Archive of Our Own

“Akkun…”

Hanagaki placed his head on the desk.

“Akkun…” he groaned louder, like that would help.

And finally, Sendo gave a long sigh. It was clear that he wasn’t going to get any of his homework done, and god knew that Hanagaki was just as useless. “Alright, alright,” he said, closing his notebook because at least both of them were going to fail together. “I’ll do my homework later. What the hell do you want to do?”

Hanagaki perked right up, earlier fatigue forgotten as a wide grin stretched on his face, as he scooted closer. His eyes shone, shimmering and glittering like stars. “Akkun! What do you want to do?”

His long time friend stared at him for another moment before he gave a long exhale, half sigh, half groan.

“You are so lucky I like you,” he said, and wasn't that a dirty understatement?

Hanagaki grinned back, “Should we hit the arcade?”

Sendo pushed away from his desk, a grin on his face.

“That eager to get your ass kicked?”

“Oooh,” Hanagaki laughed, a sound that if crystallized, would be priceless, “You’re on!”

Sendo grinned back, all previous annoyances already forgotten as he grabbed his jacket and headed out. On his way out, he made sure to step on one of Hanagaki's laces, and laughed loudly when the young man tripped into the doorframe.

"Augh! Akkun!"

Sendo laughed back, a bright sound that reverberated between them.

"Takemichi!" he laughed back before his friend scowled at him.

Their eyes met, and both of them broke down in laughter. Ditching their homework should not make them laugh like maniacs, but the freedom from math was something worth celebrating.

His eyes took in Hanagaki's features under the first glow of the streetlights. The way the light caught between locks of his blond hair. It was something he could draw from memory, pick out the colors and then burn away into nothing because he wasn't sure if there was anything quite like-

"Whoa!"

-the way Hanagaki threw his arm around Sendo's shoulders and came in closer, still laughing.

Habit made Sendo reach his arm around his shoulders too. It was uncomfortable and it was familiar.

"Alright, no Sub-Zero, right?"

"Fuck you, you sore loser."

–

“Thought you were too busy to come out and hang out!”

Hanagaki almost jumped out of his skin, and Sendo took a step back when an arm came swinging at him. He dodged, and the swinging arm came to rest around Hanagaki’s shoulders, yanking him away from the arcade machine. It wasn’t a hit, he realized.

It wasn't a fight.

Just like that, it was a game-over for Hanagaki, but Sendo felt like he was the one that lost. There was an edge to the way Smiley looked at him, wide grin on his face, as he tugged Hanagaki closer.

“You even lose in games? Takemitchy, you ever win anything before?”

“S-Smiley-kun!” Hanagaki gasped, “I lost because of you!” A whine tinged his voice and Sendo felt like the places next to Hanagaki were getting smaller and smaller when Angry came to the other side.

“Haa?” Smiley tilted his head, smile turning into a blade, and Hanagaki quailed.

“Smiley,” Angry’s voice was gruff, “Takemitchy’s sad he lost. Don't rub it in his face.”

“Oh, so sorry,” looking absolutely unrepentant, the older twin apologized with a wide grin splitting his face.

Looking at the blinking “GAME OVER” on the screen, the blond gave a long sigh. His shoulder slumped and they watched him fold like a wet blanket. Sendo watched as Hanagaki shrugged it off.

“Okay,” he said, probably thinking that he better cut his losses and play along, “What’s up?” he asked.

“C’mon,” Smiley said, “I’ll make it up to you. Angry and I found a sick ramen place, you in?”

“It’s really good,” Angry added, and while everyone that knew him knew he meant well, made it sound like a threat. “You’ll like it.” It was probably meant to sound encouraging, but it came off more like Angry would force Hanagaki to enjoy it.

“Yeah, yeah.”

And then, turning around even when Smile's arm was over his shoulders and against his neck, and Angry was almost right against him, Hanagaki’s eyes caught Sendo’s with some discomfort. Stubborn in the most useless times, Sendo thought.

“Akkun!” he called out between Smiley-kun and Angry-kun, and he gave a wide grin, “You coming?”

And Sendo shook his head.

“I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, like he always did when he felt eclipsed. “I promised my sister I’d help her.” He wasn't sure with what, and he doubted that Hanagaki would know either.

“Oh,” Hanagaki said, and for a moment, Sendo thought that he’d be called out on his bullshitting. Instead, his friend nodded, “Yeah, your sister is scary.”

“Scarier than my brother?” Angry asked, a frown on his face.

Smiley’s grip on Hanagaki turned tighter and the teen between them choked.

“Whoa,” he said, pale-faced and sweating bullets. He waved at Sendo again, “If it’s good, we’ll go with the others.”

The twins might have said something else, but all Sendo saw was the small smile on Hanagaki’s face and he smiled back.

