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Sergeant Kamari never fought for herself, they never had someone who tell her that they can and should fight for herself, they were ripped from her family at a very young age and raised as a soldier, as a Russian soldier. Eliminate Skye MacTavish and only have Elena Romaneva Barkova exist, but they never succeeded, they tried everything, nothing about her was real at that moment, they age? False, she wasn’t an adult or a teen, they were just a little kid who had seen what human beings were capable of at a young age, she wasn’t the daughter of General Barkov and his late wife. How could they be his kid if she didn't even own a room in the Russian’s mansion? No, she was the daughter of Scots, they were the penultimate of her family, and until the day they returned, her bed was always in the same position, with the same sheets that they had left that day.
But they could never doubt an order, no, she never did, not until they met Farah and Hadir, those two people gave her hope to get out of that hell, they stopped fighting for a country that wasn’t hers, for a father who wasn’t, and began to fight for they two new siblings and to have the dream of meeting her twin again, with their other half, she helped them send messages to people who could save them. Although at the time she was sending them, only one thing crossed their mind, her siblings, her parents. They were sending the messages to the British army, there were tensions between Russia and the United Kingdom, they would not take long to answer them, in the meantime as well she tried to send messages abroad, to the Liberation Forces, they did everything at night, everything at night, that's how she earned being called Kamari, Karim's moon.
Although of course, not everything could be calm, Barkov was suspicious, he knew, but he wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, he wanted to see if they would give up and stop fighting for something that would not serve them, in his eyes Skye would never stop being Elena and Farah would never be free, Urzikstan would never stop being a nest of terrorists in his eyes. But they didn't, out of thirty messages sent in a month, they intercepted fifteen, he had no choice but to interrogate them and get the truth out of them, first he went for the Scottish, he thought that breaking they would be easier, she was still young, he hadn't lived that long, but he had underestimated them, he didn’t take into consideration the MacTavish charm, they are a family of stubborn who fight for what they believe, and Skye never believed in the Russian cause, she believed in the cause of the Arab, she believed and believes in Farah Karim and would do everything in their power to help her.
She didn't say a word, they didn't say who Karim was, she didn't say who Kamari was, they didn't say where the messages went, she denied everything. But of course, you can't lie to someone who already knows the truth, they were locked up in solitary confinement for a few hours, with her face bruised and their muscles numb, before she was taken with the other prisoners, they were able to recover sensation in her body at the moment when Karim came in to rescue them. The moment Lieutenant John Price stepped into their lives to save them, they knew her efforts were worth it, they knew she had a chance to go back to their twin, to her family, but it didn't feel right. they hadn't looked at Price's face, she was only looking at Farah and Hadir, it wasn't because they didn't feel grateful, or that she was rude, no, of course not, it was because they didn't want to say something impulsive, say who she was, that the Russians had held them for four long years, but she didn’t want to abandon their siblings and cousins, at that point in her life they didn’t know anything other than fighting, unfortunately she didn’t know anything else about in their young years.
As the years passed, not fighting for herself didn’t change so much, instead, they dedicated her life to protecting their sister's cause, she hid from the Russians in plain sight, earning the nickname "the assassin of the moon", they attacked from night under her sister's orders, they took her body to extremes to be prepared for everything, to defend her siblings and cousins, even though they treated them like a little girl and denied them some nightly guard rounds, claiming that children have to sleep to grow up healthy. As the years went by, his conscience began to forget the faces of her family, they forget how her mother's voice sounded, how their father's eyes looked at her with paternal love, they forgot the faces of her older siblings, the sweet face of their baby brother. Did her parents have another child? have they forgotten about them? Could they have told her little brother about them? She didn't know it, and it was eating at their brain and heart. Farah saw this, observed how in front of the soldiers of the Liberation Forces they behaved normally, silent, but always ready to help in whatever was necessary, always with a smile following orders, she saw how she woke up from some nightmare, she could differentiate well when it was a memory, their crying and the fear in her eyes were different, in one there was a real fear, her way of breathing would be erratic, and whispered that they didn’t want forget. But when it was a memory, she didn't cry, but they looked everywhere, making sure she hadn't returned to that hell, of not going back with the man who separated them from her other half, with who promised to save her, but instead, condemned them.
