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When they were eating together that day, he saw his eyelashes as Carlos lowed his gaze to look at his plate.
They were the most beautiful eyelashes he had seen in his life.
"hey, are you okay?" Carlos asked snapping out of his daydreaming state.
"of course i am", charles replied immediately, trying to pretend he wasn't hung up on every Carlos' face feauture at that point.
It wasn't anything special in that dull day, one more on which tthey were working and doing their duties together, because, well, they could save time that way and otherwise there wasn't any reason for them to have their lunch separatedely as if they were some bitter rivals.
"well, i just asked." carlos talked closing off the topic and after some broef silemce he looks up and says, looking into Charles eyes: "I am sorry, by the way." His gaze was sincere but still as defiant as ever. He just needed to looking into his teammate's eyes to male the other feel set on a spell.
"For what, though?"
"I dont know... i just thought about... if i ever hurt your feelings without knowing, you know... eh, of course i know you're a chill guy, but you know i am on the moodier side, i can be... quite moody."
"I don't know why you're talking this to me, mate... but... apology accepted... just because i dont want to leave room for doubt." He replied smiling and hoped to not look like a fool in love.
Carlos just chuckled and smiled back, and Charles could swear that there was something in his eyes that he never saw on any teammate, goddamn, not even any other man.
Man. The name now had a twist on it, like a knife cutting skin. Actually, only when he thought about Carlos accompanying the word. Carlos was a man, he thought to himself. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss the man, the Man, the MAN. and this Man, MAN, was Carlos, only Carlos. Wanted to feel his stubble agains his own, his masculine cologne mixing with his own, his strong and broad figure entrancing amd embracing him, his dark eyelashes framing his eyes as he looked direct into his, feel his strong hand hold melting his body like hot knife against butter with that natural skin warmthness he had. Shit, he was willing to try with Carlos. He really was.
-------
2037.
oh Lord, how funny it was to feel that he was just reaching his 40s this year. Like that fucking mattered. Its not that it doesn't, but not in the way he thought when he was in his 20s.
He was home alone, sitting in the bench of the piano, playing mindlessly. He looked over his room and saw the WDC trophies. And he smiled. the 2028 and 2029 World Champion, ending Max Verstappen's dominance, and winning on a Ferrari. He achieved his dream, the People's champion was now The Champion, the Predestinato fullfilled his destiny. As all drivers' careers have their peak until slowly descending, which is only natural, well, he could look back and see those trophies and feel like he achieved, he made it.
He wondered how Carlos felt.
He, then, remembered the day Carlos without warning or seeming reason, apologized to him umprompted. Which was a little bit out of character since they were more into talking banter, jokes, making each other laugh to get thrpugh those messy seasons they were teammates.
He really wanted to know. He couldn't see him in those occasions, since Carlos had retired from f1 at the end of the 2027 season, leaving audi, after being dropped for being replaced by Frederik Vesta. (Vesta being Piastri's teammate, Piastri who had beat him in the 2030 driver championship, by the way.) And since then, he never put a foot back in F1, only doing endurance racing in a much more media free, low profile lifestyle. Part of it in him was egotistic curiosity, would he be happy for him? proud? in the worst scenario, bitterly jealous?. But his most sincere part: because he missed him.
His phone rang, and he saw his ex-wife picture. That only meant one thing. His daughter. A smile instantly spread across his face. He always knew he'd love being a father.
----
Carlos was helping his son in his homework, back in spain.
He actually found life post F1 to be so more relievingly than he thought it would. Specially now that he had his little son and daughter, and have been a full time dad since 2034. He was so grateful for them. It felt like he found his true calling in life, maybe not everyone can be a world champion, but not anyone but him could be their father and he was willing to give them every support he could since the day he met their eyes. He was willing to be a better father than his own when his own couldn't, which was a unconfortable thought that made him feel ungrateful cause he doesn't like the thought of being an ungrateful son. But he loved being a father, even at the cost of his parasite, liar, cheater ex-wife, that made a Celebrity Career out of being his ex since they broke up in a very midiatic divorce (from her part) 3 years ago. But ok.
