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Walking back from the clearing after their fight, Tsukasa couldn't shake the feeling of rightness, like...finding out how the last pieces of a puzzle fit together. Fighting Fujio had felt good, the limits that Tsukasa had put on himself falling away as if they had never been there. It had felt like coming home, if home was a person (and to Tsukasa that was what Fujio was, his home).
They’d been apart longer than ever before and Tsukasa couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that he hadn’t made the trip out to see Fujio before now – of course with his jii-chan being unwell, Fujio couldn’t well come back to the city. But as usual, Fujio didn’t care about that.
“Stop being dumb Tsukasa, of course I didn’t expect you to come all the way here to see me – told you that often enough. We promised we’d see each other again, it was just a matter of time. And you’re here now, aren’t you? So what’s the problem, stop worrying so much!”
Fujio really hadn't changed at all, Tsukasa smiled to himself. He was just as unshakeable in his optimism as always - never one to give in to self-doubt or insecurities (unlike Tsukasa). He probably hadn't spent the better part of two years sad and depressed and missing his friend - not that Tsukasa thought Fujio indifferent, no - they were just built different.
Tsukasa was shaken from his thoughts by Fujio stopping suddenly in his tracks and turning to face him with a frown.
"Look at you, you're literally covered in mud. You can't go home like that, it's uncomfortable and your mom is going to have a fit when she sees you like that."
"Like you're any better. Really it's fine - there won't be anyone at home tonight so I won't get into trouble. And I've been doing my own laundry since I was twelve so not like she would notice anything anyway."
If anything, Fujio's frown deepened at that.
"No, that won't do. I would be a bad friend sending you home in wet and dirty clothes when it's my fault that you got that way. Come on, there's a creek not far from here - we can go for a swim and wash our clothes. It's so warm that everything will dry quickly, you'll still be home in time for dinner. Now come on, it's not far - just that way."
A swim sounded heavenly, and Fujio was right - it was getting uncomfortable, the mud had dried off in awkward places while his socks were still wet.
"Fine, a swim sounds great. I should move here, it must be nice to be able to go for a swim whenever you like."
"Pfft, you wouldn't last a week - you're a city boy, there's nothing to do here all day long. You'd be bored out of your mind. Nah, I'm coming back to the city soon - I miss it all. You'll see, things will be even better than before!"
True to his word, Fujio led them to a little creek just a little way off the main road. There was even a little jetty, just enough for two people to lie back and dry themselves off in the sun.
"Grandpa and me used to come here often. When I was little I used to swim here all the time and he would sit at the end of the jetty and pretend to fish - he never caught anything, I realise now he was just there to keep an eye on me. I know it doesn't look deep enough but I promise you it is, come on Tsukasa - what are you waiting for?!"
Tsukasa could only stare in shock as Fujio proceeded to strip out of his muddy clothes. Sure Fujio had never been self-conscious about himself or how he looked but Tsukasa hadn't undressed in front of another person since he was a little kid. By the time Tsukasa had managed to get his shirt off, Fujio was already down to nothing but his underwear and Tsukasa couldn't help but look. Gosh Fujio looked good, he was lean and strong and his skin was beautifully tan from being in the sun all summer long. When he bent down to dump his clothes in the creek to wash them Tsukasa had to turn away to compose himself - he shouldn't be having these thoughts about his best friend, how embarrassing if he was caught looking.
Washing their clothes didn't actually take as long as Tsukasa had initially thought, the creek had a small current that washed away all the mud and the dirt and the water stayed clear after. By the time they were done and laid the wet stuff on the jetty to dry, the sun had climbed up and it was getting uncomfortably hot, so Tsukasa jumped in the water (carefully, he didn't want to break his neck by diving into something unknown). The cool water felt so good and refreshing, he hadn't realised how tired he'd gotten from the physical (and emotional) exertion from earlier on. Tsukasa stayed under as long as he could before coming back up to the surface. He kept his eyes closed and turned his face towards the sun, just soaking in the feeling of...happiness. Happy to have reconnected with Fujio, happy to be out here out of the concrete jungle that was home and enjoying himself for once. When he opened his eyes it was to see Fujio look back at him wide-eyed from where he was sat on the jetty.
