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Porsche is exhausted. He is so damn tired. The last few days have been Hell. He keeps replaying that night over and over again in his mind.
He couldn’t believe this was finally happening. They had been dancing around each other for ages, but once he remembered their kiss on the pier he knew it wasn’t one sided. He had been so scared under the influence of the drugs, that only when he felt Kinn’s hands on him, checking if he was okay, did he feel safe. And of course, he couldn’t help but tease him about his attraction for him. Sure the drugs made it easier, less scary to admit it out loud. Kinn looked so good under the golden light of the candles...
So he doesn’t regret it, but he thought it meant something different. He can’t even stand to look at Kinn at the moment. It hurts too much. He didn’t even made the conscious choice to visit khun Korn, but he’s glad they talked. He really needs the time off, and he knows the choice he will make. There’s no choice really. He knows he’s not welcome anymore, so why bother staying.
He’s lost in his thoughts, hoping the walk will help calm his mind before he sees Porchay. Sadly, this means he doesn’t hear the van stopping behind him and the sound of booted steps approaching him before everything turns black and he’s lifted off the ground and brutally thrown inside the vehicle.
* * * *
20:03
Link received
I’m sure you’ll like this...
Kinn picks up his phone and drops it as soon as he opens the link.
“Khun Kinn? Everything alright?” asks Big in worry.
“Sir?”, he repeats when Kinn remains silent and paralyzed. “Sir!” he grabs his shoulder, which seems to bring him out of his stupor.
“Get Arm”
“What-”
“Go!” he yells before picking up his phone from the floor. He fights the urge to fall to his knees in despair.
Porsche...
The link was a livestream to what seems to be a warehouse, Porsche lying on the ground unconscious. At least he hopes he’s unconscious... No, he can’t allow himself to think like that. Porsche is alive. He has to be. And he will rescue him.
“Khun Kinn?” Arm says with a vow.
Kinn shoves the phone to the bodyguard’s chest with more force than he intended.
“Find him. Get everyone that’s available and plan a rescue mission”
“Is that...”
“Now, Arm!” he yells fighting back the tears. He can’t break down in front of his people. “Let me know as soon as you find anything. And get the stream to my laptop”
“Sir...”
He raises an eyebrow, daring him to question his orders.
“Yes, sir”
With that he turns and heads to his room, hoping with all his might that he can hold up until he gets to his room.
Once the door closes behind him he falls to his knees and lets the tears run freely down his face. He can’t erase the image of Porsche lying on that filthy floor, unmoving.
“Fuck!”
He doesn’t even know how they got Porsche. He was supposed to be safe with him. How the fuck did they get him? Do we actually have a mole in our ranks?
He calms down enough to stop crying and call Big.
“How the fuck did they get him? How did they get into the compound without anyone noticing?”
“Um... He wasn’t... He...”
“Speak clearly”
“Porsche was... he was heading home”
“What?”
“Sir, your father... he gave him the week off”
“What?!”
“We got the CCTV footage. They got him while he was walking home”
Why the fuck was he walking home?
“Have we found out who they are?”
“We suspect one of the drug lords. The livestream led us to one of their main warehouses. We are working on the blueprints”
“Good. Keep me updated”, he orders before hanging up and opening the livestream on his laptop.
I’m coming, Porsche. Hold on for me.
* * * *
Two days. At least he thinks it’s been two days. It’s hard to keep track of time, what with all the torture. He doesn’t even know who these guys are, but he knows they are enemies of the main family. Seeing how hard they are trying to get him to reveal information about the family.
“Fuck you”, he says as he spits in the face of his torturer.
He’s yanked to his feet by his hair and he hisses in pain as his injured leg is forced to hold his weight. They broke it their first day to make sure he couldn’t escape. They also broke his left arm for good measure.
“This will all be easier for everyone if you cooperate. We know you are head bodyguard of the head of the main family. You know his weaknesses. Give us an opening to get him and we’ll let you go”
“Fuck. You.”
He receives a kick on the stomach for that and another man steps forward to take over.
“I would talk if I were you. I don’t think you would want to be damaged beyond repair when we return you to your boyfriend”
Porsche scoffs in frustration.
“That’s what all this is about? Big mistake. He doesn’t care about me”
“Our sources say otherwise”
“Well, your sources are wrong”
The men look at each other with doubt.
“I’m nothing to him. I’m useless to you. You should just kill me” he says brokenly.
