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Too Gay to Function Café

Summary:

Langa stood across from the most alluring barista he had ever laid eyes on. Where before he was enjoying the aroma of caffeine beans and baked decadents, he was now transfixed on the person in front of him.

What had just been another routine morning, mumbled orders and a black coffee addiction fix, was now an earth shattering life upending moment. This barista was turning his world upside down. All it took were his blue eyes to meet amber.

Ohh so amber...  

Langa strolls into a new café for a simple caffeine fix. He finds more than just caffeine.

When a beautiful blue angel walks up to the counter to order, Reki realizes that maybe guys too can make his heart flutter.

Notes:

Hi all, I was sort of going for a gay panic, mutual pining of two idiots vibe. I think I wrote something along those lines... Each chapter will reflect a day of the week, varying in length, as they get to know each other.

I did my best to emulate each character but I wouldn't be surprised if some mannerisms don't line up 100%. It's not beta'd since I sort of wrote this for myself... but sharing is caring, so I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: Monday

Summary:

Reki finds that he loves the colour blue. Langa finds he loves the colour red.

Chapter Text

Oh Shit

Reki was frozen, struck absolutely blinded by a customer... An angel. A stunning blue angel that stood in front of him. Soft supple skin, speckless, and just a slight hue of red. The eyes, so pretty and blue, an abyss to be lost in.  The silky hair, equally blue, framing the face. A perfect face.  

A blue angel stood in front of Reki, and the angel was doing some weird things to him, making Reki feel mushy things inside he’d never felt before. And they had yet to even exchange a word. It did not matter, however, because in front of Reki was the most attractive person he had ever seen.  

BUT WAIT  

Something’s off.  

Reki’s heart started to pound a little quicker than before. 

Oh.   

OHH.  

He’s a dude. 

HhhuUUUuuuuuuuuuHHHHH?  

CRASHHHHH

The ceramic mug Reki was about to hand over slipped a little in his dazed state as he looked into the pretty boy’s eyes. Perfect eyes that were mere feet from him across the counter. The mug smashed into pieces on the floor behind the counter, coffee splashing everywhere and all over his shoes.  

In all the years Reki had worked in the off-campus café, never had he been caught off guard. He was a people person, a cool cucumber, but there’s a first for everything... 

Reki did not break eye contact after dropping the mug. Neither did his angel. 

“errrrhhhhhh” Reki let out of his mouth. A pathetic utter. 

“Ummmmm” The pretty boy replied. He was staring back at Reki. Eyes meeting eyes. Reki was frozen. Endorphins flooded his system. He could feel his cheeks starting to flush. His brain was shutting down as he stood there. It confused Reki, shaking him to his core. 

“Eeeehhhhhh?” Reki didn’t know his throat could make such a high-pitched noise.  

“Hummmmm” The blue boy responded again. Also not making a move. A bit of red was starting to show, contrasting his colour palate. Reki was hyper-focused on him. The rest of the world was fading away. 

"errrrrrrr”  

“Huhhhhhh” 

“Eeeeeeemm” 

“huuuuuhhh” 

“SLIME!” Miya reached over and jabbed him with his hand. “YOU DROPPED A MUG AND STOPPED WORKING AT PEAK RUSH HOUR.”  

Reki jumped, then was abruptly pulled back to his senses. Rubbed his side as he looked over to Miya. His face reflected his emotionally distraught state, so he failed to notice the lineup growing behind his current customer.  

“Umm...” 

Maybe Miya’s aggression had failed to fully return Reki to his senses.  

“Oh my GOD. You are so fired. But after you clean up that mess.” 

Reki paused before tilting his head down like a scolded puppy. He peaked over at his new interest through the corner of his eye. Dreamy boy was frozen too, also looking down, perhaps lost in thought? Reki closed his eyes in defeat. 

He is so perfect. SO Beautiful it hurts. What is going on... Is there... I mean, he’s a boy... why am I feeling this way...  

Is there something wrong with me?  

Reki looked back to Miya and sighed in resignation and embarrassment. He bent his knees and vertically slid out of sight behind the counter like a gopher retreating to safety. 

