Archive of Our Own

There's glitter on the floor after the party
Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby
Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor
You and me from the night before, but

Don’t read the last page
But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you’re turning away
I want your midnights
But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

The only thing Regulus can identify at the moment is that the party he’s at is loud. He expected it to be, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.

He’s hovering by the front door, where he’d made his entrance only five minutes ago. For some reason, his legs don’t want to work and take him any further into the noise—and the crowd. It’s not unusual for him, for his body to just, well, not work.

It’s not really anything he can control, and not anything that bothers him all that much. It’s just how he keeps himself feeling safe, and comfortable.

From where Regulus is standing, he can see glimpses of his sibling across the room, enjoying herself, talking to people. Most commonly her arms can be found around Remus, too entranced with him to leave the bubble they’ve created. If Sirius had spotted him, maybe Regulus wouldn’t still be stood here, alone.

He fidgets, unsure of what to do. Until Lily walks through the door.

Her presence is loud and demanding, in every possible good way. When Lily enters a room, she’s all that matters, all that needs to be looked at.

Lily also notices Regulus straight away, smiling with all teeth when her eyes land on him.

“Thank god you’re already here,” he says, pressing a gentle hand to Regulus’ arm. He doesn’t like firm touch, he likes soft. Lily knows this, and he appreciates that she actually remembers it. “Remus had mentioned he wasn’t sure if you were coming, but I was hoping more than anything that you would.”

“It’s Sirius’ party,” Regulus shrugs, looking over at her again. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“I know,” Lily smiles, a glint in his eye. He grasps Regulus’ hand loosely, and pulls him away from the corner by the door. “Want a drink?”

Regulus shrugs, then nods, deciding that maybe it’ll help him relax. It’s in this that he and Sirius differ. Sirius doesn’t like to drink, not just because it reminds her of their parents, but because it makes her antsy and, on occasion, paranoid. For Regulus, it simply calms him down, and makes him better at expressing himself.

Lily pours them both a drink, something sweet, and hands one to Regulus. “I want to go see Remus. You coming?”

Regulus nods again and lets himself be dragged through the crowds, her hand still holding his.

Lily’s touch is one of the only ones that Regulus usually accepts. Her and Sirius, really, are the only people who can touch him without asking for permission first. They know that he doesn’t like to feel smothered, and they know that firm touch makes him panic too much. When they touch him, it’s purely comfort.

Sirius lights up when she sees Regulus. “I’ve been waiting on you!” she tells him, letting go of Remus to instead hug her brother. 

“I’ve been here for almost ten minutes,” Regulus says, gesturing back to the front door. “It was loud.”

“Sorry, Reg.” Sirius’ apology is genuine. Sirius is always genuine when it comes to Regulus. “We only invited friends, but then they invited their friends, and it’s just friends of friends of friends. You know?”

“Yes,” Regulus says, though he’s never thrown a party before, so he’s not sure he does know. 

“I’m still sorry. If it gets too much, I’ll take you up onto the roof for a little while. It’s quiet there—I love it.”

Regulus nods, finding that to be an acceptable plan. He glances over to where Lily and Remus are huddled, talking about something that’s unintelligible from where he’s stood. As he does this, he really looks at her. 

Lily’s wearing emerald crystals and other gold accents in his hair, along with a green cardigan and dangly necklaces. There has never been a time that Regulus hasn’t been rendered breathless when looking at him. Not just because of her appearance, but because of the way she holds herself, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle even when she’s not smiling. 

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Sirius says, and Regulus drags his attention back to her. He doesn’t point out that they saw each other last week. “How’s skating going?”

“Same as it always is,” Regulus shrugs. He has to force himself to focus on Sirius, instead of the overwhelming amount of conversations around them. “Our coach is getting angry with us more often, since competitions are soon.”

“Tell her to fuck off,” Sirius says nonchalantly, but Regulus’ eyebrows tug together. 

“Sirius, she’s just doing her job. She needs Lily and I to feel the pressure, otherwise we’ll never be ready for championships.”

“I’m not sure that’s how that works, but okay.”

Before Sirius can say more, Lily and Remus are turning back to the two of them. 

“Where’s Mary?” Lily asks, smiling as she looks over at Regulus. “They were supposed to do my makeup when I got here.”

“I think Mary was doing shots, last time I saw them,” Sirius tells him, and Lily groans. 

“So they’re going to be too drunk to do my makeup properly?”

“Probably—“

“I can do your makeup,” Regulus says, before he even really thinks about it, though he doesn’t have to think about it any further. “I’m sure Mary left their makeup bag in the bathroom, or something. I can do it.”

Sirius suddenly lights up. “You haven’t lived until Regulus has done your makeup. He’s got a skill for it, I swear. You’ll never want anyone else to do your makeup again.”

Lily has somewhat of a surprised expression on his face. “Why don’t I know this? Come on, then, Reg, you’re doing my makeup.”

When they reach the bathroom, Lily is immediately closing the door and sitting on the counter, their faces level with each other. “We have had so many competitions together, and not once have you mentioned you could do makeup.”

“You always ask Mary to do it,” Regulus shrugs, shuffling through the bag of makeup on the counter. He knows that it’s Mary’s, because he’s seen it countless times before.

“Well, it would be easier having you do it, instead of asking Mary to come with us to every comp. Don’t you think so?”

“I guess,” Regulus says quietly, only half paying attention to her. He’s too busy picking out everything he needs, everything that he knows Lily likes. “Or,” he suggests, “you could do your own makeup.”

Lily huffs. “Whenever I do my own makeup, it just doesn’t turn out right. I’m so excited, Reg. When did you learn how to do makeup?”

“When I was younger,” Regulus answers, softly blending Mary’s foundation onto Lily’s face. The shade matches Lily’s skin almost perfectly, which is convenient. “My mother expected it of me to learn young, so I could do my own makeup each morning.”

“Right,” Lily tilts his head. “You even know how to do winged eyeliner?”

Regulus likes this about Lily. When Regulus mentions his childhood, she doesn’t act any differently. She doesn’t look at him with pity, or apologise. He just continues as they were. 

“Yeah, that’s easy,” Regulus says, waving it off. “I’m the one who taught Sirius how to do hers.”

Lily hums. “I can’t believe you never told me this.”

“How am I supposed to bring it up? Oh, hey, yeah, I know how to do makeup, by the way.”

“Yes!”

“Lily, that’s incredulous. And weird. It’s not some crazy thing that I know how to do makeup. Most people know how to do makeup.”

“Well, yeah, okay, but. What else don’t I know about you?” Lily asks, eyes wide as she stares at him. Regulus doesn’t feel as much discomfort as he usually would when being stared at, but he still refuses to meet Lily's eyes.

“A lot, probably,” Regulus answers, somewhat dismissively. “When you think about it, we haven’t known each other all that long. Not long enough to know everything about each other.”

Lily looks away from him now, shuffling through the makeup bag to locate Mary’s glitter eyeliner. “I want to know you more.”

“In time you will, Lils.”