“Now, that would be too easy”, says the guy with a dark grin, “we are just getting started. Besides, we know you’re lying”
The man makes a gesture to someone outside the cell and a tablet appears in his hand. After a few seconds, he turns it towards Porsche to show him security footage from the pier. The image shows Kinn and Porsche the night they kissed. They are sitting close together, leaning towards each other and opening up about their doubts and fears.
Porsche can’t stop the tears that fall down his cheeks as he turns his face away, but a hand grabs him forcefully by the chin and makes him look at the video. He can see Kinn nervously leaning closer until their lips touch, how he waits a second to make sure Porsche has time to pull away, and finally kissing him deeper as Porsche shifts his head to kiss him back.
“See? I would say he cares about you”
Porsche lets out a quiet sob and closes his eyes.
“He doesn’t. He doesn’t care. He won’t come. And he won’t give you what you want. You’re losing your time”
“We’ll see about that”
* * * *
Kinn can’t turn his eyes from the screen. Can’t turn his eyes from Porsche. His sweet Porsche suffering incredible pain because of him. His screams echo in his ears and he doesn’t think he will ever stop hearing them. They will torment him every day of his life.
And his sobs... Does he really think he will do nothing to get him back? How can he think that? Has he fucked up so badly? Fuck...
“Khun Kinn? Everything is ready. We have his location, the blueprints and the men are in position”
“Let’s go”
I’m coming, Porsche. Hold on just a little bit longer. I’m coming for you.
The ride takes 40 eternal minutes in which Kinn tries to focus on Arm’s plan to rescue Porsche, but he can't stop worrying about being too late. That the kidnappers somehow were alerted of their plan and have chosen to get rid of Porsche. What if he gets there and all he finds is his body lying on the dirty floor of that fucking warehouse? They might as well kill him. He doesn’t think he can survive losing Porsche. Not like this...
“Khun Kinn, we are here?”
He takes a deep breath, checks his gun and nods.
“Come on”
They break apart in teams to cover more ground and go into the building.
They manage to neutralize their enemies quietly at first, but when they find one of the men who hurt Porsche he sees red and attacks him, punch after punch until his face is just a bloody mess. He shots him in the head for good measure.
Some of the men try to surrender, as if he would let any of them survive after what they’ve done. No, they are lucky he doesn’t have the time to prolong their pain.
They move downstairs killing anyone they meet in their way and Arm shows him the map on his tablet, pointing to a door to the left.
Porsche.
He finds the keys attached to one of the guards belt and opens the door with trembling hands.
For a second, he’s paralyzed at the door. Porsche is lying on the floor, covered in blood and he’s not moving. He feels like he could vomit, but he needs to make sure Porsche isn’t... he needs to make sure that he’s okay.
“Porsche...”
“Ungh...”
Hearing his quiet groan he rushes forward.
“Porsche!” he shouts as he rans to kneel by his side and gather him in his arms.
Porsche hisses in pain but a second later sighs in relief.
“Kinn...” he whispers, eyes filled with tears, “It feels so real...”
“I’m here, Porsche, I’m here. I got you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
“My Kinn...”, he barely whispers, a hand lifting to try and touch Kinn’s cheek, only to stop midway before everything turns black.
* * * *
He wakes up in a bed he doesn’t recognize, covered in bandages and casts in his arm and leg. Everything hurts, every breath feeling like needles in his chest. He can feel a pressure on his hand and hip, so he slowly and painfully turns his head to the right, opening his eyes enough to see a mop of black hair resting on his hip. He lets out a groan as he tries to free his hand from the grip that’s holding it, waking up the person resting against him.
“Porsche? Porsche! You’re awake”
Porsche just lays there, eyes closed, pain written all over his face.
“How- How are you feeling?”
“Ungh…”
Kinn offers him a glass of water with a straw, which Porsche accepts painfully.
“Better?”
Porsche nods slowly. He tries to speak again.
“What-”, he winces and tries again. “What happened?” he whispers this time.
“You were- you were kidnapped”
Suddenly, it all comes back to him and he remembers a warehouse and some morons trying to use him to get to Kinn. Torture. So much torture. He can’t stop the tears that gather in his eyes so he tries to turn into himself, groaning in pain and heavily breathing from the effort.
“Don’t move. You’ll hurt yourself. You need to rest”
He hums as he tries to relax and lay still.
After a while, Kinn softly takes his hand in his again and sighs deeply.
“Porsche…”, he feels Porsche tense and continues, “I’m so sorry”
Porsche tries to take his hand away as the tears finally fall down his face, but Kinn stops him and interlaces their fingers.
