Archive of Our Own

“Ms. Han! This way!”

“Here, Ms. Han! Look here!”

“Ms. Han!”

“Ms. Han!”

Yoohyeon’s head is starting to throb from all the yelling. She’s getting irritated as well. Other photographers jostle for a better angle, a better view, and they bump their shoulders against Yoohyeon’s, trying to get her to move.

She holds firm in her spot by the ropes, only stumbling slightly when someone bumps into her back. She grits her teeth, shooting a glare over her shoulder before focusing again, fingers fiddling with the settings on her camera.

This is the worst part of her job, really. Having to deal with all the other photographers and the journalists all vying for a spot near the front, where the angle and the lighting are best. She hates it but lives for the way her pictures turn out once she’s snapped them.

“Ms. Han!”

The model turns, a forced smile curling the corners of her mouth.

Yoohyeon doesn’t lift her camera right away, captivated by the way Handong’s eyes widen slightly at the sight of her before the model relaxes, and her forced smile turns into an easy grin, something small and secretive.

“Ms. Han! Look here!”

Yoohyeon lifts her camera, looking through the viewfinder and quickly getting a few snaps before Handong turns to face the photographer who had to yell to get her attention.

She hates red-carpet events. Too many eager photographers and journalists who bump and shove to get better shots. She prefers studio shoots. Where it’s just her, a small crew, and the subject.

“Ms. Han!”

Handong casts a glance over her shoulder as she moves down the carpet, a coy smile on her lips as she lifts a hand to wave goodbye.

Yoohyeon lifts the camera, snapping several photos. She’s sure in several of them, Handong is looking right at the lens, but that’s ok. She doesn’t mind. She isn’t there to critique. She’s just there to capture.

“Ms. Kim!” A cry starts up as another model strides onto the carpet.

Yoohyeon glances over, seeing Kim Minji smiling and waving to everyone. The smile looks real, but Yoohyeon knows better. Kim Minji hates red-carpet events just as much as Yoohyeon, maybe even more. But the model is damn good at making everyone think she wants to be there.

Yoohyeon gets a few snaps of Minji as she strides past, but her interest has waned considerably. She’ll stay a while longer, getting snaps of the other models and celebrities who grace the carpet, and then she’ll go. She’s no longer interested in being so close, however, so she steps back, letting others spill into the space where she’d been.

Once everyone has arrived and walked the carpet, Yoohyeon turns and makes her way through the throng of photojournalists and videographers. She pushes her way through, clutching her camera tightly to ensure it doesn’t get damaged by any stray elbows. She fiddles with the lens cap before she digs into her pocket for her car keys.

The drive home is quiet, save for the radio playing on low volume. Her camera is nestled snugly in its bag on the passenger seat, and Yoohyeon taps her fingers nervously against the leather of the steering wheel. She hopes the event doesn’t drag on too long, but she knows she’ll have plenty to distract her if it does.

Once home, she connects the camera to her computer, bringing up the photos she’d taken that evening. The ones of Kim Minji and the other models and celebrities get sorted into a folder, and Yoohyeon doesn’t think of them again.

Yoohyeon takes her time with the ones of Handong, picking out the best ones and shifting closer to the screen to critique her work. A few are blurry around the edges, with the camera tilted at an odd angle. Probably from someone bumping her when she was pressing the shutter button.

Thankfully, most of them are perfect or near perfect. She’d captured the small, secretive smile on Handong’s face, her eyes half-lidded as she looked into the camera lens. Handong’s winking in one photo, blowing a kiss to the crowd. In another, Handong is half-turned toward another camera, but staring at Yoohyeon’s, smirking.

Yoohyeon sits back in her chair and undoes the top button of her shirt, feeling a little warm. She shakes her head, laughing softly to herself. She clicks through the photos again, leaning closer to critique once more.

Often, when reviewing her photos, she finds herself wishing she could keep them to herself. Wishing she didn’t have to send them away to be edited and photoshopped and plastered on pages of a magazine. They don’t need editing. They don’t need photoshop. The model is perfect. At least in Yoohyeon’s eyes.

Keys jingle, and a lock clicks, a door creaking softly down the hall.

Yoohyeon blinks, squinting in the bright light of the computer screen. How late is it? She doesn’t know. Her neck and shoulders hurt from being hunched over the keyboard for so long. She sits back, shutting her eyes and rubbing the back of her neck as footsteps enter the room.

“Oh, that’s a good shot,” A deep voice purrs as the footsteps grow closer to the chair Yoohyeon is sitting in.

Yoohyeon just hums in response, letting out a sigh as warm arms drape over her shoulders and hands start to toy with the buttons on her shirt. “Too bad it’ll be edited to hell and back before it goes to print,” She grumbles softly.

A soft hum comes from behind her. “Such is life,” The voice says softly. “You want to get a few shots with the film camera before I change?”

“Are you alright with that?” Yoohyeon asks, finally opening her eyes as she tips her head backward to see Handong standing over her.