Regulus chews his bottom lip, teeth clinking against his piercings, concentrating when he gets up to putting lip-liner on Lily. He has to put one hand on her cheek to keep steady, and it feels all too close and yet all too far. Lily’s looking at him again, and now, Regulus has to force himself not to look at his eyes.

Lily’s eyes are prettier than anything he’s ever seen before, just as the rest of her, too. His eyes seem to hold so much, though they have the softest edges to them. A deep brown with specks of gold, so very fitting to the rest of his complexion.

“Can I do your eyeliner?” Lily asks, when he’s finished filling in her lips.

Regulus pauses in thought, feeling frozen for a moment. He had never been a big fan of makeup, especially when it was being forced on him. He hasn’t worn anything in nearly two years. Except, he’s sort of curious as to what it would look like. And somewhat drawn to the idea of Lily’s careful hands on his face.

“Okay,” he says in an outward breath.

Immediately, Lily pulls the cap off of the eyeliner, beckoning him forward. “You can do mine next.” Then, she pinches her lip together as she focuses, and draws one careful line along his eyelid. It extends into a wing, and she gets even closer to his face to perfect it. Regulus can feel his breath seize in his throat.

He holds still, hands balling into fists in an attempt to keep all of his energy pent up. When feeling like this, he would usually be flapping his hands to release it, but Regulus doesn’t want to disturb Lily.

It fills him with shame, of sorts, simply because he hates suppressing this stuff. Especially around people who actually make him feel comfortable enough to do it.

There’s no way to describe this moment; not enough words are forming in his head to even process it. When she moves to his next eye, Lily’s hand brushes against the bridge of his nose, and Regulus fights back a shudder. He wishes that he could think of this as intimate, but he doesn’t think that it ever would be in Lily’s eyes.

Almost as quick as he started, Lily is done.

“It’s silver like your snake bites,” she points out, shimmying her shoulders slightly.

“It’s also glittery, unlike my snake bites,” he rebuts, but Lily waves him off, passing him the eyeliner pen.

“Could you draw little stars around the eyeliner too?”

“Yeah, anything,” Regulus shrugs. When he leans forward, Lily’s knees press against his stomach, and he’s surprised he’s still breathing.

Everything that happens with Lily feels so much more monumental than with anyone else. He knows why, but a lot of the time, he chooses not to think about it. Because thinking about his feelings for Lily means confronting a lot of other insecurities he has, so. He deems it better to ignore it all, to ignore that sometimes, he can literally feel a spark between them.

When Regulus is done, Lily smiles. “Now we’re matching. And I’m a star, like you.”

Regulus’ eyebrows pull together in amusement. “Is that why you wanted me to draw the stars?”

“Well, not initially. But it’s cool.”

After a few minutes of Lily leaning in front of the mirror, doing her own mascara, she decides that they’re ready to go and party.

“Remus mentioned that someone has a polaroid camera somewhere,” he tells Regulus, as they’re walking towards the table full of drinks. “And I want to take a million photos. As many as possible. You need to get in some of them, too.”

Regulus accepts, with brief hesitancy.

For the next hour and a half, he takes photos with Lily, Sirius, Dorcas, Mary and Marlene, Peter, too. Regulus is under the impression that he’s taken at least one photo with everybody.

The music that Sirius plays from a speaker drowns out a lot of the conversation going on around them, and that’s enough to keep Regulus at ease for a while. But as more time passes, closer to midnight, he finds himself growing restless and uncomfortable, remembering Sirius’ suggestion of going up to the roof.

Regulus is standing by the front door, wrapping his scarf around his neck so that he can go to the roof, when Lily finds him, as she always does.

“Where are you going?” Lily asks, voice loud so that she can be heard over the music. Regulus doesn’t feel like shouting, so he leans into her ear.

“Roof,” he says, then pulls back. He’d like to have said more, to have said I’m going to the roof because it’s too loud here and I need time to myself, but his mouth fails to speak them. He presses his lips into a fine line, trying to read Lily’s expression.

“May I join?”

When Regulus nods, she grins, grabbing his coat off of the rack by the door. Lily swipes the polaroid camera up from a table beside them, and leads the way out to the hall.

“Have you been up to the roof of their building before? It’s so beautiful—there are benches and fairy lights and stuff. It feels magical—oh my god, Regulus. We should stay up there for the fireworks. Do you know how magical that would be?”

Sometimes, when Regulus can’t talk, Lily seems to do enough talking for the both of them. It’s comforting to him.

“It’s almost time for the fireworks, anyway. Hopefully it isn’t too cold up here,” Lily says, as he opens the doors out to the roof. Sirius living on one of the highest floors of the apartment building is convenient, because they didn’t have to climb many staircases to reach the roof. Regulus thinks he would probably be out of breath if they did.

Lily slips his hand into Regulus’, pulling him over to a small spot of clear space where they can sit. Lily leans against his shoulder, seeking warmth.

“I went home for New Years last year,” she says. “I wish I hadn’t. It was so dull in comparison to this. Sirius always knows how to throw a good party. Remus, too. Pretty sure I slept through all of the fireworks last time. Now I get to watch them with you.”

When Lily looks over at Regulus, he can’t decipher the emotion on her face. He wants to blame whatever it is on the few drinks he’s had. Her eyes are heavy, and blink at him openly. Somehow, though, he can tell that the way Lily’s eyes gloss over isn’t because of the alcohol.

Regulus lifts a hand to his bottom lip, fidgeting with his piercings and choosing to look away. He doesn’t really understand anything. Lily’s head rests on his shoulder, wisps of hair from her braids tickling his neck.

“I’m so excited to get back to skating, aren’t you? I know it’s only two weeks off, but it feels like so much.”

We still have access to the arena, Regulus wants to say. He doesn’t. He can’t. 

Lily continues. “I’m nervous about our routine, though. I’m nervous about landing the Twist. I know you’ll catch me, but my takeoff after the catch worries me. I don’t know, maybe it’s just nonsense. I think I’ve been doubting myself lately.”

Regulus’ finger taps softly against his lower lip, before moving to enclose Lily’s hand in his. 

He feels Lily deflate, like he’s blowing out a relieving breath and letting himself relax against Regulus.

They sit like this for a while, hand in hand, Lily’s head on Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus is staring out at the starry sky before them, the distant buildings and college campus not too far from them. He’s not sure where Lily’s looking. But he knows, when the fireworks start, that they both look up. 

The night sky melds into an explosion of colour from all directions. 

Lily sits up, holding the camera out. “Take a photo with me, Regulus.”

She presses her cheek to his, and Regulus can feel his smile grow. He smiles as well, listening to the sound of the camera click. When the photo prints, Lily slides it into the pocket of her jacket. 

Regulus hopes he’ll show it to him someday. 

 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Regulus sleeps at Sirius’ apartment that night, and when he wakes, he discovers that Lily has as well.

For whatever reason, Sirius and Remus are renting a three bedroom apartment, so it means he and Lily each get a separate room. As he lays in bed, processing being awake, he feels gross. 

