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Nagakura will be mad when he finds out about this . Was Kadokura first thought when he opened his eyes late in the morning.
He and Kirawus were sent on an assignment that the old man—not in those exact words—still implied that even they couldn’t screw it up. It was simple, there were some rumors in the town of some skins, so they had to stay on this izakaya and gather information on the veracity of the skin being there and where it could be.
It was an easy one. Just sit at the Izakaya, get some drinks to not stand out too much with some food, and pay attention to the crowd around them.
He just didn’t expect the alcohol to make him a bit nervous.
Maybe he shouldn’t have accepted the assignment; the whole Lake Akan situation happened two weeks ago, and he still has nightmares about the poison. He also still doesn’t understand how he survived it. The poison was supposed to be lethal; he was supposed to die that day.
Die for Hijikata’s cause and leave the rest to the others.
But suddenly he felt better, and the last thing on his mind just before that still feels vivid.
" I wish I had more time with him. "
Him being no other than the man that was sitting right in front of him. Kirawus was currently looking around while eating some of the snacks that they got to blend with the customers, completely oblivious to his current inner turmoil. Not that there was a way for the other man to find out about it; he had kept quiet about it and was planning to keep it that way for the rest of his life.
There was no reason to bother Kirawus with such a silly thought that crossed his mind at what he assumed was his last moment; it was just a stray thought, completely unimportant, totally uninteresting, just some silly idea that crossed his brain that had no importance. He just thought that because Kirawus was the person he was sent on that mission with.
Yes, it was just that.
There was no other reason why his biggest regret was not spending more time with Kirawus and not something like lamenting failing Hijikata, or the failure of his marriage, or not being there for his daughter. It was just because he shared the mission with the other man that he was worried about him.
Waking up wanting to kiss the other man was also completely inconsequential.
The fact that he had been staring at Kirawus lips for the past ten minutes was also unimportant.
He really needs to focus on his surroundings, do the mission Nagakura assigned them, go back to base, go back to playing games and wait around.
It would be great if he could focus on the izakaya instead of staring at the other man. He was becoming hyper-aware of any movement Kirawus made whenever he blinked, his sharp eyes looking around, and the way he kept taking some notes here and there when keeping an eye on something or someone. The way the crow's feet besides his eyes showed when he closed them really complimented his face. Whenever he ate a snack or took a sip of his beer, the way his Adam’s apple moved when the liquid went down his throat…
Noticing where he had been staring, he quickly looked up, his eyes passing by the other man's slightly wet lips before stopping on his eyes that were looking straight at him, head slightly tilted to the side, as if in wonder.
"Something on your mind?" Kirawus asked, and Kadokura couldn't help but follow the movement of his lips as if he were in a trance. Has someone told Kiwarus that his lips are really well shaped? Someone should have at some point; they really compliment his face; there is no way no one noticed before. Kirawus kept talking, but he couldn’t hear what the other man was saying as he was too focused on his lips.
Again.
He needs to look away, close his eyes and stop, why do his eyes keep going back to them? It was not like he wanted a taste. That would be ridiculous; why would he want to anyway? It is not like he considered the other man one of the most attractive people he had ever encountered…
…Oh…
"Kadokura?" Kirawus asked, leaning in closer over the table, and all Kadokura could think was that if he leaned closer, they…
"You have really kissable lips; I would like to give them a try," he blurted out loud. Kirawus looks at him, head slightly tilted to the side, before his eyes open wide, staring at him, making him realize what he just told the other man, and he quickly scrambles to apologize, but before he could get a word out, Kirawus used the table as leverage to get closer…
…and suddenly Kirawus lips were against his….
It took him a moment to realize what was happening, and before he was able to do anything, Kirawus was pulling away, smiling at him.
"Like that?" He asked, still leaning over the table. All he could do was just stare at the other man.
Did that just really happen?
"I think?" That was what came from his mouth...
"You think?" Kirawus stared at him, confused.
"I mean, I think that was what I wanted. Maybe? My head has been going here and there, and I just couldn't stop staring and thinking about…" He stopped himself. What was he supposed to say to the other man? 'I may find you attractive?' He is not sure how that would turn out, Kirawus just kissed him, but maybe it was just because of the alcohol, and once that leaves his body, Kirawus will regret his own actions, and Kadokura will feel like even more of a fool than he feels right now.
"About what?" Kiwarus’s deep voice brought him back from his thinking.
"You…" is all he can say. Kirawus leans even closer; his whole body is over the table.
"You could just have said it instead of staring," he smiled. "I was starting to think you wanted to stare at my butthole."
"I…"
"I’m not against it." Kirawus commented, "But I don't think the people at the izakaya would like to see it."
"I wouldn't do it in front of others." He grumbles, looking around to see if someone has heard that part of the conversation. He doesn’t want to be confused for a pervert.
Wasn't it your job to do it where other guards were?"
"That is completely different, and you know it." He defended himself; his job had nothing to do with the current situation.
"So, you want to stare at my butt, but not like that?"
"I mean…" He scratched his cheek, feeling his face heat up more and more. Is it not something I wouldn't mind… If you don't have a problem with it."
"We are pass me having a problem with this Kadokura." He said this, looking at his lips.