Handong hums softly, bringing one of her hands up to run her fingers teasingly over the column of Yoohyeon’s neck. “Would I be asking if I wasn’t?” She asks, her tone teasing and soft.

Yoohyeon hums, shutting her eyes again when Handong moves her hands to cradle Yoohyeon’s face, fingers lacing together underneath her chin. “I guess not,” She murmurs, strands of hair tickling her face as Handong leans over and presses a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

“C’mon then,” Handong says, straightening up. “Get your camera.”

Yoohyeon hums and sits up, saving the pictures to a folder before shutting down the computer. She stands, making sure to turn the monitors off before she follows Handong through the house. On the way, she collects her film camera from the cabinet housing her other cameras and supplies. She grabs another roll of film just in case, as well as a few opaque plastic film canisters.

Handong leads her into the studio. It used to be a guest room, but when Yoohyeon moved in, the model insisted on redoing it so Yoohyeon could have a space for her work. Another room in the house had been converted into a darkroom, despite Yoohyeon telling Handong she didn’t need to.

Yoohyeon fiddles with the camera, pulling off the lens cap and stuffing it into her pocket for safekeeping. She’s so focused on the camera and getting it set to the right shutter speed and aperture that she doesn’t notice Handong until the woman is reaching out to cup her face.

“Hey,” Handong whispers, thumbs brushing over Yoohyeon’s cheeks as she breathes out a soft laugh.

Yoohyeon blinks and lifts her eyes to Handong’s, seeing the softness in them. “Hey,” She whispers back, shifting slightly to set her camera down on a table. She moves her hands to Handong’s hips, squeezing gently before she smooths out the fabric of the dress Handong has on.

“Long night?” Handong asks, her voice soft and soothing.

Yoohyeon just hums softly, shutting her eyes with a sigh. “Not as long as yours was,” She answers, her words coming out muffled as Handong squishes her cheeks.

“I wasn’t the one standing in a giant crowd of other photographers, you know,” Handong teases lightly. “How many elbows did you catch?”

“At least four,” Yoohyeon grumbles. She feels Handong’s hands leave her face to slide down over her shirt. “They don’t hurt anymore,” She adds, shivering when Handong untucks her shirt from her slacks and slides warm hands under the material.

“No?” Handong questions, fingers splaying wide over Yoohyeon’s ribs. “So, I don’t have to kiss them better?”

Yoohyeon lets out a laugh and opens her eyes, seeing the smile on Handong’s lips. “You can if you want to, I suppose,” She answers, biting back a smile.

Handong hums softly, her fingers tickling Yoohyeon’s sides. “Later,” She murmurs, taking a step closer. “I’d rather not get this dress dirty.”

Yoohyeon hums in response, shutting her eyes and accepting the kiss that Handong presses softly to her lips. She kisses back gently, biting back a whine when Handong pulls away.

“Mind if I take my heels off? My feet are killing me,” Handong says, pulling her hands from Yoohyeon’s sides. She sets one hand on Yoohyeon’s shoulder, reaching back with the other as she lifts her left leg.

“Go for it,” Yoohyeon says, keeping herself steady as Handong uses her for balance as she undoes the straps of her heel and pulls it off her foot. She laughs when the model tosses the shoe across the room with a soft grunt, reaching out to steady Handong when she lifts her other leg.

“Oh, that’s so much better,” Handong breathes as both her heels touch the floor. She sighs heavily and leans forward, pressing another soft kiss to Yoohyeon’s lips, pulling away before Yoohyeon can kiss back. “How do you want me?”

“However you want me to want you,” Yoohyeon responds, her tone teasing and light. She grins as Handong rolls her eyes and stalks across the room to position herself in front of the white backdrop. She picks up her camera and fiddles with the settings one last time before looking back at Handong.

“Relax,” Yoohyeon breathes with a laugh. “No one is going to see these.”

“You are,” Handong counters softly, relaxing her shoulders and letting out a breath. “I want to look good for you.”

Yoohyeon blinks at the soft confession and lowers the camera, seeing the almost shy look on Handong’s face. She lifts the camera again, adjusting the focus before snapping a picture. She clicks the film forward and snaps another shot just as Handong lifts her eyes to Yoohyeon’s.

“I’m not even posed!” Handong complains with a laugh as Yoohyeon clicks the film forward again and takes another picture.

“And you’re still stunning,” Yoohyeon says with a smile. She clicks the film forward and lowers the camera, taking a few steps closer to Handong.

Handong pouts, folding her arms over her chest with a huff. “I want to look good for you, not like an absolute fool.”

Yoohyeon hums softly, reaching out one hand to cup Handong’s cheek. “You always look good for me,” She whispers, leaning forward to press a whisper of a kiss against Handong’s mouth before pulling back and lifting the camera. She adjusts the focus again.

Handong looks stunned as the camera shutter snaps, and she blinks, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Not like that, I don’t!” She whines.

“I beg to differ,” Yoohyeon teases, taking another picture as Handong sticks her tongue out at her.