The remnants of the party linger on his clothes, in his hair, in the sour taste of his mouth. It’s awful. 

To appease this, he brushes out his hair the best that he can with his fingers, and leaves the room to find coffee. 

Warm, quiet chatter fills his ears, the scent of tea in his nose. When Regulus turns into the kitchen, he finds Lily and Remus talking quietly, whilst Sirius’ face is shoved in the fridge, looking for something. They all look tired, but in a soft, early morning way. 

Remus notices his presence first. “Morning,” he says, a teacup held close to his lips. 

“Hey,” Regulus responds quietly, not one for mornings. He rubs his eyes in an attempt to force the rest of his tiredness away. 

The party last night ended only an hour or so after midnight, after everybody was all partied out and ready to face the new year. Regulus had stuck by Sirius’ side for the last bits and pieces, before excusing himself to the spare bedroom. He just hadn’t expected Lily to stay as well. 

“Hi, sleepyhead,” she says affectionately. Regulus tilts his head, but doesn’t question it. 

“Is there coffee?”

“Yeah, a fresh pot,” Sirius says, pulling her head out of the fridge. “Remus, we have no eggs. You said we had eggs.”

“I said I thought we had eggs,” Remus retorts, getting up to look for himself. 

“I’ve already looked,” Sirius complains, but doesn’t stop Remus from checking, anyway. Once it’s determined that there are no eggs, Remus gazes at Sirius in thought. 

“Want me to run down and buy us more?” he asks. 

“No, no, it’s fine. We’ll get them later,” Sirius says, waving him off. “We need to clean, first, before it becomes too much of a chore.”

Remus groans, scrubbing a hand down his face. “You know, we really need to stop being the ones who throw parties. Unless everybody is willing to help clean after, what’s the point?”

Regulus listens to this whilst he pours his coffee, then says, “I’m here to help.”

“Me too!” Lily chirps. “That’s why I stayed the night… And also because you have a double bed in your spare room which is much comfier than the one in my dorm, but. Still.”

Remus huffs a laugh, and Sirius grins. “I do not miss the college dorm beds whatsoever.”

“I’m sure,” Lily says, hopping up to place her mug in the sink, before canvasing the room around them. Remus and Sirius’ open floor plan makes it easy to observe the mess. “You’d expect people to not be so messy—we aren’t in high school anymore, like?”

“I don’t expect any less of them,” Remus comments dryly. “They’re drunk, and it’s New Years. Why respect another person’s home and keep it clean when they can trash it instead?”

Sirius smiles at her boyfriend in amusement, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Regulus eyes the physical affection, happy for his sibling but indescribably jealous too. He doesn’t understand how something like that is so easy for people. It’s so easy for mostly everybody he knows, and yet it’s something that’s so difficult for him, even when it’s with people close to him.

When they start cleaning, he keeps to himself, picking up deserted cups and bottles, random streamers and confetti. He has no clue where half of this came from.

As he walks through the living room, he finds polaroid photos scattered around. He doesn’t recognise the people in a lot of the photos, but one laying on the floor a few inches from him catches his eye.

It’s of him and Lily. Regulus is holding the camera, face scrunched up instead of smiling, whilst Lily leans towards him, about to bite his jaw. The photo was taken mid motion, so it’s slightly blurry, but Regulus still finds himself staring at it for a long while. He lifts a hand to his jaw, where Lily must’ve bitten, though he doesn’t remember it.

Lily bites him a lot, always as a joke, though it still feels meaningful for Regulus.

Regulus is still staring at the photo when Lily suddenly appears at his side, a broomstick in his hand.

“You alright?” she asks, knocking his feet with the broom.

“Yeah,” Regulus says quietly, thinking of something to say. He tries to articulate a sentence but can’t. Instead, he hands Lily the polaroid.

When Lily looks at it, he smiles, brushing his thumb over Regulus’ frozen-in-time face.

“You should keep it,” Lily tells him, pressing it to his chest. “Then we each get one.”

This reminds Regulus of the photo they took last night, on the rooftop. He remembers it all so vividly. “Can I see that photo?”

“Never,” Lily teases, a glint in her eye before she walks away. Regulus silently hopes to see it one day, before continuing his cleaning, tucking the polaroid into his pocket.

Weeks have passed since New Years, and the only thing that has remained on Regulus’ mind is Lily. They have practice together almost every day now, and outside of that they’re always studying together, or hanging out with friends.

He’s never been so sure of something than he is about his feelings for Lily. He doesn’t know how to contain them when she’s always around.

Not that he’d rather not see Lily, it’s just—hard.

Like right now, they’re side by side, hands just barely brushing, as he walks Lily to her dorm. They’ve just finished a practice in which Hooch, their coach, had berated them for ten minutes straight for not being up to standard. Regulus can tell Lily doesn’t feel the best, but she’s talking to him nonetheless, because he can’t.

Lily seems to pick up on when he can’t—or simply doesn’t want to—talk, and it’s more special than anything he’s ever experienced before.

“Mary invited everyone over for a movie night,” he’s saying, one of her hands fidgeting on the strap of her skating bag. “By invited everyone over, they mean they’ve invited everybody to gather at Remus and Sirius’ apartment to watch movies, considering all of our dorms are too small.”

Regulus’ brows tug together. The last time their group had a movie night, Lily ended up curled at his side, a lazy arm thrown around his waist.

Back then, he didn’t care, because he didn’t view Lily as more than anything but a friend. Now, though? He’s not sure he can deal with that for the length of however many movies they watch.

His hands raise to uneasily tug at his hair, whilst Lily keeps talking, staring straight ahead.

“I think they want to make it a horror themed night? Like, all the snacks are scary and we watch scary movies,” Lily pauses in thought. “I don’t think they got the memo that Halloween ended months ago. Anywho, I’m excited—despite being, like, deathly afraid of horror movies. You’ll have to protect me, Reg.”

At this, he looks over at Regulus, a brief smile on his face before her eyebrows lower in concern. “Are you okay?”

Just as Regulus begins nodding, rain starts to pour, like this simple movement of his head was what triggered it. Lily starts smiling again, her whole face lighting up with it.

She looks up at the sky, at the rain, letting it flood his face and hair.

Regulus’ face contorts, disgusted and uncomfortable with the feeling of the rain soaking his clothes. The droplets run down his face, and he presses his mouth firmly shut, very much preferring not to drink it.

Wet clothes sticking to his body is one of the many things that makes him feel overwhelmed, like all of his bones are too big for his body. It’s overstimulating.

When Lily looks at him again, she looks ethereal. Droplets of water are caught on her eyelashes, on the top of his lips and over his freckles. She’s still smiling, ignoring Regulus’ probably foul expression.

“Isn’t this so freeing?” she asks. “I love the rain.”

Lily spins around in circles, letting it consume her.

Regulus feels his jaw slack, eyes widening as he stares at him. He thinks that his eyes are probably too wide, though he’s too entranced by Lily as a whole to care about schooling his expression.