“I am so sorry sir. I will get you another drink immediately.” Reki could hear Miya above apologize to Mr. Perfect Blue.  

Reki ran on autopilot as he silently cleaned his mess before he could escape to the back room of the café. In all of Reki’s 19 years, he had never been so shaken to the core. He figured some space might do him some good. Some distance between him and the angelerrr, pretty boy? no handsome dudewait...   

Regardless, he needed a breather. In his dazed state, he stumbled to the break room where he sat down and hid his head in his hands; Reki was taking a much-needed moment. He had better things to worry about, like school and money, and skateboards... he did NOT have time for any of this gay panic... Oh no...   

Maybe I... I like guys too?? No... or?? Oh god, he’s so perfect.. Oh no. OH NO, what am I going to do? Is this fine? I am fine right? Oh god, I think I might be gay... No, I think I had a crush on a girl in high school... no wait I think I just liked her skating skills, or wait... No I’m definitely Bi maybe?? Or what are the other options again...  

“Slime!” Miya rushed into the back room His shrill yelling carried no weight, but it stopped Reki’s panic thought. “Get changed into a clean outfit. I texted Dad and he vetoed me firing you... I don’t know why he wants a useless Slime like you but... if you’re still here you might as well help me.” 

Reki did not respond. Not at first. The ever-benevolent Miya waited, tilting his head a little, irritated at Reki’s non-response.  

“Miya...” Reki started sounding utterly defeated.  

“Hmm?” Miya was ready to turn around to leave.  

“I might be... Maybe I’m... I think I’m bi?”  

“tch, no shit, want a medal?” 

“Huh?” 

 


 

Langa stood across from the most alluring barista he had ever laid eyes on. Where before he was enjoying the aroma of caffeine beans and baked decadents, he was now transfixed on the person in front of him.  

What had just been another routine morning, mumbled orders and a black coffee addiction fix, was now an earth-shattering, life-upending moment. This barista was turning his world upside down. All it took were his blue eyes to meet amber.  

Ohh so amber...  

The barista was a perfect devilish red. But he liked more than just the hair, that vivid wild red hair. The eyebrows matched the rouge hue. The lips. Those sinfully perfect red lips. Those cheeks, a perfect red flush. The uniform, red and complimentary colours. The coffee mug, red for the season. And those eyes. Those dam eyes, an incredible amber red.  

Langa could feel his face flush as he felt butterflies in his stomach take flight. Heat flooded his face, his neck, and even his chest. Langa, frozen in place, could only stare back into those amber eyes that were staring into his.  

It felt like something was clicking right into place, a perfect fit. Two pieces coming together as one. 

Langa was entranced by the boy in front of him. He was so perfect. 

Wait  

Boy? 

He?  

He’s a dude? 

Huuuuhhhhhhhh?  

CRASHHHHH---  

Langa could barely register the nonsensical verbal conversation the boy in red was trying to have with him. His vocal cords, disconnected from his brain, did their best to make Japanese ‘words’. It didn’t matter. Langa was frozen, but he could hardly complain. If the universe ended this moment, Langa wouldn’t mind, because he was transfixed upon pure beauty.  

Their eye contact was severed by the high-pitched yelling of a short barista. Langa was ripped from his hyper-focus on the increasingly red boy in front of him.  

The increasingly cute flustered red boy in front of him. 

He was so confused. His heart was beating faster than he had ever felt it before. Langa took note that it sped up rather than slowed when it was apparent this was a guy.  

will get you another drink immediately.” Langa turned to the shorter barista, catching the latter half of something. He was still caught in his daze.  

Unsure what to do, he just stood there and nodded. Focused on the floor, he mourned the fact that the day ahead of him would be anything but routine.  All he had wanted was some hot liquid, passable as coffee, to drink. He needed the magic bean juice to power him through some studying.  

In the face of this adversity, Langa forfeit his plans. Schoolwork be damned. Caffeine be damned. His simple black coffee, now smashed, was suddenly a little bit less important to him.  

Red boys, however...