“You won’t even know how these look until you develop the film!” Handong complains, her tone whiny.

Yoohyeon hums and snaps another picture, this one of Handong pouting at her. “That’s the beauty of it,” She murmurs, clicking the film forward. She lowers the camera and takes a step closer to Handong. “And you know what?” She asks, leaning forward to kiss Handong’s cheek.

“What?” Handong asks, reaching out with both hands to grab Yoohyeon’s hips, preventing her from stepping back.

“I already know how they’ll turn out,” Yoohyeon says softly, letting Handong kiss her gently. She pulls back slightly, smiling warmly at the model. “Because it doesn’t really matter how messy it looks, right?”

Handong quirks an eyebrow, frowning.

“The subject makes the photo. Even if it’s messy or blurry, it’ll still be a good photo. Because the subject is good.”

“That makes no sense,” Handong protests softly with a laugh. “You make no sense.”

“But you still keep me around,” Yoohyeon counters gently. “Even though I make no sense and I’m messy.”

Handong hums thoughtfully, lifting a hand to cup Yoohyeon’s cheek. “Because I like that you make no sense. I like that you’re messy.”

Yoohyeon bites her lip, fighting a smile. “Exactly why these pictures will turn out better than you think.”

Handong huffs a breath against Yoohyeon’s lips as she leans in to kiss her. “You’re still not making any sense.”

“Eye of the beholder, baby,” Yoohyeon whispers with a laugh that’s swallowed by Handong’s lips.

Handong grunts, pushing Yoohyeon back a few steps. She pulls her back with her hand on the photographer’s hip. “I hate you,” She grumbles, tucking her face into Yoohyeon’s neck.

“Beg to differ,” Yoohyeon whispers, shutting her eyes with a soft sigh as Handong’s lips press soft kisses to the column of her neck.

“You could’ve just said eye of the beholder instead of everything you said,” Handong mumbles, her teeth scraping against Yoohyeon’s pulse.

“I could’ve,” Yoohyeon agrees softly, pulling one hand from her camera to reach for Handong’s waist. “But where’s the fun in that?” She asks, letting out a soft gasp when sharp teeth nip at her skin.

“It would’ve cut the length of that entire conversation in half,” Handong grumbles. She pulls her face from Yoohyeon’s neck and lets out a soft sigh, frowning at Yoohyeon.

“Exactly why I did it,” Yoohyeon murmurs, tilting her head slightly to capture Handong’s lips with her own. “Exactly why I’m a photographer.”

Handong hums into the kiss, gently pushing Yoohyeon back with a hand on the woman’s chest. “Explain?” She asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Life goes by too fast,” Yoohyeon says in a whisper. She glances down, pulling her hand from Handong’s hip to cradle her camera in both hands. “We shorten conversations by abbreviating words, we condense our thoughts into a few short paragraphs. We fast-forward through parts of movies we’ve seen already.”

Handong hums softly, reaching up to run her fingers gently through Yoohyeon’s short brown hair, brushing it back from the photographer’s face.

“We forget things so easily, so quickly,” Yoohyeon breathes out. She looks up at Handong with a wistful smile. “I can barely remember middle and high school. And that’s terrifying to me.”

She takes a breath, letting out a soft laugh. She hadn’t meant for the conversation to take this route. But now that she’s talking, she can’t seem to stop. “In a few years, maybe less than a decade, how many people do you think will remember you in this dress?” She asks softly.

Handong glances down at the white dress she wears, reaching her hands down to gather some of the material and ball it up in her fists. She lifts her head, frowning.

“Probably very few,” Yoohyeon answers for her. She lifts her camera, tilting it gently back and forth to draw attention to it. “With this, people will remember it forever. It’ll be in magazines all over the country. You’ll be remembered forever because I captured you on film.”

Handong lets out a breath, letting go of her dress and reaching for Yoohyeon.

“This is just a blip,” Yoohyeon murmurs, allowing Handong to tug her face closer. “Just an inconsequential moment in time,” She mumbles quickly before Handong’s lips are on hers. “Every photo’s a time capsule,” She whispers, pulling back slightly.

“Your mind is so fascinating, you know that?” Handong asks, her hands threading through Yoohyeon’s hair.

“You say that a lot,” Yoohyeon teases softly, opening her eyes to look at Handong. “I think you yourself are fascinating,” She whispers. “That’s why you’re my favorite subject.” She lifts the camera between them, stepping back slightly.

Handong rolls her eyes and fixes Yoohyeon with a soft look as she plants her hands on her hips. “How many more pictures do you have on that roll?” She asks.

Yoohyeon hums softly, lifting the camera up and looking through the viewfinder. She snaps a picture, pulling her face back slightly to check the counter as she clicks the film forward. “Seven,” She answers softly.

“How do you want me?” Handong asks.

“However you want to be,” Yoohyeon says, smiling as Handong heaves a sigh and shakes her head.

“You’re supposed to tell me how to stand, aren’t you?” Handong turns away from Yoohyeon, facing the wall. She shifts, looking over her shoulder at Yoohyeon with a gentle smile on her face.