Then, Lily grabs both of his hands, eyes searching him. She tugs at a strand of his hair, laughing affectionately. “You look so silly,” he says, then running a hand through Regulus’ hair. “I love it.”

I love it? Regulus feels frozen.

Lily is something otherworldly, so perfect that sometimes Regulus thinks that he could just scream. He wants to scream.

Now, her staring at him is all that he can think about. Lily’s eyes pour into him, wide and so beautifully brown. Regulus nibbles at his bottom lip, as he always does when he’s overwhelmed by Lily. By how beautiful she is, and the way she looks at him.

This only causes Lily’s eyes to look down at his lips, his eyes running over them. Regulus swears that time sort of just seems to stop.

When Lily kisses him, the rain doesn’t even matter anymore.

It’s allconsuming, the way she pulls him in, wrapping an arm around his neck. Regulus is clumsy as he reaches to gently hold Lily’s waist, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Lily simply drags him closer, their noses bumping together.

She sucks lightly on his lower lip, and Regulus feels as if he’s not even real anymore.

Like, this is happening to somebody else, not him. Simply because he can’t believe it—can’t believe that Lily is kissing him, out of all people. He lets out a breathless sort of laugh against Lily’s lips, just so incredulous and yet so happy.

Lily pulls back slightly, a small frown on his face. “What?”

Regulus shakes his head, pulling her closer and peppering soft kisses against her lips over and over again.

He doesn’t know how to convince himself this is really happening, how to believe that it’s real. That Lily is here, holding him, kissing him. He almost feels like sighing a breath of relief.

The rain continues to pour around them, and to Regulus it almost feels like a curtain, keeping them in their own little pocket of the universe. He lifts a hand to Lily's hair, carding his fingers through her braids, feeling so happy that he can't even seem to describe it.

He thinks about how only an hour ago, none of this had ever happened; they were just two figure skaters, partnered together for their college years and practising a routine they’d already practised hundreds of times before. Before this, Regulus had been so sure that Lily wouldn’t ever reciprocate his feelings, but this changes everything.

Regulus can feel his world grow, getting ahead of himself as he thinks about the potential of their future together.

Then, he surprises himself by pulling back, being hit with the realisation that, to Lily, this could simply just be a kiss.

Lily looks at him with a question in her eyes, arms still around his neck. She asks if he’s okay, but Regulus barely processes it, worried now.

“What does this mean?” he feels himself asking, but doesn’t really hear it. It feels like his ears are stuffed with fog, too blurry for him to actually hear anything.

“Us kissing?” Lily questions, and he nods. She’s silent for a while, seeming to have a debate with herself. “It means everything. It means that I want to kiss you again, because I like you a lot, and I don’t know how else to express it. It means—do you like me too? That’s what it means to me.”

Regulus’ eyes widen, his grip on Lily’s waist tightening ever so slightly.

“I like you a lot,” he says quietly, still worried—scared. Questions run through his mind, wondering if this is some sort of prank, but inwardly, he knows that Lily wouldn’t do that to him. He’s just—so insecure, he doesn’t know how else to process this. How to believe that anyone could actually like him.

Lily pulls him into a soft hug, so gentle with him that he sort of wants to cry a little. He supposes that if he did, it would only be mistaken for rain, afterall.

Yet, he doesn’t. He simply breathes Lily in, holding him with what he hopes is as much comfort as Lily gives him.

“Do you want to just watch a movie in my dorm tonight, rather than go to Sirius’? We don’t have to talk about anything—we can just be us.”

Regulus nods against him, relieved. A night with just Lily sounds nice, now that—this has happened. He doesn’t exactly know what this is, yet, but he likes it. He thinks that he smiles the entire time they walk back to her dorm.

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi
I can tell that it's gonna be a long road
I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe
Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

Regulus stares out of the window of the taxi, watching scenery pass him by. The large fields, often sprouting different types of flowers, provide him with a sense of serenity, almost preparing him for what he’s up against in only an hour.

The intensity of championships lingers on his mind, though for once, he feels prepared that he and Lily have their routine downpact. 

When he looks over at her, she’s typing furiously on her phone, Mary’s contact on the top of his screen. Lily seems to be ranting, and he gets the notion that she’s nervous.

It’s understandable, because for some reason, Hooch has been targeting Lily more than she does Regulus. Regulus thinks it’s just so Lily can perfect his routine, but Lily has told him on multiple accounts that he thinks Hooch has it out for her.

Regulus isn’t entirely against this idea either, only because he knows that there is definitely a difference in how Hooch treats them. He just doesn’t know what to do about it.

Once he’s gone back to looking out of the window, leaning on one hand to stare out, the other drops to his side, and he feels Lily grab it.

She squeezes once, twice, three times, and he turns to look at her again. Lily’s phone is off now, sitting on his lap, and she’s looking at Regulus, eyes creased at the corners. There’s a frown on her face. 

Regulus gently rubs his thumb across the back of her fingers, feeling each and every indent and bump of his knuckles. It feels intimate, and Regulus repeats his actions, embracing it.

“Our last practice was good,” he says gently, not expecting a reply. Sometimes, when Lily is anxious, she gets quiet too. Whilst Regulus knows he isn’t good at reassurance, or even being all that positive in general, he wants to try for Lily. “Everything we practised, you did flawlessly. And gracefully. Which is all that the judges want, and all that we need to do.”

Lily blinks at him, his eyes soft as he leans her head against the seat. Regulus keeps going, his thumb repeating that same pattern.

“Even in a hypothetical scenario in which we lose, you’d still outsell everybody there. Have you seen the way you move on the ice? There’s not a single person out there who could come close to it.”

“You’re beautiful,” Regulus tells her earnestly. “Beautiful and refined and so fucking good at what you do. I know that once we enter that arena, we’ve already won. Because of you.”

He then lifts a hand to hold the side of Lily’s face, then his hair. Regulus had done Lily’s makeup prior to them leaving, as the arena wasn’t out of state or too far from their campus. She looks so beautiful—as she always does. Regulus doesn’t know how he’s lucky enough to simply lay eyes on him.

Lily is soft, and she welcomes his touch, leaning into it.

They simply stare at each other for a while, Regulus taking in Lily, Lily looking at Regulus warmly.

He knows that they’re close to the arena, so, a little recklessly, Regulus unbuckles his seatbelt and reaches forward to pull her into a hug, awkward because they’re in the back of a taxi, and yet still comfortable, feeling like home.

 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Lily is blissful.

His eyes are wide, her face shimmering with a sheen of sweat, leftover from the adrenaline of winning.

She’s unable to sit still in his seat, even as the seatbelt holds him back from moving all too far.

“I don’t know why I was so ready for us to lose—god, Regulus. I wish I could’ve seen us perform, I can’t believe we won,” he’s ranting, flexing her fingers back and forth like she just can’t stop moving her body.

Regulus doesn’t really feel up to talking, happy but tired from skating and overall burnt out from having to speak to so many people prior to and after winning.

He watches Lily with a small smile on his face, happy that she’s happy.