"I guess we are." There was an awkward silence while Kirawus went back to his seat. Kadokura was considering asking for another drink, but before he could, the other man called out to get more drinks on the table.
"You look like you need some," Kirawus said, smiling, making his face feel hot once again.
He wished that stopped happening; it was becoming embarrassing.
They waited in silence for the drinks to arrive. Kadokura tried to use the time to bring back even a bit of composure to himself, but it didn't seem possible. The events that just transpired keep playing on his mind repeatedly, trying to make sense of how they arrived at that kiss. It was still hard to believe Kirawus was so relaxed about the whole thing; he wasn't expecting the other man to feel the same, or at least something similar, to what he was feeling.
If he was sincere with himself, he assumed Kirawus was in a different league. The other man seemed capable of doing stuff and was more motivated to actually accomplish a task; he also had a lot of useful knowledge for the hunt they were in and a real reason to be involved, not like him, who was here just for Hijikata.
Kirawus was here looking for a way to help his people in a moment of crisis. There was no reason why he would even pay attention to him outside of being put on the same assignment by old man Nagakura.
This outcome was just too unexpected for him to process it.
"What is on your mind?" Kirawus asked, and looking at him, there seemed to be actual worry on his face. Does he care, or does he regret what happened a few minutes ago?
"Just thinking about all this." He said trying to sound more relaxed than he felt.
"Do you regret it?" The other man asked, his eyes now looking around the room, as if he were avoiding him. Kadokura was stunned for a moment, not expecting his own worries to be thrown at himself.
"No, no, no." He quickly answered. "I mean, I'm fine with it if you are too." He said awkwardly, feeling like a fool the second the words left his mouth, which was a bit diminished when Kirawus laughed.
"I’m fine with it." He smiled at him, probably the more sincere smile that the other man had given him since they knew each other. "I wouldn't have done that in such a public place if I wasn’t."
"You mean you don't lie on top of tables for other people?" He tried to joke, feeling like a fool immediately.
"That is just preserved for awkward old men that stare at me for hours while looking like they are dying inside."
"Hey!" He protests, not really feeling that offended by what Kirawus responded with a laugh. "You are really an annoying man, you knew that?"
"No one told me that before," he shrugged, "but you must have found it charming if you couldn’t keep your eyes from me."
"You aren't going to forget about that, aren’t you?"
"Someone needs to remind you of who you are, butthole inspector." He replied, amused, over a new beer that was just brought to them.
"I want to take back the non-regret; now I really regret this whole situation." He crossed his arms, looking annoyed, in part at the other man and in part at himself for finding this a bit charming.
"I know you don’t mean it, Kadokura."
"What makes you say that?"
"You are still blushing," he points out.
"And what about it? So, are you? We are drunk." He defends himself.
"It is not the same, and you know it." He put down his beer. "It's a good look on you. It makes me want to see more of it."
Those words make Kadokura's face feel even more hot.
"What are you saying?!" He has a hard time keeping his voice down. "You can just say that out of nowhere!"
"Why not? There is nothing stopping me." Kirawus puts his face on his propped arm. "I really want to see if your whole body flushes the same as your face. Maybe find out if you are sensitive." Kadokura stares at him. If he keeps blushing like this, his face will probably stay this warm for the rest of his life.
"You have no shame when you are drunk, don’t you?" He finally asks. Kirawus makes a thinking face for a moment.
"I had been told I'm more direct when drunk." He makes a face and then looks back at him. "Does that bother you?"
"No… it's just unexpected. I need to get used to those comments. Is not something I hear often." He said scratching his face. He had a hard time remembering anyone who flirted with him like this.
"Do you want me to stop?" Kiwarus asked, sitting straight and looking him in the eye. That also took Kadokura off guard. He wasn’t used to his feelings about the matter being taken into consideration.
"No." He finally said after a moment of silence. "Like I said, I'm just not used to it; I don't hate it. Just go a bit slow, at least at the start." A smile appeared on the other man’s face.
"I can do that." He leaned closer, putting his hand over Kadokura. "Just tell me whenever I'm going too far."
"I will." He said blushing even more if that were even possible.
"I will not stop calling you butthole inspector, you can't escape from that one," Kadokura sighed. He can’t win at everything.
Silence felt again over them, but this one was a lot more relaxed. Kadokura was still processing what had happened, but he felt calmer than he had in hours, even days. He wasn't expecting his feelings for the other man to be reciprocated. He wasn't expecting to have feelings for the other man at the start of the day, and now they were holding hands in an izakaya.
He guessed that even people like him can have some good luck from time to time.
He could take advantage of the good luck as much as he could.
"Hey." He called Kirawus; the other man looked at him with a smile still on his face, and Kadokura forced himself to keep his eyes on the other's. "So, do you want to go and check if I blush in other places?" He finally asked, feeling a bit of a fool again for asking, but the growing smile on the other’s face made those feelings reside. Just a bit.
"I would love it." Kirawus said, getting up, fingers still linked with Kadokura’s, helping him to get up so he didn't splash his face against the floor. They needed to pay for their drinks before going to a more private place. He is amazed he is not that nervous over the prospects of the night; it has been a long time after all.
He will think about it when he gets there. For now, he will enjoy the moment; there was nothing to worry about after all.