“I don’t think you need any direction from me,” Yoohyeon admits softly, lifting the camera up. She adjusts the focus slightly and snaps the picture of Handong looking over her shoulder at her. At her, not the camera. When it’s just them, Handong almost never looks at the camera.

She lowers the camera as she advances the film, watching Handong move to perch on a chair in the corner. She follows, moving to crouch down close by and get a few snaps of the model looking down at her, elbow resting on her knee with her hand under her chin.

“How many left?” Handong asks.

“Three,” Yoohyeon answers, lowering the camera as she clicks the film forward. She sees Handong reaching for her, and she stands, shuffling closer to the chair.

“Let me?” Handong asks, hands reaching for the camera. She stands up, raising her eyebrows in question.

“Do I have to teach you?” Yoohyeon asks, relinquishing the camera.

“I can figure it out,” Handong says, pulling Yoohyeon forward to press a kiss to the photographer’s lips. “Sit down,” She urges, turning and pushing Yoohyeon into the chair with a soft laugh.

Yoohyeon lets out a huff as she’s forced into the chair. She sighs, letting herself relax as she hooks her arms over the armrests and stretches out her legs with a soft groan. She peeks at Handong, who’s frowning at the camera slightly. She lets out a laugh, drawing Handong’s attention. “Need help?”

“No,” Handong says, fingers adjusting their grip on the camera body. “Unbutton your shirt,” She whispers, looking through the viewfinder before lifting her head to look at Yoohyeon with a single raised eyebrow.

Yoohyeon tilts her head to the side slightly, feeling her face grow warm. “Three shots left of that film roll, and you want to waste them?”

Handong scoffs, offended. “Waste them?” She asks, stepping forward to stand in between Yoohyeon’s knees. She leans down with a deep frown on her face. “No one is going to see these,” She whispers.

“You are,” Yoohyeon whispers back, her hands coming up slightly to fiddle with the buttons of her shirt. She watches Handong step back slightly and heaves a sigh, pulling the second button from its home.

“Slowly,” Handong whispers, the camera in front of her face. “Look at me,” She commands gently.

Yoohyeon lifts her eyes to Handong, avoiding the camera lens. Her cheeks are hot, probably a nice red and her fingers fumble with the next button. It’s strange being on the other side of the lens. She kind of likes it? She blinks as the shutter snaps and lets out a laugh.

“Don’t laugh,” Handong scolds, her tone soft. She clicks the film forward.

“My shirt isn’t even fully unbuttoned yet,” Yoohyeon points out gently, laughing when the shutter snaps again.

“So?” Handong asks, advancing the film for the final time. “I never said I wanted pictures of you undressed.”

Yoohyeon hums softly and shakes her head with another soft laugh. “So why am I taking my shirt off then?” She asks, undoing another button.

“Because I asked you to,” Handong murmurs. “Look at me.”

“I am,” Yoohyeon says softly. “I’m always looking at you.”

Handong lifts her head, frowning. “I’m the one behind the camera right now. Stop being cheesy.”

Yoohyeon grins, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

The camera snaps.

“Now what?” Handong asks, lowering the camera. She tilts it side to side, frowning. “How do you get the film out?”

“You have to rewind it first,” Yoohyeon says, standing from the chair. She holds her hands out for the camera, smiling when Handong passes it to her without a word. “Here, I’ll show you.”

Handong hums softly and shifts closer, her hands reaching up to fiddle with the remaining buttons on Yoohyeon’s shirt.

“You flip this up,” Yoohyeon says, focused on the camera. She can feel Handong pulling the buttons on her shirt apart but ignores it, tilting the camera slightly to expose the underside. “See this button? You gotta hit this, and then you can rewind the film.”

Handong hums again, sounding a bit distracted.

Yoohyeon doesn’t mind all that much, feeling Handong tug her shirt apart once the buttons are undone. Warm hands slide over her sides, fingers splaying over her ribs, but she focuses on rewinding the film. “Then when you feel it catch, you pull this piece up,” She says, pulling up on the rewind lever. The back of the camera pops open, and she pulls the film canister out, looking up at Handong with a smile. “Ta-da!”

Handong smiles back at her, leaning forward to kiss Yoohyeon softly.

“You weren’t paying any attention to that, were you?” Yoohyeon mumbles against the model’s lips.

“Not really,” Handong admits softly. “Sorry.”

“Mm, ’s ok. Pretty easy, honestly,” Yoohyeon mumbles as Handong kisses her again. “Getting the film ready for development is the fun part.”

“Oh yeah?” Handong asks, her fingers tickling Yoohyeon’s sides gently.

“Mhm,” Yoohyeon hums, letting out a soft laugh against Handong’s lips. “You know that closet?”

“The one that’s pitch black and doesn’t have any lights in it?”

“Yeah,” Yoohyeon says with a soft laugh. She pushes the back of the camera shut and holds up the spool of film. “If any of this film is exposed to light right now, it’s ruined. So, to take it out of the canister, you have to do it in the dark.”

