Chapter Text
The first time he uses his powers, Sizhui - A-Yuan then - is barely three and he hasn't formed a Golden Core yet. Later, when his name and the person taking care of him will have changed once more, it will be one of the most important clues to discover where his ability comes from, what his ability is.
For now, A-Yuan is still barely three years old. He has been living in this new place for quite some time now. It's not the nicest, even him can tell: his family looks tired even after a good night of sleep, the woods around them can be a little scary and his bedding is often damp from the rain that keeps sneaking inside their hut. Sometimes he is still a little bit hungry when Granny tells him it's time to go to bed. But none of that really matters because it feels safe. Much safer than the place where he was before, with the mean people, dressed in yellow and shades of gold, who would hurt his Uncles and his Aunties and make Granny cry lots. Maybe his house here isn't the comfiest, but it's still the best because no one is hurting his family. No one yelled at him that one time he fell and scrapped his knees and cried a little. No one forces him to stay alone when everybody goes working after breakfast. He is happy here. Along with Granny, and Uncle Four, and Qing-jie, and Ning-gege. And Xian-gege.
Xian-gege is his favorite person ever. He is always smiling when he is looking at A-Yuan and it makes the little boy feels very warm. When A-Yuan has a nightmare about the mean people in gold, Xian-gege is always here to hold him tight and comfort him until he goes back to sleep. At dinner, Xian-gege always finds more fruits for him to eat. He always says yes when the boy asks him to play with him and he makes A-Yuan laugh so hard when the man buried him in the dirt and swears that it's going to make him grow faster. But A-Yuan's very favorite moments are when Xian-gege takes out his dizi and plays just for him.
In A-Yuan's fuzzy memories of before, he remembers his mother as someone who would make him feel safe and warm. So in his head and even sometime when he talks to Granny, he calls Xian-gege 'A-Niang'. Because it's who the man is for A-Yuan.
So of course the little boy would freak out overhearing Qing-jie that day.
"Wei Wuxian" she says and A-Yuan shivers because she never calls A-Niang by his full name. It's always 'Wuxian' or 'A-Ying' on a particularly good day. A-Yuan instinctively hides in a small alcove at the cave’s entrance, his eyes fixed on the two adults and his little hands clutched tightly around his paper butterfly.
"Wei Wuxian," Qing-jie repeats and somehow she seems even more menacing. "Were you planning on telling me? Or would you have kept it for yourself if I hadn’t caught you coughing all your blood on your damn cave’s ground?”
“Wen Qing!” A-Niang whines, “Let my cave out of this, okay? And you’re exaggerating again, it wasn’t all my blood.”
“Don’t try and trick me, Wei Wuxian. I knew from our first day here that the surgery has caused far more damages than I would have liked to, and you using resentful energy is certainly not helping. But I didn’t think it was that bad. You have several internal injuries that are taking too long to heal properly, including broken bones and abdominal bleeding. Resentful energy is the only thing keeping you from falling apart but it’s destroying you from the inside at the same time.”
“Aiya, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you make it seems.”
“A-Ying,” she says and her voice is so pained that A-Yuan almost starts crying on the spot. “I can’t do anything on my own. I need help. We need help. The Lan…”
“Wen Qing. It’s simply not on.” A-Niang declares, his tone hard and sharp and nothing like the gentle playfulness A-Yuan has always known him.
“A-Ying, you’re dying…”
A-Yuan may not know exactly what dying means, but he still knows that it’s a bad word. Granny used it once to tell him why his parents weren’t with them anymore and he also heard Qing-jie said it about Coal-gege when the latter was still lying on the table in the cave, looking so pale and even a little scary.
“Wen Qing. I said no. Listen, I know that I’m objectively running out of time. I need to find a way to keep you all safe without me before thinking of anything else. If I am fast enough, then maybe it’ll still be time to surrender myself to the Lan Clan and asks for their help. But I’m not risking all of your lives. You can’t change my mind on this.”
“You’re so stubborn! A-Ying, you’ve already given all of yourself to us, how can you keep going like that?”
The rest of the conversation is hold in softer tones that A-Yuan can’t make out from where he is. He doesn’t need to though. He knows that dying is a bad word. He knows that Qing-jie is a doctor and that A-Niang must be really sick for her to react like this. Just like when they had all just gotten here and Granny’s sister caught a cold. Qing-jie stayed with her for days trying to heal her but in the end Granny’s sister still went to join his first A-Niang and A-Die.
Qing-jie gets out of the cave without noticing A-Yuan and the little boy comes running to his A-Niang, hot fat tears already flowing down his chubby cheeks.
“A-Niang!” he wails as he attached himself to the young man’s shin. “A-Niang, don’t go. You have to stay with A-Yuan.”
A-Niang is already reaching for the boy, shushing him with tender words and gentle strokes. A-Yuan doesn’t waste any more time before snuggling even deeper into his Xian-gege’s embrace.
“My little radish, what happened? Why are you crying?”
“A-Niang can’t go. A-Niang said he would take care of A-Yuan. You will stay with A-Yuan, right A-Niang?”
The boy’s ear is pressed against the young man’s chest, but the steady heartbeat of his parental figure does nothing to ease his worries this time around. If anything, A-Yuan notices for the first time the irregular lapses in the rhythm and it upsets him even more. There is only one thought left in his mind: he has to make his A-Niang feels better. He has to help his A-Niang so he won’t leave him like his parents did.
He clutches his hands more tightly on his A-Niang’s robes, focusing on his heartbeat. Above him, his A-Niang gasps suddenly, but A-Yuan is too dedicated to hear it. Cold hands land on his shoulders, trying to push him away, but the boy resists, a little frown chasing away the tears.
The heartbeat is getting better, he thinks. He can help his A-Niang feel better! His own head feels a bit dizzy but he is too happy to care.
“A-Yuan, stop! Please, A-Yuan, stop that immediately. You’re hurting yourself, A-Yuan, please!”
The desperation in his A-Niang’s voice makes the boy shiver and he releases his hold on his robes to look at him. The utmost panic on Xian-gege’s face surprises him and he stops, confused.
“A-Niang, don’t cry, I’m going to make you feel better!”
“Oh, A-Yuan… Don’t, please.”
“But A-Niang…” he protests, ready to ignore the demand.
“No, A-Yuan. Listen to me. Please?”
The boy has half the mind to refuse and keep going. His A-Niang, however, is already moving him so he sits more comfortably in his laps. All his revendications are washed away when Xian-gege gently strokes his cheek before moving to brush his hair soothingly.
“A-Yuan, what you just did… You must promise to never do it again.”
“No! It was helping you! You were going to be better!”
“My A-Yuan, my sweet little radish… it was hurting you. I don’t want to get better if it means you have to be hurt for it. Do you understand?”
“But A-Niang!”
“A-Yuan. You are the most precious thing to me, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt. Ever. I won’t be happy if you are. So I need you to promise to never do that again. Can you do that, A-Yuan? For me? Don’t worry about your Xian-gege, okay? I’ll be fine.”
“Not gege,” the child grumbles. “A-Niang. And A-Niang said he was going to stay with A-Yuan.”
“Oh my A-Yuan… okay, okay, A-Niang will do his best to stay with A-Yuan, okay? But A-Yuan has to promise to never do that again. Deal?”
A-Yuan wrinkles his nose, not really happy to be stopped when he was pretty sure whatever he was doing was effective. But the more he thinks about it, the more it seems like a good deal. A-Niang always does what he says he will do. A-Niang is just amazing like that. So he nods and says:
“Okay, A-Niang. I promise. Come play with me now?”