“I never meant to hurt you…”
Porsche scoffs softly.
“I- I mean it. I know I did hurt you, but I- I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do anything you want. Anything”
“Explain” Porsche says quietly.
Kinn looks at him for a moment, thinking about it and Porsche raises an eyebrow as if daring him not to answer his question.
“I- I felt so guilty when I woke up after we… I shouldn’t have… I didn’t know if you regretted what happened and then my father… he knew what happened between us and he said I couldn’t show favoritism, that I would look weak, that our enemies would use it, use you against me, that I should make an example out of you. I let him convince me. I never thought... I hated doing that you. I’m so sorry.”
Porsche tries to get his hand back again and this time Kinn allows him. He brings it to his face and hides his face in it, seeing as it’s the only part of his body he can move without pain.
He remembers the almost two hours he spent crawling on the floor with his hands tied behind his back. Kinn appearing and instead of being his salvation, telling him that it was his order that brought him to that predicament. His hope turning into despair as he's left alone with the two people who hate him the most in the compound. The pressure in his chest is starting to feel too strong, so much that it makes it harder to breath.
“Porsche, please, say something”
“Hurts”, he mumbles reaching for Kinn's hand.
“I know, I hurt you. I’m-”
“No, it hurts. Kinn, it hurts!”, he says panicking and tightening his hold on Kinn’s hand.
“Nurse! Nurse, please!”
A nurse comes running and immediately checks Porsche’s vitals.
“Sir, I need you to calm down. Slow your breathing. You have broken ribs, you need to slow your breathing”
“I- I can’t. It hurts. So much... Agh... Please, please, make it stop”, he’s sobbing, his grip on Kinn’s hand never loosening. “Ah, Kinn, please”
Kinn feels his eyes starting to tear up and runs a hand through Porsche’s hair.
“I’m here. I’m right here. Just breath, baby. Breathe. Porsche...”
The nurse is just about to inject some medicine into the IV when she’s stopped by hand on her wrist.
“What is that?”
“Painkillers. We need him to calm down so he doesn’t hurt himself”
Kinn let’s go of her wrist and brings his hand back to Porsche’s hair.
Immediately Porsche starts to relax until his eyes close and his breathing slows down.
“Will he... Will he be alright?”
“He’ll be alright. He just needs to rest and let his body heal”
“What happened now?”
“He has many broken ribs. He needs to take it slow so they heal. I assume he got worked up and started to breathe fast, which caused his lungs to expand more and pressed again his broken ribs. I need you to keep him relaxed until they heal”
“I- I will. Thank you”
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for. If I may... he’ll be out for a few hours, you should get some rest”
“Thank you, nurse. I’ll try”
Once she left, he cupped Porsche’s cheek in his hand and leaned their foreheads together.
“I’m so sorry, Porsche”. His tears start falling down onto Porsche’s face and he tries to wipe them, but more keep falling. “I keep hurting you... I don’t know what to do”
He finally pulls back and, after wiping his and Porsche’s face of his tears, lays his head back on his hip while holding his hand and tries to sleep.
* * * *
Kinn wakes up a few hours later when someone coughs behind him. He turns to see who disturbed them and he sees his father at the door. He sighs and slowly stands up, never letting go of Porsche’s hand.
“Pa”
“Kinn”
They stare at each other for what feels like hours, neither of them wanting to be the one to break first. Finally, it’s Korn who decides that’s enough.
“Kinn, I think it’s time to come home”
“I don’t think so, pa”
“Son...”
“This is your fault you know? I will never forgive myself for listening to you. For letting you convince me that I had to punish him” he scoffs “you did it on purpose, didn’t you?”
“I just wanted to protect you”
“Protect me from what? Him? He would never hurt me”
“Kinn”
“He’s not Tawan”
“You don’t know-”
“He wouldn’t. He’s not like that”
“Kinn...”
“I’ll let you know when I’m ready to go back”, he says trying to stop his voice from trembling. This is the first time he’s stood up to his father and doesn’t know how he will react.
“Very well, son. I’ll take over in the meanwhile”, Korn agrees before turning around and leaving Kinn standing there wondering what has just happened.
“Hmm”, he hears behind him.
He turns and sees Porsche starting to wake up. He squeezes his hand and sits back down.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Like shit”
“I’m sorry, we should have waited to talk about what happened. I didn’t think...”