“Spooky,” Handong whispers with a laugh.

Yoohyeon grins. “You have to pry this cap off.” She gestures to the flat side of the canister. “Usually with a bottle opener or something. Then you take out the film and put it into another, bigger container and seal it.”

“Is that where the chemicals come in?” Handong asks.

“Yep!” Yoohyeon exclaims with a wide grin. “The bigger container has a little cap you take off and pour the chemicals in. Then you have to shake it for a while before draining the chemicals.”

“Then you hang it up to dry?”

“Mhm,” Yoohyeon hums, nodding her head. She sets the camera down on the chair and digs into her pocket for one of the plastic film canisters. She uncaps it and pushes the spool of film inside, snapping the cap back on.

“Are you going to go do that now?” Handong asks, her hands warm against Yoohyeon’s ribs.

“I would, but I get the feeling you don’t want me to,” Yoohyeon says with a soft laugh.

Handong hums. “You’d be correct.” She slides her hands to Yoohyeon’s hips, squeezing gently. “It’s been a long night, and I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” She whispers, leaning up to capture Yoohyeon’s lips with her own.

Yoohyeon hums into the kiss, reaching up with her free hand to cup Handong’s cheek. “I know what you mean,” She whispers, pulling back a tiny bit. “Bedroom?” She asks.

“Please,” Handong murmurs. “I need help getting this dress off.” She laughs, pulling back with a smile.

“Let me put my camera away, and I’ll be right there to help, ok?” Yoohyeon asks, reaching to scoop the camera up from the chair.

“Don’t take too long,” Handong warns, a teasing smile on her lips. “You know I get impatient.”

Yoohyeon laughs at that, nodding her head as she watches Handong move backward toward the door. “Oh, I am well aware. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Handong says, pausing in the doorway to sweep her eyes over Yoohyeon. “I love you, you know.”

Yoohyeon lets out a breath, her shoulders relaxing as the words wash over her. “I know,” She whispers back, watching Handong’s eyes sparkle. “I love you too.”

Handong hums softly before disappearing down the hallway.

Yoohyeon shakes herself, laughing softly as she looks around the room. She moves to gather Handong’s heels, carrying them by the straps as she exits the room. She puts her camera back into the cabinet and grabs a marker, labeling the plastic canister before setting it on one of the shelves.

Moving to the bedroom, she pauses, letting out a breath before she pushes open the door.

Handong’s sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on her phone, the dress bunched up in her lap. She looks up, a smile tugging at her lips. “Oh,” She says, laughing gently. “I forgot my shoes.”

“No worries,” Yoohyeon says, setting the heels down by the door. “Now, I’m supposed to be helping you out of that, aren’t I?” She asks, gesturing to the dress.

Handong hums, standing and setting her phone on the nightstand. “If you would be so kind,” She says dramatically, turning so her back faces Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon nudges the bedroom door shut with her foot before padding across the carpeted floor to stand behind Handong. She hesitates for a few seconds, hands hovering to the sides of Handong’s hips.

“Everything ok?” Handong asks, her voice soft.

Yoohyeon hums softly, moving her hands to hold Handong’s hips gently. “Yeah, just… I love you.”

“And I love you,” Handong says, turning around to face Yoohyeon. She drapes her arms over Yoohyeon’s shoulders, loosely lacing her fingers together behind the photographer’s neck. “What’s up?” She asks softly, her warm brown eyes searching Yoohyeon’s face.

Yoohyeon shrugs. “I don’t know,” She admits in a whisper. “I just… Feel sad all of a sudden.”

Handong frowns and moves closer, pressing herself to Yoohyeon’s front. “Talk to me,” She urges gently.

“I don’t know,” Yoohyeon whispers again with a small shake of her head. “I just… I wish you were mine.”

“I am yours, silly,” Handong says gently with a soft laugh. Her eyebrows furrow, and she brings one hand forward to cup Yoohyeon’s cheek. She brushes her thumb back and forth in a soothing motion, frowning slightly.

“Not really,” Yoohyeon whispers. “Not all of you.”

Handong’s frown deepens. “Tell me what you mean,” She whispers. “I’m listening, Yoohyeon. Tell me what you mean.”

Yoohyeon swallows, trying to find the words and order them correctly in her head to get her thoughts across. It’s hard, and the words trip out of her mouth, but Handong doesn’t laugh at her or tease. She just listens.

“You… You’re like a public figure,” She whispers. “You’re in magazines everywhere. People know you, they know your face, they know your smile.”

Handong hums softly, running her fingers through Yoohyeon’s hair gently.

“They know almost everything about you,” Yoohyeon mumbles. “I… I wish it was all mine.”

“They don’t know everything about me,” Handong whispers.

“I know that, but… It feels like they do. With all the interviews you do. I just… I wish you were mine.” Yoohyeon shuts her eyes tightly, letting out a breath. “I’m sorry, I’m-” She cuts herself off, shaking her head.