“Yeah,” he said, and he waved back. “Sounds good.”

Not for the first time, he watched Hanagaki go.

–

“Takemichi?”

He looked to the side where his friend was asleep. He shook his head. The audacity of this asshole, to demand that they watch every goddamn movie in this shitty yakuza series and he was sleeping through it? They didn't even start the third movie? Just the sight of him, mouth open and head tipped back against his bed had Sendo shaking his head.

All in all, he looked like an idiot.

“Takemichi,” he called out, just to be certain, and when the man didn’t move, figured a little bit of revenge never hurt anyone.

Sendo took a picture, sent it to their friends, felt like treasures weren’t purchasable, and nudged him.

“Oi, Takemichi, go sleep on the bed.”

Looked like Hanagaki was going to spend the night again. And if he didn't give him the bed, Hanagaki was going to bitch and moan all tomorrow. Sendo called it cutting his loses.

He looked over his shoulder, and saw that it was two in the morning. He yawned again. Fuck this shit, it was time to sleep. They had class in six hours. They would figure it out in the morning.

Even though it would be hell on his neck and back in the morning, Sendo slotted himself next to Hanagaki. He pulled a blanket over the two of them, and pretended that he fell asleep during the movie too.

Closing his eyes, he felt Hanagaki lean against him, and had a dream where this wouldn’t change.

-

Sendo's steps came to a stop when he made it to the right hospital room. It really felt like he came here too much now. 

"Takemitchy, don't you get tired of coming here?" he asked as he took a seat next to him. His fingers still felt cold from when he got the call. His hands trembled, but he managed to make it here.

"Akkun!" his eyes shined brightly, and Sendo shook his head while sighing. Undoubtedly, without even asking how he was doing, he immediately asked, "Did you bring me some pudding?"

He rolled his eyes as he lifted the plastic bag in his hand. Why did he ever bother with this guy? "What do you think, you idiot?"

"You're the best!"

"Eeeh?" The long, drawn-out sound came from the door and the two turned to see Inui and Kokonoi walk in, "I thought I was the best."

"Inupi-kun! Koko-kun!"

Ignoring everything else, the blond marched right up to Hanagaki's side, "How are you feeling?" he asked, completely ignoring the fact that there was another person here.

But it was fine. Sendo saw how they treated Matsuno and the others. It might be better that they ignored him. 

"They said I'll probably get released tomorrow," he replied back, a cheeky grin on his face, "but I need to stay home and rest up for a few more days."

Meaning that Matsuno and Shiba were going to be skipping the next few days as well. Sendo should decide when he would stop by with their other idiots. No need to crowd Hanagaki's room with all of them.

"Okay, I'll be there," Inui replied back and Kokonoi dropped the plastic bag he brought next to Hanagaki on the other side of the bed.

"Brought you some snacks," he said, a smug grin on his face.

"Wow!" Hanagaki started to rummage through the bag, "Snacks!"

Sendo eyed the snacks, some of which were definitely foreign and would cost him his entire allowance. He looked back at the two cups of pudding he brought so that he and Hanagaki could eat them together and felt like no one would notice that he wasn't there.

Between Kokonoi's sardonic voice telling Hanagaki about how insufferable Kisaki had been the last few days they've been planning revenge, while Inui dutifully opened each snack that Hanagaki wanted to eat and watched on with an exceedingly warm gaze. Hanagaki nodded along, and then his eyes met Sendo's.

"Akkun," he said, "try this! You love raspberries, right?"

Sendo's eyes widened a little and he gave a smile back.

"Yeah," he said, taking the snack and eating it. He didn't know what it was, but the grin on Hanagaki's face made it taste sweeter than anything he's ever had. "Pretty good," he said.

"Right! Koko-kun, where'd you get it? I'm going to need more if I'm going to bribe Akkun for his homework."

Pretending that he didn't feel the cold gaze of Inui or Kokonoi, Sendo chewed and swallowed.

–

“Akkun…” Hanagaki’s yawn could have ripped his mouth open, “Why does school have to be so early?” he whined.

“You can’t say that after missing the first two periods,” Sendo snorted back.

“Augh, my mom threw me out of the bed today,” the young man said, shaking his head. “She told me that I shouldn’t be a useless bum already.”

Sendo laughed, and could just hear Hanagaki’s mom say the same thing.

“It’s not funny, Akkun! I need my beauty sleep!”

His friend laughed even harder at that, until he felt the blood in his veins turn to ice at someone else’s voice. He kept the smile on his face, finally learning how to control his expression better, and wondered if this was what growing up was like. Sendo kept his cool and relaxed his shoulders.

“I don’t think you need it,” Hakkai’s voice was smooth, almost as smooth as he was entering the conversation uninvited, “Takemitchy, you got a problem that sleep isn’t going to fix.”