He wants to tell her so much, that he’s always believed in her and that he knew they would win. But he doesn’t really know how to formulate that into words, not now. Instead, he thinks back to how Lily had squeezed his hands on the way here, looking for reassurance.

So, Regulus reaches over, grasping both of his hands in his own and squeezing, once, twice, three times. Lily looks at him, lighting up more than he already had been.

“You don’t understand how happy I am that I was paired with you, Reg,” she tells him. “I don’t think I’d have this level of success with anybody else. You really are good, love. I don’t know how you don’t drop me.”

I wouldn’t allow myself to drop you, Regulus thinks, but doesn’t say it, instead tilting his head at Lily. He would never be so foolish as to drop her.

Lily brings his hands to her lips, kissing each knuckle gently. Regulus feels like he’s been peeled open so as to be touched so gently, so fondly. He feels raw and yet finds that he doesn’t mind it one bit. Lily being the one to see him like this and get to feel him like this seems so right, like he wouldn’t let anybody else but him do such a thing.

If he could speak right now, he’d be choking on his words.

Instead, Regulus leans forward when Lily looks up and kisses her, feeling soft and warm and a little fuzzy.

The kiss is short and intimate, though still just as special as every other kiss they’ve shared.

Regulus had never thought of himself to be the type to enjoy kissing, assuming it was a meaningless swap of saliva, but with Lily, he now understands why everybody else enjoys it so much.

His entire world feels lit up with just Lily Lily Lily. He can’t imagine a life, a world, with anybody else but her.

Just as he had when they first kissed, he feels so entirely lucky that Lily would ever consider such a thing with him, of all people. He still doesn’t understand why Lily did choose him, but he doesn’t want to question it any longer, instead curling a hand into Lily’s shirt and pulling back to stare at him.

They haven’t yet spoken about what they are, but Regulus doesn’t think they need to. It’s clear. There’s some sort of relationship between them, a spark of something special. Something like that doesn’t need to be defined.

Don't read the last page
But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we're making mistakes
I want your midnights
But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

They’re not really supposed to be skating right now.

Their allocated practice for today isn’t until after classes, but Regulus and Lily both had a free and the hockey team wasn’t using the ice, so. They’ve snuck in.

Lily doesn’t seem to be in the best mood—tired from a lack of sleep last night and a stressful philosophy class prior to them skating, but she still glides across the ice, smiling at Regulus from time to time.

Apparently, Lily wants to practise their new routine so that it can be perfected for Hooch later. Regulus isn’t complaining, because he genuinely really likes this routine a lot. He thinks that it’s one of their best yet, if he’s honest.

Lily is warming up with a range of spins and complicated moves that he can definitely do a lot better than Regulus can, and when he skates up to Regulus, he’s frowning a little.

“Are you ready?” she asks, and Regulus half-nods, half-shrugs, wanting to know if Lily’s okay. She doesn’t leave him time to ask, though, because she skates to the side of the rink, pressing play on the song to their routine.

As Stay by Rihanna floods the arena, Lily glides towards him, grasping his hands in his. 

They begin slowly, skating at the same rhythm across the ice. Lily leaves him to spin delicately, whilst Regulus glides to the music.

This is one of Regulus’ favourite routines. It’s one of their less difficult ones, but as it’s new, they’re still taking time to memorise it.

Regulus curls his hands around Lily’s waist, lifting her up into the air and watching her spin in his arms. It’s one of his favourite moves, the two of them still moving as he gently lets her down.

He realises that he likes this routine so much because he gets to look at Lily—a lot.

A lot of it is the two of them holding hands and moving in unison, watching each other with gentle eyes. Today though, Lily just looks determined, in a frustrated sort of way. It makes Regulus a little worried, only because he doesn’t know what’s making him so upset.

They get through a majority of their routine with no slip ups whatsoever, when Regulus loses his footing and moves in the wrong direction.

Lily takes notice of this straight away, and Regulus isn’t prepared for the immediate change in her behaviour.

“Are you fucking kidding?” she bursts out, and Regulus doesn’t think he’s ever seen her this angry before. “Is it really that hard? Seriously? You go right, not left!”

Regulus didn’t even know that Lily was capable of anger like this, let alone directing it at him.

“It was a mistake, Lils—we’ll just go again.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to get it first try, no mistakes,” she grumbles, eyes alight with what could be fire.

“I’m sorry,” Regulus says, sincerely. He ignores him, skating away to restart the song.

The second time that they go through the routine, there are no mistakes, but Regulus feels a little shitty. He doesn’t feel as though he did much wrong—they both make mistakes all of the time. And yet, Lily’s anger about this is eating at him. He feels as though he has disappointed him.

After this, Lily demands they do it once more, for good measure.

She’s quick off of the ice when it’s over, leaving for the girls locker room.

Regulus feels as though his chest has deflated, a lump caught in his throat as he makes his way to the boys locker room.

He doesn’t exactly feel upset with Lily, just disappointed in himself. And a little sad, feeling as though he’s done her wrong. He thinks he should talk to her about it, when they see each other next.

It takes him a while to change from his figure skating clothes to something normal to go to class in, jeans and a woolly sweater. It’s still really cold, so he wraps a scarf around his neck, gentle with it. He thinks that it’s Sirius’, or maybe Remus’, but he can’t be sure. He only knows that he borrowed it a while ago, and never gave it back.

Regulus is just gathering his things when he feels the door swing open.

“Reg?”

It’s Lily. Lily.

“I’m here, love,” Regulus calls out, but it feels like an effort. He knows that he speaks the words, because she finds her way to him, but he runs his tongue across his teeth, nervous. Sometimes, Regulus’ loss of the ability to speak is inconvenient.

He doesn’t exactly know how to explain it. People have asked him before—why it just goes sometimes. There’s no simple explanation Regulus can think of.

It usually only leaves when he’s frustrated, or upset, or most commonly when he’s overstimulated. But when it goes, it’s gone. It sort of feels as though his voice box has just left his throat, because when he tries to speak the words they just don’t come out.

His tongue curls around them, ready to speak, but no sound leaves his mouth. He wishes it could be easier. He wishes there were a better explanation.

Lily is fiddling with his hands, clenching and unclenching them, then squeezing the bottom of her jumper.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you,” he says softly. Her voice shakes around the words, as though she wants to cry. “I don’t want to yell at you—ever. I just didn’t get any sleep last night. I was up all night with this stupid, stupid assignment and I just—I’m so frustrated right now. I’m sorry, Reg. I’m really so sorry.”

Regulus pulls at his bottom lip with his teeth, wanting desperately to give her the reassurance that she needs. He works his jaw, managing to say, “It’s okay,” but it’s uncomfortable.

Lily understands straight away. She’s always been able to pick up on it.

“Can I hug you?”

He’s never nodded faster. Lily’s arms envelop him, circling around his waist like he’s the most delicate thing in the world. He always hugs with so much care, her arms moving up and down his back.

Lily feels so soft and warm, and Regulus clings onto him, arms tight around Lily’s neck.

