didn't say. From then on, how much he loved Hinata Shouyou was one of them.