His phone rang with an unindentified number.
"Hello, excuse me?"
"oh, hello, is this Carlos Sainz Vasquez de Castro? Its Lewis here."
"Lewis the Hamilton? hey, mate! whats up!"
"everything's fine- sorry for calling without havong your number by the way, i dont meant to both-"
"eh, come on, you know you're Sir Lewis, you can call me anytime- yes, just like that, Carlito, you're doing great"
"sorry, am i interrupting?"
"well to be honest, you are, but i'm doing this homework with carlito and he would love to meet you, isnt it, hijo?" he gives the phone to him, saying, "Its an old friend of papa."
after some sweet exchange between the two, He goes back to Carlos: "So, i actually called you cause i wanted to invite you for a dinner in the next 15 days. Its a dinner between drivers, amd its really intimate, don't worry, its a confratern to commemorate my new role as FIA director!"
"oh, mate, i saw the news! congratulations, but be ready for the headaches" he jokes as he still does best, inciting a chuckle from the other line.
"ah, i am sure i am ready for that, dont worry! i wanted to call the some of my colleagues i had from all these previous years in my career, and you know, i always really connected with you, so why not invite you?"
"oh, thats very nice of you, Lewis, thank you. I really wish you all the best. I will habe to travel to Monaco though, right?"
"uh, yes, sorry for the inconvenience!"
"nah, its okay, count me in! give me all the details on whatsapp, just save my number, or via email, i dont know the etiquettr for these things"
"i will, dont worry, i will explain everything, i just called to make sure you knew from me foremost. have a nice day Carlos, see you there!"
----
Later that day, it was Charles' phone turn to buzz again. It had Lewis' picture on it.
----
The day had arrived. Carlos had booked an AirBNB room just to make his changes and go, and everything went as smooth as it could, thank god.
Until he arrived at Lewis' confirmed place for the dinner amd saw him, saw Charles Leclerc across the place.
His heart skipped a beat amd his heart was surprised at it. Carlos always knew he was a bisexual, but that never mean he was out there to lay every guy in his grasp like these stupid old straight men said it jokingly on those private chitchats he had the unfortune to hear when he was younger. But oh, Charles had an effect on him, but in those years, there was much more to lose than to gain than to being allowed to be vulnerable in such a microscopic, hopeless, strict and competitive space. So he allowed himself to be just Charles' crowbar/teammate and a good teamplayer in those sloppy ferrari years, years that seemed a mess when he was in, almost feeling a bitter taste in his tongue as he reminded that they seemed to go back on track once he moved to audi.
But he was happy for Charles. Oh, how he was.
He was soon greeted by Lewis, always a gentleman he was.
Not too much time has passed until he heard a low, almost shy voice coming from his back as he watched curiously the garden space of the area in the night light.
"Hello, Carlos."
his eyes met the face of the other man, who had now 40 years. He aged as good as Carlos would imagine, and looked as good now as he did 15 years ago.
"Hello, Charles."
after the expect handshake, an awkward silence fell below them.
"I was wondering about you after these past few years."
"oh, come on, you know, i was in Spain. and well, i was the talk of the year for some time, for unwanted reasons, so- yeah" he said as he smile bashfully, taking a sip of his wine glass.
"eh, sorry about that, i didnt mean to- i was not meaning this way, come on-" Charles smiled politely, trying to save the conversation who seemed to have winded in an awkward way.
"Dont worry, this is just me trying to break the ice with a joke, mate. I brought this up myself, so this one's on me." He looked down as he smiled and took a sip again, and Charles could see his eylashes again in the artificial, white lighting of the place.
And he felt.
"its okay... i just wanted to talk to you and say i've missed you. we had never a proper encounter after..." Charles trailed off.
"... i was fired." Carlos filled the sentence. "dont need to worry, Charles, it's nothing personal.". "we just happened to not be in the same place at the same time, no? things are busy, for you much busier, i suppose-"
"yeah, but i mean, i did missed you, Carlos. You was good to me, you know- a good... friend."