“I asked”
“Still, we’ll wait until you’re better”
“It’s that an order?”
“It’s a request?” he says smiling softly, “I’m hoping you agree. I- was really scared”
“Me too”, Porsche admits in a whisper. “What happened?”
“The nurse said that you broke- that you have broken ribs, you need to breathe calmly so your lungs don’t push against them”
“Hm”
They stay quiet for a while, the silence getting more uncomfortable as time goes by. Kinn finally can’t take it anymore and stands up.
“I’ll- I’ll leave you to rest, then. I’ll be outside if you need me”
“Don’t-” Porsche starts to say in panic, “I don’t want to be alone. Please, don’t leave me”
“I can call your brother if you want”
“He knows I’m here?!”
His breathing starts to get harsh and Kinn immediately takes hold of his hand and runs his fingers up and down his arm to calm him down.
“Sh, he doesn’t know. Calm down. It’s okay. He’s okay. I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to see him. It’s your choice”
“Don’t tell him. I don’t want him to see me like this”
“Okay. I’ll stay, then. As long as you want me to”
Porsche squeezes his hand in thanks and closes his eyes.
* * * *
Later, Porsche is woken up by a knock at the door.
“Come in!”
“Porsche!”
Pete comes in running and stops just as he’s about to hug him in fear of hurting him.
“Hi, Pete”
“Don’t ever scare me like that!”
“I’m fine… or I’ll be fine once I heal”
“I haven’t slept for like a week because of you, asshole”
“Wait, a week? How long have I been out?”
“4 days. You lost a lot of blood”
Porsche opens his eyes in shock and gasps, instantly regretting it when he feels a sharp pain in his chest.
“Everyone’s been waiting for you to wake up. The house had a weird vibe without you. It was chaos if I tell you the truth, with both of you gone”
Kinn shakes his head to stop him from talking but it’s too late.
“Why weren’t you at the compound?”
“I-”
“He was here! No one could take him away from you”
“Pete, that’s enough”
Pete freezes and realizes that’s his boss in front of him.
“Apologies, khun Kinn”
There’s a tense silence in the room and Pete decides to leave before it gets weirder.
“I’ll go tell everyone that you’re awake”
Once they are alone again Porsche sighs and turns his head to look at Kinn.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
Porsche just stares at him and waits for him to answer.
“I... I was terrified. I had been going mad since you went missing and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, or work. I needed to see that you were okay, that you were alive”
Porsche feels his heart clench in his chest. He doesn’t know how to feel. He was convinced Kinn didn’t care, that he regretted what had happened. But then, why would he stay with him all this time? Why rescue him? And he said he was sorry...
His eyes start to tear up and he tries to calm his breathing, remembering how much it hurt the last time he got worked up.
Kinn notices and tries to soothe him running his hand up and down his arm.
“We’ll talk about it later. Right now, you need to focus on healing”
“Yeah, okay” he says flinching as the pain in his chest dies down. “But we will talk about it”
“I promise”, agrees Kinn lifting his hand to run his fingers through Porsche’s hair.
Porsche closes his eyes and they stay like that for a while, a comfortable silence falling around them. Eventually, Kinn starts to shift uncomfortably in the chair and trying to stretch his neck and back. Apparently sitting in a chair for 4 days isn’t so good for your body, who would have thought?
Porsche opens one eye to look at Kinn and scoffs.
“Come here, moron”, he says trying to move to the side to leave him space.
“What?”
“Come up here, lay with me”
“I’m fine, you don’t need t-”
“Kinn, lay with me. If you’ve been here all this time, your body needs to rest”
“Really, I don’t need-”
“Hold me?”, asks Porsche quietly with his big brown eyes.
That seems to do it for Kinn so he stands up and helps Porsche move so they both fit. As soon as his back is resting against the headboard, Porsche moves closer and lays his head on his chest, his arm resting over his stomach and taking hold of Kinn’s fingers.
“See? So much better”
* * * *
It’s been 5 days since he woke up, 9 since he was rescued, 11 since he was kidnapped and he feels restless. It’s been hard staying still in a bed, especially since his ribs don’t hurt as much and his bruises and cuts have been healing nicely.
Kinn’s presence at his side has been a great distraction. Seeing as they couldn’t talk about what happened or any of their issues, they chose to get to know each other better. They talked about their childhoods, dreams, embarrassing moments, friends... They now know more about each other than any other person and it feels so good. But Porsche needs to talk about the elephant in the room, he can’t wait any longer.