It feels as though it lasts a lifetime, which Regulus doesn’t mind whatsoever. He couldn’t ever mind when it’s Lily.

Sometimes, Regulus worries that Lily thinks he’s going to leave her. He would never do that. He wants her to know that.

Wants to say, I want your mistakes. I want all of you, everything good with everything bad at the same time.

When Lily finally lets go, it’s to press their foreheads together instead. Brown eyes looking into Regulus’ green.

Regulus has never felt love like this before.

Everything is so loud.

People bustle around Regulus, talking and laughing, moving shit around. Not just people, but his friends. Things are just—too much at the moment.

Regulus doesn’t think he’s spoken in a while. He can’t even concentrate on what people are saying, it’s just too much. The one person who Regulus wishes were here is not . Lily had a late shift at the small cafe she works at, and is in turn a little late to the dinner Sirius and Remus have prepared.

He doesn’t exactly mind being here, Regulus likes showing up for his sibling. Everything just gets too much for Regulus, and it’s so inconvenient it makes him want to cry a little sometimes.

Instead of doing this, instead of balling up his fists and having a meltdown in the middle of everything, he digs in his bag for his headphones. They’re noise cancelling, and he feels a lot better the moment that they’re covering his ears.

Nobody tries to speak to him, probably aware that he’s not in the mood for it, though once everybody’s sitting at the table, Sirius nudges his shoe with hers from time to time. Just to show that she’s there. Regulus smiles softly at her, unable to help it.

One of the best things that has come from choosing to go to college with his sibling is that all of Sirius’ friends are so understanding.

Everybody seems to know exactly what he needs and when, and they don’t mind that he’s a little different from them, and a little out of it a lot of the time.

They understand that Regulus prefers to communicate in different ways. When he can’t speak, he likes to communicate through touch, or facial expressions. He shows his love in these ways, as well. Why speak when he can just show?

After eating a few bites of a dish that Mary prepared, he finds their eyes from across the table and smiles, tilting his head to indicate that he likes it. Mary’s face melts into a pleased smile of their own, then blowing him a kiss from across the table.

Whilst Sirius’ friends are some of Regulus’ favourite people, he does also like that he only sees them on occasion. This feels mean, but together, they’re all so loud. All of them seem to understand one another on a deep level, meaning they get along in the best of ways. They’re loud, and laugh a lot, and are so very interactive with each other. There’s not a dull moment when they’re all together.

Regulus doesn’t mind this, but it’s not always ideal, either.

He’s playing with his food a bit, moving everything on his plate around and poking at it, his appetite not entirely there, when a hand rests on his shoulder.

It doesn’t take Regulus more than a second to work out who it is, looking up at Lily’s gentle smile.

Regulus can practically feel his shoulders deflate, no longer tense. He melts a bit under Lily’s touch, his hardened expression softening as she sits down beside him.

Lily’s hand moves down from Regulus’ shoulder to his arm, his fingers sliding slowly until they can tangle with Regulus’.

He moves forward to kiss Lily on the cheek, so, so soft.

Whilst everybody dives into conversation, asking her how work was and how she is and just any question under the sun, Regulus rests back in his chair, feeling a little lighter.

Lily’s thumb is circling his hand, and he can’t possibly understand how Lily’s touch seems to make him feel so much better, but it just does.

She even shuffles their chairs closer together, so he can lean up against Regulus and press kisses to his knuckles on occasion.

It takes a while, but everybody begins to quieten down. They get more relaxed, everyone busy in their own conversations. Mary, Marlene, and Remus have their heads down, whispering about something that Regulus doesn’t really care for. Peter and James are having a conversation of their own, which results in Peter flicking James over the head. Regulus wonders what that’s about. Meanwhile, Sirius and Dorcas are exchanging eyeliner tips, looking impressed each time the other suggests something.

Lily’s head knocks against his, eyes searching him. “Are you alright?” he asks, bringing a hand up to Regulus’ face.

Regulus licks his bottom lip, pressing into her more. “I just missed you.”

The smile on Lily’s face is instantaneous, it lights up his eyes like stars in the night sky.

She presses a soft kiss to Regulus’ lips, even when they’re in the middle of everybody. Regulus finds that they could be in front of the entire world and he would still kiss her. 

This is special to him, because Regulus has always disliked affection, especially in public.

With Lily, everything is so different. It’s lighter.

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
And I will hold on to you

Regulus loves Lily’s dorm.

Somehow, she has made it so entirely herself. There are bits of her personality everywhere.

A small desk, stacked with sheets of paper and stationery and textbooks. It’s a bit scattered, but still organised in the way Lily always is. Her laptop is covered in stickers correlating to her favourite artists and shows, and it sits amidst the mess of his desk.

Beside the desk is a small, cubed shelf that has all of her figure skating things upon it—her skates displayed at the very top. Her duvet cover is covered in flowers and bigger than the size of her bed, making it impossibly comfortable. Regulus just loves it.

Tonight, they’re curled up in his bed together, a still hot mug of tea on the bedside table. Neither of them have classes tomorrow, and they’re up late, having just finished a movie.

Recently, Lily has taken her braids out, and Regulus finds himself unable to stop running his hands through Lily’s curls.

She leans into his hand, whilst flicking on the fairy lights around his room. They’re enveloped in a warm glow, and it feels special. Regulus’ eyes travel around Lily’s room, finding his pinboard.

It’s got photos stuck all over it, most prominently photos of Regulus. Regulus’ eyes, however, find the one of Lily and his sister. It’s crumpled and looks a bit old, but still hung up in the middle of the board.

Lily must see what he’s looking at, because she sighs a little.

“Petunia,” he says quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

“She’s named after a flower, too?” Regulus asks gently. He almost smiles, finding it ironic that whilst he and Sirius are named after stars, Lily and Petunia are named after flowers. But now isn’t the time to bring that up.

“Yeah. My parents are weird, I suppose,” Lily shrugs. “She’s a couple years older than me. Got married last summer, actually. It was… strange.”

Regulus finds Lily’s eyes, his fingers still curling around his hair. “Strange how?”

“When she and I were younger, she’d always speak about wanting to get married. A hopeless romantic, I suppose. That’s not the strange part, though. She also used to tell me that I’d be the maid of honour in her wedding, because of course. I’m her sister, afterall.”

Lily pauses, letting his eyes flutter shut. Regulus waits. He knows that talking is hard sometimes. Of course he knows.

When Lily continues, her eyes are still closed. “But when the time came, I wasn’t even a part of the wedding. Her husband’s sister was her maid of honour. And she didn’t say anything about it to me. I’d come home from college, and my mother was the one who told me about the wedding. Not Pet. I’d been so excited… until she told me I wasn’t the maid of honour.”

“Ever since I left for college, she’s sort of. Despised me? I’m not sure how to explain it, Reg. We used to talk all the time, about everything. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. Doesn’t return my messages. I feel like she—hates me.” Lily’s voice cracks on the word hate, and Regulus pulls her closer.