"Thank you, Charles."
"why are you being so formal to me though? come on, this woman didnt change you that much-" Charles tried to banter lightly but... well.
...but Carlos chuckled in a way that Charles just knew it was unconfortable and that moment he thought "Oh, me and my big fucking mouth, i screwed up, i am stupid-"
"well i wasn't expecting this to be my topic of conversation today but i guess i can only blame myself" he said jokingly but still the polite unconfortable tone could be heard
"ah, i- sorry, im like this- uh, i'm gonna leave you a-"
"no, wait, its okay, i am just joking." Carlos reached for his arm, and Charles felt being butter touched by hot knife as the older man eyes, while older now, still held that unexplainable hold on him.
"and i want to make it clear, truly, theres nothing personal against you. I am very happy to see you now, and my congratulations on your championships. As late as I am now." Now the hand was squeezing his shoulder and he could feel the firmness the grip had as if they were 20s again. Charles lighted up at the touched, tension releasing.
"Come to my place then? we have some catching up to do. After here, is it okay?"
"as you wish, lord perceval." he patted lighted, making sure he was still the same carlos after all, just older now.
----
Charles made sure to walk him to every room of his apartment, explaining every little detail about his life that he didnt share with him for all those years, and specially his new life as a father, in which both quickly bonded. Now it was like old times, like Ferrari times, those years when they did share their frustrations on those underperforming cars they had to manage. They were now in Charles' t
balcony, as they watched the quiet place below them sometime after midnight.
"oh, come here, i have to show you something" Charles grabbed him by his forearm, without giving the other man, proper time to react.
They were in Charles' room.
He turned the lights on and smiling excited as a child he showed him, "here they are", bringing carlos closer to the trophies.
"oh, wow, they're beautiful. Can I hold it?" "of course, come on, mate." He swiftly took one of them to place in his hand.
"Oh, wow, they are heavy, no?" "oh, here is your name. Leclerc. Its truly beautiful, Charles."
"i wanted to show you so bad, since the day i took that championship. I couldn't be there the way i was if you didn't help me in those terrible years you know... you really are part of it, and i always wanted to tell you that. truly."
"oh charles, you gonna make me cry" he said half bantering, half truly. "im very happy you achieved your dream, mate. you fucking deserved it." As he gave back the trophy to Charles' hands ans his own eyes started to water he started to look around the room. "Oh, the famous piano, birth of many hits, no?"
As he always did and could do it back then, every silly little joke made Charles laugh as a school girl. "If you say so!" he said between giggles.
"oh, thats a beautiful picture of you and your daughter. It reminded me of my and my own kids when we're having fun in our backyard."
"i know. her smile is beautiful."
"yours too."
As he said that, something came on Charles that he couldn't help himself and he just asked.
"Hey, i was actually thinking about something the other day. The day you apologized to me when we were still teammates, we were having lunch and... i just really wanted to know why. because you never did anything to me."
Carlos placed the framed picture back on its place and looked at him softly, smiling and scoffed. "Its not that i didnt do anything, its that you dont remember. Cause youre such a great guy, Charles. I could be a little bit meaner to you than i intended with my jokes, and my mood, and my competitiveness, and you just took it so... well. Some days it just felt like you were more mature than me. So i felt kind of guilty after, sometimes. And that day, i just wanted to get that off my chest, cause you really helped me too. with myself."
"oh... carlos. i-..." His hand, as if it had now it's own mind, reached for Carlos' cheek. Carlos looked at it and it made Charles take it back.
"I'm sorry. I didn't meant to do this."
"Its okay. You can do it."
Charles slowly put his palm back on Carlos cheek, where it wanted to be, and now their lips were reaching for each other.
And it happened.
After all those years, there still seemed to have time to love. Now older, calmer, without all the frenzy and buzz. It was like every print they left upon the track during all these years had lead them here.
And it felt good.