As the years went by, she began to have a little habit, of hiding behind their brother Hadir when she felt that they were about to collapse, Alex was able to notice how the youngest of the siblings tried to hide behind the oldest, put her head on his shoulder and they grabbed his hand, he accepted it and comforted her, whispering to them in Arabic, not turning to look at her, it would be useless and they would only refuse to speak if they see her face. Of course say that his betrayal affects them is say very little, say that she felt how their broken heart was being destroyed was being a little inaccurate. They couldn't take it, so before she couldn't breathe and felt their world collapsing more than it already was, she covered their eyes and closed her heart, trying to make herself smaller in their seat.
–Kamari, look at me –It was... it was Farah's voice, it was heard far away, she knew she was in front of them, she felt the pressure of her hands on their wrists, she wanted to see her face, but they couldn't let her do it, what would she think of her if she saw them like that? She couldn't let her do it. They forced herself not to take her hands out of their face –. My moon, everything will be fine, we will bring Hadir back and we will make him pay – She wanted to believe her, they truly wanted, but she just couldn't, it wasn't their thing to be the one with high expectations –. Skye, let me see you, please, I can’t know if you are okay if you don’t let me know – Perhaps the fact that she said her real name, one that only she and Hadir knew at the time and not a nickname that had welcomed them with open arms for more than ten years, was what made her stop straining, and let her lift their face, cradling it between her hands. Her eyes moved to Alex, Price, Laswell and Gaz, but returned to their sister, who caressed her cheeks and kissed their forehead, as she always did on nights when the demons seemed to ask her to surrender to the Moon.
–Hadir, he knows what Barkov did to me with that gas, he, he lived it, he knows how many times. –Their voice trailed off, her sister hugged them, Skye wasn't crying, her voice was cracking, but they weren’t crying –. He knows how many times I was about to die under Barkov's order with that gas, why did he steal it? –She pulled their head out of her sister's chest, the mere idea that their brother had betrayed them caused the most terrifying ideas to climb through her brain, their deepest fears came out, her head shook in denial, trying to get rid of any ideas they had –. I don't want to go back to that, I want to stay with you or go back to Scotland, but I don't want to be Elena again, I can't become that again. –Her forehead was placed on the familiar shoulder; their sister was humming a lullaby in her ear.
–You won't be Elena again, you'll still be Skye, you'll still be Kamari, you'll still be my sister, my moon. –Those words were what the eldest told them when the memories of her life as Elena Barkova didn’t let them breathe.
She knew that the mission to bring Hadir back and capture the Wolf was going to bring more harm than good the moment their sister and Alex were separated from her and the rest due to that explosion, they felt it in her chest and on their stomach, she called on the radio every five minutes looking for any sign of Farah, they couldn't lose her too, but they didn't, by the grace of some divine being, she was able to sigh calmly again when they saw that her commander came out together with the blue eyed with live from those tunnels, next to the corpse of The Wolf in a bag. Although their little happiness didn't last long, the US government had put them and the Liberation Forces on the terrorist list, it almost went to the colonel's neck if it weren't for the fact that their sister stopped her and that Price said, almost, the words they would have said. They returned, without Hadir and being "terrorists", but with their favourite American boy.
In those days, she hardly slept at all, they felt that if she did, their sister would disappear, as Leslie did from one moment to the next when she was eight years old, they were only able to sleep once, and that was when she was sitting next to their commander, with her head on her shoulder and the blonde men on their other side, holding their hands, she was safe, nothing bad was going to happen, that's what they heard from both of them before dreaming, it was one of the few times she didn't have any nightmare, it was more like a sweet dream, that night they dreamed of her home in Scotland, that they were eight years old again, she dreamed of their mother's eyes, of her father's hugs, they ran with her brothers and kissed their baby brother’s head.
When the whole nightmare ended, it was the moment when Farah told them that Barkov had fallen, they felt as if a great weight had disappeared from her shoulders, as if their back was lighter, she had released an air that they never imagined she had been holding, would even have fallen if it weren't for Gaz, who held them up when he saw her stagger.
– Hey, you okey? – he asked worried, grabbing the sergeant
–I’m free. –That was what they whispered, still not believing that her biggest monster was dead, one of their reasons for being alive was to see the general fall, another was to help Farah, and the last one was to return home, but she still thought that this was something that she couldn't do.
Convincing her that they can go back to the UK, to Scotland, took a full week for Farah, although she couldn't have done it without Price's help, the captain wanted the Scot as a sergeant in his new task force, but it wasn't until that they reached an agreement that the government would not tell her family anything until they officially entered the task force, that lasted less than a year, during which time Price welcomed her into his home, in a second room that he had. although they rarely used it, in fact, whenever she was in the house, they could be found in two places: in the patio or in the living room. The captain had a few weeks off, in which he helped Skye mentally prepare for what was coming, helped her adapt to not being in constant danger, he had even asked his boyfriend to help him, he also had vacations and was softer than the captain when he spoke, so they both helped the Scot, in everything they could.