“Don’t apologize,” Handong scolds gently. “Can I tell you something?”

Yoohyeon hums softly, feeling Handong gently tug at her hair.

“It’s all fake,” Handong whispers. “When I’m out there, getting photographed, getting interviewed,” She murmurs. “Everything’s fake. My smile, my laugh, it’s all fake.”

“Not all the time,” Yoohyeon gently points out.

“Not all the time because sometimes you’re there,” Handong amends. “It’s real when you’re there. When you’re not, it’s fake. They can have that me, the fake one. You have the real me, Yoohyeon.”

“Promise?” Yoohyeon breathes, opening her eyes to look at Handong.

“Promise,” Handong says firmly, tugging gently at Yoohyeon’s hair again. “They have the me that’s perfect all time, the me that has no discernable flaws.” She pulls Yoohyeon into a soft kiss, hands moving to cup the photographer’s face. “You have the real me. The one with flaws, the one who isn’t perfect all the time.”

Yoohyeon pouts. “That’s not true.”

“It is, but you think I’m perfect regardless, so,” Handong says with a soft laugh and shrug of her shoulders. “You get to see me unedited, unphotoshopped. They see a version of me that’s been edited to hell and back, airbrushed to perfection.”

“They ruin the photos when they do that,” Yoohyeon grumbles, getting a laugh from Handong. She squeezes Handong’s hips gently, the fabric of the dress bunching in her fists.

“I don’t look real when they do that, right?” Handong asks.

“Yeah,” Yoohyeon whispers.

“Exactly. That’s what the world gets. That’s the version of me the world sees. The fake, photoshopped to oblivion version of me,” Handong whispers. She shifts, gently pushing Yoohyeon back a step. “You get this me,” She says, gesturing to herself. “The real me. The silly, goofy me. Unedited, unscripted.”

“For how long?” Yoohyeon whispers, squeezing Handong’s hips gently.

“Forever, if that’s how long you want me,” Handong answers softly, closing the gap between them. She drapes her arms back over Yoohyeon’s shoulders and pulls the photographer closer, their breaths mingling in the small space between their lips. “Please, say you want me forever.”

“I do,” Yoohyeon whispers. “I want you forever. I just wish I didn’t have to share. Even if that you is fake, I wish it were all mine.”

“I know,” Handong murmurs. “But you get every other version of me.” She shifts slightly, pressing her lips to Yoohyeon’s briefly before she turns around, her back to Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon takes the hint and reaches up to unzip the back of Handong’s dress, moving her hands up to push the material away from Handong’s skin.

“You have me when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m angry,” Handong says, turning to face Yoohyeon. She smiles warmly at the woman, leaning forward to press her lips to Yoohyeon’s cheek. “You have every version of me that the world doesn’t get to see.”

Yoohyeon hums softly, helping Handong out of the dress. She drapes it over her arm and lets out a sigh, looking down at the fabric for a few seconds.

“You get to see me like this,” Handong whispers, nudging Yoohyeon’s head up with a hand under the photographer’s chin. “No one else gets to see me like this.”

“I would hope not,” Yoohyeon says with a soft laugh as she drinks in the sight of Handong in front of her.

Handong chuckles softly and steps forward, pulling the dress from Yoohyeon’s arms to let it drop to the floor.

Yoohyeon blinks, frowning down at the crumpled fabric before lifting her eyes to Handong’s. “I thought you didn’t want that to get dirty,” She says, letting Handong pull her closer by her hips.

Handong shrugs her shoulders, pushing Yoohyeon’s shirt off her shoulders. “Changed my mind,” She murmurs, leaning forward to press her lips against Yoohyeon’s bare shoulder. “It has to be washed anyway.”

“Nobody else gets to see you like this?” Yoohyeon whispers, lifting her hands to smooth over Handong’s shoulders, thumbs sweeping over soft skin.

“No one,” Handong confirms softly, squeezing Yoohyeon’s hips gently as she presses another kiss to the woman’s shoulder. “Just you.”

“And you’re mine?” Yoohyeon asks, gently pushing Handong toward the bed.

“I’m yours,” Handong responds with a soft laugh as Yoohyeon pushes her to sit on the edge of the mattress. “Are you mine?”

“Always,” Yoohyeon answers, pulling her hands away from Handong to wiggle her shirt off her arms.

Handong laughs as Yoohyeon flails her arms around behind her and reaches out to help. “I love you, Kim Yoohyeon,” She breathes as Yoohyeon’s shirt joins the dress in a pile on the floor.

“And I love you, Kim Handong,” Yoohyeon whispers, climbing onto the bed to straddle Handong’s lap.

“Oh?” Handong questions softly, wrapping her arms around Yoohyeon’s waist before falling back onto the mattress, pulling Yoohyeon with her. “Are you proposing?”

Yoohyeon bites her lip, hands pressing into the mattress on either side of Handong’s head as she hovers over her. “Maybe,” She whispers, leaning down to connect their lips.