“I don’t see why anyone would hate you,” he says, eyebrows furrowed. This genuinely makes no sense to him. But he knows about strained sibling relationships. He and Sirius haven’t always been this close.

“There’s a lot to hate about me,” Lily says, so quiet Regulus could almost convince himself he imagined it.

“No there’s not,” Regulus replies instantly, a reflex. “I don’t know if you know yourself, Lily Evans, but you’re quite literally the best person I’ve ever met. Ignore the fact that I am extremely biassed. You’re smart, and you’re capable and independent, and you’re so beautiful. You’re so very caring to everybody you know. If Petunia hates you, as you say, then she’s deluded. Because there really is nothing to hate about you.”

Lily unexpectedly shoves his face into Regulus’ neck, flustered maybe. He holds him close, hand on the back of Lily’s head. She’s clinging to him like he might disappear if she lets go.

“I miss her,” Lily says. It’s muffled by his neck, and he has to strain to hear it, but she says it. He holds her impossibly closer and runs a gentle hand up and down the back of her head. Regulus wishes, in this moment, that he could just take away every single painful feeling Lily experiences. Such a person doesn’t deserve to feel such negative emotions. Regulus would know.

They don’t say much else for a while after this. Regulus holds him, and Lily remains quiet, dug into Regulus.

Eventually Lily lets go a bit, so he can look into Regulus’ eyes. They remain tangled together, legs thrown over one another and arms wrapped around waists. Regulus is still running a hand through her hair.

“Tell me something, now?” Lily requests quietly. It’s not a demand, it’s an option. Regulus understands that he doesn’t have to, but it still makes him nervous, because he wants to.

Regulus has always struggled to talk about his childhood. He can still hardly talk about it with Sirius, who grew up with him. And yet, Lily has just opened up about her sister, about her hate for herself. And Regulus knows he needs to say something.

“When I was younger,” Regulus starts, and then he pauses, because he’s struggling with stringing his words together. He’s overly aware of his lips wrapping around each letter as he speaks. “There was this tree, in the forest behind my house. The inside was hollow, and I was slim enough to fit inside of it. There was this one day where Sirius and I were home alone, and she asked me to do her makeup.”

Lily looks at him with wide eyes, only further encouraging him to keep speaking.

“I didn’t expect our parents home for a few hours, so I did. Back then, neither of us really understood gender, or what it meant to be… something other than what we were born as. But I didn’t question it. Sirius wanted her makeup done, and of course I was going to do it. She was my whole world. But, shortly after I’d finished, our parents returned.”

Regulus has to stop for a while, because this isn’t a pleasant memory. He can still picture it all in his mind. He fiddles with Lily’s hair before he continues.

“Before Sirius could take anything off, our mother, she was just there. She saw Sirius’ face, and she saw that I was sitting beside the makeup. She was enraged. Sirius—she told me to run. To hide. And I did. I’ve never handled conflict well. I went to that tree.”

“The only thing was, the tree wasn’t far from my father’s office. And that’s where my mother had brought Sirius, to punish her. I heard everything. I heard her screams and cries, and I couldn’t do anything but sob silently in that fucking tree. I was there for hours, unable to move, until late into the night. I knew my mother would be furious with me, but I couldn’t move.”

“Regulus…”

“Sirius found me eventually. Temperatures had dropped so low that it was a wonder I didn’t get hypothermia. She hid me from our mother for a while, but she wasn’t able to protect me forever. That’s not even… that’s not the—it’s not—”

Lily cuts Regulus off by pressing her lips against his gently, reassuringly, and wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him close. “You don’t have to say anything else,” he whispers.

Just like before, they lay for a while, quiet and breathing. Regulus is shaking. More often than not, he suppresses the memories of his childhood. Talking about them brings it all back to life.

“I’m so proud of you,” Lily says. It startles Regulus, after they’d been silent for long.

He presses his lips together, processing the words. Lily’s proud of him. For what? For surviving?

Regulus’ breath is shaky against her skin, and he holds him close, unwilling to let go. He deliberates for a while, lips pursing and unpursing as he decides on what to say. Finally, he’s able to whisper the words, “I love you.”

Lily’s arms tighten around him, like this wasn’t what he was expecting. Her lips press against Regulus’ temple, kissing the same spot over and over.

“I love you,” she says, and she sounds so entirely sure of herself that Regulus would feel silly for doubting it. He presses himself to her, wanting to cry. Regulus thinks he does a little bit. He thinks she does too.

 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Lily and Regulus share one class together, on Tuesday afternoons and Thursday mornings. He loves it. Loves her company.

Most lessons, they don’t ever get much work done. Today is not one of those days—Regulus assumes.

He’s quietly doing his work, writing with his right hand whilst his left holds Lily’s under the table. Holding Lily’s hand is one of his favourite things to do. It’s such an innocent expression of love.

It’s a pretty dull lesson, but he feels at ease whenever her head comes to rest on his shoulder.

Lily’s a bit restless, probably bored. They have skating practice after this lesson, and he knows that she’s eager to get there.

Regulus has been writing for long enough that his hand is starting to cramp when Lily slides a stack of post-it notes over to him. On the very top note, there’s a doodle of a cartoon face sticking out its tongue. 

He turns to face Lily, finding her sticking her own tongue out, just like the drawing.

And then, Lily’s suddenly leaning forward until his tongue touches Regulus’ nose, practically booping him.

Before Regulus can even process it, a startled laugh escapes his lips, and Lily gapes a little. Then, she smiles.

“Did you just—”

“Mhm!”

“—lick my nose?”

“Mmmmhm!”

Regulus stares at her, incredulous for one, two, three seconds, before he laughs again. Louder now, letting it take over him a bit.

A few people turn back to look at them, but Regulus hardly cares, because Lily’s giggling too now. Her face lights up with it, and a pleased smile takes over Regulus’ face.

The entire thing feels like love. Regulus wants to hold onto it.

 ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Regulus is meeting Lily’s parents. In approximately five minutes.

He’s staying there for the entire summer, actually.

This, Regulus thinks, is more terrifying than anything he’s ever encountered in the past. Including his mother.

What if her parents don’t like him? What if he freezes up, and can’t talk, and ruins everything?

What if they don’t like him, and then Lily realises that he’s not everything she thought, and leaves him?

He doesn’t like this thought process, but he doesn’t know how to stop it.

He doesn’t know how to stop it until he’s walking up the path to Lily’s house, hand in hand with him, and his parents are opening the door and smiling and he suddenly can’t think anymore.

They’re both so welcoming, never leaving Regulus or Lily unattended for a single second. Lily’s dad takes their bags up to her room, and Lily’s mum offers them a snack, or a drink, and really—it’s lovely.

The two of them are talking to Regulus, trying to get to know him, and he’s talking back, sharing parts of himself like it’s easy. He didn’t think things could be this easy.

Regulus meets Petunia too, and she’s distant and cold and leaves not long after to go back home, to her husband. Regulus isn’t all too sure where she lives.