"Umm…yeah, you just looked really happy there. I haven't seen you smile like that in a long while, yeah...it looks good on you," Fujio stammered, looking a little embarrassed. Tsukasa found that endearing, Fujio was so cute sometimes.
"Thanks, I am happy. Happy to be here and happy that you're here with me. But come on, you're the one who suggested a swim in the first place! Why am I the only one in the water???" Tsukasa accompanied his words with a splash of water at Fujio who jumped up and shrieked in surprise.
"That's it. I'm gonna get you, you just watch!"
The splash following Fujio's jump was a big one and Tsukasa couldn't help but laugh. So like Fujio, always wanting to outdo someone. Well he wasn't going to give in easily, if Fujio wanted a water fight he would get one!
They played in the water for a good while, chasing one another and generally just goofing around. But eventually common sense won over, Tsukasa needed to dry himself too before he could put on his newly washed clothes and heading home - they couldn't stay and play the whole afternoon away no matter how fun it was. So, Tsukasa climbed up with a sigh and leaned back on his hands. Fujio followed suit, sitting next to Tsukasa on the little jetty. Tsukasa sneaked a look at Fujio, all that bare skin on display was new and exciting - Tsukasa had always thought Fujio very handsome but seeing his friend like this... Fujio was beautiful.
Not like Tsukasa hadn't thought about what it would be like if him and Fujio were boyfriends instead of just best friends - of course he had, especially in the last few months when he'd felt lonely and lost - he'd daydreamed how it would be if Fujio felt as strongly as he did. If they were an actual couple. But that's all it was, a daydream. Not like Tsukasa was going to put his friendship at risk by confessing to Fujio, there was a big chance he didn't return Tsukasa's feelings (Fujio had been the first person Tsukasa told about liking boys back in middle school and Fujio had never treated him any different afterwards). But honestly Tsukasa was fine with that, having Fujio in his life anyway he could was the most important thing - the feelings would go away some day.
"Hey Tsukasa?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm really glad you came today. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't care, not seeing you for so long. It was all just so much, jii-chan being sick, getting used to a new school and new people...I missed you a lot, sometimes after we talked for ages and I put the phone down I thought how much nicer it would have been to do it face to face, you know? But it's all decided, I'll come back soon - definitely for the new school year. Then we'll be together again, just like before. And I've been thinking...maybe not everything is gonna be like before...I think I would like it if some things would be different too."
Tsukasa frowned and sat up to look at Fujio.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Things not being like before? Of course they will be, it's going to be you and me just like always - what, you found yourself a new best friend? How can you say that, after everything we promised? What is wrong with you?"
Fujio had the decency to look sheepish.
"Agh, that came out wrong - sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. I meant...oh fuck how do I say this...ok here goes. Tsukasa. You're my best friend ever. Like, ever ever. You're the most important person to me, and I really really never want to be without you again. And...I think I like you. As in...different than friends. A lot. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope so or else this is super embarrassing and we're going to pretend I never said anything but after today I just had to tell you."
Tsukasa was honestly stunned speechless. He'd been thinking all this time that his daydreams were just fantasy and he'd resigned to never actually mentioning them and here was Fujio putting it all out on the line.
"I. Wow. You never stop to surprise me. How do you always know what to say? Here I've been lost in my own head thinking there's no way ever you'd think of me as anything else than your best friend and now you tell me this?" figuring it would be ok, Tsukasa reached out and took Fujio's hand in his. (It felt good, like it belonged there) "To be absolutely clear, I like you too. A lot. And not just as a friend."
Fujio's answering smile was blinding. Tsukasa couldn't help but smile in return, he was feeling giddy - like he was full of soda bubbles, all ready to burst. All he'd wanted out of today was to clear things up with Fujio - clear his own head - figure out if he was strong enough to continue on his own. And he'd gained something so much more. Tsukasa looked down at their still intertwined hands and squeezed Fujio's tightly. He never wanted to let go, and now he didn't have to. They were going to be okay.