Handong hums into the contact, her hands moving to the front of Yoohyeon’s pants, undoing her belt. “Not sure if that’s the answer I wanted to hear,” She admits softly as she tugs the belt free from the belt loops. She tosses it away, the buckle clattering against itself as it hits the floor.

“What’s the answer you wanted to hear?” Yoohyeon asks, shifting slightly to press a line of kisses to Handong’s neck.

“A yes,” Handong murmurs softly. “Maybe even you just straight up asking me to-”

“Han Dong,” Yoohyeon cuts in softly, pulling back to meet Handong’s eyes. “I don’t have a ring right now,” She admits carefully, watching Handong’s eyes. She swallows. “I don’t have a ring. I don’t even know how to shop for one. I don’t know your ring size or what kind of stone to get.”

“You don’t need to-”

“But I love you,” Yoohyeon breathes out. “I adore you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want forever with you. This isn’t how or when I wanted to ask, but… No time like the present, right?”

Handong hums softly, breathing out soft puffs of warm air against Yoohyeon’s lips.

“Han Dong, will you marry me? Will you spend forever with me? Even if I’m messy and don’t make sense, will you be mine?”

Handong lets out a breath, laughing softly. “I love that you’re messy and don’t make any sense, Yoohyeon. I’m already yours. You already have me. Of course, I want forever with you. I’d love to marry you, you silly fool.”

“Your silly fool,” Yoohyeon murmurs with a laugh as Handong rolls her eyes and drags her down into a kiss that burns around the edges.

“My silly fool,” Handong agrees, rolling them over. She shifts, sitting on Yoohyeon’s hips with a soft sigh. “Now,” She says, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “I think we were heading somewhere, but we got a little off-course.”

“Were we?” Yoohyeon asks, grinning when Handong narrows her eyes at her. “Kidding,” She whispers as the model leans down over her, red hair creating a curtain around her face.

“Look at me,” Handong whispers, curling a few fingers under Yoohyeon’s chin. “Only you get to see me like this. No one else.”

Yoohyeon hums softly, pushing herself up onto her elbows to bring her face closer to Handong’s. “All mine?” She whispers, straining her neck to brush her lips against Handong’s.

“All yours, silly fool,” Handong breathes, letting herself fall forward with her arms draped over Yoohyeon’s shoulders. She presses their lips together gently, one hand coming up to cup the back of Yoohyeon’s head.

Yoohyeon is grateful for the confirmation. It makes something click together in her head, hearing Handong say it. She gets to see the Handong the world isn’t privy to. The Handong that laughs too loud, the Handong who smiles wide enough to make the skin around her eyes crinkle.

Yoohyeon gets the Handong who snores and talks in her sleep. The Handong who is messy and gross. The Handong who gets sad and cries, the Handong that needs comfort and cuddles. She gets the Handong who rages about photographers who get too close, journalists who ask questions that should’ve been screened out before interviews.

The world doesn’t get to see the Handong who sighs loudly in Yoohyeon’s ears, letting out soft little gasps as her back arches off the mattress under Yoohyeon’s touch. That’s only for Yoohyeon.

The world gets a fake, airbrushed version of Handong. One who smiles politely and sits with her hands folded neatly in her lap. The world gets a Handong who giggles primly behind her hand.

Yoohyeon gets the version of Handong who squeals with laughter and squirms away when Yoohyeon blows a raspberry against her stomach. Yoohyeon gets the Handong who reaches for her with grabby hands and a pout on her lips, begging for kisses. No one else gets that.

The world doesn’t get to see Handong, with hair sticking to her forehead and the sides of her face, curled up tightly next to Yoohyeon, lips parted slightly as she breathes deeply in slumber. The world doesn’t get to sweep away the strands of hair or kiss Handong’s forehead.

The world gets photoshopped, airbrushed, edited versions of Handong. The world doesn’t get to see what Yoohyeon sees, despite many of their pictures coming from Yoohyeon’s camera.

And when Yoohyeon sneaks out of the bedroom to develop the roll of film from earlier, she’s reminded again. And again, when she’s looking through the negatives, seeing Handong looking past the camera with soft eyes and a softer smile. That’s not for anyone other than Yoohyeon.

And again, when the sheets of photo paper are soaking in the chemical baths, pictures slowly appearing, she’s reminded once more. The difference between Handong posing on a red carpet and Handong looking past the camera at Yoohyeon is stark.

Handong on the red carpet is stiff, her back ramrod straight with her shoulders back and her head tilted up. Handong in the studio is softer, more relaxed. Her smile is warmer and real, not forced. Her eyes aren’t as sharp as they were on the carpet, and Yoohyeon can feel the love from them hours after the photo was taken.

As she’s clipping the photos up to dry, Yoohyeon hears the revolving door turn. She waits for a few seconds, hearing footsteps pad across the room toward her. “I thought you were asleep,” She whispers, feeling warm hands slide over her hips.

“I was,” Handong mumbles, pressing her face into the space between Yoohyeon’s shoulder blades. “I woke up, and you were gone. Figured you’d be in here.”