“We’re making a big roast for dinner, and Lily’s grandparents are coming over, if that’s alright with you, Regulus?” Mrs. Evans says, her tone gentle. She’s short, the wrinkles on her face making her look soft and kind. Her hair is starting to go silvery grey.

“Yes that’s completely okay,” Regulus replies, his face sporting a small smile.

He’s never known parents to be so warm.

Eventually, a few hours have already passed, the time going by faster than Regulus could process. He hadn’t expected to enjoy himself so much.

They’re all sitting in the living room, just watching TV whilst waiting for dinner to be ready.

Lily tugs on Regulus’ arm, and when he looks at her, he can see a bit of desperation clinging to her. She leans in close, to whisper in Regulus’ ear.

“Can we go outside for a bit?”

Regulus nods, letting Lily lead him outside. The Evans’ back garden is just as beautiful and homey as the house, full of little garden ornaments and flowers. It’s everything Regulus’ house growing up was not.

In a way, he loves it. In a different way, he despises it.

As soon as they’re outside, Lily pauses to take a breath, before moving to press her forehead to Regulus’. Her eyes close, and she just leans against him, seeming to be recollecting herself.

“They just get so overwhelming,” he says eventually, eyes opening now to look into Regulus’. “I know that they’re just being, like, loving. But it gets too much sometimes.”

Regulus touches a hand to his face, rubbing gently. “I get that.”

“Can I show you my tree?”

“Your tree?” Regulus echoes, a little confused.

“Yeah,” Lily smiles. “I planted it when I was a child. My mother’s idea. I got to watch it grow, as I grew, myself.” She starts leading them to, Regulus assumes, the tree. “When I was young I would sit underneath it for hours just reading. It’s so very lovely.”

“What kind of tree is it?” Regulus asks, even when he has no clue about the different types of trees.

“Just a simple fruit tree,” Lily says. “Peaches. Mum’s helped keep it alive all these years, because I’m a little hopeless with gardening.”

They turn a corner, because Lily’s backyard is quite large, and there it is. A glorious tree with a small patch of dirt where the grass won’t grow. Regulus assumes this is from Lily sitting there for so many years. He sort of adores it.

“God, I’ve missed this,” he says wistfully, dropping down to sit against it once more. He beckons for Regulus to join him.

Regulus does.

Leaning against the tree is oddly comfortable, especially when Lily moves underneath his arm and leans against him. Their legs cross across one another, tangling comfortably. Regulus loves the way they just fit together.

“I love you,” Lily tells him, because they both like saying it. It’s so simple. Just; I love you for being you. For being here, with me.

“I love you,” Regulus returns, voice full of emotion in a way that it normally is not. He intertwines their fingers, pulling her closer into him.

Please, don't ever become a stranger
Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please, don't ever become a stranger
Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

It’s been a year. A year of just Lily. Almost.

It’s been a year since the previous New Year’s Eve party, where things between him and Lily seemed to have taken off.

Regulus is excited about this party, because he gets to take Lily to the rooftop again. He gets to actually kiss her when the fireworks go off this time.

When Regulus gets there, he arrives with Lily this time, and has also learned from his mistakes last year, and has his headphones on. Things aren’t immediately as overwhelming with them on, and it makes him smile a bit.

Like last time, he and Lily fix themselves drinks, and then find Remus and Sirius. It feels like a parallel.

“Please tell me you and Lily are like, official?” Sirius says at one point, when Lily is speaking to Mary and Remus. Regulus smiles at his sibling.

“I’d say we are, yeah. He’s my person, Sirius.”

Sirius smiles at him, looking as though she’s tearing up. Regulus thinks she’s a lot more emotional this year, probably because it’s her last year of college. “Remus is my person.”

“I know,” Regulus tells her. Then, deciding to get a little emotional too, says, “We’ve come so far. Really far.”

“Stop it, Reggie,” Sirius says, pressing a hand to her eye like she really is crying. “I’m so proud of you. Of us. Onto the next step of our life.”

“Yeah,” Regulus says gently, hand brushing across the pocket of his jeans.

Lily appears at Regulus’ side, leaning into him, a little tipsy. She kisses his cheek, smiling. “Dance with me, love?”

Regulus has never been a fan of dancing until Lily.

In the past year, outside of figure skating, he’s danced more times than he ever has in his life before.

Lily’s arms are around him and she’s laughing and singing and looking at him with stars in her eyes. Regulus feels as though he’s swooning, all the while checking the clock to see if it’s closer to midnight yet. 

Somehow, there’s a polaroid camera at this party too. Lily takes both photos of Regulus and with him, and Regulus manages to get a few photos of Lily, too. He’s breathtaking.

They stick together for a majority of the night, inseparable. 

Regulus has found that he and Lily didn’t have the typical ‘honeymoon stage’ that couples are always talking about. Instead, they’ve always been close, and affectionate, and themselves, even before they got into a relationship. It’s just who they are. 

They stay around each other because they like being around each other. They’re affectionate and touchy because it’s one of their love languages. 

There have been disagreements, and occasional anger, but there’s so much forgiveness and understanding to counter that. Regulus still, to this day, isn’t quite sure how he got so lucky with Lily. 

When Regulus notices that the time is getting closer to midnight, he manages to drag Lily away from everything, signalling to him that he wants to go to the rooftop. Lily agrees immediately, holding his hand the entire way there. 

It’s cold up on the roof, but Lily is warm, and clinging onto him. 

“I have something for you,” she says, when they reach the exact spot they sat in last year. 

“I have something for you…” Regulus says, suspicious. “What do you have?”

Lily pulls something out of her pocket, revealing it to be the photo they took last year. The one Regulus wanted so desperately to see. He sort of forgot about it, if he’s honest. She passes it to him, and Regulus wants to melt. 

The two of them, captured in time. They’re both smiling so wide, cheeks pressed against one another. Regulus remembers it like it happened only a second ago. 

He takes it from her, unable to stop his expression from lighting up. “It’s perfect. It’s us.”

“I wanted to kiss you that night,” Lily admits. “You looked so beautiful. So handsome.”

Regulus looks at her with disbelief. “I’d literally been thinking that night about how I didn’t think you’d ever like me back.”

“Look at how we turned out,” Lily grins, tilting her head to the side. Regulus leans forward, pressing soft kisses to her lips, until she interrupts to ask, “What do you have for me?”

Regulus’ eyes sink shut, nervous. “Uhm.”

It takes a while for him to gather up the courage to even say anything. 

“Lily, I want to promise you that I will love you for the rest of my life.” He pulls two promise rings out of his pocket. “I want to spend my entire life treating you as you deserve. Giving you everything you could ever need.”

“Regulus,” Lily says gently. “Just you is all that I could ever need. Just be you.”

Lily kisses him again, and Regulus clings onto the rings, eager to slide one onto Lily’s fingers. 

It’s as the kiss is deepening, just slightly, that the fireworks begin to go off. Regulus smiles into the kiss, ecstatic. Lily matches it. 

He pulls back, wanting to put the ring on her in this moment. 

“I love you,” he says. “I love you I love you I love you.”