–How do you feel? are you adjusting well? –They were in a park with Gaz at night, the sergeant had taken them out of the house to give the captain privacy with his partner if you know what I mean.
– I still can't get used to the fact that the stars aren't visible and I don't sleep outdoors, but other than that, I'm adjusting. Is it normal for people to look at me so much when I go out? –Her feet helped them move the swing she was on, they hadn't been on one of these since she was a child, that made them smile.
– People look at what attracts their attention, and you attract the attention, in the intriguing way. – The young man was sitting on the swing on the right, watching how little by little the speed with which she was swinging increased, he smiled looking how happy they were. Skye was like a scared cat sometimes; you want to help her but you know they’re going to hurt you if you go rough. –And I know a good spot to watch stars, one of these days I'll take you there
–I don’t understand. –she had told him smiling confused by the first thing he said, about people looking at them because she was interesting
–You will, believe me.
And of course he did, but that story is for another day, time passed and Skye finally joined the SAS training, Martin left and came back, but every time he returned to Argentina, he did so with a sour taste in his mouth, he wished he could help the young folk a little more, they both wanted it, Price knew her a little better than Ferrero, he had seen how they put the lives of others above her own, how they obeyed Farah's orders as if they were religious prayers on a Mass Sunday, but the pampeano was methodical, he knew body language, he knew people, and he had noticed how the younger behaved, as if she were lost in life without having anyone to tell them what to do, as if she had no purpose, they both talked about it with the pillow, they both put together all the details, the behavior of the Scot, what they had told Farah when they found out about Hadir's betrayal, how she reacted to Barkov's death and reached a conclusion, one that made the Brit want to have been the one who ended the Russian's life. But he had decided to let it go, help them of course, but without necessarily talking about it, he thank life ageing for making his path cross that of Martin, he didn’t know where he would be now without him, because when His Sea found out, he scold him and tell him that he wasn't helping her that way, that he didn't care how the English did it, that this was not how a child who had been abused.
– Kid, I want to tell you something – The older began to speak, he had asked the Scot for a word, they were face to face in his office at the 141 base, the younger had that weekend off but before going home she decided to spend some time with their favourite captain, each with a cup of tea, the captain had bought a cup for the black-haired, just for her, no one could use it, Gaz told him that he played favourites, nonsense, he had bought one for him too –. It has to do with your life under Barkov's care.
–Is old story Price, it happened a long time ago. –they spoke quickly, trying to end the conversation without starting it.
– It will have been a long time ago, but it still has an effect on you moony – Price wasn't going to let her avoid trouble, not when it could lead to them dying stupidly –. You experienced something that no child should go through. Why didn't you say anything at that moment? I was able to bring you to your parent years ago.
– I wasn't the Skye my family remembers, nor am I now –She paused, avoiding the captain's eyes, they sighed to continue –. I had to help Farah and Hadir, I couldn't use them to my advantage.
–Although I admire your sense of honor, you were twelve years old, you were beaten up and I'm sure that you stayed behind bothered them more than it would have been for you to come back.
–It's an old story, I made my decisions, at that point I wasn't Skye anymore, I was a soldier and don't tell me about age, Martín told me you joined the army at sixteen.
–I was sixteen, not twelve and I did it on my own free will.
–Staying was my free will! – She hadn't wanted to raise their voice, she stood still when they finished speaking, holding their cup in her hands, he was going to be their superior, she couldn't go yelling at their superiors like that.
–A guilt-driven will is not a free will, moony – it was the voice of the experience that spoke, calm, he didn’t want to upset the kid more –. What I'm saying is that you are now free from Barkov's shadow, you will never be Elena again and you no longer have to fight for someone else, fight for yourself.
Sergeant Kamari never fought for herself, they never had someone who tell her that they can and should fight for herself, they were ripped from her family at a very young age and raised as a soldier, as a Russian soldier. No one ever told her to fight for herself, not until that day, those months, and that afternoon. Jonathan Price had been more of a father than Barkov had been in the four years Elena was alive. Although, of course, Seelie still struggles with many emotional things to this day, but everything is a process that she goes through alongside her family and accompanied by her psychologist.