Yoohyeon hums softly. “I’m almost done,” She says, clipping up another photo. “What do you think?” She asks, gesturing. She feels Handong shift behind her, a chin digging gently into her shoulder.

Handong hums, the sound rumbling against Yoohyeon’s back. “You make me look so pretty,” She murmurs.

Yoohyeon lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “I didn’t do anything. I just took a picture.”

“What about the ones I took?” Handong asks, pulling her chin from Yoohyeon’s shoulder to peek into the trays resting on a table.

“Should be about done with the first one,” Yoohyeon says, picking up a pair of plastic tongs. She dips them into the leftmost tray, gently shaking out the photo paper. She shifts, turning on a small sink and holding the picture underneath the water for a bit. She shifts again, pressing the photo paper against a small plastic board above the sink as she exchanges the tongs for a squeegee.

“I should watch you do this more often,” Handong murmurs as Yoohyeon wipes excess liquid off the photo paper with the squeegee.

“Fun, right?” Yoohyeon asks with a grin. She hears Handong hum from behind her and clips the photo up next to the others. She grabs the tongs again and transfers the picture in the middle tray to the leftmost one and the picture that’s in the right tray to the middle.

“How long do they stay in each?”

“About a minute for the developer, ten seconds for the stop bath, and two minutes for the fixer,” Yoohyeon answers softly, tilting the leftmost tub slightly to fully submerge the paper. She uses the tongs to pull the picture from the middle tray, carefully sliding it underneath the one already in the left tray. “Then you rinse, squeegee, and dry.”

“Oh, that came out well,” Handong murmurs, lifting a hand to point at the picture Yoohyeon hung up.

Yoohyeon looks at it as she gently rocks the leftmost tray to agitate the liquid. It’s her, staring slightly past the camera, her fingers hesitating on the buttons of her shirt. Even in black and white with the red lighting of the darkroom, it’s clear that her cheeks are flushed. “Eye of the beholder, I suppose,” She murmurs.

“Oh, come on!” Handong whines, squeezing Yoohyeon’s hips softly. “Look how good you look!”

“It’s a good picture. I’m not saying that it isn’t,” Yoohyeon counters softly, using the tongs to retrieve the top picture from the tray. She turns on the sink again, running the glossy paper underneath the stream.

“That’s the you I see,” Handong whispers. “The you that only I get.”

Yoohyeon hums in agreement, glancing at the picture again as she shuts off the sink. “I mean, I wouldn’t undress for anyone else, so-”

“Oh, you-” Handong pinches the photographer’s side, making her squirm. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” Yoohyeon says with a laugh, using the squeegee on the paper. She clips it up next to the other one and reaches down to rock the tray again.

“I like that one,” Handong says, sliding her arms around Yoohyeon’s waist.

Yoohyeon looks at the picture she’d just hung up. She’s smiling in it, her hands slightly blurry as they move to the next button on her shirt. Her cheeks are still flushed, and her eyes are locked on Handong, just past the camera lens.

“Maybe one of these days, you give me a little lesson?” Handong asks, pressing a kiss to the back of Yoohyeon’s neck.

“A lesson?” Yoohyeon murmurs, pulling the last photograph from the tray. She rinses it off and squeegees the excess water from the surface before clipping it next to the others.

“Oh,” Handong breathes, pointing. “That’s my favorite.”

Yoohyeon looks at the picture. She’s got her head tilted slightly to the side, a smirk on her lips as she shrugs her shoulders. Her cheeks are still obviously flushed, her shirt half-unbuttoned.

“A lesson in how to use that camera,” Handong says gently. “Maybe we switch roles, and you can be the model.”

“Me?” Yoohyeon asks, turning in Handong’s arms to face her. She’s bathed in red from the lamps, looking sleepy and soft as she hums and snuggles closer to Yoohyeon.

“Maybe, if you’re ok with that,” Handong whispers, stepping back. She curls her fingers around Yoohyeon’s wrists and gently pulls her toward the revolving door. “But we can talk about it later. I’m tired.”

Yoohyeon hums softly. “Let me wash my hands, and I’ll be right there, I promise.”

Handong heaves a soft sigh and nods her head, letting go of Yoohyeon and stepping back. “Hurry,” She whispers before she pushes through the door and disappears.

Yoohyeon follows a few seconds later, ducking into the bathroom to wash her hands before hurrying into the bedroom, where Handong is tugging the covers up over herself.

Handong stops, flipping the blankets back and patting the space beside her on the mattress, a sleepy smile on her lips.

A sleepy smile that only Yoohyeon gets to bear witness to. She grins and crawls underneath the covers, settling on her back as Handong flips the covers back over her and snuggles into her side.

“Goodnight, my love,” Yoohyeon whispers, shifting to press a kiss to Handong’s forehead as she slides her arms around the model.

Handong hums softly, shifting closer and tucking her face into Yoohyeon’s neck. She presses a few soft kisses there before she breathes out a soft sigh. “Goodnight, my silly fool.”