“H-Hakkai-kun! That's so mean!”

Sendo leaned back, as he always did, when he started to become an observer. As he always did, when loner Shiba, who was always surrounded by girls but only smiled when he saw Hanagaki, showed up. The man laughed, and several girls in their class stared at him, longing. 

“Morning, Takemitchy,” Shiba replied back, a benign smile on his face, and Hanagaki probably had no idea that Shiba had been silent and brooding as he came by to check Hanagaki’s desk between every class until he got there. “Slept in again, huh?”

“Uh yeah,” Hanagaki yawned before he gave a long sigh, “I’m here now.” He slumped backwards into his seat with a big yawn, and Sendo couldn’t help but shake his head. This guy.

Shiba laughed back, a sound that made some of the girls in the class swoon, “I can see that, Takemitchy! C’mon, let’s go eat lunch.”

“Yeah, sounds good!” and he turned to his friends, “C’mon, let’s go.”

And there was just a brief second of pause, just long enough to be a heartbeat. Hanagaki looked at them, like he didn’t understand why they weren’t moving, and Shiba's expression turned neutral. If Sendo wasn’t looking for it, he might have missed the fact that the man was asking for Hanagaki, and not Hanagaki and his tagalongs.

“We’ll catch you later,” Sendo replied, because this wasn’t a fight he wanted, it wasn’t a fight he wanted to put Hangaki in the middle of. It wouldn't even be a fight, he supposed.

At some point, he wasn’t sure when he felt like that would be a fight he wouldn’t win. Did it count if he never fought? It wasn't that Hanagaki wasn't worth fighting for. Sendo already swore to himself, a long time ago when they thought only misery waited for them under Kiyomasa's rule, that if Hanagaki would put his life down for something, Sendo would too.

But this.

Blue eyes stared at him for a second longer, a little confused but still bright, and Sendo didn't mind. This was enough. They weren't strangers or anything. Sendo didn't want the confirmation that Hanagaki wouldn't choose him.

“Huh? Why?” Makoto asked before Takuya kicked him in the back of the thigh. “Augh! Takuya! What the hell?”

“Uh,” Hanagaki hesitated when another voice came at the classroom door.

“Oi, Takemitchy!" Chifuyu shouted, "They’re going to run out of all the pizza breads!”

“Oh!” Hanagaki’s head snapped over, and he waved back, “I’m on my way!”

Without looking back, Hanagaki moved forward, and Sendo watched his back, feeling as though it's all he ever saw of him anymore.

-

There was a purr of engine that had Sendo standing up and getting his jacket. The Babu-sound was unmistakable, and he figured that Hanagaki was here to mooch homework off of him again. He told his mom that he was heading out, and then took a step outside.

Meeting eyes with Mikey.

"Huh?" his eyes widened, and behind Mikey, Hanagaki gave a wave.

"Akkun! Did you do the homework for English?" he asked, getting off the bike. "Thanks again for the ride, Mikey!"

Mikey was smiling. His gaze was sugary sweet and warm like freshly baked cookies, as it always was, when he watched Hanagaki. And as always, Sendo felt like he was the one intruding.

Even though, you know, they were the ones in front of his house.

"You got our gang leader to drop you off at my place to… get my English homework?" Sendo clarified, doing anything to get away from the way Mikey looked, staring at Hanagaki. Feign innocence. Ignorance was bliss.

"Yeah!" Hanagaki replied, eyes bright, "Help me!"

"Not even a please," Sendo sighed, shaking his head and motioned for the door. Hanagaki cheered as he rushed into Sendo's house like he owned the place.

Sendo looked back to Mikey. Even if this guy and Hanagaki went way back or whatever, Sendo never considered Mikey his friend. They were acquaintances at best, and even then, he felt like Mikey treated Hanagaki differently in a way that made Sendo feel like he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Like they had a connection none of them could even begin to understand.

"Are… you coming, too?"

Sendo could hear Hanagaki awkwardly greet Sendo's mom, almost clearly with how silent the world was outside of his house.

"...You have to take good care of him," Mikey said suddenly, still staring at the door that Hanagaki entered at. Slowly, his gaze turned to Sendo. There was a slump to his shoulders and a small smile, and on anyone else, Sendo would say that he looked defeated.

But this was Invincible Mikey, Leader of the Tokyo Manji Gang, the gang that would unite all of Japan. How could he be defeated because he was dropping off his weaker fighter at Sendo's house?

So it couldn't be that.

"...Takemitchy is pretty stupid," Mikey continued, like Sendo didn't know, "but that's also his good point."

His hands tightened on the handlebars, and then relaxed.

"Treat him well," he said, before his motorbike roared to life and he left.

"Huh? Mikey-kun left?" Hanagaki asked, coming out with a bag of chips. Sendo's bag of chips. "Already?"