They are both sitting on his bed, his casted leg resting over Kinn’s so they fit better on the small bed and if they get to enjoy being close to one another no one has to know. They have finished eating lunch and he feels this is a good moment to approach the subject.
“Kinn?”
“Hm?”
“I’m ready”
“Ready for what?”
“My ribs don’t hurt anymore and the nurse said that they’re healing great”
“Porsche...”
Porsche simply raises an eyebrow and Kinn sighs.
“Are you sure?”
“I need this”
“Okay”, Kinn says as he interlaces their fingers together, needing to feel as close as possible through this difficult conversation.
They stay silent for a minute, neither of them knowing where to start.
“You said that your father told you to...”
“Yes. I talked to him the other day. I’m done listening to him. He said he was trying to protect me”
“Protect you? From me?”
“He sees... love as a weakness”
“Hm”, Porsche hums as he thinks about it.
“Why didn’t you tell me... that day, why did you leave?”
“I couldn’t... I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to get out, and your father offered”
“Why didn’t you take a car?”
Porsche glares at him and Kinn immediately explains.
“I’m not blaming you for being kidnapped. I just... You would have been safer in a car”
“They would have taken me anywhere, Kinn. They had a plan and nothing was gonna change it”
“I saw... They sent me... They sent me a livestream of what they were doing to you”
Porsche tenses next to him and tries to pull away from where they are touching.
“I saw... Did you really think I didn’t care? That I wouldn’t come for you?”
“What did you expect? I woke up not knowing what had happened and when I turned and saw you lying next to me, it all came back to me, but you tensed and pulled away as if in disgust. I thought you just needed time, but when I got to the compound, all I got was a fucking punishment and you acting like it pained you to look at me. They punished me for hours, you know? I had burns all over my chest and my shoulders were hurting from being bent for so long. I felt so... used and hollow. You kept pushing me away and then I saw you with one of your boys and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to leave”
“I- Fuck. Porsche. I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen”
“Yeah… you made it perfectly clear”
“No. I meant… I never meant to hurt. For you to suffer because of me. But I don’t… I don’t regret what happened that night, I just… I wish it was under different circumstances”
“Then why… nevermind”
Kinn puts two fingers under his chin to turn his face until he’s looking at him.
“That morning… I felt guilty. That’s why I pulled away. I didn’t know how you felt. And I... I felt like I had taken advantage of you”
“You could have just talked to me…”
“I should have. I wish I had. Tell me that I can fix this”
“I don’t know, Kinn...”
“Can I say something, then?”
“I-”
“Just in case you choose to finally leave, I want you to know that one of my biggest regrets in life is how much I’ve hurt you. I thought that if I pushed you away we could go back to how it was before. But I don’t want that anymore. I thought that I could get over you and keep it professional, but now I know that’s not possible. I- When I opened the video and I saw you laying unmoving on the floor... I felt a part of me die. I thought I would never see you again. Hear your laugh, your teasing jokes. I would have gladly given myself up just to know that you were safe. You’ll always be a good memory in my mind and in my heart”
“Kinn...”
“I mean it. I would do anything for you”
“So you would let me go?”
“I-”, Kinn sighs and lets go of Porsche’s hand and moves his leg from under Porsche’s casted one. “As much as it would hurt me, I would let you go. I don’t want to trap you”
Porsche smiles and grabs his hand again, moving so their legs remain interlaced.
“Good, but don’t let me go now. I’ll let you know if I ever want to leave”
“Do you... You know that I care about you, right?”
Porsche rolls his eyes and kisses his cheek.
“Yes, Kinn. I know now”
“I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you. You should be cherished and worshipped. You deserve only good things to happen to you. And I’m so sorry that I failed you like this. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you”
“Just, talk to me next time”
* * * *
Porsche wakes up to quiet voices whispering in the room, fingers running through his hair and a hand caressing his arm.
“I don’t care. I’m done listening to him”
“Are you sure? Have you thought this through?”
“I should have never have listened to him in the first place. I will never forgive myself for what I did”, he says tightening his hold on Porsche.
There’s a pause for a minute.
“I’m glad you found each other. He’s good for you. You are good for each other”
Before Kinn can protest the voice continues.
“You are good for him. Despite your mistakes. I don’t think anyone has cared for him and put him first since his parents. He’s always the one taking care of people. But you like taking care of him. And I’m sure you’ll do a great job in the future. Just... talk to him. When things get hard and you have doubts, talk to him. That’s how you make this work”
“He deserves to be taken care of”, says Kinn with a sad smile on his face.
“I’m glad to see my brother back. I hated your icy persona. That asshole Tawan really deserved everything he got. Destroying my little brother’s heart like that… I wish I could have shot him myself. You deserve to have someone who cares about you and loves you”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get emotional on me now” he says with a smile.
“I’ll leave that to you lovebirds”, says the voice he now recognizes as Tankhun laughing, “I’ll came back tomorrow to see how he’s doing”
“Thank you, khun”
Tankhun leaves and Porsche burrows his face in the shoulder underneath him.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been run by a bus”
“I’ll ask the nurse for painkillers”
“Hm”
Porsche draws shapes on Kinn’s hand as he gathers the courage to ask.
“Who’s Tawan?”
He feels Kinn tense behind him and instantly regrets asking.
“Nevermind”
Kinn sighs.
“No, it’s fine. I- I trust you”
Porsche squeezes his hand.
“It’s just… I’ve never told anyone. He was… he was my boyfriend a few years ago. My first boyfriend. And I… I thought he loved me too. We were together for a few months and I thought everything was perfect. I felt so happy... but he just wanted to get close so he could sell our information. When I found out... it broke my heart. I was so filled with rage that I shot him. I could never… I could never trust anyone after that. Not until… you”
Porsche tries to turn in his arms, but his leg gets stuck and he falls back in pain with a grunt.
“Stop it. You’ll hurt yourself”
He manages to turn his upper body enough to cup Kinn’s cheek with his hand and rest their foreheads together.
“I’m sorry he hurt you. You didn’t deserve that”
“It’s okay”
“It’s not”
“I’m okay now”
Porsche rubs their noses together, leaving a small kiss as he makes his way to his cheek, his jaw, to finally reach his lips.
“You know... I didn’t... I had made my peace with keeping my distance from everyone. I thought that if I avoided kissing the men I... I thought that I was protecting myself. But then you came into my life and I couldn’t stop the feelings, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t help but fall for you. You changed my life”
“Kinn...”
“I didn’t know how much I missed feeling close to others. But now I am closer to my bodyguards and my brother. You have no idea how many therapists he’s seen and not one of them could help, but in just two weeks you managed to help him overcome his fears. So thank you”
“I’m glad to be of service”, he says with a smile and teary eyes.
Kinn smiles back and they lie down together, Porsche’s head on his chest as he runs his fingers through his hair.
“Just so you know, you changed my life too”
Kinn opens his mouth to say something but is stopped by Porsche’s hand on his mouth.
“Yeah, I know. It’s obvious. But ever since I started working for you, I haven’t needed to worry about Porchay being taken care of, debt collectors and working myself to the bone until I was just an empty version of myself. I could finally be myself. And I know that I drive you mad, but for the first time in years I could just enjoy myself. You made me feel alive for the first time in years”
Kinn tightens his arms around Porsche’s waist and lays a small kiss on the top of his head.
“I might have exaggerated my annoyance”, he laughs quietly, “truth is, I love how you challenge me, at everything. No one ever dares to stand up to me, but you just say what’s in your mind”
“Good, because I’m not gonna stop” he laughs, kissing his chest and resting his head back down.
* * * *
It isn’t easy after that. The first night back in the compound, Porsche wakes up screaming and thrashing around, but Kinn is there to calm him down and reassure him that everything is fine. Other nights it’s Kinn’s turn to wake up shaking from a nightmare, and Porsche holds him close until he relaxes.
It takes months for Porsche to heal. He gets restless the first few days when he can’t do anything by himself, but Kinn is happy to do everything for him. One day it gets especially hard for Porsche and he lashes out on Kinn, who takes it in silence, only for Porsche to hold his face in his hands and beg him to never let him treat him like that again.
They learn what it means to be out as a couple for everyone to know. It would be hard to go back to a secret after everyone saw Kinn’s reaction to losing Porsche. Everyone in their team appears to be fine with them being an item, even Big and Ken, who seemed to have it in for Porsche before the kidnapping.
Kinn stops listening to his father and follows his instincts, and when it gets hard, he always has Porsche there to talk things through and give his opinions. Of course, his father didn’t take it well, but there was not much he could do once Kinn made it clear that he would do things his way or not at all. One of the biggest changes was his relationship with Vegas. Porsche managed to convince him once he brought up the possibility of his father and his uncle putting them against each other so they could control them. He hadn’t realized how much he missed his cousin until now.