Sendo stared at Hanagaki, and didn't know what to say. He shrugged back.

"Yeah, he said to make sure you didn't get diabetes from eating all my snacks."

"Mikey-kun would never!" he gasped back, clutching the bag of chips to his chest like it was precious to him.

Sendo laughed, and Mikey was forgotten as they climbed up the stairs to pretend to do their homework together until the early morning light.

–

Sendo stared at the paper in front of him, and then sighed. Right as his thoughts were deepening, a pair of arms slid over his shoulders and there was a loud, “BOO!” right next to his ear.

“Gah!” he gasped, shocked and surprised, and rolled his eyes when he heard Hanagaki’s loud laughter by his ears. He stopped failing and focused on shoving his friend off. “Get off!” he shouted, but the smile was stretching his lips even without his knowledge. His face burned at the thought that he was caught so off-guard, and how quick he was to forgive his asshole of a friend.

Under the amber lights of a setting sun, he didn't think that it was noticeable. 

Hanagaki, meanwhile, was laughing so hard he was bent over at the waist, and leaning against Sendo’s desk. His arms came to cradle over his stomach, and he laughed and laughed and laughed.

“It’s not that funny!”

“Oh yeah, it was,” Hangaki wheezed, and Sendo kicked his thigh.

“Get over yourself,” he said, shoving his hands into his pocket.

“I got you so good, Akkun!” he yelled back, but the laughter was dying down and Sendo scowled back.

“Yeah, yeah ha-ha.”

“Don’t be such a sourpuss,” Hanagaki said, and then looked at his desk, “What were you looking at anyways? Porn?”

“No, I’m not Makoto,” he replied back flippantly. He looked back at the desk and came closer. He wasn’t ashamed or anything, it was just a big thing that he had to figure out. The future was something he didn't want to think about. He could only imagine what a world without the color of blue was like. “The stupid career planning.”

“Oh,” Hanagaki stared at it, and tilted his head to the side as he looked back at his friend's face, “I thought you were going to be a beautician.”

“I want to,” Sendo replied back with a nod.

“And I’m going to be your first customer.”

This guy. 

Sendo rolled his eyes, and gave a small smile, “God help me if you’re not.”

Hanagaki grinned at him like there were no problems, and Sendo was a little jealous of how simple-minded he could be. None of the problems he had were actually taken care of, but Hanagaki's smile was enough to shove his worries off his shoulders.

"And give me a discount, too!"

"Now you're pushing it."

If Hanagaki was stupid, then Sendo wondered what that made him.

–

“…Hina once told me,” Hanagaki said, voice quiet but it gathered Sendo’s attention in less than a second, “that these are the best moments.”

Sendo thought about Hanagaki’s ex, how Hanagaki said they broke up but never gave an explanation, how certain Sendo was that he would have been invited to their wedding, that he would have watched Hanagaki's beautiful future with a True Love, that he would have to see who Hanagaki's Best Man really was, and now how to deal with a suffocating amount of hope. 

He kept it to himself and he nodded at his long-time friend. It was easy, now that he had a lot of practice.

“Yeah?” he prompted.

“That these moments are the best. The moments where we aren’t in a rush, and we can just spend these minutes together.”

And Sendo understood. He knew it really well. It sounded like something Hina would say. His eyes caught Hanagaki’s side profile, the way he looked as he made his way forward. The curve of his cheeks and down to his eyelashes. The faint bruise lining his jawline and his ears, and Sendo could close his eyes and remember it all the same. On the road they walked on almost every day, Sendo still found his eyes drawn to the same things it always did.

The blue of Hanagaki's eyes made the sky look a little more dull.

“Getting poetic here, huh?” he teased, a smile on his face. "You hit your head?"

“Whu-” Hangaki's face flushed scarlet. “I’m just saying!”

Sendo laughed, but it sobered up quickly. “It’s precious to me, too,” he admitted, feeling as though he could finally come clean about something that he locked up deep within himself. He looked forward and knew he would treasure this moment, too. As much as he treasured it, it would hurt him. 

But that was okay. If it hurt as much as it was precious, then Sendo knew a lifetime pain in the ass named Hanagaki Takemichi. That, at the very least, would be his.

“All our moments are.”

Pausing, he looked over at his friend, surprised but also not surprised to see how his eyes were welling up. He laughed again, charmed by his tender-hearted friend. What was he going to do with him?

“Crying again?” he asked, but he knew.

Hanagaki didn’t know, probably, and that’s why he was crying, but that was okay, too.

“I’m not crying,” Hanagaki sniffled loudly, rubbed his eyes raw, and Sendo laughed.

“Crybaby hero,” he said, trying to roll everything he felt into a nickname that he would say he grew out of one day.

Not yet, he supposed.

“I said, I’m not crying!”

Please, not yet.